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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,022 ♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪ 2 00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:27,728 ♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪ 3 00:00:27,730 --> 00:00:29,454 ♪ Tan tan ta ♪ 4 00:00:29,455 --> 00:00:30,660 ♪ Tan tan tan tan ♪ 5 00:00:30,661 --> 00:00:31,864 ♪ Tan tan ta tan ♪ 6 00:00:31,864 --> 00:00:33,493 ♪ Tan tan tan tan! ♪ 7 00:00:33,493 --> 00:00:36,969 That logo music just gets you pumped. 8 00:00:36,969 --> 00:00:38,167 Right? 9 00:00:38,167 --> 00:00:42,006 I'm sorry. I just, I'm excited to be here. It's been a while. 10 00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:42,908 You know, for a long time, 11 00:00:42,908 --> 00:00:45,142 I wasn't sure I'd ever be back. 12 00:00:45,143 --> 00:00:45,911 Disney bought Fox, 13 00:00:45,911 --> 00:00:47,979 there was a whole boring rights issue, 14 00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:48,781 blabbity-blabbity-blah. 15 00:00:48,783 --> 00:00:51,344 But then, it turned out, they wanted me. 16 00:00:51,345 --> 00:00:54,756 The one guy who shouldn't even have his own movie, 17 00:00:54,756 --> 00:00:56,118 much less a franchise. 18 00:00:56,119 --> 00:00:59,155 Marvel's so stupid. 19 00:00:59,155 --> 00:01:01,125 Look, we know the title of this thing. 20 00:01:01,125 --> 00:01:03,192 So, I know what you're wondering. 21 00:01:03,194 --> 00:01:04,061 How are we gonna do this 22 00:01:04,061 --> 00:01:07,867 without dishonoring Logan's memory? 23 00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,936 And I'll tell you how. 24 00:01:10,134 --> 00:01:10,771 We're not. 25 00:01:12,433 --> 00:01:15,138 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 26 00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:16,634 Wolverine is not dead. 27 00:01:16,635 --> 00:01:20,748 Sure, it made for a perfect ending to a very sad story. 28 00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:21,507 But that's not how 29 00:01:21,507 --> 00:01:23,609 regenerative healing factors work. 30 00:01:23,609 --> 00:01:24,817 You think I wanna be out here 31 00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:26,644 in beautiful downtown North Dakota, 32 00:01:26,644 --> 00:01:30,055 digging up the one and only Wolverine? No, thank you. 33 00:01:30,055 --> 00:01:32,826 But the fate of my entire world is at stake. 34 00:01:32,828 --> 00:01:34,652 He may not be living his best life, 35 00:01:34,653 --> 00:01:37,039 but he sure as hell ain't 36 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,426 dead. 37 00:01:43,936 --> 00:01:45,366 Bingo. 38 00:01:45,807 --> 00:01:47,204 Yahtzee. 39 00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:53,341 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 40 00:01:56,609 --> 00:01:57,917 Damn it! 41 00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:01,745 Son of a bitch! 42 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,087 You... 43 00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:09,060 Christ. Motherfucker! 44 00:02:09,061 --> 00:02:10,897 My world is fuck... 45 00:02:10,899 --> 00:02:14,098 That was weird. 46 00:02:14,099 --> 00:02:14,835 I'm much calmer now. 47 00:02:16,531 --> 00:02:19,466 Look, I'm not a man of science. 48 00:02:19,466 --> 00:02:22,975 But you seem incredibly passed away. 49 00:02:26,144 --> 00:02:26,879 But it's good to see ya. 50 00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:30,818 I gotta be honest, I've always wanted to ride with you, Log. 51 00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:31,741 You and me getting into it. 52 00:02:31,742 --> 00:02:35,713 Deadpool and Wolverine just fuckin' shit up. 53 00:02:35,715 --> 00:02:39,618 Can you imagine the fun, the chaos... 54 00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:41,058 the residuals? 55 00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:42,192 "G'day, mate. 56 00:02:42,192 --> 00:02:44,459 "There's nothing that'll bring me back to life faster 57 00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:47,098 "than a big bag of Marvel cash." 58 00:02:47,098 --> 00:02:50,728 Me too, Hugh. 59 00:02:50,729 --> 00:02:53,103 But, no. No, no, no. 60 00:02:53,104 --> 00:02:57,735 You had to get all noble and die for real. 61 00:02:57,736 --> 00:03:00,045 Goddamn it! 62 00:03:00,508 --> 00:03:03,884 I could really use your help right now. 63 00:03:14,224 --> 00:03:15,862 Wait! 64 00:03:15,864 --> 00:03:17,965 I'm warning you, I'm not alone. 65 00:03:17,966 --> 00:03:19,558 Wade Winston Wilson, 66 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,662 you are under arrest by the Time Variance Authority... 67 00:03:22,663 --> 00:03:23,530 Oof. 68 00:03:23,531 --> 00:03:24,768 ...for too many crimes to list. 69 00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:25,920 Come out... 70 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,072 ...and we'll extend you the courtesy 71 00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:30,043 - of taking you in one piece. - Death by day-player. 72 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,141 Last chance. 73 00:03:31,143 --> 00:03:31,912 Throw out your weapons 74 00:03:31,913 --> 00:03:34,045 and come out peacefully. 75 00:03:34,046 --> 00:03:36,180 I'm not gonna give you my weapons, 76 00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:38,776 but I promise not to use them. 77 00:03:38,776 --> 00:03:41,262 There are two hundred and six bones in the human body. 78 00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:43,748 Two hundred and seven if I'm watching Gossip Girl. 79 00:03:45,701 --> 00:03:47,653 - Here we go. Maximum effort. - ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 80 00:03:51,789 --> 00:03:54,968 - ♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 81 00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:55,594 Okay, peanut. 82 00:03:55,596 --> 00:03:58,335 Guess we're getting that team-up after all. 83 00:03:58,632 --> 00:04:02,074 - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 84 00:04:06,310 --> 00:04:08,146 ♪ I'm doing this tonight ♪ 85 00:04:08,146 --> 00:04:10,985 ♪ You're probably gonna start a fight ♪ 86 00:04:11,579 --> 00:04:13,987 ♪ I know this can't be right ♪ 87 00:04:13,989 --> 00:04:16,639 ♪ Hey, baby, come on ♪ 88 00:04:16,639 --> 00:04:19,288 ♪ I loved you endlessly ♪ 89 00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:21,687 ♪ When you weren't there for me ♪ 90 00:04:21,687 --> 00:04:27,726 ♪ So now it's time to leave and make it alone ♪ 91 00:04:27,728 --> 00:04:30,697 ♪ I know that I can't take no more ♪ 92 00:04:33,204 --> 00:04:35,668 ♪ I wanna see you out that door ♪ 93 00:04:35,668 --> 00:04:38,308 - ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 94 00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:40,375 ♪ Don't wanna be a fool for you ♪ 95 00:04:40,377 --> 00:04:43,747 ♪ Just another player in your game for two ♪ 96 00:04:43,749 --> 00:04:46,649 ♪ You may hate me, but it ain't no lie ♪ 97 00:04:46,649 --> 00:04:49,550 - ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 98 00:04:49,552 --> 00:04:51,617 ♪ Don't really wanna make it tough ♪ 99 00:04:51,619 --> 00:04:55,204 ♪ I just wanna tell you that I've had enough ♪ 100 00:04:55,204 --> 00:04:58,790 ♪ It might sound crazy, but it ain't no lie ♪ 101 00:04:58,792 --> 00:05:02,761 ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪ 102 00:05:02,762 --> 00:05:04,862 ♪ Just hit me with the truth ♪ 103 00:05:04,862 --> 00:05:07,502 ♪ Now, girl, you're more than welcome to ♪ 104 00:05:07,504 --> 00:05:10,143 Maradona from outside the box! 105 00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:12,572 Goal! 106 00:05:12,574 --> 00:05:13,574 ♪ Baby, come on ♪ 107 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:16,209 ♪ I know that I can't take no more ♪ 108 00:05:16,209 --> 00:05:18,843 ♪ It ain't no lie ♪ 109 00:05:18,845 --> 00:05:21,648 ♪ I wanna see you out that door ♪ 110 00:05:21,649 --> 00:05:24,355 - ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 111 00:05:24,355 --> 00:05:26,487 ♪ Don't wanna be a fool for you ♪ 112 00:05:26,488 --> 00:05:29,639 ♪ Just another player in your game for two ♪ 113 00:05:29,641 --> 00:05:32,569 ♪ You may hate me, but it ain't no lie ♪ 114 00:05:32,569 --> 00:05:35,497 - ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 115 00:05:35,499 --> 00:05:37,663 ♪ Don't really wanna make it tough ♪ 116 00:05:37,665 --> 00:05:41,201 ♪ I just wanna tell you that I had enough ♪ 117 00:05:41,201 --> 00:05:44,737 ♪ Might sound crazy, but it ain't no lie ♪ 118 00:05:44,738 --> 00:05:48,312 ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪ 119 00:05:50,677 --> 00:05:54,021 ♪ I don't wanna be your fool ♪ 120 00:05:54,023 --> 00:05:56,682 ♪ In this game for two ♪ 121 00:05:56,683 --> 00:05:59,653 ♪ So I'm leavin' you behind ♪ 122 00:05:59,654 --> 00:06:01,060 Come on, big fella. 123 00:06:01,062 --> 00:06:02,589 ♪ Bye, bye, bye, yeah ♪ 124 00:06:02,591 --> 00:06:05,428 ♪ I don't wanna make it tough ♪ 125 00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:07,298 ♪ But I've had enough ♪ 126 00:06:07,298 --> 00:06:11,468 - ♪ And it ain't no lie ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 127 00:06:11,468 --> 00:06:12,269 ♪ Baby ♪ 128 00:06:12,271 --> 00:06:13,733 ♪ Don't wanna be a fool for you ♪ 129 00:06:13,733 --> 00:06:15,504 ♪ Just another player in your game for two ♪ 130 00:06:15,504 --> 00:06:20,345 ♪ I don't wanna be your fool, but it ain't no lie ♪ 131 00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:22,841 - ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 132 00:06:22,843 --> 00:06:24,644 ♪ Don't really wanna make it tough ♪ 133 00:06:24,646 --> 00:06:28,132 ♪ I just wanna tell you that I had enough ♪ 134 00:06:28,132 --> 00:06:31,295 ♪ Might sound crazy, but it ain't no lie ♪ 135 00:06:31,295 --> 00:06:33,927 - ♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 136 00:06:39,848 --> 00:06:43,137 I am soaking wet right now. 137 00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:47,783 To be clear, I'm not proud of any of this. 138 00:06:47,784 --> 00:06:50,704 The wanton violence, the whiff of necrophilia. 139 00:06:50,706 --> 00:06:51,737 It isn't who I am. 140 00:06:51,738 --> 00:06:53,543 It isn't who I wanna be. 141 00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:54,213 Who I wanna be? 142 00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:56,447 Well, to help you understand that, 143 00:06:56,447 --> 00:06:57,348 I've gotta take you back. 144 00:06:57,348 --> 00:06:59,846 A little joyride I took through space and time, 145 00:06:59,846 --> 00:07:03,091 to the day that changed everything. 146 00:07:14,762 --> 00:07:16,466 I can't believe I'm finally here. 147 00:07:16,466 --> 00:07:20,305 I've waited for this moment for so long. 148 00:07:20,668 --> 00:07:23,870 Thank you, sir, for seeing me. 149 00:07:23,870 --> 00:07:25,903 I... I firmly believe 150 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,725 that my services could be of 151 00:07:27,725 --> 00:07:29,545 great use to your organization. 152 00:07:29,547 --> 00:07:30,149 Now, I know 153 00:07:30,151 --> 00:07:32,417 I was caught smashturbating in the lobby of Stark Tower, 154 00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:33,846 - but I can assure you that... - Smashturbating? 155 00:07:33,848 --> 00:07:34,913 I'm sorry, what... what was that? 156 00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:39,050 No, I'm sorry. That... That's when you get those toy, 157 00:07:39,050 --> 00:07:39,752 Hulk hands, right? 158 00:07:39,754 --> 00:07:42,338 And then you just, you look down, and you just... 159 00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:44,923 you brace yourself, and you ravage the midsection. 160 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,925 - Pinch the... Yeah. Okay. - I get it. Okay, thank you. 161 00:07:46,927 --> 00:07:48,927 - The picture's painted. - You get the gist. 162 00:07:48,928 --> 00:07:51,634 Uh, what exactly brings you here today? 163 00:07:51,634 --> 00:07:55,098 Why am I... Wow. Okay. Uh... 164 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,000 I... I care. 165 00:07:56,000 --> 00:08:00,103 I know I turn everything into a joke, but I... 166 00:08:00,973 --> 00:08:04,845 I care, and I wanna use that feeling... 167 00:08:05,009 --> 00:08:06,797 for something important. 168 00:08:06,798 --> 00:08:08,584 I... I wanna matter. 169 00:08:11,048 --> 00:08:14,084 I need to show my girl that I matter. 170 00:08:14,954 --> 00:08:15,954 And... 171 00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:17,560 You know, I feel like I'm wasting 172 00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:18,297 the good stuff here. 173 00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,992 Is the man not gonna be joining us? 174 00:08:19,992 --> 00:08:20,761 - The man? - Yeah. 175 00:08:20,762 --> 00:08:22,598 I should save this if he's gonna... 176 00:08:22,598 --> 00:08:25,206 Uh, as far as you're concerned right now, I'm the man. 177 00:08:25,206 --> 00:08:26,569 - No. - The man is me. 178 00:08:26,569 --> 00:08:29,836 I am the man in this circumstance. 179 00:08:29,838 --> 00:08:31,035 - Mm. - He doesn't do 180 00:08:31,036 --> 00:08:32,740 this kind of thing anymore. 181 00:08:32,741 --> 00:08:33,509 - Cameos? - Meetings. 182 00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:35,644 - Meetings. - Entry-level meetings. 183 00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:36,249 Entry-level? 184 00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,009 Aren't you the chauffeur... 185 00:08:38,009 --> 00:08:40,418 - maybe? - I... Common misconception. 186 00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:42,014 - Okay. - I did begin my career 187 00:08:42,014 --> 00:08:43,586 as Mr. Stark's driver. 188 00:08:43,586 --> 00:08:44,586 - Okay. - Quickly pivoted to... 189 00:08:44,587 --> 00:08:46,352 - Chauffeur. - ...the Head of Security. 190 00:08:46,354 --> 00:08:48,119 The Head of... Of course, yes, yes, yes. 191 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,956 And why I am vetting your resume. 192 00:08:50,956 --> 00:08:53,498 You seem to have left out whether or not you had 193 00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:55,631 any experience as a member of a team. 194 00:08:55,633 --> 00:08:56,368 Could you maybe add 195 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,467 a little bit of perspective there? 196 00:08:57,469 --> 00:09:00,097 Oh. No, yes, of course. I was Special Forces... 197 00:09:00,099 --> 00:09:01,451 - Okay. - ...but I was... 198 00:09:01,451 --> 00:09:02,562 Mainly, I was team leader... 199 00:09:02,562 --> 00:09:03,672 founder, really, of X-Force. 200 00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,938 Sadly, they... they all perished in action though. 201 00:09:05,940 --> 00:09:07,104 Oh. How exactly did that happen? 202 00:09:07,105 --> 00:09:09,072 Well, the police say gravity, but if... 203 00:09:09,073 --> 00:09:11,043 Just between us, they didn't test well 204 00:09:11,043 --> 00:09:12,797 - in the focus group. - I see. 205 00:09:12,798 --> 00:09:14,552 - Particularly Cable. - X-Force. 206 00:09:14,552 --> 00:09:15,254 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 207 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:16,437 Look, I can see this isn't going well. 208 00:09:16,438 --> 00:09:18,580 Please stop writing. Look, I... I... 209 00:09:18,581 --> 00:09:20,722 I'm just... I wanna be an Avenger. 210 00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:24,121 I wanna be an Avenger. 211 00:09:24,859 --> 00:09:26,760 Why do you wanna be an Avenger? 212 00:09:26,761 --> 00:09:28,533 Look around you. I mean, they're the... 213 00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:30,364 they're the best of the best. 214 00:09:30,365 --> 00:09:32,196 And... And what they do matters. 215 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,097 I need to be an Avenger. 216 00:09:34,099 --> 00:09:36,937 Sir, my girl has kinda had it with my shtick, 217 00:09:36,937 --> 00:09:37,837 and I... if I don't, you know, 218 00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:40,389 turn things around and do something with my "gifts," 219 00:09:40,390 --> 00:09:42,942 I don't think it's gonna really work out for me, 220 00:09:42,943 --> 00:09:44,976 and I wouldn't blame her. 221 00:09:44,977 --> 00:09:49,884 Avengers are a very unique group of superheroes 222 00:09:49,884 --> 00:09:50,620 that stand for something 223 00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:53,754 more than just fighting and wearing costumes. 224 00:09:53,755 --> 00:09:56,890 I mean, people look up to us. Kids look up to us. 225 00:09:56,892 --> 00:09:57,890 - They... - I'm sorry. "Us"? 226 00:09:57,892 --> 00:10:00,697 I wasn't aware that you were an Avenger. 227 00:10:00,697 --> 00:10:01,928 Avengers-adjacent, technically. 228 00:10:01,929 --> 00:10:03,159 Oh, wow. What's your superpower? 229 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:06,274 Is it parallel parking? I am so sorry. 230 00:10:06,274 --> 00:10:06,866 That was cruel. 231 00:10:06,868 --> 00:10:09,706 I lash out when I'm nervous. Won't happen again. 232 00:10:09,706 --> 00:10:11,168 - Let's cut to the chase. - Please. 233 00:10:11,169 --> 00:10:12,410 You just said moments ago 234 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:15,876 that you wanted to be an Avenger because 235 00:10:15,878 --> 00:10:17,043 you need it. 236 00:10:17,043 --> 00:10:18,207 Yes, sir, I do. 237 00:10:18,208 --> 00:10:20,013 But the Avengers don't do the job 238 00:10:20,014 --> 00:10:21,078 because they need it. 239 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:24,325 They do the job because people need them. 240 00:10:24,687 --> 00:10:27,019 Do you see the distinction? 241 00:10:28,153 --> 00:10:30,221 Yes, sir. 242 00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:31,528 Please, Mr. Hogan. 243 00:10:31,529 --> 00:10:32,927 I don't wanna spend the rest of my life 244 00:10:32,927 --> 00:10:36,062 like an annoying one-trick pony. 245 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,966 All right. 246 00:10:39,966 --> 00:10:41,572 Oh, my God, you're standing. 247 00:10:41,572 --> 00:10:43,740 Yeah, now's the time that we stand. 248 00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:44,201 Damn it. 249 00:10:44,201 --> 00:10:46,038 Now, the problem might be that you're 250 00:10:46,038 --> 00:10:47,875 reaching a little... little too high. 251 00:10:47,875 --> 00:10:50,615 Aim for the middle, and you'll never miss. 252 00:10:50,615 --> 00:10:51,979 Right? I think you got a good heart. 253 00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:53,584 I believe what you're saying. 254 00:10:53,585 --> 00:10:55,719 But not everybody's the world-saving type. 255 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,056 I'm not, and I'm happy. 256 00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:00,394 Right? I found my place. 257 00:11:00,724 --> 00:11:02,658 Find your place. 258 00:11:02,659 --> 00:11:04,693 All right? Get back out there. 259 00:11:04,695 --> 00:11:06,796 - We'll keep an eye on you. - Okay. 260 00:11:06,797 --> 00:11:08,292 Good luck. 261 00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:11,183 - Mm. Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 262 00:11:11,184 --> 00:11:13,902 Fetch the car. I wanna hit Shake Shack. 263 00:11:13,903 --> 00:11:16,201 Rejection makes me hungy. 264 00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:18,174 - No, no. Please. - No? 265 00:11:18,176 --> 00:11:19,875 - Yeah, no, no, no. - Okay. 266 00:11:19,875 --> 00:11:21,678 Okay, thank you. 267 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,549 You know what they say. 268 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,816 When one door closes, 269 00:11:27,014 --> 00:11:29,499 your locker at work opens. 270 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,163 Now let's go sell some certified 271 00:11:40,164 --> 00:11:41,831 pre-owned vehicles, motherfu... 272 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:48,001 Technically, the... the Carnival's not a minivan. 273 00:11:48,639 --> 00:11:49,232 It's an MPV. 274 00:11:49,234 --> 00:11:51,841 So how does the Kia compare to the Honda Odyssey? 275 00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:53,171 The Odyssey? That's a great question. 276 00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:55,173 Um, it doesn't fucking suck. 277 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,715 You know, you can answer the question without swearing. 278 00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:00,684 I'm sorry, Tammy, I don't... I don't have kids. 279 00:12:00,686 --> 00:12:03,187 Not that I haven't dreamt of that, 280 00:12:03,187 --> 00:12:05,690 but I don't have a lot of vaginal sex. 281 00:12:07,823 --> 00:12:08,989 You'll get 'em next time, pal. 282 00:12:08,990 --> 00:12:10,154 - Yeah. - And look, 283 00:12:10,155 --> 00:12:11,662 you can always go back to superhero-ing. 284 00:12:11,663 --> 00:12:14,297 I mean, I know I'd like to see you back in the suit. 285 00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:16,931 I don't keep it in my locker so that I can wear it. 286 00:12:16,932 --> 00:12:19,869 I keep it in my locker in case we need to saddle up again. 