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1
00:00:10,716 --> 00:00:14,595
There are some friends you'll havefor the rest of your life.
2
00:00:15,756 --> 00:00:18,714
You're welded togetherby love,
3
00:00:19,476 --> 00:00:21,992
trust,respect,
4
00:00:22,517 --> 00:00:23,949
or loss.
5
00:00:24,116 --> 00:00:27,154
Or in our case,simple embarrassment.
6
00:00:34,196 --> 00:00:35,915
Stand clear of the doors.
7
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:37,635
Mind the gap.
8
00:00:49,197 --> 00:00:53,349
Let's all go down to Oxford Circus,past Trafalgar Square...
9
00:00:53,518 --> 00:00:56,270
And then from Charing Crossright up to Euston.
10
00:00:56,437 --> 00:00:59,033
Then change to the Victoria,
11
00:00:59,199 --> 00:01:02,985
then the Piccadillytakes us round to Gloucester Road,
12
00:01:03,357 --> 00:01:05,031
Kensingtonand Notting Hill Gate.
13
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:06,677
Holland Park, and Shepherds Bush.
14
00:01:06,838 --> 00:01:10,308
- Ladbroke Grove, Westbourne Park.
- Royal Oak and Paddington.
15
00:01:10,479 --> 00:01:12,116
Edgware Road and Baker Street.
16
00:01:12,278 --> 00:01:14,189
Great Portland Streetand Euston Square.
17
00:01:14,358 --> 00:01:17,474
Barbican and Aldgate Eastand change for Tower Hill.
18
00:01:17,638 --> 00:01:21,028
Fulham Broadway,heading down for Wimbledon.
19
00:01:21,238 --> 00:01:24,390
Wimbledon Park.Now we've crossed the Thames.
20
00:01:24,559 --> 00:01:27,869
Back to Earl's Courtright up to Victoria.
21
00:01:28,039 --> 00:01:29,596
Change for Green Park.
22
00:01:29,758 --> 00:01:31,908
Home in time for tea.
23
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:35,867
To check the map to findthe route to start again.
24
00:01:38,439 --> 00:01:40,270
So, after teawe're off again.
25
00:01:40,599 --> 00:01:44,194
We go through Swiss Cottageheading northward on the Jubilee.
26
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,353
We change to the Metropolitanat Finchley Road,
27
00:01:47,521 --> 00:01:50,113
which takes us roundto change at Rayner's Lane.
28
00:01:50,279 --> 00:01:52,999
- Sudbury Hill and Sudbury Town.
- Alperton and Acton Town.
29
00:01:53,159 --> 00:01:56,311
- Chiswick Park and Turnham Green.
- Stamford Brook and Ravenscourt Park.
30
00:01:56,481 --> 00:01:58,833
- Hammersmith and Barons Court.
- West Kensington and Bayswater.
31
00:01:58,999 --> 00:02:00,068
And again, Paddington...
32
00:02:00,361 --> 00:02:01,874
Then change for Maida Vale.
33
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,359
Willesden Junction.
34
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,193
Didn't notice Kensal Green.
35
00:02:05,362 --> 00:02:07,874
Watford High Street.Christ, we've gone too far.
36
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,999
Stop at Watford.Back again to Baker Street.
37
00:02:11,161 --> 00:02:13,993
King's Cross, Moorgate,Northern line to Bank.
38
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,630
And the escalator linkto Monument.
39
00:02:16,801 --> 00:02:19,634
We jump the Circleand we're going round and round
40
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,757
and round and round.
41
00:02:31,602 --> 00:02:33,193
All change!
42
00:02:38,202 --> 00:02:41,238
Perhaps we shouldn't have closed
with the Underground Song.
43
00:02:41,401 --> 00:02:44,395
Just keep thinking of the fee,
my cherubs. 500 pounds.
44
00:02:44,563 --> 00:02:47,234
- It could have been worse.
- Yes, it could have been worse.
45
00:02:47,403 --> 00:02:50,155
They could have attached
electrodes to our genitals!
46
00:02:50,322 --> 00:02:52,073
I think they enjoyed it,
in their own way.
47
00:02:52,243 --> 00:02:54,596
Yes, they're just one of those
audiences that enjoy it... later.
48
00:02:54,762 --> 00:02:56,592
They get home and think:
Yes, I rather enjoyed that.
49
00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:59,721
Should we give them our
individual telephone numbers then?
50
00:02:59,883 --> 00:03:02,193
I shall expect dozens
of phone calls saying:
51
00:03:02,364 --> 00:03:04,796
"I know I looked bored shitless
throughout the evening,
52
00:03:04,962 --> 00:03:07,556
but on reflection, Roger was right.
I had a fantastic time".
53
00:03:07,723 --> 00:03:09,361
You two are so cynical.
54
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,517
We should hire a lawyer
and sue that audience.
55
00:03:12,684 --> 00:03:14,594
- Paul enjoyed it.
- You are such a little cutie.
56
00:03:16,083 --> 00:03:18,643
Maggie, are you doing
a magic trick over there?
57
00:03:18,803 --> 00:03:19,872
Oh, Maggie!
58
00:03:20,043 --> 00:03:21,443
I have to say, Peter.
59
00:03:21,604 --> 00:03:24,753
Why did your father book us if
his friends weren't going to laugh.
60
00:03:24,922 --> 00:03:26,721
And you have to say that?
61
00:03:26,884 --> 00:03:29,078
Will you take a picture of us?
62
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:34,597
Not a photograph!
Not a photo!
63
00:03:35,803 --> 00:03:38,192
It's the last performance
we'll do together,
64
00:03:38,363 --> 00:03:41,401
and it's New Year's Eve
and I want a photograph.
65
00:03:44,964 --> 00:03:46,875
We're not students anymore.
66
00:03:47,044 --> 00:03:48,193
Thank God.
67
00:03:48,563 --> 00:03:51,032
Hurry up!
I haven't got all night!
68
00:03:51,203 --> 00:03:52,477
Smile.
69
00:03:52,643 --> 00:03:54,044
All right. Bah after three.
70
00:03:54,205 --> 00:03:55,354
Bah!
71
00:04:01,564 --> 00:04:04,795
Welcome to your life.
72
00:04:05,885 --> 00:04:08,081
There's no turning back.
73
00:04:09,725 --> 00:04:12,876
Even while we sleep,
74
00:04:13,966 --> 00:04:20,039
we will find youacting on your best behaviour.
75
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:24,035
Turn your back onMother Nature.
76
00:04:24,406 --> 00:04:28,719
Everybody wants torule the world.
77
00:04:39,086 --> 00:04:41,760
It's my own design.
78
00:04:42,726 --> 00:04:46,003
It's my own remarks.
79
00:04:46,847 --> 00:04:49,723
Help me to decide.
80
00:04:50,967 --> 00:04:56,838
Help me make the mostof freedom and of pleasure.
81
00:04:57,567 --> 00:05:00,717
Nothing ever lasts forever.
82
00:05:01,327 --> 00:05:05,799
Everybody wants torule the world.
83
00:05:05,968 --> 00:05:09,403
There's a room wherethe light won't find you.
84
00:05:10,008 --> 00:05:13,637
Holding hands while the wallscome tumbling down.
85
00:05:14,688 --> 00:05:17,599
When they do,I'll be right behind you.
86
00:05:17,967 --> 00:05:21,438
So glad we've almost made it.
87
00:05:22,128 --> 00:05:26,087
So sad they had to fade it.
88
00:05:26,248 --> 00:05:29,796
Everybody wants torule the world.
89
00:05:38,209 --> 00:05:40,439
Peter, if you're going to
stay in the house,
90
00:05:40,609 --> 00:05:43,328
I shall have to file
certain papers with the court.
91
00:05:43,489 --> 00:05:46,525
The local rating system alone
is very complicated.
92
00:05:46,690 --> 00:05:48,442
I shall need to
go through that with you.
93
00:05:48,610 --> 00:05:50,725
But to be honest with you,
Mr. Gooch,
94
00:05:50,890 --> 00:05:52,881
I'm not sure what I'm
going to do with this house.
95
00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:56,679
Your father provided generously
for Vera and Paul in his will,
96
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,722
and the part time staff
have also been taken care of.
97
00:05:59,890 --> 00:06:00,606
I know.
98
00:06:00,771 --> 00:06:02,965
Perhaps you could
rent the property out.
99
00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:05,685
I could arrange that for you.
100
00:06:05,889 --> 00:06:08,279
- Not sure.
- Or I could get a valuation done.
101
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,726
I'm sorry to be so vague,
Mr. Gooch.
102
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:16,407
But you'll be delighted to know
I've made one decision.
103
00:06:16,570 --> 00:06:17,400
What's that?
104
00:06:17,571 --> 00:06:19,368
I'm going to have a party.
105
00:06:21,891 --> 00:06:23,846
Andrew and Carol
in there, I think.
106
00:06:25,011 --> 00:06:26,921
And Maggie in there.
107
00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:30,641
Vera, if you'd be happier
leaving before the holidays...
108
00:06:30,811 --> 00:06:32,482
I'd understand completely.
109
00:06:32,650 --> 00:06:35,289
And Sarah and...
her friend in there.
110
00:06:35,531 --> 00:06:38,091
I've said I'll stay
till the first of the year.
111
00:06:38,251 --> 00:06:39,286
Roger and Mary in there.
112
00:06:39,452 --> 00:06:42,123
Which of course is lovely and
much appreciated, Vera,
113
00:06:42,290 --> 00:06:45,011
but I wish you'd please try,
as a special favour to me,
114
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:47,561
not to be quite so gothic
to my friends.
115
00:06:56,651 --> 00:06:58,804
When my bags come in...
116
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:02,286
Excuse me, but are you
who I think you are?
117
00:07:02,452 --> 00:07:04,044
I think I might be.
118
00:07:04,212 --> 00:07:06,442
- What's your name again?
- Carol Benson.
119
00:07:06,612 --> 00:07:07,522
Who?
120
00:07:08,292 --> 00:07:09,644
Carol Benson.
121
00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:12,409
- "Who's in the Kitchen?"
- What?
122
00:07:12,574 --> 00:07:15,530
It's a situation comedy.
My wife is the star.
123
00:07:15,692 --> 00:07:18,366
It's made us millions of dollars.
You must come visit us.
124
00:07:18,533 --> 00:07:19,725
I knew I knew you!
125
00:07:20,132 --> 00:07:22,442
My children watch you
on television!
126
00:07:22,613 --> 00:07:24,285
I've never seen the show myself.
127
00:07:24,452 --> 00:07:27,412
It's on at 4 in the afternoon.
I usually have things to do.
128
00:07:27,574 --> 00:07:29,962
But they love it.
It was nice to meet you.
129
00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:32,090
- Susan, was it?
- Carol.
130
00:07:32,253 --> 00:07:34,687
Well, I'll just call you
"The Kitchen Lady".
131
00:07:37,334 --> 00:07:40,689
Andrew, you know what I hate most
about being a public figure?
132
00:07:40,854 --> 00:07:42,764
The public.
That's one of mine.
133
00:07:49,014 --> 00:07:50,925
What the fuck have you got
in here, weights?
