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1
00:00:00,669 --> 00:00:04,266
[♪ Marvel Studios fanfare
playing]
2
00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:25,023
[Deadpool scatting along]
♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪
3
00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:27,729
♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪
4
00:00:27,730 --> 00:00:29,455
♪ Tan tan ta ♪
5
00:00:29,456 --> 00:00:30,660
♪ Tan tan tan tan ♪
6
00:00:30,661 --> 00:00:31,864
♪ Tan tan ta tan ♪
7
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,493
- ♪ Tan tan tan tan! ♪
- [♪ fanfare concludes]
8
00:00:33,494 --> 00:00:36,969
[laughs] That logo music
just gets you pumped.
9
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,167
- [♪ gentle music playing]
- Right?
10
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:42,007
I'm sorry. I just, I'm excited to be here.
It's been a while.
11
00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:42,908
You know, for a long time,
12
00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:45,142
I wasn't sure
I'd ever be back.
13
00:00:45,143 --> 00:00:45,911
Disney bought Fox,
14
00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:47,980
there was a whole
boring rights issue,
15
00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:48,782
blabbity-blabbity-blah.
16
00:00:48,783 --> 00:00:51,345
But then, it turned out,
they wanted me.
17
00:00:51,346 --> 00:00:54,756
The one guy who shouldn't
even have his own movie,
18
00:00:54,757 --> 00:00:56,119
much less a franchise.
19
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,155
[laughs] Marvel's so stupid.
20
00:00:59,156 --> 00:01:01,125
Look, we know the title
of this thing.
21
00:01:01,126 --> 00:01:03,193
So, I know
what you're wondering.
22
00:01:03,194 --> 00:01:04,061
How are we gonna do this
23
00:01:04,062 --> 00:01:07,868
without dishonoring
Logan's memory?
24
00:01:07,869 --> 00:01:09,936
And I'll tell you how.
25
00:01:10,134 --> 00:01:10,771
We're not.
26
00:01:10,772 --> 00:01:12,433
[♪ romantic music plays,
The Platters "Only You"]
27
00:01:12,434 --> 00:01:15,139
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.
28
00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:16,634
Wolverine is not dead.
29
00:01:16,635 --> 00:01:20,749
Sure, it made for a perfect
ending to a very sad story.
30
00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:21,507
But that's not how
31
00:01:21,508 --> 00:01:23,609
regenerative healing
factors work.
32
00:01:23,610 --> 00:01:24,818
You think
I wanna be out here
33
00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:26,644
in beautiful downtown
North Dakota,
34
00:01:26,645 --> 00:01:30,055
digging up the one and only
Wolverine? No, thank you.
35
00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:32,827
But the fate of
my entire world is at stake.
36
00:01:32,828 --> 00:01:34,653
He may not
be living his best life,
37
00:01:34,654 --> 00:01:37,040
but he sure as hell ain't
38
00:01:37,041 --> 00:01:39,427
- dead.
- [metal clanks]
39
00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:43,838
[crow cawing in distance]
40
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,367
Bingo.
41
00:01:45,807 --> 00:01:47,204
Yahtzee.
42
00:01:48,106 --> 00:01:49,700
[sighs]
43
00:01:49,701 --> 00:01:53,342
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
44
00:01:56,609 --> 00:01:57,917
Damn it!
45
00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:01,746
- Son of a bitch!
- [metal clangs]
46
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,088
You...
47
00:02:04,089 --> 00:02:06,124
- [shovel snaps]
- [yelling]
48
00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:09,060
Christ. Motherfucker!
49
00:02:09,061 --> 00:02:10,898
- My world is fuck...
- [♪ song stops]
50
00:02:10,899 --> 00:02:14,099
[laughs, snorts]
That was weird.
51
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:14,835
I'm much calmer now.
52
00:02:14,836 --> 00:02:16,530
[♪ The Platter "Only You"
resumes playing]
53
00:02:16,531 --> 00:02:19,466
Look, I'm not a man
of science.
54
00:02:19,467 --> 00:02:22,976
But you seem
incredibly passed away.
55
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,011
[flies buzzing]
56
00:02:25,242 --> 00:02:26,143
[sighs]
57
00:02:26,144 --> 00:02:26,880
But it's good to see ya.
58
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:30,819
I gotta be honest,
I've always wanted to ride with you, Log.
59
00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:31,742
You and me getting into it.
60
00:02:31,743 --> 00:02:35,714
Deadpool and Wolverine
just fuckin' shit up.
61
00:02:35,715 --> 00:02:39,619
Can you imagine the fun,
the chaos...
62
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:41,059
the residuals?
63
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:42,192
[in Australian accent]
"G'day, mate.
64
00:02:42,193 --> 00:02:44,459
"There's nothing that'll
bring me back to life faster
65
00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:47,098
"than a big bag
of Marvel cash."
66
00:02:47,099 --> 00:02:50,729
[chuckles, in normal tone]
Me too, Hugh.
67
00:02:50,730 --> 00:02:53,104
But, no. No, no, no.
68
00:02:53,105 --> 00:02:57,736
[groans] You had to get
all noble and die for real.
69
00:02:57,737 --> 00:03:00,046
Goddamn it!
70
00:03:00,508 --> 00:03:03,885
I could really use
your help right now.
71
00:03:03,886 --> 00:03:06,151
[electrical whirring]
72
00:03:10,485 --> 00:03:13,290
[♪ tense music playing]
73
00:03:14,225 --> 00:03:15,863
Wait!
74
00:03:15,864 --> 00:03:17,965
I'm warning you,
I'm not alone.
75
00:03:17,966 --> 00:03:19,559
Wade Winston Wilson,
76
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,662
you are under arrest by
the Time Variance Authority...
77
00:03:22,663 --> 00:03:23,530
[Deadpool sniffs] Oof.
78
00:03:23,531 --> 00:03:24,768
...for too many crimes
to list.
79
00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:25,920
- Come out...
- [Deadpool groans]
80
00:03:25,921 --> 00:03:27,072
...and we'll extend you
the courtesy
81
00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:30,043
- of taking you in one piece.
- Death by day-player.
82
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,142
Last chance.
83
00:03:31,143 --> 00:03:31,912
Throw out your weapons
84
00:03:31,913 --> 00:03:34,046
- and come out peacefully.
- [Deadpool sighs]
85
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,181
[Deadpool] I'm not gonna
give you my weapons,
86
00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:38,776
but I promise not to use them.
87
00:03:38,777 --> 00:03:41,262
There are two hundred and six
bones in the human body.
88
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:43,749
Two hundred and seven
if I'm watching Gossip Girl.
89
00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:45,701
[♪ pop music playing,
*NSYNC "Bye Bye Bye"]
90
00:03:45,702 --> 00:03:47,654
- Here we go. Maximum effort.
- ♪ Hey, hey ♪
91
00:03:47,655 --> 00:03:49,359
[♪ song stops]
92
00:03:51,790 --> 00:03:54,969
- ♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
93
00:03:54,970 --> 00:03:55,595
Okay, peanut.
94
00:03:55,596 --> 00:03:58,335
Guess we're getting
that team-up after all.
95
00:03:58,632 --> 00:04:02,075
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
96
00:04:05,837 --> 00:04:06,309
[grunts]
97
00:04:06,310 --> 00:04:08,146
♪ I'm doing this tonight ♪
98
00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:10,985
♪ You're probably gonna
start a fight ♪
99
00:04:10,986 --> 00:04:11,578
[screaming]
100
00:04:11,579 --> 00:04:13,988
♪ I know this can't be right ♪
101
00:04:13,989 --> 00:04:16,639
♪ Hey, baby, come on ♪
102
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,289
♪ I loved you endlessly ♪
103
00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:21,687
♪ When you weren't
there for me ♪
104
00:04:21,688 --> 00:04:27,727
♪ So now it's time to leave
and make it alone ♪
105
00:04:27,728 --> 00:04:30,697
♪ I know that
I can't take no more ♪
106
00:04:30,698 --> 00:04:32,204
[smooches]
107
00:04:32,633 --> 00:04:33,204
[exhales]
108
00:04:33,205 --> 00:04:35,668
♪ I wanna see you
out that door ♪
109
00:04:35,669 --> 00:04:38,309
- ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
110
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:40,376
♪ Don't wanna be
a fool for you ♪
111
00:04:40,377 --> 00:04:43,748
♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪
112
00:04:43,749 --> 00:04:46,649
♪ You may hate me,
but it ain't no lie ♪
113
00:04:46,650 --> 00:04:49,551
- ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
114
00:04:49,552 --> 00:04:51,618
♪ Don't really wanna
make it tough ♪
115
00:04:51,619 --> 00:04:55,204
♪ I just wanna tell you
that I've had enough ♪
116
00:04:55,205 --> 00:04:58,791
♪ It might sound crazy,
but it ain't no lie ♪
117
00:04:58,792 --> 00:05:02,761
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
118
00:05:02,762 --> 00:05:04,862
♪ Just hit me with the truth ♪
119
00:05:04,863 --> 00:05:07,503
♪ Now, girl, you're more
than welcome to ♪
120
00:05:07,504 --> 00:05:10,143
Maradona from outside the box!
121
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:12,573
Goal!
122
00:05:12,574 --> 00:05:13,574
♪ Baby, come on ♪
123
00:05:13,575 --> 00:05:16,209
♪ I know that
I can't take no more ♪
124
00:05:16,210 --> 00:05:18,844
- ♪ It ain't no lie ♪
- [both yelling]
125
00:05:18,845 --> 00:05:21,648
♪ I wanna see you
out that door ♪
126
00:05:21,649 --> 00:05:24,355
- ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
127
00:05:24,356 --> 00:05:26,488
♪ Don't wanna be
a fool for you ♪
128
00:05:26,489 --> 00:05:29,640
♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪
129
00:05:29,641 --> 00:05:32,569
♪ You may hate me,
but it ain't no lie ♪
130
00:05:32,570 --> 00:05:35,498
- ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
131
00:05:35,499 --> 00:05:37,664
♪ Don't really wanna
make it tough ♪
132
00:05:37,665 --> 00:05:41,201
♪ I just wanna tell you
that I had enough ♪
133
00:05:41,202 --> 00:05:44,738
♪ Might sound crazy,
but it ain't no lie ♪
134
00:05:44,739 --> 00:05:48,313
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
135
00:05:50,678 --> 00:05:54,022
♪ I don't wanna be your fool ♪
136
00:05:54,023 --> 00:05:56,683
♪ In this game for two ♪
137
00:05:56,684 --> 00:05:59,654
♪ So I'm leavin' you behind ♪
138
00:05:59,655 --> 00:06:01,061
Come on, big fella.
139
00:06:01,062 --> 00:06:02,590
♪ Bye, bye, bye, yeah ♪
140
00:06:02,591 --> 00:06:05,429
♪ I don't wanna
make it tough ♪
141
00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:07,298
♪ But I've had enough ♪
142
00:06:07,299 --> 00:06:11,468
- ♪ And it ain't no lie ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
143
00:06:11,469 --> 00:06:12,270
♪ Baby ♪
144
00:06:12,271 --> 00:06:13,733
♪ Don't wanna be
a fool for you ♪
145
00:06:13,734 --> 00:06:15,504
♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪
146
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:20,345
♪ I don't wanna be your fool,
but it ain't no lie ♪
147
00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:22,842
- ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
148
00:06:22,843 --> 00:06:24,645
♪ Don't really wanna
make it tough ♪
149
00:06:24,646 --> 00:06:28,132
♪ I just wanna tell you
that I had enough ♪
150
00:06:28,133 --> 00:06:31,295
♪ Might sound crazy,
but it ain't no lie ♪
151
00:06:31,296 --> 00:06:33,927
- ♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
152
00:06:33,928 --> 00:06:36,559
- [♪ song ends]
- [gasps dramatically]
153
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,848
[♪ operatic music playing]
154
00:06:39,849 --> 00:06:43,137
I am soaking wet right now.
155
00:06:44,105 --> 00:06:44,863
[roars]
156
00:06:44,864 --> 00:06:47,784
To be clear, I'm not proud
of any of this.
157
00:06:47,785 --> 00:06:50,705
The wanton violence,
the whiff of necrophilia.
158
00:06:50,706 --> 00:06:51,738
It isn't who I am.
159
00:06:51,739 --> 00:06:53,543
It isn't who I wanna be.
160
00:06:53,544 --> 00:06:54,213
Who I wanna be?
161
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,447
Well, to help you
understand that,
162
00:06:56,448 --> 00:06:57,348
I've gotta take you back.
163
00:06:57,349 --> 00:06:59,846
A little joyride I took
through space and time,
164
00:06:59,847 --> 00:07:03,091
to the day
that changed everything.
165
00:07:03,092 --> 00:07:06,094
[♪ uptempo music building]
166
00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:14,761
[♪ music fades out]
167
00:07:14,762 --> 00:07:16,466
I can't believe
I'm finally here.
168
00:07:16,467 --> 00:07:20,306
I've waited for this moment
for so long.
169
00:07:20,669 --> 00:07:23,870
Thank you, sir, for seeing me.
170
00:07:23,871 --> 00:07:25,904
I... I firmly believe
171
00:07:25,905 --> 00:07:27,725
that my services could be of
172
00:07:27,726 --> 00:07:29,546
great use
to your organization.
173
00:07:29,547 --> 00:07:30,150
Now, I know
174
00:07:30,151 --> 00:07:32,417
I was caught smashturbating
in the lobby of Stark Tower,
175
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:33,847
- but I can assure you that...
- Smashturbating?
176
00:07:33,848 --> 00:07:34,913
I'm sorry, what...
what was that?
177
00:07:34,914 --> 00:07:39,050
No, I'm sorry. That...
That's when you get those toy,
178
00:07:39,051 --> 00:07:39,753
Hulk hands, right?
179
00:07:39,754 --> 00:07:42,338
And then you just, you look
down, and you just...
180
00:07:42,339 --> 00:07:44,923
you brace yourself,
and you ravage the midsection.
181
00:07:44,924 --> 00:07:46,926
- Pinch the... Yeah. Okay.
- I get it. Okay, thank you.
182
00:07:46,927 --> 00:07:48,928
- The picture's painted.
- You get the gist.
183
00:07:48,929 --> 00:07:51,634
Uh, what exactly
brings you here today?
184
00:07:51,635 --> 00:07:55,099
Why am I... Wow. Okay. Uh...
185
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,000
I... I care.
186
00:07:56,001 --> 00:08:00,104
I know I turn everything
into a joke, but I...
187
00:08:00,973 --> 00:08:04,845
I care, and I wanna use
that feeling...
188
00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:06,797
for something important.
189
00:08:06,798 --> 00:08:08,584
I... I wanna matter.
190
00:08:08,585 --> 00:08:11,048
[♪ solemn music playing]
191
00:08:11,049 --> 00:08:14,085
I need to show my girl
that I matter.
192
00:08:14,954 --> 00:08:15,954
And...
193
00:08:15,955 --> 00:08:17,561
You know,
I feel like I'm wasting
194
00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:18,297
the good stuff here.
195
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,992
Is the man not gonna
be joining us?
196
00:08:19,993 --> 00:08:20,761
- The man?
- Yeah.
197
00:08:20,762 --> 00:08:22,598
I should save this
if he's gonna...
198
00:08:22,599 --> 00:08:25,206
Uh, as far as you're concerned
right now, I'm the man.
199
00:08:25,207 --> 00:08:26,569
- No.
- The man is me.
200
00:08:26,570 --> 00:08:29,837
I am the man
in this circumstance.
201
00:08:29,838 --> 00:08:31,035
- Mm.
- He doesn't do
202
00:08:31,036 --> 00:08:32,741
this kind of thing anymore.
203
00:08:32,742 --> 00:08:33,510
- Cameos?
- Meetings.
204
00:08:33,511 --> 00:08:35,645
- Meetings.
- Entry-level meetings.
205
00:08:35,646 --> 00:08:36,249
Entry-level?
206
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,009
Aren't you the chauffeur...
207
00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:40,419
- maybe?
- I... Common misconception.
208
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,014
- Okay.
- I did begin my career
209
00:08:42,015 --> 00:08:43,586
as Mr. Stark's driver.
210
00:08:43,587 --> 00:08:44,587
- Okay.
- Quickly pivoted to...
211
00:08:44,588 --> 00:08:46,353
- Chauffeur.
- ...the Head of Security.
212
00:08:46,354 --> 00:08:48,119
The Head of...
Of course, yes, yes, yes.
213
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,956
And why I am vetting
your resume.
214
00:08:50,957 --> 00:08:53,498
You seem to have left out
whether or not you had
215
00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:55,632
any experience
as a member of a team.
216
00:08:55,633 --> 00:08:56,368
Could you maybe add
217
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,468
a little bit
of perspective there?
218
00:08:57,469 --> 00:09:00,098
Oh. No, yes, of course.
I was Special Forces...
219
00:09:00,099 --> 00:09:01,451
- Okay.
- ...but I was...
220
00:09:01,452 --> 00:09:02,562
Mainly, I was team leader...
221
00:09:02,563 --> 00:09:03,672
founder, really, of X-Force.
222
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,939
Sadly, they... they all
perished in action though.
223
00:09:05,940 --> 00:09:07,104
Oh. How exactly
did that happen?
224
00:09:07,105 --> 00:09:09,073
Well, the police say gravity,
but if...
225
00:09:09,074 --> 00:09:11,043
Just between us,
they didn't test well
226
00:09:11,044 --> 00:09:12,797
- in the focus group.
- I see.
227
00:09:12,798 --> 00:09:14,552
- Particularly Cable.
- X-Force.
228
00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:15,255
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
229
00:09:15,256 --> 00:09:16,438
Look, I can see
this isn't going well.
230
00:09:16,439 --> 00:09:18,580
Please stop writing.
Look, I... I...
231
00:09:18,581 --> 00:09:20,723
I'm just...
I wanna be an Avenger.
232
00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:24,122
I wanna be an Avenger.
233
00:09:24,859 --> 00:09:26,761
Why do you wanna be
an Avenger?
234
00:09:26,762 --> 00:09:28,533
Look around you.
I mean, they're the...
235
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:30,364
they're the best of the best.
236
00:09:30,365 --> 00:09:32,196
And... And what
they do matters.
237
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,098
I need to be an Avenger.
238
00:09:34,099 --> 00:09:36,937
Sir, my girl has kinda had it
with my shtick,
239
00:09:36,938 --> 00:09:37,838
and I... if I don't, you know,
240
00:09:37,839 --> 00:09:40,390
turn things around and
do something with my "gifts,"
241
00:09:40,391 --> 00:09:42,943
I don't think it's gonna
really work out for me,
242
00:09:42,944 --> 00:09:44,977
and I wouldn't blame her.
243
00:09:44,978 --> 00:09:49,884
Avengers are a very unique
group of superheroes
244
00:09:49,885 --> 00:09:50,620
that stand for something
245
00:09:50,621 --> 00:09:53,755
more than just fighting
and wearing costumes.
246
00:09:53,756 --> 00:09:56,891
I mean, people look up to us.
Kids look up to us.
247
00:09:56,892 --> 00:09:57,891
- They...
- I'm sorry. "Us"?
248
00:09:57,892 --> 00:10:00,697
I wasn't aware
that you were an Avenger.
249
00:10:00,698 --> 00:10:01,929
Avengers-adjacent, technically.
250
00:10:01,930 --> 00:10:03,160
Oh, wow.
What's your superpower?
251
00:10:03,161 --> 00:10:06,274
Is it parallel parking?
I am so sorry.
252
00:10:06,275 --> 00:10:06,867
That was cruel.
253
00:10:06,868 --> 00:10:09,706
I lash out when I'm nervous.
Won't happen again.
254
00:10:09,707 --> 00:10:11,169
- Let's cut to the chase.
- Please.
255
00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:12,411
You just said moments ago
256
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:15,877
that you wanted to be
an Avenger because
257
00:10:15,878 --> 00:10:17,043
you need it.
258
00:10:17,044 --> 00:10:18,208
Yes, sir, I do.
259
00:10:18,209 --> 00:10:20,013
But the Avengers
don't do the job
260
00:10:20,014 --> 00:10:21,079
because they need it.
261
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:24,325
They do the job
because people need them.
262
00:10:24,688 --> 00:10:27,020
Do you see the distinction?
263
00:10:28,153 --> 00:10:30,221
Yes, sir.
264
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,529
Please, Mr. Hogan.
265
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:32,927
I don't wanna spend
the rest of my life
266
00:10:32,928 --> 00:10:36,062
like an annoying
one-trick pony.
267
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,966
All right.
268
00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:41,572
Oh, my God, you're standing.
269
00:10:41,573 --> 00:10:43,740
Yeah, now's the time
that we stand.
270
00:10:43,741 --> 00:10:44,201
Damn it.
271
00:10:44,202 --> 00:10:46,038
Now, the problem
might be that you're
272
00:10:46,039 --> 00:10:47,875
reaching a little...
little too high.
273
00:10:47,876 --> 00:10:50,615
Aim for the middle,
and you'll never miss.
274
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:51,979
Right?
I think you got a good heart.
275
00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:53,584
I believe what you're saying.
276
00:10:53,585 --> 00:10:55,719
But not everybody's
the world-saving type.
277
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,056
I'm not, and I'm happy.
278
00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:00,394
Right? I found my place.
279
00:11:00,724 --> 00:11:02,659
Find your place.
280
00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:04,694
All right? Get back out there.
281
00:11:04,695 --> 00:11:06,796
- We'll keep an eye on you.
- Okay.
282
00:11:06,797 --> 00:11:08,292
Good luck.
283
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:11,184
- [Wade Wilson] Mm. Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
284
00:11:11,185 --> 00:11:13,902
Fetch the car.
I wanna hit Shake Shack.
285
00:11:13,903 --> 00:11:16,201
Rejection makes me hungy.
286
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,175
- No, no. Please.
- No?
287
00:11:18,176 --> 00:11:19,875
- Yeah, no, no, no.
- Okay.
288
00:11:19,876 --> 00:11:21,679
Okay, thank you.
289
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,550
[Deadpool]
You know what they say.
290
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,816
When one door closes,
291
00:11:27,014 --> 00:11:29,499
your locker at work opens.
292
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:31,986
[♪ rousing music playing]
293
00:11:32,217 --> 00:11:34,153
[stapling]
294
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,164
Now let's go sell
some certified
295
00:11:40,165 --> 00:11:41,831
pre-owned vehicles,
motherfu...
296
00:11:41,832 --> 00:11:43,535
[♪ music stops]
297
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:48,002
Technically, the...
the Carnival's not a minivan.
298
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,233
It's an MPV.
299
00:11:49,234 --> 00:11:51,841
So how does the Kia compare
to the Honda Odyssey?
300
00:11:51,842 --> 00:11:53,171
The Odyssey?
That's a great question.
301
00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:55,173
- Um, it doesn't fucking suck.
- [boy snickers]
302
00:11:55,174 --> 00:11:57,715
You know, you can answer
the question without swearing.
303
00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:00,685
I'm sorry, Tammy, I don't...
I don't have kids.
304
00:12:00,686 --> 00:12:03,187
Not that I haven't
dreamt of that,
305
00:12:03,188 --> 00:12:05,690
but I don't have
a lot of vaginal sex.
306
00:12:07,824 --> 00:12:08,989
[Peter] You'll get 'em
next time, pal.
307
00:12:08,990 --> 00:12:10,155
- [Wade] Yeah.
- [Peter] And look,
308
00:12:10,156 --> 00:12:11,662
you can always go back
to superhero-ing.
309
00:12:11,663 --> 00:12:14,297
I mean, I know I'd like
to see you back in the suit.
310
00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:16,931
I don't keep it in my locker
so that I can wear it.
311
00:12:16,932 --> 00:12:19,869
I keep it in my locker in case
we need to saddle up again.
312
00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:23,741
Hey, hey, hey.
What is that doing in there?
313
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:25,336
I'm done.
314
00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:28,074
I'm done.
315
00:12:28,075 --> 00:12:30,126
And I'm fine with being done.
316
00:12:30,127 --> 00:12:32,178
Look, is sales the best match?
317
00:12:32,179 --> 00:12:32,815
Probably not.
318
00:12:32,816 --> 00:12:36,754
Is this the life that I always
imagined for myself? Fuck no.
319
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:40,527
But this is the right fit
for me, Sugar Bear, it is.
320
00:12:40,528 --> 00:12:41,890
Okay, Mr. Wilson.
321
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,711
I'm just saying,
once a month,
322
00:12:43,712 --> 00:12:45,531
we could go
on a little mission.
323
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:48,700
We're human beings.
We crave purpose.
324
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:49,997
After all, we're Deadpool.
325
00:12:49,998 --> 00:12:52,935
Please stop saying that.
We're not Deadpool.
326
00:12:52,936 --> 00:12:54,804
I'm not even Deadpool anymore.
327
00:12:54,805 --> 00:12:58,105
Well, if you're gonna have
a midlife crisis, go big.
328
00:12:58,106 --> 00:12:59,776
A few years ago,
a friend of mine
329
00:12:59,777 --> 00:13:02,829
got his nipples pierced
with a titanium chain
330
00:13:02,830 --> 00:13:05,882
that goes down and attaches
to his Van Johnson.
331
00:13:05,883 --> 00:13:07,752
[camera clicking]
332
00:13:09,490 --> 00:13:11,789
Are... Are you feeling
grumplestiltskin
333
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:13,989
'cause it's your birthday?
334
00:13:15,122 --> 00:13:16,761
What?
335
00:13:17,025 --> 00:13:18,422
No.
336
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:20,666
No.
337
00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:25,549
- Surprise!
- [♪ hip-hop music plays]
338
00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:28,399
Hey, you guys are lucky
I'm not armed.
339
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:29,201
Get in here.
340
00:13:29,202 --> 00:13:31,710
If this were six years ago,
you'd all be dead.
341
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,646
So then,
he gets out of the cab,
342
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:34,646
and you will not believe it.
343
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,527
I turn around,
and what do I find?
344
00:13:36,528 --> 00:13:38,409
- AirPods. His AirPods.
- His AirPods!
345
00:13:38,410 --> 00:13:39,343
- Come on.
- Crazy story.
346
00:13:39,344 --> 00:13:43,216
- Every time. Come on.
- [laughing] Every single time.
347
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:44,590
[Wade sighs]
348
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:45,839
Make any sales today?
349
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,087
You know I didn't.
350
00:13:47,088 --> 00:13:48,991
Did you sell
any dreamcatchers on Etsy
351
00:13:48,992 --> 00:13:50,596
or whatever it is
that you do?
352
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,566
Our rent's due
in three days, Wade.
353
00:13:52,567 --> 00:13:53,880
I can't keep carrying you.
354
00:13:53,881 --> 00:13:55,194
Relax. I have the money.
355
00:13:55,195 --> 00:13:58,132
I sold some old
blood pressure medication
356
00:13:58,133 --> 00:13:59,066
I found lying around.
357
00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:00,672
You tryin' to kill me, motherfucker?
358
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,576
I'm not the one
dousing everything in salt,
359
00:14:02,577 --> 00:14:05,205
- motherfucker.
- I pray every day
360
00:14:05,206 --> 00:14:07,008
that fire finds your body
361
00:14:07,009 --> 00:14:09,027
and finishes the job
God didn't have
362
00:14:09,028 --> 00:14:10,971
- the nuts to do.
- That's hurtful.
363
00:14:10,972 --> 00:14:12,916
If you could hear
the look on my face,
364
00:14:12,917 --> 00:14:14,384
you'd smell how sad I am.
365
00:14:14,385 --> 00:14:16,119
You watched anything good?
366
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,855
Great British Bake Off.
367
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:18,481
Oh, goddamn.
368
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:21,105
That show stood between me
and suicide for 10 years.
369
00:14:21,106 --> 00:14:23,729
Those are my feelings on
abortion, religious freedom,
370
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,895
animal rights,
privacy rights, vaccines,
371
00:14:25,896 --> 00:14:28,678
free-market capitalism,
global climate change.
372
00:14:28,679 --> 00:14:31,462
Yeah, duh-duh-duh.
No, no speaking lines, Buck.
373
00:14:31,463 --> 00:14:33,684
- Hi, Yukio.
- Hi, Wade.
374
00:14:33,685 --> 00:14:35,905
Nice fake o'clock shadow.
375
00:14:35,906 --> 00:14:38,743
It's a summer balayage.
From the French.
376
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:42,814
It's meant to mimic
the natural highlights of the sun.
377
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,849
- It's a toupee.
- It's a hair system.
378
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:47,555
I love your hair system, Wade.
379
00:14:47,556 --> 00:14:48,720
Thank you. Heh.
380
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:49,479
Wanna do some cocaine?
381
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,956
Hey, cocaine is the one thing
that Feige said is off limits.
382
00:14:52,957 --> 00:14:54,594
What about
Bolivian marching powder?
383
00:14:54,595 --> 00:14:56,894
They know all the slang terms.
They have a list.
384
00:14:56,895 --> 00:14:59,193
- Even snowboarding?
- Even disco dust.
385
00:14:59,194 --> 00:14:59,962
White girl interrupted?
386
00:14:59,963 --> 00:15:01,282
- Even Forrest Bump.
- Booger sugar?
387
00:15:01,283 --> 00:15:02,602
I wouldn't even try
powdered gonuts.
388
00:15:02,603 --> 00:15:07,366
- Do you wanna build a snowman?
- Yes. But I can't.
389
00:15:08,466 --> 00:15:09,609
Pull here.
390
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:10,643
- Here?
- Yeah. [gasps]
391
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:11,611
- [Yukio yelps]
- [laughter]
392
00:15:11,612 --> 00:15:14,307
- [Dopinder] What happened?
- That's the fun part.
393
00:15:15,011 --> 00:15:16,584
Thanks for coming.
394
00:15:16,585 --> 00:15:17,617
Yeah.
395
00:15:17,618 --> 00:15:18,651
How's work?
396
00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:20,720
Oh, I got a promotion.
397
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:21,544
No way.