287 00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:23,740 Hey, hey, hey. What is that doing in there? 288 00:12:23,741 --> 00:12:25,336 I'm done. 289 00:12:26,611 --> 00:12:28,073 I'm done. 290 00:12:28,075 --> 00:12:30,125 And I'm fine with being done. 291 00:12:30,126 --> 00:12:32,177 Look, is sales the best match? 292 00:12:32,178 --> 00:12:32,815 Probably not. 293 00:12:32,816 --> 00:12:36,754 Is this the life that I always imagined for myself? Fuck no. 294 00:12:36,754 --> 00:12:40,527 But this is the right fit for me, Sugar Bear, it is. 295 00:12:40,528 --> 00:12:41,889 Okay, Mr. Wilson. 296 00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:43,711 I'm just saying, once a month, 297 00:12:43,711 --> 00:12:45,530 we could go on a little mission. 298 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:48,700 We're human beings. We crave purpose. 299 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:49,996 After all, we're Deadpool. 300 00:12:49,998 --> 00:12:52,934 Please stop saying that. We're not Deadpool. 301 00:12:52,936 --> 00:12:54,803 I'm not even Deadpool anymore. 302 00:12:54,804 --> 00:12:58,105 Well, if you're gonna have a midlife crisis, go big. 303 00:12:58,105 --> 00:12:59,775 A few years ago, a friend of mine 304 00:12:59,777 --> 00:13:02,828 got his nipples pierced with a titanium chain 305 00:13:02,830 --> 00:13:05,881 that goes down and attaches to his Van Johnson. 306 00:13:09,490 --> 00:13:11,788 Are... Are you feeling grumplestiltskin 307 00:13:11,789 --> 00:13:13,989 'cause it's your birthday? 308 00:13:15,121 --> 00:13:16,760 What? 309 00:13:17,024 --> 00:13:18,422 No. 310 00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:20,666 No. 311 00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:25,548 Surprise! 312 00:13:25,549 --> 00:13:28,399 Hey, you guys are lucky I'm not armed. 313 00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:29,201 Get in here. 314 00:13:29,201 --> 00:13:31,710 If this were six years ago, you'd all be dead. 315 00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,645 So then, he gets out of the cab, 316 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:34,645 and you will not believe it. 317 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,527 I turn around, and what do I find? 318 00:13:36,528 --> 00:13:38,408 - AirPods. His AirPods. - His AirPods! 319 00:13:38,409 --> 00:13:39,342 - Come on. - Crazy story. 320 00:13:39,344 --> 00:13:43,216 - Every time. Come on. - Every single time. 321 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:45,838 Make any sales today? 322 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,086 You know I didn't. 323 00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,990 Did you sell any dreamcatchers on Etsy 324 00:13:48,991 --> 00:13:50,596 or whatever it is that you do? 325 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:52,566 Our rent's due in three days, Wade. 326 00:13:52,567 --> 00:13:53,879 I can't keep carrying you. 327 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,193 Relax. I have the money. 328 00:13:55,195 --> 00:13:58,131 I sold some old blood pressure medication 329 00:13:58,133 --> 00:13:59,066 I found lying around. 330 00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:00,672 You tryin' to kill me, motherfucker? 331 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,576 I'm not the one dousing everything in salt, 332 00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:05,205 - motherfucker. - I pray every day 333 00:14:05,206 --> 00:14:07,008 that fire finds your body 334 00:14:07,009 --> 00:14:09,027 and finishes the job God didn't have 335 00:14:09,028 --> 00:14:10,971 - the nuts to do. - That's hurtful. 336 00:14:10,971 --> 00:14:12,916 If you could hear the look on my face, 337 00:14:12,917 --> 00:14:14,384 you'd smell how sad I am. 338 00:14:14,384 --> 00:14:16,119 You watched anything good? 339 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,855 Great British Bake Off. 340 00:14:17,855 --> 00:14:18,480 Oh, goddamn. 341 00:14:18,481 --> 00:14:21,105 That show stood between me and suicide for 10 years. 342 00:14:21,105 --> 00:14:23,729 Those are my feelings on abortion, religious freedom, 343 00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,894 animal rights, privacy rights, vaccines, 344 00:14:25,895 --> 00:14:28,677 free-market capitalism, global climate change. 345 00:14:28,678 --> 00:14:31,461 Yeah, duh-duh-duh. No, no speaking lines, Buck. 346 00:14:31,462 --> 00:14:33,683 - Hi, Yukio. - Hi, Wade. 347 00:14:33,684 --> 00:14:35,904 Nice fake o'clock shadow. 348 00:14:35,905 --> 00:14:38,743 It's a summer balayage. From the French. 349 00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:42,813 It's meant to mimic the natural highlights of the sun. 350 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,849 - It's a toupee. - It's a hair system. 351 00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:47,554 I love your hair system, Wade. 352 00:14:47,556 --> 00:14:48,720 Thank you. Heh. 353 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:49,479 Wanna do some cocaine? 354 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,956 Hey, cocaine is the one thing that Feige said is off limits. 355 00:14:52,956 --> 00:14:54,594 What about Bolivian marching powder? 356 00:14:54,595 --> 00:14:56,894 They know all the slang terms. They have a list. 357 00:14:56,894 --> 00:14:59,192 - Even snowboarding? - Even disco dust. 358 00:14:59,193 --> 00:14:59,961 White girl interrupted? 359 00:14:59,962 --> 00:15:01,282 - Even Forrest Bump. - Booger sugar? 360 00:15:01,283 --> 00:15:02,601 I wouldn't even try powdered gonuts. 361 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:07,365 - Do you wanna build a snowman? - Yes. But I can't. 362 00:15:08,466 --> 00:15:09,609 Pull here. 363 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:10,643 - Here? - Yeah. 364 00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,307 - What happened? - That's the fun part. 365 00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:16,583 Thanks for coming. 366 00:15:16,585 --> 00:15:17,616 Yeah. 367 00:15:17,618 --> 00:15:18,650 How's work? 368 00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:20,720 Oh, I got a promotion. 369 00:15:21,082 --> 00:15:21,543 No way. 370 00:15:21,544 --> 00:15:25,450 Yeah. It's mind-numbing middle management, but I'm happy. 371 00:15:25,451 --> 00:15:27,088 That's great. 372 00:15:27,859 --> 00:15:30,322 - You, uh, seeing anyone? - How about you? 373 00:15:30,828 --> 00:15:32,664 Um... Yeah. 374 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,602 A guy from work. Dermot. 375 00:15:35,604 --> 00:15:36,525 Dermot. 376 00:15:36,527 --> 00:15:38,066 - He's kind. - Good. 377 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,605 Likes to go hiking. 378 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,586 Hasn't gotten me shot yet. 379 00:15:41,586 --> 00:15:43,567 Well, it's the early days. 380 00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:49,572 What about you? You seeing anyone? 381 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:50,177 Mm... 382 00:15:50,177 --> 00:15:51,981 No, no, I live in a one-bedroom apartment. 383 00:15:51,982 --> 00:15:54,313 I share a bed with Blind Al. 384 00:15:55,051 --> 00:15:56,952 Okay. 385 00:15:56,953 --> 00:15:59,253 - All right. - All right. 386 00:15:59,549 --> 00:16:02,239 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 387 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,085 - Speech! Speech! - Yes! 388 00:16:05,086 --> 00:16:07,932 All right. Okay, okay, okay. Uh... 389 00:16:08,196 --> 00:16:08,965 Birthdays. 390 00:16:08,966 --> 00:16:10,836 Boy, every spin around the moon 391 00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:11,703 is a new adventure indeed. 392 00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:14,938 - Sun, dumbass. - Okay, round-earther. 393 00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,908 - Where was I? - The adventure of life. 394 00:16:17,909 --> 00:16:18,600 Right. Um... 395 00:16:18,601 --> 00:16:20,338 It's been a challenging few years. 396 00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:22,076 Haven't seen you guys in a while. 397 00:16:22,077 --> 00:16:24,562 Been through a lot, uh, change of life. 398 00:16:24,563 --> 00:16:27,049 - Menopause? - Bitch, are you improv-ing? 399 00:16:27,051 --> 00:16:28,820 - Mm-mm. - Sorry. 400 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,724 I'm sorry that you had to see that, Yukio. 401 00:16:30,725 --> 00:16:33,693 - It's okay. - Yeah. 402 00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:35,760 But I'm happy. 403 00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:36,894 You know, and that's... that's 404 00:16:36,894 --> 00:16:39,346 because of each and every one of you. 405 00:16:39,347 --> 00:16:41,542 I guess, what I'm trying to say is 406 00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,736 how proud I am, how grateful I am 407 00:16:43,738 --> 00:16:44,802 to be standing in a room 408 00:16:44,803 --> 00:16:48,235 with every single person I love. 409 00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:55,682 I'm the luckiest man alive. 410 00:16:57,575 --> 00:16:58,311 Make a wish, buddy. 411 00:16:58,312 --> 00:17:01,513 Ten-four, good buddy. 412 00:17:01,514 --> 00:17:03,152 Going down. 413 00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:09,861 Wade Wilson? 414 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,961 Oh, yeah. Dancers. 415 00:17:10,961 --> 00:17:12,731 Dopinder must have ordered you. 416 00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:15,031 Are those supposed to be cop costumes? 417 00:17:15,032 --> 00:17:15,900 Never mind. 418 00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:18,596 Take your clothes off but leave the helmets. 419 00:17:18,596 --> 00:17:20,184 And this isn't Pretty Woman. 420 00:17:20,185 --> 00:17:21,773 We're kissing. All right? 421 00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:24,810 What song do you guys normally dance to? 422 00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:28,210 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 423 00:17:28,211 --> 00:17:29,375 Is that supposed to be scary? 424 00:17:29,375 --> 00:17:31,674 Pegging isn't new for me, friendo. 425 00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,126 But it is for Disney. 426 00:17:33,127 --> 00:17:34,577 Ah, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta! 427 00:17:34,578 --> 00:17:36,596 Okay, I've never been a natural bottom, 428 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,778 so we're gonna take things real slow. 429 00:17:38,778 --> 00:17:40,959 And I want some crazy eye contact. 430 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:41,617 Not you. You. 431 00:17:41,618 --> 00:17:43,961 Can't see your eyes through the mask, but I can feel them. 432 00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:45,522 We're gonna move on down the hallway 433 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,657 so we can spare a cleanup on aisle asshole. 434 00:17:47,659 --> 00:17:49,560 How's everyone feel about this plan? 435 00:17:49,561 --> 00:17:50,263 I don't like you. 436 00:17:50,265 --> 00:17:52,596 Yes. Let's hold on to that attitude. 437 00:17:52,597 --> 00:17:54,807 And we're gonna do it angry. 438 00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,387 Mr. Wilson... 439 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:18,127 you appear to have soiled yourself while unconscious. 440 00:18:18,128 --> 00:18:21,031 I wasn't unconscious. Who are you? 441 00:18:21,032 --> 00:18:22,593 I go by the name of Paradox. 442 00:18:22,594 --> 00:18:26,663 Mr. Paradox. And you're sitting here at the TVA. 443 00:18:26,664 --> 00:18:28,598 The Time Variance Authority. 444 00:18:28,599 --> 00:18:30,634 We're really a watchdog organization, 445 00:18:30,634 --> 00:18:33,572 except we're more lighthearted than that sounds, 446 00:18:33,573 --> 00:18:37,048 with a sort of throwback, ironic twist. 447 00:18:37,048 --> 00:18:38,951 And we're in charge of defending 448 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,853 what's known as the Sacred Timeline. 449 00:18:40,854 --> 00:18:44,583 Holy fuck. That is a shit-ton of exposition for a threequel. 450 00:18:44,584 --> 00:18:46,739 Is this because I used Cable's time machine? 451 00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:48,894 Brought a couple of people back to life, 452 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:49,653 then I destroyed it. 453 00:18:49,653 --> 00:18:50,895 - That was a long time ago. - Yes, 454 00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:53,744 we're aware of your abuse of your timeline. 455 00:18:53,746 --> 00:18:56,654 And you were so abusive of it. 456 00:18:56,655 --> 00:18:59,565 Uh, no, it has nothing to do with that. 457 00:18:59,566 --> 00:19:01,203 Walk with me. 458 00:19:05,846 --> 00:19:09,079 I brought you here, Mr. Wilson, to tell you 459 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,575 that you're special. 460 00:19:10,576 --> 00:19:13,986 In fact, you've been chosen for a higher purpose, 461 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,548 a purpose unclear even to me. 462 00:19:16,549 --> 00:19:18,286 But one that could 463 00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:20,959 save the entire Sacred Timeline 464 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,930 from a possibly grisly fate sometime in the future, 465 00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:27,230 which may very well need to be... 466 00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:28,790 avenged. 467 00:19:28,791 --> 00:19:31,201 This Sacred Timeline, 468 00:19:31,464 --> 00:19:34,171 I assume I'm going to marvel 469 00:19:34,172 --> 00:19:35,699 at how 470 00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:37,271 cinematic it feels? 471 00:19:37,272 --> 00:19:38,845 Gratuitous cameos, 472 00:19:38,846 --> 00:19:41,705 indiscriminate use of Variants, the whole package? 473 00:19:41,707 --> 00:19:43,542 Well, you tell me. 474 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:52,320 Cap! 475 00:19:58,590 --> 00:20:01,174 You are no longer lost, Wade. 476 00:20:01,175 --> 00:20:03,759 You can be a hero among heroes. 477 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,170 We've been surveilling you for quite a while. 478 00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:10,240 - Subway station. - A TVA outpost, yes. 479 00:20:10,537 --> 00:20:12,703 - And what is that? - Hmm? 480 00:20:14,771 --> 00:20:17,048 Is that me? Is that Thor? 481 00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:19,077 - Is he crying? - Uh, let's not 482 00:20:19,078 --> 00:20:20,532 get ahead of ourselves. 483 00:20:20,534 --> 00:20:22,124 That happens in the distant future. 484 00:20:22,125 --> 00:20:23,713 Why is Thor crying? Quick! Tell me. 485 00:20:23,714 --> 00:20:25,749 Do not speak to her. Stop that. Eyes on me. 486 00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:27,785 I brought you here to offer you an opportunity. 487 00:20:27,786 --> 00:20:29,703 The opportunity you sought years ago, 488 00:20:29,704 --> 00:20:31,624 but for which you were not ready. 489 00:20:31,625 --> 00:20:32,855 We believe you're ready now. 490 00:20:32,855 --> 00:20:34,895 Ready for a chance to leave your timeline 491 00:20:34,896 --> 00:20:36,935 and join the greatest universe of all. 492 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,467 I am about to give you the thing you've always wanted. 493 00:20:39,468 --> 00:20:41,099 Oh, I smell what you're steppin' in. 494 00:20:41,101 --> 00:20:42,733 The power in the Marvel Universe 495 00:20:42,734 --> 00:20:44,769 is about to change forever. 496 00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:47,704 I am the Messiah... 497 00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:52,742 I am... 498 00:20:52,743 --> 00:20:55,416 ...Marvel Jesus. 499 00:20:55,747 --> 00:20:57,584 Can you excuse me for just a moment? 500 00:20:57,585 --> 00:20:59,883 I'm just gonna go over here. 501 00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:03,819 Suck it, Fox! 502 00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:05,541 I'm going to Disneyland. 503 00:21:05,542 --> 00:21:07,263 Get fucked! 504 00:21:10,233 --> 00:21:10,859 Where do I sign? 505 00:21:10,861 --> 00:21:12,828 Oh, there's no need for paperwork. 506 00:21:12,829 --> 00:21:14,798 Good. Not to brag, but I do not read. 507 00:21:14,799 --> 00:21:15,435 Oh. 508 00:21:15,436 --> 00:21:18,406 There is one thing I will need, though. 509 00:21:21,873 --> 00:21:24,577 Oh, fuck off! 510 00:21:24,578 --> 00:21:27,152 Adorn me, Beardo. 511 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,535 Fuckin' A! 512 00:21:48,536 --> 00:21:50,141 Uhh! It's perfect! FYI, 513 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:54,113 your tailor is a predator, but I love it. Snug. 514 00:21:54,114 --> 00:21:54,805 No camel toe. 515 00:21:54,806 --> 00:21:58,777 New car smell and adamantium katanas? 516 00:21:58,778 --> 00:22:00,432 You shouldn't have. 517 00:22:00,432 --> 00:22:02,086 Go ahead. Take it in. 518 00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:05,025 And yes, your underwear is getting tighter. 519 00:22:05,026 --> 00:22:06,823 That guy knows what I'm talking about. 520 00:22:06,824 --> 00:22:09,191 His clothes says middle management, 521 00:22:09,192 --> 00:22:11,558 but his eyes say fuck-y fuck-y. 522 00:22:11,559 --> 00:22:13,560 Yes. You look very nice. 523 00:22:13,561 --> 00:22:14,263 "Nice"? 524 00:22:14,265 --> 00:22:16,498 Your buddy here is ready to throw it all away for me. 525 00:22:16,499 --> 00:22:17,564 - You callin' your wife? - HR. 526 00:22:17,565 --> 00:22:18,730 Does your wife work in HR? 527 00:22:18,730 --> 00:22:21,536 I'm really glad you're taking this so well. 528 00:22:21,537 --> 00:22:23,009 Oh, I'm taking it well. 529 00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:25,672 I have never had a problem traveling for work. 530 00:22:25,673 --> 00:22:27,705 That said, we should talk vacation days. 531 00:22:27,707 --> 00:22:30,511 I'm more of a one-week-on- one-week-off kind of guy. 532 00:22:30,512 --> 00:22:31,676 I think it's what they do in Denmark. 533 00:22:31,678 --> 00:22:33,712 You know, you'll never see a Danish flag on the moon, 534 00:22:33,713 --> 00:22:35,516 but goddamn it, they're happy. 535 00:22:35,517 --> 00:22:38,883 Now, let's power up your little Amazon Fire phone there 536 00:22:38,884 --> 00:22:39,684 and zip me back home 537 00:22:39,685 --> 00:22:42,490 so I can let my friends know that they've been upgraded 538 00:22:42,491 --> 00:22:43,127 to disciples. 539 00:22:43,128 --> 00:22:45,927 Yeah. I don't think you... quite understand. 540 00:22:45,929 --> 00:22:48,912 Um, you will not be returning to your home 541 00:22:48,913 --> 00:22:51,895 because there will be no home to return to. 542 00:22:51,896 --> 00:22:52,797 Come again? 543 00:22:52,798 --> 00:22:54,733 This time in my ears. 544 00:22:57,802 --> 00:23:01,971 This is your universe, Mr. Wilson. 545 00:23:02,082 --> 00:23:02,939 That 546 00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:04,974 is what happens when a universe 547 00:23:04,976 --> 00:23:06,942 loses their Anchor Being. 548 00:23:06,943 --> 00:23:08,912 See how it decays from the inside? 549 00:23:08,913 --> 00:23:11,865 - This is how a reality dies. - What's an Anchor Being? 550 00:23:11,866 --> 00:23:14,819 An Anchor Being is an entity of such vital importance 551 00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:15,556 that when they die, 552 00:23:15,557 --> 00:23:18,625 their whole world slowly withers out of existence. 553 00:23:18,625 --> 00:23:21,347 You've just won the lottery because I didn't die. 554 00:23:21,348 --> 00:23:24,070 It was just a little midlife crisis. I'm better now. 555 00:23:24,071 --> 00:23:27,205 Oh, no, no, no. 556 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,704 - Oh, my God. - Oh, I love to laugh. 557 00:23:32,705 --> 00:23:35,576 Can you imagine if you were the Anchor Being? 558 00:23:35,577 --> 00:23:38,397 - Yeah. - Oh! 559 00:23:38,398 --> 00:23:41,220 - Yeah. - No, it isn't you, Mr. Wilson. 560 00:23:41,221 --> 00:23:42,352 Your Anchor Being died 561 00:23:42,353 --> 00:23:45,256 in an act of self-sacrifice so epic 562 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:48,161 that it sent shivers down the Timeline. 563 00:23:48,162 --> 00:23:52,164 I am referring, of course, to... 564 00:23:52,791 --> 00:23:57,269 Logan. The Wolverine. 565 00:23:59,501 --> 00:24:03,170 Don't be what they made you. 566 00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:15,781 Ah, so this is what it feels like... 567 00:24:16,816 --> 00:24:18,653 Logan. 