134
00:07:51,094 --> 00:07:52,322
Yes.
135
00:07:59,415 --> 00:08:02,724
Ben, please play with the tractor
that cost Daddy 40 pounds,
136
00:08:02,894 --> 00:08:04,805
not the box it came in.
137
00:08:06,173 --> 00:08:07,401
This is very important.
138
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:10,567
Every time Ben goes to sleep,
it must be switched on, all right?
139
00:08:10,736 --> 00:08:13,250
Wherever you are in the house,
you must carry this intercom.
140
00:08:13,416 --> 00:08:15,724
If he stops breathing,
an alarm will go,
141
00:08:15,894 --> 00:08:18,489
and you get to him immediately
and start resuscitation.
142
00:08:18,654 --> 00:08:20,964
- Sure you know mouth-to-mouth?
- I'm a qualified nurse.
143
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,855
Please don't worry Mrs. Anderson.
144
00:08:23,017 --> 00:08:26,132
You and your husband go
and enjoy a couple of days break.
145
00:08:26,295 --> 00:08:27,694
Everything will be fine.
146
00:08:28,415 --> 00:08:31,088
Maybe we should
take Ben with us.
147
00:08:31,575 --> 00:08:33,930
- Could you hold him, please?
- Certainly.
148
00:08:36,857 --> 00:08:39,495
Look, we haven't been out of
this house at night for 8 months.
149
00:08:39,656 --> 00:08:42,011
- Please!
- I'll worry the whole time.
150
00:08:42,176 --> 00:08:45,770
But we're expected. It'll be
great to see everyone again.
151
00:08:45,936 --> 00:08:48,245
All right, let me say goodbye
to him once more.
152
00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:52,732
Bye, sweetheart,
we'll see you in 3 days.
153
00:08:52,897 --> 00:08:53,965
All right? Mummy and Daddy
will see you in 3 days.
154
00:08:54,696 --> 00:08:57,130
I've never left him
overnight before.
155
00:08:57,576 --> 00:09:00,046
I've left pictures
of myself everywhere.
156
00:09:00,218 --> 00:09:01,696
Look, Michael.
157
00:09:01,857 --> 00:09:03,255
Maggie.
158
00:09:03,935 --> 00:09:05,495
That's supposed to help.
159
00:09:05,657 --> 00:09:08,693
I'll come in twice a day
and freshen his food and water.
160
00:09:09,098 --> 00:09:11,612
Please, don't let him
follow me into the hall,
161
00:09:11,777 --> 00:09:14,132
'cause he might try and...
run after me.
162
00:09:15,497 --> 00:09:16,770
Where is he?
163
00:09:17,177 --> 00:09:18,976
He ran into the bedroom.
164
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,252
He's putting on a brave face.
165
00:09:23,177 --> 00:09:25,294
You have my telephone number.
166
00:09:25,457 --> 00:09:27,608
Just in case you need to
get in touch.
167
00:09:27,777 --> 00:09:29,416
Please don't hesitate to call.
168
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,777
Bye, Michael.
Bye.
169
00:09:35,098 --> 00:09:36,611
Bye-bye, Michael.
170
00:09:36,818 --> 00:09:39,014
Bye.
I'm going, bye.
171
00:09:39,659 --> 00:09:41,489
Don't let him follow me,
all right?
172
00:09:41,657 --> 00:09:42,249
Bye.
173
00:09:56,298 --> 00:09:57,494
No, no, no!
174
00:09:58,219 --> 00:09:59,128
Yes!
175
00:10:27,579 --> 00:10:30,334
Sarah! Sarah!
176
00:10:30,821 --> 00:10:32,890
Sarah! It's Maggie!
177
00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:35,969
Maggie, you look wonderful!
178
00:10:37,940 --> 00:10:40,818
You must be Clive.
I've heard so much about you.
179
00:10:40,980 --> 00:10:43,735
- Actually, this is Brian.
- I meant Brian.
180
00:10:43,901 --> 00:10:46,732
I completely meant Brian.
I'm very bad with names.
181
00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:49,779
It's completely my fault.
She's talked about Brian for months.
182
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,295
We only met
a couple of weeks ago.
183
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:53,850
Congratulations!
184
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:57,737
You look very happy together.
I wonder who's picking us up.
185
00:10:57,902 --> 00:10:58,493
Hello.
186
00:10:58,662 --> 00:11:00,732
- Are you Paul?
- Yes.
187
00:11:00,901 --> 00:11:02,493
Oh, my God! Little Paul!
188
00:11:06,461 --> 00:11:08,100
What about that train!
189
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,258
How is Peter?
Is he all right?
190
00:11:20,422 --> 00:11:21,092
I guess.
191
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:24,814
- So hard losing a parent.
- I guess.
192
00:11:24,981 --> 00:11:28,577
I think this is going to have
a positive effect on Peter.
193
00:11:29,502 --> 00:11:32,257
He even sounded different
on the phone.
194
00:11:33,662 --> 00:11:34,811
More mature.
195
00:11:36,183 --> 00:11:37,696
More sturdy.
196
00:11:37,862 --> 00:11:40,171
Ready to settle down,
don't you think?
197
00:11:40,385 --> 00:11:42,214
- I guess.
- Me too.
198
00:11:42,383 --> 00:11:43,735
Peter?
199
00:11:43,902 --> 00:11:47,498
Peter's hopeless, Mags.
He's the loveliest boy in the world
200
00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:50,461
but he's never been able to hold
down a job or relationship.
201
00:11:50,624 --> 00:11:52,659
You know that.
He's hopeless.
202
00:11:52,822 --> 00:11:54,017
People change.
203
00:11:54,704 --> 00:11:56,342
Paul's certainly changed.
204
00:12:03,342 --> 00:12:07,656
I heard this extraordinary story
about Greta Garbo the other day.
205
00:12:07,824 --> 00:12:10,897
Apparently she and
Georgia O'Keefe
206
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,500
used to keep this Alsatian
that used to lick them.
207
00:12:24,865 --> 00:12:26,900
Did he?
So how many of the?
208
00:12:27,065 --> 00:12:28,293
Oh, right.
209
00:12:28,465 --> 00:12:30,341
Yes, well you make sure that...
210
00:12:30,504 --> 00:12:32,460
Yeah, okay then.
211
00:12:32,945 --> 00:12:34,138
Yes, you are right.
212
00:12:34,305 --> 00:12:36,659
Look, I'll phone
as soon as we get there.
213
00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:39,136
To see if everything's all right
Thanks a lot. Bye.
214
00:12:50,384 --> 00:12:51,785
Fucking hell!
215
00:13:06,347 --> 00:13:07,381
Look at you!
216
00:13:08,106 --> 00:13:09,618
Look at you!
217
00:13:09,785 --> 00:13:12,220
Mr. California!
218
00:13:12,387 --> 00:13:13,535
Hello, my darling!
219
00:13:13,706 --> 00:13:15,777
- Did you bring a surfboard?
- No, that's just Carol.
220
00:13:15,947 --> 00:13:17,583
Ignore him.
He's a monster.
221
00:13:17,745 --> 00:13:19,098
Carol, it's joyful gorgeousity.
222
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:21,735
- What's all this, then?
- It's called a pot belly, Andrew.
223
00:13:21,907 --> 00:13:24,468
We have those in England,
along with culture.
224
00:13:24,627 --> 00:13:26,821
- Be careful with everything.
- Yes, ma'am.
225
00:13:29,427 --> 00:13:31,065
You look great!
226
00:13:31,226 --> 00:13:32,945
Miss Benson... sorry...
227
00:13:33,106 --> 00:13:35,702
I heard you were going to be here.
I'm a really big fan.
228
00:13:35,867 --> 00:13:38,428
Thank you, just grab something
from the trunk and follow them.
229
00:13:38,828 --> 00:13:41,661
- Mags, old girl!
- Peter!
230
00:13:43,868 --> 00:13:46,427
Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter!
231
00:13:47,708 --> 00:13:49,539
We've just got the 3 days, Maggie.
232
00:13:49,708 --> 00:13:52,176
It would be nice to make it
into the house at some stage.
233
00:13:52,348 --> 00:13:53,463
Roger and Mary!
234
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,496
Andrew!
235
00:13:56,667 --> 00:13:59,057
I'm going inside
to grab the best room.
236
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:00,900
Of course you are,
my darling.
237
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,426
Excuse me.
Are those heavy enough for you?
238
00:14:05,468 --> 00:14:07,266
Hello.
Could I?
239
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,426
Hello, Andrew.
240
00:14:10,268 --> 00:14:11,224
How are you?
241
00:14:11,390 --> 00:14:13,696
Could I be a terrible bore
and use your phone?
242
00:14:13,868 --> 00:14:14,903
Yes, of course.
243
00:14:15,068 --> 00:14:16,343
- Well, come on then.
- Yes.
244
00:14:42,270 --> 00:14:44,739
Thank you all very much.
I'm very grateful.
245
00:14:44,911 --> 00:14:46,707
- Thank you.
- Thank you madam.
246
00:14:46,871 --> 00:14:48,098
- Thank you.
- Ta.
247
00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:50,545
- Thank you.
- No, actually, I'm a guest.
248
00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:51,779
- A guest?
- Yeah.
249
00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:54,419
- Then why did you carry my bags?
- I don't know.
250
00:15:00,271 --> 00:15:02,864
Can you tell me which room
my girlfriend's in?
251
00:15:03,031 --> 00:15:05,022
- Does she have a name?
- Sorry. Sarah.
252
00:15:05,191 --> 00:15:06,942
She's in that room.
253
00:15:07,111 --> 00:15:09,706
- Everything all right, Vera?
- Not enough towels.
254
00:15:11,191 --> 00:15:14,946
Andrew, you should see our room.
It is to die for!
255
00:15:15,312 --> 00:15:16,187
My wife.
256
00:15:18,393 --> 00:15:19,268
Sarah.
257
00:15:22,112 --> 00:15:23,066
Sarah?
258
00:15:26,713 --> 00:15:27,906
Sarah?
259
00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:41,704
Look at this armoire!
Is it real?
260
00:15:41,873 --> 00:15:42,861
No, it's imaginary.
261
00:15:44,912 --> 00:15:46,062
Whose are these?
262
00:15:46,874 --> 00:15:49,340
I'm afraid there's been
a bit of misunderstanding.
263
00:15:49,512 --> 00:15:52,744
Those are my suits.
This is my room.
264
00:15:55,394 --> 00:15:57,587
I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me.
265
00:15:57,752 --> 00:16:01,269
No, no that's quite all right.
Yours is next door.
266
00:16:01,434 --> 00:16:02,946
Is it as nice as this one?
267
00:16:04,273 --> 00:16:05,501
Well...
268
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,185
I am kidding.
269
00:16:07,352 --> 00:16:10,629
If this were my house,
I'd want the best room.
270
00:16:11,035 --> 00:16:13,228
Andrew... bags.
271
00:16:16,153 --> 00:16:17,983
She's fun when she's asleep.
272
00:16:18,152 --> 00:16:19,906
- I heard that.
- Thank you, darling.
273
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:45,823
Tidings of comfort and joy,
274
00:16:46,114 --> 00:16:47,867
comfort and joy.
