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[theme music playing]
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♪ Here's the story ♪
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♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
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♪ Who was bringing up ♪
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♪ Three very
Lovely girls ♪
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♪ All of them had
Hair of gold ♪
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♪ Like their mother ♪
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♪ The youngest one
In curls ♪
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♪ It's the story
Of a man named Brady ♪
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00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:33,658
♪ Who was busy with
Three boys of his own ♪
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♪ They were four men
Living all together ♪
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♪ Yet they
Were all alone ♪
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♪ Till the one day when
The lady met this fellow ♪
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♪ And they knew that it was ♪
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♪ Much more than a hunch ♪
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♪ That this group ♪
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♪ Must somehow form a family ♪
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♪ That's the way we all ♪
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♪ Became the Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ That's the way we became ♪
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
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How do these strike
you, Mrs. Brady?
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Well, they're lovely, Alice,
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but I don't think
curtains look right there.
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No, no. I'm helping
the boyfriend
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decorate his apartment tonight.
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Think Sam will like
these in his kitchen?
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Aren't they a
little frilly, Alice?
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Looks like they'd go better
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in a woman's apartment
than a man's apartment.
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That's the whole idea,
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to turn that man's apartment
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into this woman's apartment.
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[horn honking]
37
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Oh, look who's
home early on Friday.
38
00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:04,415
Oh, what a way to
start the weekend.
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Hi, honey.
Gee, what a great surprise.
I hope nothing's wrong.
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Wrong? Wait till you
hear. You're going to flip.
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Well, how about a kiss first?
You know, that flips me, too.
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Hey, you only hit one lip.
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Guess what I have here.
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Well...
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Ah, don't bother,
'cause you'll never guess.
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Was I close?
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Two tickets, fifth row center,
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for tonight to see...
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Oh, Mike, I can't believe it!
50
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For tonight!
51
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But that show's been
sold out for weeks.
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-Well, I...
-Oh, Mike, I'm so excited!
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How did you ever do it?
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But we can't go.
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Can't go?
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Carol, after all I went through
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to get these things?
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Well, I'm sorry, Mike,
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but Alice is helping Sam
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00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,465
decorate his new
apartment tonight.
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00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,426
Yeah? Well, she can
do that another night.
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What's the big deal?
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Well, you know, Alice
likes Sam very much.
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I like Sam very much.
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Mike, you don't
want to marry Sam.
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No. You got me there.
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So maybe we can
work out something else.
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-Hi, kids.
-Hi, Dad.
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Hi, Dad.
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Honey, you want to see this show
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as much as I do, don't you?
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Of course.
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Honey, you know it's something
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we never think of
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because Alice is always here,
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but why don't we
call a baby-sitter?
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Yeah. Why not, indeed?
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Let's make an
evening out of it...
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Dinner first, and
the show afterwards.
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Look, I'll call Jennifer
down the street.
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00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,420
She does baby-sitting.
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A baby-sitter!
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For us?
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Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
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You can say that again.
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Treating us like we're infants.
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A baby-sitter.
88
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I, for one, would feel
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absolutely humiliated
to be sat for.
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00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,323
So would I.
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00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,909
I think we ought to take a
firm stand with Mom and Dad.
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Right. No baby-sitter for us.
93
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I'll do all the talking,
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00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,331
but you keep nodding
your head a lot.
95
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,042
Okay, but you've got
to look like we mean it.
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Don't worry. I will.
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I'll look them straight in the
eye and tell them we do mean it.
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And I promise to back you up.
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Oh, well, then you
wouldn't be able to sit for us.
100
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,097
It's Maude's bowling night.
101
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:25,556
Well, thanks, anyway, Maude.
102
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I hope you break 100. Bye.
103
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Well, I don't know
what we're going to do, Alice.
104
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,314
-I've called everybody
I can think of.
-Me, too.
105
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-How we doing?
-We're not.
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What about Jennifer
down the street?
107
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That sounded so simple.
108
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:39,779
Well, she moved.
109
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And you know my
folks are out of town.
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Everybody else we
could think of are busy.
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00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:45,785
[groans]
112
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:52,041
Hey, I just thought
of somebody. Me!
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I can help Sam decorate
his apartment any old night.
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You got tickets to a show.
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I don't need a
ticket to see Sam.
116
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Hey, great.
117
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,552
But we wouldn't hear of it.