568 00:24:18,884 --> 00:24:20,391 Of course. 569 00:24:20,622 --> 00:24:22,051 Logan. 570 00:24:24,290 --> 00:24:25,527 Logan? 571 00:24:25,528 --> 00:24:27,430 The guy with forks for hands? 572 00:24:27,431 --> 00:24:29,564 That Wolverine? 573 00:24:29,565 --> 00:24:31,698 Yeah, I got it. You can turn your 574 00:24:31,699 --> 00:24:34,141 retro graphics of death off now. Make it stop. 575 00:24:34,142 --> 00:24:35,867 We're not doing it, Mr. Wilson. 576 00:24:35,868 --> 00:24:37,903 We certainly can't stop it. 577 00:24:38,970 --> 00:24:40,036 How long have we got? 578 00:24:40,037 --> 00:24:42,021 In most cases, couple thousand years. 579 00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:44,269 - Well, sweet. - Well, most cases 580 00:24:44,269 --> 00:24:45,974 aren't fast enough. Not for me. 581 00:24:45,976 --> 00:24:47,846 What does that mean? 582 00:24:47,846 --> 00:24:49,715 It means that I have been tasked 583 00:24:49,717 --> 00:24:52,587 with overseeing the end of your universe. 584 00:24:52,588 --> 00:24:53,356 And regardless of what 585 00:24:53,357 --> 00:24:55,690 the pencil pushers upstairs would prefer, 586 00:24:55,691 --> 00:24:56,260 I will not 587 00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:59,826 waste my life watching it die slowly of natural causes. 588 00:24:59,826 --> 00:25:01,942 We used to just prune these things. Simple. 589 00:25:01,943 --> 00:25:04,222 Elegant. Efficient. But I'm told the TVA 590 00:25:04,223 --> 00:25:06,346 doesn't like to do that anymore. Well, I do. 591 00:25:06,347 --> 00:25:08,943 And no matter what my so-called superiors say, 592 00:25:08,944 --> 00:25:11,540 the multiverse does not need a babysitter. 593 00:25:11,541 --> 00:25:13,207 We need a mercy killer. 594 00:25:13,208 --> 00:25:14,873 And in this instance, 595 00:25:14,874 --> 00:25:18,877 I am the mercy killer. Ha! 596 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:23,848 What in the MacGuffin is that? 597 00:25:23,849 --> 00:25:26,885 That's a Time Ripper, Mr. Wilson. 598 00:25:26,886 --> 00:25:27,984 An accelerant. 599 00:25:27,986 --> 00:25:30,758 Once completed, it will allow me to destroy 600 00:25:30,759 --> 00:25:33,161 the spacetime matrix of your universe. 601 00:25:33,162 --> 00:25:35,565 You see, I don't want to work for the TVA. 602 00:25:35,566 --> 00:25:36,796 I want to be the TVA. 603 00:25:36,797 --> 00:25:39,964 And the first step involves showing this organization 604 00:25:39,965 --> 00:25:41,916 how much more efficient it can become. 605 00:25:41,917 --> 00:25:43,869 To wit, I will be giving your universe 606 00:25:43,871 --> 00:25:45,970 a swift and compassionate end. 607 00:25:45,971 --> 00:25:47,477 And don't worry, your friends won't feel a thing. 608 00:25:47,478 --> 00:25:51,680 It'll be over just like this. "Oh, what's that?" 609 00:25:51,778 --> 00:25:53,318 Trust me. 610 00:26:04,759 --> 00:26:07,564 You're gonna Old Yeller my fucking universe? 611 00:26:07,565 --> 00:26:09,565 Mm... In your parlance, yes. 612 00:26:09,566 --> 00:26:10,895 Two in the heart, one in the head. 613 00:26:10,896 --> 00:26:12,766 Look, Mr. Wilson, you have two choices. 614 00:26:12,767 --> 00:26:14,834 You can either rejoin your loved ones 615 00:26:14,835 --> 00:26:16,903 and collectively cease to exist in, 616 00:26:16,903 --> 00:26:19,806 I'd say, 72 hours. Or... 617 00:26:19,807 --> 00:26:22,071 you join the Sacred Timeline. 618 00:26:22,073 --> 00:26:25,076 And you end your days of insignificance 619 00:26:25,076 --> 00:26:27,451 and mediocrity. 620 00:26:27,452 --> 00:26:28,781 Wade. 621 00:26:28,782 --> 00:26:30,851 Wade, you can finally, 622 00:26:30,852 --> 00:26:33,920 finally matter. 623 00:26:42,566 --> 00:26:45,305 That's all I've ever really wanted. 624 00:26:45,306 --> 00:26:47,097 I know. 625 00:26:47,197 --> 00:26:48,471 I know. 626 00:26:48,472 --> 00:26:50,970 And you know I'm... I'm nothing if not 627 00:26:50,971 --> 00:26:53,104 morally flexible. 628 00:26:55,039 --> 00:26:56,744 Yep, yep. 629 00:26:58,208 --> 00:26:59,142 I'll do it. 630 00:26:59,143 --> 00:27:00,076 Wise choice. 631 00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:01,550 The Sacred Timeline's happy to have you. 632 00:27:01,551 --> 00:27:03,701 I was actually talking about finding 633 00:27:03,702 --> 00:27:05,853 the Wolverine and breaking your fucking nose. 634 00:27:09,297 --> 00:27:13,096 ♪ And I'd give up forever to touch you ♪ 635 00:27:13,096 --> 00:27:16,896 ♪ 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow ♪ 636 00:27:18,865 --> 00:27:20,866 Find him. Find him! 637 00:27:20,867 --> 00:27:23,474 And boy, did he ever. 638 00:27:24,740 --> 00:27:27,171 Which brings us back to this. 639 00:27:27,941 --> 00:27:30,074 The desecration of the sacred corpse. 640 00:27:34,782 --> 00:27:37,213 Oh, my God! 641 00:27:37,555 --> 00:27:40,656 Oh! My own fucking arm! 642 00:27:43,121 --> 00:27:45,155 Now we're talkin'! 643 00:27:45,156 --> 00:27:46,827 Not like this! 644 00:27:46,828 --> 00:27:48,465 No, dear God! No! 645 00:27:48,467 --> 00:27:51,063 I'm sorry! Wolverine-ing is hard! 646 00:27:51,064 --> 00:27:52,449 Make it stop! 647 00:27:52,450 --> 00:27:53,835 Mangold tried. 648 00:27:56,705 --> 00:27:58,256 You sick fuck! 649 00:27:58,257 --> 00:27:59,807 Logan was a hero. 650 00:27:59,807 --> 00:28:01,578 And the only thing worth a shit 651 00:28:01,579 --> 00:28:03,614 to ever come out of Canada. 652 00:28:10,521 --> 00:28:12,986 Get my country's name 653 00:28:12,987 --> 00:28:15,955 out of your fuckin' mouth. 654 00:28:16,055 --> 00:28:18,728 And my sword. Give me that. 655 00:28:21,059 --> 00:28:24,194 Oh, I gotta find me another Logan. 656 00:28:24,195 --> 00:28:24,997 An alive one. 657 00:28:24,998 --> 00:28:27,736 Don't get up, guys. I'll see myself out. 658 00:28:35,645 --> 00:28:37,076 Logan! 659 00:28:39,616 --> 00:28:42,388 I'm gonna need you to come with me. 660 00:28:42,950 --> 00:28:44,721 Who's asking? 661 00:28:45,589 --> 00:28:47,723 Oh, look at this little Hairy Lou Retton. 662 00:28:47,724 --> 00:28:50,661 Did you stick the landing, little guy? 663 00:28:50,662 --> 00:28:51,528 Yes, you did! 664 00:28:51,529 --> 00:28:53,564 Comic-accurate short king. 665 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:55,247 Such a cute wittle Wolvie. 666 00:28:55,248 --> 00:28:56,930 Cue the fuckin' montage, baby. 667 00:28:56,931 --> 00:28:58,932 Ahoy! 668 00:28:58,933 --> 00:29:01,507 Everything seems to be on fire. 669 00:29:01,508 --> 00:29:02,605 You have a dragon? 670 00:29:02,606 --> 00:29:05,906 Ooh, you have Anchor Being written all over... 671 00:29:09,272 --> 00:29:13,585 ♪ Make a one man weep, make another man sing ♪ 672 00:29:13,586 --> 00:29:15,751 ♪ Change a hawk... ♪ 673 00:29:15,752 --> 00:29:16,246 Patch! 674 00:29:16,247 --> 00:29:20,426 Oh, now we're talkin'. 675 00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:21,723 Oh, yeah. 676 00:29:21,724 --> 00:29:24,991 That's the whole goddamn package right there. 677 00:29:25,564 --> 00:29:26,057 Howdy! 678 00:29:26,058 --> 00:29:29,210 I'm just... I'm auditioning Anchor Beings. 679 00:29:29,211 --> 00:29:32,362 Oh. Yeah, that's gonna need some coconut oil. 680 00:29:36,471 --> 00:29:38,169 What in the fuck? 681 00:29:38,170 --> 00:29:40,512 Are you okay? 682 00:29:40,513 --> 00:29:41,138 Oh, yes, yes. 683 00:29:41,140 --> 00:29:42,910 Classic John Byrne brown and tan. 684 00:29:42,911 --> 00:29:45,011 Now, you fought the Hulk in this outfit. No? 685 00:29:47,515 --> 00:29:50,017 I'm Marvel Jesus, you dull creature, 686 00:29:50,018 --> 00:29:50,752 and I will not... 687 00:29:59,961 --> 00:30:04,195 It's not you. We're just going in a different direction. 688 00:30:06,737 --> 00:30:07,506 You know, from behind, 689 00:30:07,507 --> 00:30:08,788 you look a little bit like Henry... 690 00:30:08,788 --> 00:30:10,980 Oh, my fuck! 691 00:30:10,980 --> 00:30:13,171 The Cavillrine. The legends are true. 692 00:30:13,172 --> 00:30:16,747 And may I say, sir, on behalf of all humanity, 693 00:30:16,748 --> 00:30:18,483 this just feels right. 694 00:30:18,484 --> 00:30:19,881 We will treat you so much better 695 00:30:19,882 --> 00:30:21,179 than those shit fucks down the street. 696 00:30:21,180 --> 00:30:23,648 - You were just leavin'. - No, sir. 697 00:30:23,650 --> 00:30:26,118 Not while the fate of my universe is at... 698 00:30:30,057 --> 00:30:31,861 This one looks promising. 699 00:30:31,862 --> 00:30:33,698 Down you go. 700 00:30:34,567 --> 00:30:35,962 Again. 701 00:30:35,963 --> 00:30:38,461 I told you. You're not welcome here. 702 00:30:38,461 --> 00:30:39,632 You're not welcome anywhere. 703 00:30:39,633 --> 00:30:40,802 Now get the fuck out of my bar. 704 00:30:40,804 --> 00:30:43,674 Just give me one more drink and then I'll leave. 705 00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:45,467 That's not how it works. 706 00:30:45,468 --> 00:30:48,272 It does now. Leave the bottle. 707 00:30:48,273 --> 00:30:49,207 I know you, bub? 708 00:30:49,208 --> 00:30:51,594 Nope. But I know you. 709 00:30:51,595 --> 00:30:53,981 Everybody knows me. 710 00:30:54,817 --> 00:30:56,049 I'm the Wolverine. 711 00:30:56,050 --> 00:30:57,753 Yes, you are. 712 00:30:57,755 --> 00:31:01,121 And I'm gonna need you to come with me right now. 713 00:31:01,451 --> 00:31:03,056 Look, lady, I'm not interested. 714 00:31:03,057 --> 00:31:04,663 Really gettin' into your cups here. 715 00:31:04,663 --> 00:31:06,863 Why would I go with you? 716 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,194 Because, unfortunately, 717 00:31:09,195 --> 00:31:09,798 I need you, 718 00:31:09,799 --> 00:31:15,036 and even more unfortunately, my entire world needs you. 719 00:31:15,037 --> 00:31:17,401 You two gonna fuck or fight? 720 00:31:20,547 --> 00:31:22,108 You gonna take that from him? 721 00:31:22,109 --> 00:31:23,174 Yep. 722 00:31:23,175 --> 00:31:25,474 I can tell you have a sort of don't-get-too-close- 723 00:31:25,476 --> 00:31:27,619 I'll-only-break-your-heart vibe going here, 724 00:31:27,621 --> 00:31:28,586 but every other Wolverine 725 00:31:28,587 --> 00:31:29,737 would've really hurt me by now. 726 00:31:29,738 --> 00:31:30,885 And I'm sort of on the tick-tick. 727 00:31:30,886 --> 00:31:32,691 - So, upsy-daisy. Here we go. - Whoa, whoa. 728 00:31:32,692 --> 00:31:33,923 - Up you go. - Hey, hey! 729 00:31:33,923 --> 00:31:35,792 I got you, big guy. 730 00:31:36,694 --> 00:31:38,092 Oh. 731 00:31:38,762 --> 00:31:39,631 Whiskey dick of the claws. 732 00:31:39,632 --> 00:31:41,666 It's quite common in Wolverines over 40. 733 00:31:41,667 --> 00:31:42,392 You don't want this. 734 00:31:42,393 --> 00:31:45,066 You're right. I don't. And you don't want this. 735 00:31:45,067 --> 00:31:46,804 Unless you wanna take a deep breath 736 00:31:46,805 --> 00:31:48,102 through your fuckin' forehead, 737 00:31:48,103 --> 00:31:50,467 I suggest you reconsider. 738 00:31:50,468 --> 00:31:52,172 Let's go, peanut. 739 00:31:55,846 --> 00:31:58,651 Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. 740 00:31:58,652 --> 00:32:00,180 Watch this. 741 00:32:00,509 --> 00:32:03,182 All right. That... Whoa. 742 00:32:03,183 --> 00:32:04,821 Easy. 743 00:32:07,857 --> 00:32:08,825 Good God. 744 00:32:08,826 --> 00:32:11,928 Thirsty little honey badger, aren't ya? 745 00:32:12,159 --> 00:32:13,521 It's okay. Keep goin'. 746 00:32:13,522 --> 00:32:16,701 Audiences are accustomed to long run times. 747 00:32:21,201 --> 00:32:23,940 Guess you'll have to do. 748 00:32:23,941 --> 00:32:25,678 Okay, here we... 749 00:32:25,875 --> 00:32:28,680 Oh! Look at those jammies. 750 00:32:28,681 --> 00:32:31,627 That only took 20 fucking years. 751 00:32:31,628 --> 00:32:34,576 One Anchor Being coming right up! 752 00:32:34,577 --> 00:32:36,099 On your left, baby girl. 753 00:32:36,101 --> 00:32:37,623 This Logan has the same 754 00:32:37,624 --> 00:32:39,839 he-can-do-anything- even-musicals look. 755 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:42,057 And bonus, he's actually wearing a costume 756 00:32:42,057 --> 00:32:43,557 like he's not embarrassed to be 757 00:32:43,558 --> 00:32:45,059 in a superhero movie for once. 758 00:32:45,060 --> 00:32:46,555 I don't understand. 759 00:32:46,556 --> 00:32:47,457 You said my universe is dying 760 00:32:47,458 --> 00:32:49,965 because this sack of nuts got himself killed. 761 00:32:49,967 --> 00:32:52,528 - Well, problem solved. - My God. 762 00:32:52,528 --> 00:32:57,710 You actually think you can replace an Anchor Being 763 00:32:57,711 --> 00:32:58,842 with this? 764 00:32:58,843 --> 00:33:01,978 I wouldn't have accepted any other Wolverine, BT dubs. 765 00:33:01,979 --> 00:33:03,814 But you have outdone yourself 766 00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:05,799 and brought me the worst Wolverine! 767 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,786 What do you mean, the worst one? 768 00:33:07,787 --> 00:33:08,720 Mr. Wilson. 769 00:33:08,721 --> 00:33:12,614 This Wolverine let down his entire world. 770 00:33:12,615 --> 00:33:15,694 He's the stuff of legend, but not in a good way. 771 00:33:15,695 --> 00:33:17,058 And what he did, 772 00:33:17,059 --> 00:33:17,761 well, 773 00:33:17,762 --> 00:33:21,194 some things are just beyond forgiveness. 774 00:33:23,065 --> 00:33:23,558 Okay. 775 00:33:23,559 --> 00:33:26,805 How do I... How do I make this right? I'll do anything. 776 00:33:26,806 --> 00:33:29,631 I gave you a chance at greatness. 777 00:33:29,632 --> 00:33:32,470 Because my superiors deemed you "special." 778 00:33:32,471 --> 00:33:34,273 Clearly not special in a good way. 779 00:33:34,275 --> 00:33:35,042 Apparently you have some 780 00:33:35,044 --> 00:33:37,540 important future purpose to serve. 781 00:33:37,541 --> 00:33:38,684 With Thor. He holds me. 782 00:33:38,685 --> 00:33:40,048 But I did my duty. 783 00:33:40,048 --> 00:33:42,215 I gave you the opportunity to be somebody. 784 00:33:42,217 --> 00:33:43,986 And instead of accepting my offering 785 00:33:43,987 --> 00:33:47,056 with humility and gratitude, you broke my nose. 786 00:33:47,057 --> 00:33:47,791 It looks great. 787 00:33:47,792 --> 00:33:49,459 And you decimated dozens of my men 788 00:33:49,460 --> 00:33:51,125 with the exhumed corpse of a hero. 789 00:33:51,125 --> 00:33:53,963 Dishonoring not only his remains but his memory. 790 00:33:53,964 --> 00:33:55,460 What are you, the Internet? 791 00:33:55,461 --> 00:33:57,230 Your world is dying! 792 00:33:57,231 --> 00:33:59,000 Thank you very much. 793 00:33:59,001 --> 00:34:01,103 And there's no stopping it. 794 00:34:02,136 --> 00:34:04,204 The humane thing to do 795 00:34:04,205 --> 00:34:04,941 is to make it quick. 796 00:34:04,942 --> 00:34:07,240 Is the thought of vaporizing my universe 797 00:34:07,241 --> 00:34:08,257 making you peckish? 798 00:34:08,259 --> 00:34:09,275 I'm eating my feelings. 799 00:34:09,275 --> 00:34:10,717 I'm about to lose everything that I've ever cared about 800 00:34:10,717 --> 00:34:14,610 because that hairy thundercunt from down undercunt 801 00:34:14,612 --> 00:34:15,248 finally dies, 802 00:34:15,248 --> 00:34:17,789 and he's standing right behind me, isn't he? 803 00:34:17,791 --> 00:34:19,791 Welcome to the MCU, by the way. 804 00:34:19,791 --> 00:34:21,909 You're joining at a bit of a low point. 805 00:34:21,909 --> 00:34:23,699 As for you, I wanna talk to your boss. 806 00:34:23,699 --> 00:34:25,612 I want you to get him on the phone 807 00:34:25,612 --> 00:34:27,523 and you tell him, her, or them, 808 00:34:27,525 --> 00:34:30,835 that Marvel H. Christ isn't playing. 809 00:34:35,632 --> 00:34:37,137 Holy shit. 810 00:34:37,139 --> 00:34:38,744 I just heard a symphony 811 00:34:38,744 --> 00:34:41,208 of buttholes clenching all at once. 812 00:34:41,210 --> 00:34:41,813 You're off grid. 813 00:34:41,813 --> 00:34:43,672 Your bosses don't know what you sick fucks 814 00:34:43,673 --> 00:34:44,639 are doing down here. 815 00:34:44,641 --> 00:34:45,574 Well, I'll tell you what. 816 00:34:45,576 --> 00:34:47,786 I have a black belt in Karen... 817 00:34:47,788 --> 00:34:48,710 And I'm gonna go upstairs 818 00:34:48,710 --> 00:34:52,153 and I'm gonna tell 'em all about you and your... 819 00:34:52,155 --> 00:34:54,056 Oh, silence is nice, isn't it? 820 00:34:54,057 --> 00:34:54,891 Where the fuck did he go? 821 00:34:54,893 --> 00:34:57,554 To the trash heap. You'll fit right in. 822 00:34:58,858 --> 00:35:00,161 Whew. 823 00:35:00,161 --> 00:35:02,394 That was close. 824 00:35:21,985 --> 00:35:25,153 Don't just stand there, you ape. 825 00:35:25,155 --> 00:35:26,791 Give me a hand up. 826 00:35:26,793 --> 00:35:28,452 Nope. I'm actually okay. 827 00:35:28,454 --> 00:35:31,963 Thank you very much. 828 00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:33,061 Where the hell are we? 829 00:35:33,063 --> 00:35:35,559 I don't know. Looks kind of Mad Max-y. 830 00:35:35,561 --> 00:35:38,134 But that would be IP infringement, right? 831 00:35:38,135 --> 00:35:39,034 Fucking jokes. 832 00:35:42,731 --> 00:35:43,875 Fuck! Fuck. 833 00:35:43,876 --> 00:35:45,106 Were you even listening back there? 834 00:35:45,108 --> 00:35:48,539 If we don't make it back to that Mr. Paradox asshole, 835 00:35:48,541 --> 00:35:50,079 everyone I know is gonna die. 836 00:35:50,081 --> 00:35:51,762 Not my fuckin' problem. 837 00:35:51,764 --> 00:35:53,445 Oh, is that all you got? 838 00:35:53,445 --> 00:35:56,822 Is that what you said when your world went to shit? 839 00:35:56,824 --> 00:35:59,137 Come again? 840 00:35:59,139 --> 00:36:01,378 Yeah, I heard all about you. 841 00:36:01,380 --> 00:36:03,621 How you screwed up everything. 842 00:36:03,621 --> 00:36:04,456 You should be thankin' me 843 00:36:04,456 --> 00:36:06,809 for pulling you out of that bed you shit in. 844 00:36:06,811 --> 00:36:09,164 You back-stabbing son of a bitch! 845 00:36:14,731 --> 00:36:16,804 Are you ready to be calm now? 846 00:36:23,211 --> 00:36:25,014 Rest in pieces, Fox. 847 00:36:40,228 --> 00:36:43,001 I don't want to fight you, peanut. 848 00:36:43,166 --> 00:36:44,793 Doesn't matter what you did. 849 00:36:44,793 --> 00:36:47,434 I just need your help. 850 00:36:48,005 --> 00:36:50,371 I don't fuckin' care. 851 00:36:51,074 --> 00:36:52,976 Uh... Uh-oh. 852 00:36:58,213 --> 00:37:01,646 Fuck. This is gonna hurt. 853 00:37:05,088 --> 00:37:06,418 All right. 854 00:37:06,420 --> 00:37:07,750 Fuck it. 855 00:37:07,751 --> 00:37:10,670 Let's give the people what they came for. 856 00:37:10,672 --> 00:37:13,592 Let's fuckin' go. 857 00:37:13,592 --> 00:37:16,067 Get your special sock out, nerds. 858 00:37:16,068 --> 00:37:18,795 It's gonna get good. 859 00:37:51,695 --> 00:37:54,302 ♪ Hell's bells ♪ 860 00:37:54,940 --> 00:37:58,043 ♪ I'll give you black sensations ♪ 861 00:37:58,043 --> 00:38:00,472 ♪ Up and down your spine ♪ 862 00:38:00,474 --> 00:38:04,108 ♪ If you're into evil, you're a friend of mine ♪ 863 00:38:04,110 --> 00:38:07,744 ♪ See my white light flashing as I split the night ♪ 864 00:38:07,746 --> 00:38:10,748 Ew. 865 00:38:11,188 --> 00:38:11,648 Gotcha! 866 00:38:11,650 --> 00:38:15,422 ♪ I got my bell, I'm gonna take you to hell ♪ 867 00:38:15,423 --> 00:38:18,425 ♪ I'm gonna get you, Satan get you ♪ 868 00:38:18,427 --> 00:38:20,824 Baby Knife! 869 00:38:23,628 --> 00:38:25,103 Let's see you grow 870 00:38:25,103 --> 00:38:25,827 your fuckin' head back. 871 00:38:25,829 --> 00:38:28,418 Wait, wait, wait! I can fix it! I can fix it. 872 00:38:28,420 --> 00:38:31,010 - Fix what? - Whatever it is that you did. 873 00:38:31,010 --> 00:38:33,110 Whatever made you so bad. 874 00:38:33,112 --> 00:38:34,110 Those... Those 875 00:38:34,112 --> 00:38:37,543 pricks in the TVA. You heard him. 876 00:38:37,543 --> 00:38:38,742 They have the power to end my universe, 877 00:38:38,742 --> 00:38:43,286 but they also have the power to change yours. 878 00:38:43,648 --> 00:38:47,619 We get back there, and we can fix your world. 879 00:38:47,621 --> 00:38:49,291 Together. 880 00:38:50,061 --> 00:38:51,822 I promise. 881 00:38:52,690 --> 00:38:54,429 They can fix it. 882 00:38:55,034 --> 00:38:56,034 Hey! 883 00:38:56,034 --> 00:38:57,782 We fight each other, we lose. 884 00:38:57,784 --> 00:38:59,692 Dear God, it's him. 885 00:38:59,693 --> 00:39:01,599 - Who? - The one. 886 00:39:01,601 --> 00:39:04,538 The superhero equivalent to comfort food, or Molly. 887 00:39:04,539 --> 00:39:07,739 White guys' answer to all the disappointments. 888 00:39:07,739 --> 00:39:08,806 And another A-lister. 889 00:39:08,806 --> 00:39:09,871 Fair warning, gorgeous. 890 00:39:09,873 --> 00:39:12,445 You're going to encounter some indelicate language, 891 00:39:12,447 --> 00:39:15,021 a smidge of ass play, but we've been prohibited 892 00:39:15,021 --> 00:39:16,548 from using cocaine. On camera. 893 00:39:16,550 --> 00:39:19,469 - They're coming. - Who's "they"? 894 00:39:25,889 --> 00:39:28,199 Oh, they're driving angry. 895 00:39:33,237 --> 00:39:35,688 Now that's a superhero landing. 896 00:39:42,543 --> 00:39:43,411 I got this. 897 00:40:07,469 --> 00:40:08,469 Stay close. 898 00:40:08,469 --> 00:40:10,405 Aye, aye, Cap'n. 899 00:40:11,143 --> 00:40:12,902 You got this. 900 00:40:13,541 --> 00:40:18,710 Cassandra is gonna be giddy when she sees what we caught. 