275
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:52,390
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.
276
00:16:56,756 --> 00:16:58,950
Brenda says everything is fine.
277
00:16:59,115 --> 00:16:59,831
Good.
278
00:17:00,114 --> 00:17:03,028
He had a bottle and
a whole jar of apple sauce.
279
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:06,393
Good, probably no need
to call tomorrow then.
280
00:17:06,556 --> 00:17:09,195
Are you saying
I'm ringing too often?
281
00:17:09,356 --> 00:17:11,154
I can't help it if
I'm concerned about my baby.
282
00:17:11,317 --> 00:17:13,351
Are you saying
I'm not concerned?
283
00:17:13,515 --> 00:17:16,189
Because I don't ring every 2 seconds
doesn't mean I'm not concerned.
284
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,953
Hello you two.
Got everything you need?
285
00:17:20,117 --> 00:17:21,630
Yeah, fine thanks.
286
00:17:21,797 --> 00:17:22,991
Towels, spoons?
287
00:17:23,156 --> 00:17:24,795
Heaps of spoons.
288
00:17:25,756 --> 00:17:28,031
- Mary?
- Fine, thanks.
289
00:17:29,237 --> 00:17:31,307
It's good to get away, actually.
290
00:17:31,595 --> 00:17:34,556
I'm sorry I haven't seen
either of you since...
291
00:17:36,277 --> 00:17:37,552
No, don't be silly.
292
00:17:37,717 --> 00:17:40,470
This is the first time we've
been out since it happened.
293
00:17:41,236 --> 00:17:44,786
- Ben's all right though?
- Yes, Ben is very bonny.
294
00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:47,989
So, all you've got to worry about
are murderers and perverts.
295
00:17:48,919 --> 00:17:49,873
Quite.
296
00:17:50,757 --> 00:17:53,954
I'll see you both downstairs
at 7, if that's all right.
297
00:17:58,118 --> 00:17:59,517
Peter,
298
00:18:00,756 --> 00:18:02,953
we were very sorry
to hear about your father.
299
00:18:03,118 --> 00:18:03,914
Thank you.
300
00:18:05,838 --> 00:18:08,875
- Thanks for inviting us down.
- Tish tosh, nonsense!
301
00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:11,153
Wouldn't work if
you two lovelies weren't here.
302
00:18:11,719 --> 00:18:14,073
Well, I'll see you both downstairs.
303
00:18:23,918 --> 00:18:27,468
I could feel the cellulite
building up on the plane.
304
00:18:27,639 --> 00:18:30,871
I wonder if any airlines
have planes with gyms?
305
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,030
I was going to suggest
we flew Gym Air,
306
00:18:33,198 --> 00:18:35,588
but I thought you'd prefer
a plane with a seat.
307
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,988
A gym on a plane
is a good idea.
308
00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:39,956
And that's what
makes you, you, darling.
309
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,029
You promised you'd be
nicer to me on this trip.
310
00:18:42,199 --> 00:18:43,791
Because I thought we were
getting away from it all.
311
00:18:43,959 --> 00:18:46,191
I didn't realise
you'd bring it all with you.
312
00:18:46,361 --> 00:18:48,349
You'd love me less
if I were fat.
313
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,630
I think I'll take a walk.
314
00:19:07,919 --> 00:19:09,558
Hiya, sexy.
315
00:19:21,441 --> 00:19:24,558
Hello. Just came to see
you're doing this properly.
316
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,993
Oh, no!
You're doing it all wrong.
317
00:19:28,161 --> 00:19:29,356
Now I'll have to help you.
318
00:19:30,722 --> 00:19:32,758
So, do you have wood
in Los Angeles?
319
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,990
- We have Hollywood.
- Now, now. Stop it.
320
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,959
- I don't want to tell you again.
- Sorry.
321
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,516
I got your letter.
322
00:19:42,642 --> 00:19:45,154
Thank you.
It meant a great deal to me.
323
00:19:46,122 --> 00:19:48,396
My father was very fond of you.
324
00:19:49,642 --> 00:19:51,553
I was fond of him.
325
00:19:51,922 --> 00:19:54,639
Well, you understood him better.
I wasted him.
326
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,155
- No.
- Yes, I did.
327
00:19:57,323 --> 00:19:58,357
It's funny.
328
00:19:59,602 --> 00:20:01,991
With both my parents gone,
I suddenly...
329
00:20:02,163 --> 00:20:04,722
have this overwhelming urge
to act maturely.
330
00:20:04,883 --> 00:20:06,520
I don't think
anyone really matures.
331
00:20:06,682 --> 00:20:09,480
Adults are just children
who owe money.
332
00:20:09,684 --> 00:20:10,594
Come on.
333
00:20:11,803 --> 00:20:12,917
One more?
334
00:20:13,082 --> 00:20:13,958
Okay.
335
00:20:16,163 --> 00:20:18,960
Strange about Father.
336
00:20:20,004 --> 00:20:24,202
We fought each other for years
and now, I miss him.
337
00:20:24,364 --> 00:20:26,036
Well of course you do, Peter.
338
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:31,521
So all this is yours now,
Eh, your lordshipful?
339
00:20:31,683 --> 00:20:34,641
Kneel when you say that kindly.
340
00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:37,834
Doesn't Sarah look good still?
341
00:20:38,005 --> 00:20:39,233
- Very fruity.
- Yes.
342
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,315
Maggie's still Maggie,
of course.
343
00:20:42,564 --> 00:20:45,875
Roger and Mary seem
to be holding up okay.
344
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:47,603
I suppose so.
345
00:20:47,765 --> 00:20:50,561
- Horrid thing to have to go through.
- Absolutely.
346
00:20:50,723 --> 00:20:53,716
I think if there is a God,
he takes a lot of long lunches.
347
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,765
- Are you all right?
- Yes, it is...
348
00:21:00,923 --> 00:21:03,199
- Oh, uh yourself.
- How is everything out there?
349
00:21:03,364 --> 00:21:06,278
You know, Carol and I have
an obscene amount of money.
350
00:21:06,446 --> 00:21:08,720
- How long have you been married?
- Almost three years.
351
00:21:08,885 --> 00:21:10,159
That's quite long time
for Hollywood, isn't it?
352
00:21:10,324 --> 00:21:11,314
You get some kind of plaque?
353
00:21:11,525 --> 00:21:14,437
If we stay together for 5 years
I get free hair transplants,
354
00:21:14,605 --> 00:21:16,038
and she gets a new set of breasts.
355
00:21:16,205 --> 00:21:18,161
- What? So she'll have 4?
- Yes, but her agent gets one.
356
00:21:18,325 --> 00:21:18,915
No, no stop it!
357
00:21:19,085 --> 00:21:21,805
You fell for that.
I didn't think you would.
358
00:21:25,007 --> 00:21:27,237
Is that cream you're putting in that?
359
00:21:27,406 --> 00:21:29,076
- Are you making any without cream?
- No.
360
00:21:29,244 --> 00:21:30,200
I can't have cream.
361
00:21:30,366 --> 00:21:32,926
- Then you'd better not eat any.
- What's that I smell?
362
00:21:33,086 --> 00:21:34,520
That's what we're
having for dinner.
363
00:21:34,687 --> 00:21:37,962
Cream of mushroom soup,
roast beef and Yorkshire pudding,
364
00:21:38,125 --> 00:21:40,846
buttered carrots, sprouts, parsnips,
mashed potatoes and trifle.
365
00:21:41,007 --> 00:21:42,439
Should I send for the ambulance?
366
00:21:42,606 --> 00:21:45,360
Lord Malton drew up the menu.
You'll have to talk to him.
367
00:21:45,527 --> 00:21:48,562
Why don't you make me
a baked potato, steam a few carrots
368
00:21:48,727 --> 00:21:50,445
and broil me a piece of chicken
without the skin?
369
00:21:50,607 --> 00:21:52,962
Why don't you go down to the shop,
buy whatever it is that you want
370
00:21:53,127 --> 00:21:54,243
and cook your self?
371
00:21:54,407 --> 00:21:56,522
Did you never see
"Upstairs, Downstairs"?
372
00:22:03,728 --> 00:22:06,116
So, how's the world
of publishing?
373
00:22:06,487 --> 00:22:08,205
Fine,
very busy.
374
00:22:09,128 --> 00:22:11,243
Any news
on the boyfriend front?
375
00:22:12,168 --> 00:22:13,919
I was kind of seeing someone.
376
00:22:16,567 --> 00:22:17,795
An author.
377
00:22:18,368 --> 00:22:19,960
And what happened?
378
00:22:21,208 --> 00:22:22,800
He committed suicide.
379
00:22:23,329 --> 00:22:26,285
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- It's all right,
380
00:22:26,448 --> 00:22:27,517
honestly, really.
381
00:22:28,367 --> 00:22:30,518
I didn't really like him
very much.
382
00:22:31,769 --> 00:22:34,759
I liked him even less
after he committed suicide.
383
00:22:36,049 --> 00:22:37,721
How did he do it?
384
00:22:38,728 --> 00:22:40,880
Threw himself off a building.
385
00:22:43,767 --> 00:22:45,965
He couldn't even do that properly.
386
00:22:46,370 --> 00:22:48,439
It was only a 3 storey building.
387
00:22:48,889 --> 00:22:50,687
He would have survived,
388
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:54,404
only a car ran him over.
389
00:22:56,328 --> 00:22:59,126
- It's not funny.
- It is slightly funny, Maggie.
390
00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:03,047
I suppose so.
Yes it is slightly funny.
391
00:23:03,888 --> 00:23:05,767
What sort of books did he write?
392
00:23:05,929 --> 00:23:08,444
- Self-help.
- Of course.
393
00:23:10,210 --> 00:23:11,483
Oh, sorry.
394
00:23:12,289 --> 00:23:13,404
Actually,
395
00:23:14,131 --> 00:23:17,644
we've just published
a new self-help book,
396
00:23:17,810 --> 00:23:20,608
called
"You Already Know your Mate"
397
00:23:20,769 --> 00:23:22,327
That sound reasonable.
398
00:23:22,650 --> 00:23:25,801
It's about how sometimes
you know someone
399
00:23:27,409 --> 00:23:29,720
and who you should be married to...
400
00:23:29,891 --> 00:23:33,087
but you don't think of him
as marriage potential.
401
00:23:33,611 --> 00:23:35,647
Because, you know,
he's your friend.
402
00:23:35,810 --> 00:23:38,768
But, Mags, I'm sorry to break
your heart, but I am taken.
403
00:23:40,329 --> 00:23:41,969
Not you, Andrew?
404
00:23:44,931 --> 00:23:45,886
Peter.
405
00:23:46,171 --> 00:23:48,686
Peter? Oh, Mags...
406
00:23:48,931 --> 00:23:51,809
Peter's never been very
interested in women.
407
00:23:52,771 --> 00:23:55,365
- He's definitely gay then, is he?
- I don't know.
408
00:23:55,531 --> 00:23:56,886
Well you're his best friend.
409
00:23:57,052 --> 00:24:00,360
But I haven't seen him for 4 years.
We haven't discussed it.