398
00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:25,450
Yeah. It's mind-numbing middle
management, but I'm happy.
399
00:15:25,451 --> 00:15:27,089
That's great.
400
00:15:27,859 --> 00:15:30,323
- You, uh, seeing anyone?
- How about you?
401
00:15:30,829 --> 00:15:32,665
Um... Yeah.
402
00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:35,603
A guy from work. Dermot.
403
00:15:35,604 --> 00:15:36,526
Dermot.
404
00:15:36,527 --> 00:15:38,066
- He's kind.
- Good.
405
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,606
Likes to go hiking.
406
00:15:39,607 --> 00:15:41,586
Hasn't gotten me shot yet.
407
00:15:41,587 --> 00:15:43,567
Well, it's the early days.
408
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,679
[Vanessa chuckles]
409
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:49,573
What about you?
You seeing anyone?
410
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:50,177
[Wade] Mm...
411
00:15:50,178 --> 00:15:51,982
No, no, I live
in a one-bedroom apartment.
412
00:15:51,983 --> 00:15:54,314
I share a bed with Blind Al.
413
00:15:55,051 --> 00:15:56,953
- Okay.
- [laughs]
414
00:15:56,954 --> 00:15:59,253
- All right.
- All right.
415
00:15:59,550 --> 00:16:02,239
[all] ♪ Happy birthday
to you ♪
416
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,085
- Speech! Speech!
- [Yukio] Yes!
417
00:16:05,086 --> 00:16:07,932
All right.
Okay, okay, okay. Uh...
418
00:16:08,196 --> 00:16:08,965
Birthdays.
419
00:16:08,966 --> 00:16:10,836
Boy, every spin
around the moon
420
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:11,704
is a new adventure indeed.
421
00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:14,939
- Sun, dumbass.
- Okay, round-earther.
422
00:16:15,236 --> 00:16:17,909
- Where was I?
- The adventure of life.
423
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:18,601
Right. Um...
424
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,339
It's been
a challenging few years.
425
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:22,077
Haven't seen you guys
in a while.
426
00:16:22,078 --> 00:16:24,563
Been through a lot,
uh, change of life.
427
00:16:24,564 --> 00:16:27,050
- Menopause?
- Bitch, are you improv-ing?
428
00:16:27,051 --> 00:16:28,820
- Mm-mm.
- Sorry.
429
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,724
[softly] I'm sorry that
you had to see that, Yukio.
430
00:16:30,725 --> 00:16:33,694
- [softly] It's okay.
- Yeah.
431
00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:35,761
[sighs] But I'm happy.
432
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:36,894
You know, and that's... that's
433
00:16:36,895 --> 00:16:39,347
because of each
and every one of you.
434
00:16:39,348 --> 00:16:41,542
I guess,
what I'm trying to say is
435
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,737
how proud I am,
how grateful I am
436
00:16:43,738 --> 00:16:44,803
to be standing in a room
437
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:48,236
with every single
person I love.
438
00:16:48,237 --> 00:16:51,140
[♪ soft music playing]
439
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:55,683
I'm the luckiest man alive.
440
00:16:55,684 --> 00:16:57,179
[chuckles]
441
00:16:57,575 --> 00:16:58,311
Make a wish, buddy.
442
00:16:58,312 --> 00:17:01,513
Ten-four, good buddy.
[chuckles]
443
00:17:01,514 --> 00:17:03,152
Going down.
444
00:17:05,957 --> 00:17:07,695
[knock at door]
445
00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:09,861
Wade Wilson?
446
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,961
Oh, yeah. Dancers.
447
00:17:10,962 --> 00:17:12,732
Dopinder must have
ordered you.
448
00:17:12,733 --> 00:17:15,032
Are those supposed
to be cop costumes?
449
00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:15,900
Never mind.
450
00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:18,596
Take your clothes off
but leave the helmets.
451
00:17:18,597 --> 00:17:20,185
And this isn't Pretty Woman.
452
00:17:20,186 --> 00:17:21,774
We're kissing. All right?
453
00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:24,811
What song do you guys
normally dance to?
454
00:17:24,812 --> 00:17:28,210
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
455
00:17:28,211 --> 00:17:29,375
Is that supposed to be scary?
456
00:17:29,376 --> 00:17:31,675
Pegging isn't new for me, friendo.
457
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:33,127
But it is for Disney.
458
00:17:33,128 --> 00:17:34,578
Ah, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta!
459
00:17:34,579 --> 00:17:36,597
Okay, I've never been
a natural bottom,
460
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:38,778
so we're gonna
take things real slow.
461
00:17:38,779 --> 00:17:40,959
And I want some
crazy eye contact.
462
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:41,618
Not you.
You.
463
00:17:41,619 --> 00:17:43,962
Can't see your eyes through the mask,
but I can feel them.
464
00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:45,523
We're gonna move on
down the hallway
465
00:17:45,524 --> 00:17:47,658
so we can spare a cleanup
on aisle asshole.
466
00:17:47,659 --> 00:17:49,561
How's everyone feel
about this plan?
467
00:17:49,562 --> 00:17:50,264
I don't like you.
468
00:17:50,265 --> 00:17:52,597
Yes. Let's hold on
to that attitude.
469
00:17:52,598 --> 00:17:54,808
And we're gonna do it angry.
470
00:17:54,809 --> 00:17:56,370
[grunts]
471
00:17:57,272 --> 00:17:58,878
[grunts]
472
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:04,576
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
473
00:18:04,577 --> 00:18:06,710
[Wade moans softly]
474
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,646
[Wade grunts]
475
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:14,388
[Voice] Mr. Wilson...
476
00:18:14,762 --> 00:18:18,128
you appear to have soiled
yourself while unconscious.
477
00:18:18,129 --> 00:18:21,032
I wasn't unconscious.
Who are you?
478
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,593
I go by the name of Paradox.
479
00:18:22,594 --> 00:18:26,664
Mr. Paradox. And you're
sitting here at the TVA.
480
00:18:26,665 --> 00:18:28,599
The Time Variance Authority.
481
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,634
We're really
a watchdog organization,
482
00:18:30,635 --> 00:18:33,572
except we're more lighthearted
than that sounds,
483
00:18:33,573 --> 00:18:37,048
with a sort of
throwback, ironic twist.
484
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:38,951
And we're in charge
of defending
485
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,853
what's known
as the Sacred Timeline.
486
00:18:40,854 --> 00:18:44,583
Holy fuck. That is a shit-ton
of exposition for a threequel.
487
00:18:44,584 --> 00:18:46,739
Is this because
I used Cable's time machine?
488
00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:48,895
Brought a couple of people
back to life,
489
00:18:48,896 --> 00:18:49,653
then I destroyed it.
490
00:18:49,654 --> 00:18:50,896
- That was a long time ago.
- Yes,
491
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,745
we're aware of your abuse
of your timeline.
492
00:18:53,746 --> 00:18:56,655
[chuckles] And you were
so abusive of it.
493
00:18:56,656 --> 00:18:59,565
Uh, no, it has nothing
to do with that.
494
00:18:59,566 --> 00:19:01,204
Walk with me.
495
00:19:02,436 --> 00:19:05,373
[♪ mysterious music playing]
496
00:19:05,846 --> 00:19:09,080
I brought you here,
Mr. Wilson, to tell you
497
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,575
that you're special.
498
00:19:10,576 --> 00:19:13,986
In fact, you've been chosen
for a higher purpose,
499
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,549
a purpose unclear even to me.
500
00:19:16,550 --> 00:19:18,286
But one that could
501
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:20,959
save the entire
Sacred Timeline
502
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,930
from a possibly grisly fate
sometime in the future,
503
00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:27,230
which may very well
need to be...
504
00:19:27,231 --> 00:19:28,791
avenged.
505
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:31,201
This Sacred Timeline,
506
00:19:31,465 --> 00:19:34,171
I assume I'm going to marvel
507
00:19:34,172 --> 00:19:35,699
at how
508
00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:37,272
cinematic it feels?
509
00:19:37,273 --> 00:19:38,845
Gratuitous cameos,
510
00:19:38,846 --> 00:19:41,706
indiscriminate use of
Variants, the whole package?
511
00:19:41,707 --> 00:19:43,543
Well, you tell me.
512
00:19:43,544 --> 00:19:45,380
[device beeps]
513
00:19:47,118 --> 00:19:50,187
[♪ heroic music playing]
514
00:19:50,924 --> 00:19:52,321
Cap!
515
00:19:58,591 --> 00:20:01,175
You are no longer lost, Wade.
516
00:20:01,176 --> 00:20:03,760
You can be a hero
among heroes.
517
00:20:03,761 --> 00:20:06,170
We've been surveilling you
for quite a while.
518
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:10,240
- Subway station.
- A TVA outpost, yes.
519
00:20:10,537 --> 00:20:12,704
- And what is that?
- Hmm?
520
00:20:14,772 --> 00:20:17,049
Is that me? Is that Thor?
521
00:20:17,511 --> 00:20:19,078
- Is he crying?
- Uh, let's not
522
00:20:19,079 --> 00:20:20,533
- get ahead of ourselves.
- [gasps]
523
00:20:20,534 --> 00:20:22,124
That happens
in the distant future.
524
00:20:22,125 --> 00:20:23,714
Why is Thor crying?
Quick! Tell me.
525
00:20:23,715 --> 00:20:25,749
Do not speak to her.
Stop that. Eyes on me.
526
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:27,785
I brought you here
to offer you an opportunity.
527
00:20:27,786 --> 00:20:29,704
The opportunity
you sought years ago,
528
00:20:29,705 --> 00:20:31,624
but for which
you were not ready.
529
00:20:31,625 --> 00:20:32,855
We believe you're ready now.
530
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:34,896
Ready for a chance
to leave your timeline
531
00:20:34,897 --> 00:20:36,936
and join the greatest
universe of all.
532
00:20:36,937 --> 00:20:39,467
I am about to give you the thing
you've always wanted.
533
00:20:39,468 --> 00:20:41,100
Oh, I smell
what you're steppin' in.
534
00:20:41,101 --> 00:20:42,734
The power
in the Marvel Universe
535
00:20:42,735 --> 00:20:44,769
is about to change forever.
536
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:47,705
I am the Messiah...
537
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:50,049
[♪ heavenly music building]
538
00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:52,743
I am...
539
00:20:52,744 --> 00:20:55,417
- [♪ music stops]
- ...Marvel Jesus.
540
00:20:55,747 --> 00:20:57,584
Can you excuse me
for just a moment?
541
00:20:57,585 --> 00:20:59,883
I'm just gonna go over here.
542
00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:03,820
Suck it, Fox!
543
00:21:03,821 --> 00:21:05,542
I'm going to Disneyland.
544
00:21:05,543 --> 00:21:07,264
[grunts] Get fucked!
545
00:21:10,234 --> 00:21:10,860
Where do I sign?
546
00:21:10,861 --> 00:21:12,829
Oh, there's no need
for paperwork.
547
00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:14,799
Good. Not to brag,
but I do not read.
548
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:15,436
[chuckles] Oh.
549
00:21:15,437 --> 00:21:18,407
There is one thing
I will need, though.
550
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:21,872
[♪ rousing music playing]
551
00:21:21,873 --> 00:21:24,578
[laughs] Oh, fuck off!
552
00:21:24,579 --> 00:21:27,152
Adorn me, Beardo.
553
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:43,827
- [squeaks]
- [elevator dings]
554
00:21:43,828 --> 00:21:47,139
[♪ hip-hop music plays, Fergie
ft. Ludacris "Glamorous"]
555
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,535
Fuckin' A!
556
00:21:48,536 --> 00:21:50,141
Uhh! It's perfect! FYI,
557
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:54,113
your tailor is a predator,
but I love it. Snug.
558
00:21:54,114 --> 00:21:54,805
No camel toe.
559
00:21:54,806 --> 00:21:58,777
New car smell
and adamantium katanas?
560
00:21:58,778 --> 00:22:00,432
You shouldn't have.
561
00:22:00,433 --> 00:22:02,087
Go ahead. Take it in.
562
00:22:02,088 --> 00:22:05,025
And yes, your underwear
is getting tighter.
563
00:22:05,026 --> 00:22:06,823
That guy knows
what I'm talking about.
564
00:22:06,824 --> 00:22:09,191
His clothes says
middle management,
565
00:22:09,192 --> 00:22:11,559
but his eyes say
fuck-y fuck-y.
566
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,561
Yes. You look very nice.
567
00:22:13,562 --> 00:22:14,264
[Deadpool] "Nice"?
568
00:22:14,265 --> 00:22:16,498
Your buddy here is ready
to throw it all away for me.
569
00:22:16,499 --> 00:22:17,564
- You callin' your wife?
- HR.
570
00:22:17,565 --> 00:22:18,730
[Deadpool] Does your wife
work in HR?
571
00:22:18,731 --> 00:22:21,536
[Mr. Paradox] I'm really glad
you're taking this so well.
572
00:22:21,537 --> 00:22:23,009
[Deadpool]
Oh, I'm taking it well.
573
00:22:23,010 --> 00:22:25,672
I have never had a problem
traveling for work.
574
00:22:25,673 --> 00:22:27,706
That said,
we should talk vacation days.
575
00:22:27,707 --> 00:22:30,512
I'm more of a one-week-on-
one-week-off kind of guy.
576
00:22:30,513 --> 00:22:31,677
I think it's what they do
in Denmark.
577
00:22:31,678 --> 00:22:33,713
You know, you'll never see
a Danish flag on the moon,
578
00:22:33,714 --> 00:22:35,516
but [chuckles]
goddamn it, they're happy.
579
00:22:35,517 --> 00:22:38,883
Now, let's power up your
little Amazon Fire phone there
580
00:22:38,884 --> 00:22:39,685
and zip me back home
581
00:22:39,686 --> 00:22:42,491
so I can let my friends know
that they've been upgraded
582
00:22:42,492 --> 00:22:43,128
to disciples.
583
00:22:43,129 --> 00:22:45,928
Yeah. I don't think you...
quite understand.
584
00:22:45,929 --> 00:22:48,912
Um, you will not be returning
to your home
585
00:22:48,913 --> 00:22:51,896
because there will be
no home to return to.
586
00:22:51,897 --> 00:22:52,797
Come again?
587
00:22:52,798 --> 00:22:54,734
This time in my ears.
588
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,802
[device beeps]
589
00:22:57,803 --> 00:23:01,972
This is your universe,
Mr. Wilson.
590
00:23:02,082 --> 00:23:02,939
That
591
00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:04,975
is what happens
when a universe
592
00:23:04,976 --> 00:23:06,943
loses their Anchor Being.
593
00:23:06,944 --> 00:23:08,912
See how it decays
from the inside?
594
00:23:08,913 --> 00:23:11,866
- This is how a reality dies.
- What's an Anchor Being?
595
00:23:11,867 --> 00:23:14,820
An Anchor Being is an entity
of such vital importance
596
00:23:14,821 --> 00:23:15,556
that when they die,
597
00:23:15,557 --> 00:23:18,625
their whole world slowly
withers out of existence.
598
00:23:18,626 --> 00:23:21,348
You've just won the lottery
because I didn't die.
599
00:23:21,349 --> 00:23:24,071
It was just a little midlife
crisis. I'm better now.
600
00:23:24,072 --> 00:23:27,206
Oh, no, no, no. [laughing]
601
00:23:28,702 --> 00:23:29,999
[Deadpool laughs along]
602
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,705
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, I love to laugh.
603
00:23:32,706 --> 00:23:35,577
Can you imagine
if you were the Anchor Being?
604
00:23:35,578 --> 00:23:38,398
- [Deadpool, dully] Yeah.
- [laughs] Oh!
605
00:23:38,399 --> 00:23:41,220
- Yeah.
- No, it isn't you, Mr. Wilson.
606
00:23:41,221 --> 00:23:42,352
Your Anchor Being died
607
00:23:42,353 --> 00:23:45,256
in an act
of self-sacrifice so epic
608
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:48,161
that it sent shivers
down the Timeline.
609
00:23:48,162 --> 00:23:52,165
I am referring,
of course, to...
610
00:23:52,792 --> 00:23:57,269
Logan. The Wolverine.
611
00:23:59,502 --> 00:24:03,170
[weakly] Don't be
what they made you.
612
00:24:03,171 --> 00:24:06,839
[♪ sentimental slow rock
music playing]
613
00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:11,909
[crying]
614
00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:15,782
Ah, so this is
what it feels like...
615
00:24:16,816 --> 00:24:18,653
[Deadpool] Logan.
616
00:24:18,884 --> 00:24:20,391
Of course.
617
00:24:20,622 --> 00:24:22,052
Logan.
618
00:24:23,053 --> 00:24:24,290
[Deadpool groans]
619
00:24:24,291 --> 00:24:25,527
[yelling] Logan?
620
00:24:25,528 --> 00:24:27,430
The guy with forks for hands?
621
00:24:27,431 --> 00:24:29,564
- That Wolverine?
- [device beeps]
622
00:24:29,565 --> 00:24:31,698
Yeah, I got it.
You can turn your
623
00:24:31,699 --> 00:24:34,141
retro graphics of death
off now. Make it stop.
624
00:24:34,142 --> 00:24:35,868
We're not doing it,
Mr. Wilson.
625
00:24:35,869 --> 00:24:37,903
We certainly can't stop it.
626
00:24:38,970 --> 00:24:40,036
[Deadpool]
How long have we got?
627
00:24:40,037 --> 00:24:42,022
In most cases,
couple thousand years.
628
00:24:42,023 --> 00:24:44,269
- Well, sweet.
- Well, most cases
629
00:24:44,270 --> 00:24:45,975
aren't fast enough.
Not for me.
630
00:24:45,976 --> 00:24:47,846
[Deadpool]
What does that mean?
631
00:24:47,847 --> 00:24:49,716
It means
that I have been tasked
632
00:24:49,717 --> 00:24:52,588
with overseeing
the end of your universe.
633
00:24:52,589 --> 00:24:53,357
And regardless of what
634
00:24:53,358 --> 00:24:55,690
the pencil pushers upstairs
would prefer,
635
00:24:55,691 --> 00:24:56,261
I will not
636
00:24:56,262 --> 00:24:59,826
waste my life watching it die
slowly of natural causes.
637
00:24:59,827 --> 00:25:01,943
We used to just prune
these things. Simple.
638
00:25:01,944 --> 00:25:04,223
Elegant. Efficient.
But I'm told the TVA
639
00:25:04,224 --> 00:25:06,347
doesn't like to do that
anymore. Well, I do.
640
00:25:06,348 --> 00:25:08,944
And no matter what
my so-called superiors say,
641
00:25:08,945 --> 00:25:11,541
the multiverse does not
need a babysitter.
642
00:25:11,542 --> 00:25:13,207
We need a mercy killer.
643
00:25:13,208 --> 00:25:14,873
And in this instance,
644
00:25:14,874 --> 00:25:18,878
I am the mercy killer. Ha!
645
00:25:19,681 --> 00:25:21,188
[chuckles]
646
00:25:21,683 --> 00:25:22,320
[device beeps]
647
00:25:22,321 --> 00:25:23,849
[Deadpool] What in
the MacGuffin is that?
648
00:25:23,850 --> 00:25:26,886
[Mr. Paradox] That's
a Time Ripper, Mr. Wilson.
649
00:25:26,887 --> 00:25:27,985
An accelerant.
650
00:25:27,986 --> 00:25:30,758
Once completed,
it will allow me to destroy
651
00:25:30,759 --> 00:25:33,161
the spacetime matrix
of your universe.
652
00:25:33,162 --> 00:25:35,565
You see, I don't want
to work for the TVA.
653
00:25:35,566 --> 00:25:36,796
I want to be the TVA.
654
00:25:36,797 --> 00:25:39,965
And the first step involves
showing this organization
655
00:25:39,966 --> 00:25:41,917
how much more efficient
it can become.
656
00:25:41,918 --> 00:25:43,870
To wit, I will be
giving your universe
657
00:25:43,871 --> 00:25:45,970
a swift and compassionate end.
658
00:25:45,971 --> 00:25:47,477
And don't worry, your friends
won't feel a thing.
659
00:25:47,478 --> 00:25:51,680
It'll be over just like this.
"Oh, what's that?" [groans]
660
00:25:51,779 --> 00:25:53,319
Trust me.
661
00:26:04,759 --> 00:26:07,564
You're gonna Old Yeller
my fucking universe?
662
00:26:07,565 --> 00:26:09,565
Mm... In your parlance, yes.
663
00:26:09,566 --> 00:26:10,896
Two in the heart,
one in the head.
664
00:26:10,897 --> 00:26:12,766
Look, Mr. Wilson,
you have two choices.
665
00:26:12,767 --> 00:26:14,834
You can either rejoin
your loved ones
666
00:26:14,835 --> 00:26:16,903
and collectively cease
to exist in,
667
00:26:16,904 --> 00:26:19,806
I'd say, 72 hours. Or...
668
00:26:19,807 --> 00:26:22,072
you join the Sacred Timeline.
669
00:26:22,073 --> 00:26:25,076
And you end your days
of insignificance
670
00:26:25,077 --> 00:26:27,452
and mediocrity.
671
00:26:27,453 --> 00:26:28,782
Wade.
672
00:26:28,783 --> 00:26:30,851
Wade, you can finally,
673
00:26:30,852 --> 00:26:33,920
finally matter.
674
00:26:36,824 --> 00:26:40,927
- [Hulk roars]
- [♪ sentimental music playing]
675
00:26:42,566 --> 00:26:45,305
That's all
I've ever really wanted.
676
00:26:45,306 --> 00:26:47,098
I know.
677
00:26:47,197 --> 00:26:48,472
I know.
678
00:26:48,473 --> 00:26:50,970
And you know I'm...
I'm nothing if not
679
00:26:50,971 --> 00:26:53,104
morally flexible. [chuckles]
680
00:26:53,105 --> 00:26:54,809
[chuckles]
681
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:56,745
Yep, yep.
682
00:26:58,208 --> 00:26:59,142
I'll do it.
683
00:26:59,143 --> 00:27:00,077
Wise choice.
684
00:27:00,078 --> 00:27:01,551
The Sacred Timeline's happy
to have you.
685
00:27:01,552 --> 00:27:03,702
[Deadpool] I was actually
talking about finding
686
00:27:03,703 --> 00:27:05,853
the Wolverine and breaking
your fucking nose.
687
00:27:06,216 --> 00:27:07,821
[groans]
688
00:27:07,822 --> 00:27:09,296
[♪ soft rock music plays,
Goo Goo Dolls "Iris"]
689
00:27:09,297 --> 00:27:13,096
♪ And I'd give up forever
to touch you ♪
690
00:27:13,097 --> 00:27:16,897
♪ 'Cause I know
that you feel me somehow ♪
691
00:27:16,898 --> 00:27:18,734
[♪ song stops]
692
00:27:18,866 --> 00:27:20,867
Find him. Find him!
693
00:27:20,868 --> 00:27:23,475
[Deadpool]
And boy, did he ever.
694
00:27:23,476 --> 00:27:24,739
[grunting]
695
00:27:24,740 --> 00:27:27,171
Which brings us back to this.
696
00:27:27,941 --> 00:27:30,074
The desecration
of the sacred corpse.
697
00:27:30,075 --> 00:27:34,244
- [♪ dramatic music playing]
- [yelling and grunting]
698
00:27:34,783 --> 00:27:37,214
- Oh, my God!
- [yells]
699
00:27:37,555 --> 00:27:40,657
Oh! My own fucking arm!
700
00:27:40,658 --> 00:27:41,492
[soldier 1 yells]
701
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:43,120
- [soldier 1 screams]
- [grunting]
702
00:27:43,121 --> 00:27:45,156
- [soldier 1 screaming]
- Now we're talkin'!
703
00:27:45,157 --> 00:27:46,828
[soldier 1] Not like this!
704
00:27:46,829 --> 00:27:48,466
No, dear God! No!
705
00:27:48,467 --> 00:27:51,063
[Deadpool] I'm sorry!
Wolverine-ing is hard!
706
00:27:51,064 --> 00:27:52,449
[soldier 2] Make it stop!
707
00:27:52,450 --> 00:27:53,835
[Deadpool] Mangold tried.
708
00:27:53,836 --> 00:27:56,376
[soldiers screaming]
709
00:27:56,706 --> 00:27:58,256
You sick fuck!
710
00:27:58,257 --> 00:27:59,807
Logan was a hero.
711
00:27:59,808 --> 00:28:01,579
And the only thing
worth a shit
712
00:28:01,580 --> 00:28:03,614
to ever come out of Canada.
713
00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:05,346
[soldier 1 cries out]
714
00:28:05,347 --> 00:28:07,079
[soldier 2 screams]
715
00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:12,986
[Deadpool]
Get my country's name
716
00:28:12,987 --> 00:28:15,956
out of your fuckin' mouth.
717
00:28:16,055 --> 00:28:18,728
And my sword. Give me that.
718
00:28:20,499 --> 00:28:21,059
[exhales]
719
00:28:21,060 --> 00:28:24,195
Oh, I gotta find me
another Logan.
720
00:28:24,196 --> 00:28:24,997
An alive one.
721
00:28:24,998 --> 00:28:27,736
Don't get up, guys.
I'll see myself out.
722
00:28:27,737 --> 00:28:31,873
[♪ synth rock music playing,
"The Power of Love"]
723
00:28:35,646 --> 00:28:37,076
Logan!
724
00:28:39,617 --> 00:28:42,389
I'm gonna need you
to come with me.
725
00:28:42,950 --> 00:28:44,721
Who's asking?
726
00:28:44,853 --> 00:28:45,589
[♪ music stops]
727
00:28:45,590 --> 00:28:47,724
[Deadpool] Oh, look at
this little Hairy Lou Retton.
728
00:28:47,725 --> 00:28:50,661
Did you stick the landing,
little guy?
729
00:28:50,662 --> 00:28:51,529
Yes, you did!
730
00:28:51,530 --> 00:28:53,564
Comic-accurate short king.
731
00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:55,247
Such a cute wittle Wolvie.
732
00:28:55,248 --> 00:28:56,930
Cue the fuckin' montage, baby.
733
00:28:56,931 --> 00:28:58,933
- [♪ synth rock music resumes]
- Ahoy!
734
00:28:58,934 --> 00:29:01,507
Everything seems
to be on fire.
735
00:29:01,508 --> 00:29:02,606
You have a dragon?
736
00:29:02,607 --> 00:29:05,907
Ooh, you have Anchor Being
written all over...
737
00:29:05,908 --> 00:29:08,140
[grunting]
738
00:29:08,712 --> 00:29:09,272
[growling]
739
00:29:09,273 --> 00:29:13,585
♪ Make a one man weep,
make another man sing ♪
740
00:29:13,586 --> 00:29:15,752
♪ Change a hawk... ♪
741
00:29:15,753 --> 00:29:16,246
Patch!
742
00:29:16,247 --> 00:29:20,427
- [engine revving]
- Oh, now we're talkin'.
743
00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:21,724
Oh, yeah.
744
00:29:21,725 --> 00:29:24,992
That's the whole goddamn
package right there.
745
00:29:25,564 --> 00:29:26,058
Howdy!
746
00:29:26,059 --> 00:29:29,210
I'm just... I'm auditioning
Anchor Beings.
747
00:29:29,211 --> 00:29:32,362
Oh. Yeah, that's gonna need
some coconut oil.
748
00:29:33,770 --> 00:29:34,770
[grunts]
749
00:29:34,771 --> 00:29:36,470
[crow cawing]
750
00:29:36,471 --> 00:29:38,169
What in the fuck?
751
00:29:38,170 --> 00:29:40,513
[laughs] Are you okay?
752
00:29:40,514 --> 00:29:41,139
Oh, yes, yes.
753
00:29:41,140 --> 00:29:42,910
Classic John Byrne
brown and tan.
754
00:29:42,911 --> 00:29:45,012
Now, you fought the Hulk
in this outfit. No?
755
00:29:45,013 --> 00:29:47,514
- [deep growl]
- [♪ song stops]
756
00:29:47,515 --> 00:29:50,017
I'm Marvel Jesus,
you dull creature,
757
00:29:50,018 --> 00:29:50,753
and I will not... [yells]
758
00:29:50,754 --> 00:29:53,350
- [Deadpool groans]
- [♪ song resumes playing]
759
00:29:53,757 --> 00:29:55,726
[grunting]
760
00:29:57,695 --> 00:29:59,960
- [thunder rumbles]
- [groaning]
761
00:29:59,961 --> 00:30:04,196
It's not you. We're just going
in a different direction.
762
00:30:05,670 --> 00:30:06,736
[engine revving]
763
00:30:06,737 --> 00:30:07,506
You know, from behind,
764
00:30:07,507 --> 00:30:08,788
you look a little bit
like Henry...
765
00:30:08,789 --> 00:30:10,980
- Oh, my fuck!
- [♪ song stops]
766
00:30:10,981 --> 00:30:13,171
The Cavillrine.
The legends are true.
767
00:30:13,172 --> 00:30:16,747
And may I say, sir,
on behalf of all humanity,
768
00:30:16,748 --> 00:30:18,484
this just feels right.
769
00:30:18,485 --> 00:30:19,881
We will treat you
so much better
770
00:30:19,882 --> 00:30:21,179
than those shit fucks
down the street.
771
00:30:21,180 --> 00:30:23,649
- You were just leavin'.
- [Deadpool] No, sir.
772
00:30:23,650 --> 00:30:26,119
Not while the fate
of my universe is at...
773
00:30:27,857 --> 00:30:28,956
[man grunts]
774
00:30:28,957 --> 00:30:30,056
[choking]
775
00:30:30,057 --> 00:30:31,861
This one looks promising.
776
00:30:31,862 --> 00:30:33,698
Down you go.
777
00:30:34,567 --> 00:30:35,963
[Logan] Again.
778
00:30:35,964 --> 00:30:38,461
I told you.
You're not welcome here.
779
00:30:38,462 --> 00:30:39,632
You're not welcome anywhere.