901 00:40:18,974 --> 00:40:19,942 You can't run. 902 00:40:19,943 --> 00:40:20,876 Everybody knows that. 903 00:40:20,878 --> 00:40:23,197 You see anyone runnin', dick for brains? 904 00:40:23,199 --> 00:40:25,518 You're not gonna love what happens next. 905 00:40:25,519 --> 00:40:27,885 Oh. Oh, my God. 906 00:40:27,885 --> 00:40:30,557 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, he's gonna say it. 907 00:40:30,559 --> 00:40:31,789 - Ah! Fuck. - Ha! 908 00:40:31,791 --> 00:40:33,021 Oh, my God! He's gonna say it! 909 00:40:33,021 --> 00:40:35,128 - Say what? - Avengers, assemble... 910 00:40:35,128 --> 00:40:37,235 - Flame on! - I'm sorry, what now? 911 00:40:58,521 --> 00:41:00,126 Ohh! 912 00:41:00,126 --> 00:41:01,523 Fuck! 913 00:41:01,523 --> 00:41:02,920 Ahhh! 914 00:41:04,559 --> 00:41:07,661 - We don't know that guy. - We thought we did. 915 00:41:07,661 --> 00:41:09,134 I know you. 916 00:41:09,135 --> 00:41:12,335 Holy sh... 917 00:41:13,733 --> 00:41:15,201 Sabretooth. 918 00:41:15,202 --> 00:41:16,670 Your brother. 919 00:41:16,835 --> 00:41:17,934 Ready to die? 920 00:41:17,934 --> 00:41:21,806 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Time! 921 00:41:21,807 --> 00:41:23,005 You look ridiculous. 922 00:41:23,005 --> 00:41:25,777 People have waited decades for this fight. 923 00:41:25,778 --> 00:41:27,780 It's not gonna be easy. Baby Knife. 924 00:41:27,780 --> 00:41:29,782 Shoot the double, you take him down. 925 00:41:29,782 --> 00:41:32,081 Side control, then full mount, 926 00:41:32,081 --> 00:41:33,014 and you ground and pound 927 00:41:33,016 --> 00:41:34,967 till he makes no sound because he's dead. 928 00:41:34,969 --> 00:41:36,920 - Shut the fuck up! - Oh, my God! 929 00:41:36,922 --> 00:41:39,659 Okay. Good luck. I'm a huge fan. 930 00:41:51,177 --> 00:41:52,606 What is it, girl? 931 00:41:52,606 --> 00:41:55,807 Is there trouble at the well? 932 00:41:59,911 --> 00:42:01,913 Big trouble. 933 00:42:01,914 --> 00:42:03,077 Behold! 934 00:42:03,079 --> 00:42:06,851 The head of your precious queen, 935 00:42:06,853 --> 00:42:08,260 Furiosa! 936 00:42:08,688 --> 00:42:11,306 I have the Wolverine! 937 00:42:11,306 --> 00:42:13,731 I alone control her! 938 00:42:13,733 --> 00:42:16,518 You come for me, 939 00:42:16,518 --> 00:42:19,304 you come for her. 940 00:42:19,766 --> 00:42:21,987 So sorry. I know it's pronounced "him." 941 00:42:21,987 --> 00:42:24,210 I'm gender blind. It's my cross to bear. 942 00:42:24,210 --> 00:42:25,539 Who's next? 943 00:42:25,541 --> 00:42:26,871 Toad! 944 00:42:26,873 --> 00:42:28,675 You're up. 945 00:42:35,012 --> 00:42:35,913 Uh-oh. 946 00:42:35,914 --> 00:42:37,684 - Oh, holy sh... - Fuck. 947 00:42:48,492 --> 00:42:50,929 God of Thunder. 948 00:42:54,030 --> 00:42:55,498 How long was I asleep? 949 00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:56,967 Not all of you was asleep. 950 00:42:56,967 --> 00:42:58,903 Don't bother. 951 00:42:58,905 --> 00:43:00,838 They're very thorough. 952 00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:04,074 If you know where we are, start talking. 953 00:43:04,074 --> 00:43:05,679 You're in The Void. 954 00:43:05,679 --> 00:43:07,516 Think of it as purgatory. 955 00:43:07,516 --> 00:43:10,112 Reed called it a metaphysical junkyard. 956 00:43:10,114 --> 00:43:11,487 Where anything useless goes 957 00:43:11,487 --> 00:43:13,489 before it gets annihilated forever. 958 00:43:13,489 --> 00:43:16,625 And where the TVA sends people that don't play nice 959 00:43:16,626 --> 00:43:18,054 with the rest of the multiverse. 960 00:43:18,056 --> 00:43:19,461 - Like you? - And you. 961 00:43:19,463 --> 00:43:22,059 What does the annihilating? 962 00:43:22,059 --> 00:43:22,630 Alioth. 963 00:43:22,630 --> 00:43:24,329 Alioth is in this thing? 964 00:43:24,331 --> 00:43:26,028 From Loki, Season 1, Episode 5? 965 00:43:26,030 --> 00:43:29,197 Everyone here is on the run from Alioth. 966 00:43:29,199 --> 00:43:30,737 Most don't make it. 967 00:43:30,737 --> 00:43:32,507 There's a resistance, though. 968 00:43:32,509 --> 00:43:35,610 Other people like us that managed to survive. 969 00:43:35,612 --> 00:43:37,760 They're hidin' out in the borderlands, 970 00:43:37,762 --> 00:43:39,911 trying to find a way the fuck outta here. 971 00:43:39,913 --> 00:43:41,463 Then that's where we go. 972 00:43:41,463 --> 00:43:43,706 "We"? Us? A team? 973 00:43:43,708 --> 00:43:45,951 The answer is yes. Shake on it. 974 00:43:45,952 --> 00:43:46,719 Fuck! You nicked it. 975 00:43:46,721 --> 00:43:49,106 Just got the tip with your little steak knife. 976 00:43:49,108 --> 00:43:51,494 These "others" can help us get back to the TVA. 977 00:43:51,496 --> 00:43:53,112 Make 'em fix things. 978 00:43:54,471 --> 00:43:55,827 Something funny, bub? 979 00:43:55,829 --> 00:43:58,193 She might have somethin' to say about that. 980 00:43:58,195 --> 00:43:59,998 Who's "she"? 981 00:44:00,735 --> 00:44:01,668 In The Void, 982 00:44:01,670 --> 00:44:04,199 you're either food for Alioth 983 00:44:04,201 --> 00:44:06,036 or you work for her. 984 00:45:18,175 --> 00:45:20,527 Huh. Paul Rudd finally aged. 985 00:45:20,528 --> 00:45:22,755 Oh, you must be this year's Juggernaut. 986 00:45:22,757 --> 00:45:24,983 - Thank you. - I'd keep your voices down. 987 00:45:24,985 --> 00:45:26,523 She don't like the chatter. 988 00:45:26,525 --> 00:45:28,427 She's gonna love you. 989 00:45:43,474 --> 00:45:45,510 Is it... Is that Charles? 990 00:45:45,510 --> 00:45:47,940 Hey... Hey, Chuck! It's us! 991 00:45:47,942 --> 00:45:49,447 That's not Chuck. 992 00:45:49,449 --> 00:45:51,141 Ah, shit. 993 00:45:51,681 --> 00:45:52,713 Oh, ableism. Great. 994 00:45:52,715 --> 00:45:56,014 That's not gonna go over well with the woke mob. 995 00:45:56,016 --> 00:45:57,619 A Wolverine. 996 00:45:57,621 --> 00:46:00,987 I wondered when I'd get one of you. 997 00:46:00,987 --> 00:46:01,789 You're one of Xavier's. 998 00:46:01,789 --> 00:46:04,088 You-You know him? You know Chuck? 999 00:46:04,090 --> 00:46:05,260 Oh, I knew him. 1000 00:46:05,260 --> 00:46:06,431 We shared a womb. 1001 00:46:06,431 --> 00:46:09,094 Tried to strangle the sly little fellow 1002 00:46:09,094 --> 00:46:09,829 with my umbilical cord. 1003 00:46:09,831 --> 00:46:13,900 Amen. I've never loved roommates. Mine's blind. 1004 00:46:13,902 --> 00:46:15,737 Except she can see cocaine. 1005 00:46:15,739 --> 00:46:16,539 For some... reason. 1006 00:46:16,541 --> 00:46:20,512 You want to chime in, Your Majesty? I'm dying here. 1007 00:46:20,512 --> 00:46:21,105 Who are you? 1008 00:46:21,106 --> 00:46:23,574 Charles Xavier's twin, Cassandra Nova. 1009 00:46:23,576 --> 00:46:26,045 - Bullshit! - I was an anal birth. 1010 00:46:26,045 --> 00:46:28,485 Hmm. You two are cute. 1011 00:46:28,487 --> 00:46:31,050 I have a good feeling about this. 1012 00:46:33,052 --> 00:46:35,070 And I've been trying to catch 1013 00:46:35,070 --> 00:46:37,088 this little firefly for years. 1014 00:46:37,090 --> 00:46:38,155 Haven't I, Johnny? 1015 00:46:38,155 --> 00:46:41,697 Aw... You picked the wrong time to make new friends. 1016 00:46:41,699 --> 00:46:43,766 Oh, Johnny told us all about you. 1017 00:46:43,766 --> 00:46:45,833 - Maybe shut up now. - Yeah, maybe don't... 1018 00:46:45,835 --> 00:46:47,231 We're just talkin' here. 1019 00:46:47,231 --> 00:46:47,967 Yeah, Johnny told us 1020 00:46:47,967 --> 00:46:49,804 you're a psychotic megalomaniacal asshole. 1021 00:46:49,804 --> 00:46:54,909 His words, not mine. Hellbent on domination and pain. 1022 00:46:55,074 --> 00:46:56,844 You said all that about me? 1023 00:46:56,846 --> 00:46:57,844 No! No! I don't... 1024 00:46:57,846 --> 00:47:01,409 - I didn't say any of that! - Sticks and stones, Johnny! 1025 00:47:02,081 --> 00:47:03,949 Don't let her intimidate you. 1026 00:47:03,951 --> 00:47:05,820 It's like you said in the convoy. 1027 00:47:05,820 --> 00:47:07,690 This finger-lickin' dead-inside 1028 00:47:07,690 --> 00:47:10,693 pixie slab of third rate dime-store nut-milk 1029 00:47:10,695 --> 00:47:12,679 can eat your delicious cinnamon ring 1030 00:47:12,679 --> 00:47:14,639 and kick rocks all the way to bald hell. 1031 00:47:14,641 --> 00:47:16,599 Okay. I have never said any of those words 1032 00:47:16,601 --> 00:47:19,065 - in my entire life! - Ha! The modesty. 1033 00:47:19,065 --> 00:47:21,539 People think I'm a shit talker. 1034 00:47:21,541 --> 00:47:22,507 But this guy... 1035 00:47:22,507 --> 00:47:23,954 Next level. 1036 00:47:23,954 --> 00:47:25,400 What? This... I... We... 1037 00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,137 I don't even know what half of that means! 1038 00:47:27,139 --> 00:47:28,876 - This... I... - My hat's off to you, sir. 1039 00:47:28,878 --> 00:47:29,744 - Truly. - What? This... 1040 00:47:29,746 --> 00:47:32,143 I didn't... He's... That's... I... 1041 00:47:32,144 --> 00:47:33,407 I... I don't... 1042 00:47:38,380 --> 00:47:39,755 Not my favorite Chris. 1043 00:47:39,757 --> 00:47:40,987 You stupid piece of shit. 1044 00:47:40,987 --> 00:47:42,324 You just got him fucking killed! 1045 00:47:42,324 --> 00:47:43,659 Hey! We're all grieving! 1046 00:47:43,661 --> 00:47:46,730 PS, do you know what he was doing to the budget? 1047 00:47:49,094 --> 00:47:51,161 Alioth is hungry. 1048 00:47:51,163 --> 00:47:53,000 There's been some kind of mistake. 1049 00:47:53,001 --> 00:47:54,869 Big yellow is a back-up Anchor Being, 1050 00:47:54,869 --> 00:47:57,938 and I'm Marvel Jesus. MJ, if you're nasty. 1051 00:47:57,940 --> 00:47:58,773 This may be hard to hear, 1052 00:47:58,775 --> 00:48:00,375 but there's another British villain 1053 00:48:00,376 --> 00:48:01,976 who's gonna destroy my universe, 1054 00:48:01,976 --> 00:48:02,744 and I'm gonna stop him. 1055 00:48:02,746 --> 00:48:04,583 Oh, honey, you don't really strike me 1056 00:48:04,583 --> 00:48:06,947 as the world-saving type. 1057 00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:10,016 Did I hit a nerve? 1058 00:48:10,016 --> 00:48:12,920 I didn't want it to come to this. 1059 00:48:12,922 --> 00:48:13,623 Either you help us 1060 00:48:13,625 --> 00:48:15,405 or my friend here is gonna sing 1061 00:48:15,407 --> 00:48:17,188 the entire second act of Music Man 1062 00:48:17,190 --> 00:48:18,992 with zero warm-up. 1063 00:48:18,992 --> 00:48:20,025 Where'd you get the chair? 1064 00:48:20,027 --> 00:48:21,126 Well, once in a while, 1065 00:48:21,128 --> 00:48:23,525 I do get a Charles through here. 1066 00:48:23,525 --> 00:48:24,800 Never mine, though. 1067 00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,605 No. He didn't care to find me. 1068 00:48:27,606 --> 00:48:31,003 Gen Z and their trauma-bragging! 1069 00:48:31,005 --> 00:48:34,579 Can't you just stuff it down, turn it into accomplishment 1070 00:48:34,581 --> 00:48:36,344 or cancer like the rest of us? 1071 00:48:36,346 --> 00:48:38,110 But I'm not like the rest of you. 1072 00:48:38,112 --> 00:48:39,715 Except maybe the Wolverine. 1073 00:48:39,717 --> 00:48:42,851 Now, we could be truly terrifying together. 1074 00:48:42,853 --> 00:48:44,016 You're that scary, huh? 1075 00:48:44,018 --> 00:48:46,085 The TVA certainly thought so. 1076 00:48:46,085 --> 00:48:48,824 They sent me here before I could walk. 1077 00:48:48,826 --> 00:48:50,596 And you know, it's the best thing 1078 00:48:50,597 --> 00:48:52,630 that ever happened to me. 1079 00:48:52,632 --> 00:48:53,224 I love it here. 1080 00:48:53,224 --> 00:48:54,389 You live in a garbage dump. 1081 00:48:54,391 --> 00:48:58,164 I think we both know who lives in the garbage dump. 1082 00:48:58,164 --> 00:48:59,637 The Void is a paradise. 1083 00:48:59,637 --> 00:49:02,903 I can wield my power here without shame. 1084 00:49:02,905 --> 00:49:06,172 Unfortunately I had no Charles Xavier 1085 00:49:06,172 --> 00:49:08,173 to teach me temperance. 1086 00:49:08,175 --> 00:49:10,175 What about your Charles? 1087 00:49:10,177 --> 00:49:12,012 Did he protect you? 1088 00:49:12,012 --> 00:49:14,014 Did he make you feel safe? 1089 00:49:14,014 --> 00:49:16,583 We're mutants. We're never safe. 1090 00:49:23,860 --> 00:49:25,092 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1091 00:49:25,092 --> 00:49:26,577 I don't... I don't want the smoke. 1092 00:49:26,577 --> 00:49:28,237 I don't have any beef with you. 1093 00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:29,536 I just want to save my friends. 1094 00:49:29,536 --> 00:49:30,833 I just... I want to go home. 1095 00:49:30,833 --> 00:49:33,001 Well, the thing is, I could get you home. 1096 00:49:33,001 --> 00:49:35,469 - Good. - But I don't want to. 1097 00:49:35,471 --> 00:49:37,940 Not good. 1098 00:49:39,501 --> 00:49:41,601 What do you want, Wade Wilson? 1099 00:49:41,603 --> 00:49:44,748 Your... fingers are inside me, 1100 00:49:44,750 --> 00:49:45,507 but not in a good way. 1101 00:49:45,507 --> 00:49:48,851 My brother could enter one's mind with a thought. 1102 00:49:48,853 --> 00:49:51,018 I have to get my hands dirty. 1103 00:49:54,483 --> 00:49:56,320 I've got you. 1104 00:49:57,827 --> 00:50:00,061 I've got you... 1105 00:50:01,425 --> 00:50:03,702 What do you mean? 1106 00:50:04,097 --> 00:50:07,672 I can't... I can't reach you. You're not here. 1107 00:50:07,673 --> 00:50:08,706 I'm right here. 1108 00:50:08,706 --> 00:50:11,875 - No, you're not. I can't... - I'm right here. 1109 00:50:11,876 --> 00:50:15,108 Then show me. You got to do something. 1110 00:50:15,780 --> 00:50:16,538 Show you what? 1111 00:50:16,539 --> 00:50:21,059 Show me you care about something bigger than you. 1112 00:50:21,059 --> 00:50:25,581 Ever since they turned you down, you took a knee. 1113 00:50:25,581 --> 00:50:28,353 Baby, you never got back up. 1114 00:50:29,485 --> 00:50:31,586 I know you're going through something. 1115 00:50:31,588 --> 00:50:33,862 Let me go through it with you. 1116 00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:37,735 - Your crazy matches my crazy. - Your crazy matches my crazy. 1117 00:50:40,298 --> 00:50:42,251 Where'd you go? 1118 00:50:42,251 --> 00:50:44,204 Oh, my God. 1119 00:50:46,503 --> 00:50:48,208 You just say it. Okay? 1120 00:50:48,208 --> 00:50:49,911 Say, "I don't want you. 1121 00:50:49,913 --> 00:50:51,847 "I don't want to be with you." 1122 00:50:51,849 --> 00:50:53,608 Go ahead. Say it. Say... Say, "I don't..." 1123 00:50:53,610 --> 00:50:55,197 Say it. You don't wanna be with me. 1124 00:50:55,199 --> 00:50:56,788 Tell me that and I'll walk away. 1125 00:50:56,789 --> 00:50:57,677 Say, "I don't want you." 1126 00:51:04,257 --> 00:51:05,686 Fuck... 1127 00:51:05,686 --> 00:51:09,130 You'll never fucking matter. 1128 00:51:12,594 --> 00:51:13,661 What? 1129 00:51:13,661 --> 00:51:16,775 - You'll never fucking matter. - Fucking matter. 1130 00:51:22,340 --> 00:51:25,509 - You'll... - You'll... 1131 00:51:25,510 --> 00:51:27,092 - never... - never... 1132 00:51:27,094 --> 00:51:29,722 - fucking... - fucking... 1133 00:51:29,722 --> 00:51:32,351 - matter. - matter... 1134 00:51:33,418 --> 00:51:34,621 She never said that. 1135 00:51:34,623 --> 00:51:35,826 No. 1136 00:51:35,827 --> 00:51:38,192 But I bet she thought it. 1137 00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:41,012 You are so mean! 1138 00:51:41,014 --> 00:51:43,097 My brain could taste your fingers, 1139 00:51:43,099 --> 00:51:44,768 and they tasted like hate! 1140 00:51:44,769 --> 00:51:47,971 And where in God's name is the intimacy coordinator? 1141 00:51:47,972 --> 00:51:50,989 You're so lost, Mr. Wilson. 1142 00:51:50,990 --> 00:51:54,010 And long before you came here. 1143 00:51:54,735 --> 00:51:55,472 This is Baby Knife. 1144 00:51:55,472 --> 00:51:57,112 She's gonna fuck you in the face now. 1145 00:51:57,112 --> 00:51:57,880 If you want to kill me, 1146 00:51:57,882 --> 00:52:00,148 it's going to take more than a little blade. 1147 00:52:00,148 --> 00:52:01,675 How about six? 1148 00:52:01,677 --> 00:52:05,856 My boy's wicked strong. 1149 00:52:05,858 --> 00:52:07,583 That's my big boy. 1150 00:52:07,585 --> 00:52:09,255 Yes, you are. 1151 00:52:14,690 --> 00:52:15,998 Well, this has been fun. 1152 00:52:15,998 --> 00:52:18,594 But the big guy needs to eat, and the rent is due. 1153 00:52:22,467 --> 00:52:23,532 By the way, 1154 00:52:23,534 --> 00:52:25,041 you're the rent. 1155 00:52:43,652 --> 00:52:45,873 Come on! Fuck! 1156 00:52:45,875 --> 00:52:48,097 You comin' or what? 1157 00:52:48,097 --> 00:52:49,934 Coming! 1158 00:53:09,217 --> 00:53:09,985 What you thinkin' 'bout? 1159 00:53:09,987 --> 00:53:11,851 - Get the fuck off of me! - Shh, shh, shh. 1160 00:53:11,851 --> 00:53:13,715 - Almost done. - Almost done what? 1161 00:53:13,717 --> 00:53:15,927 Getting my knife out of your buttocks, 1162 00:53:15,927 --> 00:53:17,686 - pervert! - Aah! Fuck! 1163 00:53:17,686 --> 00:53:20,139 Get your mind out of my pants! 1164 00:53:20,139 --> 00:53:22,592 - I'm telling Blake. - New rules. 1165 00:53:22,594 --> 00:53:23,197 I talk now. 1166 00:53:23,197 --> 00:53:24,969 That's gonna be very hard on the audience. 1167 00:53:24,969 --> 00:53:26,635 Shut the fuck up! 1168 00:53:26,635 --> 00:53:28,300 Let me fuckin' think. 1169 00:53:28,302 --> 00:53:31,338 Now we gotta get back to Paradox, right? 1170 00:53:32,833 --> 00:53:33,603 Right? 1171 00:53:33,603 --> 00:53:36,507 Je m'excuse. Am I allowed to speak now or... 1172 00:53:36,509 --> 00:53:39,411 Just nod, asshole. 1173 00:53:40,643 --> 00:53:41,148 Right. 1174 00:53:41,150 --> 00:53:42,534 Then we find the others that poor kid, Johnny, 1175 00:53:42,536 --> 00:53:43,922 was talking about before you got him killed! 1176 00:53:43,922 --> 00:53:45,385 "Poor kid." He's, like, 50! 1177 00:53:45,385 --> 00:53:46,902 Yeah, if there's a chance they know 1178 00:53:46,903 --> 00:53:48,827 how to get out of here, we find 'em. 1179 00:53:48,829 --> 00:53:50,753 And make those TVA fuckers fix my shit 1180 00:53:50,753 --> 00:53:52,304 like you fucking promised! 1181 00:53:52,304 --> 00:53:53,855 I smell quest. 1182 00:53:56,561 --> 00:53:58,134 I smell food. 1183 00:53:59,860 --> 00:54:04,943 So what made you finally wear an honest-to-God costume? 1184 00:54:05,405 --> 00:54:07,438 Mine's red so they can't see me bleed. 1185 00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:10,574 But I could see how yellow would be useful too. 1186 00:54:10,576 --> 00:54:12,807 Have you been checked for ADHD? 1187 00:54:12,809 --> 00:54:13,775 Mm-mm. 1188 00:54:13,775 --> 00:54:15,710 But I've had several STDs, 1189 00:54:15,711 --> 00:54:18,451 which were probably caused by ADHD. 1190 00:54:18,452 --> 00:54:19,958 Fuck! 1191 00:54:20,090 --> 00:54:22,025 What are you looking for? 1192 00:54:22,027 --> 00:54:23,994 Oh. Thank fuck. 1193 00:54:23,994 --> 00:54:25,963 No, no, no, no, no. That's rubbing alcohol. 1194 00:54:25,965 --> 00:54:27,724 You don't want to drink... Oh, yeah. 1195 00:54:27,724 --> 00:54:29,858 There you go. Fuck that liver. 1196 00:54:30,693 --> 00:54:33,300 Good. Okay. 1197 00:54:33,664 --> 00:54:35,434 What the fuck are those? 1198 00:54:35,666 --> 00:54:36,137 Oh. 1199 00:54:36,139 --> 00:54:38,141 Back in civilian life, I wear a toupee, 1200 00:54:38,141 --> 00:54:40,175 but nobody knows. 1201 00:54:42,541 --> 00:54:44,675 Everybody knows. 1202 00:54:46,115 --> 00:54:47,478 Wanna talk about what's haunting you, 1203 00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:50,284 or should we wait for a third act flashback? 1204 00:54:50,286 --> 00:54:53,056 Ah... Go fuck yourself. 1205 00:54:55,784 --> 00:54:57,324 You know... 1206 00:54:57,853 --> 00:55:01,230 in my world, you're... 1207 00:55:01,757 --> 00:55:03,527 You're well regarded. 1208 00:55:03,528 --> 00:55:05,298 Yeah, well, not in mine. 1209 00:55:05,300 --> 00:55:07,697 They don't like me much in mine either. 1210 00:55:07,699 --> 00:55:08,632 You don't say. 1211 00:55:08,632 --> 00:55:11,702 I wanted to be something, you know. I... 1212 00:55:11,702 --> 00:55:13,605 Shit, I wanted to be an Avenger. 1213 00:55:13,606 --> 00:55:15,507 - Fuck the Avengers. - Yeah. 1214 00:55:15,507 --> 00:55:19,115 I didn't make the cut, though. Same with the X-Men... 1215 00:55:20,182 --> 00:55:21,050 When my girlfriend left me, 1216 00:55:21,052 --> 00:55:23,614 - and I just... - You had a girlfriend? 1217 00:55:23,615 --> 00:55:24,835 Yeah. 1218 00:55:24,836 --> 00:55:26,056 Vanessa. 1219 00:55:26,056 --> 00:55:28,422 When we met, she was a dancer. 1220 00:55:28,916 --> 00:55:30,786 We had a whole life. 1221 00:55:31,490 --> 00:55:32,820 It was good. 1222 00:55:32,822 --> 00:55:35,858 But, oh, boy, I just... Mwah. 1223 00:55:36,231 --> 00:55:38,728 Fucked that right up. 1224 00:55:39,036 --> 00:55:39,960 But you, 1225 00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:40,894 you were an X-Man. 1226 00:55:40,896 --> 00:55:44,041 Fuck that. You were the X-Man. You... 1227 00:55:45,208 --> 00:55:47,110 The Wolverine. 1228 00:55:48,639 --> 00:55:51,048 He was a hero in my world. 1229 00:55:52,248 --> 00:55:53,974 Yeah, well... 1230 00:55:54,447 --> 00:55:56,284 he ain't shit in mine. 1231 00:56:00,585 --> 00:56:04,326 You said, "Logan was a hero." What happened? 