410
00:24:00,530 --> 00:24:03,330
I don't think he's very
interested in men either.
411
00:24:03,691 --> 00:24:06,205
And that's the point, I don't think
he's a very interested, full stop.
412
00:24:08,491 --> 00:24:11,802
I think it's just because he hasn't
met the right woman.
413
00:24:13,132 --> 00:24:14,121
Or rather...
414
00:24:14,893 --> 00:24:18,804
he hasn't realised that he has
met the right woman.
415
00:24:19,572 --> 00:24:21,768
But he hasn't realised it.
416
00:24:42,493 --> 00:24:45,484
Got a wife and kidsin Baltimore, Jack.
417
00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:49,566
I went out for a rideand I never went back.
418
00:24:50,773 --> 00:24:53,971
Like a river that don't knowwhere it's flowing.
419
00:24:54,854 --> 00:24:58,290
I took a wrong turnand I just can't go home.
420
00:24:58,935 --> 00:25:02,245
Everybody's gota hungry heart.
421
00:25:03,214 --> 00:25:06,603
Everybody's gota hungry heart.
422
00:25:07,335 --> 00:25:10,724
Lay down your moneyand you play your part.
423
00:25:11,695 --> 00:25:15,972
Everybody's got a
hungry heart.
424
00:25:24,095 --> 00:25:27,212
I met her in a Kingstown bar.
425
00:25:28,255 --> 00:25:31,646
We fell in love,I knew it had to end.
426
00:25:32,295 --> 00:25:35,766
We took what we hadand we ripped it apart.
427
00:25:36,696 --> 00:25:40,133
Now here I am down inKingstown again.
428
00:25:40,976 --> 00:25:44,092
Everybody's gota hungry heart.
429
00:26:02,016 --> 00:26:03,655
You look sensational.
430
00:26:05,777 --> 00:26:07,096
You look very nice too, Sarah.
431
00:26:07,256 --> 00:26:09,612
Do you want us to sit anywhere
in particular?
432
00:26:09,777 --> 00:26:11,572
Wherever you like. Just make
sure you face the table.
433
00:26:13,577 --> 00:26:15,373
- Good evenings darlings.
- Hello.
434
00:26:15,857 --> 00:26:18,816
Carol will be down in a minute.
She's just gluing her hair on.
435
00:26:19,458 --> 00:26:20,606
All right if I sit here?
436
00:26:20,777 --> 00:26:22,654
- Maggie.
- Hello.
437
00:26:24,017 --> 00:26:25,689
Can I talk to you
for just a minute?
438
00:26:26,657 --> 00:26:27,568
Oh, certainly.
439
00:26:30,176 --> 00:26:31,736
I don't know what this about,
440
00:26:31,899 --> 00:26:35,572
but if something's hanging out my nose
and no-one's told me, it's trouble.
441
00:26:37,779 --> 00:26:39,813
I need to sit next to Peter.
442
00:26:43,418 --> 00:26:45,854
Look...
443
00:26:46,020 --> 00:26:49,727
Why don't we go boy, girl,
boy... Maggie, yeah?
444
00:26:50,097 --> 00:26:51,087
Yes.
445
00:26:53,338 --> 00:26:54,657
You look lovely.
446
00:27:06,019 --> 00:27:08,737
... Greta Garbo and Georgia O'Keefe.
447
00:27:10,059 --> 00:27:14,179
And they used to keep this
Alsatian that used to lick them.
448
00:27:19,019 --> 00:27:20,055
What's wrong with him?
449
00:27:21,819 --> 00:27:22,774
Why?
450
00:27:25,460 --> 00:27:27,814
- Evening all.
- Hello.
451
00:27:28,660 --> 00:27:30,651
Does this bother anyone?
I'll put it out.
452
00:27:33,740 --> 00:27:35,093
Oh, my Goodness!
453
00:27:35,900 --> 00:27:39,131
Oh, this? This is a just
something very expensive.
454
00:27:41,259 --> 00:27:43,616
Peter, this house is gorgeous.
455
00:27:43,781 --> 00:27:46,009
I wanted to buy an English mansion
in Bel Air,
456
00:27:46,179 --> 00:27:49,696
but Andrew said it was vulgar.
457
00:27:49,861 --> 00:27:51,498
It was just like this,
only brand new.
458
00:27:51,660 --> 00:27:54,094
Excuse me.
Could you put that out, please?
459
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:57,490
Carol, I think you've met
everyone.
460
00:27:57,662 --> 00:27:59,175
Peter of course you know.
Maggie.
461
00:27:59,541 --> 00:28:01,772
Sarah, Roger and...
462
00:28:02,061 --> 00:28:03,618
- I want to say Ebenezer...
- Brian.
463
00:28:03,780 --> 00:28:07,297
Brian, I'm so sorry. Brian's such
a close second behind Ebenezer.
464
00:28:07,621 --> 00:28:08,497
Hello, everybody.
465
00:28:08,660 --> 00:28:10,733
I've met Brian.
I'm surprised you're here.
466
00:28:10,902 --> 00:28:13,335
I thought you'd be
carrying bags somewhere.
467
00:28:16,662 --> 00:28:19,619
- What does she mean?
- It's all right, a private joke.
468
00:28:24,222 --> 00:28:26,896
- Hi, I'm Carol.
- Carol who took our Andrew away.
469
00:28:27,063 --> 00:28:29,098
Would you like him back?
It can be arranged.
470
00:28:30,903 --> 00:28:32,095
Everything's fine at home.
471
00:28:32,622 --> 00:28:33,576
I know.
472
00:28:36,062 --> 00:28:38,897
Paul, would you be a blessed poppet
and wine everybody up?
473
00:28:40,504 --> 00:28:42,652
Well, I'd just like to say...
474
00:28:42,823 --> 00:28:44,814
before the festivities begin.
475
00:28:45,063 --> 00:28:45,973
Just a little.
476
00:28:46,143 --> 00:28:49,180
I haven't had alcohol since I was
pregnant with the twins.
477
00:28:50,383 --> 00:28:51,497
I'd just like to...
478
00:28:51,662 --> 00:28:54,178
None for me and none for him.
We are A.A.
479
00:28:55,543 --> 00:28:57,694
- Yes, well, I'd say, and intend to...
- Sorry.
480
00:28:57,864 --> 00:28:59,217
Red, thanks.
481
00:29:01,703 --> 00:29:03,820
- Yes well, you...
- White for me, please.
482
00:29:03,983 --> 00:29:04,574
I'm sorry.
483
00:29:05,342 --> 00:29:06,298
No, really...
484
00:29:06,463 --> 00:29:08,182
All I wanted to say...
485
00:29:08,784 --> 00:29:11,661
was what I can think of
no finer, fluffier,
486
00:29:12,104 --> 00:29:14,572
shiner people
487
00:29:14,783 --> 00:29:17,743
to see the New Year in with
your good selves.
488
00:29:18,104 --> 00:29:21,461
And I'd like you all to raise
your glasses...
489
00:29:23,704 --> 00:29:27,015
to old friends who should see
each other more often.
490
00:29:27,346 --> 00:29:29,652
- To old friends
- And their wives.
491
00:29:29,824 --> 00:29:31,052
And their wives.
492
00:29:41,306 --> 00:29:44,298
I warn you girls,
it is swimming in cream.
493
00:29:44,545 --> 00:29:46,821
Don't get me wrong.
494
00:29:49,105 --> 00:29:51,700
If I'm looking kind of dazzled.
495
00:29:53,986 --> 00:29:56,783
I see neon lights.
496
00:29:58,225 --> 00:30:00,864
Whenever you walk by.
497
00:30:02,625 --> 00:30:04,902
Don't get me wrong.
498
00:30:07,226 --> 00:30:10,104
If I split life like a fruitcake.
499
00:30:11,946 --> 00:30:14,665
I'm only after one thing.
500
00:30:16,545 --> 00:30:19,345
Across the moonlit night.
501
00:30:22,227 --> 00:30:23,581
Once in a while...
502
00:30:24,387 --> 00:30:26,023
two people meet,
503
00:30:27,146 --> 00:30:30,104
pass on the street.
504
00:30:31,706 --> 00:30:32,936
Suddenly thunder...
505
00:30:33,507 --> 00:30:35,304
showers everywhere.
506
00:30:35,587 --> 00:30:37,703
Who can explainthe thunder and rain,
507
00:30:37,867 --> 00:30:40,335
but there's something in the air.
508
00:30:47,429 --> 00:30:48,543
Delicious.
509
00:30:50,228 --> 00:30:52,617
So, Carol,
tell me all about Hollywood.
510
00:30:52,788 --> 00:30:54,698
There's nothing to tell, really.
511
00:30:54,867 --> 00:30:56,984
It's a factory town, like Detroit.
512
00:30:57,148 --> 00:31:00,219
Hollywood is a community that
churns out entertainment.
513
00:31:00,389 --> 00:31:03,664
Can I just say that I love
"Who's in The Kitchen?"
514
00:31:03,828 --> 00:31:05,387
Thank you very much.
515
00:31:06,028 --> 00:31:08,588
I'm embarrassed to say
I haven't seen it, sorry.
516
00:31:08,748 --> 00:31:10,740
I haven't had a chance
to watch it yet either.
517
00:31:10,909 --> 00:31:12,340
- When's it on?
- It's on at four.
518
00:31:12,508 --> 00:31:14,659
I'm glad none of you have seen it.
Because it's shit.
519
00:31:14,830 --> 00:31:15,899
It's not shit.
520
00:31:16,069 --> 00:31:17,707
It's shit with a capital "sh".
521
00:31:17,869 --> 00:31:20,065
It's number 3 in the ratings.
522
00:31:20,389 --> 00:31:22,856
I was interested to hear you
describe Hollywood
523
00:31:23,028 --> 00:31:24,621
as a community, Carol.
524
00:31:24,789 --> 00:31:27,747
I mean all those high fences,
and security patrols and...
525
00:31:27,909 --> 00:31:30,266
nobody ever talking
to each other.
526
00:31:30,430 --> 00:31:32,818
I was reminded of that remark
by Chesterton.
527
00:31:32,989 --> 00:31:34,820
"A truly adventurous person
528
00:31:34,990 --> 00:31:37,264
wouldn't cross the globe
or climb mountains.
529
00:31:37,430 --> 00:31:39,705
He'd just jump over
the his neighbour's fence".
530
00:31:39,870 --> 00:31:43,260
The real test of
an individual's character
531
00:31:43,430 --> 00:31:45,944
is to be dropped down
a random chimney...
532
00:31:46,109 --> 00:31:49,148
and to be able to get on with the set
of people he finds there.
533
00:31:49,310 --> 00:31:52,062
If you think about it, that's what
happens to us when we're born.
534
00:31:52,230 --> 00:31:55,427
We have to get on with
the strangers we find there.
535
00:31:55,590 --> 00:31:57,867
Isn't typical of Chesterton
thought to describe a...
536
00:31:58,032 --> 00:32:00,225
chimney as a kind of uterus.
537
00:32:00,390 --> 00:32:02,142
Typical, it's really typical.
538
00:32:04,590 --> 00:32:05,739
Sarah...