780
00:30:39,633 --> 00:30:40,803
Now get the fuck
out of my bar.
781
00:30:40,804 --> 00:30:43,675
Just give me one more drink
and then I'll leave.
782
00:30:43,676 --> 00:30:45,467
[bartender] That's not
how it works.
783
00:30:45,468 --> 00:30:48,273
[Deadpool] It does now.
Leave the bottle.
784
00:30:48,274 --> 00:30:49,207
I know you, bub?
785
00:30:49,208 --> 00:30:51,594
Nope. But I know you.
786
00:30:51,595 --> 00:30:53,982
Everybody knows me.
787
00:30:54,818 --> 00:30:56,050
I'm the Wolverine.
788
00:30:56,051 --> 00:30:57,754
Yes, you are.
789
00:30:57,755 --> 00:31:01,121
And I'm gonna need you
to come with me right now.
790
00:31:01,451 --> 00:31:03,056
Look, lady,
I'm not interested.
791
00:31:03,057 --> 00:31:04,663
Really gettin'
into your cups here.
792
00:31:04,664 --> 00:31:06,863
Why would I go with you?
793
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,195
Because, unfortunately,
794
00:31:09,196 --> 00:31:09,799
I need you,
795
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:15,036
and even more unfortunately,
my entire world needs you.
796
00:31:15,037 --> 00:31:17,401
You two gonna fuck or fight?
797
00:31:20,547 --> 00:31:22,109
You gonna take that from him?
798
00:31:22,110 --> 00:31:23,175
- Yep.
- [scoffs]
799
00:31:23,176 --> 00:31:25,475
I can tell you have a sort
of don't-get-too-close-
800
00:31:25,476 --> 00:31:27,620
I'll-only-break-your-heart
vibe going here,
801
00:31:27,621 --> 00:31:28,587
but every other Wolverine
802
00:31:28,588 --> 00:31:29,737
would've really hurt me
by now.
803
00:31:29,738 --> 00:31:30,886
And I'm sort of
on the tick-tick.
804
00:31:30,887 --> 00:31:32,691
- So, upsy-daisy. Here we go.
- Whoa, whoa.
805
00:31:32,692 --> 00:31:33,923
- Up you go.
- Hey, hey!
806
00:31:33,924 --> 00:31:35,793
I got you, big guy.
807
00:31:36,695 --> 00:31:38,092
Oh.
808
00:31:38,763 --> 00:31:39,631
Whiskey dick of the claws.
809
00:31:39,632 --> 00:31:41,667
It's quite common
in Wolverines over 40.
810
00:31:41,668 --> 00:31:42,392
You don't want this.
811
00:31:42,393 --> 00:31:45,066
You're right. I don't.
And you don't want this.
812
00:31:45,067 --> 00:31:46,804
Unless you wanna
take a deep breath
813
00:31:46,805 --> 00:31:48,102
through your fuckin' forehead,
814
00:31:48,103 --> 00:31:50,467
I suggest you reconsider.
815
00:31:50,468 --> 00:31:52,172
Let's go, peanut.
816
00:31:53,943 --> 00:31:55,845
[laughing]
817
00:31:55,846 --> 00:31:58,651
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
818
00:31:58,652 --> 00:32:00,180
Watch this.
819
00:32:00,510 --> 00:32:03,183
All right. That... Whoa.
820
00:32:03,184 --> 00:32:04,822
Easy.
821
00:32:07,858 --> 00:32:08,825
Good God.
822
00:32:08,826 --> 00:32:11,928
Thirsty little honey badger,
aren't ya?
823
00:32:12,159 --> 00:32:13,522
It's okay. Keep goin'.
824
00:32:13,523 --> 00:32:16,702
Audiences are accustomed
to long run times.
825
00:32:17,065 --> 00:32:19,132
[grunts, groans]
826
00:32:19,133 --> 00:32:21,200
[body thuds]
827
00:32:21,201 --> 00:32:23,940
[sighs]
Guess you'll have to do.
828
00:32:23,941 --> 00:32:25,678
Okay, here we...
829
00:32:25,876 --> 00:32:28,680
Oh! Look at those jammies.
830
00:32:28,681 --> 00:32:31,628
That only took
20 fucking years.
831
00:32:31,629 --> 00:32:34,577
One Anchor Being
coming right up!
832
00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:36,100
On your left, baby girl.
833
00:32:36,101 --> 00:32:37,623
This Logan has the same
834
00:32:37,624 --> 00:32:39,840
he-can-do-anything-
even-musicals look.
835
00:32:39,841 --> 00:32:42,057
And bonus, he's actually
wearing a costume
836
00:32:42,058 --> 00:32:43,558
like he's not
embarrassed to be
837
00:32:43,559 --> 00:32:45,060
in a superhero movie for once.
838
00:32:45,061 --> 00:32:46,555
I don't understand.
839
00:32:46,556 --> 00:32:47,457
You said my universe is dying
840
00:32:47,458 --> 00:32:49,966
because this sack of nuts
got himself killed.
841
00:32:49,967 --> 00:32:52,528
- Well, problem solved.
- My God.
842
00:32:52,529 --> 00:32:57,710
You actually think you can
replace an Anchor Being
843
00:32:57,711 --> 00:32:58,842
with this?
844
00:32:58,843 --> 00:33:01,978
I wouldn't have accepted
any other Wolverine, BT dubs.
845
00:33:01,979 --> 00:33:03,814
But you have outdone yourself
846
00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:05,800
and brought me
the worst Wolverine!
847
00:33:05,801 --> 00:33:07,786
What do you mean,
the worst one?
848
00:33:07,787 --> 00:33:08,720
Mr. Wilson.
849
00:33:08,721 --> 00:33:12,614
This Wolverine let down
his entire world.
850
00:33:12,615 --> 00:33:15,695
He's the stuff of legend,
but not in a good way.
851
00:33:15,696 --> 00:33:17,059
And what he did,
852
00:33:17,060 --> 00:33:17,762
well,
853
00:33:17,763 --> 00:33:21,195
some things are just
beyond forgiveness.
854
00:33:23,065 --> 00:33:23,559
Okay.
855
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,805
How do I... How do I make
this right? I'll do anything.
856
00:33:26,806 --> 00:33:29,631
I gave you
a chance at greatness.
857
00:33:29,632 --> 00:33:32,470
Because my superiors
deemed you "special."
858
00:33:32,471 --> 00:33:34,274
Clearly not special
in a good way.
859
00:33:34,275 --> 00:33:35,043
Apparently you have some
860
00:33:35,044 --> 00:33:37,541
important future purpose
to serve.
861
00:33:37,542 --> 00:33:38,685
With Thor. He holds me.
862
00:33:38,686 --> 00:33:40,048
But I did my duty.
863
00:33:40,049 --> 00:33:42,216
I gave you the opportunity
to be somebody.
864
00:33:42,217 --> 00:33:43,986
And instead of
accepting my offering
865
00:33:43,987 --> 00:33:47,056
with humility and gratitude,
you broke my nose.
866
00:33:47,057 --> 00:33:47,792
[sighs] It looks great.
867
00:33:47,793 --> 00:33:49,459
And you decimated
dozens of my men
868
00:33:49,460 --> 00:33:51,125
with the exhumed corpse
of a hero.
869
00:33:51,126 --> 00:33:53,964
Dishonoring not only
his remains but his memory.
870
00:33:53,965 --> 00:33:55,460
What are you, the Internet?
871
00:33:55,461 --> 00:33:57,231
Your world is dying!
872
00:33:57,232 --> 00:33:59,001
Thank you very much.
873
00:33:59,002 --> 00:34:01,103
And there's no stopping it.
874
00:34:02,137 --> 00:34:04,205
[muffled]
The humane thing to do
875
00:34:04,206 --> 00:34:04,941
is to make it quick.
876
00:34:04,942 --> 00:34:07,241
Is the thought
of vaporizing my universe
877
00:34:07,242 --> 00:34:08,258
making you peckish?
878
00:34:08,259 --> 00:34:09,275
I'm eating my feelings.
879
00:34:09,276 --> 00:34:10,717
I'm about to lose everything
that I've ever cared about
880
00:34:10,718 --> 00:34:14,611
because that hairy thundercunt
from down undercunt
881
00:34:14,612 --> 00:34:15,248
finally dies,
882
00:34:15,249 --> 00:34:17,790
and he's standing
right behind me, isn't he?
883
00:34:17,791 --> 00:34:19,791
Welcome to the MCU,
by the way.
884
00:34:19,792 --> 00:34:21,909
You're joining at a bit
of a low point.
885
00:34:21,910 --> 00:34:23,699
As for you,
I wanna talk to your boss.
886
00:34:23,700 --> 00:34:25,612
I want you to get him
on the phone
887
00:34:25,613 --> 00:34:27,524
and you tell him,
her, or them,
888
00:34:27,525 --> 00:34:30,836
that Marvel H. Christ
isn't playing.
889
00:34:35,632 --> 00:34:37,138
Holy shit.
890
00:34:37,139 --> 00:34:38,744
I just heard a symphony
891
00:34:38,745 --> 00:34:41,209
of buttholes clenching
all at once.
892
00:34:41,210 --> 00:34:41,813
You're off grid.
893
00:34:41,814 --> 00:34:43,673
Your bosses don't know
what you sick fucks
894
00:34:43,674 --> 00:34:44,640
are doing down here.
895
00:34:44,641 --> 00:34:45,575
Well, I'll tell you what.
896
00:34:45,576 --> 00:34:47,787
I have a black belt
in Karen...
897
00:34:47,788 --> 00:34:48,710
And I'm gonna go upstairs
898
00:34:48,711 --> 00:34:52,154
and I'm gonna tell 'em
all about you and your...
899
00:34:52,155 --> 00:34:54,057
Oh, silence is nice, isn't it?
900
00:34:54,058 --> 00:34:54,892
Where the fuck did he go?
901
00:34:54,893 --> 00:34:57,555
To the trash heap.
You'll fit right in.
902
00:34:57,556 --> 00:34:58,858
[growls]
903
00:34:58,859 --> 00:35:00,161
Whew.
904
00:35:00,162 --> 00:35:02,395
That was close. [chuckles]
905
00:35:04,804 --> 00:35:08,038
[muffled rhythmic thumping]
906
00:35:10,843 --> 00:35:13,846
[muffled footsteps thumping]
907
00:35:17,476 --> 00:35:19,214
[groaning]
908
00:35:21,986 --> 00:35:25,154
[Deadpool] Don't just
stand there, you ape.
909
00:35:25,155 --> 00:35:26,792
Give me a hand up.
910
00:35:26,793 --> 00:35:28,453
- [claws clang]
- Nope. I'm actually okay.
911
00:35:28,454 --> 00:35:31,963
- Thank you very much. [groans]
- [Wolverine grunting]
912
00:35:31,964 --> 00:35:33,062
[Wolverine]
Where the hell are we?
913
00:35:33,063 --> 00:35:35,560
[Deadpool] I don't know.
Looks kind of Mad Max-y.
914
00:35:35,561 --> 00:35:38,134
But that would be
IP infringement, right?
915
00:35:38,135 --> 00:35:39,035
Fucking jokes.
916
00:35:39,036 --> 00:35:41,170
- [grunts]
- [Deadpool yelps]
917
00:35:41,171 --> 00:35:42,731
[bones crack]
918
00:35:42,732 --> 00:35:43,875
[Deadpool] Fuck! Fuck.
919
00:35:43,876 --> 00:35:45,107
Were you even listening
back there?
920
00:35:45,108 --> 00:35:48,540
If we don't make it back
to that Mr. Paradox asshole,
921
00:35:48,541 --> 00:35:50,080
everyone I know is gonna die.
922
00:35:50,081 --> 00:35:51,763
Not my fuckin' problem.
923
00:35:51,764 --> 00:35:53,445
Oh, is that all you got?
924
00:35:53,446 --> 00:35:56,823
Is that what you said
when your world went to shit?
925
00:35:56,824 --> 00:35:59,138
[breathing heavily]
Come again?
926
00:35:59,139 --> 00:36:01,379
Yeah, I heard all about you.
927
00:36:01,380 --> 00:36:03,621
How you screwed up everything.
928
00:36:03,622 --> 00:36:04,456
You should be thankin' me
929
00:36:04,457 --> 00:36:06,810
for pulling you out
of that bed you shit in.
930
00:36:06,811 --> 00:36:09,165
[groans] You back-stabbing
son of a bitch!
931
00:36:09,166 --> 00:36:10,870
[yells]
932
00:36:13,499 --> 00:36:14,730
[shouts, groans]
933
00:36:14,731 --> 00:36:16,804
Are you ready to be calm now?
934
00:36:16,805 --> 00:36:18,878
- [grunts]
- [Deadpool yelps]
935
00:36:21,243 --> 00:36:22,849
[groans]
936
00:36:23,212 --> 00:36:25,015
Rest in pieces, Fox. [grunts]
937
00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:28,646
[♪ tense song intro playing,
AC/DC "Hells Bells"]
938
00:36:28,647 --> 00:36:30,989
[bird screeching]
939
00:36:40,229 --> 00:36:43,001
I don't want to fight you, peanut.
940
00:36:43,166 --> 00:36:44,793
Doesn't matter what you did.
941
00:36:44,794 --> 00:36:47,434
- I just need your help.
- [grunts]
942
00:36:48,006 --> 00:36:50,371
I don't fuckin' care.
943
00:36:51,075 --> 00:36:52,977
Uh... Uh-oh.
944
00:36:52,978 --> 00:36:55,046
[breathes heavily]
945
00:36:58,214 --> 00:37:01,646
Fuck. This is gonna hurt.
946
00:37:05,089 --> 00:37:06,419
All right.
947
00:37:06,420 --> 00:37:07,750
Fuck it.
948
00:37:07,751 --> 00:37:10,671
Let's give the people
what they came for.
949
00:37:10,672 --> 00:37:13,592
- [♪ song stops]
- Let's fuckin' go.
950
00:37:13,593 --> 00:37:16,067
Get your special sock out, nerds.
951
00:37:16,068 --> 00:37:18,795
It's gonna get good.
952
00:37:18,971 --> 00:37:20,698
[grunts]
953
00:37:24,636 --> 00:37:27,210
[♪ hard rock music playing,
AC/DC "Hells Bells"]
954
00:37:27,211 --> 00:37:28,871
[growls]
955
00:37:29,575 --> 00:37:31,379
[gunshots]
956
00:37:39,222 --> 00:37:41,356
[both grunting]
957
00:37:43,556 --> 00:37:44,964
[groans]
958
00:37:51,036 --> 00:37:51,695
[screams]
959
00:37:51,696 --> 00:37:54,303
♪ Hell's bells ♪
960
00:37:54,941 --> 00:37:58,043
♪ I'll give you
black sensations ♪
961
00:37:58,044 --> 00:38:00,473
♪ Up and down your spine ♪
962
00:38:00,474 --> 00:38:04,109
♪ If you're into evil,
you're a friend of mine ♪
963
00:38:04,110 --> 00:38:07,745
♪ See my white light flashing
as I split the night ♪
964
00:38:07,746 --> 00:38:10,748
- [grunts, growls]
- [Deadpool chuckles] Ew.
965
00:38:11,188 --> 00:38:11,649
Gotcha!
966
00:38:11,650 --> 00:38:15,423
♪ I got my bell, I'm gonna
take you to hell ♪
967
00:38:15,424 --> 00:38:18,426
♪ I'm gonna get you,
Satan get you ♪
968
00:38:18,427 --> 00:38:20,824
- Baby Knife!
- [groans]
969
00:38:23,629 --> 00:38:25,103
- [screams]
- Let's see you grow
970
00:38:25,104 --> 00:38:25,828
your fuckin' head back.
971
00:38:25,829 --> 00:38:28,419
Wait, wait, wait!
I can fix it! I can fix it.
972
00:38:28,420 --> 00:38:31,010
- Fix what?
- Whatever it is that you did.
973
00:38:31,011 --> 00:38:33,111
Whatever made you so bad.
974
00:38:33,112 --> 00:38:34,111
Those... Those
975
00:38:34,112 --> 00:38:37,543
pricks in the TVA.
You heard him.
976
00:38:37,544 --> 00:38:38,742
They have the power
to end my universe,
977
00:38:38,743 --> 00:38:43,286
but they also have
the power to change yours.
978
00:38:43,649 --> 00:38:47,620
We get back there,
and we can fix your world.
979
00:38:47,621 --> 00:38:49,292
Together.
980
00:38:50,062 --> 00:38:51,822
I promise.
981
00:38:52,691 --> 00:38:54,429
They can fix it.
982
00:38:55,034 --> 00:38:56,034
[man] Hey!
983
00:38:56,035 --> 00:38:57,783
We fight each other, we lose.
984
00:38:57,784 --> 00:38:59,692
[Deadpool] Dear God, it's him.
985
00:38:59,693 --> 00:39:01,600
- Who?
- [Deadpool] The one.
986
00:39:01,601 --> 00:39:04,538
The superhero equivalent
to comfort food, or Molly.
987
00:39:04,539 --> 00:39:07,739
White guys' answer
to all the disappointments.
988
00:39:07,740 --> 00:39:08,806
And another A-lister.
989
00:39:08,807 --> 00:39:09,872
Fair warning, gorgeous.
990
00:39:09,873 --> 00:39:12,446
You're going to encounter
some indelicate language,
991
00:39:12,447 --> 00:39:15,021
a smidge of ass play,
but we've been prohibited
992
00:39:15,022 --> 00:39:16,549
from using cocaine. On camera.
993
00:39:16,550 --> 00:39:19,470
- [man] They're coming.
- [Deadpool] Who's "they"?
994
00:39:19,471 --> 00:39:22,391
- [engines revving]
- [♪ menacing music playing]
995
00:39:25,889 --> 00:39:28,199
Oh, they're driving angry.
996
00:39:32,764 --> 00:39:33,236
[grunts]
997
00:39:33,237 --> 00:39:35,689
Now that's
a superhero landing.
998
00:39:35,690 --> 00:39:38,143
[♪ menacing music continues]
999
00:39:40,970 --> 00:39:42,543
[♪ music stops]
1000
00:39:42,544 --> 00:39:43,411
I got this.
1001
00:39:43,412 --> 00:39:46,316
[♪ menacing music resumes]
1002
00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:51,816
[sniffs]
1003
00:39:55,919 --> 00:39:57,987
[engines revving]
1004
00:40:07,469 --> 00:40:08,469
Stay close.
1005
00:40:08,470 --> 00:40:10,406
[Deadpool] Aye, aye, Cap'n.
1006
00:40:11,143 --> 00:40:12,903
You got this.
1007
00:40:13,541 --> 00:40:18,711
Cassandra is gonna be giddy
when she sees what we caught.
1008
00:40:18,975 --> 00:40:19,942
You can't run.
1009
00:40:19,943 --> 00:40:20,877
Everybody knows that.
1010
00:40:20,878 --> 00:40:23,198
You see anyone runnin',
dick for brains?
1011
00:40:23,199 --> 00:40:25,519
You're not gonna love
what happens next.
1012
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:27,885
- [Deadpool] Oh. Oh, my God.
- [♪ rousing music playing]
1013
00:40:27,886 --> 00:40:30,558
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, he's gonna say it.
1014
00:40:30,559 --> 00:40:31,790
- Ah! Fuck.
- [Deadpool] Ha!
1015
00:40:31,791 --> 00:40:33,021
Oh, my God! He's gonna say it!
1016
00:40:33,022 --> 00:40:35,128
- Say what?
- Avengers, assemble...
1017
00:40:35,129 --> 00:40:37,235
- Flame on!
- I'm sorry, what now?
1018
00:40:38,863 --> 00:40:41,833
[♪ epic music playing]
1019
00:40:52,712 --> 00:40:55,154
[groans, panting]
1020
00:40:56,155 --> 00:40:58,520
[screaming in distance]
1021
00:40:58,521 --> 00:41:00,126
- [clang]
- Ohh!
1022
00:41:00,127 --> 00:41:01,523
Fuck!
1023
00:41:01,524 --> 00:41:02,920
Ahhh!
1024
00:41:03,085 --> 00:41:04,558
[grunts]
1025
00:41:04,559 --> 00:41:07,661
- We don't know that guy.
- [Deadpool] We thought we did.
1026
00:41:07,662 --> 00:41:09,134
I know you.
1027
00:41:09,135 --> 00:41:12,336
- [Deadpool] Holy sh...
- [Sabretooth snarls]
1028
00:41:12,567 --> 00:41:13,732
[growls]
1029
00:41:13,733 --> 00:41:15,201
Sabretooth.
1030
00:41:15,202 --> 00:41:16,670
Your brother.
1031
00:41:16,835 --> 00:41:17,934
Ready to die?
1032
00:41:17,935 --> 00:41:21,807
[Deadpool] Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait! Time!
1033
00:41:21,808 --> 00:41:23,005
You look ridiculous.
1034
00:41:23,006 --> 00:41:25,778
People have waited decades
for this fight.
1035
00:41:25,779 --> 00:41:27,780
It's not gonna be easy.
Baby Knife.
1036
00:41:27,781 --> 00:41:29,782
Shoot the double,
you take him down.
1037
00:41:29,783 --> 00:41:32,081
Side control, then full mount,
1038
00:41:32,082 --> 00:41:33,015
and you ground and pound
1039
00:41:33,016 --> 00:41:34,968
till he makes no sound
because he's dead.
1040
00:41:34,969 --> 00:41:36,921
- Shut the fuck up!
- [Deadpool] Oh, my God!
1041
00:41:36,922 --> 00:41:39,660
Okay. Good luck.
I'm a huge fan.
1042
00:41:39,661 --> 00:41:41,827
[breathing heavily]
1043
00:41:42,927 --> 00:41:44,368
[laughs]
1044
00:41:45,061 --> 00:41:48,339
[roars]
1045
00:41:51,177 --> 00:41:52,606
- [gurgling]
- [Deadpool] What is it, girl?
1046
00:41:52,607 --> 00:41:55,808
- Is there trouble at the well?
- [flesh squelching]
1047
00:41:59,911 --> 00:42:01,913
[laughs] Big trouble.
1048
00:42:01,914 --> 00:42:03,078
Behold!
1049
00:42:03,079 --> 00:42:06,852
The head
of your precious queen,
1050
00:42:06,853 --> 00:42:08,260
Furiosa!
1051
00:42:08,689 --> 00:42:11,306
I have the Wolverine!
1052
00:42:11,307 --> 00:42:13,732
I alone control her!
1053
00:42:13,733 --> 00:42:16,518
You come for me,
1054
00:42:16,519 --> 00:42:19,304
you come for her.
1055
00:42:19,766 --> 00:42:21,987
So sorry.
I know it's pronounced "him."
1056
00:42:21,988 --> 00:42:24,210
I'm gender blind.
It's my cross to bear.
1057
00:42:24,211 --> 00:42:25,540
Who's next?
1058
00:42:25,541 --> 00:42:26,872
- Toad!
- [snarls]
1059
00:42:26,873 --> 00:42:28,676
You're up.
1060
00:42:30,876 --> 00:42:32,041
[yells]
1061
00:42:32,042 --> 00:42:33,747
[both grunt]
1062
00:42:35,012 --> 00:42:35,913
[Deadpool] Uh-oh.
1063
00:42:35,914 --> 00:42:37,685
- Oh, holy sh...
- Fuck.
1064
00:42:37,686 --> 00:42:39,115
[thud]
1065
00:42:39,819 --> 00:42:42,426
[creatures squeaking]
1066
00:42:46,056 --> 00:42:48,492
[Deadpool groans, mumbles]
1067
00:42:48,493 --> 00:42:50,929
[Deadpool] God of Thunder.
1068
00:42:51,831 --> 00:42:53,668
[Deadpool grunts]
1069
00:42:54,031 --> 00:42:55,499
How long was I asleep?
1070
00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:56,967
Not all of you was asleep.
1071
00:42:56,968 --> 00:42:58,904
- [Deadpool grunts]
- Don't bother.
1072
00:42:58,905 --> 00:43:00,839
They're very thorough.
1073
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:04,074
If you know where we are,
start talking.
1074
00:43:04,075 --> 00:43:05,679
You're in The Void.
1075
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,516
Think of it as purgatory.
1076
00:43:07,517 --> 00:43:10,113
Reed called it
a metaphysical junkyard.
1077
00:43:10,114 --> 00:43:11,487
Where anything useless goes
1078
00:43:11,488 --> 00:43:13,489
before it gets
annihilated forever.
1079
00:43:13,490 --> 00:43:16,625
And where the TVA sends
people that don't play nice
1080
00:43:16,626 --> 00:43:18,055
with the rest
of the multiverse.
1081
00:43:18,056 --> 00:43:19,462
- Like you?
- And you.
1082
00:43:19,463 --> 00:43:22,059
[Deadpool] What does
the annihilating?
1083
00:43:22,060 --> 00:43:22,630
Alioth.
1084
00:43:22,631 --> 00:43:24,330
[Deadpool]
Alioth is in this thing?
1085
00:43:24,331 --> 00:43:26,029
From Loki,
Season 1, Episode 5?
1086
00:43:26,030 --> 00:43:29,198
Everyone here
is on the run from Alioth.
1087
00:43:29,199 --> 00:43:30,737
Most don't make it.
1088
00:43:30,738 --> 00:43:32,508
There's a resistance, though.
1089
00:43:32,509 --> 00:43:35,611
Other people like us
that managed to survive.
1090
00:43:35,612 --> 00:43:37,761
They're hidin' out
in the borderlands,
1091
00:43:37,762 --> 00:43:39,912
trying to find a way
the fuck outta here.
1092
00:43:39,913 --> 00:43:41,463
Then that's where we go.
1093
00:43:41,464 --> 00:43:43,707
[Deadpool] "We"? Us? A team?
1094
00:43:43,708 --> 00:43:45,951
The answer is yes.
Shake on it.
1095
00:43:45,952 --> 00:43:46,720
Fuck! You nicked it.
1096
00:43:46,721 --> 00:43:49,107
Just got the tip with
your little steak knife.
1097
00:43:49,108 --> 00:43:51,495
These "others" can help us
get back to the TVA.
1098
00:43:51,496 --> 00:43:53,112
Make 'em fix things.
1099
00:43:53,113 --> 00:43:54,470
[laughs sardonically]
1100
00:43:54,471 --> 00:43:55,828
Something funny, bub?
1101
00:43:55,829 --> 00:43:58,194
She might have somethin'
to say about that.
1102
00:43:58,195 --> 00:43:59,998
Who's "she"?
1103
00:44:00,735 --> 00:44:01,669
In The Void,
1104
00:44:01,670 --> 00:44:04,200
you're either food for Alioth
1105
00:44:04,201 --> 00:44:06,036
or you work for her.
1106
00:44:06,037 --> 00:44:09,139
[♪ stirring music playing]
1107
00:44:18,456 --> 00:44:20,084
[engine roars]
1108
00:44:27,993 --> 00:44:29,896
[metal creaking]
1109
00:44:29,995 --> 00:44:32,129
[heavy metallic thud]
1110
00:44:39,037 --> 00:44:41,237
[engine roaring]
1111
00:44:51,555 --> 00:44:54,690
[♪ tense music playing]
1112
00:45:03,259 --> 00:45:04,633
[grunts]
1113
00:45:04,634 --> 00:45:06,328
[growls quietly]
1114
00:45:06,735 --> 00:45:08,132
[grunts]
1115
00:45:18,175 --> 00:45:20,528
[Deadpool] Huh.
Paul Rudd finally aged.
1116
00:45:20,529 --> 00:45:22,756
Oh, you must be
this year's Juggernaut.
1117
00:45:22,757 --> 00:45:24,984
- Thank you.
- I'd keep your voices down.
1118
00:45:24,985 --> 00:45:26,524
She don't like the chatter.
1119
00:45:26,525 --> 00:45:28,427
She's gonna love you.
1120
00:45:28,757 --> 00:45:32,024
[♪ slow dramatic
music building]
1121
00:45:43,475 --> 00:45:45,510
[Deadpool] Is it...
Is that Charles?
1122
00:45:45,511 --> 00:45:47,941
Hey... Hey, Chuck! It's us!
1123
00:45:47,942 --> 00:45:49,448
That's not Chuck.
1124
00:45:49,449 --> 00:45:51,142
Ah, shit.
1125
00:45:51,681 --> 00:45:52,714
[Deadpool] Oh, ableism. Great.
1126
00:45:52,715 --> 00:45:56,015
That's not gonna go over well
with the woke mob.
1127
00:45:56,016 --> 00:45:57,620
A Wolverine.
1128
00:45:57,621 --> 00:46:00,987
I wondered when
I'd get one of you.
1129
00:46:00,988 --> 00:46:01,789
You're one of Xavier's.
1130
00:46:01,790 --> 00:46:04,089
[Deadpool] You-You know him?
You know Chuck?
1131
00:46:04,090 --> 00:46:05,260
Oh, I knew him.
1132
00:46:05,261 --> 00:46:06,431
We shared a womb.
1133
00:46:06,432 --> 00:46:09,094
Tried to strangle
the sly little fellow
1134
00:46:09,095 --> 00:46:09,830
with my umbilical cord.
1135
00:46:09,831 --> 00:46:13,901
[Deadpool] Amen. I've never
loved roommates. Mine's blind.
1136
00:46:13,902 --> 00:46:15,738
Except she can see cocaine.
1137
00:46:15,739 --> 00:46:16,540
For some... reason.
1138
00:46:16,541 --> 00:46:20,512
You want to chime in,
Your Majesty? I'm dying here.
1139
00:46:20,513 --> 00:46:21,105
Who are you?
1140
00:46:21,106 --> 00:46:23,575
Charles Xavier's twin,
Cassandra Nova.
1141
00:46:23,576 --> 00:46:26,045
- Bullshit!
- I was an anal birth.
1142
00:46:26,046 --> 00:46:28,486
Hmm. You two are cute.
1143
00:46:28,487 --> 00:46:31,050
I have a good feeling
about this.