1232 00:56:04,820 --> 00:56:06,228 He died. 1233 00:56:06,492 --> 00:56:06,954 How? 1234 00:56:06,954 --> 00:56:09,891 Well, technically, you were chest-fucked by a tree, but, 1235 00:56:09,893 --> 00:56:11,795 really, you just ran out of batteries 1236 00:56:11,795 --> 00:56:13,951 - trying to save someone. - Who? 1237 00:56:13,952 --> 00:56:16,106 The shitheels that grew her in a lab 1238 00:56:16,108 --> 00:56:18,405 called her "X-23." But... 1239 00:56:18,538 --> 00:56:19,637 she was just a kid. 1240 00:56:19,637 --> 00:56:23,806 A younger, daintier, somehow meaner version of you. 1241 00:56:23,807 --> 00:56:25,775 You died trying to save her. 1242 00:56:25,777 --> 00:56:26,742 It was beautiful. 1243 00:56:26,744 --> 00:56:29,679 Look, mijo, I know you're hurtin'. 1244 00:56:29,681 --> 00:56:31,945 My blind, elderly, African-American roommate, 1245 00:56:31,947 --> 00:56:35,456 Blind Al, always says that pain teaches us who we are. 1246 00:56:35,456 --> 00:56:37,490 Sometimes we need to listen to that pain 1247 00:56:37,492 --> 00:56:38,391 instead of running from it. 1248 00:56:38,393 --> 00:56:39,755 - Holy shit. - Yeah, she's wise. 1249 00:56:39,757 --> 00:56:43,023 No, no, no. That's her name? You call her "Blind Al"? 1250 00:56:43,025 --> 00:56:44,728 Well, she's blind. 1251 00:56:54,936 --> 00:56:59,579 ♪ I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight ♪ 1252 00:56:59,579 --> 00:57:06,579 ♪ I've never seen you shine so bright, mm-hmm, hmm ♪ 1253 00:57:06,817 --> 00:57:11,425 ♪ The lady in red ♪ 1254 00:57:12,757 --> 00:57:16,661 ♪ Is dancing with me ♪ 1255 00:57:16,958 --> 00:57:18,927 ♪ Cheek to cheek ♪ 1256 00:57:18,927 --> 00:57:21,831 ♪ There's nobody here... ♪ 1257 00:57:21,833 --> 00:57:22,996 Look at you! 1258 00:57:22,998 --> 00:57:23,766 She's coming with us. 1259 00:57:23,768 --> 00:57:25,902 - No, she's not. Fuck no! - Oh, yes, she is. 1260 00:57:25,902 --> 00:57:27,067 - Oh, yes... - Sorry! 1261 00:57:27,068 --> 00:57:30,148 Sorry about that! 1262 00:57:30,148 --> 00:57:32,677 Come here, girl! 1263 00:57:32,679 --> 00:57:33,842 Who are you? 1264 00:57:33,844 --> 00:57:34,844 Oh, I'm Deadpool. 1265 00:57:34,844 --> 00:57:36,483 And I guess you're Deadpool too. 1266 00:57:36,483 --> 00:57:38,699 But in here, everybody calls me "Nicepool." 1267 00:57:38,701 --> 00:57:40,916 Oh, my goodness. Wait till you see Ladypool. 1268 00:57:40,918 --> 00:57:41,686 She is gorgeous. 1269 00:57:41,686 --> 00:57:44,492 She just had a baby too. And... 1270 00:57:44,492 --> 00:57:45,085 Can't even tell. 1271 00:57:45,085 --> 00:57:46,956 I don't think you're supposed to say that. 1272 00:57:46,956 --> 00:57:48,197 That's okay. 1273 00:57:48,199 --> 00:57:50,168 I identify as a feminist. 1274 00:57:50,168 --> 00:57:51,795 Right. 1275 00:57:52,731 --> 00:57:53,764 Are those gold-plated, 1276 00:57:53,764 --> 00:57:56,536 ...50 caliber Desert Eagle pistoleros? 1277 00:57:56,538 --> 00:57:57,306 'Course. 1278 00:57:57,306 --> 00:57:58,802 To match my ear huggie. 1279 00:57:58,804 --> 00:57:59,869 Can I have 'em? 1280 00:57:59,869 --> 00:58:01,905 Over my dead body. 1281 00:58:01,905 --> 00:58:02,673 You're fun. 1282 00:58:02,675 --> 00:58:05,842 And I guess you've already met Mary Puppins. 1283 00:58:05,844 --> 00:58:07,074 AKA Dogpool. 1284 00:58:07,074 --> 00:58:08,184 Careful where you put your hands. 1285 00:58:08,186 --> 00:58:11,583 She's ninety percent g-spot, and she'll let you know it. 1286 00:58:11,585 --> 00:58:14,983 You let this little flirt out of your sight for one second 1287 00:58:14,985 --> 00:58:17,018 and she starts shopping for a new papa. 1288 00:58:17,019 --> 00:58:19,052 If you can't be a responsible pet owner, 1289 00:58:19,054 --> 00:58:22,090 then maybe you don't deserve this little unicorn. 1290 00:58:22,090 --> 00:58:24,730 Guilty on all charges, Your Honor. 1291 00:58:24,731 --> 00:58:25,846 Shan't happen again. 1292 00:58:25,847 --> 00:58:26,961 Why are you so nice? 1293 00:58:26,963 --> 00:58:28,750 Oh, it costs nothing to be kind. 1294 00:58:28,751 --> 00:58:30,538 Shutting the fuck up is also free. 1295 00:58:30,539 --> 00:58:32,242 - Caliente. - This is Logan. 1296 00:58:32,244 --> 00:58:32,967 He's usually shirtless, 1297 00:58:32,969 --> 00:58:35,972 but he's let himself go since the divorce. 1298 00:58:36,610 --> 00:58:38,876 Where's your mask? 1299 00:58:40,844 --> 00:58:41,679 Come on, guys. 1300 00:58:43,452 --> 00:58:44,077 Ugh, this guy. 1301 00:58:44,079 --> 00:58:45,882 We're looking for a group of survivors. 1302 00:58:45,884 --> 00:58:46,717 Oh, they're out there. 1303 00:58:46,719 --> 00:58:48,686 Yeah, but merc to merc, you better hope 1304 00:58:48,688 --> 00:58:50,657 that you don't run into the Deadpool corps. 1305 00:58:50,657 --> 00:58:51,393 Yeah, they're crazy. 1306 00:58:51,393 --> 00:58:53,054 They will chop you up into a thousand pieces 1307 00:58:53,056 --> 00:58:54,088 and hide you all over The Void. 1308 00:58:54,088 --> 00:58:56,123 If they could only process their childhood trauma, 1309 00:58:56,125 --> 00:58:57,960 they'd go on one heck of a healing journey. 1310 00:58:57,961 --> 00:58:59,797 Look, we're headed for the borderlands. 1311 00:58:59,798 --> 00:59:00,666 You know where it is? 1312 00:59:00,666 --> 00:59:02,954 Yeah, that... that's 12 klicks due west. 1313 00:59:02,954 --> 00:59:05,242 I can lend you my ride, if you like. 1314 00:59:05,244 --> 00:59:08,003 It would be my honor. 1315 00:59:10,445 --> 00:59:12,777 Oh, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. 1316 00:59:12,778 --> 00:59:15,043 Uh-uh. What the... No! No! 1317 00:59:15,045 --> 00:59:16,077 Just get in the car. 1318 00:59:16,079 --> 00:59:17,110 This isn't a car. 1319 00:59:17,112 --> 00:59:19,431 This is a Honda fuckin' Odyssey. 1320 00:59:19,432 --> 00:59:21,753 Throttle response sucks a cock. 1321 00:59:21,755 --> 00:59:22,721 Dated infotainment system. 1322 00:59:22,722 --> 00:59:24,822 When Honda saw that untreated chlamydia 1323 00:59:24,824 --> 00:59:25,592 was makin' a comeback, 1324 00:59:25,592 --> 00:59:28,793 they invented the Honda Odyssey to compete. 1325 00:59:28,795 --> 00:59:31,597 Get in the fucking car. 1326 00:59:31,599 --> 00:59:33,864 She'll get you there safe and sound. 1327 00:59:33,865 --> 00:59:35,568 Old Betsy always does. 1328 00:59:35,570 --> 00:59:38,507 You're gonna have to give me my dog back, though. 1329 00:59:38,507 --> 00:59:39,639 I know. Listen. 1330 00:59:39,639 --> 00:59:40,739 Yes, child. 1331 00:59:40,739 --> 00:59:43,478 If you ever wanna give her up, or if she needs a new home, 1332 00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:45,876 or if something should happen to you, 1333 00:59:45,878 --> 00:59:46,612 I'd love to be her papa. 1334 00:59:46,614 --> 00:59:49,418 What would ever happen to me? 1335 00:59:49,420 --> 00:59:51,322 Lots of stuff. 1336 00:59:54,148 --> 00:59:55,434 - Jesus. - No! 1337 00:59:55,436 --> 00:59:56,722 We're running away. 1338 00:59:56,722 --> 00:59:58,922 - Give me that. - The corn was too dense, girl! 1339 00:59:58,923 --> 00:59:59,989 - There. - Come here! 1340 00:59:59,989 --> 01:00:02,431 - Fuck! - Hello! 1341 01:00:03,532 --> 01:00:04,367 Bye. 1342 01:00:08,163 --> 01:00:12,001 ♪ It's a damn cold night ♪ 1343 01:00:12,001 --> 01:00:15,889 ♪ Trying to figure out this life ♪ 1344 01:00:15,891 --> 01:00:19,778 ♪ Won't you take me by the hand? ♪ 1345 01:00:19,780 --> 01:00:21,813 ♪ Take me somewhere new ♪ 1346 01:00:21,813 --> 01:00:26,918 ♪ I don't know who you are But I ♪ 1347 01:00:26,918 --> 01:00:30,117 ♪ I'm with you... ♪ 1348 01:00:30,119 --> 01:00:32,088 Okay, I'm just gonna ask... 1349 01:00:32,088 --> 01:00:32,956 What's with the suit? 1350 01:00:32,956 --> 01:00:34,760 First thing I did when I flamed out, 1351 01:00:34,762 --> 01:00:35,811 - I took mine off. - Drop it. 1352 01:00:35,811 --> 01:00:36,860 It's not that ugly. 1353 01:00:36,862 --> 01:00:38,929 - Stop talking about my suit. - Did you make it yourself? 1354 01:00:38,931 --> 01:00:39,864 - Been there. - Quit. Now. 1355 01:00:39,864 --> 01:00:43,132 The X-Men make you wear it? Those sons of fuckin' bitches. 1356 01:00:43,132 --> 01:00:44,737 They are not your friends, I'll tell you that. 1357 01:00:44,737 --> 01:00:47,476 Friends don't let friends leave the house lookin' like 1358 01:00:47,478 --> 01:00:49,643 they fight crime for the Los Angeles Rams. 1359 01:00:49,644 --> 01:00:50,577 Shut the fuck up about this, or... 1360 01:00:50,579 --> 01:00:52,943 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch your frown lines, angel baby. 1361 01:00:52,945 --> 01:00:54,043 I'm just trying to bond a little bit. 1362 01:00:54,043 --> 01:00:56,452 Yeah, well, then talk about somethin' else. 1363 01:00:56,454 --> 01:00:57,882 Fine. 1364 01:01:00,655 --> 01:01:02,954 Pshew. Pshew, pshew. 1365 01:01:02,954 --> 01:01:03,887 Pshew! 1366 01:01:03,889 --> 01:01:05,956 - Stop it. - Pshew. 1367 01:01:05,956 --> 01:01:07,760 If they can fix your world, what's the first thing 1368 01:01:07,762 --> 01:01:09,092 you're gonna do when you get out of here? 1369 01:01:09,092 --> 01:01:10,697 Get some rubbing alcohol shots, 1370 01:01:10,699 --> 01:01:11,994 maybe a wiper fluid chaser? 1371 01:01:11,996 --> 01:01:13,965 - What did you say? - I said when you get back, 1372 01:01:13,965 --> 01:01:15,603 what's the first thing you're gonna do? 1373 01:01:15,605 --> 01:01:17,836 No, no, no. Before that. 1374 01:01:18,001 --> 01:01:20,773 If... they can fix your world? 1375 01:01:24,007 --> 01:01:26,009 What do you mean, "if"? 1376 01:01:26,010 --> 01:01:26,976 - I mean... - You lied to me. 1377 01:01:26,978 --> 01:01:27,945 You don't have a fucking clue 1378 01:01:27,945 --> 01:01:30,244 if they can help me fix things, do you? 1379 01:01:30,246 --> 01:01:31,684 No. I mean... Ow! 1380 01:01:31,686 --> 01:01:33,983 Fuck! Fuck! I didn't lie! 1381 01:01:33,985 --> 01:01:38,153 - You lied! - No! I made an educated wish! 1382 01:01:39,188 --> 01:01:41,322 Because I need you. 1383 01:01:41,465 --> 01:01:44,961 This. This is why. Right here. 1384 01:01:44,963 --> 01:01:47,266 'Cause if we don't do something, they die. 1385 01:01:47,268 --> 01:01:49,572 I don't know anything about saving worlds. 1386 01:01:49,572 --> 01:01:50,605 And why would I even care? 1387 01:01:50,606 --> 01:01:54,708 Because my entire world is right here in this picture. 1388 01:01:54,710 --> 01:01:56,105 It's only nine people, 1389 01:01:56,106 --> 01:01:59,382 and I have no idea how to save it alone. 1390 01:01:59,384 --> 01:02:02,079 I know how to fuck people up for money. But you, 1391 01:02:02,079 --> 01:02:04,719 you know how to save 'em! 1392 01:02:04,851 --> 01:02:05,934 At least the other Wolverine did. 1393 01:02:07,018 --> 01:02:10,460 Fuck! I guess I'm stuck with the worst one. 1394 01:02:10,461 --> 01:02:12,527 Did you say you made 1395 01:02:12,528 --> 01:02:15,563 an educated fucking wish? 1396 01:02:15,565 --> 01:02:17,780 They call me "The Merc with the Mouth." 1397 01:02:17,782 --> 01:02:20,391 They don't call me "Truthful Timmy, 1398 01:02:20,391 --> 01:02:23,001 "the Blowjob Queen of Saskatoon." 1399 01:02:26,135 --> 01:02:27,740 One more word. 1400 01:02:27,742 --> 01:02:31,778 Please give me one. 1401 01:02:33,550 --> 01:02:35,297 Gubernatorial. 1402 01:02:35,298 --> 01:02:37,047 Oh, fuck! 1403 01:02:37,487 --> 01:02:40,083 You know what? You're a fucking joke. 1404 01:02:40,688 --> 01:02:42,018 No wonder the Avengers didn't take you. 1405 01:02:42,019 --> 01:02:45,561 Or the X-Men. And they'll take fucking anyone. 1406 01:02:45,563 --> 01:02:46,528 I mean, you are 1407 01:02:46,530 --> 01:02:51,128 a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. 1408 01:02:51,128 --> 01:02:53,063 I have never met 1409 01:02:53,065 --> 01:02:53,766 a sadder, 1410 01:02:53,768 --> 01:02:56,869 more attention-starved, jabbering little prick 1411 01:02:56,871 --> 01:02:57,704 in my entire life. 1412 01:02:57,706 --> 01:02:59,972 And that says a lot, 'cause I've been alive 1413 01:02:59,972 --> 01:03:03,041 for more than 200 fuckin' years, 1414 01:03:03,041 --> 01:03:03,876 and I'll tell ya, 1415 01:03:03,876 --> 01:03:05,945 that bald chick was right about one thing. 1416 01:03:05,945 --> 01:03:08,375 You will never save the world! 1417 01:03:08,376 --> 01:03:11,521 You couldn't even save a relationship 1418 01:03:11,523 --> 01:03:12,753 with a goddamn stripper! 1419 01:03:12,753 --> 01:03:15,871 And motherfucker, I wish I could say you'd die alone, 1420 01:03:15,873 --> 01:03:18,990 but it's one of God's best jokes that you can't die, 1421 01:03:18,992 --> 01:03:21,389 except that's on all of us! 1422 01:03:24,501 --> 01:03:27,230 Oh, you got nothing to say, Mouth? 1423 01:03:35,612 --> 01:03:37,943 I'm gonna fight you now. 1424 01:03:39,550 --> 01:03:41,849 Oh, are you? 1425 01:03:50,759 --> 01:03:53,387 Mm. Not talkin' now, are ya? 1426 01:03:53,389 --> 01:03:55,630 ♪ And I'm losing control ♪ 1427 01:03:55,632 --> 01:03:59,998 ♪ 'Cause the power you're supplying ♪ 1428 01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:02,199 Oh, you dirty bitch. 1429 01:04:04,773 --> 01:04:07,467 ♪ You better shape up ♪ 1430 01:04:07,469 --> 01:04:09,612 ♪ 'Cause I need a man ♪ 1431 01:04:10,778 --> 01:04:14,012 ♪ And my heart is set on you ♪ 1432 01:04:14,014 --> 01:04:16,400 ♪ You better shape up ♪ 1433 01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:18,786 Whoo! 1434 01:04:19,447 --> 01:04:21,623 ♪ To my heart, I must be true ♪ 1435 01:04:21,625 --> 01:04:25,760 ♪ Nothing left, nothing left for me to do ♪ 1436 01:04:25,762 --> 01:04:28,532 ♪ You're the one that I want ♪ 1437 01:04:28,534 --> 01:04:30,748 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪ 1438 01:04:30,750 --> 01:04:32,423 ♪ The one that I want ♪ 1439 01:04:32,425 --> 01:04:34,097 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪ 1440 01:04:34,099 --> 01:04:36,134 No, no, no! 1441 01:04:37,068 --> 01:04:40,539 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 1442 01:04:40,539 --> 01:04:44,010 ♪ The one I need Oh, yes, indeed... ♪ 1443 01:04:54,481 --> 01:04:56,891 Baby Knife! 1444 01:04:58,793 --> 01:05:02,423 I take it all back. The Honda Odyssey fucks hard. 1445 01:05:02,425 --> 01:05:03,797 Too bad you don't, needle dick. 1446 01:05:03,798 --> 01:05:05,833 Oh, we're just gettin' started, bub. 1447 01:05:07,869 --> 01:05:09,853 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪ 1448 01:05:09,855 --> 01:05:11,838 Oh, you... Fuck! 1449 01:05:11,840 --> 01:05:13,610 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 1450 01:05:13,612 --> 01:05:15,976 ♪ The one I need ♪ 1451 01:05:15,976 --> 01:05:18,746 ♪ Oh, yes, indeed ♪ 1452 01:05:18,748 --> 01:05:20,585 ♪ You're the one that I want ♪ 1453 01:06:04,056 --> 01:06:05,893 Thor! 1454 01:06:08,126 --> 01:06:08,896 Where are we? 1455 01:06:08,896 --> 01:06:11,965 No clue, but... I like it here. 1456 01:06:19,567 --> 01:06:21,943 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1457 01:07:10,927 --> 01:07:12,123 Okay. 1458 01:07:12,125 --> 01:07:16,327 Look at you... all. You must be the others. 1459 01:07:16,458 --> 01:07:17,228 Terrific. 1460 01:07:17,228 --> 01:07:19,313 So just to refresh, you are 1461 01:07:19,313 --> 01:07:21,396 - Wonder... - Elektra. 1462 01:07:21,398 --> 01:07:24,268 Elektra? Yes. Who could forget? 1463 01:07:24,268 --> 01:07:27,139 And you. I was not expecting to see you here. 1464 01:07:27,141 --> 01:07:29,043 I thought you were, you know, 1465 01:07:29,043 --> 01:07:31,242 retired. 1466 01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:32,947 Retarded? 1467 01:07:33,641 --> 01:07:34,541 "Retired." 1468 01:07:34,543 --> 01:07:35,443 I'm already in The Void. 1469 01:07:35,445 --> 01:07:36,577 I'm not trying to get canceled again. 1470 01:07:36,577 --> 01:07:39,724 - I don't like you. - You never did. 1471 01:07:40,086 --> 01:07:42,925 And who's this succulent reminder 1472 01:07:42,925 --> 01:07:44,652 of my own inadequacies? 1473 01:07:44,652 --> 01:07:45,519 Look at you. 1474 01:07:45,521 --> 01:07:48,425 You look like the superhero version of Hawkeye. 1475 01:07:48,425 --> 01:07:51,967 The name's Remy LeBeau, Le Diable Blanc. 1476 01:07:51,967 --> 01:07:53,032 But you can call me the Gambit. 1477 01:07:53,034 --> 01:07:55,663 It's been a while since I've seen Sling Blade. 1478 01:07:55,664 --> 01:07:57,235 Hit me again. 1479 01:07:57,235 --> 01:07:58,038 They call me the Gambit. 1480 01:07:58,039 --> 01:07:59,501 Do they? Are you sure you didn't 1481 01:07:59,503 --> 01:08:01,306 just really, really want them to, 1482 01:08:01,306 --> 01:08:03,110 but it never quite worked out? 1483 01:08:04,639 --> 01:08:08,114 You know, we never had a Wolverine up in here. 1484 01:08:08,115 --> 01:08:08,884 But I can tell you now, 1485 01:08:08,885 --> 01:08:10,699 it's just a common courtesy to ask 1486 01:08:10,699 --> 01:08:12,514 before you drink up all of my liquor. 1487 01:08:12,514 --> 01:08:15,088 Well, it's a good thing I don't give a fuck. 1488 01:08:18,796 --> 01:08:20,225 Fuck. 1489 01:08:21,457 --> 01:08:24,328 So embarrassing. 1490 01:08:24,835 --> 01:08:25,493 Boo, boo, boo. 1491 01:08:25,494 --> 01:08:26,649 Well, now that that's settled, look, 1492 01:08:26,649 --> 01:08:27,804 we came a long way to find you three. 1493 01:08:27,805 --> 01:08:30,070 - There's four of us. - There's four... 1494 01:08:30,072 --> 01:08:31,698 Hey, wait. Is it Magneto? 1495 01:08:31,698 --> 01:08:34,009 Dear sweet God in heaven, let it be Magneto, 1496 01:08:34,010 --> 01:08:35,074 - because with him... - He's dead. 1497 01:08:35,076 --> 01:08:36,944 Fuck! Now Disney gets cheap? 1498 01:08:36,945 --> 01:08:38,997 It's like Pinocchio jammed his face in my ass 1499 01:08:38,997 --> 01:08:41,337 - and started lying like crazy. - Ooh, you nasty! 1500 01:08:41,337 --> 01:08:44,024 Mon petit rouge. Laissez les bons temps rouler, huh? 1501 01:08:44,025 --> 01:08:46,713 Not a single word. What do you do exactly? 1502 01:08:46,715 --> 01:08:49,220 Charge the playing cards and make 'em go boom! 1503 01:08:49,221 --> 01:08:51,862 Your power's close-up magic. That's good. 1504 01:08:51,863 --> 01:08:53,797 We're not totally fucked at all. 1505 01:08:53,798 --> 01:08:55,463 So who brought us here? 1506 01:08:55,465 --> 01:08:57,131 That would be me. 1507 01:09:06,734 --> 01:09:08,670 Don't make me regret it. 1508 01:09:09,011 --> 01:09:12,817 Holy shit. Logan. That's her. That's X-23. 1509 01:09:12,818 --> 01:09:15,380 She's the one I told you about. 1510 01:09:18,646 --> 01:09:21,188 Hey, how did you all get stuck in The Void? 1511 01:09:21,189 --> 01:09:23,057 There was a knock at the door. 1512 01:09:23,059 --> 01:09:24,421 - TVA sent me here. - Me, too. 1513 01:09:24,422 --> 01:09:25,784 Well, maybe I was born here. 1514 01:09:25,786 --> 01:09:28,139 It's... It's hard to know for sure. 1515 01:09:28,140 --> 01:09:30,493 TVA decided our universe was dying. 1516 01:09:30,493 --> 01:09:33,837 And I never even got a chance to fight for it. 1517 01:09:35,399 --> 01:09:37,698 People like us don't go quietly. 1518 01:09:37,699 --> 01:09:40,052 TVA knows that, so they took us out. 1519 01:09:40,054 --> 01:09:42,407 The answer is yes. I'm in. 1520 01:09:42,408 --> 01:09:44,176 - In what? - A team. 1521 01:09:44,177 --> 01:09:45,992 Me, you, you, and me. All of us together. 1522 01:09:45,993 --> 01:09:47,884 Let's get the fuck out of this place. 1523 01:09:47,885 --> 01:09:49,777 Don't listen to him. He's a fucking liar! 1524 01:09:49,778 --> 01:09:51,746 It was an educated wish! 1525 01:09:51,747 --> 01:09:54,188 - Ha! - Look. 1526 01:09:54,551 --> 01:09:56,485 We've been inside Cassandra's lair. 1527 01:09:56,487 --> 01:09:59,094 The only way out of The Void is through her. 1528 01:09:59,095 --> 01:10:01,293 She can get us home. She told us. 1529 01:10:01,295 --> 01:10:03,493 Wait a minute, you've been inside? 1530 01:10:03,493 --> 01:10:05,131 - And you made it out alive? - Bullshit. 1531 01:10:05,132 --> 01:10:07,865 - Nobody's ever done that. - We did. 1532 01:10:07,867 --> 01:10:10,600 Every time one of us has gone up against her, 1533 01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:11,171 they die. 1534 01:10:11,171 --> 01:10:13,877 The Punisher, the Quicksilver, the Daredevil. 1535 01:10:13,878 --> 01:10:15,962 Daredevil? I'm so sorry. 1536 01:10:15,962 --> 01:10:18,046 - It's fine. - Okay. 1537 01:10:18,838 --> 01:10:22,546 Even that sweet, baby angel, Johnny Storm. 1538 01:10:22,546 --> 01:10:24,152 He up and gone missing like, 1539 01:10:24,153 --> 01:10:25,954 what, two days ago? 1540 01:10:25,956 --> 01:10:27,814 Ugh. That's so sad. 1541 01:10:27,814 --> 01:10:31,225 Wherever this Johnny fella is, I'm sure he's thriving. 1542 01:10:31,962 --> 01:10:34,788 Look, there's... there's strength in numbers. 1543 01:10:34,789 --> 01:10:35,458 All right? Us... 1544 01:10:35,460 --> 01:10:36,525 plus, you guys. We can put Cassandra 1545 01:10:36,527 --> 01:10:39,002 over our knee and force her to let us out of The Void. 1546 01:10:39,002 --> 01:10:40,502 I know what it means to feel self-doubt. 1547 01:10:40,503 --> 01:10:42,003 - I don't feel that at all. - I'm good. 1548 01:10:42,005 --> 01:10:44,403 Gnawing at your gut like a coked-up tapeworm. 1549 01:10:44,404 --> 01:10:46,074 It's like you're holding up a mirror to my soul. 1550 01:10:46,076 --> 01:10:47,944 You guys may not have been able 1551 01:10:47,945 --> 01:10:49,775 to save your universes. 