118
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No. We wouldn't
hear of that, Alice.
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Oh, I don't mind, really.
120
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:08,725
Alice, don't give
it another thought.
121
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:10,226
Mike, uh...
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Listen, Mike, this
evening out with Sam
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really means a lot to Alice.
124
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Okay, okay. I got the point.
125
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I got your elbow, too.
126
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Listen, why don't we call
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one of those professional
baby-sitting agencies?
128
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They're reliable.
129
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,285
You know something?
You are brilliant.
130
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,912
You know, for that
you're going to get both lips.
131
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[clears throat] Mom? Dad?
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-I'm sorry.
-It's all right, Greg.
133
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Just remind where
we were, would you?
134
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Of course. What is it, kids?
135
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,094
Marcia and I would like
to talk to you for a moment.
136
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:47,513
Sure. Go ahead.
137
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,977
Well? What is it, Greg?
138
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,687
We're bugged about
something, Dad.
139
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Real bugged.
140
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About what?
141
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,274
Marcia and I think we're too old
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to have a baby-sitter,
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and we're very firm about that.
144
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,196
[Marcia] Very firm about that.
145
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,200
Too old, huh?
146
00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:08,451
Yes, sir. Too old.
147
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,286
-I'm 14.
-I'm 13.
148
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,497
Kids our age are baby-sitters.
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They have a very good point.
150
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,126
Yeah.
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00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,628
Somehow, when they're your own,
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they seem younger.
153
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:22,423
Then we can sit for
ourselves tonight?
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00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:25,218
Well, it's all right
with me if it's all right
with your mother.
155
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Well, why not?
156
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,014
-Great!
-Thanks, Mom.
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Okay. Your tour of duty
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will start at
approximately 6:00,
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at which time I'm going
to take your mother
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to a very fancy restaurant.
161
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,773
6:00. Check. Come on, Marcia.
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[whispering]
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Dad?
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00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:43,986
Now what?
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00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:46,280
Baby-sitters get
75 cents an hour.
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What?
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-Each.
-Each?
168
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They sure are growing up.
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Now, I'm trusting all of you
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00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,048
to be on your extra-best
behavior tonight
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with Greg and Marcia.
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00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:08,886
[Cindy] Gee, Mom.
You mean you're
leaving us all alone?
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What a dodo. She just
got through telling you
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we're going to be with you.
It's not being alone.
175
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You want to bet?
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Mom, does this mean
177
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we have to follow their orders?
178
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Especially his?
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Your father and I
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00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,067
have left instructions
with Greg and Marcia.
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00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,986
They'll be acting for us.
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Does that answer your questions?
183
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Yeah.
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00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:30,867
We have to follow orders.
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Good thinking.
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00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:34,370
Which one is the
head baby-sitter?
187
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Greg or Marcia?
188
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:36,622
Neither one.
189
00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,291
We're both the same.
190
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:39,292
Right, Mom?
191
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:40,334
Right.
192
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,503
You mean I have
to ask both of them
193
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to help me take a bath?
194
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:45,548
No chance, man.
195
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,467
I'll skip my bath.
196
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,635
No chance, man.
197
00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:50,761
Greg will help you.
198
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,722
I'd still rather skip it.
199
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:54,265
[sniffles loudly]
200
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,685
Cindy, are you coming
down with the sniffles?
201
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:01,898
If I am, I don't want Greg
or Marcia blowing my nose.
202
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:04,525
I can do it myself.
203
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,611
Okay, Greg and
Marcia, you heard that.
204
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,654
No nose-blowing for Cindy.
205
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,948
Well, I guess that does it.
206
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,658
I better go get dressed.
207
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,578
[sniffles again]
208
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:18,664
Cindy, are you sure
you're feeling all right?
209
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:19,707
Fine.
210
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,459
Well, just to be sure,
211
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,753
I think we better
take your temperature.
212
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,087
I'll help, Mom.
213
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:27,548
Come on, Jan. Let's watch TV.
214
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,054
Everything under control?
215
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:34,263
I have the sniffles.
216
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,848
But I can blow my own nose.
217
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,518
-Sniffles?
-Oh, she's fine, Mike.
218
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:44,190
Greg... I want to make sure now
219
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,025
that you remember everything.
220
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,276
Would you stop worrying?
221
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,237
You said you trusted us.