1144
00:46:33,052 --> 00:46:35,070
And I've been trying to catch
1145
00:46:35,071 --> 00:46:37,089
this little firefly for years.
1146
00:46:37,090 --> 00:46:38,155
Haven't I, Johnny?
1147
00:46:38,156 --> 00:46:41,698
Aw... You picked the wrong
time to make new friends.
1148
00:46:41,699 --> 00:46:43,766
[Deadpool] Oh, Johnny told us
all about you.
1149
00:46:43,767 --> 00:46:45,834
- Maybe shut up now.
- Yeah, maybe don't...
1150
00:46:45,835 --> 00:46:47,231
[Deadpool]
We're just talkin' here.
1151
00:46:47,232 --> 00:46:47,967
Yeah, Johnny told us
1152
00:46:47,968 --> 00:46:49,804
you're a psychotic
megalomaniacal asshole.
1153
00:46:49,805 --> 00:46:54,909
His words, not mine.
Hellbent on domination and pain.
1154
00:46:55,074 --> 00:46:56,845
You said all that about me?
1155
00:46:56,846 --> 00:46:57,845
No! No! I don't...
1156
00:46:57,846 --> 00:47:01,410
- I didn't say any of that!
- Sticks and stones, Johnny!
1157
00:47:02,081 --> 00:47:03,950
Don't let her intimidate you.
1158
00:47:03,951 --> 00:47:05,820
It's like you said
in the convoy.
1159
00:47:05,821 --> 00:47:07,690
This finger-lickin'
dead-inside
1160
00:47:07,691 --> 00:47:10,694
pixie slab of third rate
dime-store nut-milk
1161
00:47:10,695 --> 00:47:12,679
can eat your delicious
cinnamon ring
1162
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:14,640
and kick rocks
all the way to bald hell.
1163
00:47:14,641 --> 00:47:16,600
Okay. I have never said
any of those words
1164
00:47:16,601 --> 00:47:19,065
- in my entire life!
- [Deadpool] Ha! The modesty.
1165
00:47:19,066 --> 00:47:21,540
People think
I'm a shit talker.
1166
00:47:21,541 --> 00:47:22,507
But this guy...
1167
00:47:22,508 --> 00:47:23,954
[smooches] Next level.
1168
00:47:23,955 --> 00:47:25,400
What? This... I... We...
1169
00:47:25,401 --> 00:47:27,138
I don't even know
what half of that means!
1170
00:47:27,139 --> 00:47:28,877
- This... I...
- My hat's off to you, sir.
1171
00:47:28,878 --> 00:47:29,745
- Truly.
- What? This...
1172
00:47:29,746 --> 00:47:32,144
I didn't... He's...
That's... I...
1173
00:47:32,145 --> 00:47:33,408
I... I don't...
1174
00:47:33,409 --> 00:47:36,247
- [Deadpool gasps]
- [heart beats]
1175
00:47:38,381 --> 00:47:39,756
[Deadpool]
Not my favorite Chris.
1176
00:47:39,757 --> 00:47:40,987
You stupid piece of shit.
1177
00:47:40,988 --> 00:47:42,324
You just got him
fucking killed!
1178
00:47:42,325 --> 00:47:43,660
[Deadpool] Hey!
We're all grieving!
1179
00:47:43,661 --> 00:47:46,730
PS, do you know what
he was doing to the budget?
1180
00:47:46,731 --> 00:47:48,424
[shushing]
1181
00:47:49,095 --> 00:47:51,162
Alioth is hungry.
1182
00:47:51,163 --> 00:47:53,000
[Deadpool] There's been
some kind of mistake.
1183
00:47:53,001 --> 00:47:54,869
Big yellow is
a back-up Anchor Being,
1184
00:47:54,870 --> 00:47:57,939
and I'm Marvel Jesus.
MJ, if you're nasty.
1185
00:47:57,940 --> 00:47:58,774
This may be hard to hear,
1186
00:47:58,775 --> 00:48:00,375
but there's
another British villain
1187
00:48:00,376 --> 00:48:01,976
who's gonna destroy
my universe,
1188
00:48:01,977 --> 00:48:02,745
and I'm gonna stop him.
1189
00:48:02,746 --> 00:48:04,583
Oh, honey,
you don't really strike me
1190
00:48:04,584 --> 00:48:06,947
as the world-saving type.
1191
00:48:06,948 --> 00:48:08,719
[thunder rumbling in distance]
1192
00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:10,016
Did I hit a nerve?
1193
00:48:10,017 --> 00:48:12,921
[Deadpool] I didn't want it
to come to this.
1194
00:48:12,922 --> 00:48:13,624
Either you help us
1195
00:48:13,625 --> 00:48:15,406
or my friend here
is gonna sing
1196
00:48:15,407 --> 00:48:17,189
the entire second act
of Music Man
1197
00:48:17,190 --> 00:48:18,992
with zero warm-up.
1198
00:48:18,993 --> 00:48:20,026
Where'd you get the chair?
1199
00:48:20,027 --> 00:48:21,127
[Cassandra Nova]
Well, once in a while,
1200
00:48:21,128 --> 00:48:23,525
I do get a Charles
through here.
1201
00:48:23,526 --> 00:48:24,800
Never mine, though.
1202
00:48:24,801 --> 00:48:27,605
No. He didn't care to find me.
1203
00:48:27,606 --> 00:48:31,004
[Deadpool groans] Gen Z
and their trauma-bragging!
1204
00:48:31,005 --> 00:48:34,580
Can't you just stuff it down,
turn it into accomplishment
1205
00:48:34,581 --> 00:48:36,345
or cancer like the rest of us?
1206
00:48:36,346 --> 00:48:38,111
But I'm not like
the rest of you.
1207
00:48:38,112 --> 00:48:39,716
Except maybe the Wolverine.
1208
00:48:39,717 --> 00:48:42,852
Now, we could be
truly terrifying together.
1209
00:48:42,853 --> 00:48:44,017
You're that scary, huh?
1210
00:48:44,018 --> 00:48:46,085
The TVA certainly thought so.
1211
00:48:46,086 --> 00:48:48,825
They sent me here
before I could walk.
1212
00:48:48,826 --> 00:48:50,596
And you know,
it's the best thing
1213
00:48:50,597 --> 00:48:52,631
that ever happened to me.
1214
00:48:52,632 --> 00:48:53,224
I love it here.
1215
00:48:53,225 --> 00:48:54,390
[Deadpool] You live
in a garbage dump.
1216
00:48:54,391 --> 00:48:58,164
I think we both know who lives
in the garbage dump.
1217
00:48:58,165 --> 00:48:59,637
The Void is a paradise.
1218
00:48:59,638 --> 00:49:02,904
I can wield my power here
without shame.
1219
00:49:02,905 --> 00:49:06,172
Unfortunately I had
no Charles Xavier
1220
00:49:06,173 --> 00:49:08,174
to teach me temperance.
1221
00:49:08,175 --> 00:49:10,176
What about your Charles?
1222
00:49:10,177 --> 00:49:12,012
Did he protect you?
1223
00:49:12,013 --> 00:49:14,014
Did he make you feel safe?
1224
00:49:14,015 --> 00:49:16,583
We're mutants.
We're never safe.
1225
00:49:16,584 --> 00:49:19,152
- [roars]
- [Cassandra whoops]
1226
00:49:19,153 --> 00:49:20,719
[chuckles]
1227
00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:22,287
[whoops]
1228
00:49:23,860 --> 00:49:25,092
[Deadpool] Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
1229
00:49:25,093 --> 00:49:26,577
I don't...
I don't want the smoke.
1230
00:49:26,578 --> 00:49:28,238
I don't have
any beef with you.
1231
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:29,536
I just want
to save my friends.
1232
00:49:29,537 --> 00:49:30,833
I just... I want to go home.
1233
00:49:30,834 --> 00:49:33,001
Well, the thing is,
I could get you home.
1234
00:49:33,002 --> 00:49:35,470
- Good.
- But I don't want to.
1235
00:49:35,471 --> 00:49:37,940
[Deadpool] Not good.
[groaning]
1236
00:49:39,502 --> 00:49:41,602
What do you want, Wade Wilson?
1237
00:49:41,603 --> 00:49:44,749
[Deadpool straining] Your...
fingers are inside me,
1238
00:49:44,750 --> 00:49:45,507
but not in a good way.
1239
00:49:45,508 --> 00:49:48,852
My brother could enter
one's mind with a thought.
1240
00:49:48,853 --> 00:49:51,018
I have to get my hands dirty.
1241
00:49:51,019 --> 00:49:54,319
- [Deadpool groaning]
- [shushing]
1242
00:49:54,484 --> 00:49:56,321
I've got you.
1243
00:49:57,828 --> 00:50:00,061
[whispers] I've got you...
1244
00:50:01,425 --> 00:50:03,702
[Wade, muffled]
What do you mean?
1245
00:50:04,098 --> 00:50:07,673
I can't... I can't reach you.
You're not here.
1246
00:50:07,674 --> 00:50:08,706
I'm right here.
1247
00:50:08,707 --> 00:50:11,875
- No, you're not. I can't...
- I'm right here.
1248
00:50:11,876 --> 00:50:15,109
Then show me.
You got to do something.
1249
00:50:15,780 --> 00:50:16,538
Show you what?
1250
00:50:16,539 --> 00:50:21,059
Show me you care about
something bigger than you.
1251
00:50:21,060 --> 00:50:25,581
Ever since they turned you
down, you took a knee.
1252
00:50:25,582 --> 00:50:28,353
Baby, you never got back up.
1253
00:50:29,486 --> 00:50:31,587
I know you're
going through something.
1254
00:50:31,588 --> 00:50:33,863
Let me go through it with you.
1255
00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:37,736
- Your crazy matches my crazy.
- Your crazy matches my crazy.
1256
00:50:40,299 --> 00:50:42,251
Where'd you go?
1257
00:50:42,252 --> 00:50:44,204
[Wade] Oh, my God.
1258
00:50:44,633 --> 00:50:46,503
[♪ melancholy music playing]
1259
00:50:46,504 --> 00:50:48,208
You just say it. Okay?
1260
00:50:48,209 --> 00:50:49,912
Say, "I don't want you.
1261
00:50:49,913 --> 00:50:51,848
"I don't want to be with you."
1262
00:50:51,849 --> 00:50:53,609
Go ahead. Say it.
Say... Say, "I don't..."
1263
00:50:53,610 --> 00:50:55,198
Say it.
You don't wanna be with me.
1264
00:50:55,199 --> 00:50:56,788
Tell me that
and I'll walk away.
1265
00:50:56,789 --> 00:50:57,678
Say, "I don't want you."
1266
00:50:57,679 --> 00:51:00,957
[♪ melancholy music continues]
1267
00:51:04,257 --> 00:51:05,686
[sighs] Fuck...
1268
00:51:05,687 --> 00:51:09,130
You'll never fucking matter.
1269
00:51:12,595 --> 00:51:13,661
What?
1270
00:51:13,662 --> 00:51:16,775
- You'll never fucking matter.
- Fucking matter.
1271
00:51:16,776 --> 00:51:20,075
[♪ melancholy music continues]
1272
00:51:22,341 --> 00:51:25,509
- [Vanessa] You'll...
- [Cassandra] You'll...
1273
00:51:25,510 --> 00:51:27,093
- never...
- never...
1274
00:51:27,094 --> 00:51:29,722
- fucking...
- fucking...
1275
00:51:29,723 --> 00:51:32,351
- matter.
- matter...
1276
00:51:33,418 --> 00:51:34,622
[Deadpool]
She never said that.
1277
00:51:34,623 --> 00:51:35,826
- [Cassandra] No.
- [groans]
1278
00:51:35,827 --> 00:51:38,192
[in mocking tone]
But I bet she thought it.
1279
00:51:38,193 --> 00:51:38,928
[Deadpool splutters]
1280
00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:41,013
[Deadpool groans]
You are so mean!
1281
00:51:41,014 --> 00:51:43,098
My brain could taste
your fingers,
1282
00:51:43,099 --> 00:51:44,769
and they tasted like hate!
1283
00:51:44,770 --> 00:51:47,971
And where in God's name
is the intimacy coordinator?
1284
00:51:47,972 --> 00:51:50,990
You're so lost, Mr. Wilson.
1285
00:51:50,991 --> 00:51:54,010
And long before you came here.
1286
00:51:54,736 --> 00:51:55,472
This is Baby Knife.
1287
00:51:55,473 --> 00:51:57,112
She's gonna fuck you
in the face now.
1288
00:51:57,113 --> 00:51:57,881
If you want to kill me,
1289
00:51:57,882 --> 00:52:00,148
it's going to take
more than a little blade.
1290
00:52:00,149 --> 00:52:01,676
[Deadpool] How about six?
1291
00:52:01,677 --> 00:52:05,857
[laughs mockingly]
My boy's wicked strong.
1292
00:52:05,858 --> 00:52:07,584
That's my big boy.
1293
00:52:07,585 --> 00:52:09,256
Yes, you are.
1294
00:52:09,257 --> 00:52:10,928
[groans]
1295
00:52:11,192 --> 00:52:12,798
[laughs]
1296
00:52:14,690 --> 00:52:15,998
[Cassandra]
Well, this has been fun.
1297
00:52:15,999 --> 00:52:18,595
But the big guy needs to eat,
and the rent is due.
1298
00:52:18,596 --> 00:52:21,334
- [eerie roar]
- [thunder roaring]
1299
00:52:22,467 --> 00:52:23,533
By the way,
1300
00:52:23,534 --> 00:52:25,041
you're the rent.
1301
00:52:25,042 --> 00:52:27,736
[rumbling]
1302
00:52:35,051 --> 00:52:36,778
[roars]
1303
00:52:39,451 --> 00:52:41,156
[henchmen screaming]
1304
00:52:43,653 --> 00:52:45,874
- [electrical whine]
- Come on! Fuck!
1305
00:52:45,875 --> 00:52:48,097
- [engine starts]
- You comin' or what?
1306
00:52:48,098 --> 00:52:49,934
[Deadpool] Coming!
1307
00:52:59,174 --> 00:53:02,342
[engine sputtering
in distance]
1308
00:53:04,014 --> 00:53:06,676
- [distant scream]
- [engine bursts]
1309
00:53:06,677 --> 00:53:07,946
[grunting]
1310
00:53:07,947 --> 00:53:09,216
[both groan]
1311
00:53:09,217 --> 00:53:09,986
What you thinkin' 'bout?
1312
00:53:09,987 --> 00:53:11,851
- Get the fuck off of me!
- Shh, shh, shh.
1313
00:53:11,852 --> 00:53:13,716
- [strains] Almost done.
- Almost done what?
1314
00:53:13,717 --> 00:53:15,927
Getting my knife out
of your buttocks,
1315
00:53:15,928 --> 00:53:17,686
- pervert!
- Aah! Fuck!
1316
00:53:17,687 --> 00:53:20,139
Get your mind out of my pants!
1317
00:53:20,140 --> 00:53:22,593
- I'm telling Blake.
- New rules.
1318
00:53:22,594 --> 00:53:23,197
I talk now.
1319
00:53:23,198 --> 00:53:24,969
That's gonna be very hard
on the audience.
1320
00:53:24,970 --> 00:53:26,635
Shut the fuck up!
1321
00:53:26,636 --> 00:53:28,301
Let me fuckin' think.
1322
00:53:28,302 --> 00:53:31,338
Now we gotta get back
to Paradox, right?
1323
00:53:32,834 --> 00:53:33,603
Right?
1324
00:53:33,604 --> 00:53:36,508
Je m'excuse. Am I allowed
to speak now or...
1325
00:53:36,509 --> 00:53:39,412
Just nod, asshole.
1326
00:53:40,644 --> 00:53:41,149
Right.
1327
00:53:41,150 --> 00:53:42,535
Then we find the others
that poor kid, Johnny,
1328
00:53:42,536 --> 00:53:43,922
was talking about
before you got him killed!
1329
00:53:43,923 --> 00:53:45,385
[Deadpool] "Poor kid."
He's, like, 50!
1330
00:53:45,386 --> 00:53:46,903
Yeah, if there's
a chance they know
1331
00:53:46,904 --> 00:53:48,828
how to get out of here,
we find 'em.
1332
00:53:48,829 --> 00:53:50,753
And make those TVA fuckers
fix my shit
1333
00:53:50,754 --> 00:53:52,304
like you fucking promised!
1334
00:53:52,305 --> 00:53:53,855
[Deadpool] I smell quest.
1335
00:53:53,856 --> 00:53:55,857
[sniffing]
1336
00:53:56,561 --> 00:53:58,134
I smell food.
1337
00:53:59,861 --> 00:54:04,943
So what made you finally wear
an honest-to-God costume?
1338
00:54:05,405 --> 00:54:07,439
Mine's red
so they can't see me bleed.
1339
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:10,575
But I could see how
yellow would be useful too.
1340
00:54:10,576 --> 00:54:12,808
Have you been checked
for ADHD?
1341
00:54:12,809 --> 00:54:13,775
Mm-mm.
1342
00:54:13,776 --> 00:54:15,711
But I've had several STDs,
1343
00:54:15,712 --> 00:54:18,451
which were probably caused
by ADHD.
1344
00:54:18,452 --> 00:54:19,958
Fuck!
1345
00:54:20,090 --> 00:54:22,026
What are you looking for?
1346
00:54:22,027 --> 00:54:23,994
Oh. Thank fuck.
1347
00:54:23,995 --> 00:54:25,964
No, no, no, no, no.
That's rubbing alcohol.
1348
00:54:25,965 --> 00:54:27,724
You don't want to drink...
Oh, yeah.
1349
00:54:27,725 --> 00:54:29,858
There you go. Fuck that liver.
1350
00:54:29,859 --> 00:54:30,693
[exhales]
1351
00:54:30,694 --> 00:54:33,301
- Good. Okay.
- [sighs]
1352
00:54:33,664 --> 00:54:35,435
What the fuck are those?
1353
00:54:35,666 --> 00:54:36,138
Oh.
1354
00:54:36,139 --> 00:54:38,141
Back in civilian life,
I wear a toupee,
1355
00:54:38,142 --> 00:54:40,176
but nobody knows. [chuckles]
1356
00:54:40,177 --> 00:54:41,947
[laughing]
1357
00:54:42,541 --> 00:54:44,675
Everybody knows.
1358
00:54:46,116 --> 00:54:47,479
Wanna talk about
what's haunting you,
1359
00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:50,285
or should we wait
for a third act flashback?
1360
00:54:50,286 --> 00:54:53,057
Ah... Go fuck yourself.
1361
00:54:55,785 --> 00:54:57,325
You know...
1362
00:54:57,853 --> 00:55:01,230
in my world, you're...
[clears throat]
1363
00:55:01,758 --> 00:55:03,528
You're well regarded.
1364
00:55:03,529 --> 00:55:05,299
Yeah, well, not in mine.
1365
00:55:05,300 --> 00:55:07,698
They don't like me much
in mine either.
1366
00:55:07,699 --> 00:55:08,632
You don't say.
1367
00:55:08,633 --> 00:55:11,702
I wanted to be something,
you know. I...
1368
00:55:11,703 --> 00:55:13,605
Shit, I wanted
to be an Avenger.
1369
00:55:13,606 --> 00:55:15,507
- Fuck the Avengers.
- Yeah.
1370
00:55:15,508 --> 00:55:19,116
I didn't make the cut, though.
Same with the X-Men...
1371
00:55:20,183 --> 00:55:21,051
When my girlfriend left me,
1372
00:55:21,052 --> 00:55:23,615
- and I just...
- You had a girlfriend?
1373
00:55:23,616 --> 00:55:24,836
Yeah.
1374
00:55:24,837 --> 00:55:26,056
Vanessa.
1375
00:55:26,057 --> 00:55:28,422
When we met, she was a dancer.
1376
00:55:28,917 --> 00:55:30,787
We had a whole life.
1377
00:55:31,491 --> 00:55:32,821
It was good.
1378
00:55:32,822 --> 00:55:35,858
But, oh, boy, I just... Mwah.
1379
00:55:36,232 --> 00:55:38,729
Fucked that right up.
1380
00:55:39,037 --> 00:55:39,960
But you,
1381
00:55:39,961 --> 00:55:40,895
you were an X-Man.
1382
00:55:40,896 --> 00:55:44,042
Fuck that.
You were the X-Man. You...
1383
00:55:45,208 --> 00:55:47,111
The Wolverine.
1384
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:51,049
He was a hero in my world.
1385
00:55:52,248 --> 00:55:53,975
Yeah, well...
1386
00:55:54,448 --> 00:55:56,285
he ain't shit in mine.
1387
00:56:00,586 --> 00:56:04,326
You said, "Logan was a hero."
What happened?
1388
00:56:04,821 --> 00:56:06,229
He died.
1389
00:56:06,493 --> 00:56:06,954
How?
1390
00:56:06,955 --> 00:56:09,892
Well, technically,
you were chest-fucked by a tree, but,
1391
00:56:09,893 --> 00:56:11,795
really, you just
ran out of batteries
1392
00:56:11,796 --> 00:56:13,951
- trying to save someone.
- Who?
1393
00:56:13,952 --> 00:56:16,107
The shitheels
that grew her in a lab
1394
00:56:16,108 --> 00:56:18,406
called her "X-23." But...
1395
00:56:18,538 --> 00:56:19,637
she was just a kid.
1396
00:56:19,638 --> 00:56:23,807
A younger, daintier,
somehow meaner version of you.
1397
00:56:23,808 --> 00:56:25,776
You died trying to save her.
1398
00:56:25,777 --> 00:56:26,743
It was beautiful.
1399
00:56:26,744 --> 00:56:29,680
Look, mijo,
I know you're hurtin'.
1400
00:56:29,681 --> 00:56:31,946
My blind, elderly,
African-American roommate,
1401
00:56:31,947 --> 00:56:35,456
Blind Al, always says that
pain teaches us who we are.
1402
00:56:35,457 --> 00:56:37,491
Sometimes we need to listen
to that pain
1403
00:56:37,492 --> 00:56:38,392
instead of running from it.
1404
00:56:38,393 --> 00:56:39,756
- Holy shit.
- Yeah, she's wise.
1405
00:56:39,757 --> 00:56:43,024
No, no, no. That's her name?
You call her "Blind Al"?
1406
00:56:43,025 --> 00:56:44,729
Well, she's blind.
1407
00:56:44,730 --> 00:56:45,366
[dog barking]
1408
00:56:45,367 --> 00:56:49,668
[♪ ballad music plays, Chris
de Burgh "The Lady in Red"]
1409
00:56:54,937 --> 00:56:59,579
♪ I've never seen you looking
so lovely as you did tonight ♪
1410
00:56:59,580 --> 00:57:06,579
♪ I've never seen you shine
so bright, mm-hmm, hmm ♪
1411
00:57:06,817 --> 00:57:11,426
♪ The lady in red ♪
1412
00:57:12,757 --> 00:57:16,662
♪ Is dancing with me ♪
1413
00:57:16,959 --> 00:57:18,927
♪ Cheek to cheek ♪
1414
00:57:18,928 --> 00:57:21,832
♪ There's nobody here... ♪
1415
00:57:21,833 --> 00:57:22,997
Look at you!
1416
00:57:22,998 --> 00:57:23,767
She's coming with us.
1417
00:57:23,768 --> 00:57:25,902
- No, she's not. Fuck no!
- Oh, yes, she is.
1418
00:57:25,903 --> 00:57:27,067
- Oh, yes...
- [man] Sorry!
1419
00:57:27,068 --> 00:57:30,148
- [♪ song stops]
- Sorry about that!
1420
00:57:30,149 --> 00:57:32,678
Come here, girl! [chuckles]
1421
00:57:32,679 --> 00:57:33,843
Who are you?
1422
00:57:33,844 --> 00:57:34,844
Oh, I'm Deadpool.
1423
00:57:34,845 --> 00:57:36,483
And I guess
you're Deadpool too.
1424
00:57:36,484 --> 00:57:38,700
But in here, everybody
calls me "Nicepool."
1425
00:57:38,701 --> 00:57:40,917
Oh, my goodness.
Wait till you see Ladypool.
1426
00:57:40,918 --> 00:57:41,686
She is gorgeous.
1427
00:57:41,687 --> 00:57:44,492
She just had a baby too.
And... [blows sharply]
1428
00:57:44,493 --> 00:57:45,085
Can't even tell.
1429
00:57:45,086 --> 00:57:46,956
I don't think you're supposed
to say that.
1430
00:57:46,957 --> 00:57:48,198
That's okay.
1431
00:57:48,199 --> 00:57:50,168
I identify as a feminist.
1432
00:57:50,169 --> 00:57:51,796
Right.
1433
00:57:52,731 --> 00:57:53,764
Are those gold-plated,
1434
00:57:53,765 --> 00:57:56,537
...50 caliber Desert Eagle
pistoleros?
1435
00:57:56,538 --> 00:57:57,306
'Course.
1436
00:57:57,307 --> 00:57:58,803
To match my ear huggie.
1437
00:57:58,804 --> 00:57:59,869
Can I have 'em?
1438
00:57:59,870 --> 00:58:01,905
[laughs] Over my dead body.
1439
00:58:01,906 --> 00:58:02,674
[chuckles] You're fun.
1440
00:58:02,675 --> 00:58:05,843
And I guess you've
already met Mary Puppins.
1441
00:58:05,844 --> 00:58:07,074
AKA Dogpool.
1442
00:58:07,075 --> 00:58:08,185
Careful where you put
your hands.
1443
00:58:08,186 --> 00:58:11,584
She's ninety percent g-spot,
and she'll let you know it.
1444
00:58:11,585 --> 00:58:14,984
You let this little flirt out
of your sight for one second
1445
00:58:14,985 --> 00:58:17,019
and she starts shopping
for a new papa.
1446
00:58:17,020 --> 00:58:19,053
If you can't be
a responsible pet owner,
1447
00:58:19,054 --> 00:58:22,090
then maybe you don't deserve
this little unicorn.
1448
00:58:22,091 --> 00:58:24,730
Guilty on all charges,
Your Honor.
1449
00:58:24,731 --> 00:58:25,846
Shan't happen again.
1450
00:58:25,847 --> 00:58:26,962
Why are you so nice?
1451
00:58:26,963 --> 00:58:28,750
Oh, it costs nothing
to be kind.
1452
00:58:28,751 --> 00:58:30,538
Shutting the fuck up
is also free.
1453
00:58:30,539 --> 00:58:32,243
- Caliente.
- This is Logan.
1454
00:58:32,244 --> 00:58:32,968
He's usually shirtless,
1455
00:58:32,969 --> 00:58:35,972
but he's let himself go
since the divorce.
1456
00:58:36,610 --> 00:58:38,876
Where's your mask?
1457
00:58:40,845 --> 00:58:41,680
Come on, guys.
1458
00:58:41,681 --> 00:58:43,452
[bird screeches in distance]
1459
00:58:43,453 --> 00:58:44,078
Ugh, this guy.
1460
00:58:44,079 --> 00:58:45,883
We're looking
for a group of survivors.
1461
00:58:45,884 --> 00:58:46,718
Oh, they're out there.
1462
00:58:46,719 --> 00:58:48,687
Yeah, but merc to merc,
you better hope
1463
00:58:48,688 --> 00:58:50,657
that you don't run
into the Deadpool corps.
1464
00:58:50,658 --> 00:58:51,393
Yeah, they're crazy.
1465
00:58:51,394 --> 00:58:53,055
They will chop you up
into a thousand pieces
1466
00:58:53,056 --> 00:58:54,088
and hide you
all over The Void.
1467
00:58:54,089 --> 00:58:56,124
If they could only process
their childhood trauma,
1468
00:58:56,125 --> 00:58:57,961
they'd go on one heck
of a healing journey.
1469
00:58:57,962 --> 00:58:59,798
Look, we're headed
for the borderlands.
1470
00:58:59,799 --> 00:59:00,666
You know where it is?
1471
00:59:00,667 --> 00:59:02,954
Yeah, that...
that's 12 klicks due west.
1472
00:59:02,955 --> 00:59:05,243
I can lend you my ride,
if you like.
1473
00:59:05,244 --> 00:59:08,004
It would be my honor.
1474
00:59:09,841 --> 00:59:10,445
[birds chirping]
1475
00:59:10,446 --> 00:59:12,778
[Deadpool] Oh, no, no, no, no.
Absolutely not.
1476
00:59:12,779 --> 00:59:15,044
Uh-uh. What the...
No! No!
1477
00:59:15,045 --> 00:59:16,078
Just get in the car.
1478
00:59:16,079 --> 00:59:17,111
This isn't a car.
1479
00:59:17,112 --> 00:59:19,432
This is
a Honda fuckin' Odyssey.
1480
00:59:19,433 --> 00:59:21,754
Throttle response
sucks a cock.
1481
00:59:21,755 --> 00:59:22,721
Dated infotainment system.
1482
00:59:22,722 --> 00:59:24,823
When Honda saw
that untreated chlamydia
1483
00:59:24,824 --> 00:59:25,592
was makin' a comeback,
1484
00:59:25,593 --> 00:59:28,794
they invented
the Honda Odyssey to compete.
1485
00:59:28,795 --> 00:59:31,598
Get in the fucking car.
1486
00:59:31,599 --> 00:59:33,865
She'll get you there
safe and sound.
1487
00:59:33,866 --> 00:59:35,569
Old Betsy always does.
1488
00:59:35,570 --> 00:59:38,507
You're gonna have to
give me my dog back, though.
1489
00:59:38,508 --> 00:59:39,639
[Deadpool] I know. Listen.
1490
00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:40,739
- [Dogpool whimpers]
- Yes, child.
1491
00:59:40,740 --> 00:59:43,479
If you ever wanna give her up,
or if she needs a new home,
1492
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:45,877
or if something
should happen to you,
1493
00:59:45,878 --> 00:59:46,613
I'd love to be her papa.
1494
00:59:46,614 --> 00:59:49,419
[laughs] What would
ever happen to me?