539
00:32:06,230 --> 00:32:09,028
Would you like a special
room set aside or something?
540
00:32:09,190 --> 00:32:10,623
I'm sorry.
541
00:32:11,472 --> 00:32:15,259
We haven't been together long.
Sometimes we get carried away.
542
00:32:16,192 --> 00:32:17,749
That's very romantic.
543
00:32:17,912 --> 00:32:21,824
The first time we fucked
each other was in a phone box.
544
00:32:26,073 --> 00:32:29,382
Brian is in the production of
"Cherry Orchard" I'm costuming.
545
00:32:29,550 --> 00:32:32,225
And it is not a patch on
"Who's in The Kitchen".
546
00:32:32,392 --> 00:32:35,190
Actually, I based it on
the "The Cherry Orchard".
547
00:32:35,352 --> 00:32:36,387
Extraordinary coincidence.
548
00:32:36,553 --> 00:32:38,985
- Can I just make a phone call?
- Of course.
549
00:32:40,713 --> 00:32:41,906
Sorry.
550
00:32:43,552 --> 00:32:46,226
- How is everything, Rog?
- Well, it's...
551
00:32:46,392 --> 00:32:48,143
So Rog, what do you do?
552
00:32:48,311 --> 00:32:50,428
I'm a jingle writer.
553
00:32:50,592 --> 00:32:53,310
Those funny little tunes
at the end of commercials?
554
00:32:53,674 --> 00:32:56,140
Actually,
Roger and Mary are
555
00:32:56,312 --> 00:32:59,146
the number one jingle writers
in England, Brian.
556
00:32:59,313 --> 00:33:00,268
- Really?
- Yes.
557
00:33:00,432 --> 00:33:02,707
- No, not number one.
- Isn't that brilliant?
558
00:33:02,872 --> 00:33:05,023
What are you
working on now?
559
00:33:05,193 --> 00:33:06,784
Is it, you know, top secret?
560
00:33:06,952 --> 00:33:09,308
It's a new coffee campaign.
561
00:33:09,473 --> 00:33:11,384
Can you sing it for us?
562
00:33:11,553 --> 00:33:12,907
- Sing it for us now.
- No, no.
563
00:33:13,074 --> 00:33:15,303
Please, go on.
All right then.
564
00:33:15,473 --> 00:33:16,986
I'll do one.
565
00:33:17,154 --> 00:33:19,508
So name me a product.
566
00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:22,905
Oh right, I'll tell you what,
I'll do an airline.
567
00:33:23,234 --> 00:33:24,349
Fine, right,
here we go.
568
00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:27,790
Fly high.
569
00:33:30,234 --> 00:33:31,952
Fly with us.
570
00:33:33,354 --> 00:33:34,626
Come on, that's all right.
571
00:33:34,793 --> 00:33:37,593
Have to work on it a bit
to get it to rhyme, but it's okay.
572
00:33:37,755 --> 00:33:41,111
So how much would you make
for doing one of those?
573
00:33:41,475 --> 00:33:42,623
I make a living.
574
00:33:42,795 --> 00:33:45,023
Did you always want to be
a jingle writer?
575
00:33:45,194 --> 00:33:47,071
- No, but...
- I always wanted to be an actor.
576
00:33:47,234 --> 00:33:48,064
Did you?
577
00:33:48,234 --> 00:33:49,906
It's terribly funny.
578
00:33:50,076 --> 00:33:52,463
You are not at all the way
I thought you'd be.
579
00:33:52,634 --> 00:33:54,306
'Cause you seem really nice.
580
00:33:54,474 --> 00:33:56,750
And from everything I've read
about you in the newspapers,
581
00:33:56,915 --> 00:33:57,950
I thought you'd be...
582
00:34:00,395 --> 00:34:01,351
other.
583
00:34:03,114 --> 00:34:04,231
Other?
584
00:34:05,556 --> 00:34:07,193
Everything's fine.
585
00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:09,986
Just hearing about your
jingle writing.
586
00:34:10,155 --> 00:34:13,865
How do you do that,
a career and twins?
587
00:34:14,036 --> 00:34:15,947
In fact I was going to ask you...
588
00:34:16,116 --> 00:34:19,074
whether you use your twins
in your commercials?
589
00:34:19,237 --> 00:34:21,305
I know very often in
the movies they do use twins.
590
00:34:21,475 --> 00:34:24,468
Like when one twin
starts to go off...
591
00:34:24,797 --> 00:34:26,388
- they just bring in the other one.
- Brian!
592
00:34:29,717 --> 00:34:30,943
Excuse me.
593
00:34:37,397 --> 00:34:38,830
Sorry, what?
594
00:34:40,117 --> 00:34:41,868
One of our twins died.
595
00:34:48,278 --> 00:34:51,188
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
596
00:34:53,397 --> 00:34:55,706
It's not like me to put
my foot in it.
597
00:34:58,516 --> 00:35:00,074
I've got it,
598
00:35:00,357 --> 00:35:01,393
Listen...
599
00:35:01,757 --> 00:35:03,828
Fly high.
600
00:35:04,078 --> 00:35:06,751
Fly with me
and happy you'll be.
601
00:35:11,718 --> 00:35:13,833
How much would
I get paid for that?
602
00:35:13,997 --> 00:35:16,593
Somewhere in the region
of 12 millions pounds.
603
00:35:17,478 --> 00:35:19,868
Oh, Vera, that looks delicious.
What are they?
604
00:35:20,038 --> 00:35:22,269
"Petit Fours".
My very own recipe.
605
00:35:22,438 --> 00:35:24,794
None for me thank you.
Four's my unlucky number.
606
00:35:24,959 --> 00:35:26,516
Do you have "Petit Fives"?
607
00:35:26,797 --> 00:35:28,231
It's a joke.
608
00:35:28,397 --> 00:35:31,037
- Do you have any fresh fruit?
- Yes, it's in the kitchen.
609
00:35:32,159 --> 00:35:33,831
That could be really good, Carol.
610
00:35:33,999 --> 00:35:37,229
If you went in the kitchen
and you dropped something...
611
00:35:37,679 --> 00:35:40,147
you made a noise, then
we could say...
612
00:35:40,319 --> 00:35:41,877
"Who's in the kitchen?"
613
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:02,354
I thought now would be
a good time,
614
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,874
to get out the presents.
615
00:36:05,039 --> 00:36:06,551
Sarah and Brian...
616
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:08,676
I'm sorry, Maggie.
I didn't get you anything.
617
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:10,956
I didn't get anyone else
anything either.
618
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,794
Mags, Christmas was last week.
619
00:36:13,961 --> 00:36:16,475
Well you know, call them
New Year presents.
620
00:36:16,641 --> 00:36:18,437
Well New Year's Eve's
tomorrow, Maggie.
621
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,196
Is this an English tradition
I don't know about?
622
00:36:21,361 --> 00:36:23,669
We always celebrate
December 30th.
623
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,117
They're only little.
Don't make such a fuss.
624
00:36:26,282 --> 00:36:28,237
We didn't get you anything.
625
00:36:29,721 --> 00:36:31,871
Look just take
the fucking presents.
626
00:36:48,801 --> 00:36:50,520
- Shall I get that?
- No.
627
00:36:51,322 --> 00:36:52,959
It'll be for Peter.
Leave it.
628
00:36:56,083 --> 00:36:57,151
I can't.
629
00:36:59,083 --> 00:37:02,596
Look, it's a naughty book.
"Erotic Eastern Art".
630
00:37:02,761 --> 00:37:03,558
Yeah.
631
00:37:06,443 --> 00:37:07,318
Yeah?
632
00:37:07,721 --> 00:37:09,441
Maggie's fine?
633
00:37:10,203 --> 00:37:11,476
Bit embarrassed.
634
00:37:12,202 --> 00:37:13,716
Don't mention it.
635
00:37:14,603 --> 00:37:16,161
Who was that on the phone?
636
00:37:16,323 --> 00:37:18,837
Mary got it. She thought it
might be the babysitter.
637
00:37:22,241 --> 00:37:23,995
Brian, it's for you.
638
00:37:25,123 --> 00:37:26,556
It's your wife.
639
00:37:29,722 --> 00:37:30,917
Christ!
640
00:37:39,043 --> 00:37:41,240
Oh, Maggie!
641
00:37:41,405 --> 00:37:44,043
- Thanks.
- Maggie, this is lovely.
642
00:37:44,684 --> 00:37:47,437
So, Catch of the Day
is married, is he?
643
00:37:47,603 --> 00:37:49,753
Who?
Brian, married?
644
00:37:49,923 --> 00:37:52,119
Not really.
He wants to divorce her.
645
00:37:52,284 --> 00:37:54,276
He left her one
before he met me,
646
00:37:54,445 --> 00:37:55,672
for a whole weekend.
647
00:37:57,125 --> 00:37:58,239
They don't sleep together.
648
00:37:59,483 --> 00:38:00,679
They don't.
649
00:38:00,885 --> 00:38:03,761
He was going to tell her, but didn't
want to spoil Christmas for the kid.
650
00:38:03,924 --> 00:38:05,881
- They've got a kid?
- A little boy.
651
00:38:06,045 --> 00:38:08,512
That's why he didn't leave her
years ago. For Nicholas' shake.
652
00:38:08,684 --> 00:38:10,324
Sarah!
653
00:38:10,725 --> 00:38:12,443
I don't know how she
found out he was here.
654
00:38:12,604 --> 00:38:14,676
She thinks he's rehearsing
in Reading.
655
00:38:14,846 --> 00:38:16,721
Don't you think
we look great together?
656
00:38:17,524 --> 00:38:19,164
You never change, do you?
657
00:38:19,326 --> 00:38:20,395
What do you mean?
658
00:38:20,565 --> 00:38:22,521
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not condemning you.
659
00:38:22,685 --> 00:38:24,324
I hope it works out.
660
00:38:24,486 --> 00:38:25,805
I just don't know
where you find the energy.
661
00:38:26,365 --> 00:38:27,878
I can barely get round
the supermarket.
662
00:38:30,325 --> 00:38:32,600
- It'll work out.
- Well, I hope so.
663
00:38:32,765 --> 00:38:35,235
This one's different.
He really loves me.
664
00:38:35,406 --> 00:38:37,236
I don't know you very well, Sarah.
665
00:38:37,405 --> 00:38:40,603
You're very pretty and I'm sure
you do marvellous things to his dick,
666
00:38:40,766 --> 00:38:43,520
but believe me, they will
never leave their wife and kids.
667
00:38:44,245 --> 00:38:45,473
Brian will.
668
00:38:45,645 --> 00:38:47,319
This time it's different.
669
00:38:47,487 --> 00:38:50,444
You always think that
and it's always the same.
670
00:38:50,606 --> 00:38:52,518
Remember how in love
you were with Andrew
671
00:38:52,687 --> 00:38:55,678
until he left that girl Carrie
and got engaged to you?
672
00:38:55,846 --> 00:38:58,235
Then you couldn't get rid
of him fast enough.
673
00:38:58,406 --> 00:38:59,554
Could she, Andrew?
674
00:39:02,248 --> 00:39:05,761
I can't remember.