222
00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:51,280
Right. Right.
223
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,615
I do.
224
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,958
You smell something.
Smoke's coming out
of the television set.
225
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:04,252
-What do you do?
-Get everybody out of the house
226
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:06,254
and call the fire department.
227
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,640
Hot-water pipe bursts.
What do you do?
228
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:18,891
I don't take a bath.
229
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,184
Not you. Him.
230
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:23,229
I turn off the main valve
and call the plumber.
231
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:26,899
Yeah.
232
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:32,029
All right. Go get your face
washed... know-it-all.
233
00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:38,035
Dad? Why do baby-sitters
have to know so much?
234
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,371
Well, because...
235
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,622
they're here to protect you
236
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,000
while Mom and Dad
are out of the house.
237
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,960
Protect us from what?
238
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,129
Oh, Bobby, all kinds of things.
239
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,965
Accidents, stranger at the door.
240
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,467
I don't know any strangers.
241
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:56,262
Bobby, come with me.
Come with me.
242
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,519
Now, I'm going to go outside
243
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,229
and knock on the door.
244
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:07,732
Did you lose your key?
245
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:08,566
Huh?
246
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,692
No, I didn't lose my key,
247
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,861
I just want to show
you something.
248
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,283
What are you doing?
249
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,076
Trying to see what you're doing.
250
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:22,288
Never mind that. Now,
just do what I told you.
251
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,000
[knocking]
252
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:28,878
Hi, Daddy.
253
00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:31,297
Never open the front door
254
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,633
without asking who it is.
255
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,093
Now... try it again.
256
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,428
Okay.
257
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:40,890
[knocking]
258
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:41,932
Who is it?
259
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:43,517
It's Daddy.
260
00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:45,478
That's very good.
261
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:47,063
Now... this time,
262
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,939
I'm going to be a stranger.
263
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,524
And a stranger is somebody
264
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,568
that we don't know, okay?
265
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:57,740
And we never open doors
for people we don't know.
266
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,241
-Right?
-Right.
267
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:03,663
[knocking]
268
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:04,955
Who is it?
269
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,458
My name is Herman.
Can I come in?
270
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,834
No. You're a stranger.
271
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:11,587
Okay, Bobby, time to
get cleaned up for dinner.
272
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,713
But... but...
273
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,632
No buts. Go on.
Move along. Move...
274
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:15,758
[knocking]
275
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,343
[mimicking old lady]
I'm a little old lady,
276
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:20,554
and I want to use your
telephone. Let me in.
277
00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:24,433
[in normal voice]
Yeah, that's good, Bobby.
Okay, open the door.
278
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:28,104
-[knocking]
-Come on, open up. I'm
not a stranger anymore.
279
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,650
For somebody
who's not a stranger,
280
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,902
you're certainly
acting mighty strange.
281
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,028
I was just...
282
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:39,156
Well, I was, I was telling Bobby
about strangers,
283
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,867
and not to open the door,
and I was Herman and...
284
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:42,827
[giggling]
285
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,245
he went off, and you came up,
286
00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:47,206
and I... It's kind
of funny, isn't it?
287
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,125
Hilarious.
288
00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:01,971
Carol?
289
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:10,229
Carol... Oh, there you are.
290
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,022
Gorgeous.
291
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:13,649
[horn honking]
292
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,151
Alice, Sam's here!
293
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,527
We all set?
294
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:18,404
I... I think so.
295
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:19,864
Something's wrong.
296
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:23,075
No. I'm not going to
let a little sniffle
297
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,952
of Cindy's spoil our night out.
298
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:25,911
[horn honks]
299
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,872
-She have any fever?
-None at all.
300
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,458
Then everything's fine.
301
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,251
Does who have a fever?
302
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:33,836
Cindy. But she hasn't.
303
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,171
Just the sniffles.
304
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,047
Oh, my. I hope it doesn't
turn into something worse.
305
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,716
I mean,
you know kids and sniffles.
306
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,802
-[horn honking]
-Have a nice time, everybody.
307
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,095
There's Sam tooting again.
308
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,723
Well, I don't know that
I should go, Mrs. Brady,
309
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,975
with Cindy sick and all.
310
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:51,312
Alice, Cindy is not sick.
311
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:52,730
She just has the sniffles.
312
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,191
What do you think
Greg and I are here for?