1552 01:10:49,777 --> 01:10:51,606 But you can avenge them. 1553 01:10:51,608 --> 01:10:53,213 It's what Johnny would have wanted. 1554 01:10:53,215 --> 01:10:56,921 Wait. You knew Johnny? 1555 01:10:57,052 --> 01:10:57,987 Oh, yeah. 1556 01:10:57,988 --> 01:10:59,614 Dickhead here talked him into a team-up, 1557 01:10:59,615 --> 01:11:02,453 and Johnny came down with a little case of the deads. 1558 01:11:02,454 --> 01:11:03,685 No, no, no. We don't know that. 1559 01:11:03,685 --> 01:11:06,270 It was just a flesh wound. He may have survived. 1560 01:11:06,270 --> 01:11:08,855 If he survived that, he is prayin' for death. 1561 01:11:08,856 --> 01:11:10,895 Thank you, Doctor Wolverine! 1562 01:11:10,896 --> 01:11:12,936 - Spill it! - What'd you do to Johnny, huh? 1563 01:11:12,938 --> 01:11:14,002 Talk or I'm gonna start dealin'. 1564 01:11:14,003 --> 01:11:16,731 Okay. Okay. Hey, hey, hey. 1565 01:11:16,733 --> 01:11:17,302 Look. 1566 01:11:17,304 --> 01:11:19,702 He ran his fat-ass mouth about Cassandra. 1567 01:11:19,703 --> 01:11:21,076 Then she zip-zapped his skin, 1568 01:11:21,077 --> 01:11:23,045 leaving his organs to splash crudely onto the ground 1569 01:11:23,046 --> 01:11:26,676 while the soil greedily drank his blood. It was horrible. 1570 01:11:26,676 --> 01:11:27,807 He was like a brother to me. 1571 01:11:27,809 --> 01:11:31,350 Look, he died before he could make a difference. But... 1572 01:11:31,351 --> 01:11:32,814 Look, maybe you couldn't 1573 01:11:32,814 --> 01:11:33,957 save your worlds, but... 1574 01:11:33,957 --> 01:11:36,552 but Jesus Christ, you can save mine! 1575 01:11:36,554 --> 01:11:38,819 I don't give a shit about your world, but 1576 01:11:38,819 --> 01:11:42,131 if these two made it out of there alive, maybe together, 1577 01:11:42,131 --> 01:11:43,823 we can get back in and take her down. 1578 01:11:43,824 --> 01:11:46,497 Where I come from, we call that suicide, Chere. 1579 01:11:46,497 --> 01:11:49,171 If we can block her psychic powers, 1580 01:11:49,171 --> 01:11:51,238 we can get a leg up. I know it. 1581 01:11:51,239 --> 01:11:52,975 Now, I know Magneto's dead. 1582 01:11:52,976 --> 01:11:55,373 But I'd venture to guess that his helmet is lying 1583 01:11:55,375 --> 01:11:57,673 - around here somewhere... - Cassandra melted the helmet. 1584 01:11:57,675 --> 01:11:58,983 - Fuck! - After she killed him. 1585 01:11:58,984 --> 01:12:00,698 - Fuck! - She don't play. 1586 01:12:00,699 --> 01:12:02,287 She knows that helmet was the only way 1587 01:12:02,288 --> 01:12:03,877 to protect anyone from her powers. 1588 01:12:03,877 --> 01:12:06,220 The only other helmet that strong is Juggernaut's, 1589 01:12:06,221 --> 01:12:07,088 but he works for Cassandra. 1590 01:12:07,090 --> 01:12:08,453 Juggernaut's helmet. That's it. 1591 01:12:08,453 --> 01:12:10,390 Yeah, and we done be knowing that lid ain't comin' off 1592 01:12:10,390 --> 01:12:11,996 without that dome gonna come off wit'it. 1593 01:12:11,997 --> 01:12:13,492 I'm so sorry, beautiful. 1594 01:12:13,493 --> 01:12:14,327 I want this to be gentle. 1595 01:12:14,328 --> 01:12:16,197 Who is your dialect coach? The Minions? 1596 01:12:16,198 --> 01:12:20,729 I feel like we are missing critical exposition here. 1597 01:12:20,730 --> 01:12:23,985 I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of hiding. 1598 01:12:23,987 --> 01:12:27,242 Let's face it, our worlds forgot about us. 1599 01:12:27,243 --> 01:12:29,177 Or never learned about us. 1600 01:12:29,179 --> 01:12:30,596 The heroes we were. 1601 01:12:30,597 --> 01:12:31,889 Lives we saved. 1602 01:12:31,890 --> 01:12:33,180 Or wanted to save. 1603 01:12:33,181 --> 01:12:35,579 Maybe these two are our chance. 1604 01:12:36,779 --> 01:12:38,515 To be remembered. 1605 01:12:38,516 --> 01:12:40,255 The way we deserve. 1606 01:12:40,849 --> 01:12:41,981 Yes. 1607 01:12:41,983 --> 01:12:43,587 An ending. 1608 01:12:43,587 --> 01:12:44,886 - Legacy. - Yes! 1609 01:12:44,886 --> 01:12:46,095 Yes! Let this man cook. 1610 01:12:46,095 --> 01:12:47,943 This is what I'm talking about. 1611 01:12:47,944 --> 01:12:49,792 Big slow-motion fights, sad music. 1612 01:12:49,792 --> 01:12:50,659 Everybody working together. 1613 01:12:50,661 --> 01:12:52,695 Who knows if you live or die? That sorta thing. 1614 01:12:52,697 --> 01:12:55,137 - Who's ready? - I was born ready. 1615 01:12:55,139 --> 01:12:56,188 Yes! Gambit? 1616 01:12:56,189 --> 01:12:57,238 I ain't know my daddy, 1617 01:12:57,238 --> 01:12:59,003 but I'm sure I shot out of his dick ready. 1618 01:12:59,005 --> 01:13:00,769 Jesus Christ, that is graphic. 1619 01:13:00,770 --> 01:13:02,738 Yeah. He was layin' them buttery nuts all up in my mama 1620 01:13:02,739 --> 01:13:04,840 and I shot out there and I said, "What's up, Doc?" 1621 01:13:04,841 --> 01:13:07,743 Johnny must have loved you. 1622 01:13:07,744 --> 01:13:10,185 X-23, what's it gonna be? 1623 01:13:10,186 --> 01:13:10,877 The name's Laura. 1624 01:13:10,878 --> 01:13:14,091 - Let's fucking go. - Let's fucking go! 1625 01:13:14,091 --> 01:13:15,189 It's on like chicken and corn. 1626 01:13:15,190 --> 01:13:17,060 - Yeah! - We're doing this. 1627 01:13:17,061 --> 01:13:17,819 You're all fuckin' dead. 1628 01:13:17,819 --> 01:13:21,163 My God! Read the room. 1629 01:13:30,601 --> 01:13:35,145 Hey, hey. I'm not lookin' for company. Get out of here. 1630 01:13:36,608 --> 01:13:38,059 You remind me of him. 1631 01:13:38,060 --> 01:13:39,511 Angry. Drunk. Mean... 1632 01:13:39,511 --> 01:13:42,845 - Sounds like a great guy... - Wasn't finished. 1633 01:13:43,648 --> 01:13:46,255 Showed up when it mattered the most. 1634 01:13:47,850 --> 01:13:50,159 Couldn't help it. 1635 01:13:52,657 --> 01:13:54,823 You might not know it, but... 1636 01:13:54,956 --> 01:13:56,694 you're a good man, Logan. 1637 01:13:58,167 --> 01:14:00,235 You might not know it, but apparently, 1638 01:14:00,237 --> 01:14:02,304 I'm the worst Logan. 1639 01:14:03,140 --> 01:14:06,033 I got to have a life because of you. 1640 01:14:08,002 --> 01:14:10,675 I got to grow up because of you. 1641 01:14:12,038 --> 01:14:13,115 A lot of kids did. 1642 01:14:13,117 --> 01:14:16,384 A lot of kids didn't grow up because of me. 1643 01:14:17,780 --> 01:14:20,189 Trust me, kid, I'm no hero. 1644 01:14:20,751 --> 01:14:22,719 That suit says different. 1645 01:14:22,720 --> 01:14:25,756 - Yeah. Do you like it? - Mm. 1646 01:14:26,625 --> 01:14:29,331 Scott used to beg me to wear it. 1647 01:14:30,827 --> 01:14:34,203 So did Jean, Storm, Beast. 1648 01:14:35,733 --> 01:14:36,963 All of them. 1649 01:14:36,965 --> 01:14:41,188 They wanted me to be part of the team, but I wouldn't. 1650 01:14:41,189 --> 01:14:45,412 Told 'em they all look fucking ridiculous. I mean... 1651 01:14:45,940 --> 01:14:49,978 I couldn't have 'em thinkin' I wanted to be there. 1652 01:14:54,454 --> 01:14:57,083 And then one day, while I was off on my own, 1653 01:14:57,085 --> 01:14:58,886 the humans came... 1654 01:14:58,887 --> 01:15:00,988 and went mutant hunting. 1655 01:15:01,560 --> 01:15:03,110 I can guess the rest. 1656 01:15:03,112 --> 01:15:04,662 No, no, let me... 1657 01:15:05,234 --> 01:15:07,094 Let me say it. I... 1658 01:15:09,063 --> 01:15:10,899 I need to say it. 1659 01:15:12,099 --> 01:15:15,542 By the time I stumbled home shitfaced from the bar, 1660 01:15:15,542 --> 01:15:17,378 it was too late. 1661 01:15:20,140 --> 01:15:22,845 They were dead. Every... 1662 01:15:27,587 --> 01:15:32,086 This suit's all I got to remind me of who they were. 1663 01:15:33,560 --> 01:15:35,122 And what I did. 1664 01:15:47,002 --> 01:15:49,905 We're headed to Cassandra's at sunup. 1665 01:15:50,037 --> 01:15:52,743 Have fun. Not my fight. 1666 01:15:54,877 --> 01:15:57,682 We won't pull this off without you. 1667 01:16:03,149 --> 01:16:07,957 Hey. Whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy. 1668 01:16:09,893 --> 01:16:12,400 You were always the wrong guy. 1669 01:16:37,690 --> 01:16:38,184 What? 1670 01:16:38,185 --> 01:16:40,020 Alioth didn't get them. 1671 01:16:40,021 --> 01:16:43,465 Cassandra wanted to play with them herself first. 1672 01:16:43,466 --> 01:16:44,091 They got away. 1673 01:16:44,091 --> 01:16:45,863 - Did they find the others? - No. 1674 01:16:45,863 --> 01:16:46,895 Good. All right. Phew. 1675 01:16:46,896 --> 01:16:48,815 - The others found them. - Oh, very cute. 1676 01:16:48,817 --> 01:16:50,735 Well done, Pyro. Classic bait and switch. 1677 01:16:50,737 --> 01:16:53,408 - You really got me there. - Relax. 1678 01:16:53,408 --> 01:16:55,872 If they come after Nova, she'll handle it. 1679 01:16:55,873 --> 01:16:57,676 Cassandra is a lunatic wild card. 1680 01:16:57,676 --> 01:16:59,943 Why do you think we put her there in the first place? 1681 01:16:59,944 --> 01:17:02,715 Thank God she's never chosen to leave The Void. 1682 01:17:02,716 --> 01:17:05,487 The Time Ripper is hours away from completion. 1683 01:17:05,488 --> 01:17:06,850 I cannot take any chances. 1684 01:17:06,851 --> 01:17:07,984 Well, maybe not. 1685 01:17:07,984 --> 01:17:09,033 But I can. 1686 01:17:09,034 --> 01:17:10,083 For a price. 1687 01:17:10,085 --> 01:17:11,988 Why do you have to say it in that silly voice? 1688 01:17:11,988 --> 01:17:12,625 It's so icky. 1689 01:17:12,626 --> 01:17:15,122 - You want it done or not? - All right. Your price. 1690 01:17:15,123 --> 01:17:16,894 Take her out. 1691 01:17:16,895 --> 01:17:18,663 Ugh. Mutants. 1692 01:17:20,029 --> 01:17:22,766 ♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪ 1693 01:17:22,768 --> 01:17:24,572 ♪ It's hard to yell when the bar-rel's in your mouth ♪ 1694 01:17:24,573 --> 01:17:27,206 - ♪ Come on ♪ - ♪ Swizzy! ♪ 1695 01:17:27,207 --> 01:17:29,840 ♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪ 1696 01:17:29,841 --> 01:17:31,676 ♪ T-I-P, coming live from the V.I.P. ♪ 1697 01:17:31,677 --> 01:17:33,877 ♪ Heard the nightlife lost life without me ♪ 1698 01:17:33,877 --> 01:17:37,413 ♪ Both the feds and the state wanna see 'bout me ♪ 1699 01:17:37,414 --> 01:17:40,951 ♪ The whole city got biz-zerk, he got three... ♪ 1700 01:17:40,952 --> 01:17:41,686 Ooh! Look at that there! 1701 01:17:41,688 --> 01:17:43,056 You see them biggum hands come closed. 1702 01:17:43,057 --> 01:17:44,426 Ain't not a wonna gettin' up inside there. 1703 01:17:44,426 --> 01:17:46,643 I think what Gambit's trying to say is 1704 01:17:46,644 --> 01:17:48,859 getting Juggernaut's helmet ain't gonna be easy. 1705 01:17:48,860 --> 01:17:50,261 I'm just making stuff up at this... 1706 01:17:50,262 --> 01:17:51,663 - Yeah. Tilt up to Blade. - Gun! 1707 01:17:51,664 --> 01:17:54,282 ♪ Mississippi to Philly, Albuquerque to Chatt-Town ♪ 1708 01:17:54,283 --> 01:17:56,900 ♪ If I hit you in the face, you gon' be suing and shit ♪ 1709 01:17:56,902 --> 01:17:59,167 Where'd he get that little beauty? 1710 01:17:59,167 --> 01:18:00,672 That's Punisher's AT4. 1711 01:18:00,673 --> 01:18:03,610 Which Punisher? There's been, like, five of them. 1712 01:18:03,612 --> 01:18:04,940 There's only been one Blade, 1713 01:18:04,942 --> 01:18:06,381 and there's only ever gonna be one Blade. 1714 01:18:06,382 --> 01:18:08,582 ♪ Who got a flow and a live show better than mine? ♪ 1715 01:18:08,583 --> 01:18:11,751 ♪ I got a packed house yellin' ♪ 1716 01:18:11,752 --> 01:18:13,252 Incoming! 1717 01:18:13,252 --> 01:18:14,752 Ahhh! 1718 01:18:14,753 --> 01:18:16,122 ♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪ 1719 01:18:16,123 --> 01:18:17,489 ♪ Ayy, from the back, they yellin ♪ 1720 01:18:17,490 --> 01:18:18,904 ♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪ 1721 01:18:18,905 --> 01:18:20,300 ♪ Ayy, all the dope boys yellin' ♪ 1722 01:18:20,301 --> 01:18:21,662 ♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪ 1723 01:18:21,663 --> 01:18:23,377 ♪ Ayy, from the back, they yellin ♪ 1724 01:18:30,604 --> 01:18:32,204 ♪ Mic check, one-two, one-two ♪ 1725 01:18:32,206 --> 01:18:33,805 ♪ You wanna beef with the King? ♪ 1726 01:18:33,806 --> 01:18:34,872 ♪ What is you gon' do? ♪ 1727 01:18:34,872 --> 01:18:37,275 ♪ Will you show up on the scene with two guns drew? ♪ 1728 01:18:37,277 --> 01:18:39,680 ♪ Or you and your friend and play a little two-on-two? ♪ 1729 01:18:39,680 --> 01:18:41,148 ♪ If you knew half of what I knew ♪ 1730 01:18:41,149 --> 01:18:42,617 ♪ Then you'd be hitting the deck ♪ 1731 01:18:42,618 --> 01:18:43,815 ♪ I got a tool and a vest ♪ 1732 01:18:43,817 --> 01:18:45,014 ♪ I can get some respect ♪ 1733 01:18:45,015 --> 01:18:47,114 ♪ Yeah, what other Southern rapper hood-er than this? ♪ 1734 01:18:47,115 --> 01:18:49,216 ♪ I got rich, and I'm still on some hooligan shit ♪ 1735 01:18:49,217 --> 01:18:50,823 ♪ Standing in your front yard yellin' ♪ 1736 01:18:50,823 --> 01:18:52,208 ♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪ 1737 01:18:52,210 --> 01:18:53,583 ♪ Ayy, all my hot girls yellin' ♪ 1738 01:18:53,585 --> 01:18:55,007 ♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪ 1739 01:18:55,009 --> 01:18:56,567 ♪ Ayy, all the dope boys yellin' ♪ 1740 01:18:56,568 --> 01:18:58,127 ♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪ 1741 01:19:03,671 --> 01:19:07,365 ♪ Hands in the air now! ♪ 1742 01:19:07,367 --> 01:19:10,447 ♪ Hands-hands in the- in the air-air now! ♪ 1743 01:19:10,448 --> 01:19:11,447 ♪ I can't hear you! ♪ 1744 01:19:11,448 --> 01:19:16,453 ♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪ 1745 01:19:19,148 --> 01:19:20,984 Ooh, this is gonna be good. 1746 01:19:20,984 --> 01:19:23,421 You know how long I've been waiting for this? 1747 01:19:23,421 --> 01:19:25,524 Whoo! I'm about to make a name for myself here. 1748 01:19:25,525 --> 01:19:27,627 I don't think you guys walk away from this. 1749 01:19:27,628 --> 01:19:29,944 You just make sure people know what happened here today. 1750 01:19:29,944 --> 01:19:32,260 And when you get out of here, you have a drink for me, yeah? 1751 01:19:32,261 --> 01:19:34,948 You just stay on our six and get inside. 1752 01:19:34,949 --> 01:19:37,639 We'll make sure you get the package. 1753 01:19:37,640 --> 01:19:39,904 And we'll get our ending. 1754 01:20:49,435 --> 01:20:50,238 And boom! 1755 01:21:20,742 --> 01:21:24,042 Heh. Some motherfuckers still trying to ice skate uphill. 1756 01:21:30,653 --> 01:21:33,083 You two escaping, I could live with. 1757 01:21:33,085 --> 01:21:36,823 But coming back? Willingly? 1758 01:21:37,693 --> 01:21:39,088 Boys are so silly. 1759 01:21:39,090 --> 01:21:40,122 I just need to get home. 1760 01:21:40,123 --> 01:21:42,597 Well, that's not on the menu, I'm afraid. 1761 01:21:42,599 --> 01:21:46,525 It's death or enslavement. A la carte, of course. 1762 01:21:46,527 --> 01:21:48,935 Upsy-daisy. 1763 01:21:53,742 --> 01:21:54,203 Finally, 1764 01:21:54,203 --> 01:21:56,679 it's nice to give someone else a chance to talk. 1765 01:21:56,680 --> 01:21:58,828 Not my strong suit. 1766 01:22:16,094 --> 01:22:18,261 You shouldn't have done that. 1767 01:22:37,444 --> 01:22:39,282 Adios, pendejo. 1768 01:22:40,579 --> 01:22:43,449 You are an interesting one, aren't you? 1769 01:22:43,451 --> 01:22:47,224 I do feel like you get lost behind all of his... 1770 01:22:49,731 --> 01:22:53,769 Deadpools are a dime a dozen here in The Void. 1771 01:22:54,033 --> 01:22:55,770 But you... 1772 01:22:55,770 --> 01:22:59,434 What's going on in here? 1773 01:23:08,081 --> 01:23:10,345 Logan! 1774 01:23:12,083 --> 01:23:14,152 Interesting... 1775 01:23:14,448 --> 01:23:17,188 Not what I expected back here. 1776 01:23:17,661 --> 01:23:19,662 Behind the anger. 1777 01:23:22,930 --> 01:23:24,029 You're hiding. 1778 01:23:24,029 --> 01:23:25,800 From them. 1779 01:23:25,801 --> 01:23:28,738 From all the ones you let down. 1780 01:23:30,707 --> 01:23:32,434 So much pain. 1781 01:23:34,534 --> 01:23:36,502 I walked away. 1782 01:23:36,503 --> 01:23:38,538 They called after me and I... 1783 01:23:38,539 --> 01:23:40,243 I walked away. 1784 01:23:40,815 --> 01:23:41,606 I always do. 1785 01:23:41,608 --> 01:23:43,720 - Logan! - I know. 1786 01:23:45,117 --> 01:23:47,283 That's not all you did. 1787 01:23:47,613 --> 01:23:48,118 Is it? 1788 01:23:51,793 --> 01:23:53,828 You found them. 1789 01:23:54,126 --> 01:23:55,831 The X-Men. 1790 01:24:00,738 --> 01:24:01,230 Dead. 1791 01:24:04,235 --> 01:24:06,137 Piled like wood. 1792 01:24:06,841 --> 01:24:09,108 What did you do? 1793 01:24:10,978 --> 01:24:12,472 I started killing. 1794 01:24:12,474 --> 01:24:16,180 And I couldn't stop. I didn't wanna stop. 1795 01:24:16,511 --> 01:24:19,788 All those bad men. 1796 01:24:23,088 --> 01:24:25,761 It's not just the bad ones. 1797 01:24:26,653 --> 01:24:28,423 My little animal. 1798 01:24:29,898 --> 01:24:34,033 And I turned the whole world against the X-Men. 1799 01:24:34,034 --> 01:24:35,662 Blade! 1800 01:24:40,600 --> 01:24:42,305 Just once... 1801 01:24:42,845 --> 01:24:46,914 I wanna be the man that Charles thought I was. 1802 01:24:47,673 --> 01:24:49,148 Logan... 1803 01:24:49,609 --> 01:24:54,350 in The Void, you can be what you are. 1804 01:24:55,989 --> 01:24:58,271 I just wanna be free. 1805 01:24:58,273 --> 01:25:00,555 I can set you free. 1806 01:25:10,971 --> 01:25:16,779 I can silence all those voices. 1807 01:25:23,545 --> 01:25:25,118 I've got you. 1808 01:25:27,054 --> 01:25:28,824 I've got you. 1809 01:25:28,989 --> 01:25:30,386 No. 1810 01:25:31,157 --> 01:25:32,895 I got you. 1811 01:25:39,836 --> 01:25:42,002 Get it off! 1812 01:25:42,002 --> 01:25:43,569 You're gonna send us home, 1813 01:25:43,570 --> 01:25:45,137 or I'm gonna twist your fucking head off. 1814 01:25:45,139 --> 01:25:47,601 Why are you laughing? 1815 01:25:47,603 --> 01:25:48,502 I can't send you home 1816 01:25:48,503 --> 01:25:51,814 unless you get this thing off my head. 1817 01:25:51,815 --> 01:25:52,671 And as soon as you do that, 1818 01:25:52,672 --> 01:25:55,658 I'm going to boil your brains on an atomic level 1819 01:25:55,659 --> 01:25:58,645 whilst flicking my bean to the Enya box set. 1820 01:25:58,646 --> 01:26:00,185 There's an Enya box set? 1821 01:26:00,186 --> 01:26:01,917 Either you kill me 1822 01:26:01,918 --> 01:26:03,650 or I kill you. 1823 01:26:03,859 --> 01:26:05,552 Both wonderful options. 1824 01:26:05,554 --> 01:26:07,259 You want me to do it? 1825 01:26:07,260 --> 01:26:07,863 No, I'll do it. 1826 01:26:07,863 --> 01:26:09,095 I have her neck right here. 1827 01:26:09,095 --> 01:26:10,966 - It's really no problem. - You'll screw it up. 1828 01:26:10,966 --> 01:26:12,868 Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13, 1829 01:26:12,869 --> 01:26:13,725 except the last one! 1830 01:26:13,726 --> 01:26:16,729 What the fuck? 1831 01:26:16,840 --> 01:26:19,699 You have no idea 1832 01:26:19,701 --> 01:26:20,435 what it's like! 1833 01:26:20,436 --> 01:26:23,770 Day after day. Shovel the shit. 1834 01:26:23,770 --> 01:26:25,176 Fetch the meats. 1835 01:26:25,177 --> 01:26:28,984 I have spent my entire exis... 1836 01:26:29,952 --> 01:26:31,413 Not everyone gets a speech. 1837 01:26:31,414 --> 01:26:33,921 She's gonna die. 1838 01:26:33,922 --> 01:26:35,859 Okay. Hey, hey. If I take this helmet off, 1839 01:26:35,859 --> 01:26:37,443 do you promise you won't kill us? 1840 01:26:37,444 --> 01:26:39,027 - Fuck! - I promise... 1841 01:26:39,028 --> 01:26:40,456 I will kill you first thing. 1842 01:26:40,457 --> 01:26:42,865 Oh! Why are you like this? 1843 01:26:42,867 --> 01:26:43,756 I wish I knew. 1844 01:26:43,756 --> 01:26:44,944 - Take it off. - What? 1845 01:26:44,944 --> 01:26:46,131 - Take it off. - Why? 1846 01:26:46,132 --> 01:26:47,694 - Just take it off. - This is our only chance 1847 01:26:47,695 --> 01:26:50,829 - to fix our shit! - Take it off! 1848 01:26:51,908 --> 01:26:53,600 I am wearing this suit. 1849 01:26:53,601 --> 01:26:57,243 And that means a lot of things, but most of all... 1850 01:26:57,947 --> 01:26:59,948 it means I'm an X-Man. 1851 01:27:00,180 --> 01:27:02,346 And I know your brother. 1852 01:27:03,512 --> 01:27:04,777 As much as I want to fucking kill you, 1853 01:27:04,778 --> 01:27:08,435 every bone in my body wants to fucking kill you, 1854 01:27:08,435 --> 01:27:12,092 he would not let me stand here and watch you die! 1855 01:27:13,787 --> 01:27:15,822 Take your hands off. 1856 01:27:16,823 --> 01:27:18,759 This is for him. 1857 01:27:19,826 --> 01:27:21,904 This is for Charles. 1858 01:27:30,539 --> 01:27:32,443 Hey, no, no, no! 1859 01:27:32,444 --> 01:27:35,050 Don't you dare do me like Johnny! 1860 01:27:40,649 --> 01:27:42,420 My brother loved you. 1861 01:27:43,652 --> 01:27:45,390 He loved all of us. 1862 01:27:45,686 --> 01:27:47,095 Hmm. 1863 01:27:47,886 --> 01:27:49,724 Must be nice. 1864 01:27:49,823 --> 01:27:52,067 He would've loved you, too. 1865 01:27:54,101 --> 01:27:56,104 If he knew about you... 1866 01:27:56,972 --> 01:27:58,038 if he knew where you were, 1867 01:27:58,039 --> 01:28:00,833 he would've torn a hole in the fucking universe 1868 01:28:00,835 --> 01:28:02,703 to bring you home. 1869 01:28:05,838 --> 01:28:07,444 This is my home. 1870 01:28:07,444 --> 01:28:10,877 Well, then at least let us save his. 1871 01:28:13,957 --> 01:28:16,421 You want to hear something crazy? 