1495
00:59:49,420 --> 00:59:51,322
[Deadpool] Lots of stuff.
1496
00:59:54,149 --> 00:59:55,435
- Jesus.
- [Deadpool] No!
1497
00:59:55,436 --> 00:59:56,722
We're running away. [grunts]
1498
00:59:56,723 --> 00:59:58,923
- [Wolverine] Give me that.
- The corn was too dense, girl!
1499
00:59:58,924 --> 00:59:59,989
- [Wolverine] There.
- Come here!
1500
00:59:59,990 --> 01:00:02,432
- [Deadpool] Fuck!
- [Nicepool] Hello!
1501
01:00:03,532 --> 01:00:04,367
- [engine starts]
- Bye.
1502
01:00:04,368 --> 01:00:07,701
[♪ Avril Lavigne "I'm With
You" plays on car stereo]
1503
01:00:07,702 --> 01:00:08,162
[sighs]
1504
01:00:08,163 --> 01:00:12,001
♪ It's a damn cold night ♪
1505
01:00:12,002 --> 01:00:15,890
♪ Trying to figure out
this life ♪
1506
01:00:15,891 --> 01:00:19,779
♪ Won't you take me
by the hand? ♪
1507
01:00:19,780 --> 01:00:21,813
♪ Take me somewhere new ♪
1508
01:00:21,814 --> 01:00:26,918
♪ I don't know who you are
But I ♪
1509
01:00:26,919 --> 01:00:30,118
♪ I'm with you... ♪
1510
01:00:30,119 --> 01:00:32,088
[Deadpool] Okay,
I'm just gonna ask...
1511
01:00:32,089 --> 01:00:32,956
What's with the suit?
1512
01:00:32,957 --> 01:00:34,761
First thing I did
when I flamed out,
1513
01:00:34,762 --> 01:00:35,811
- I took mine off.
- Drop it.
1514
01:00:35,812 --> 01:00:36,861
[Deadpool] It's not that ugly.
1515
01:00:36,862 --> 01:00:38,930
- Stop talking about my suit.
- Did you make it yourself?
1516
01:00:38,931 --> 01:00:39,864
- Been there.
- Quit. Now.
1517
01:00:39,865 --> 01:00:43,132
The X-Men make you wear it?
Those sons of fuckin' bitches.
1518
01:00:43,133 --> 01:00:44,737
They are not your friends,
I'll tell you that.
1519
01:00:44,738 --> 01:00:47,477
Friends don't let friends
leave the house lookin' like
1520
01:00:47,478 --> 01:00:49,644
they fight crime
for the Los Angeles Rams.
1521
01:00:49,645 --> 01:00:50,578
Shut the fuck up
about this, or...
1522
01:00:50,579 --> 01:00:52,944
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch
your frown lines, angel baby.
1523
01:00:52,945 --> 01:00:54,043
I'm just trying
to bond a little bit.
1524
01:00:54,044 --> 01:00:56,453
Yeah, well, then talk
about somethin' else.
1525
01:00:56,454 --> 01:00:57,883
Fine.
1526
01:01:00,655 --> 01:01:02,954
Pshew. Pshew, pshew.
1527
01:01:02,955 --> 01:01:03,888
Pshew!
1528
01:01:03,889 --> 01:01:05,956
- Stop it.
- Pshew.
1529
01:01:05,957 --> 01:01:07,761
If they can fix your world,
what's the first thing
1530
01:01:07,762 --> 01:01:09,092
you're gonna do
when you get out of here?
1531
01:01:09,093 --> 01:01:10,698
Get some
rubbing alcohol shots,
1532
01:01:10,699 --> 01:01:11,995
maybe a wiper fluid chaser?
1533
01:01:11,996 --> 01:01:13,965
- What did you say?
- I said when you get back,
1534
01:01:13,966 --> 01:01:15,604
what's the first thing
you're gonna do?
1535
01:01:15,605 --> 01:01:17,837
No, no, no. Before that.
1536
01:01:18,002 --> 01:01:20,774
If... they can fix your world?
1537
01:01:21,038 --> 01:01:22,446
[grunts]
1538
01:01:24,008 --> 01:01:26,009
What do you mean, "if"?
1539
01:01:26,010 --> 01:01:26,977
- I mean...
- You lied to me.
1540
01:01:26,978 --> 01:01:27,945
You don't have a fucking clue
1541
01:01:27,946 --> 01:01:30,245
if they can help me
fix things, do you?
1542
01:01:30,246 --> 01:01:31,685
No. I mean... Ow!
1543
01:01:31,686 --> 01:01:33,984
Fuck! Fuck! I didn't lie!
1544
01:01:33,985 --> 01:01:38,154
- You lied!
- No! I made an educated wish!
1545
01:01:39,188 --> 01:01:41,322
Because I need you.
1546
01:01:41,465 --> 01:01:44,962
This. This is why. Right here.
1547
01:01:44,963 --> 01:01:47,267
'Cause if we don't do
something, they die.
1548
01:01:47,268 --> 01:01:49,572
I don't know anything
about saving worlds.
1549
01:01:49,573 --> 01:01:50,605
And why would I even care?
1550
01:01:50,606 --> 01:01:54,709
Because my entire world
is right here in this picture.
1551
01:01:54,710 --> 01:01:56,105
It's only nine people,
1552
01:01:56,106 --> 01:01:59,383
and I have no idea
how to save it alone.
1553
01:01:59,384 --> 01:02:02,079
I know how to fuck people up
for money. But you,
1554
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:04,719
you know how to save 'em!
1555
01:02:04,851 --> 01:02:05,934
At least
the other Wolverine did.
1556
01:02:05,935 --> 01:02:07,017
- [flesh squelching]
- [groans]
1557
01:02:07,018 --> 01:02:10,461
Fuck! I guess I'm stuck
with the worst one.
1558
01:02:10,462 --> 01:02:12,528
Did you say you made
1559
01:02:12,529 --> 01:02:15,564
an educated fucking wish?
1560
01:02:15,565 --> 01:02:17,781
They call me
"The Merc with the Mouth."
1561
01:02:17,782 --> 01:02:20,391
They don't call me
"Truthful Timmy,
1562
01:02:20,392 --> 01:02:23,001
"the Blowjob Queen
of Saskatoon."
1563
01:02:23,002 --> 01:02:24,937
[grunts in pain]
1564
01:02:26,136 --> 01:02:27,741
One more word.
1565
01:02:27,742 --> 01:02:31,779
Please give me one.
[breathing heavily]
1566
01:02:33,550 --> 01:02:35,298
Gubernatorial.
1567
01:02:35,299 --> 01:02:37,048
[yelps] Oh, fuck!
1568
01:02:37,488 --> 01:02:40,084
You know what?
You're a fucking joke.
1569
01:02:40,689 --> 01:02:42,019
No wonder the Avengers
didn't take you.
1570
01:02:42,020 --> 01:02:45,562
Or the X-Men. And they'll take
fucking anyone.
1571
01:02:45,563 --> 01:02:46,529
I mean, you are
1572
01:02:46,530 --> 01:02:51,128
a ridiculous, immature,
half-wit moron.
1573
01:02:51,129 --> 01:02:53,064
I have never met
1574
01:02:53,065 --> 01:02:53,767
a sadder,
1575
01:02:53,768 --> 01:02:56,870
more attention-starved,
jabbering little prick
1576
01:02:56,871 --> 01:02:57,705
in my entire life.
1577
01:02:57,706 --> 01:02:59,972
And that says a lot,
'cause I've been alive
1578
01:02:59,973 --> 01:03:03,041
for more than
200 fuckin' years,
1579
01:03:03,042 --> 01:03:03,876
and I'll tell ya,
1580
01:03:03,877 --> 01:03:05,945
that bald chick
was right about one thing.
1581
01:03:05,946 --> 01:03:08,375
You will never save the world!
1582
01:03:08,376 --> 01:03:11,522
You couldn't even save
a relationship
1583
01:03:11,523 --> 01:03:12,753
with a goddamn stripper!
1584
01:03:12,754 --> 01:03:15,872
And motherfucker, I wish
I could say you'd die alone,
1585
01:03:15,873 --> 01:03:18,991
but it's one of God's
best jokes that you can't die,
1586
01:03:18,992 --> 01:03:21,389
except that's on all of us!
1587
01:03:24,502 --> 01:03:27,230
Oh, you got nothing to say,
Mouth?
1588
01:03:27,231 --> 01:03:29,199
[breathing heavily]
1589
01:03:35,612 --> 01:03:37,944
[Deadpool]
I'm gonna fight you now.
1590
01:03:37,945 --> 01:03:39,549
[laughs]
1591
01:03:39,550 --> 01:03:41,849
[snorts] Oh, are you?
1592
01:03:44,555 --> 01:03:46,490
[song plays on radio,
song changing]
1593
01:03:46,491 --> 01:03:50,121
[♪ upbeat pop music plays,
"You're the One That I Want"]
1594
01:03:50,122 --> 01:03:50,758
[grunting]
1595
01:03:50,759 --> 01:03:53,388
- [groaning]
- Mm. Not talkin' now, are ya?
1596
01:03:53,389 --> 01:03:55,631
♪ And I'm losing control ♪
1597
01:03:55,632 --> 01:03:59,999
♪ 'Cause the power
you're supplying ♪
1598
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:02,199
[Deadpool]
Oh, you dirty bitch.
1599
01:04:04,135 --> 01:04:04,772
[growls]
1600
01:04:04,773 --> 01:04:07,468
- [yelling]
- ♪ You better shape up ♪
1601
01:04:07,469 --> 01:04:09,613
♪ 'Cause I need a man ♪
1602
01:04:09,614 --> 01:04:10,778
[both grunting]
1603
01:04:10,779 --> 01:04:14,013
♪ And my heart is set on you ♪
1604
01:04:14,014 --> 01:04:16,400
♪ You better shape up ♪
1605
01:04:16,401 --> 01:04:18,787
- [laughs]
- [Deadpool] Whoo!
1606
01:04:18,985 --> 01:04:19,446
[grunts]
1607
01:04:19,447 --> 01:04:21,624
♪ To my heart,
I must be true ♪
1608
01:04:21,625 --> 01:04:25,761
♪ Nothing left,
nothing left for me to do ♪
1609
01:04:25,762 --> 01:04:28,533
♪ You're the one that I want ♪
1610
01:04:28,534 --> 01:04:30,749
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪
1611
01:04:30,750 --> 01:04:32,424
♪ The one that I want ♪
1612
01:04:32,425 --> 01:04:34,098
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪
1613
01:04:34,099 --> 01:04:36,134
- [straining]
- No, no, no! [screams]
1614
01:04:36,135 --> 01:04:37,068
[screams in high pitch]
1615
01:04:37,069 --> 01:04:40,539
- ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
- [bones crack]
1616
01:04:40,540 --> 01:04:44,010
♪ The one I need
Oh, yes, indeed... ♪
1617
01:04:46,177 --> 01:04:48,014
[choking]
1618
01:04:51,215 --> 01:04:53,052
[yells]
1619
01:04:54,482 --> 01:04:56,891
- Baby Knife!
- [screams]
1620
01:04:58,090 --> 01:04:58,793
[♪ song stops]
1621
01:04:58,794 --> 01:05:02,424
I take it all back.
The Honda Odyssey fucks hard.
1622
01:05:02,425 --> 01:05:03,798
Too bad you don't,
needle dick.
1623
01:05:03,799 --> 01:05:05,833
Oh, we're just
gettin' started, bub.
1624
01:05:05,834 --> 01:05:07,869
- [yells]
- [♪ song resumes playing]
1625
01:05:07,870 --> 01:05:09,854
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪
1626
01:05:09,855 --> 01:05:11,839
[Deadpool] Oh, you... Fuck!
1627
01:05:11,840 --> 01:05:13,611
- [Deadpool groaning loudly]
- ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
1628
01:05:13,612 --> 01:05:15,976
- ♪ The one I need ♪
- [groaning stops]
1629
01:05:15,977 --> 01:05:18,747
♪ Oh, yes, indeed ♪
1630
01:05:18,748 --> 01:05:20,585
♪ You're the one that I want ♪
1631
01:05:20,586 --> 01:05:22,218
[♪ song fades out]
1632
01:05:22,219 --> 01:05:23,852
[birds chirping]
1633
01:05:25,623 --> 01:05:27,823
[leaves rustling]
1634
01:05:30,122 --> 01:05:33,224
[♪ ominous music playing]
1635
01:05:34,698 --> 01:05:36,634
[car door opens and closes]
1636
01:05:36,635 --> 01:05:38,295
[engine starts]
1637
01:05:49,570 --> 01:05:52,749
[♪ cryptic music playing]
1638
01:05:52,750 --> 01:05:54,817
[water dripping]
1639
01:06:04,057 --> 01:06:05,894
[Deadpool] Thor!
1640
01:06:08,127 --> 01:06:08,896
Where are we?
1641
01:06:08,897 --> 01:06:11,965
No clue, but...
I like it here.
1642
01:06:11,966 --> 01:06:15,904
- [door opens]
- [♪ cryptic music intensifies]
1643
01:06:18,137 --> 01:06:19,566
[grunting]
1644
01:06:19,567 --> 01:06:21,943
[Deadpool] Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
1645
01:06:21,944 --> 01:06:25,111
[♪ sentimental music playing]
1646
01:06:30,754 --> 01:06:32,656
- [♪ music pauses]
- [low growl]
1647
01:06:32,657 --> 01:06:36,188
[♪ dramatic electronic
music playing]
1648
01:06:45,098 --> 01:06:47,738
[electrical humming]
1649
01:06:52,567 --> 01:06:54,107
[cat meows]
1650
01:07:09,485 --> 01:07:10,926
[♪ music fades out]
1651
01:07:10,927 --> 01:07:12,124
Okay.
1652
01:07:12,125 --> 01:07:16,327
Look at you... all.
You must be the others.
1653
01:07:16,459 --> 01:07:17,228
Terrific.
1654
01:07:17,229 --> 01:07:19,313
So just to refresh, you are
1655
01:07:19,314 --> 01:07:21,397
- Wonder...
- Elektra.
1656
01:07:21,398 --> 01:07:24,268
[Deadpool] Elektra?
Yes. Who could forget?
1657
01:07:24,269 --> 01:07:27,140
And you. I was not expecting
to see you here.
1658
01:07:27,141 --> 01:07:29,043
I thought you were, you know,
1659
01:07:29,044 --> 01:07:31,243
retired. [chuckles]
1660
01:07:31,441 --> 01:07:32,948
Retarded?
1661
01:07:33,641 --> 01:07:34,542
[Deadpool] "Retired."
1662
01:07:34,543 --> 01:07:35,444
I'm already in The Void.
1663
01:07:35,445 --> 01:07:36,577
I'm not trying
to get canceled again.
1664
01:07:36,578 --> 01:07:39,724
- I don't like you.
- [Deadpool] You never did.
1665
01:07:40,087 --> 01:07:42,925
And who's this
succulent reminder
1666
01:07:42,926 --> 01:07:44,652
of my own inadequacies?
1667
01:07:44,653 --> 01:07:45,520
Look at you.
1668
01:07:45,521 --> 01:07:48,425
You look like the
superhero version of Hawkeye.
1669
01:07:48,426 --> 01:07:51,967
The name's Remy LeBeau,
Le Diable Blanc.
1670
01:07:51,968 --> 01:07:53,033
But you can call me
the Gambit.
1671
01:07:53,034 --> 01:07:55,663
[Deadpool] It's been a while
since I've seen Sling Blade.
1672
01:07:55,664 --> 01:07:57,235
Hit me again.
1673
01:07:57,236 --> 01:07:58,038
They call me the Gambit.
1674
01:07:58,039 --> 01:07:59,502
[Deadpool] Do they?
Are you sure you didn't
1675
01:07:59,503 --> 01:08:01,306
just really,
really want them to,
1676
01:08:01,307 --> 01:08:03,110
but it never quite worked out?
1677
01:08:03,539 --> 01:08:04,638
[speaks indistinctly]
1678
01:08:04,639 --> 01:08:08,115
You know, we never had
a Wolverine up in here.
1679
01:08:08,116 --> 01:08:08,884
But I can tell you now,
1680
01:08:08,885 --> 01:08:10,699
it's just a common courtesy
to ask
1681
01:08:10,700 --> 01:08:12,514
before you drink up
all of my liquor.
1682
01:08:12,515 --> 01:08:15,089
Well, it's a good thing
I don't give a fuck.
1683
01:08:15,090 --> 01:08:18,158
[laughs, speaks indistinctly]
1684
01:08:18,796 --> 01:08:20,226
Fuck.
1685
01:08:21,458 --> 01:08:24,329
- [bottle smashes]
- [Deadpool] So embarrassing.
1686
01:08:24,835 --> 01:08:25,494
Boo, boo, boo.
1687
01:08:25,495 --> 01:08:26,649
Well, now that
that's settled, look,
1688
01:08:26,650 --> 01:08:27,804
we came a long way
to find you three.
1689
01:08:27,805 --> 01:08:30,071
- There's four of us.
- [Deadpool] There's four...
1690
01:08:30,072 --> 01:08:31,698
Hey, wait. Is it Magneto?
1691
01:08:31,699 --> 01:08:34,009
Dear sweet God in heaven,
let it be Magneto,
1692
01:08:34,010 --> 01:08:35,075
- because with him...
- He's dead.
1693
01:08:35,076 --> 01:08:36,945
[Deadpool] Fuck!
Now Disney gets cheap?
1694
01:08:36,946 --> 01:08:38,997
It's like Pinocchio jammed
his face in my ass
1695
01:08:38,998 --> 01:08:41,337
- and started lying like crazy.
- Ooh, you nasty!
1696
01:08:41,338 --> 01:08:44,025
Mon petit rouge. Laissez
les bons temps rouler, huh?
1697
01:08:44,026 --> 01:08:46,714
[Deadpool] Not a single word.
What do you do exactly?
1698
01:08:46,715 --> 01:08:49,221
Charge the playing cards
and make 'em go boom!
1699
01:08:49,222 --> 01:08:51,862
[Deadpool] Your power's
close-up magic. That's good.
1700
01:08:51,863 --> 01:08:53,798
We're not totally
fucked at all.
1701
01:08:53,799 --> 01:08:55,464
So who brought us here?
1702
01:08:55,465 --> 01:08:57,131
[Voice] That would be me.
1703
01:08:58,660 --> 01:09:01,971
[♪ pensive music playing]
1704
01:09:06,734 --> 01:09:08,670
Don't make me regret it.
1705
01:09:09,011 --> 01:09:12,817
[Deadpool] Holy shit. Logan.
That's her. That's X-23.
1706
01:09:12,818 --> 01:09:15,380
She's the one
I told you about.
1707
01:09:18,647 --> 01:09:21,188
Hey, how did you all get stuck
in The Void?
1708
01:09:21,189 --> 01:09:23,058
There was a knock at the door.
1709
01:09:23,059 --> 01:09:24,422
- TVA sent me here.
- Me, too.
1710
01:09:24,423 --> 01:09:25,785
Well, maybe I was born here.
1711
01:09:25,786 --> 01:09:28,139
It's... It's hard
to know for sure.
1712
01:09:28,140 --> 01:09:30,493
TVA decided
our universe was dying.
1713
01:09:30,494 --> 01:09:33,838
And I never even got a chance
to fight for it.
1714
01:09:35,400 --> 01:09:37,699
[Elektra] People like us
don't go quietly.
1715
01:09:37,700 --> 01:09:40,053
TVA knows that,
so they took us out.
1716
01:09:40,054 --> 01:09:42,407
[smooches]
The answer is yes. I'm in.
1717
01:09:42,408 --> 01:09:44,177
- In what?
- [Deadpool] A team.
1718
01:09:44,178 --> 01:09:45,992
Me, you, you, and me.
All of us together.
1719
01:09:45,993 --> 01:09:47,884
Let's get the fuck
out of this place.
1720
01:09:47,885 --> 01:09:49,777
Don't listen to him.
He's a fucking liar!
1721
01:09:49,778 --> 01:09:51,746
[Deadpool]
It was an educated wish!
1722
01:09:51,747 --> 01:09:54,188
- Ha!
- [Deadpool] Look.
1723
01:09:54,551 --> 01:09:56,486
We've been inside
Cassandra's lair.
1724
01:09:56,487 --> 01:09:59,094
The only way out of The Void
is through her.
1725
01:09:59,095 --> 01:10:01,294
She can get us home.
She told us.
1726
01:10:01,295 --> 01:10:03,493
Wait a minute,
you've been inside?
1727
01:10:03,494 --> 01:10:05,132
- And you made it out alive?
- Bullshit.
1728
01:10:05,133 --> 01:10:07,866
- Nobody's ever done that.
- [Deadpool] We did.
1729
01:10:07,867 --> 01:10:10,600
Every time one of us
has gone up against her,
1730
01:10:10,601 --> 01:10:11,171
they die.
1731
01:10:11,172 --> 01:10:13,878
The Punisher, the Quicksilver,
the Daredevil.
1732
01:10:13,879 --> 01:10:15,962
[Deadpool] Daredevil?
I'm so sorry.
1733
01:10:15,963 --> 01:10:18,047
- It's fine.
- [Deadpool] Okay.
1734
01:10:18,839 --> 01:10:22,546
Even that sweet, baby angel,
Johnny Storm.
1735
01:10:22,547 --> 01:10:24,152
He up and gone missing like,
1736
01:10:24,153 --> 01:10:25,955
what, two days ago?
1737
01:10:25,956 --> 01:10:27,814
[Deadpool] Ugh. That's so sad.
1738
01:10:27,815 --> 01:10:31,225
Wherever this Johnny fella is,
I'm sure he's thriving.
1739
01:10:31,226 --> 01:10:31,961
[Wolverine chuckles]
1740
01:10:31,962 --> 01:10:34,789
Look, there's...
there's strength in numbers.
1741
01:10:34,790 --> 01:10:35,459
All right? Us...
1742
01:10:35,460 --> 01:10:36,526
plus, you guys.
We can put Cassandra
1743
01:10:36,527 --> 01:10:39,002
over our knee and force her
to let us out of The Void.
1744
01:10:39,003 --> 01:10:40,503
I know what it means
to feel self-doubt.
1745
01:10:40,504 --> 01:10:42,004
- I don't feel that at all.
- I'm good.
1746
01:10:42,005 --> 01:10:44,403
[Deadpool] Gnawing at your gut
like a coked-up tapeworm.
1747
01:10:44,404 --> 01:10:46,075
It's like you're holding up
a mirror to my soul.
1748
01:10:46,076 --> 01:10:47,945
[Deadpool] You guys
may not have been able
1749
01:10:47,946 --> 01:10:49,776
to save your universes.
1750
01:10:49,777 --> 01:10:51,607
But you can avenge them.
1751
01:10:51,608 --> 01:10:53,214
It's what Johnny
would have wanted.
1752
01:10:53,215 --> 01:10:56,921
Wait. You knew Johnny?
1753
01:10:57,053 --> 01:10:57,987
[chuckles] Oh, yeah.
1754
01:10:57,988 --> 01:10:59,615
Dickhead here talked him
into a team-up,
1755
01:10:59,616 --> 01:11:02,454
and Johnny came down with
a little case of the deads.
1756
01:11:02,455 --> 01:11:03,685
[Deadpool] No, no, no.
We don't know that.
1757
01:11:03,686 --> 01:11:06,270
It was just a flesh wound.
He may have survived.
1758
01:11:06,271 --> 01:11:08,856
If he survived that,
he is prayin' for death.
1759
01:11:08,857 --> 01:11:10,896
[Deadpool] Thank you,
Doctor Wolverine!
1760
01:11:10,897 --> 01:11:12,937
- Spill it!
- What'd you do to Johnny, huh?
1761
01:11:12,938 --> 01:11:14,003
Talk or I'm gonna
start dealin'.
1762
01:11:14,004 --> 01:11:16,732
[Deadpool] Okay. Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.
1763
01:11:16,733 --> 01:11:17,303
Look.
1764
01:11:17,304 --> 01:11:19,702
He ran his fat-ass mouth
about Cassandra.
1765
01:11:19,703 --> 01:11:21,076
Then she zip-zapped his skin,
1766
01:11:21,077 --> 01:11:23,045
leaving his organs to splash
crudely onto the ground
1767
01:11:23,046 --> 01:11:26,676
while the soil greedily drank his blood.
It was horrible.
1768
01:11:26,677 --> 01:11:27,808
He was like a brother to me.
1769
01:11:27,809 --> 01:11:31,351
Look, he died before he could
make a difference. But...
1770
01:11:31,352 --> 01:11:32,814
- [laughs]
- Look, maybe you couldn't
1771
01:11:32,815 --> 01:11:33,957
save your worlds, but...
1772
01:11:33,958 --> 01:11:36,553
but Jesus Christ,
you can save mine!
1773
01:11:36,554 --> 01:11:38,819
I don't give a shit
about your world, but
1774
01:11:38,820 --> 01:11:42,131
if these two made it out of
there alive, maybe together,
1775
01:11:42,132 --> 01:11:43,824
we can get back in
and take her down.
1776
01:11:43,825 --> 01:11:46,497
Where I come from,
we call that suicide, Chere.
1777
01:11:46,498 --> 01:11:49,171
[Deadpool] If we can block
her psychic powers,
1778
01:11:49,172 --> 01:11:51,239
we can get a leg up.
I know it.
1779
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:52,976
Now, I know Magneto's dead.
1780
01:11:52,977 --> 01:11:55,374
But I'd venture to guess
that his helmet is lying
1781
01:11:55,375 --> 01:11:57,674
- around here somewhere...
- Cassandra melted the helmet.
1782
01:11:57,675 --> 01:11:58,983
- [Deadpool] Fuck!
- After she killed him.
1783
01:11:58,984 --> 01:12:00,699
- [Deadpool] Fuck!
- She don't play.
1784
01:12:00,700 --> 01:12:02,288
She knows that helmet
was the only way
1785
01:12:02,289 --> 01:12:03,877
to protect anyone
from her powers.
1786
01:12:03,878 --> 01:12:06,221
The only other helmet that
strong is Juggernaut's,
1787
01:12:06,222 --> 01:12:07,089
but he works for Cassandra.
1788
01:12:07,090 --> 01:12:08,453
[Deadpool] Juggernaut's helmet.
That's it.
1789
01:12:08,454 --> 01:12:10,390
Yeah, and we done be knowing
that lid ain't comin' off
1790
01:12:10,391 --> 01:12:11,996
without that dome
gonna come off wit'it.
1791
01:12:11,997 --> 01:12:13,492
[Deadpool] I'm so sorry, beautiful.
1792
01:12:13,493 --> 01:12:14,327
I want this to be gentle.
1793
01:12:14,328 --> 01:12:16,197
Who is your dialect coach?
The Minions?
1794
01:12:16,198 --> 01:12:20,730
I feel like we are missing
critical exposition here.
1795
01:12:20,731 --> 01:12:23,986
I'm sick of this shit.
I'm sick of hiding.
1796
01:12:23,987 --> 01:12:27,242
Let's face it,
our worlds forgot about us.
1797
01:12:27,243 --> 01:12:29,178
Or never learned about us.
1798
01:12:29,179 --> 01:12:30,597
The heroes we were.
1799
01:12:30,598 --> 01:12:31,889
Lives we saved.
1800
01:12:31,890 --> 01:12:33,181
Or wanted to save.
1801
01:12:33,182 --> 01:12:35,580
Maybe these two
are our chance.
1802
01:12:35,581 --> 01:12:36,778
[gurgling]
1803
01:12:36,779 --> 01:12:38,516
To be remembered.
1804
01:12:38,517 --> 01:12:40,255
The way we deserve.
1805
01:12:40,849 --> 01:12:41,982
[Deadpool] Yes.
1806
01:12:41,983 --> 01:12:43,587
An ending.
1807
01:12:43,588 --> 01:12:44,886
- Legacy.
- [Deadpool] Yes!
1808
01:12:44,887 --> 01:12:46,095
Yes! Let this man cook.
1809
01:12:46,096 --> 01:12:47,943
This is what
I'm talking about.
1810
01:12:47,944 --> 01:12:49,792
Big slow-motion fights,
sad music.
1811
01:12:49,793 --> 01:12:50,660
Everybody working together.
1812
01:12:50,661 --> 01:12:52,696
Who knows if you live or die?
That sorta thing.
1813
01:12:52,697 --> 01:12:55,138
- Who's ready?
- I was born ready.
1814
01:12:55,139 --> 01:12:56,188
[Deadpool] Yes!
Gambit?
1815
01:12:56,189 --> 01:12:57,238
I ain't know my daddy,
1816
01:12:57,239 --> 01:12:59,004
but I'm sure I shot out
of his dick ready.
1817
01:12:59,005 --> 01:13:00,769
[Deadpool] Jesus Christ,
that is graphic.
1818
01:13:00,770 --> 01:13:02,739
Yeah. He was layin' them
buttery nuts all up in my mama
1819
01:13:02,740 --> 01:13:04,840
and I shot out there
and I said, "What's up, Doc?"
1820
01:13:04,841 --> 01:13:07,744
[Deadpool laughs]
Johnny must have loved you.
1821
01:13:07,745 --> 01:13:10,186
X-23, what's it gonna be?
1822
01:13:10,187 --> 01:13:10,878
The name's Laura.
1823
01:13:10,879 --> 01:13:14,091
- Let's fucking go.
- [Deadpool] Let's fucking go!
1824
01:13:14,092 --> 01:13:15,190
It's on like chicken and corn.
1825
01:13:15,191 --> 01:13:17,061
- [Deadpool] Yeah!
- We're doing this.
1826
01:13:17,062 --> 01:13:17,819
You're all fuckin' dead.
1827
01:13:17,820 --> 01:13:21,164
[Deadpool] My God!
Read the room.
1828
01:13:23,892 --> 01:13:26,301
[crickets chirping]
1829
01:13:29,766 --> 01:13:30,601
[exhales]
1830
01:13:30,602 --> 01:13:35,145
Hey, hey. I'm not lookin'
for company. Get out of here.