It was a long time ago.
675
00:39:05,926 --> 00:39:07,201
It was, you know...
676
00:39:07,847 --> 00:39:10,441
a different lifetime.
Thanks.
677
00:39:14,686 --> 00:39:16,246
I've left my wife.
678
00:39:17,687 --> 00:39:18,723
Darling!
679
00:39:24,207 --> 00:39:27,040
I've told her about us.
I've told her everything.
680
00:39:27,687 --> 00:39:31,284
Which of you friends of little faith
would like to apologise first?
681
00:39:31,449 --> 00:39:34,041
Good luck to both of you.
I'm going to bed.
682
00:39:34,207 --> 00:39:37,120
Thank you for dinner, Peter.
I enjoyed watching it.
683
00:39:37,568 --> 00:39:39,844
Now you have two
to choose from, Sarah.
684
00:39:40,009 --> 00:39:41,964
Thanks, Mary.
Thanks a lot.
685
00:39:45,169 --> 00:39:47,205
Thank God.
Now I can have a fag.
686
00:39:47,369 --> 00:39:49,599
I'm not angry.
I'm just embarrassed.
687
00:39:49,769 --> 00:39:52,202
Is there anyone else down there
you used to sleep with?
688
00:39:52,368 --> 00:39:54,837
It was 10 years ago!
You were married to someone else.
689
00:39:55,009 --> 00:39:57,079
That is not the point.
I did not try to keep it a secret.
690
00:39:57,249 --> 00:39:58,365
I didn't try to
keep it a secret.
691
00:39:58,530 --> 00:40:00,564
I just didn't think it was
worth mentioning.
692
00:40:00,728 --> 00:40:03,085
You were engaged to
that fuck-monster
693
00:40:03,250 --> 00:40:05,524
and didn't think it was
worth mentioning?
694
00:40:05,689 --> 00:40:06,839
No, I didn't.
695
00:40:07,009 --> 00:40:09,285
- So she was a fuck-monster.
- I did not say that.
696
00:40:09,449 --> 00:40:10,882
You did not deny it.
697
00:40:11,488 --> 00:40:14,323
- Do you still have feelings for her?
- Look, she's my friend.
698
00:40:14,490 --> 00:40:17,527
She is my very screwed up friend
who I am very fond of.
699
00:40:17,690 --> 00:40:21,238
She has a problem getting
involved with anyone available.
700
00:40:21,409 --> 00:40:23,206
- That's all.
- And what are you?
701
00:40:23,369 --> 00:40:24,279
I'm unavailable.
702
00:40:24,449 --> 00:40:26,681
And what is Brian,
now that he has left his wife?
703
00:40:26,851 --> 00:40:29,125
- He's available.
- So, where does that leave me?
704
00:40:29,290 --> 00:40:31,679
Sitting at the edge of the bed.
705
00:40:32,370 --> 00:40:34,884
You're being totally irrational.
706
00:40:35,050 --> 00:40:36,166
What the fuck is this?
707
00:40:36,331 --> 00:40:38,968
Are you angry because I didn't
mention I was engaged to Sarah,
708
00:40:39,130 --> 00:40:41,360
or are you angry because
you're married to me?
709
00:40:41,531 --> 00:40:42,486
I don't know!
710
00:40:44,690 --> 00:40:48,603
Carol, let's try not to
make a big deal out of this.
711
00:40:50,210 --> 00:40:52,964
I guess if we were
sleeping together, I wouldn't.
712
00:40:54,290 --> 00:40:58,000
I thought we using this vacation
to try and work things out.
713
00:40:59,292 --> 00:41:01,283
How are we going to
do that here?
714
00:41:01,891 --> 00:41:03,847
I'm stuck here
in a freezing drawing room
715
00:41:04,011 --> 00:41:06,399
with the cast of
Masterpiece Theatre.
716
00:41:06,571 --> 00:41:08,961
Exactly how far do you think
we are going to get?
717
00:41:09,132 --> 00:41:12,488
They are my best friends.
I live in California.
718
00:41:12,932 --> 00:41:15,241
I see them once every century.
719
00:41:16,372 --> 00:41:19,329
Well, if that's what's
important to you,
720
00:41:19,772 --> 00:41:21,922
then go down and visit them.
721
00:41:22,531 --> 00:41:24,046
I'm going to bed.
722
00:41:34,293 --> 00:41:37,046
Remember that cabaret
we did in Bradford?
723
00:41:38,894 --> 00:41:40,212
That horrible thing.
724
00:41:40,373 --> 00:41:42,808
We went on after
The Fabulous Poodles.
725
00:41:42,974 --> 00:41:46,170
Now there was a band.
What happened to them?
726
00:41:46,333 --> 00:41:48,449
Don't know.
But we went on after them.
727
00:41:48,614 --> 00:41:51,209
Peter was in the middle.
It was his opening monologue,
728
00:41:51,374 --> 00:41:53,251
and someone threw a glass.
729
00:41:53,413 --> 00:41:54,402
And Peter said:
730
00:41:54,573 --> 00:41:57,292
"If that happens again,
we're going straight home".
731
00:41:58,893 --> 00:42:00,726
Hundreds of glasses.
732
00:42:02,734 --> 00:42:04,530
- Hello, loves.
- Andrew...
733
00:42:05,053 --> 00:42:06,647
I hope I didn't drop you
in the poo.
734
00:42:06,814 --> 00:42:09,453
Don't worry, darling.
I live in the poo.
735
00:42:09,615 --> 00:42:10,934
Couldn't matter less.
736
00:42:11,575 --> 00:42:13,929
But I am going to have a drink.
737
00:42:14,253 --> 00:42:15,164
Andrew...
738
00:42:15,973 --> 00:42:17,202
A soft drink.
739
00:42:20,536 --> 00:42:22,605
Now, are you telling
revue stories?
740
00:42:22,774 --> 00:42:24,447
Guilty, I'm afraid.
741
00:42:24,615 --> 00:42:27,607
- Remember Bradford?
- We've just done Bradford.
742
00:42:27,775 --> 00:42:30,165
Do one of those songs
you used to do.
743
00:42:30,335 --> 00:42:33,132
Look, if you won't tell me
your top secret coffee jingle,
744
00:42:33,294 --> 00:42:35,093
then at least you can do that.
745
00:42:35,255 --> 00:42:36,051
Go on, Rog.
746
00:42:38,737 --> 00:42:41,533
Roger, I did have the piano
tuned in your honour.
747
00:42:43,095 --> 00:42:44,494
- Go on!
- All right then.
748
00:42:44,895 --> 00:42:46,123
Only if Mary will sing.
749
00:42:46,295 --> 00:42:48,492
No, no.
I can't, I can't.
750
00:42:48,656 --> 00:42:50,214
All right.
751
00:42:54,695 --> 00:42:57,575
- So, what's it to be?
- Something slow and squidgy.
752
00:42:58,217 --> 00:43:00,092
- A bit of the?
- Yes, yes.
753
00:43:02,297 --> 00:43:03,695
How does it start?
754
00:43:03,977 --> 00:43:05,569
Good evening everybody.
755
00:43:05,736 --> 00:43:07,489
And welcome...
756
00:43:09,656 --> 00:43:11,647
Some day...
757
00:43:12,376 --> 00:43:14,936
when I'm awfully low.
758
00:43:16,697 --> 00:43:18,574
... cold.
759
00:43:19,177 --> 00:43:21,213
I will feel aglow
760
00:43:21,377 --> 00:43:24,847
just thinking of you.
761
00:43:26,098 --> 00:43:30,932
And the way you looktonight.
762
00:43:35,379 --> 00:43:38,847
Oh, but you're lovely!
763
00:43:40,017 --> 00:43:42,612
With your smile so warm.
764
00:43:43,577 --> 00:43:45,773
And your cheeks so soft.
765
00:43:46,817 --> 00:43:52,176
There is nothing for mebut to love you.
766
00:43:53,738 --> 00:43:57,696
Just the way you looktonight.
767
00:44:03,740 --> 00:44:08,892
With each wordyour tenderness grows.
768
00:44:10,218 --> 00:44:14,259
Tearing my fear apart.
769
00:44:16,658 --> 00:44:19,333
And each laugh
770
00:44:19,819 --> 00:44:22,618
that wrinkles your nose.
771
00:44:23,540 --> 00:44:28,091
Touches my foolish heart.
772
00:44:29,780 --> 00:44:32,499
Lovely.
773
00:44:33,260 --> 00:44:35,534
Never, never change.
774
00:44:36,619 --> 00:44:39,133
Keep thy breathless charm.
775
00:44:40,059 --> 00:44:42,097
Won't you please arrange it.
776
00:44:42,261 --> 00:44:45,456
For I love you.
777
00:44:46,220 --> 00:44:50,534
Just the way you looktonight.
778
00:44:54,941 --> 00:44:56,932
Never, never change.
779
00:44:57,901 --> 00:45:00,051
Keep thy breathless charm.
780
00:45:00,222 --> 00:45:02,176
Won't you please arrange it.
781
00:45:02,340 --> 00:45:05,220
For I love you.
782
00:45:06,500 --> 00:45:10,132
Just the way you look...
783
00:45:10,783 --> 00:45:13,898
tonight.
784
00:45:20,462 --> 00:45:22,452
Now do the coffee jingle.
785
00:45:26,862 --> 00:45:28,455
Oh, God!
786
00:45:32,702 --> 00:45:35,136
Everybody's
in show business over there.
787
00:45:35,302 --> 00:45:37,337
Look we need
a plumber the other day.
788
00:45:37,503 --> 00:45:39,732
I knew we were in trouble
when his van arrives
789
00:45:39,902 --> 00:45:42,542
"Plumber to the Stars"
on the top.
790
00:45:42,703 --> 00:45:45,819
Git walks in wearing the silliest
wig you've ever seen,
791
00:45:45,982 --> 00:45:48,372
and hands me
a script he's written
792
00:45:48,543 --> 00:45:51,136
for "Who's In The Kitchen?"
793
00:45:51,301 --> 00:45:53,976
- "Plumber".
- You are joking!
794
00:45:56,264 --> 00:45:57,936
Excuse me, Peter.
795
00:45:58,104 --> 00:46:00,491
I can't find the television
in my room. Where would it be?
796
00:46:01,543 --> 00:46:03,374
I'm terribly sorry,
I'm afraid there isn't one.
797
00:46:03,543 --> 00:46:05,181
Then can I borrow
someone else's?
798
00:46:05,343 --> 00:46:07,016
I can't go to sleep unless
I'm watching television.
799
00:46:07,184 --> 00:46:09,743
No, I'm afraid there isn't one
in the house.
800
00:46:09,903 --> 00:46:12,258
My father wasn't a big fan.
801
00:46:12,423 --> 00:46:15,621
- I'm sure there's a radio somewhere.
- That's all right. I'll read.
802
00:46:17,702 --> 00:46:18,931
Does anyone have a book?
803
00:46:28,263 --> 00:46:30,380
I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to do that.
804
00:46:38,264 --> 00:46:39,334
Oh, my Lord!
805
00:46:39,505 --> 00:46:40,903
I'm leaving now, Peter.