313
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:59,028
Still, I think I'd better
tell Sam to forget about it.
314
00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:01,071
Alice... you'll
do no such thing.
315
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:04,074
Alice, Mrs. Brady and I
have the utmost confidence
316
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,036
in the baby-sitters we have
engaged for the evening.
317
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,454
Cindy's in excellent hands.
318
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:09,747
Well, okay. Enjoy the show.
319
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,166
-[honking]
-Happy curtain-hanging, Alice.
320
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,710
-It's our turn.
-Yeah.
321
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,378
I guess so.
322
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:17,797
Something wrong.
323
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:20,841
Well, I was just thinking
about what Alice said.
324
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,260
Children's sniffles can
lead to something worse.
325
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,554
Honey, Cindy
has sniffled before,
326
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,848
and Cindy'll
sniffle again, right?
327
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,851
We'll look in on her every
five minutes if you like.
328
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,478
Please go.
329
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,897
Okay. Shall we?
330
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,273
Let's.
331
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,775
The gas. We turn the gas off?
332
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:41,153
Dad, our stove is electric.
333
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:45,407
I was testing. Just testing.
334
00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:47,701
-Let's go, honey.
-Oh, listen, kids, I--
335
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,662
We know where all the
phone numbers are, Mom.
336
00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:51,664
And we'll lock the
door right behind you.
337
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:52,957
Have a nice time.
338
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,834
Good night, sweetheart.
339
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:56,877
Good night.
340
00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:00,047
[knocking]
341
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,675
You didn't say, "Who is it?"
342
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,969
Only because I knew who it was.
343
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,642
You didn't chain the door.
344
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,815
Parents.
345
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,817
Certainly hard to bring up.
346
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,667
[crunching apple]
347
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,924
Marcia... where
you going with that?
348
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,969
Cindy. She said her sniffles
make her thirsty for milk.
349
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,680
Boy, oh, boy, is she sneaky.
350
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:53,475
She told me her sniffles made
her hungry for chocolate cake.
351
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:02,109
Do you have to eat that in here?
352
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,235
What's wrong with it?
353
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,237
Get a napkin.
I don't want apple juice
354
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:06,614
dribbling all over the furniture
355
00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:08,073
for me to get blamed for.
356
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:09,950
What a grouch.
357
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:13,662
[sighs]
358
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,207
Peter, can't you sit up?
359
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,834
Sure. Why?
360
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,336
Very funny.
361
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:21,545
You'll put a hole in the chair
362
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,505
with your shoe.
Do you mind?
363
00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,717
Happy now, Mr. Dictator?
364
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:27,801
Okay, wise guy.
365
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,136
How'd you like
to go to bed early
366
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:30,471
and miss that
movie on TV tonight?
367
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:31,931
You can't make me do that.
368
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:36,060
I sure can, for not showing
proper respect to your sitter.
369
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:36,977
Oh.
370
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:37,895
That's better.
371
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:41,148
[Western music playing on TV]
372
00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:47,404
Jan, will you hang up the phone
if you're not talking to anyone?
373
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,989
Just a minute, Gloria.
374
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:51,909
It so happens that I
am talking to Gloria,
375
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,535
but I am not talking
at the moment
376
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:56,372
because I am listening
to her do the talking.
377
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,248
Go ahead, Gloria.
378
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,042
[sighs]
379
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,543
Kids.
380
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:05,714
[soft music playing]
381
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:20,854
Would you care for
something from the bar?
382
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,022
Carol?
383
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:24,400
No, I think I'd rather have
a nice wine with dinner.
384
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:27,069
Yeah, me, too. May we have
the wine list, please?
385
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:28,487
Very good, sir.
386
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,367
Isn't this a charming place?
387
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:34,827
Yeah. Now that we've found it,
388
00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:36,829
let's come here more often, hmm?
389
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,914
A very good idea, Mr. Brady.
390
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,457
[chuckles]
391
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,167
What'll it be?
392
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:44,670
Steaks, good burgundy or...
393
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:47,631
fish and chablis?
What do you think?
394
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,425
I think we should
have left this number
395
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:50,592
with Greg and Marcia.
396
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:53,637
Aw, honey, they
know where we are.
397
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,598
We could go whole hog and
have lobster and champagne.
398
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:57,599
What do you say?