1831
01:13:36,608 --> 01:13:38,059
You remind me of him.
1832
01:13:38,060 --> 01:13:39,511
Angry. Drunk. Mean...
1833
01:13:39,512 --> 01:13:42,845
- Sounds like a great guy...
- Wasn't finished.
1834
01:13:43,648 --> 01:13:46,255
Showed up when
it mattered the most.
1835
01:13:47,850 --> 01:13:50,160
Couldn't help it.
1836
01:13:51,227 --> 01:13:52,656
[sighs]
1837
01:13:52,657 --> 01:13:54,824
You might not know it, but...
1838
01:13:54,956 --> 01:13:56,694
you're a good man, Logan.
1839
01:13:56,695 --> 01:13:58,167
[chuckles]
1840
01:13:58,168 --> 01:14:00,236
You might not know it,
but apparently,
1841
01:14:00,237 --> 01:14:02,304
I'm the worst Logan.
1842
01:14:03,140 --> 01:14:06,033
I got to have a life
because of you.
1843
01:14:08,002 --> 01:14:10,675
I got to grow up
because of you.
1844
01:14:12,039 --> 01:14:13,116
A lot of kids did.
1845
01:14:13,117 --> 01:14:16,384
A lot of kids didn't grow up
because of me.
1846
01:14:17,781 --> 01:14:20,190
Trust me, kid, I'm no hero.
1847
01:14:20,751 --> 01:14:22,719
That suit says different.
1848
01:14:22,720 --> 01:14:25,756
- Yeah. Do you like it?
- Mm.
1849
01:14:26,625 --> 01:14:29,331
Scott used to beg me
to wear it.
1850
01:14:30,827 --> 01:14:34,204
So did Jean, Storm, Beast.
1851
01:14:35,733 --> 01:14:36,964
All of them.
1852
01:14:36,965 --> 01:14:41,188
They wanted me to be part
of the team, but I wouldn't.
1853
01:14:41,189 --> 01:14:45,413
Told 'em they all look
fucking ridiculous. I mean...
1854
01:14:45,941 --> 01:14:49,978
I couldn't have 'em thinkin'
I wanted to be there.
1855
01:14:54,455 --> 01:14:57,084
And then one day,
while I was off on my own,
1856
01:14:57,085 --> 01:14:58,887
the humans came...
1857
01:14:58,888 --> 01:15:00,989
and went mutant hunting.
1858
01:15:01,561 --> 01:15:03,111
I can guess the rest.
1859
01:15:03,112 --> 01:15:04,663
No, no, let me...
1860
01:15:05,235 --> 01:15:07,094
Let me say it. I...
1861
01:15:09,063 --> 01:15:10,900
I need to say it.
1862
01:15:12,099 --> 01:15:15,542
By the time I stumbled home
shitfaced from the bar,
1863
01:15:15,543 --> 01:15:17,379
it was too late.
1864
01:15:20,140 --> 01:15:22,846
They were dead. Every...
[stifling sob]
1865
01:15:24,419 --> 01:15:27,323
[♪ mournful music playing]
1866
01:15:27,587 --> 01:15:32,086
This suit's all I got to
remind me of who they were.
1867
01:15:33,560 --> 01:15:35,122
And what I did.
1868
01:15:42,470 --> 01:15:43,966
[sniffles]
1869
01:15:47,002 --> 01:15:49,906
We're headed to Cassandra's
at sunup.
1870
01:15:50,038 --> 01:15:52,744
Have fun. Not my fight.
1871
01:15:54,878 --> 01:15:57,683
We won't pull this off
without you.
1872
01:16:03,150 --> 01:16:07,957
Hey. Whoever you think I am,
you got the wrong guy.
1873
01:16:09,893 --> 01:16:12,401
You were always the wrong guy.
1874
01:16:17,868 --> 01:16:21,069
[♪ mournful music continues]
1875
01:16:35,457 --> 01:16:37,690
[cell phone ringing]
1876
01:16:37,691 --> 01:16:38,184
What?
1877
01:16:38,185 --> 01:16:40,021
Alioth didn't get them.
[sniffs]
1878
01:16:40,022 --> 01:16:43,465
Cassandra wanted to
play with them herself first.
1879
01:16:43,466 --> 01:16:44,091
They got away.
1880
01:16:44,092 --> 01:16:45,863
- Did they find the others?
- No.
1881
01:16:45,864 --> 01:16:46,896
Good. All right. Phew.
1882
01:16:46,897 --> 01:16:48,816
- The others found them.
- Oh, very cute.
1883
01:16:48,817 --> 01:16:50,736
Well done, Pyro.
Classic bait and switch.
1884
01:16:50,737 --> 01:16:53,408
- You really got me there.
- Relax.
1885
01:16:53,409 --> 01:16:55,873
If they come after Nova,
she'll handle it.
1886
01:16:55,874 --> 01:16:57,676
Cassandra is
a lunatic wild card.
1887
01:16:57,677 --> 01:16:59,943
Why do you think we put her
there in the first place?
1888
01:16:59,944 --> 01:17:02,715
Thank God she's never chosen
to leave The Void.
1889
01:17:02,716 --> 01:17:05,487
The Time Ripper is hours away
from completion.
1890
01:17:05,488 --> 01:17:06,851
I cannot take any chances.
1891
01:17:06,852 --> 01:17:07,984
Well, maybe not.
1892
01:17:07,985 --> 01:17:09,034
But I can.
1893
01:17:09,035 --> 01:17:10,084
For a price.
1894
01:17:10,085 --> 01:17:11,988
Why do you have to
say it in that silly voice?
1895
01:17:11,989 --> 01:17:12,625
It's so icky.
1896
01:17:12,626 --> 01:17:15,123
- You want it done or not?
- All right. Your price.
1897
01:17:15,124 --> 01:17:16,894
Take her out.
1898
01:17:16,895 --> 01:17:18,664
Ugh. Mutants.
1899
01:17:18,665 --> 01:17:20,029
[♪ hip-hop music plays,
T.I. "Bring 'Em Out"]
1900
01:17:20,030 --> 01:17:22,767
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1901
01:17:22,768 --> 01:17:24,572
♪ It's hard to yell when
the bar-rel's in your mouth ♪
1902
01:17:24,573 --> 01:17:27,206
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ Swizzy! ♪
1903
01:17:27,207 --> 01:17:29,840
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1904
01:17:29,841 --> 01:17:31,677
♪ T-I-P, coming live
from the V.I.P. ♪
1905
01:17:31,678 --> 01:17:33,877
♪ Heard the nightlife
lost life without me ♪
1906
01:17:33,878 --> 01:17:37,414
♪ Both the feds and the state
wanna see 'bout me ♪
1907
01:17:37,415 --> 01:17:40,951
♪ The whole city got biz-zerk,
he got three... ♪
1908
01:17:40,952 --> 01:17:41,687
Ooh! Look at that there!
1909
01:17:41,688 --> 01:17:43,057
You see them biggum hands
come closed.
1910
01:17:43,058 --> 01:17:44,426
Ain't not a wonna gettin' up
inside there.
1911
01:17:44,427 --> 01:17:46,643
[Deadpool] I think what
Gambit's trying to say is
1912
01:17:46,644 --> 01:17:48,860
getting Juggernaut's helmet
ain't gonna be easy.
1913
01:17:48,861 --> 01:17:50,262
I'm just making
stuff up at this...
1914
01:17:50,263 --> 01:17:51,664
- Yeah. Tilt up to Blade.
- Gun!
1915
01:17:51,665 --> 01:17:54,282
♪ Mississippi to Philly,
Albuquerque to Chatt-Town ♪
1916
01:17:54,283 --> 01:17:56,901
♪ If I hit you in the face,
you gon' be suing and shit ♪
1917
01:17:56,902 --> 01:17:59,167
[Deadpool] Where'd he get
that little beauty?
1918
01:17:59,168 --> 01:18:00,673
That's Punisher's AT4.
1919
01:18:00,674 --> 01:18:03,611
Which Punisher? There's been,
like, five of them.
1920
01:18:03,612 --> 01:18:04,941
There's only been one Blade,
1921
01:18:04,942 --> 01:18:06,382
and there's only ever
gonna be one Blade.
1922
01:18:06,383 --> 01:18:08,583
♪ Who got a flow and a live
show better than mine? ♪
1923
01:18:08,584 --> 01:18:11,751
♪ I got a packed
house yellin' ♪
1924
01:18:11,752 --> 01:18:13,252
Incoming!
1925
01:18:13,253 --> 01:18:14,753
Ahhh!
1926
01:18:14,754 --> 01:18:16,123
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1927
01:18:16,124 --> 01:18:17,490
♪ Ayy, from the back,
they yellin ♪
1928
01:18:17,491 --> 01:18:18,905
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1929
01:18:18,906 --> 01:18:20,300
♪ Ayy, all
the dope boys yellin' ♪
1930
01:18:20,301 --> 01:18:21,663
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1931
01:18:21,664 --> 01:18:23,378
♪ Ayy, from the back,
they yellin ♪
1932
01:18:23,379 --> 01:18:25,094
- [♪ song stops]
- [fire roaring]
1933
01:18:27,536 --> 01:18:29,670
[tires screeching]
1934
01:18:30,605 --> 01:18:32,205
♪ Mic check,
one-two, one-two ♪
1935
01:18:32,206 --> 01:18:33,806
♪ You wanna beef
with the King? ♪
1936
01:18:33,807 --> 01:18:34,872
♪ What is you gon' do? ♪
1937
01:18:34,873 --> 01:18:37,276
♪ Will you show up on the
scene with two guns drew? ♪
1938
01:18:37,277 --> 01:18:39,680
♪ Or you and your friend and
play a little two-on-two? ♪
1939
01:18:39,681 --> 01:18:41,148
♪ If you knew half
of what I knew ♪
1940
01:18:41,149 --> 01:18:42,617
♪ Then you'd be
hitting the deck ♪
1941
01:18:42,618 --> 01:18:43,816
♪ I got a tool and a vest ♪
1942
01:18:43,817 --> 01:18:45,014
♪ I can get some respect ♪
1943
01:18:45,015 --> 01:18:47,115
♪ Yeah, what other Southern
rapper hood-er than this? ♪
1944
01:18:47,116 --> 01:18:49,217
♪ I got rich, and I'm still
on some hooligan shit ♪
1945
01:18:49,218 --> 01:18:50,823
♪ Standing in your
front yard yellin' ♪
1946
01:18:50,824 --> 01:18:52,209
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1947
01:18:52,210 --> 01:18:53,584
♪ Ayy, all
my hot girls yellin' ♪
1948
01:18:53,585 --> 01:18:55,008
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1949
01:18:55,009 --> 01:18:56,567
♪ Ayy, all
the dope boys yellin' ♪
1950
01:18:56,568 --> 01:18:58,127
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1951
01:18:58,128 --> 01:19:00,063
[♪ song stops]
1952
01:19:02,736 --> 01:19:03,670
[♪ song resumes]
1953
01:19:03,671 --> 01:19:07,366
♪ Hands in the air now! ♪
1954
01:19:07,367 --> 01:19:10,447
♪ Hands-hands in the-
in the air-air now! ♪
1955
01:19:10,448 --> 01:19:11,447
♪ I can't hear you! ♪
1956
01:19:11,448 --> 01:19:16,453
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1957
01:19:16,454 --> 01:19:18,147
[♪ song ends]
1958
01:19:19,148 --> 01:19:20,984
Ooh, this is gonna be good.
1959
01:19:20,985 --> 01:19:23,421
You know how long
I've been waiting for this?
1960
01:19:23,422 --> 01:19:25,525
Whoo! I'm about to make
a name for myself here.
1961
01:19:25,526 --> 01:19:27,628
I don't think you guys
walk away from this.
1962
01:19:27,629 --> 01:19:29,944
You just make sure people know
what happened here today.
1963
01:19:29,945 --> 01:19:32,260
And when you get out of here,
you have a drink for me, yeah?
1964
01:19:32,261 --> 01:19:34,949
You just stay on our six
and get inside.
1965
01:19:34,950 --> 01:19:37,639
We'll make sure
you get the package.
1966
01:19:37,640 --> 01:19:39,905
And we'll get our ending.
1967
01:19:39,906 --> 01:19:42,171
[♪ thrilling music playing]
1968
01:19:55,052 --> 01:19:57,153
[♪ music fades out]
1969
01:19:59,628 --> 01:20:01,663
[all yelling]
1970
01:20:05,898 --> 01:20:09,198
[♪ epic music playing]
1971
01:20:10,606 --> 01:20:12,333
[all grunting]
1972
01:20:34,696 --> 01:20:35,564
[groans]
1973
01:20:35,565 --> 01:20:37,600
[electrical roar and hum]
1974
01:20:37,601 --> 01:20:39,360
[crackling]
1975
01:20:49,436 --> 01:20:50,238
And boom!
1976
01:20:50,239 --> 01:20:52,340
[all grunting]
1977
01:20:52,549 --> 01:20:54,375
[laughs, grunts]
1978
01:21:19,774 --> 01:21:20,741
[♪ music stops]
1979
01:21:20,742 --> 01:21:24,042
Heh. Some motherfuckers still
trying to ice skate uphill.
1980
01:21:24,043 --> 01:21:26,044
[henchmen yelling]
1981
01:21:28,277 --> 01:21:29,464
[slurps]
1982
01:21:29,465 --> 01:21:30,652
[footsteps]
1983
01:21:30,653 --> 01:21:33,084
You two escaping,
I could live with.
1984
01:21:33,085 --> 01:21:36,824
But coming back? Willingly?
1985
01:21:37,693 --> 01:21:39,089
Boys are so silly.
1986
01:21:39,090 --> 01:21:40,123
[Deadpool]
I just need to get home.
1987
01:21:40,124 --> 01:21:42,598
Well, that's not on the menu,
I'm afraid.
1988
01:21:42,599 --> 01:21:46,526
It's death or enslavement.
A la carte, of course.
1989
01:21:46,527 --> 01:21:48,935
- Upsy-daisy.
- [grunting]
1990
01:21:53,742 --> 01:21:54,203
Finally,
1991
01:21:54,204 --> 01:21:56,679
it's nice to give someone else
a chance to talk.
1992
01:21:56,680 --> 01:21:58,829
Not my strong suit.
1993
01:21:58,830 --> 01:22:00,980
[groaning and grunting]
1994
01:22:02,619 --> 01:22:04,654
[straining]
1995
01:22:12,926 --> 01:22:14,389
[yells]
1996
01:22:15,522 --> 01:22:16,093
[exhales]
1997
01:22:16,094 --> 01:22:18,261
You shouldn't have done that.
1998
01:22:19,636 --> 01:22:21,269
[grunts]
1999
01:22:21,270 --> 01:22:22,903
[groaning]
2000
01:22:24,135 --> 01:22:26,038
[grunting]
2001
01:22:30,647 --> 01:22:32,242
[yells]
2002
01:22:32,616 --> 01:22:34,079
[growls]
2003
01:22:36,180 --> 01:22:37,444
[screams]
2004
01:22:37,445 --> 01:22:39,282
Adios, pendejo.
2005
01:22:39,920 --> 01:22:40,579
[yells]
2006
01:22:40,580 --> 01:22:43,450
You are an interesting one,
aren't you?
2007
01:22:43,451 --> 01:22:47,224
I do feel like you get lost
behind all of his...
2008
01:22:47,225 --> 01:22:49,731
[imitates yapping]
2009
01:22:49,732 --> 01:22:53,769
Deadpools are a dime a dozen
here in The Void.
2010
01:22:54,033 --> 01:22:55,770
But you...
2011
01:22:55,771 --> 01:22:59,434
What's going on in here?
2012
01:22:59,775 --> 01:23:01,843
[groaning]
2013
01:23:02,602 --> 01:23:04,879
[screaming]
2014
01:23:05,814 --> 01:23:08,080
- [screaming stops]
- [leaves rustling]
2015
01:23:08,081 --> 01:23:10,346
[distant female voice] Logan!
2016
01:23:12,084 --> 01:23:14,152
[Cassandra] Interesting...
2017
01:23:14,449 --> 01:23:17,188
Not what I expected back here.
2018
01:23:17,661 --> 01:23:19,663
Behind the anger.
2019
01:23:22,930 --> 01:23:24,029
You're hiding.
2020
01:23:24,030 --> 01:23:25,800
- From them.
- [sighs]
2021
01:23:25,801 --> 01:23:28,738
From all the ones
you let down.
2022
01:23:30,707 --> 01:23:32,434
So much pain.
2023
01:23:34,535 --> 01:23:36,503
I walked away.
2024
01:23:36,504 --> 01:23:38,539
They called after me and I...
2025
01:23:38,540 --> 01:23:40,244
I walked away.
2026
01:23:40,816 --> 01:23:41,607
I always do.
2027
01:23:41,608 --> 01:23:43,720
- [child] Logan!
- I know.
2028
01:23:45,117 --> 01:23:47,284
That's not all you did.
2029
01:23:47,614 --> 01:23:48,119
Is it?
2030
01:23:48,120 --> 01:23:50,760
- [groans]
- [flesh squelches]
2031
01:23:51,794 --> 01:23:53,829
You found them.
2032
01:23:54,126 --> 01:23:55,831
The X-Men.
2033
01:23:58,999 --> 01:24:00,737
[distant screaming]
2034
01:24:00,738 --> 01:24:01,231
Dead.
2035
01:24:01,232 --> 01:24:04,235
[♪ mournful music playing]
2036
01:24:04,236 --> 01:24:06,138
Piled like wood.
2037
01:24:06,842 --> 01:24:09,108
[Cassandra] What did you do?
2038
01:24:10,978 --> 01:24:12,473
I started killing.
2039
01:24:12,474 --> 01:24:16,181
And I couldn't stop.
I didn't wanna stop.
2040
01:24:16,511 --> 01:24:19,789
[Cassandra] All those bad men.
2041
01:24:19,790 --> 01:24:21,252
[groans]
2042
01:24:23,089 --> 01:24:25,762
It's not just the bad ones.
2043
01:24:26,653 --> 01:24:28,424
My little animal.
2044
01:24:29,898 --> 01:24:34,034
And I turned the whole world
against the X-Men.
2045
01:24:34,035 --> 01:24:35,662
Blade!
2046
01:24:40,601 --> 01:24:42,306
Just once...
2047
01:24:42,845 --> 01:24:46,915
I wanna be the man
that Charles thought I was.
2048
01:24:47,674 --> 01:24:49,148
Logan...
2049
01:24:49,610 --> 01:24:54,351
in The Void,
you can be what you are.
2050
01:24:55,990 --> 01:24:58,272
I just wanna be free.
2051
01:24:58,273 --> 01:25:00,555
I can set you free.
2052
01:25:00,556 --> 01:25:02,359
[panting]
2053
01:25:05,164 --> 01:25:06,935
[yelps]
2054
01:25:10,972 --> 01:25:16,780
I can silence
all those voices.
2055
01:25:16,781 --> 01:25:18,738
[silence falls]
2056
01:25:20,817 --> 01:25:22,379
[exhales]
2057
01:25:23,545 --> 01:25:25,118
I've got you.
2058
01:25:27,054 --> 01:25:28,825
I've got you.
2059
01:25:28,990 --> 01:25:30,387
No.
2060
01:25:31,157 --> 01:25:32,895
I got you.
2061
01:25:33,192 --> 01:25:34,907
[indistinct whining]
2062
01:25:34,908 --> 01:25:36,624
[grunting in pain]
2063
01:25:36,625 --> 01:25:38,230
[gasps]
2064
01:25:38,231 --> 01:25:39,835
[yelling]
2065
01:25:39,836 --> 01:25:42,002
[Cassandra grunts] Get it off!
2066
01:25:42,003 --> 01:25:43,570
[Deadpool]
You're gonna send us home,
2067
01:25:43,571 --> 01:25:45,138
or I'm gonna twist
your fucking head off.
2068
01:25:45,139 --> 01:25:47,602
- [laughs]
- Why are you laughing?
2069
01:25:47,603 --> 01:25:48,503
I can't send you home
2070
01:25:48,504 --> 01:25:51,815
unless you get this thing
off my head.
2071
01:25:51,816 --> 01:25:52,672
And as soon as you do that,
2072
01:25:52,673 --> 01:25:55,659
I'm going to boil your brains
on an atomic level
2073
01:25:55,660 --> 01:25:58,646
whilst flicking my bean
to the Enya box set.
2074
01:25:58,647 --> 01:26:00,186
[Deadpool]
There's an Enya box set?
2075
01:26:00,187 --> 01:26:01,918
Either you kill me
2076
01:26:01,919 --> 01:26:03,651
or I kill you.
2077
01:26:03,860 --> 01:26:05,553
Both wonderful options.
2078
01:26:05,554 --> 01:26:07,259
[Deadpool]
You want me to do it?
2079
01:26:07,260 --> 01:26:07,863
No, I'll do it.
2080
01:26:07,864 --> 01:26:09,095
[Deadpool] I have
her neck right here.
2081
01:26:09,096 --> 01:26:10,966
- It's really no problem.
- You'll screw it up.
2082
01:26:10,967 --> 01:26:12,869
[Deadpool]
Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13,
2083
01:26:12,870 --> 01:26:13,726
except the last one!
2084
01:26:13,727 --> 01:26:16,730
- [gunshots]
- What the fuck?
2085
01:26:16,840 --> 01:26:19,700
- [gasping]
- [chuckles] You have no idea
2086
01:26:19,701 --> 01:26:20,436
what it's like!
2087
01:26:20,437 --> 01:26:23,770
Day after day.
Shovel the shit.
2088
01:26:23,771 --> 01:26:25,177
Fetch the meats.
2089
01:26:25,178 --> 01:26:28,984
I have spent my entire exis...
2090
01:26:29,952 --> 01:26:31,414
Not everyone gets a speech.
2091
01:26:31,415 --> 01:26:33,922
- [groaning]
- She's gonna die.
2092
01:26:33,923 --> 01:26:35,859
[Deadpool] Okay. Hey, hey.
If I take this helmet off,
2093
01:26:35,860 --> 01:26:37,443
do you promise
you won't kill us?
2094
01:26:37,444 --> 01:26:39,027
- Fuck!
- [Cassandra] I promise...
2095
01:26:39,028 --> 01:26:40,456
I will kill you first thing.
2096
01:26:40,457 --> 01:26:42,866
[Deadpool] Oh!
Why are you like this?
2097
01:26:42,867 --> 01:26:43,756
I wish I knew.
2098
01:26:43,757 --> 01:26:44,944
- Take it off.
- [Deadpool] What?
2099
01:26:44,945 --> 01:26:46,132
- Take it off.
- [Deadpool] Why?
2100
01:26:46,133 --> 01:26:47,695
- Just take it off.
- This is our only chance
2101
01:26:47,696 --> 01:26:50,830
- to fix our shit!
- Take it off!
2102
01:26:51,908 --> 01:26:53,601
I am wearing this suit.
2103
01:26:53,602 --> 01:26:57,243
And that means a lot of things,
but most of all...
2104
01:26:57,947 --> 01:26:59,949
it means I'm an X-Man.
2105
01:27:00,180 --> 01:27:02,347
And I know your brother.
2106
01:27:03,513 --> 01:27:04,777
As much as I want
to fucking kill you,
2107
01:27:04,778 --> 01:27:08,435
every bone in my body
wants to fucking kill you,
2108
01:27:08,436 --> 01:27:12,093
he would not let me stand here
and watch you die!
2109
01:27:13,787 --> 01:27:15,822
Take your hands off.
2110
01:27:16,823 --> 01:27:18,759
This is for him.
2111
01:27:19,826 --> 01:27:21,905
This is for Charles.
2112
01:27:23,632 --> 01:27:25,832
[Cassandra panting]
2113
01:27:28,802 --> 01:27:30,539
[exhales deeply]
2114
01:27:30,540 --> 01:27:32,443
- [grunts]
- [Deadpool] Hey, no, no, no!
2115
01:27:32,444 --> 01:27:35,050
Don't you dare
do me like Johnny!
2116
01:27:40,649 --> 01:27:42,420
My brother loved you.
2117
01:27:43,652 --> 01:27:45,390
He loved all of us.
2118
01:27:45,687 --> 01:27:47,095
Hmm.
2119
01:27:47,887 --> 01:27:49,724
Must be nice.
2120
01:27:49,823 --> 01:27:52,067
He would've loved you, too.
2121
01:27:54,102 --> 01:27:56,104
If he knew about you...
2122
01:27:56,973 --> 01:27:58,039
if he knew where you were,
2123
01:27:58,040 --> 01:28:00,834
he would've torn a hole
in the fucking universe
2124
01:28:00,835 --> 01:28:02,704
to bring you home.
2125
01:28:05,839 --> 01:28:07,444
This is my home.
2126
01:28:07,445 --> 01:28:10,877
Well, then at least
let us save his.
2127
01:28:13,957 --> 01:28:16,421
You want to hear
something crazy?
2128
01:28:16,850 --> 01:28:21,294
An amateur magician rolled
through here a while back.
2129
01:28:21,558 --> 01:28:23,130
I killed him, of course.
2130
01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:26,761
Wore his skin around
for four days.
2131
01:28:27,036 --> 01:28:27,970
But
2132
01:28:27,971 --> 01:28:29,769
I found this
2133
01:28:29,770 --> 01:28:31,567
little trinket
2134
01:28:31,568 --> 01:28:33,701
on his lovely fingers.
2135
01:28:33,702 --> 01:28:35,836
[Deadpool] Strange!
2136
01:28:36,837 --> 01:28:37,474
[Deadpool gasps]
2137
01:28:37,475 --> 01:28:41,017
- Marvel sparkle circle.
- [Wolverine] What is that?
2138
01:28:41,018 --> 01:28:42,776
This is your way home.
2139
01:28:42,777 --> 01:28:44,646
I do owe you
for saving my life.
2140
01:28:44,647 --> 01:28:46,632
But let's keep
things interesting.
2141
01:28:46,633 --> 01:28:48,618
I'd say you have
about four seconds
2142
01:28:48,619 --> 01:28:50,917
before you're Alioth's food.
2143
01:28:51,093 --> 01:28:53,293
[Alioth growling]
2144
01:28:54,162 --> 01:28:56,263
[Deadpool chuckles] Race ya.
2145
01:28:58,463 --> 01:29:00,630
[♪ slow jazz plays, Jimmy
Durante "I'll Be Seeing You"]
2146
01:29:00,631 --> 01:29:04,237
♪ I'll be seeing you ♪
2147
01:29:04,238 --> 01:29:09,792
♪ In all the old
familiar places ♪
2148
01:29:09,793 --> 01:29:15,348
♪ That this heart
of mine embraces ♪
2149
01:29:15,349 --> 01:29:18,186
♪ All day through ♪
2150
01:29:20,650 --> 01:29:25,259
♪ In that small cafe ♪
2151
01:29:25,424 --> 01:29:30,066
- ♪ The park across the way ♪
- [screaming]
2152
01:29:30,891 --> 01:29:35,301
♪ The children's carousel ♪
2153
01:29:35,302 --> 01:29:41,671
♪ The chestnut trees,
the wishing well ♪
2154
01:29:42,573 --> 01:29:46,180
♪ I'll be seeing you ♪
2155
01:29:46,181 --> 01:29:50,581
♪ In every lovely
summer's day ♪
2156
01:29:50,582 --> 01:29:51,152
[screams]
2157
01:29:51,153 --> 01:29:55,982
♪ I'll find you
in the morning sun ♪
2158
01:29:55,983 --> 01:30:01,295
♪ And when the night is new ♪
2159
01:30:02,758 --> 01:30:09,336
♪ I'll be looking
at the moon ♪
2160
01:30:09,798 --> 01:30:15,870
♪ But I'll be seeing you ♪
2161
01:30:15,871 --> 01:30:17,872
[Alioth snarls]
2162
01:30:18,345 --> 01:30:21,040
[Peter] And as I said,
we've got a standard three-year
2163
01:30:21,041 --> 01:30:22,447
bumper to bumper warranty.
2164
01:30:22,448 --> 01:30:24,009
Glad you gave us
a second chance.
2165
01:30:24,010 --> 01:30:26,165
And don't worry.
Wade and I are a team,
2166
01:30:26,166 --> 01:30:28,322
so I'll see he gets
half the commission...
2167
01:30:28,454 --> 01:30:29,157
[all gasp]
2168
01:30:29,158 --> 01:30:30,158
- [Deadpool groans]
- Whoa.
2169
01:30:30,159 --> 01:30:32,160
[Deadpool]
That feels like a Kia.
2170
01:30:32,161 --> 01:30:36,099
It's a fucking Kia Carnival,
isn't it? [groans]
2171
01:30:36,462 --> 01:30:39,564
Holy shit. That's Deadpool.
2172
01:30:39,565 --> 01:30:40,399
And that's Wolverine.
2173
01:30:40,400 --> 01:30:42,061
[Deadpool]
You're damn straight it is.
2174
01:30:42,062 --> 01:30:42,995
Fox killed him.
2175
01:30:42,996 --> 01:30:43,732
Disney brought him back.
2176
01:30:43,733 --> 01:30:46,406
They're going to make him
do this till he's 90.
2177
01:30:46,538 --> 01:30:47,835
Let's go.
2178
01:30:47,836 --> 01:30:49,541
[Peter] I'll clock you out!
2179
01:30:49,542 --> 01:30:51,378
[Deadpool] Forever!
2180
01:30:51,741 --> 01:30:53,248
Forever.
2181
01:30:59,914 --> 01:31:00,617
Wakey-wakey.
2182
01:31:00,618 --> 01:31:03,291
- [snorts] God?
- [chuckles]
2183
01:31:03,390 --> 01:31:07,086
Now, you put all these bullets
in my belly,
2184
01:31:07,087 --> 01:31:09,726
and I'm gonna find out why.
2185
01:31:09,727 --> 01:31:11,332
Whoa, whoa!