806
00:46:41,064 --> 00:46:43,705
Vera! What I can say?
Magnificent dinner.
807
00:46:46,464 --> 00:46:49,059
Paul and I'll be up after
breakfast tomorrow.
808
00:46:49,225 --> 00:46:51,341
- Why don't you stay for a drink?
- Perhaps tomorrow night.
809
00:46:51,505 --> 00:46:53,781
- Thank you, Vera.
- I'll be off home now.
810
00:46:53,945 --> 00:46:55,936
Goodnight all.
Goodnight.
811
00:46:56,785 --> 00:46:59,458
I think Roger and I ought
to be off to bed.
812
00:47:00,345 --> 00:47:01,460
But it's only 10 o'clock.
813
00:47:01,625 --> 00:47:03,379
It was a long ride up.
814
00:47:03,546 --> 00:47:06,218
Better pace ourselves.
We're not 22 any more.
815
00:47:06,385 --> 00:47:08,501
- Sarah was 24.
- Shut up.
816
00:47:15,545 --> 00:47:17,026
Right, well I'll go.
817
00:47:19,666 --> 00:47:21,977
Brian,
How many wives do you have?
818
00:47:23,906 --> 00:47:25,419
I'm not going to panic.
Isn't for me.
819
00:47:25,987 --> 00:47:27,738
Okay. Night, night.
820
00:47:27,906 --> 00:47:29,783
Sleep well.
821
00:47:32,188 --> 00:47:34,098
Mary, it's for you.
It's your babysitter.
822
00:47:37,626 --> 00:47:39,458
What did she say?
How did she sound?
823
00:47:39,627 --> 00:47:41,459
Absolutely fine.
824
00:47:41,627 --> 00:47:44,140
She just asked if she could
speak to Mary.
825
00:47:44,426 --> 00:47:45,144
Christ!
826
00:47:45,308 --> 00:47:48,265
I don't know when this
constant panic is going to end.
827
00:47:49,348 --> 00:47:50,542
It's been 9 months now.
828
00:47:50,708 --> 00:47:53,505
There's a book I'll send you
when I get back to London.
829
00:47:53,666 --> 00:47:55,146
You just have to be patient.
830
00:47:55,307 --> 00:47:58,025
It's the worst thing that can happen
to a woman to lose a baby.
831
00:47:58,187 --> 00:48:00,499
Why is it the worst thing can happen
to a woman? What about man?
832
00:48:00,668 --> 00:48:02,977
Why does everyone think that
nothing happens to the man?
833
00:48:03,148 --> 00:48:06,186
Just 'cause I didn't birth to him
doesn't mean I don't...
834
00:48:07,467 --> 00:48:09,220
that I didn't love him.
835
00:48:13,550 --> 00:48:16,746
But this constant sense of
fucking doom in the air.
836
00:48:17,068 --> 00:48:18,866
Ben is normal healthy child,
837
00:48:19,029 --> 00:48:22,418
and if he even sniffles it's the
end of the fucking world.
838
00:48:25,629 --> 00:48:26,777
I'm sorry.
839
00:48:26,948 --> 00:48:28,941
It's not your problem.
840
00:48:29,110 --> 00:48:29,859
Don't be silly.
841
00:48:30,029 --> 00:48:31,940
I'm sorry Rog,
I didn't mean to imply...
842
00:48:32,110 --> 00:48:34,828
No, no, it's me,
it's Mary. Sorry.
843
00:48:40,349 --> 00:48:41,988
Ben has a slight temperature.
844
00:48:42,150 --> 00:48:45,108
Brenda called the doctor and he came
over and examined him immediately,
845
00:48:45,270 --> 00:48:48,228
and said it was nothing.
Probably a little cold.
846
00:48:48,629 --> 00:48:49,743
Oh, good!
847
00:48:50,029 --> 00:48:53,180
That means we can all relax
and enjoy the weekend.
848
00:48:53,349 --> 00:48:54,464
So, I think we should go home.
849
00:48:54,630 --> 00:48:56,588
You just said
everything was fine.
850
00:48:56,750 --> 00:48:58,502
Do you think I can relax and enjoy the
weekend when he has a temperature?
851
00:48:58,670 --> 00:49:01,344
Why don't you wait till tomorrow
morning and then ring again?
852
00:49:01,511 --> 00:49:03,024
Well, it's obvious
you don't have children.
853
00:49:03,189 --> 00:49:05,864
- Mary!
- Well, that was unnecessary.
854
00:49:10,311 --> 00:49:12,062
None of us
855
00:49:12,631 --> 00:49:15,225
can possibly imagine
what you've been through.
856
00:49:17,230 --> 00:49:19,347
And your over-reaction
857
00:49:19,511 --> 00:49:22,024
is understandable.
858
00:49:23,310 --> 00:49:25,701
But it is an over-reaction.
859
00:49:27,431 --> 00:49:29,626
We haven't seen you so long,
860
00:49:31,111 --> 00:49:34,582
and we'd just like to spend
a bit of time with you.
861
00:49:36,471 --> 00:49:38,064
Now Sarah is right.
862
00:49:38,952 --> 00:49:42,467
Wait till the morning
and ring again.
863
00:49:48,032 --> 00:49:49,384
All right.
I'll try.
864
00:49:50,351 --> 00:49:52,310
I can't promise,
but I'll try.
865
00:49:54,872 --> 00:49:56,703
I just get so worried...
866
00:49:57,512 --> 00:50:00,152
I'm sorry, sorry.
867
00:50:00,313 --> 00:50:01,905
It's all right.
868
00:50:02,073 --> 00:50:03,790
Sarah, I'm sorry.
869
00:50:06,393 --> 00:50:07,303
Let's talk about it
upstairs.
870
00:50:08,033 --> 00:50:09,227
Night, night.
871
00:50:14,112 --> 00:50:15,831
Poor Roger and Mary.
872
00:50:16,593 --> 00:50:18,185
Well done, Mags.
873
00:50:18,713 --> 00:50:20,191
They'll work it out.
874
00:50:22,634 --> 00:50:25,626
Anyone want to come upstairs
and sleep with Carol and I?
875
00:50:25,794 --> 00:50:27,705
- Pardon?
- I'm not going up there.
876
00:50:27,874 --> 00:50:29,101
She'll kill me.
877
00:50:29,794 --> 00:50:31,830
I am so glad
878
00:50:31,994 --> 00:50:34,713
to have been instrumental
in tarnishing absolutely
879
00:50:34,874 --> 00:50:36,465
everybody's relationships!
880
00:50:38,034 --> 00:50:39,434
Maggie, you and I seem
to be the only two people
881
00:50:39,595 --> 00:50:41,233
who even vaguely get on
with each other.
882
00:50:41,674 --> 00:50:44,393
- Will you marry me?
- Yes.
883
00:50:46,953 --> 00:50:48,992
I now pronounce us
man and wife.
884
00:50:55,514 --> 00:50:57,345
I'll tell you why
I am hysterical.
885
00:50:57,515 --> 00:50:59,824
What if Ben dies?
I won't be able to take it.
886
00:50:59,995 --> 00:51:02,348
So you're going to be there
every second, the rest of his life?
887
00:51:02,514 --> 00:51:03,743
Yes, if I can, yes.
888
00:51:03,915 --> 00:51:06,303
You are not going to go to sleep.
We're going to talk about this.
889
00:51:06,475 --> 00:51:07,988
We have talked about it.
890
00:51:08,156 --> 00:51:09,225
I can't!
891
00:51:09,396 --> 00:51:11,862
This is ruining our
marriage.
892
00:51:12,034 --> 00:51:12,706
I don't think so.
893
00:51:12,876 --> 00:51:16,106
We have a problem and if we
don't solve the problem,
894
00:51:16,275 --> 00:51:17,709
I don't know
what we're going to do.
895
00:51:17,877 --> 00:51:19,274
Why don't you leave then?
896
00:51:26,757 --> 00:51:28,029
I've thought about it.
897
00:51:32,357 --> 00:51:34,824
- Moving out the house?
- Moving out of the marriage.
898
00:51:39,836 --> 00:51:41,110
You'd leave me?
899
00:51:43,916 --> 00:51:46,113
I don't want to.
Mary I love you.
900
00:51:49,437 --> 00:51:51,997
But since Simon died I feel
like you hate me,
901
00:51:52,157 --> 00:51:54,431
and I can't live with
someone who hates me.
902
00:51:54,596 --> 00:51:56,269
- I don't hate you.
- It's like you blame me for this.
903
00:51:56,437 --> 00:51:58,711
- I loved Simon as much as you did.
- I know.
904
00:51:58,876 --> 00:52:01,597
I feel you think there was something
I could've done to keep him alive.
905
00:52:01,758 --> 00:52:03,953
If I had taken them
to my mother's...
906
00:52:04,118 --> 00:52:06,074
- none of this would have happened.
- I know.
907
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:09,354
We didn't go to your mother's
because I didn't want to.
908
00:52:09,518 --> 00:52:12,111
If we'd been in the same room
we'd have noticed him not breathing.
909
00:52:12,277 --> 00:52:15,476
I wish something different
had happened that night.
910
00:52:16,677 --> 00:52:18,634
I put the babies to bed.
911
00:52:21,238 --> 00:52:23,911
And I went into the next room and
I watched television.
912
00:52:24,079 --> 00:52:26,147
I did the same thing that
we'd done every night.
913
00:52:26,317 --> 00:52:27,672
It just happened.
914
00:52:30,079 --> 00:52:31,636
It's not my fault.
915
00:52:37,439 --> 00:52:38,633
I know.
916
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:43,358
I know.
917
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:45,077
I'm being unreasonable.
918
00:52:45,919 --> 00:52:47,638
And I know...
919
00:52:48,839 --> 00:52:50,750
I want to punish someone.
920
00:52:50,919 --> 00:52:53,876
I just want to blame someone
'cause it's so fucking unfair.
921
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:08,035
Mary...
922
00:53:10,921 --> 00:53:12,195
we have Ben.
923
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:15,630
We have each other.
924
00:53:17,441 --> 00:53:19,635
Simon will always be
part of our lives.
925
00:53:19,801 --> 00:53:21,313
I'll never forget him.
926
00:53:24,601 --> 00:53:28,037
We're still very
lucky people,
927
00:53:28,841 --> 00:53:31,308
and we've got a lot
to be thankful for.
928
00:53:39,121 --> 00:53:40,680
Don't leave me.
929
00:53:43,322 --> 00:53:45,277
I won't leave you.
930
00:53:46,641 --> 00:53:48,121
I won't leave you.
931
00:53:53,842 --> 00:53:55,320
Sarah, when are you
coming out?
932
00:53:59,602 --> 00:54:02,070
Are you sawing
something in there?
933
00:54:10,682 --> 00:54:11,593
Right.
934
00:54:12,203 --> 00:54:15,478
Get that beautiful
little arse over here.
935
00:54:17,323 --> 00:54:19,040
Brian, I'm very tired.
936
00:54:24,003 --> 00:54:26,564
I know just the thing...
937
00:54:26,883 --> 00:54:28,635
Brian... Don't!
938
00:54:29,762 --> 00:54:30,752
What's wrong?