1872 01:28:16,850 --> 01:28:21,293 An amateur magician rolled through here a while back. 1873 01:28:21,557 --> 01:28:23,130 I killed him, of course. 1874 01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:26,761 Wore his skin around for four days. 1875 01:28:27,036 --> 01:28:27,970 But 1876 01:28:27,970 --> 01:28:29,769 I found this 1877 01:28:29,770 --> 01:28:31,567 little trinket 1878 01:28:31,568 --> 01:28:33,701 on his lovely fingers. 1879 01:28:33,702 --> 01:28:35,836 Strange! 1880 01:28:37,475 --> 01:28:41,016 - Marvel sparkle circle. - What is that? 1881 01:28:41,018 --> 01:28:42,775 This is your way home. 1882 01:28:42,777 --> 01:28:44,645 I do owe you for saving my life. 1883 01:28:44,646 --> 01:28:46,631 But let's keep things interesting. 1884 01:28:46,632 --> 01:28:48,618 I'd say you have about four seconds 1885 01:28:48,618 --> 01:28:50,917 before you're Alioth's food. 1886 01:28:54,162 --> 01:28:56,262 Race ya. 1887 01:29:00,631 --> 01:29:04,237 ♪ I'll be seeing you ♪ 1888 01:29:04,238 --> 01:29:09,792 ♪ In all the old familiar places ♪ 1889 01:29:09,792 --> 01:29:15,347 ♪ That this heart of mine embraces ♪ 1890 01:29:15,349 --> 01:29:18,185 ♪ All day through ♪ 1891 01:29:20,649 --> 01:29:25,259 ♪ In that small cafe ♪ 1892 01:29:25,423 --> 01:29:30,065 ♪ The park across the way ♪ 1893 01:29:30,890 --> 01:29:35,301 ♪ The children's carousel ♪ 1894 01:29:35,301 --> 01:29:41,671 ♪ The chestnut trees, the wishing well ♪ 1895 01:29:42,573 --> 01:29:46,180 ♪ I'll be seeing you ♪ 1896 01:29:46,180 --> 01:29:50,581 ♪ In every lovely summer's day ♪ 1897 01:29:51,153 --> 01:29:55,981 ♪ I'll find you in the morning sun ♪ 1898 01:29:55,983 --> 01:30:01,295 ♪ And when the night is new ♪ 1899 01:30:02,757 --> 01:30:09,336 ♪ I'll be looking at the moon ♪ 1900 01:30:09,797 --> 01:30:15,869 ♪ But I'll be seeing you ♪ 1901 01:30:18,345 --> 01:30:21,039 And as I said, we've got a standard three-year 1902 01:30:21,041 --> 01:30:22,447 bumper to bumper warranty. 1903 01:30:22,448 --> 01:30:24,009 Glad you gave us a second chance. 1904 01:30:24,010 --> 01:30:26,164 And don't worry. Wade and I are a team, 1905 01:30:26,166 --> 01:30:28,322 so I'll see he gets half the commission... 1906 01:30:29,158 --> 01:30:30,158 Whoa. 1907 01:30:30,158 --> 01:30:32,159 That feels like a Kia. 1908 01:30:32,161 --> 01:30:36,099 It's a fucking Kia Carnival, isn't it? 1909 01:30:36,462 --> 01:30:39,564 Holy shit. That's Deadpool. 1910 01:30:39,564 --> 01:30:40,399 And that's Wolverine. 1911 01:30:40,399 --> 01:30:42,060 You're damn straight it is. 1912 01:30:42,061 --> 01:30:42,994 Fox killed him. 1913 01:30:42,996 --> 01:30:43,731 Disney brought him back. 1914 01:30:43,733 --> 01:30:46,405 They're going to make him do this till he's 90. 1915 01:30:46,537 --> 01:30:47,835 Let's go. 1916 01:30:47,836 --> 01:30:49,541 I'll clock you out! 1917 01:30:49,542 --> 01:30:51,377 Forever! 1918 01:30:51,740 --> 01:30:53,247 Forever. 1919 01:30:59,913 --> 01:31:00,617 Wakey-wakey. 1920 01:31:00,618 --> 01:31:03,291 God? 1921 01:31:03,390 --> 01:31:07,086 Now, you put all these bullets in my belly, 1922 01:31:07,087 --> 01:31:09,725 and I'm gonna find out why. 1923 01:31:09,726 --> 01:31:11,332 Whoa, whoa! 1924 01:31:11,430 --> 01:31:12,793 I'll just say it. 1925 01:31:12,795 --> 01:31:15,028 You don't have to stick your fingers in me. 1926 01:31:15,029 --> 01:31:18,173 Jesus, just ask sometimes. 1927 01:31:18,175 --> 01:31:19,835 Fine. 1928 01:31:20,604 --> 01:31:21,902 Really? 1929 01:31:21,903 --> 01:31:23,320 Hands in pockets. 1930 01:31:24,850 --> 01:31:26,378 Guy named Paradox. 1931 01:31:26,380 --> 01:31:28,447 He said he'd get me out of The Void. 1932 01:31:28,448 --> 01:31:30,515 All I know is he works for the TVA. 1933 01:31:30,516 --> 01:31:31,185 The TVA. 1934 01:31:31,186 --> 01:31:32,484 We had an agreement. 1935 01:31:32,484 --> 01:31:34,685 I don't think this guy cares. 1936 01:31:34,685 --> 01:31:36,185 Huh. He will. 1937 01:31:36,186 --> 01:31:37,686 Hey, people! 1938 01:31:37,688 --> 01:31:40,086 How much longer before the Time Ripper is active? 1939 01:31:40,087 --> 01:31:41,559 We're running the final safety checks. 1940 01:31:41,560 --> 01:31:44,662 Oh, okay. All right. Thanks for all your hard work, Ralph. 1941 01:31:44,662 --> 01:31:46,202 - Take your time. - Really? 1942 01:31:46,203 --> 01:31:47,466 No, you drooling boob! 1943 01:31:47,467 --> 01:31:48,730 No! We have company. 1944 01:31:48,731 --> 01:31:52,670 Cancel the safety checks. We need to be live now! 1945 01:31:52,671 --> 01:31:54,969 Oh, I hate you so much. 1946 01:31:56,542 --> 01:31:57,135 No! Stop! 1947 01:31:57,136 --> 01:31:58,609 Piss off! You're too late. 1948 01:31:58,609 --> 01:32:00,908 - You're fuckin' done. - Why was Thor crying? 1949 01:32:00,909 --> 01:32:01,810 How dare you! 1950 01:32:01,810 --> 01:32:04,516 No one comes back from The Void. 1951 01:32:04,518 --> 01:32:06,881 Tell that to Cassandra Nova. 1952 01:32:14,757 --> 01:32:17,694 Paradox. We have a problem. 1953 01:32:19,796 --> 01:32:21,831 Paradox. 1954 01:32:22,634 --> 01:32:25,900 Well, you are doughier than you looked in Pyro's head. 1955 01:32:25,902 --> 01:32:27,353 You tried to kill me. 1956 01:32:27,354 --> 01:32:28,804 I literally have no i... 1957 01:32:28,805 --> 01:32:30,872 You come for the king, 1958 01:32:30,873 --> 01:32:32,940 you better kill the king. 1959 01:32:32,942 --> 01:32:33,676 Oh-ho-ho! 1960 01:32:33,677 --> 01:32:36,162 Welcome to the skull fuck club, Paradox. 1961 01:32:36,163 --> 01:32:38,649 You know she doesn't wash that hand. 1962 01:32:38,650 --> 01:32:40,487 Oh. 1963 01:32:40,488 --> 01:32:42,114 What's this? 1964 01:32:42,819 --> 01:32:43,770 A Time Ripper? 1965 01:32:43,770 --> 01:32:44,720 Naughty boy. 1966 01:32:44,721 --> 01:32:45,755 Oh, no. We're on it. 1967 01:32:45,756 --> 01:32:47,921 We're gonna head down and dismantle that thing now. 1968 01:32:47,922 --> 01:32:50,090 We got ya, boo. You just keep playing those keys. 1969 01:32:50,091 --> 01:32:52,597 I don't want to destroy it. 1970 01:32:52,599 --> 01:32:53,597 I want to use it. 1971 01:32:53,599 --> 01:32:57,195 Now, shoo. Mummy and Daddy are having a conversation. 1972 01:33:03,476 --> 01:33:05,610 You know, the funny thing is, 1973 01:33:05,612 --> 01:33:07,105 I was happy in The Void. 1974 01:33:07,106 --> 01:33:11,045 You sent your trash to me. Alioth and I cleaned it up. 1975 01:33:11,046 --> 01:33:12,913 Everyone was happy. 1976 01:33:12,914 --> 01:33:16,787 And then you had to go and piss on my side of the fence. 1977 01:33:16,787 --> 01:33:19,689 And so now the fence must come down. 1978 01:33:19,690 --> 01:33:22,043 I'm going to use your little Time Ripper. 1979 01:33:22,045 --> 01:33:24,601 And I'm going to destroy this universe 1980 01:33:24,603 --> 01:33:27,899 and the next and the next and the next 1981 01:33:27,899 --> 01:33:31,197 until all that's left is The Void. 1982 01:33:31,198 --> 01:33:33,506 And I get to play God. 1983 01:33:33,506 --> 01:33:35,069 Come on. 1984 01:33:35,069 --> 01:33:35,970 Now you're going to show me 1985 01:33:35,970 --> 01:33:37,872 how to use this fancy gadget of yours. 1986 01:33:37,873 --> 01:33:39,777 And don't worry, I've called some friends 1987 01:33:39,778 --> 01:33:42,384 to make sure we're not disturbed. 1988 01:33:44,518 --> 01:33:45,716 Sorry to bother, madam, 1989 01:33:45,717 --> 01:33:47,487 but there's something you need to see. 1990 01:33:47,488 --> 01:33:50,590 We're getting indications of an unsanctioned Time Ripper 1991 01:33:50,591 --> 01:33:53,692 activating on Earth-10005. 1992 01:33:54,659 --> 01:33:56,694 Whose district is that? 1993 01:33:56,893 --> 01:33:58,301 Paradox. 1994 01:34:08,640 --> 01:34:11,038 Well, thank you so much for your help, darling. 1995 01:34:11,039 --> 01:34:13,679 God. Good to get out of that head. 1996 01:34:13,680 --> 01:34:16,351 Whew! What a mess! 1997 01:34:23,248 --> 01:34:23,853 Stop! 1998 01:34:23,854 --> 01:34:25,988 Let's give it a beat for the extras to clear. 1999 01:34:25,988 --> 01:34:29,221 Go, go, go, go, go! Oh, my God! 2000 01:34:33,127 --> 01:34:36,635 - Oh. My. God. - Fuck. 2001 01:34:43,742 --> 01:34:45,974 It's her! 2002 01:34:45,975 --> 01:34:48,978 Come on, girl! 2003 01:34:50,144 --> 01:34:51,814 ♪ Was love always this good ♪ 2004 01:34:51,815 --> 01:34:54,951 ♪ Or could this be just the start? ♪ 2005 01:34:54,952 --> 01:34:56,634 Come on, girl! 2006 01:34:56,635 --> 01:34:58,315 ♪ Baby, baby ♪ 2007 01:34:58,317 --> 01:35:03,465 ♪ Turn the radio up for that sweet sound ♪ 2008 01:35:03,466 --> 01:35:07,832 ♪ Hold me close, never let me go ♪ 2009 01:35:07,832 --> 01:35:10,735 ♪ Keep this feelin' alive... ♪ 2010 01:35:10,737 --> 01:35:11,735 That's my girl! 2011 01:35:11,737 --> 01:35:13,033 We don't have to be apart 2012 01:35:13,034 --> 01:35:15,168 ever, ever again. Never, ever... 2013 01:35:15,170 --> 01:35:16,774 - Sorry! - Fuck! 2014 01:35:17,479 --> 01:35:19,105 What's Cafe Gratitude doing here? 2015 01:35:19,106 --> 01:35:21,091 Sorry about that. 2016 01:35:21,092 --> 01:35:23,078 Tremble not, sweet Mary Puppins. 2017 01:35:23,078 --> 01:35:24,430 I'll handle him. 2018 01:35:24,431 --> 01:35:25,783 Come here, girl. Papa's here. 2019 01:35:25,783 --> 01:35:29,083 Hey, do not insult this animal's autonomy. 2020 01:35:29,085 --> 01:35:30,805 She can decide who her papa is. 2021 01:35:30,805 --> 01:35:32,525 What's it gonna be, girl, huh? 2022 01:35:32,527 --> 01:35:34,659 Original recipe or Van Milder here? 2023 01:35:34,661 --> 01:35:39,501 Ah, that's funny. I can gently tap the fourth wall too. 2024 01:35:39,502 --> 01:35:41,261 The Proposal. 2025 01:35:41,899 --> 01:35:42,865 The fuck was that? 2026 01:35:42,867 --> 01:35:44,902 Bitch, you think that's what I do? 2027 01:35:44,903 --> 01:35:45,868 Both of you shut up. 2028 01:35:45,869 --> 01:35:48,202 You smell somethin'? 2029 01:35:48,203 --> 01:35:48,904 Yeah, you. 2030 01:35:48,905 --> 01:35:51,072 A lot of you. 2031 01:36:06,087 --> 01:36:08,728 Told you there were a lot of Deadpools over there. 2032 01:36:20,574 --> 01:36:22,400 That's bad. 2033 01:36:43,796 --> 01:36:45,567 I take it they're not friendly. 2034 01:36:45,568 --> 01:36:46,292 Goodness, no. 2035 01:36:46,292 --> 01:36:47,963 Sorry about this, boys. Mission over. 2036 01:36:47,965 --> 01:36:51,770 Cause of death, one hundred kill-thirsty Deadpools. 2037 01:36:51,771 --> 01:36:52,396 They're dumb. 2038 01:36:52,398 --> 01:36:53,640 But they can fight. Not me, though. 2039 01:36:53,640 --> 01:36:56,775 Would love to get in the mix, but I have low bone density 2040 01:36:56,777 --> 01:36:58,327 and I have to keep my face safe. 2041 01:36:58,328 --> 01:36:59,877 Hold, please. 2042 01:36:59,877 --> 01:37:02,847 - Oh, God. - All right. Look. 2043 01:37:02,849 --> 01:37:04,344 Guys! 2044 01:37:04,850 --> 01:37:06,113 Deadpool Prime here. 2045 01:37:06,114 --> 01:37:08,083 - Our fight isn't with you... - Hey! 2046 01:37:08,085 --> 01:37:09,117 When I want your opinion, 2047 01:37:09,118 --> 01:37:11,692 I'll take Wolverine's dick out of your mouth. 2048 01:37:11,693 --> 01:37:13,127 That's Kidpool. She's the dirtiest. 2049 01:37:13,127 --> 01:37:14,561 Can we just be done? 2050 01:37:14,563 --> 01:37:16,762 Ooh, we're just getting started. 2051 01:37:16,764 --> 01:37:18,945 No, no, no, no, no. 2052 01:37:18,947 --> 01:37:21,130 With the whole multiverse thing. 2053 01:37:21,537 --> 01:37:23,087 It's not great. 2054 01:37:23,087 --> 01:37:24,639 It's just been miss 2055 01:37:24,640 --> 01:37:26,051 after miss 2056 01:37:26,052 --> 01:37:27,465 after miss. 2057 01:37:27,466 --> 01:37:29,940 Look, The Wizard of Oz did the multiverse first, 2058 01:37:29,942 --> 01:37:33,240 and they did it best. The gays knew it. 2059 01:37:33,242 --> 01:37:34,141 But we didn't listen. 2060 01:37:34,143 --> 01:37:36,881 Let's just take the L and move on. 2061 01:37:36,881 --> 01:37:39,686 I think it's been steadily great since Endgame. 2062 01:37:39,688 --> 01:37:41,721 What are you talking about? 2063 01:37:41,722 --> 01:37:42,953 The multiverse is over. 2064 01:37:42,953 --> 01:37:44,449 Cassandy gonna destroy 2065 01:37:44,451 --> 01:37:46,055 the fuck outta every timeline. 2066 01:37:46,055 --> 01:37:47,694 Heh. Y'all can't do shit about it. 2067 01:37:47,695 --> 01:37:48,595 Do you not get it? 2068 01:37:48,596 --> 01:37:49,961 If we don't go down to the subway 2069 01:37:49,962 --> 01:37:50,828 and stop her, we all die. 2070 01:37:50,829 --> 01:37:52,127 Say, the boss lady 2071 01:37:52,128 --> 01:37:53,127 don't want no disturbances. 2072 01:37:53,128 --> 01:37:55,262 You wanna get down to the subway, 2073 01:37:55,264 --> 01:37:56,703 you gotta go through us. 2074 01:37:56,704 --> 01:37:57,737 Uzi time, baby. 2075 01:37:57,738 --> 01:37:59,305 Uzi time, baby. 2076 01:37:59,305 --> 01:38:00,872 Look alive! 2077 01:38:09,243 --> 01:38:11,212 - I think I'm hit. - No shit. 2078 01:38:11,213 --> 01:38:11,981 You did that on purpose. 2079 01:38:11,983 --> 01:38:14,051 I did no such thing! 2080 01:38:14,051 --> 01:38:14,787 Listen to me, gorgeous. 2081 01:38:14,787 --> 01:38:16,855 How long does it take for you to regenerate? 2082 01:38:16,856 --> 01:38:18,792 Regenerate? 2083 01:38:23,488 --> 01:38:25,667 You really are God's perfect idiot, aren't you? 2084 01:38:25,667 --> 01:38:27,295 - I'm okay. - How dare you! 2085 01:38:27,296 --> 01:38:28,966 You insensitive son of a bitch! 2086 01:38:28,966 --> 01:38:31,672 How was I supposed to know he doesn't regenerate? 2087 01:38:31,673 --> 01:38:32,672 I'm not a medicine woman. 2088 01:38:32,673 --> 01:38:35,467 Look. A donut cart. They're practically hospitals. 2089 01:38:35,469 --> 01:38:36,402 - What? - They sell 2090 01:38:36,403 --> 01:38:37,655 - portable triage units. - They don't. 2091 01:38:37,657 --> 01:38:39,734 I'm gonna get you to safety. 2092 01:38:39,735 --> 01:38:41,814 - He's not. - Deep breath. 2093 01:38:49,118 --> 01:38:50,921 Hey, why are we stopping? 2094 01:38:50,922 --> 01:38:52,087 I'm just catching my breath. 2095 01:38:52,088 --> 01:38:55,488 What, are your legs on vacation? You're dead weight! 2096 01:38:55,488 --> 01:38:56,554 That's because I'm paralyzed. 2097 01:38:56,555 --> 01:38:59,635 We all have problems. Listen to me. 2098 01:38:59,636 --> 01:39:01,262 You're gonna live. 2099 01:39:01,670 --> 01:39:03,417 Look at me, Nicepool. 2100 01:39:06,905 --> 01:39:08,875 You're gonna live. 2101 01:39:09,039 --> 01:39:10,743 Say it! 2102 01:39:10,744 --> 01:39:11,877 I'm gonna live. 2103 01:39:11,877 --> 01:39:14,176 Say it with me. You're gonna live. 2104 01:39:14,177 --> 01:39:16,078 I'm gonna live! 2105 01:39:16,079 --> 01:39:20,149 Ha-hah! Say it louder! 2106 01:39:20,150 --> 01:39:22,020 I'm gonna live... 2107 01:39:30,225 --> 01:39:32,293 Hold your fire! 2108 01:39:33,559 --> 01:39:35,671 Sweet little puppy. 2109 01:39:44,680 --> 01:39:46,680 God damn it! 2110 01:39:46,681 --> 01:39:48,684 I don't think he's gonna make it. 2111 01:39:48,685 --> 01:39:50,179 God, he loved his face. 2112 01:39:50,180 --> 01:39:53,018 I can taste his final thought. 2113 01:39:53,019 --> 01:39:54,250 He was so afraid. 2114 01:39:54,251 --> 01:39:55,480 But he died a hero. 2115 01:39:55,481 --> 01:39:57,384 He died from murder, you dumb fuck. 2116 01:39:57,385 --> 01:40:00,421 And all I have to remember him by 2117 01:40:00,586 --> 01:40:02,125 are these two gold-plated, 2118 01:40:02,126 --> 01:40:04,898 ...50 caliber Desert Eagle pistoleros. 2119 01:40:04,899 --> 01:40:06,426 This is for him. 2120 01:40:06,559 --> 01:40:07,899 Are you ready? 2121 01:40:07,900 --> 01:40:09,969 I get to kill a hundred yous? 2122 01:40:09,970 --> 01:40:11,805 Fuck yeah, I'm ready. 2123 01:40:11,805 --> 01:40:13,631 Hey, you don't want to see this, bub. 2124 01:40:13,632 --> 01:40:14,533 That's a good girl. 2125 01:40:19,043 --> 01:40:23,377 ♪ Life is a mystery ♪ 2126 01:40:23,377 --> 01:40:28,014 ♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪ 2127 01:40:28,015 --> 01:40:32,650 ♪ I hear you call my name ♪ 2128 01:40:32,652 --> 01:40:37,391 ♪ And it feels like ♪ 2129 01:40:37,393 --> 01:40:40,197 ♪ Home... ♪ 2130 01:40:51,779 --> 01:40:52,978 Holy shit. 2131 01:40:52,979 --> 01:40:55,916 You save the good stuff for special occasions? 2132 01:40:55,917 --> 01:40:56,717 Killing, mostly. 2133 01:40:56,719 --> 01:40:58,181 What's the wind resistance 2134 01:40:58,182 --> 01:40:59,115 on those blowjob handles? 2135 01:40:59,117 --> 01:41:01,019 I'm sorry. 2136 01:41:01,020 --> 01:41:04,055 I'm just a catty bitch when I'm jealous. 2137 01:41:04,056 --> 01:41:05,992 All right, let's do this. 2138 01:41:05,993 --> 01:41:07,895 Maximum effort. 2139 01:41:18,136 --> 01:41:21,974 ♪ When you call my name It's like a little prayer ♪ 2140 01:41:21,975 --> 01:41:25,962 ♪ I'm down on my knees I want to take you there ♪ 2141 01:41:25,962 --> 01:41:29,948 ♪ In the midnight hour I can feel your power ♪ 2142 01:41:29,949 --> 01:41:34,954 ♪ Just like a prayer You know I'll take you there ♪ 2143 01:41:34,956 --> 01:41:38,826 ♪ Life is a mystery ♪ 2144 01:41:38,827 --> 01:41:42,863 ♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪ 2145 01:41:42,863 --> 01:41:46,900 ♪ I hear you call my name ♪ 2146 01:41:46,902 --> 01:41:47,769 You're dead. 2147 01:41:47,770 --> 01:41:52,698 ♪ And it feels like ♪ 2148 01:41:54,942 --> 01:41:56,734 ♪ Let the choir sing ♪ 2149 01:41:56,734 --> 01:42:00,975 ♪ When you call my name It's like a little prayer ♪ 2150 01:42:00,975 --> 01:42:05,146 ♪ I'm down on my knees I wanna take you there ♪ 2151 01:42:05,148 --> 01:42:09,318 ♪ In the midnight hour I can feel your power ♪ 2152 01:42:09,319 --> 01:42:13,828 ♪ Just like a prayer You know I'll take you there ♪ 2153 01:42:13,829 --> 01:42:15,796 Motherfucker. 2154 01:42:15,797 --> 01:42:17,029 I wish I were deaf. 2155 01:42:17,029 --> 01:42:18,344 ♪ I'll take you there ♪ 2156 01:42:18,345 --> 01:42:19,658 ♪ It's like a dream to me ♪ 2157 01:42:19,658 --> 01:42:21,759 ♪ Oh oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪ 2158 01:42:21,760 --> 01:42:24,872 ♪ Just like a prayer, I'll take you there ♪ 2159 01:42:24,873 --> 01:42:26,368 ♪ Oh yeah, yeah ♪ 2160 01:42:26,368 --> 01:42:28,975 ♪ It's like a dream to me ♪ 2161 01:42:28,976 --> 01:42:31,845 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 2162 01:42:31,846 --> 01:42:36,313 ♪ It's like a prayer... ♪ 2163 01:42:36,543 --> 01:42:39,480 I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. 2164 01:42:39,481 --> 01:42:41,119 I don't wanna... 2165 01:42:54,002 --> 01:42:55,529 Come on. 2166 01:42:55,530 --> 01:42:56,167 Oh, I blew it. 2167 01:42:56,167 --> 01:42:58,565 After all that, the only thing they're gonna remember 2168 01:42:58,567 --> 01:43:01,206 is that God-awful dismount! 2169 01:43:04,737 --> 01:43:06,980 What you laughing at, you little fucker? 2170 01:43:06,981 --> 01:43:08,246 Uh-oh. 2171 01:43:08,247 --> 01:43:09,929 Uh-oh. 2172 01:43:13,515 --> 01:43:16,023 I guess these ones regenerate. 2173 01:43:16,925 --> 01:43:19,927 Come on. We don't have time for this. 2174 01:43:19,929 --> 01:43:21,094 Deadpools! 2175 01:43:21,095 --> 01:43:22,997 Stand down. 2176 01:43:32,731 --> 01:43:34,206 This Deadpool's with me. 2177 01:43:34,207 --> 01:43:35,470 Oh, no. 2178 01:43:35,471 --> 01:43:36,734 Holy shit. 2179 01:43:36,735 --> 01:43:38,671 That's fuckin' Peter! 2180 01:43:41,081 --> 01:43:42,675 Wait, you... You guys know Peter? 2181 01:43:42,676 --> 01:43:45,085 You kidding me? Every Deadpool has a Peter. 2182 01:43:45,086 --> 01:43:47,845 Shit. Peter's a goddamn legend 2183 01:43:47,846 --> 01:43:49,583 in every Deadpool's world. 2184 01:43:49,585 --> 01:43:51,893 Peter-san. Hai. 2185 01:43:58,658 --> 01:44:01,297 Peter. Peter. Peter. 2186 01:44:01,298 --> 01:44:04,153 Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. 2187 01:44:04,154 --> 01:44:07,007 Peter. Peter. Peter. 2188 01:44:07,009 --> 01:44:09,338 Enjoy my Peter. 2189 01:44:36,136 --> 01:44:36,860 Oh, now you're here. 2190 01:44:36,862 --> 01:44:38,797 Oh, well, you're too late. It's all over. 2191 01:44:38,798 --> 01:44:39,501 Not yet, it's not. 2192 01:44:39,502 --> 01:44:41,569 Whoa. No, no, no. We're very close. 2193 01:44:41,570 --> 01:44:42,971 Homestretch, folks. Promise. 2194 01:44:42,972 --> 01:44:44,373 Quick, let's up the stakes. 2195 01:44:44,375 --> 01:44:45,573 If she steals the Time Ripper's energy, 2196 01:44:45,573 --> 01:44:48,412 she has the power to shred the fabric of all realities 2197 01:44:48,412 --> 01:44:50,677 until there is nothing left but The Void. 2198 01:44:50,679 --> 01:44:52,052 How do we shut it down? 2199 01:44:52,054 --> 01:44:53,152 I don't know. 2200 01:44:54,681 --> 01:44:55,516 How about now? 2201 01:44:55,518 --> 01:44:57,569 The mask is really intimidating, huh? 2202 01:44:57,569 --> 01:44:59,621 It's like Batman, except he can move his neck. 2203 01:44:59,622 --> 01:45:01,753 Okay, look, look, look. 2204 01:45:01,755 --> 01:45:04,806 The Ripper is fed from a secure chamber below ground. 2205 01:45:04,807 --> 01:45:07,859 It is powered by twin matter and anti-matter feeds 2206 01:45:07,860 --> 01:45:09,498 converging inside the device. 2207 01:45:09,500 --> 01:45:10,301 Now, Cassandra Nova 2208 01:45:10,301 --> 01:45:11,500 is redirecting the Ripper's power 2209 01:45:11,501 --> 01:45:13,800 to eliminate all timelines, starting with this one. 2210 01:45:13,801 --> 01:45:14,865 Theoretically, you could stop her 2211 01:45:14,867 --> 01:45:16,769 by short-circuiting the feeds in the chamber below. 