399
00:16:57,641 --> 00:16:59,309
I wish I'd had the kids
400
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:00,602
check her temperature.
401
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:03,063
You promised to stop
worrying about Cindy.
402
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,898
Now, she's in good hands, right?
403
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:06,483
Right.
404
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,110
Wine list, sir.
405
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:09,570
Oh, thank you.
406
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,031
All right, what'll it be?
407
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,658
Burgundy, chablis, or champagne?
408
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:15,743
Oh, not champagne.
409
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,870
You know the bubbles
make me sneeze.
410
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:19,204
Yeah, me, too.
411
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,706
And speaking of sneezing...
412
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,833
Honey, no more worrying, okay?
413
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,334
-Uh-oh.
-What's wrong?
414
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:26,920
I think a snap just
broke on my dress.
415
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,797
-Yeah? Let me see.
-No, no. It's all right.
416
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,215
I'll just get a safety pin.
417
00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:31,717
It'll be fine. Don't worry.
418
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,135
I'll be right back.
419
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,640
Ready for your wine, sir?
420
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,809
Uh, I think I'll
wait for my wife.
421
00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:48,609
[dings]
422
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:57,618
[busy signal buzzes]
423
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,579
And then what, Gloria?
424
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,248
[busy signal continues]
425
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:06,835
Anything look tempting?
426
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:09,505
Oh, Mike, their specialty
tonight is abalone steak.
427
00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:11,673
You know how the
kids love abalone.
428
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:12,925
[chuckles]
429
00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:16,470
You remember when Peter
went diving for abalone?
430
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,597
Yes, and he cut his
foot on some coral.
431
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,516
That's right, he did.
432
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,226
Remember, it
wasn't much at first,
433
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,853
and then it turned
out to be pretty nasty.
434
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:28,107
You know that happens sometimes.
435
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,485
Yeah, I suppose so.
436
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:36,824
That looks like Charlie Hoffman.
437
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:39,034
I haven't seen him for years.
438
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:40,536
Who's Charlie Hoffman?
439
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:42,079
He's an old friend.
440
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,497
Uh, he's just going out there.
441
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,500
Will you excuse me while
I see if I can catch him?
442
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,003
[dings]
443
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,970
[busy signal buzzing]
444
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,891
Well, just don't leave
me hanging here, Gloria!
445
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:09,356
[sighs]
446
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,400
Well, it wasn't Charlie Hoffman,
447
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:15,487
but the resemblance
was uncanny... uncanny.
448
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,323
Oh, no. I think that
pin's come loose.
449
00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:20,742
I'll be right back.
450
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:21,869
Listen, honey,
while you're gone,
451
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:22,953
I'll just get some change
452
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,496
for the parking lot attendant.
453
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,499
[dings]
454
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:35,591
The trouble with you, Gloria,
455
00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:39,720
is it's impossible to
believe a word you say.
456
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:45,726
[chuckles]
457
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:47,686
-Good timing, huh?
-Uh-huh.
458
00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:55,152
-Mike, I just called ho--
-Carol, I just called home--
459
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:57,029
You, too?
460
00:19:57,070 --> 00:20:01,575
Well, Peter's foot and
the abalone got to me.
461
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,161
Mike, I'd feel a lot better if
we could run by the house
462
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,829
and check before
going on to the show.
463
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,706
Why don't we skip
dinner and do that?
464
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,791
-We can eat later. Yeah.
-Mmm.
465
00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:11,376
Uh, Captain.
466
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:13,378
Are you ready now, sir?
467
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:15,672
I'm afraid we've had
a change in plans,
468
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:17,507
and we can't stay.
469
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:18,967
That's perfectly all right, sir.
470
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,844
I'll bring you your check.
471
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:21,803
Check?
472
00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:24,264
But we didn't have anything.
473
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:26,516
There's the cover charge, madam.
474
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,895
And the state tax, of course.
475
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,730
But we didn't have
anything to tax.
476
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:34,816
The tax is on the
cover charge, sir.
477
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:43,116
You know, we really
shouldn't be doing this.
478
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,034
Why not?
479
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,452
Because we said we trusted them.
480
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,788
The kids will never forgive us
for checking on them.
481
00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:49,790
Yeah. Maybe you're right.
482
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,250
Honey, listen, I'm
sure they're okay.
483
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,502
Besides, they've got
the chain on the door.