2186
01:31:11,431 --> 01:31:12,794
I'll just say it.
2187
01:31:12,795 --> 01:31:15,028
You don't have to stick
your fingers in me.
2188
01:31:15,029 --> 01:31:18,174
Jesus, just ask sometimes.
2189
01:31:18,175 --> 01:31:19,835
Fine.
2190
01:31:20,605 --> 01:31:21,902
Really?
2191
01:31:21,903 --> 01:31:23,321
Hands in pockets.
2192
01:31:23,322 --> 01:31:24,850
[breathing heavily]
2193
01:31:24,851 --> 01:31:26,379
Guy named Paradox.
2194
01:31:26,380 --> 01:31:28,447
He said he'd get me
out of The Void.
2195
01:31:28,448 --> 01:31:30,516
All I know is
he works for the TVA.
2196
01:31:30,517 --> 01:31:31,186
The TVA.
2197
01:31:31,187 --> 01:31:32,484
We had an agreement.
2198
01:31:32,485 --> 01:31:34,685
I don't think this guy cares.
2199
01:31:34,686 --> 01:31:36,186
Huh. He will.
2200
01:31:36,187 --> 01:31:37,687
Hey, people!
2201
01:31:37,688 --> 01:31:40,086
How much longer before
the Time Ripper is active?
2202
01:31:40,087 --> 01:31:41,559
We're running
the final safety checks.
2203
01:31:41,560 --> 01:31:44,662
Oh, okay. All right.
Thanks for all your hard work, Ralph.
2204
01:31:44,663 --> 01:31:46,202
- Take your time.
- Really?
2205
01:31:46,203 --> 01:31:47,467
No, you drooling boob!
2206
01:31:47,468 --> 01:31:48,731
No! We have company.
2207
01:31:48,732 --> 01:31:52,670
Cancel the safety checks.
We need to be live now!
2208
01:31:52,671 --> 01:31:54,969
Oh, I hate you so much.
2209
01:31:56,542 --> 01:31:57,135
No! Stop!
2210
01:31:57,136 --> 01:31:58,609
Piss off! You're too late.
2211
01:31:58,610 --> 01:32:00,909
- You're fuckin' done.
- Why was Thor crying?
2212
01:32:00,910 --> 01:32:01,810
[Mr. Paradox] How dare you!
2213
01:32:01,811 --> 01:32:04,517
No one comes back
from The Void.
2214
01:32:04,518 --> 01:32:06,882
Tell that to Cassandra Nova.
2215
01:32:07,014 --> 01:32:10,083
[♪ choral music playing]
2216
01:32:14,758 --> 01:32:17,695
Paradox. We have a problem.
2217
01:32:17,926 --> 01:32:19,664
[bones snap]
2218
01:32:19,796 --> 01:32:21,831
[Cassandra] Paradox.
2219
01:32:22,634 --> 01:32:25,901
Well, you are doughier than
you looked in Pyro's head.
2220
01:32:25,902 --> 01:32:27,353
You tried to kill me.
2221
01:32:27,354 --> 01:32:28,804
I literally have no i...
2222
01:32:28,805 --> 01:32:30,873
[Cassandra]
You come for the king,
2223
01:32:30,874 --> 01:32:32,941
you better kill the king.
2224
01:32:32,942 --> 01:32:33,677
[Deadpool] Oh-ho-ho!
2225
01:32:33,678 --> 01:32:36,163
Welcome to
the skull fuck club, Paradox.
2226
01:32:36,164 --> 01:32:38,650
You know she doesn't
wash that hand.
2227
01:32:38,651 --> 01:32:40,487
- Oh.
- [grunting strainfully]
2228
01:32:40,488 --> 01:32:42,115
What's this?
2229
01:32:42,819 --> 01:32:43,770
A Time Ripper?
2230
01:32:43,771 --> 01:32:44,721
Naughty boy.
2231
01:32:44,722 --> 01:32:45,755
[Deadpool] Oh, no.
We're on it.
2232
01:32:45,756 --> 01:32:47,922
We're gonna head down
and dismantle that thing now.
2233
01:32:47,923 --> 01:32:50,090
We got ya, boo.
You just keep playing those keys.
2234
01:32:50,091 --> 01:32:52,598
I don't want to destroy it.
2235
01:32:52,599 --> 01:32:53,598
I want to use it.
2236
01:32:53,599 --> 01:32:57,196
Now, shoo. Mummy and Daddy
are having a conversation.
2237
01:32:57,197 --> 01:32:59,308
[both yelling]
2238
01:33:02,740 --> 01:33:03,476
[groans]
2239
01:33:03,477 --> 01:33:05,611
You know, the funny thing is,
2240
01:33:05,612 --> 01:33:07,106
I was happy in The Void.
2241
01:33:07,107 --> 01:33:11,045
You sent your trash to me.
Alioth and I cleaned it up.
2242
01:33:11,046 --> 01:33:12,914
Everyone was happy.
2243
01:33:12,915 --> 01:33:16,787
And then you had to
go and piss on my side of the fence.
2244
01:33:16,788 --> 01:33:19,690
And so now the fence
must come down.
2245
01:33:19,691 --> 01:33:22,044
I'm going to use
your little Time Ripper.
2246
01:33:22,045 --> 01:33:24,602
And I'm going to destroy
this universe
2247
01:33:24,603 --> 01:33:27,899
and the next and the next
and the next
2248
01:33:27,900 --> 01:33:31,197
until all that's left
is The Void.
2249
01:33:31,198 --> 01:33:33,506
And I get to play God.
2250
01:33:33,507 --> 01:33:35,069
- Come on.
- [Mr. Paradox groans]
2251
01:33:35,070 --> 01:33:35,970
Now you're going to show me
2252
01:33:35,971 --> 01:33:37,873
how to use
this fancy gadget of yours.
2253
01:33:37,874 --> 01:33:39,777
And don't worry,
I've called some friends
2254
01:33:39,778 --> 01:33:42,384
to make sure
we're not disturbed.
2255
01:33:44,518 --> 01:33:45,717
- [knock at door]
- Sorry to bother, madam,
2256
01:33:45,718 --> 01:33:47,487
but there's something
you need to see.
2257
01:33:47,488 --> 01:33:50,590
We're getting indications
of an unsanctioned Time Ripper
2258
01:33:50,591 --> 01:33:53,692
activating on Earth-10005.
2259
01:33:54,660 --> 01:33:56,695
Whose district is that?
2260
01:33:56,893 --> 01:33:58,301
Paradox.
2261
01:34:05,803 --> 01:34:08,640
[Mr. Paradox gasps, exhales]
2262
01:34:08,641 --> 01:34:11,039
Well, thank you so much
for your help, darling.
2263
01:34:11,040 --> 01:34:13,679
God. Good to get out
of that head.
2264
01:34:13,680 --> 01:34:16,352
Whew! What a mess!
2265
01:34:16,946 --> 01:34:19,047
[both groaning]
2266
01:34:23,249 --> 01:34:23,853
[Deadpool] Stop!
2267
01:34:23,854 --> 01:34:25,988
Let's give it a beat
for the extras to clear.
2268
01:34:25,989 --> 01:34:29,222
Go, go, go, go, go!
Oh, my God!
2269
01:34:33,127 --> 01:34:36,635
- Oh. My. God.
- Fuck.
2270
01:34:36,636 --> 01:34:40,904
[♪ classic rock music plays,
"Make Me Lose Control"]
2271
01:34:43,742 --> 01:34:45,974
[Deadpool] It's her!
2272
01:34:45,975 --> 01:34:48,978
- Come on, girl!
- [Dogpool barks]
2273
01:34:49,682 --> 01:34:50,143
[barks]
2274
01:34:50,144 --> 01:34:51,815
♪ Was love always this good ♪
2275
01:34:51,816 --> 01:34:54,951
♪ Or could this be
just the start? ♪
2276
01:34:54,952 --> 01:34:56,634
Come on, girl!
2277
01:34:56,635 --> 01:34:58,316
♪ Baby, baby ♪
2278
01:34:58,317 --> 01:35:03,465
♪ Turn the radio up
for that sweet sound ♪
2279
01:35:03,466 --> 01:35:07,832
♪ Hold me close,
never let me go ♪
2280
01:35:07,833 --> 01:35:10,736
♪ Keep this feelin' alive... ♪
2281
01:35:10,737 --> 01:35:11,736
That's my girl!
2282
01:35:11,737 --> 01:35:13,034
We don't have to be apart
2283
01:35:13,035 --> 01:35:15,169
ever, ever again.
Never, ever...
2284
01:35:15,170 --> 01:35:16,775
- Sorry!
- [Deadpool] Fuck!
2285
01:35:16,776 --> 01:35:17,478
[♪ song stops]
2286
01:35:17,479 --> 01:35:19,106
What's Cafe Gratitude
doing here?
2287
01:35:19,107 --> 01:35:21,092
- Sorry about that.
- [Dogpool whimpering]
2288
01:35:21,093 --> 01:35:23,078
[Deadpool] Tremble not,
sweet Mary Puppins.
2289
01:35:23,079 --> 01:35:24,431
[whispers] I'll handle him.
2290
01:35:24,432 --> 01:35:25,783
Come here, girl.
Papa's here.
2291
01:35:25,784 --> 01:35:29,084
[Deadpool] Hey, do not insult
this animal's autonomy.
2292
01:35:29,085 --> 01:35:30,805
She can decide
who her papa is.
2293
01:35:30,806 --> 01:35:32,526
What's it gonna be, girl, huh?
2294
01:35:32,527 --> 01:35:34,660
Original recipe
or Van Milder here?
2295
01:35:34,661 --> 01:35:39,501
Ah, that's funny. I can gently
tap the fourth wall too.
2296
01:35:39,502 --> 01:35:41,261
The Proposal.
2297
01:35:41,899 --> 01:35:42,866
[Deadpool] The fuck was that?
2298
01:35:42,867 --> 01:35:44,902
Bitch, you think
that's what I do?
2299
01:35:44,903 --> 01:35:45,869
Both of you shut up.
2300
01:35:45,870 --> 01:35:48,202
- [sniffs]
- You smell somethin'?
2301
01:35:48,203 --> 01:35:48,905
Yeah, you.
2302
01:35:48,906 --> 01:35:51,072
- [sniffs]
- A lot of you.
2303
01:35:51,073 --> 01:35:54,813
[♪ dramatic mysterious
music playing]
2304
01:36:05,593 --> 01:36:06,087
[tink]
2305
01:36:06,088 --> 01:36:08,728
Told you there were
a lot of Deadpools over there.
2306
01:36:08,729 --> 01:36:11,863
[♪ dramatic music continues]
2307
01:36:20,575 --> 01:36:22,401
[Deadpool] That's bad.
2308
01:36:39,990 --> 01:36:41,893
[neck cracks]
2309
01:36:42,861 --> 01:36:43,795
[♪ music fades out]
2310
01:36:43,796 --> 01:36:45,567
I take it
they're not friendly.
2311
01:36:45,568 --> 01:36:46,292
[Nicepool] Goodness, no.
2312
01:36:46,293 --> 01:36:47,964
Sorry about this, boys.
Mission over.
2313
01:36:47,965 --> 01:36:51,771
Cause of death, one hundred
kill-thirsty Deadpools.
2314
01:36:51,772 --> 01:36:52,397
They're dumb.
2315
01:36:52,398 --> 01:36:53,640
But they can fight.
Not me, though.
2316
01:36:53,641 --> 01:36:56,776
Would love to get in the mix,
but I have low bone density
2317
01:36:56,777 --> 01:36:58,327
and I have to keep
my face safe.
2318
01:36:58,328 --> 01:36:59,877
[Deadpool smooches]
Hold, please.
2319
01:36:59,878 --> 01:37:02,848
- Oh, God.
- [Deadpool] All right. Look.
2320
01:37:02,849 --> 01:37:04,344
Guys!
2321
01:37:04,850 --> 01:37:06,114
Deadpool Prime here.
2322
01:37:06,115 --> 01:37:08,084
- Our fight isn't with you...
- [kid] Hey!
2323
01:37:08,085 --> 01:37:09,117
When I want your opinion,
2324
01:37:09,118 --> 01:37:11,692
I'll take Wolverine's dick
out of your mouth.
2325
01:37:11,693 --> 01:37:13,127
That's Kidpool.
She's the dirtiest.
2326
01:37:13,128 --> 01:37:14,562
[Deadpool]
Can we just be done?
2327
01:37:14,563 --> 01:37:16,763
[Ladypool] Ooh,
we're just getting started.
2328
01:37:16,764 --> 01:37:18,946
[Deadpool] No, no, no, no, no.
2329
01:37:18,947 --> 01:37:21,130
With the whole
multiverse thing.
2330
01:37:21,537 --> 01:37:23,087
It's not great.
2331
01:37:23,088 --> 01:37:24,639
It's just been miss
2332
01:37:24,640 --> 01:37:26,052
after miss
2333
01:37:26,053 --> 01:37:27,465
after miss.
2334
01:37:27,466 --> 01:37:29,941
Look, The Wizard of Oz
did the multiverse first,
2335
01:37:29,942 --> 01:37:33,241
and they did it best.
The gays knew it.
2336
01:37:33,242 --> 01:37:34,142
But we didn't listen.
2337
01:37:34,143 --> 01:37:36,881
Let's just take the L
and move on.
2338
01:37:36,882 --> 01:37:39,687
I think it's been
steadily great since Endgame.
2339
01:37:39,688 --> 01:37:41,722
[Ladypool]
What are you talking about?
2340
01:37:41,723 --> 01:37:42,953
The multiverse is over.
2341
01:37:42,954 --> 01:37:44,450
[Cowboypool]
Cassandy gonna destroy
2342
01:37:44,451 --> 01:37:46,055
the fuck outta every timeline.
2343
01:37:46,056 --> 01:37:47,695
Heh. Y'all can't do shit
about it.
2344
01:37:47,696 --> 01:37:48,596
[Deadpool] Do you not get it?
2345
01:37:48,597 --> 01:37:49,961
If we don't go down
to the subway
2346
01:37:49,962 --> 01:37:50,829
and stop her, we all die.
2347
01:37:50,830 --> 01:37:52,128
[Cowboypool]
Say, the boss lady
2348
01:37:52,129 --> 01:37:53,128
don't want no disturbances.
2349
01:37:53,129 --> 01:37:55,263
You wanna get down
to the subway,
2350
01:37:55,264 --> 01:37:56,704
you gotta go through us.
2351
01:37:56,705 --> 01:37:57,737
Uzi time, baby.
2352
01:37:57,738 --> 01:37:59,305
[Ladypool] Uzi time, baby.
2353
01:37:59,306 --> 01:38:00,873
[Deadpool] Look alive!
2354
01:38:00,972 --> 01:38:02,776
[Headpool yells]
2355
01:38:08,782 --> 01:38:09,243
[grunts]
2356
01:38:09,244 --> 01:38:11,213
- I think I'm hit.
- [Wolverine] No shit.
2357
01:38:11,214 --> 01:38:11,982
You did that on purpose.
2358
01:38:11,983 --> 01:38:14,051
[Deadpool]
I did no such thing!
2359
01:38:14,052 --> 01:38:14,787
Listen to me, gorgeous.
2360
01:38:14,788 --> 01:38:16,856
How long does it take
for you to regenerate?
2361
01:38:16,857 --> 01:38:18,792
Regenerate?
2362
01:38:19,727 --> 01:38:22,829
- [crow caws]
- [Dogpool grunts]
2363
01:38:22,830 --> 01:38:23,488
[retches]
2364
01:38:23,489 --> 01:38:25,667
You really are
God's perfect idiot, aren't you?
2365
01:38:25,668 --> 01:38:27,295
- I'm okay.
- [Deadpool] How dare you!
2366
01:38:27,296 --> 01:38:28,966
You insensitive
son of a bitch!
2367
01:38:28,967 --> 01:38:31,673
How was I supposed to know
he doesn't regenerate?
2368
01:38:31,674 --> 01:38:32,673
I'm not a medicine woman.
2369
01:38:32,674 --> 01:38:35,468
Look. A donut cart.
They're practically hospitals.
2370
01:38:35,469 --> 01:38:36,402
- What?
- [Deadpool] They sell
2371
01:38:36,403 --> 01:38:37,656
- portable triage units.
- They don't.
2372
01:38:37,657 --> 01:38:39,735
[Deadpool] I'm gonna
get you to safety.
2373
01:38:39,736 --> 01:38:41,815
- He's not.
- [Deadpool] Deep breath.
2374
01:38:48,514 --> 01:38:49,118
[panting]
2375
01:38:49,119 --> 01:38:50,922
Hey, why are we stopping?
2376
01:38:50,923 --> 01:38:52,088
[Deadpool]
I'm just catching my breath.
2377
01:38:52,089 --> 01:38:55,488
What, are your legs on
vacation? You're dead weight!
2378
01:38:55,489 --> 01:38:56,554
That's because I'm paralyzed.
2379
01:38:56,555 --> 01:38:59,635
[Deadpool] We all have problems.
Listen to me.
2380
01:38:59,636 --> 01:39:01,263
You're gonna live.
2381
01:39:01,670 --> 01:39:03,418
Look at me, Nicepool.
2382
01:39:03,419 --> 01:39:05,168
[gunfire continues]
2383
01:39:06,906 --> 01:39:08,875
You're gonna live.
2384
01:39:09,040 --> 01:39:10,744
Say it!
2385
01:39:10,745 --> 01:39:11,877
I'm gonna live.
2386
01:39:11,878 --> 01:39:14,177
Say it with me.
You're gonna live.
2387
01:39:14,178 --> 01:39:16,079
[fumbling] I'm gonna live!
2388
01:39:16,080 --> 01:39:20,150
[Deadpool] Ha-hah!
Say it louder!
2389
01:39:20,151 --> 01:39:22,020
I'm gonna live...
2390
01:39:24,627 --> 01:39:26,255
[gunfire]
2391
01:39:30,226 --> 01:39:32,294
Hold your fire!
2392
01:39:33,559 --> 01:39:35,671
Sweet little puppy.
2393
01:39:44,680 --> 01:39:46,681
[Deadpool grunting]
God damn it!
2394
01:39:46,682 --> 01:39:48,684
I don't think
he's gonna make it.
2395
01:39:48,685 --> 01:39:50,179
God, he loved his face.
2396
01:39:50,180 --> 01:39:53,018
I can taste his final thought.
2397
01:39:53,019 --> 01:39:54,250
He was so afraid.
2398
01:39:54,251 --> 01:39:55,481
But he died a hero.
2399
01:39:55,482 --> 01:39:57,384
He died from murder,
you dumb fuck.
2400
01:39:57,385 --> 01:40:00,421
[Deadpool] And all I have
to remember him by
2401
01:40:00,586 --> 01:40:02,125
are these two gold-plated,
2402
01:40:02,126 --> 01:40:04,898
...50 caliber
Desert Eagle pistoleros.
2403
01:40:04,899 --> 01:40:06,427
This is for him.
2404
01:40:06,559 --> 01:40:07,900
Are you ready?
2405
01:40:07,901 --> 01:40:09,969
I get to kill a hundred yous?
2406
01:40:09,970 --> 01:40:11,805
Fuck yeah, I'm ready.
2407
01:40:11,806 --> 01:40:13,632
Hey, you don't want
to see this, bub.
2408
01:40:13,633 --> 01:40:14,533
[Deadpool] That's a good girl.
2409
01:40:14,534 --> 01:40:18,681
[♪ '80s pop music plays,
Madonna "Like a Prayer"]
2410
01:40:19,044 --> 01:40:23,377
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
2411
01:40:23,378 --> 01:40:28,014
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
2412
01:40:28,015 --> 01:40:32,651
♪ I hear you call my name ♪
2413
01:40:32,652 --> 01:40:37,392
♪ And it feels like ♪
2414
01:40:37,393 --> 01:40:40,197
♪ Home... ♪
2415
01:40:51,780 --> 01:40:52,978
[Deadpool] Holy shit.
2416
01:40:52,979 --> 01:40:55,916
You save the good stuff
for special occasions?
2417
01:40:55,917 --> 01:40:56,718
Killing, mostly.
2418
01:40:56,719 --> 01:40:58,182
[Deadpool]
What's the wind resistance
2419
01:40:58,183 --> 01:40:59,116
on those blowjob handles?
2420
01:40:59,117 --> 01:41:01,019
- [grunts]
- [laughs] I'm sorry.
2421
01:41:01,020 --> 01:41:04,056
I'm just a catty bitch
when I'm jealous.
2422
01:41:04,057 --> 01:41:05,992
All right, let's do this.
2423
01:41:05,993 --> 01:41:07,895
Maximum effort.
2424
01:41:09,864 --> 01:41:11,734
[♪ song pauses]
2425
01:41:14,627 --> 01:41:16,772
[Deadpools yelling]
2426
01:41:16,871 --> 01:41:18,135
- [♪ song resumes playing]
- [all grunting]
2427
01:41:18,136 --> 01:41:21,974
♪ When you call my name
It's like a little prayer ♪
2428
01:41:21,975 --> 01:41:25,962
♪ I'm down on my knees
I want to take you there ♪
2429
01:41:25,963 --> 01:41:29,949
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪
2430
01:41:29,950 --> 01:41:34,955
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪
2431
01:41:34,956 --> 01:41:38,826
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
2432
01:41:38,827 --> 01:41:42,863
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
2433
01:41:42,864 --> 01:41:46,901
♪ I hear you call my name ♪
2434
01:41:46,902 --> 01:41:47,769
You're dead.
2435
01:41:47,770 --> 01:41:52,698
♪ And it feels like ♪
2436
01:41:53,776 --> 01:41:54,941
[Deadpools yelling]
2437
01:41:54,942 --> 01:41:56,734
♪ Let the choir sing ♪
2438
01:41:56,735 --> 01:42:00,975
♪ When you call my name
It's like a little prayer ♪
2439
01:42:00,976 --> 01:42:05,147
♪ I'm down on my knees
I wanna take you there ♪
2440
01:42:05,148 --> 01:42:09,318
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪
2441
01:42:09,319 --> 01:42:13,829
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪
2442
01:42:13,830 --> 01:42:15,797
Motherfucker.
2443
01:42:15,798 --> 01:42:17,029
I wish I were deaf.
2444
01:42:17,030 --> 01:42:18,344
♪ I'll take you there ♪
2445
01:42:18,345 --> 01:42:19,658
♪ It's like a dream to me ♪
2446
01:42:19,659 --> 01:42:21,759
♪ Oh oh, yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
2447
01:42:21,760 --> 01:42:24,873
♪ Just like a prayer,
I'll take you there ♪
2448
01:42:24,874 --> 01:42:26,368
♪ Oh yeah, yeah ♪
2449
01:42:26,369 --> 01:42:28,976
♪ It's like a dream to me ♪
2450
01:42:28,977 --> 01:42:31,846
♪ Oh, oh ♪
2451
01:42:31,847 --> 01:42:36,313
♪ It's like a prayer... ♪
2452
01:42:36,544 --> 01:42:39,481
[crying Deadpool] I don't
wanna die. I don't wanna die.
2453
01:42:39,482 --> 01:42:41,120
I don't wanna...
2454
01:42:47,929 --> 01:42:50,932
[♪ outro music playing]
2455
01:42:52,065 --> 01:42:54,001
- [♪ song ends]
- [Deadpool grunts]
2456
01:42:54,002 --> 01:42:55,530
[Deadpool] Come on.
2457
01:42:55,531 --> 01:42:56,167
Oh, I blew it.
2458
01:42:56,168 --> 01:42:58,566
After all that, the only thing
they're gonna remember
2459
01:42:58,567 --> 01:43:01,206
is that God-awful dismount!
2460
01:43:01,635 --> 01:43:03,670
[giggling]
2461
01:43:04,737 --> 01:43:06,981
What you laughing at,
you little fucker?
2462
01:43:06,982 --> 01:43:08,246
[Babypool] Uh-oh.
2463
01:43:08,247 --> 01:43:09,929
[Deadpool] Uh-oh.
2464
01:43:09,930 --> 01:43:11,722
[Babypool cooing]
2465
01:43:11,723 --> 01:43:13,514
[Babypool giggling]
2466
01:43:13,515 --> 01:43:16,023
I guess these ones regenerate.
2467
01:43:16,925 --> 01:43:19,928
Come on.
We don't have time for this.
2468
01:43:19,929 --> 01:43:21,094
[Peter] Deadpools!
2469
01:43:21,095 --> 01:43:22,997
Stand down.
2470
01:43:23,129 --> 01:43:26,198
[♪ heroic music playing]
2471
01:43:32,732 --> 01:43:34,206
This Deadpool's with me.
2472
01:43:34,207 --> 01:43:35,471
[Deadpool] Oh, no.
2473
01:43:35,472 --> 01:43:36,735
[Ladypool] Holy shit.
2474
01:43:36,736 --> 01:43:38,672
[Kidpool]
That's fuckin' Peter!
2475
01:43:38,673 --> 01:43:40,916
[Deadpools cheering]
2476
01:43:41,081 --> 01:43:42,675
[Deadpool] Wait, you...
You guys know Peter?
2477
01:43:42,676 --> 01:43:45,085
[Ladypool] You kidding me?
Every Deadpool has a Peter.
2478
01:43:45,086 --> 01:43:47,846
[Cowboypool] Shit.
Peter's a goddamn legend
2479
01:43:47,847 --> 01:43:49,584
in every Deadpool's world.
2480
01:43:49,585 --> 01:43:51,893
Peter-san. Hai.
2481
01:43:51,894 --> 01:43:54,193
[Deadpools cheering]
2482
01:43:58,032 --> 01:43:58,658
[Peter laughs]
2483
01:43:58,659 --> 01:44:01,298
[Deadpools chanting]
Peter. Peter. Peter.
2484
01:44:01,299 --> 01:44:04,153
Peter. Peter. Peter.
Peter. Peter. Peter.
2485
01:44:04,154 --> 01:44:07,008
- Peter. Peter. Peter.
- [Peter laughing]
2486
01:44:07,009 --> 01:44:09,339
[Deadpool] Enjoy my Peter.
2487
01:44:09,340 --> 01:44:13,949
- [♪ tense music playing]
- [Time Ripper thrumming]
2488
01:44:28,722 --> 01:44:30,999
[Time Ripper whirring]
2489
01:44:36,136 --> 01:44:36,861
Oh, now you're here.
2490
01:44:36,862 --> 01:44:38,798
Oh, well, you're too late.
It's all over.
2491
01:44:38,799 --> 01:44:39,501
Not yet, it's not.
2492
01:44:39,502 --> 01:44:41,570
[Deadpool] Whoa. No, no, no.
We're very close.
2493
01:44:41,571 --> 01:44:42,972
Homestretch, folks. Promise.
2494
01:44:42,973 --> 01:44:44,374
Quick, let's up the stakes.
2495
01:44:44,375 --> 01:44:45,573
If she steals
the Time Ripper's energy,
2496
01:44:45,574 --> 01:44:48,412
she has the power to shred
the fabric of all realities
2497
01:44:48,413 --> 01:44:50,678
until there is nothing left
but The Void.
2498
01:44:50,679 --> 01:44:52,053
How do we shut it down?
2499
01:44:52,054 --> 01:44:53,152
I don't know.
2500
01:44:53,153 --> 01:44:54,681
[Mr. Paradox grunts]
2501
01:44:54,682 --> 01:44:55,517
[Wolverine] How about now?
2502
01:44:55,518 --> 01:44:57,569
[Deadpool] The mask
is really intimidating, huh?
2503
01:44:57,570 --> 01:44:59,621
It's like Batman,
except he can move his neck.
2504
01:44:59,622 --> 01:45:01,754
Okay, look, look, look.
2505
01:45:01,755 --> 01:45:04,807
The Ripper is fed from
a secure chamber below ground.
2506
01:45:04,808 --> 01:45:07,860
It is powered by twin matter
and anti-matter feeds
2507
01:45:07,861 --> 01:45:09,499
converging inside the device.
2508
01:45:09,500 --> 01:45:10,301
Now, Cassandra Nova
2509
01:45:10,302 --> 01:45:11,500
is redirecting
the Ripper's power
2510
01:45:11,501 --> 01:45:13,800
to eliminate all timelines,
starting with this one.
2511
01:45:13,801 --> 01:45:14,866
Theoretically,
you could stop her
2512
01:45:14,867 --> 01:45:16,769
by short-circuiting the feeds
in the chamber below.
2513
01:45:16,770 --> 01:45:19,608
One of you were to create a
circuit between the two feeds,
2514
01:45:19,609 --> 01:45:22,226
then the released power
would destroy the machine.
2515
01:45:22,227 --> 01:45:24,844
- But, well... But...
- [Deadpool] Come on, man.
2516
01:45:24,845 --> 01:45:26,845
If you're not gonna swallow,
spit it out.
2517
01:45:26,846 --> 01:45:30,817
Whoever formed the bridge
would be annihilated.
2518
01:45:30,818 --> 01:45:31,553
I could live with that.
2519
01:45:31,554 --> 01:45:32,989
[Deadpool] Yeah, I could live
with that, too, actually.
2520
01:45:32,990 --> 01:45:34,389
You know, we survive anything.
We're like cockroaches.
2521
01:45:34,390 --> 01:45:35,789
- [Deadpool chuckles]
- [Mr. Paradox] Not this time.
2522
01:45:35,790 --> 01:45:37,999
This is matter
and anti-matter.
2523
01:45:38,000 --> 01:45:39,825
They do not play nicely
with each other.
2524
01:45:39,826 --> 01:45:42,630
When they mix in your body,
you will be atomized.
2525
01:45:42,631 --> 01:45:45,435
Trust the laws of physics
if you don't trust me.
2526
01:45:45,436 --> 01:45:48,241
Even if you lived long enough
to make the circuit,
2527
01:45:48,242 --> 01:45:51,739
you will die down there.