2212 01:45:16,770 --> 01:45:19,608 One of you were to create a circuit between the two feeds, 2213 01:45:19,609 --> 01:45:22,225 then the released power would destroy the machine. 2214 01:45:22,226 --> 01:45:24,844 - But, well... But... - Come on, man. 2215 01:45:24,845 --> 01:45:26,845 If you're not gonna swallow, spit it out. 2216 01:45:26,845 --> 01:45:30,817 Whoever formed the bridge would be annihilated. 2217 01:45:30,818 --> 01:45:31,552 I could live with that. 2218 01:45:31,554 --> 01:45:32,988 Yeah, I could live with that, too, actually. 2219 01:45:32,989 --> 01:45:34,389 You know, we survive anything. We're like cockroaches. 2220 01:45:34,390 --> 01:45:35,788 Not this time. 2221 01:45:35,789 --> 01:45:37,998 This is matter and anti-matter. 2222 01:45:38,000 --> 01:45:39,824 They do not play nicely with each other. 2223 01:45:39,826 --> 01:45:42,630 When they mix in your body, you will be atomized. 2224 01:45:42,631 --> 01:45:45,435 Trust the laws of physics if you don't trust me. 2225 01:45:45,435 --> 01:45:48,240 Even if you lived long enough to make the circuit, 2226 01:45:48,242 --> 01:45:51,738 you will die down there. 2227 01:46:16,037 --> 01:46:17,434 Hold off. Hold. 2228 01:46:17,435 --> 01:46:18,666 You heard that asshole upstairs. 2229 01:46:18,667 --> 01:46:23,639 Even if we pull this off, we're dead. Permanently. 2230 01:46:23,640 --> 01:46:26,939 - That's why it's got to be me. - What? 2231 01:46:29,942 --> 01:46:31,810 Look, man... 2232 01:46:31,811 --> 01:46:34,551 you didn't ask for any of this. 2233 01:46:34,551 --> 01:46:36,057 You were right. 2234 01:46:36,059 --> 01:46:37,586 I lied. 2235 01:46:37,587 --> 01:46:38,917 I lied right to your face 2236 01:46:38,917 --> 01:46:42,162 just to get you to help me. And you did. 2237 01:46:42,559 --> 01:46:44,659 You didn't lie. 2238 01:46:45,694 --> 01:46:47,960 You made an educated wish. 2239 01:46:50,632 --> 01:46:52,029 Come on. 2240 01:46:52,029 --> 01:46:55,033 You got a whole world to go back to. 2241 01:46:55,967 --> 01:46:57,738 I got nothin'. 2242 01:46:59,113 --> 01:47:00,873 I got nothin'. 2243 01:47:05,153 --> 01:47:06,912 Give me this. 2244 01:47:13,556 --> 01:47:15,130 Hey. 2245 01:47:18,430 --> 01:47:21,399 I waited a long time for this team-up. 2246 01:47:22,962 --> 01:47:24,898 You know something? 2247 01:47:25,832 --> 01:47:28,521 You were the best Wolverine. 2248 01:47:36,073 --> 01:47:38,944 Say hi to your friends for me. 2249 01:47:50,725 --> 01:47:51,627 No! 2250 01:47:51,627 --> 01:47:52,265 Open the door! 2251 01:47:52,265 --> 01:47:54,961 I can't hear you over all the noble sacrifice. 2252 01:47:54,962 --> 01:47:56,533 Why are you fucking doing this? 2253 01:47:56,533 --> 01:48:00,703 Because I'm Marvel Jesus. 2254 01:48:01,770 --> 01:48:03,277 Or Spock. 2255 01:48:03,936 --> 01:48:05,404 Hard to say. 2256 01:48:09,546 --> 01:48:11,663 Wade! 2257 01:48:11,664 --> 01:48:13,782 You fucking idiot! 2258 01:48:16,454 --> 01:48:19,490 Sorry, I'm just stalling. 2259 01:48:19,492 --> 01:48:22,395 I think I'm nervous about dying. 2260 01:48:22,626 --> 01:48:23,692 This should be me. 2261 01:48:23,693 --> 01:48:26,123 Say hi to my friends for me, peanut. 2262 01:48:26,125 --> 01:48:26,827 Wade! 2263 01:48:26,828 --> 01:48:28,962 You want to be an annoying prick, do it this side! 2264 01:48:28,962 --> 01:48:31,701 You're gonna die in there, you dumb fuck! 2265 01:48:38,103 --> 01:48:39,971 Hey! You don't need to do this. 2266 01:48:39,972 --> 01:48:43,042 I'm not doing it 'cause I need it. 2267 01:48:43,042 --> 01:48:45,846 I'm doing it because they do. 2268 01:48:56,693 --> 01:48:58,298 No! 2269 01:49:26,887 --> 01:49:29,154 He's not gonna make it. 2270 01:49:37,238 --> 01:49:38,998 It's over. 2271 01:49:51,649 --> 01:49:52,979 ♪ When you call my name ♪ 2272 01:49:52,980 --> 01:49:54,751 ♪ It's like a little prayer ♪ 2273 01:49:54,752 --> 01:49:56,654 ♪ I'm down on my knees ♪ 2274 01:49:56,654 --> 01:49:58,555 ♪ I want to take you there ♪ 2275 01:49:58,556 --> 01:50:02,461 ♪ In the midnight hour I can feel your power ♪ 2276 01:50:02,462 --> 01:50:06,862 ♪ Just like a prayer You know I'll take you there ♪ 2277 01:50:07,599 --> 01:50:10,551 ♪ Take you there ♪ 2278 01:50:10,552 --> 01:50:13,505 ♪ Life is a mystery ♪ 2279 01:50:13,506 --> 01:50:16,970 ♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪ 2280 01:50:17,872 --> 01:50:21,613 ♪ I hear you call my name ♪ 2281 01:50:21,613 --> 01:50:24,945 ♪ And it feels like ♪ 2282 01:50:25,847 --> 01:50:30,819 ♪ And it feels like home ♪ 2283 01:50:45,570 --> 01:50:48,154 The Wolverine. 2284 01:50:48,155 --> 01:50:50,740 He's a hero in my world. 2285 01:50:51,577 --> 01:50:53,238 Whoever you think I am, 2286 01:50:53,238 --> 01:50:55,382 you got the wrong guy. 2287 01:50:55,613 --> 01:50:58,782 You were always the wrong guy... 2288 01:50:59,519 --> 01:51:00,354 till you weren't. 2289 01:51:00,354 --> 01:51:03,016 ♪ Life is a mystery ♪ 2290 01:51:03,018 --> 01:51:04,115 Wade. 2291 01:51:04,117 --> 01:51:06,051 ♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪ 2292 01:51:06,052 --> 01:51:10,662 Wade. You can finally, finally matter. 2293 01:51:10,662 --> 01:51:12,993 ♪ I hear you call my name ♪ 2294 01:51:12,994 --> 01:51:18,340 ♪ And it feels like ♪ 2295 01:51:18,505 --> 01:51:21,023 ♪ Home ♪ 2296 01:51:23,542 --> 01:51:27,140 ♪ I hear your voice ♪ 2297 01:51:27,140 --> 01:51:27,842 Vanessa. 2298 01:51:27,844 --> 01:51:30,615 ♪ It's like an angel sighing ♪ 2299 01:51:30,617 --> 01:51:31,417 I wanna see Vanessa. 2300 01:51:31,418 --> 01:51:36,082 ♪ I have no choice I hear your voice ♪ 2301 01:51:36,083 --> 01:51:37,787 ♪ Feels like flying ♪ 2302 01:51:37,787 --> 01:51:43,827 For the first time in my life, I am proud to wear this suit. 2303 01:51:44,091 --> 01:51:46,730 It means I'm an X-Man. 2304 01:51:48,600 --> 01:51:49,568 I am the X-Man. 2305 01:51:49,569 --> 01:51:50,931 ♪ I can feel your power ♪ 2306 01:51:50,932 --> 01:51:55,773 ♪ Just like a prayer You know I'll take you there ♪ 2307 01:51:56,377 --> 01:51:59,842 ♪ When you call my name It's like a little prayer ♪ 2308 01:51:59,844 --> 01:52:02,878 ♪ I'm down on my knees ♪ 2309 01:52:03,484 --> 01:52:08,015 ♪ In the midnight hour I can feel your power ♪ 2310 01:52:08,016 --> 01:52:09,015 ♪ Just like a prayer ♪ 2311 01:52:09,016 --> 01:52:14,429 ♪ You know I'll take you, take you, take you ♪ 2312 01:52:34,108 --> 01:52:36,274 Paradox. 2313 01:52:37,484 --> 01:52:38,814 You've been busy. 2314 01:52:38,815 --> 01:52:39,650 Well, somebody had to be. 2315 01:52:39,652 --> 01:52:41,819 We had some strange readings from this location. 2316 01:52:41,819 --> 01:52:42,885 You wouldn't know anything about 2317 01:52:42,886 --> 01:52:45,002 an unsanctioned Time Ripper, would you? 2318 01:52:45,003 --> 01:52:46,930 Uh, no. No. I wouldn't know anything 2319 01:52:46,931 --> 01:52:48,912 about an unsanctioned Time Ripper. 2320 01:52:48,912 --> 01:52:50,894 Maybe you should ask Cassandra Nova. 2321 01:52:50,895 --> 01:52:51,662 Because I was assured 2322 01:52:51,663 --> 01:52:54,061 that she was safely held in The Void. But no, 2323 01:52:54,063 --> 01:52:55,997 she was here. And she fondled my brain. 2324 01:52:55,997 --> 01:52:58,737 - How did you let this happen? - You weren't involved at all? 2325 01:52:58,738 --> 01:53:01,805 In stopping her, yes! Yes, I was. 2326 01:53:01,806 --> 01:53:02,739 But not nearly enough. 2327 01:53:02,740 --> 01:53:06,448 Not as much as the men who went down there after her. 2328 01:53:06,778 --> 01:53:08,240 My men. 2329 01:53:08,515 --> 01:53:10,045 My friends. 2330 01:53:10,782 --> 01:53:11,408 I warned them. 2331 01:53:11,408 --> 01:53:13,212 That they would be completely obliterated if they went. 2332 01:53:13,213 --> 01:53:15,787 But they went anyway. Like... 2333 01:53:16,886 --> 01:53:17,985 Like heroes. 2334 01:53:20,154 --> 01:53:22,320 Because that's who they were. 2335 01:53:23,993 --> 01:53:26,765 They just did what they had to do. 2336 01:53:26,863 --> 01:53:29,768 With no concern for their own safety. 2337 01:53:31,935 --> 01:53:35,707 The fact that we are all still standing here 2338 01:53:35,708 --> 01:53:39,436 is a testament to their heroism. 2339 01:53:42,011 --> 01:53:43,782 Anyway, there's nothing you or I can do 2340 01:53:43,783 --> 01:53:45,685 to bring them back now. 2341 01:53:46,180 --> 01:53:48,853 He has risen, baby girl. 2342 01:53:48,854 --> 01:53:49,346 Fuck! 2343 01:53:49,347 --> 01:53:53,318 ♪ And I don't want the world to see me ♪ 2344 01:53:53,319 --> 01:53:58,323 ♪ 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand ♪ 2345 01:53:58,324 --> 01:54:03,483 ♪ When everything's made to be broken ♪ 2346 01:54:03,484 --> 01:54:06,645 ♪ I just want you to know who I am ♪ 2347 01:54:06,645 --> 01:54:09,806 Found your new Anchor Being. 2348 01:54:09,807 --> 01:54:12,578 And we're doing just fine, you piece of shit. 2349 01:54:12,579 --> 01:54:14,845 - Mm. - Mm-hmm. 2350 01:54:14,846 --> 01:54:15,614 Fine indeed. 2351 01:54:15,615 --> 01:54:19,146 All right. Put your greasy tits away, 2352 01:54:19,148 --> 01:54:20,015 you preening slut. 2353 01:54:20,015 --> 01:54:21,730 I don't understand. 2354 01:54:21,731 --> 01:54:23,447 How are you two still alive? 2355 01:54:23,448 --> 01:54:25,823 You were right. One of us would have been killed. 2356 01:54:25,824 --> 01:54:27,826 But you put a Deadpool 2357 01:54:27,827 --> 01:54:28,661 and a Wolverine together, 2358 01:54:28,662 --> 01:54:31,533 make 'em hold hands while listening to Madonna... 2359 01:54:31,533 --> 01:54:33,600 indestructible, motherfucker. 2360 01:54:33,600 --> 01:54:35,932 Let's get this Deadpool Variant back to The Void. 2361 01:54:35,934 --> 01:54:37,494 Wait, hold on. What? 2362 01:54:37,496 --> 01:54:38,494 Nope. Actually... 2363 01:54:38,496 --> 01:54:40,574 This one's homegrown, like me. 2364 01:54:40,576 --> 01:54:41,537 He belongs here. 2365 01:54:41,537 --> 01:54:42,498 And you are? 2366 01:54:42,500 --> 01:54:46,239 Peterpool. But you can call me Peter. 2367 01:54:47,076 --> 01:54:49,045 And I hope that you do. 2368 01:54:54,149 --> 01:54:56,118 What the fuck is happening here? 2369 01:54:56,118 --> 01:54:57,514 You are under judgment 2370 01:54:57,515 --> 01:54:59,725 for operating an unsanctioned Time Ripper. 2371 01:54:59,726 --> 01:55:01,090 - Take him. - I was just doing what 2372 01:55:01,091 --> 01:55:02,894 you don't have the guts to do. 2373 01:55:03,631 --> 01:55:07,426 Get your insolent hands off me! Get off! 2374 01:55:07,965 --> 01:55:10,363 I'm grateful, gentlemen. 2375 01:55:10,572 --> 01:55:11,296 Let's hold the bows. 2376 01:55:11,297 --> 01:55:13,838 You led an Omega-level mutant to this timeline. 2377 01:55:13,840 --> 01:55:15,456 - You're welcome. - And you 2378 01:55:15,457 --> 01:55:17,534 shouldn't even be near this timeline. 2379 01:55:17,536 --> 01:55:19,613 - He's welcome. - And you 2380 01:55:19,614 --> 01:55:21,715 look damn good in that suit. 2381 01:55:21,716 --> 01:55:23,376 I'm so sorry. 2382 01:55:26,951 --> 01:55:29,381 I wanna show you something. 2383 01:55:29,921 --> 01:55:30,514 Something huge. 2384 01:55:30,515 --> 01:55:33,726 That's what Scoutmaster Kevin used to say. 2385 01:55:34,694 --> 01:55:35,992 Do you see that? 2386 01:55:35,993 --> 01:55:38,698 Your universe is regenerating. 2387 01:55:38,863 --> 01:55:40,524 Whatever you did here, 2388 01:55:40,524 --> 01:55:42,702 you not only saved your world. 2389 01:55:42,703 --> 01:55:46,201 You spared your timeline from extinction. 2390 01:55:47,532 --> 01:55:48,136 I'd rest up. 2391 01:55:48,136 --> 01:55:50,743 I have a feeling your work is only just getting started. 2392 01:55:50,744 --> 01:55:53,570 Till you're 90. 2393 01:55:53,572 --> 01:55:54,439 Wait! Um... 2394 01:55:54,439 --> 01:55:58,311 We couldn't have made it out of The Void without some help 2395 01:55:58,313 --> 01:56:01,920 from some people that the world kind of... 2396 01:56:01,921 --> 01:56:02,512 kind of forgot. 2397 01:56:02,514 --> 01:56:05,759 Is there any way that you could maybe find a way 2398 01:56:05,760 --> 01:56:07,761 to bring them home? 2399 01:56:08,695 --> 01:56:09,487 I'll see what I can do. 2400 01:56:09,488 --> 01:56:12,506 And, um, I promised my friend here 2401 01:56:12,507 --> 01:56:15,527 that the TVA could undo some pretty awful shit 2402 01:56:15,528 --> 01:56:16,163 in his timeline. 2403 01:56:16,164 --> 01:56:17,935 What would you say to that? 2404 01:56:17,936 --> 01:56:18,869 Change the past? 2405 01:56:18,871 --> 01:56:21,136 Well, he did help me save the world. 2406 01:56:21,137 --> 01:56:24,778 And his past made him the man who did it. 2407 01:56:24,779 --> 01:56:28,176 There's nothing to fix, Mr. Wilson. 2408 01:56:29,112 --> 01:56:30,783 Logan. 2409 01:56:32,951 --> 01:56:35,987 - Shawarma? Yeah. - I could eat. 2410 01:56:44,489 --> 01:56:48,097 You know, the Avengers discovered shawarma. 2411 01:56:48,099 --> 01:56:50,804 They'd be lucky to have you. 2412 01:56:57,140 --> 01:56:59,747 - Oh. - Oh, come on. 2413 01:56:59,747 --> 01:57:01,275 Fuck off! 2414 01:57:01,573 --> 01:57:02,881 Come here, my little cunchkin. 2415 01:57:02,881 --> 01:57:04,752 Yes, it's you. 2416 01:57:04,752 --> 01:57:06,984 You're a survivor. 2417 01:57:06,985 --> 01:57:07,644 Mwah. 2418 01:57:07,645 --> 01:57:10,318 Oh, all is right in the world. 2419 01:57:11,021 --> 01:57:12,760 Yes, it is. 2420 01:57:13,551 --> 01:57:15,729 So what are you gonna do next? 2421 01:57:16,027 --> 01:57:19,228 I'll figure it out. I always do. 2422 01:57:19,524 --> 01:57:21,130 All right. 2423 01:57:21,131 --> 01:57:22,427 So I'll probably see you around? 2424 01:57:27,907 --> 01:57:29,667 Probably not. 2425 01:57:32,175 --> 01:57:33,945 See you, bub. 2426 01:57:42,855 --> 01:57:44,681 Logan. 2427 01:57:50,523 --> 01:57:52,056 Al. I'm back. 2428 01:57:52,057 --> 01:57:53,591 About damn time. 2429 01:57:53,591 --> 01:57:56,627 You holdin'? I'm all outta devil's dandruff, 2430 01:57:56,628 --> 01:57:58,938 and I'm shaking like an angry vibrator. 2431 01:57:58,939 --> 01:58:01,743 Thank you, Al. We have company. 2432 01:58:01,743 --> 01:58:03,243 Althea, this is... 2433 01:58:03,244 --> 01:58:04,744 This is Logan. 2434 01:58:04,746 --> 01:58:07,659 - Nice to meet you, Logan. - Nice to meet you, too. 2435 01:58:07,661 --> 01:58:10,576 And this little ancient anal shit-knot is Mary Puppins. 2436 01:58:10,577 --> 01:58:12,851 Or as I like to call her, Dogpool. 2437 01:58:12,853 --> 01:58:15,953 You want to treat yourself to a little stroke? 2438 01:58:15,954 --> 01:58:19,755 - Get the tongue. There it is. - Oh, my God! Motherfucker! 2439 01:58:19,756 --> 01:58:23,555 Right? It's like an armadillo fucked a gremlin, angrily, 2440 01:58:23,556 --> 01:58:25,127 - in a bed of gonorrhea... - Wow. 2441 01:58:25,128 --> 01:58:28,693 ...and didn't stop till the sun came up. 2442 01:58:28,902 --> 01:58:30,561 Everyone wants to matter. 2443 01:58:30,563 --> 01:58:34,171 Turns out that you don't need to be Marvel Jesus to do it. 2444 01:58:34,171 --> 01:58:37,944 You just need to open your eyes and look around. 2445 01:58:37,944 --> 01:58:39,845 And if you're lucky, 2446 01:58:39,846 --> 01:58:41,980 you'll find a few friends. 2447 01:58:41,981 --> 01:58:43,882 Old friends, 2448 01:58:43,884 --> 01:58:46,413 and some new ones too. 2449 01:58:49,890 --> 01:58:53,157 Give me the fucking dog. Talk to the girl. 2450 01:59:03,134 --> 01:59:04,002 Oh, hi. 2451 01:59:04,002 --> 01:59:05,938 Hi. 2452 01:59:07,819 --> 01:59:09,701 You've been busy. 2453 01:59:11,944 --> 01:59:14,177 I did it for you. 2454 01:59:14,672 --> 01:59:18,644 And even if you don't want me, I... I did it for you. 2455 01:59:27,190 --> 01:59:28,653 Turns out, 2456 01:59:28,654 --> 01:59:30,423 I am the world-saving type. 2457 01:59:30,425 --> 01:59:34,000 Just look around this table if you want proof. 2458 01:59:34,099 --> 01:59:35,836 And the best part? 2459 01:59:35,837 --> 01:59:38,729 Sometimes the people we save, 2460 01:59:38,730 --> 01:59:40,136 they save us right back. 2461 01:59:41,701 --> 01:59:45,537 ♪ We've got the right foundation ♪ 2462 01:59:45,538 --> 01:59:50,412 ♪ And with the love and determination ♪ 2463 01:59:50,412 --> 01:59:57,412 ♪ You're all, you're all I need ♪ 2464 02:00:01,720 --> 02:00:03,259 ♪ You're all ♪ 2465 02:00:03,260 --> 02:00:09,298 ♪ You're all I need to get by ♪ 2466 02:00:11,828 --> 02:00:14,797 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 2467 02:00:19,947 --> 02:00:22,840 You're not the only one with gifts. 2468 02:00:22,841 --> 02:00:24,809 What is this place? 2469 02:00:33,224 --> 02:00:38,261 ♪ Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road ♪ 2470 02:00:38,261 --> 02:00:43,860 ♪ Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go ♪ 2471 02:00:44,333 --> 02:00:48,502 ♪ So make the best of this test and don't ask why ♪ 2472 02:00:48,502 --> 02:00:52,671 ♪ It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time ♪ 2473 02:00:52,672 --> 02:00:54,206 - Nice suit. - Zip it, Stan Lee. 2474 02:00:54,207 --> 02:00:55,740 ♪ It's something unpredictable ♪ 2475 02:00:55,742 --> 02:00:57,841 ♪ But in the end is right ♪ 2476 02:00:57,841 --> 02:01:02,747 ♪ I hope you had the time of your life... ♪ 2477 02:01:03,319 --> 02:01:05,536 I really like the, uh... the art in the Deadpool comics. 2478 02:01:05,537 --> 02:01:07,997 You know, I just always felt a kind of a kinship to him. 2479 02:01:07,997 --> 02:01:10,457 And I just thought, I'd like to play that guy someday. 2480 02:01:10,458 --> 02:01:15,827 ♪ So take the photographs and still frames in your mind ♪ 2481 02:01:15,828 --> 02:01:20,832 ♪ Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time ♪ 2482 02:01:20,832 --> 02:01:25,979 ♪ Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial ♪ 2483 02:01:25,980 --> 02:01:28,949 ♪ For what it's worth, it was worth ♪ 2484 02:01:28,951 --> 02:01:31,876 ♪ All the while ♪ 2485 02:01:32,448 --> 02:01:33,811 ♪ It's something unpredictable ♪ 2486 02:01:33,813 --> 02:01:35,417 ♪ But in the end is right ♪ 2487 02:01:35,417 --> 02:01:39,157 ♪ I hope you had the time of your life... ♪ 2488 02:01:39,158 --> 02:01:43,063 I was there for three weeks before I shot a single thing. 2489 02:01:43,064 --> 02:01:45,461 At our first day of shooting, 2490 02:01:45,462 --> 02:01:46,791 I was so nervous, man. 2491 02:01:46,792 --> 02:01:49,002 Everyone was sort of going, "Who's this guy?" 2492 02:01:49,003 --> 02:01:50,867 You know, there was a lot of that and, 2493 02:01:50,868 --> 02:01:53,350 you know, "Is he gonna deliver or not?" 2494 02:01:53,350 --> 02:01:55,832 You can feel all that kind of pressure. 2495 02:01:55,833 --> 02:02:00,409 It's always the suit's fault. Never the actor. 2496 02:02:08,121 --> 02:02:09,319 - This is... - The only way. 2497 02:02:09,319 --> 02:02:12,025 ♪ It's something unpredictable ♪ 2498 02:02:12,027 --> 02:02:13,752 ♪ But in the end is right ♪ 2499 02:02:13,752 --> 02:02:18,791 ♪ I hope you had the time of your life ♪ 2500 02:02:18,792 --> 02:02:22,069 Ah, so this is what it feels like. 2501 02:02:23,828 --> 02:02:25,363 And there's the lights. 2502 02:02:25,363 --> 02:02:26,896 For medical research. 2503 02:02:26,898 --> 02:02:29,471 - Bye-bye, video. - Bye. 2504 02:06:42,527 --> 02:06:45,827 I'm tired of these absolutely vile rumors 2505 02:06:45,828 --> 02:06:47,895 that I got Johnny killed. 2506 02:06:48,092 --> 02:06:49,996 Let's look at the tape. 2507 02:06:50,600 --> 02:06:51,568 In The Void, 2508 02:06:51,569 --> 02:06:53,769 you're either food for Alioth 2509 02:06:53,770 --> 02:06:55,738 or you work for her. 2510 02:06:57,904 --> 02:06:59,037 Go on, Johnny. 2511 02:06:59,037 --> 02:07:01,171 And I'll tell you who "her" is. 2512 02:07:01,172 --> 02:07:01,775 Cassandra Nova. 2513 02:07:01,777 --> 02:07:03,695 A megalomaniacal, psychotic asshole. 2514 02:07:03,697 --> 02:07:05,614 A finger licking dead-inside pixie slab 2515 02:07:05,615 --> 02:07:08,014 of third rate dime-store nut-milk. And I'll tell you 2516 02:07:08,015 --> 02:07:09,768 - what she can do. - I'm listening. 2517 02:07:09,769 --> 02:07:11,327 She can lick my goddamn cinnamon ring clean 2518 02:07:11,328 --> 02:07:12,886 and kick rocks all the way to bald hell. 2519 02:07:12,886 --> 02:07:15,493 In fact, I don't give a shit if she removes all my skin 2520 02:07:15,494 --> 02:07:18,090 and pops me like some nightmarish blood balloon. 2521 02:07:18,091 --> 02:07:18,859 If the last thing I do 2522 02:07:18,859 --> 02:07:20,993 in this godforsaken cum-gutter existence 2523 02:07:20,994 --> 02:07:22,930 is light that fuck-box on fire, 2524 02:07:22,930 --> 02:07:23,666 I still won't die happy. 2525 02:07:23,667 --> 02:07:24,963 Holy shit, girl. You crazy. 2526 02:07:24,965 --> 02:07:28,198 That's right, Wade. I won't be happy until I've urinated 2527 02:07:28,199 --> 02:07:29,854 on her freshly barbecued corpse 2528 02:07:29,854 --> 02:07:31,649 and husk-fucked the charred remains 2529 02:07:31,650 --> 02:07:33,614 while gargling Juggernaut's juggernuts. 2530 02:07:33,615 --> 02:07:35,579 - Wow! - And you can quote me. 2531 02:07:35,581 --> 02:07:37,279 'Kay. 2532 02:07:37,279 --> 02:07:38,979 Got you, fuckface. 178726

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