484
00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:56,505
[sniffing] Mike...
I smell smoke.
485
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:59,258
Oh, that's just the
Ditmyers' barbecue.
486
00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:00,968
Well, maybe so,
487
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:03,428
but couldn't we
check just the same?
488
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,389
They're always having
those barbecues.
489
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:07,099
It'll only take a minute.
490
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:11,353
[suspenseful music playing]
491
00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:13,939
[crickets chirping]
492
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:15,440
[chair rattling]
493
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,113
Marcia, did you hear something?
494
00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:22,948
Like what?
495
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:24,157
I'm not sure.
496
00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:25,534
What was it?
497
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:45,470
Jan, get off the phone.
498
00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:47,639
I have to make
an important call.
499
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,396
[whispers]
Are you all right?
500
00:21:56,523 --> 00:22:00,444
Yes. Yes, sir, I heard it twice.
501
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,487
Thank you very much. Good-bye.
502
00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:04,323
The police are sending
a patrol car right over.
503
00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:06,116
He said there's one
right in the neighborhood.
504
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,784
You would have been quieter
505
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,328
breaking down the front door.
506
00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:12,622
Boy, you better be sure
you heard something.
507
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,584
[sniffing]
508
00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:17,419
I think you're right.
509
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:19,379
It's the Ditmyers' barbecue.
510
00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:23,967
[rustling in bushes]
511
00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:31,808
[creaking]
512
00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:36,355
[whispers] Wait here.
513
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:50,494
[screaming]
514
00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:52,162
Mr. Brady, what
are you doing here?
515
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,288
What are you doing here?
516
00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,040
[man] What are
you all doing here?
517
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:58,293
Well, you see, Officer,
518
00:22:58,335 --> 00:22:59,795
Alice here is our housekeeper.
519
00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:01,046
That's right, Sergeant.
520
00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:02,381
And you were fighting over
521
00:23:02,422 --> 00:23:04,966
who's going to vacuum
those bushes tonight?
522
00:23:05,008 --> 00:23:07,094
Oh, no. This is our house.
523
00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:09,346
You see, we thought
Alice was a prowler.
524
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,264
She was supposed
to be over at Sam's
525
00:23:11,306 --> 00:23:12,224
doing the curtains!
526
00:23:12,265 --> 00:23:13,558
I got worried about Cindy.
527
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,186
The kids are sitting
alone for the first time.
528
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:17,312
The line was busy.
529
00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:18,688
I got to worrying
about her cold.
530
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:19,898
[Carol] Right,
she's got the sniffles.
531
00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:21,066
[Mike] We skipped dinner,
532
00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:22,484
but didn't want
to miss the show.
533
00:23:22,526 --> 00:23:23,902
A friend of my husband's
gave him the tickets.
534
00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:26,321
All we wanted to
do was... check.
535
00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:28,448
[Carol] It's a
simple explanation.
536
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:29,908
We smelled smoke
in the neighbors' yard...
537
00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:32,369
[Carol] Right. The
Ditmyers' over there...
538
00:23:42,629 --> 00:23:43,713
So Alice was worried,
539
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:45,006
and came around
back like we did.
540
00:23:45,048 --> 00:23:46,425
I'm sorry I called
the police, Dad.
541
00:23:46,466 --> 00:23:48,176
No, Greg, you
did the right thing.
542
00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:49,177
Well, I just checked.
543
00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:50,220
Cindy's sound asleep,
544
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,304
and not a sign of a sniffle.
545
00:23:51,346 --> 00:23:52,889
We kept a close eye on her,
546
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,349
like we promised.
547
00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:57,144
Oh, hey, if you hurry,
you'll still have time
to catch the show.
548
00:23:57,185 --> 00:23:58,478
That's exactly
what I was thinking.
549
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,772
-Shall we, honey?
-Great idea.
550
00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:02,899
Oh, good-bye, kids.
551
00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:04,401
-[both] Good-bye.
-We won't be late.
552
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:06,403
And don't worry. We have
everything under control.
553
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:08,155
[Marcia]
And the stove is turned off,
554
00:24:08,196 --> 00:24:10,198
and we know where all
the phone numbers are.
555
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,535
We want you to have
a good time. Relax.
556
00:24:15,829 --> 00:24:18,039
You forgot to... chain the door.
557
00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:30,135
[theme music playing]
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