2528
01:45:56,711 --> 01:45:58,383
[crackling]
2529
01:46:04,884 --> 01:46:07,887
[♪ dramatic choral
music playing]
2530
01:46:07,888 --> 01:46:09,790
[moaning]
2531
01:46:16,038 --> 01:46:17,434
[Wolverine] Hold off. Hold.
2532
01:46:17,435 --> 01:46:18,666
You heard
that asshole upstairs.
2533
01:46:18,667 --> 01:46:23,639
Even if we pull this off,
we're dead. Permanently.
2534
01:46:23,640 --> 01:46:26,939
- That's why it's got to be me.
- What?
2535
01:46:29,942 --> 01:46:31,811
Look, man... [panting]
2536
01:46:31,812 --> 01:46:34,551
you didn't ask
for any of this.
2537
01:46:34,552 --> 01:46:36,058
You were right.
2538
01:46:36,059 --> 01:46:37,586
I lied.
2539
01:46:37,587 --> 01:46:38,917
I lied right to your face
2540
01:46:38,918 --> 01:46:42,163
just to get you to help me.
And you did.
2541
01:46:42,559 --> 01:46:44,660
You didn't lie.
2542
01:46:45,694 --> 01:46:47,960
You made an educated wish.
2543
01:46:50,633 --> 01:46:52,029
Come on.
2544
01:46:52,030 --> 01:46:55,033
You got a whole world
to go back to.
2545
01:46:55,968 --> 01:46:57,739
I got nothin'.
2546
01:46:59,114 --> 01:47:00,874
I got nothin'.
2547
01:47:05,153 --> 01:47:06,913
Give me this.
2548
01:47:13,557 --> 01:47:15,130
Hey.
2549
01:47:18,430 --> 01:47:21,400
I waited a long time
for this team-up.
2550
01:47:22,962 --> 01:47:24,898
You know something?
2551
01:47:25,833 --> 01:47:28,522
You were the best Wolverine.
2552
01:47:28,523 --> 01:47:31,212
[♪ sentimental music playing]
2553
01:47:36,074 --> 01:47:38,945
Say hi to your friends for me.
2554
01:47:46,986 --> 01:47:48,889
[Wolverine grunts]
2555
01:47:50,726 --> 01:47:51,627
No!
2556
01:47:51,628 --> 01:47:52,265
Open the door!
2557
01:47:52,266 --> 01:47:54,961
[Deadpool] I can't hear you
over all the noble sacrifice.
2558
01:47:54,962 --> 01:47:56,533
Why are you
fucking doing this?
2559
01:47:56,534 --> 01:48:00,703
[Deadpool]
Because I'm Marvel Jesus.
2560
01:48:01,770 --> 01:48:03,277
Or Spock.
2561
01:48:03,937 --> 01:48:05,405
Hard to say.
2562
01:48:05,406 --> 01:48:06,874
[glass squeaks]
2563
01:48:07,644 --> 01:48:09,250
[smooches]
2564
01:48:09,547 --> 01:48:11,664
[Wolverine] Wade!
2565
01:48:11,665 --> 01:48:13,782
You fucking idiot!
2566
01:48:16,455 --> 01:48:19,491
[Deadpool laughs]
Sorry, I'm just stalling.
2567
01:48:19,492 --> 01:48:22,395
I think I'm nervous
about dying.
2568
01:48:22,626 --> 01:48:23,692
This should be me.
2569
01:48:23,693 --> 01:48:26,124
[Deadpool] Say hi to
my friends for me, peanut.
2570
01:48:26,125 --> 01:48:26,827
[Wolverine] Wade!
2571
01:48:26,828 --> 01:48:28,962
You want to be an annoying prick,
do it this side!
2572
01:48:28,963 --> 01:48:31,701
You're gonna die in there,
you dumb fuck!
2573
01:48:31,702 --> 01:48:33,868
[breathing heavily]
2574
01:48:38,103 --> 01:48:39,972
Hey! You don't need
to do this.
2575
01:48:39,973 --> 01:48:43,042
[Deadpool] I'm not doing it
'cause I need it.
2576
01:48:43,043 --> 01:48:45,847
I'm doing it
because they do.
2577
01:48:45,848 --> 01:48:47,387
[grunts]
2578
01:48:49,114 --> 01:48:51,424
[straining]
2579
01:48:56,693 --> 01:48:58,299
No!
2580
01:48:58,728 --> 01:49:00,367
[grunting]
2581
01:49:01,962 --> 01:49:04,063
[straining]
2582
01:49:11,576 --> 01:49:13,006
[grunts]
2583
01:49:14,139 --> 01:49:16,284
[straining]
2584
01:49:22,180 --> 01:49:24,049
[exhales]
2585
01:49:24,050 --> 01:49:26,085
[continues straining]
2586
01:49:26,888 --> 01:49:29,154
He's not gonna make it.
2587
01:49:32,058 --> 01:49:33,928
[strains]
2588
01:49:37,239 --> 01:49:38,999
It's over.
2589
01:49:40,275 --> 01:49:41,870
[grunts]
2590
01:49:42,035 --> 01:49:43,905
[straining]
2591
01:49:46,479 --> 01:49:48,745
[continues straining]
2592
01:49:51,044 --> 01:49:51,648
[screaming]
2593
01:49:51,649 --> 01:49:52,980
[choir]
♪ When you call my name ♪
2594
01:49:52,981 --> 01:49:54,751
♪ It's like a little prayer ♪
2595
01:49:54,752 --> 01:49:56,654
♪ I'm down on my knees ♪
2596
01:49:56,655 --> 01:49:58,556
♪ I want to take you there ♪
2597
01:49:58,557 --> 01:50:02,461
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪
2598
01:50:02,462 --> 01:50:06,862
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪
2599
01:50:06,863 --> 01:50:07,598
[grunting]
2600
01:50:07,599 --> 01:50:10,552
♪ Take you there ♪
2601
01:50:10,553 --> 01:50:13,505
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
2602
01:50:13,506 --> 01:50:16,971
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
2603
01:50:16,972 --> 01:50:17,872
[straining]
2604
01:50:17,873 --> 01:50:21,613
- ♪ I hear you call my name ♪
- [grunting]
2605
01:50:21,614 --> 01:50:24,946
- ♪ And it feels like ♪
- [straining]
2606
01:50:25,848 --> 01:50:30,820
- ♪ And it feels like home ♪
- [straining]
2607
01:50:30,821 --> 01:50:32,822
[rumbling]
2608
01:50:38,927 --> 01:50:40,994
[yelling]
2609
01:50:40,995 --> 01:50:43,063
[screaming]
2610
01:50:44,471 --> 01:50:45,570
[♪ music fades]
2611
01:50:45,571 --> 01:50:48,155
[Deadpool] The Wolverine.
2612
01:50:48,156 --> 01:50:50,741
He's a hero in my world.
2613
01:50:51,577 --> 01:50:53,238
[Wolverine] Whoever
you think I am,
2614
01:50:53,239 --> 01:50:55,383
you got the wrong guy.
2615
01:50:55,614 --> 01:50:58,782
[Laura] You were always
the wrong guy...
2616
01:50:59,519 --> 01:51:00,354
till you weren't.
2617
01:51:00,355 --> 01:51:03,017
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
2618
01:51:03,018 --> 01:51:04,116
[Mr. Paradox] Wade.
2619
01:51:04,117 --> 01:51:06,052
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
2620
01:51:06,053 --> 01:51:10,662
Wade. You can finally,
finally matter.
2621
01:51:10,663 --> 01:51:12,994
♪ I hear you call my name ♪
2622
01:51:12,995 --> 01:51:18,340
♪ And it feels like ♪
2623
01:51:18,505 --> 01:51:21,023
♪ Home ♪
2624
01:51:21,024 --> 01:51:23,542
[straining]
2625
01:51:23,543 --> 01:51:27,140
♪ I hear your voice ♪
2626
01:51:27,141 --> 01:51:27,843
Vanessa.
2627
01:51:27,844 --> 01:51:30,616
♪ It's like an angel sighing ♪
2628
01:51:30,617 --> 01:51:31,418
I wanna see Vanessa.
2629
01:51:31,419 --> 01:51:36,083
♪ I have no choice
I hear your voice ♪
2630
01:51:36,084 --> 01:51:37,787
♪ Feels like flying ♪
2631
01:51:37,788 --> 01:51:43,827
For the first time in my life,
I am proud to wear this suit.
2632
01:51:44,091 --> 01:51:46,731
It means I'm an X-Man.
2633
01:51:48,601 --> 01:51:49,568
I am the X-Man.
2634
01:51:49,569 --> 01:51:50,932
♪ I can feel your power ♪
2635
01:51:50,933 --> 01:51:55,773
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪
2636
01:51:55,774 --> 01:51:56,377
[screaming]
2637
01:51:56,378 --> 01:51:59,843
♪ When you call my name
It's like a little prayer ♪
2638
01:51:59,844 --> 01:52:02,879
♪ I'm down on my knees ♪
2639
01:52:02,880 --> 01:52:03,483
[screaming]
2640
01:52:03,484 --> 01:52:08,016
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪
2641
01:52:08,017 --> 01:52:09,016
♪ Just like a prayer ♪
2642
01:52:09,017 --> 01:52:14,429
♪ You know I'll take you,
take you, take you ♪
2643
01:52:15,991 --> 01:52:18,059
[♪ song fades out]
2644
01:52:24,439 --> 01:52:27,299
[♪ solemn music playing]
2645
01:52:34,108 --> 01:52:36,275
[woman] Paradox.
2646
01:52:37,485 --> 01:52:38,815
You've been busy.
2647
01:52:38,816 --> 01:52:39,651
Well, somebody had to be.
2648
01:52:39,652 --> 01:52:41,819
We had some strange readings
from this location.
2649
01:52:41,820 --> 01:52:42,885
You wouldn't know
anything about
2650
01:52:42,886 --> 01:52:45,003
an unsanctioned Time Ripper,
would you?
2651
01:52:45,004 --> 01:52:46,931
Uh, no. No.
I wouldn't know anything
2652
01:52:46,932 --> 01:52:48,912
about an unsanctioned
Time Ripper.
2653
01:52:48,913 --> 01:52:50,894
Maybe you should ask
Cassandra Nova.
2654
01:52:50,895 --> 01:52:51,663
Because I was assured
2655
01:52:51,664 --> 01:52:54,062
that she was safely held
in The Void. But no,
2656
01:52:54,063 --> 01:52:55,997
she was here.
And she fondled my brain.
2657
01:52:55,998 --> 01:52:58,737
- How did you let this happen?
- You weren't involved at all?
2658
01:52:58,738 --> 01:53:01,806
In stopping her, yes!
Yes, I was.
2659
01:53:01,807 --> 01:53:02,740
But not nearly enough.
2660
01:53:02,741 --> 01:53:06,448
Not as much as the men
who went down there after her.
2661
01:53:06,778 --> 01:53:08,241
My men.
2662
01:53:08,516 --> 01:53:10,045
My friends.
2663
01:53:10,782 --> 01:53:11,408
I warned them.
2664
01:53:11,409 --> 01:53:13,213
That they would be completely
obliterated if they went.
2665
01:53:13,214 --> 01:53:15,787
But they went anyway. Like...
2666
01:53:16,887 --> 01:53:17,986
Like heroes.
2667
01:53:17,987 --> 01:53:20,153
[♪ somber music playing]
2668
01:53:20,154 --> 01:53:22,321
Because that's who they were.
2669
01:53:23,993 --> 01:53:26,765
They just did
what they had to do.
2670
01:53:26,864 --> 01:53:29,768
With no concern
for their own safety.
2671
01:53:31,935 --> 01:53:35,708
The fact that we are
all still standing here
2672
01:53:35,709 --> 01:53:39,437
is a testament
to their heroism.
2673
01:53:42,011 --> 01:53:43,782
Anyway, there's nothing
you or I can do
2674
01:53:43,783 --> 01:53:45,685
to bring them back now.
2675
01:53:46,180 --> 01:53:48,853
[Deadpool] He has risen,
baby girl.
2676
01:53:48,854 --> 01:53:49,347
Fuck!
2677
01:53:49,348 --> 01:53:53,318
♪ And I don't want
the world to see me ♪
2678
01:53:53,319 --> 01:53:58,324
♪ 'Cause I don't think
that they'd understand ♪
2679
01:53:58,325 --> 01:54:03,483
♪ When everything's
made to be broken ♪
2680
01:54:03,484 --> 01:54:06,645
♪ I just want you
to know who I am ♪
2681
01:54:06,646 --> 01:54:09,807
[Deadpool]
Found your new Anchor Being.
2682
01:54:09,808 --> 01:54:12,579
And we're doing just fine,
you piece of shit.
2683
01:54:12,580 --> 01:54:14,846
- [female TVA agent] Mm.
- [male TVA agent] Mm-hmm.
2684
01:54:14,847 --> 01:54:15,615
Fine indeed.
2685
01:54:15,616 --> 01:54:19,147
[Deadpool] All right.
Put your greasy tits away,
2686
01:54:19,148 --> 01:54:20,015
you preening slut.
2687
01:54:20,016 --> 01:54:21,731
- [sighs]
- I don't understand.
2688
01:54:21,732 --> 01:54:23,447
How are you two still alive?
2689
01:54:23,448 --> 01:54:25,824
[Deadpool] You were right. One
of us would have been killed.
2690
01:54:25,825 --> 01:54:27,826
- [gasps]
- But you put a Deadpool
2691
01:54:27,827 --> 01:54:28,661
and a Wolverine together,
2692
01:54:28,662 --> 01:54:31,533
make 'em hold hands
while listening to Madonna...
2693
01:54:31,534 --> 01:54:33,600
indestructible, motherfucker.
2694
01:54:33,601 --> 01:54:35,933
Let's get this Deadpool
Variant back to The Void.
2695
01:54:35,934 --> 01:54:37,495
[Deadpool] Wait, hold on.
What?
2696
01:54:37,496 --> 01:54:38,495
[Peter] Nope. Actually...
2697
01:54:38,496 --> 01:54:40,575
This one's homegrown, like me.
2698
01:54:40,576 --> 01:54:41,537
He belongs here.
2699
01:54:41,538 --> 01:54:42,499
And you are?
2700
01:54:42,500 --> 01:54:46,240
Peterpool.
But you can call me Peter.
2701
01:54:47,076 --> 01:54:49,045
And I hope that you do.
2702
01:54:54,149 --> 01:54:56,118
What the fuck
is happening here?
2703
01:54:56,119 --> 01:54:57,514
You are under judgment
2704
01:54:57,515 --> 01:54:59,726
for operating
an unsanctioned Time Ripper.
2705
01:54:59,727 --> 01:55:01,090
- Take him.
- I was just doing what
2706
01:55:01,091 --> 01:55:02,894
you don't have
the guts to do.
2707
01:55:02,895 --> 01:55:03,630
[Deadpool smooches]
2708
01:55:03,631 --> 01:55:07,426
Get your insolent hands
off me! Get off!
2709
01:55:07,965 --> 01:55:10,363
I'm grateful, gentlemen.
2710
01:55:10,572 --> 01:55:11,297
Let's hold the bows.
2711
01:55:11,298 --> 01:55:13,839
You led an Omega-level mutant
to this timeline.
2712
01:55:13,840 --> 01:55:15,456
- [Deadpool] You're welcome.
- And you
2713
01:55:15,457 --> 01:55:17,535
shouldn't even be
near this timeline.
2714
01:55:17,536 --> 01:55:19,614
- [Deadpool] He's welcome.
- And you
2715
01:55:19,615 --> 01:55:21,715
look damn good in that suit.
2716
01:55:21,716 --> 01:55:23,376
I'm so sorry.
2717
01:55:23,618 --> 01:55:25,246
[device beeping]
2718
01:55:26,951 --> 01:55:29,382
I wanna show you something.
2719
01:55:29,921 --> 01:55:30,514
Something huge.
2720
01:55:30,515 --> 01:55:33,727
[Deadpool] That's what
Scoutmaster Kevin used to say.
2721
01:55:34,695 --> 01:55:35,992
Do you see that?
2722
01:55:35,993 --> 01:55:38,699
Your universe is regenerating.
2723
01:55:38,864 --> 01:55:40,524
Whatever you did here,
2724
01:55:40,525 --> 01:55:42,702
you not only saved your world.
2725
01:55:42,703 --> 01:55:46,201
You spared your timeline
from extinction.
2726
01:55:47,532 --> 01:55:48,136
I'd rest up.
2727
01:55:48,137 --> 01:55:50,744
I have a feeling your work
is only just getting started.
2728
01:55:50,745 --> 01:55:53,571
[Deadpool whispers]
Till you're 90.
2729
01:55:53,572 --> 01:55:54,439
Wait! Um...
2730
01:55:54,440 --> 01:55:58,312
We couldn't have made it out
of The Void without some help
2731
01:55:58,313 --> 01:56:01,920
from some people
that the world kind of...
2732
01:56:01,921 --> 01:56:02,513
kind of forgot.
2733
01:56:02,514 --> 01:56:05,759
Is there any way that
you could maybe find a way
2734
01:56:05,760 --> 01:56:07,761
to bring them home?
2735
01:56:08,696 --> 01:56:09,487
I'll see what I can do.
2736
01:56:09,488 --> 01:56:12,507
[Deadpool] And, um,
I promised my friend here
2737
01:56:12,508 --> 01:56:15,527
that the TVA could undo
some pretty awful shit
2738
01:56:15,528 --> 01:56:16,164
in his timeline.
2739
01:56:16,165 --> 01:56:17,936
What would you say to that?
2740
01:56:17,937 --> 01:56:18,870
Change the past?
2741
01:56:18,871 --> 01:56:21,137
[Deadpool] Well, he did
help me save the world.
2742
01:56:21,138 --> 01:56:24,778
And his past made him
the man who did it.
2743
01:56:24,779 --> 01:56:28,177
There's nothing to fix,
Mr. Wilson.
2744
01:56:29,112 --> 01:56:30,784
Logan.
2745
01:56:32,951 --> 01:56:35,987
- [Deadpool] Shawarma? Yeah.
- I could eat.
2746
01:56:44,490 --> 01:56:48,098
You know, the Avengers
discovered shawarma.
2747
01:56:48,099 --> 01:56:50,804
They'd be lucky to have you.
2748
01:56:53,840 --> 01:56:56,205
[dog barking]
2749
01:56:57,140 --> 01:56:59,747
- Oh.
- Oh, come on.
2750
01:56:59,748 --> 01:57:01,276
Fuck off!
2751
01:57:01,573 --> 01:57:02,881
Come here, my little cunchkin.
2752
01:57:02,882 --> 01:57:04,752
- [Dogpool barks]
- Yes, it's you.
2753
01:57:04,753 --> 01:57:06,985
You're a survivor.
2754
01:57:06,986 --> 01:57:07,644
Mwah.
2755
01:57:07,645 --> 01:57:10,318
Oh, all is right in the world.
2756
01:57:11,022 --> 01:57:12,760
Yes, it is.
2757
01:57:13,552 --> 01:57:15,730
So what are you gonna do next?
2758
01:57:16,027 --> 01:57:19,228
I'll figure it out.
I always do.
2759
01:57:19,525 --> 01:57:21,130
All right.
2760
01:57:21,131 --> 01:57:22,428
So I'll probably
see you around?
2761
01:57:22,429 --> 01:57:26,334
[♪ soul music playing,
"You're All I Need to Get By"]
2762
01:57:27,907 --> 01:57:29,667
Probably not.
2763
01:57:32,175 --> 01:57:33,946
See you, bub.
2764
01:57:42,856 --> 01:57:44,682
[Wade] Logan.
2765
01:57:50,523 --> 01:57:52,057
Al. I'm back.
2766
01:57:52,058 --> 01:57:53,591
About damn time.
2767
01:57:53,592 --> 01:57:56,628
You holdin'? I'm all outta
devil's dandruff,
2768
01:57:56,629 --> 01:57:58,938
and I'm shaking
like an angry vibrator.
2769
01:57:58,939 --> 01:58:01,743
Thank you, Al.
We have company.
2770
01:58:01,744 --> 01:58:03,244
Althea, this is...
2771
01:58:03,245 --> 01:58:04,745
This is Logan.
2772
01:58:04,746 --> 01:58:07,660
- Nice to meet you, Logan.
- Nice to meet you, too.
2773
01:58:07,661 --> 01:58:10,576
And this little ancient anal
shit-knot is Mary Puppins.
2774
01:58:10,577 --> 01:58:12,852
Or as I like to call her,
Dogpool.
2775
01:58:12,853 --> 01:58:15,954
You want to treat yourself
to a little stroke?
2776
01:58:15,955 --> 01:58:19,755
- Get the tongue. There it is.
- Oh, my God! Motherfucker!
2777
01:58:19,756 --> 01:58:23,556
Right? It's like an armadillo
fucked a gremlin, angrily,
2778
01:58:23,557 --> 01:58:25,128
- in a bed of gonorrhea...
- Wow.
2779
01:58:25,129 --> 01:58:28,693
...and didn't stop till
the sun came up. [chuckles]
2780
01:58:28,902 --> 01:58:30,562
Everyone wants to matter.
2781
01:58:30,563 --> 01:58:34,171
Turns out that you don't need
to be Marvel Jesus to do it.
2782
01:58:34,172 --> 01:58:37,944
You just need to open
your eyes and look around.
2783
01:58:37,945 --> 01:58:39,846
And if you're lucky,
2784
01:58:39,847 --> 01:58:41,981
you'll find a few friends.
2785
01:58:41,982 --> 01:58:43,883
Old friends,
2786
01:58:43,884 --> 01:58:46,414
and some new ones too.
2787
01:58:47,580 --> 01:58:49,219
[laughter]
2788
01:58:49,890 --> 01:58:53,157
Give me the fucking dog.
Talk to the girl.
2789
01:58:57,161 --> 01:58:59,295
[indistinct chatter]
2790
01:59:03,134 --> 01:59:04,002
Oh, hi.
2791
01:59:04,003 --> 01:59:05,938
- Hi.
- [both laugh]
2792
01:59:05,939 --> 01:59:07,819
[Wade clears throat]
2793
01:59:07,820 --> 01:59:09,701
You've been busy.
2794
01:59:11,945 --> 01:59:14,178
I did it for you.
2795
01:59:14,673 --> 01:59:18,644
And even if you don't want me,
I... I did it for you.
2796
01:59:27,191 --> 01:59:28,653
Turns out,
2797
01:59:28,654 --> 01:59:30,424
I am the world-saving type.
2798
01:59:30,425 --> 01:59:34,000
Just look around this table
if you want proof.
2799
01:59:34,099 --> 01:59:35,836
And the best part?
2800
01:59:35,837 --> 01:59:38,730
Sometimes the people we save,
2801
01:59:38,731 --> 01:59:40,137
they save us right back.
2802
01:59:40,138 --> 01:59:41,700
[♪ "You're All I Need
to Get By" continues playing]
2803
01:59:41,701 --> 01:59:45,538
♪ We've got
the right foundation ♪
2804
01:59:45,539 --> 01:59:50,412
♪ And with the love
and determination ♪
2805
01:59:50,413 --> 01:59:57,412
♪ You're all,
you're all I need ♪
2806
02:00:01,720 --> 02:00:03,259
♪ You're all ♪
2807
02:00:03,260 --> 02:00:09,299
♪ You're all
I need to get by ♪
2808
02:00:11,829 --> 02:00:14,798
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
2809
02:00:14,799 --> 02:00:19,342
[♪ alt. rock music plays,
Green Day "Time of Your Life"]
2810
02:00:19,947 --> 02:00:22,840
[Charles] You're not
the only one with gifts.
2811
02:00:22,841 --> 02:00:24,809
What is this place?
2812
02:00:33,224 --> 02:00:38,261
♪ Another turning point,
a fork stuck in the road ♪
2813
02:00:38,262 --> 02:00:43,861
♪ Time grabs you by the wrist,
directs you where to go ♪
2814
02:00:43,862 --> 02:00:44,333
[groans]
2815
02:00:44,334 --> 02:00:48,502
♪ So make the best of this
test and don't ask why ♪
2816
02:00:48,503 --> 02:00:52,672
♪ It's not a question, but
a lesson learned in time ♪
2817
02:00:52,673 --> 02:00:54,206
- Nice suit.
- Zip it, Stan Lee.
2818
02:00:54,207 --> 02:00:55,741
♪ It's something
unpredictable ♪
2819
02:00:55,742 --> 02:00:57,841
♪ But in the end is right ♪
2820
02:00:57,842 --> 02:01:02,748
♪ I hope you had
the time of your life... ♪
2821
02:01:02,749 --> 02:01:03,319
[laughter]
2822
02:01:03,320 --> 02:01:05,536
I really like the, uh...
the art in the Deadpool comics.
2823
02:01:05,537 --> 02:01:07,997
You know, I just always felt
a kind of a kinship to him.
2824
02:01:07,998 --> 02:01:10,458
And I just thought,
I'd like to play that guy someday.
2825
02:01:10,459 --> 02:01:15,827
♪ So take the photographs and
still frames in your mind ♪
2826
02:01:15,828 --> 02:01:20,832
♪ Hang it on a shelf in
good health and good time ♪
2827
02:01:20,833 --> 02:01:25,980
♪ Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial ♪
2828
02:01:25,981 --> 02:01:28,950
♪ For what it's worth,
it was worth ♪
2829
02:01:28,951 --> 02:01:31,876
- ♪ All the while ♪
- [applause]
2830
02:01:31,877 --> 02:01:32,447
[cheering]
2831
02:01:32,448 --> 02:01:33,812
♪ It's something
unpredictable ♪
2832
02:01:33,813 --> 02:01:35,417
♪ But in the end is right ♪
2833
02:01:35,418 --> 02:01:39,157
♪ I hope you had
the time of your life... ♪
2834
02:01:39,158 --> 02:01:43,063
I was there for three weeks
before I shot a single thing.
2835
02:01:43,064 --> 02:01:45,461
At our first day of shooting,
2836
02:01:45,462 --> 02:01:46,791
I was so nervous, man.
2837
02:01:46,792 --> 02:01:49,003
Everyone was sort of going,
"Who's this guy?"
2838
02:01:49,004 --> 02:01:50,867
You know,
there was a lot of that and,
2839
02:01:50,868 --> 02:01:53,350
you know,
"Is he gonna deliver or not?"
2840
02:01:53,351 --> 02:01:55,833
You can feel
all that kind of pressure.
2841
02:01:55,834 --> 02:02:00,410
It's always the suit's fault.
Never the actor.
2842
02:02:07,516 --> 02:02:08,120
[screaming]
2843
02:02:08,121 --> 02:02:09,319
- This is...
- The only way.
2844
02:02:09,320 --> 02:02:12,026
♪ It's something
unpredictable ♪
2845
02:02:12,027 --> 02:02:13,752
♪ But in the end is right ♪
2846
02:02:13,753 --> 02:02:18,791
♪ I hope you had
the time of your life ♪
2847
02:02:18,792 --> 02:02:22,069
Ah, so this is
what it feels like.
2848
02:02:23,829 --> 02:02:25,363
And there's the lights.
2849
02:02:25,364 --> 02:02:26,897
For medical research.
2850
02:02:26,898 --> 02:02:29,472
- Bye-bye, video. [smooches]
- [man] Bye.
2851
02:02:29,473 --> 02:02:31,177
[♪ song ends]
2852
02:02:34,675 --> 02:02:37,810
[♪ instrumental music playing]
2853
02:06:42,527 --> 02:06:45,827
[Deadpool] I'm tired of
these absolutely vile rumors
2854
02:06:45,828 --> 02:06:47,895
that I got Johnny killed.
2855
02:06:48,093 --> 02:06:49,996
Let's look at the tape.
2856
02:06:50,601 --> 02:06:51,568
In The Void,
2857
02:06:51,569 --> 02:06:53,769
you're either food for Alioth
2858
02:06:53,770 --> 02:06:55,738
or you work for her.
2859
02:06:57,905 --> 02:06:59,037
[Deadpool] Go on, Johnny.
2860
02:06:59,038 --> 02:07:01,172
And I'll tell you
who "her" is.
2861
02:07:01,173 --> 02:07:01,776
Cassandra Nova.
2862
02:07:01,777 --> 02:07:03,696
A megalomaniacal,
psychotic asshole.
2863
02:07:03,697 --> 02:07:05,615
A finger licking
dead-inside pixie slab
2864
02:07:05,616 --> 02:07:08,014
of third rate dime-store nut-milk.
And I'll tell you
2865
02:07:08,015 --> 02:07:09,768
- what she can do.
- [Deadpool] I'm listening.
2866
02:07:09,769 --> 02:07:11,327
She can lick my goddamn
cinnamon ring clean
2867
02:07:11,328 --> 02:07:12,886
and kick rocks
all the way to bald hell.
2868
02:07:12,887 --> 02:07:15,494
In fact, I don't give a shit
if she removes all my skin
2869
02:07:15,495 --> 02:07:18,090
and pops me like some
nightmarish blood balloon.
2870
02:07:18,091 --> 02:07:18,859
If the last thing I do
2871
02:07:18,860 --> 02:07:20,994
in this godforsaken
cum-gutter existence
2872
02:07:20,995 --> 02:07:22,930
is light
that fuck-box on fire,
2873
02:07:22,931 --> 02:07:23,666
I still won't die happy.
2874
02:07:23,667 --> 02:07:24,964
[Deadpool laughs]
Holy shit, girl. You crazy.
2875
02:07:24,965 --> 02:07:28,199
That's right, Wade.
I won't be happy until I've urinated
2876
02:07:28,200 --> 02:07:29,854
on her freshly
barbecued corpse
2877
02:07:29,855 --> 02:07:31,650
and husk-fucked
the charred remains
2878
02:07:31,651 --> 02:07:33,615
while gargling
Juggernaut's juggernuts.
2879
02:07:33,616 --> 02:07:35,580
- [Deadpool] Wow!
- And you can quote me.
2880
02:07:35,581 --> 02:07:37,279
[Deadpool] 'Kay.
2881
02:07:37,280 --> 02:07:38,979
Got you, fuckface.
205447
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