939
00:54:31,643 --> 00:54:34,203
It's a very big step,
leaving your wife.
940
00:54:34,363 --> 00:54:36,799
You could have
consulted me first.
941
00:54:36,964 --> 00:54:39,842
You were the one who asked me
to leave her in the first place.
942
00:54:40,123 --> 00:54:41,397
Not yet.
943
00:54:41,564 --> 00:54:44,397
We've only known each other
two weeks.
944
00:54:44,885 --> 00:54:47,158
You said you knew
right away.
945
00:54:47,762 --> 00:54:48,639
Brian...
946
00:54:49,884 --> 00:54:51,318
you've got a kid.
947
00:54:53,124 --> 00:54:54,763
He could live with us.
948
00:54:55,445 --> 00:54:57,399
I've not even met him.
949
00:54:59,804 --> 00:55:01,555
So that's your problem.
950
00:55:01,724 --> 00:55:04,114
You're worried that
Nicholas won't like you?
951
00:55:05,205 --> 00:55:06,683
Well, don't worry.
952
00:55:07,684 --> 00:55:10,244
He will love you just
as much as I do.
953
00:55:10,404 --> 00:55:11,200
Brian!
954
00:55:12,364 --> 00:55:14,320
I'm very tired.
955
00:55:31,005 --> 00:55:32,122
Peter!
956
00:55:36,405 --> 00:55:37,282
Who is it?
957
00:55:37,446 --> 00:55:40,199
Peter, it's me. Maggie.
958
00:55:40,967 --> 00:55:42,001
Maggie?
959
00:55:43,246 --> 00:55:44,279
What?
960
00:55:52,086 --> 00:55:53,804
Maggie, is everything all right?
961
00:55:55,005 --> 00:55:57,679
Fill me with your
little babies.
962
00:55:58,125 --> 00:55:59,604
Oh, my God!
963
00:56:00,927 --> 00:56:02,644
I think you'd better
come inside.
964
00:56:04,207 --> 00:56:06,880
No, no, no,
by all things godly, no!
965
00:56:07,047 --> 00:56:08,320
What are you doing?
966
00:56:08,486 --> 00:56:11,207
You have to give
our relationship a chance.
967
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:13,401
- What?
- I've only just realised.
968
00:56:13,686 --> 00:56:14,803
I love you.
969
00:56:14,968 --> 00:56:18,757
Mags, I love you too,
but we're friends.
970
00:56:19,087 --> 00:56:21,806
Exactly! We're perfect
for each other.
971
00:56:22,047 --> 00:56:25,437
Most marriages are sparked off
by a physical attraction
972
00:56:25,607 --> 00:56:27,359
that wears off
within the first year.
973
00:56:27,527 --> 00:56:30,361
We've known each other for 10
years. We know we get along.
974
00:56:30,527 --> 00:56:32,962
We can learn to love
each other sexually.
975
00:56:33,767 --> 00:56:35,247
It's perfect.
976
00:56:35,808 --> 00:56:38,481
No, please.
Keep that on.
977
00:56:39,048 --> 00:56:40,878
Mags, I don't know
what to say.
978
00:56:41,047 --> 00:56:43,768
Don't say anything.
Just please give it a chance.
979
00:56:43,929 --> 00:56:46,237
Maggie, your offer
is very tempting.
980
00:56:46,408 --> 00:56:49,683
I do not want to put
our friendship in jeopardy.
981
00:56:59,089 --> 00:57:00,568
You just don't fancy me?
982
00:57:00,729 --> 00:57:02,287
No, no, no.
983
00:57:02,449 --> 00:57:04,838
Maggie, you're very attractive,
984
00:57:05,609 --> 00:57:07,247
and intelligent and sexy.
985
00:57:09,368 --> 00:57:11,804
How can I put this delicately?
986
00:57:12,090 --> 00:57:15,639
It's just that I'm not really
in the vagina business.
987
00:57:16,931 --> 00:57:19,443
You slept with Sarah.
I know you did.
988
00:57:19,609 --> 00:57:22,806
My dear, the Archbishop
of Canterbury has slept with Sarah.
989
00:57:22,969 --> 00:57:24,368
And it was years ago.
990
00:57:24,649 --> 00:57:26,767
Are you telling me
you're gay?
991
00:57:27,290 --> 00:57:31,284
Well, I never disguised the fact
I'm a bit of a whoopsie,
992
00:57:32,370 --> 00:57:34,122
but to be honest with you,
993
00:57:34,291 --> 00:57:36,883
I think I'm what is
commonly termed "bisexual".
994
00:57:37,049 --> 00:57:38,562
Which is by the by,
995
00:57:38,729 --> 00:57:41,928
because actually I no longer
sleep with men or women.
996
00:57:43,732 --> 00:57:44,845
But if I did,
997
00:57:45,011 --> 00:57:47,683
I promise you'd be up there
on my wish list,
998
00:57:47,849 --> 00:57:50,763
together with Michelle Pfeiffer
and River Phoenix.
999
00:57:54,132 --> 00:57:55,689
I'm so embarrassed.
1000
00:57:57,570 --> 00:57:58,447
Look Maggie,
1001
00:57:58,611 --> 00:58:01,762
why don't you go back
to your room,
1002
00:58:02,370 --> 00:58:04,567
and we'll pretend
this never happened?
1003
00:58:06,450 --> 00:58:08,044
Don't tell anyone.
1004
00:58:08,532 --> 00:58:10,090
Not a soul.
1005
00:58:21,534 --> 00:58:25,684
You must understandthrough the touch of your hand
1006
00:58:25,971 --> 00:58:28,406
makes my pulse react.
1007
00:58:30,692 --> 00:58:33,252
That it's only the thrill,
1008
00:58:33,652 --> 00:58:35,564
boy meeting girl,
1009
00:58:35,733 --> 00:58:37,724
opposites attract.
1010
00:58:37,893 --> 00:58:39,928
It's physical.
1011
00:58:42,453 --> 00:58:46,810
You must try to ignorethat it means more than that.
1012
00:58:48,333 --> 00:58:51,848
What's love got to do with it?
1013
00:58:52,812 --> 00:58:57,170
What's love buta second hand emotion?
1014
00:58:57,613 --> 00:59:01,084
What's love got to do with it?
1015
00:59:01,733 --> 00:59:05,646
Who needs a heartwhen a heart can be broken?
1016
00:59:06,413 --> 00:59:09,645
What's love got to do with it?
1017
00:59:10,695 --> 00:59:14,892
What's love but a sweet,old-fashioned notion?
1018
00:59:15,293 --> 00:59:18,731
What's love got to do with it?
1019
00:59:19,495 --> 00:59:23,613
Who needs a heartwhen a heart can be broken?
1020
00:59:41,254 --> 00:59:42,290
Hello.
1021
00:59:42,815 --> 00:59:43,644
Hello.
1022
00:59:48,136 --> 00:59:50,126
- What you doing?
- Donkey kicks.
1023
00:59:50,415 --> 00:59:52,133
I've eaten everything
in the place,
1024
00:59:52,295 --> 00:59:54,446
and I'm trying to
work it off before morning.
1025
00:59:54,775 --> 00:59:55,811
I used to be bulimic.
1026
00:59:55,977 --> 00:59:58,773
A year ago I'd be in the bathroom
throwing it all up.
1027
00:59:58,934 --> 01:00:00,253
I'm much healthier now.
1028
01:00:05,377 --> 01:00:06,730
What are you doing down here?
1029
01:00:08,935 --> 01:00:11,848
Just came down here
to drink myself into a coma.
1030
01:00:13,256 --> 01:00:14,404
Get turned down by Peter?
1031
01:00:19,336 --> 01:00:21,056
It was all so embarrassing.
1032
01:00:22,857 --> 01:00:25,975
I wanted to kill myself.
1033
01:00:31,058 --> 01:00:33,777
Calm down and
tell me what happened.
1034
01:00:35,777 --> 01:00:37,573
I can help you
if you tell me.
1035
01:00:38,417 --> 01:00:41,215
I've had every man problem
under the sun.
1036
01:00:43,019 --> 01:00:45,406
I don't think you'd understand.
1037
01:00:46,178 --> 01:00:49,886
Honey, therapists call me
for advice.
1038
01:00:50,057 --> 01:00:51,376
This is different.
1039
01:00:51,977 --> 01:00:53,378
Different, schmifferent.
1040
01:00:53,698 --> 01:00:54,845
Talk to me.
1041
01:00:59,819 --> 01:01:01,810
He's a bisexual.
1042
01:01:03,299 --> 01:01:05,732
I was married to a bisexual.
1043
01:01:06,779 --> 01:01:07,654
Really?
1044
01:01:08,978 --> 01:01:10,172
What happened?
1045
01:01:10,938 --> 01:01:12,612
What happened?
He left me.
1046
01:01:13,380 --> 01:01:15,893
For another woman.
The ultimate put-down.
1047
01:01:24,578 --> 01:01:26,012
I'll run tomorrow.
1048
01:01:27,939 --> 01:01:29,372
So, tell me what happened.
1049
01:01:30,860 --> 01:01:32,531
I read this book...
1050
01:01:33,819 --> 01:01:36,618
which said that if...
1051
01:01:39,421 --> 01:01:41,252
you know someone already,
1052
01:01:41,421 --> 01:01:44,413
that was the ideal person
with which to have
1053
01:01:44,899 --> 01:01:46,333
a long-lasting relationship.
1054
01:01:47,139 --> 01:01:48,288
Good theory.
1055
01:01:48,740 --> 01:01:51,811
So Peter is someone
I love and trust.
1056
01:01:53,018 --> 01:01:53,817
And what happened?
1057
01:01:53,982 --> 01:01:55,653
The book said to be direct.
1058
01:01:55,821 --> 01:01:59,370
That subtle signals
can be misconstrued.
1059
01:02:02,540 --> 01:02:05,533
So I went to his room
and took my clothes off.
1060
01:02:06,940 --> 01:02:08,978
That's direct.
What happened then?
1061
01:02:09,422 --> 01:02:12,458
He said he wasn't
in the vagina business.
1062
01:02:13,980 --> 01:02:15,380
That's direct too.
1063
01:02:16,941 --> 01:02:19,773
Has Peter ever been
in the vagina business?
1064
01:02:20,140 --> 01:02:22,133
Yes, he slept with Sarah.
1065
01:02:23,021 --> 01:02:25,934
There's a surprise.
Was she engaged to Peter too?
1066
01:02:26,102 --> 01:02:27,980
No, they just had
a brief affair.
1067
01:02:30,301 --> 01:02:31,734
Is Peter gay now?
1068
01:02:32,382 --> 01:02:34,099
I don't think so.
1069
01:02:36,462 --> 01:02:38,895
That's why I think
there's still hope.
1070
01:02:40,262 --> 01:02:42,412
He isn't sleeping with anybody.
1071
01:02:43,582 --> 01:02:44,810
Neither am I.
1072
01:02:45,502 --> 01:02:47,935
Neither am I,
but that's another story.
1073
01:02:48,101 --> 01:02:50,378
And I'm almost out of ice-cream.
Okay.
1074
01:02:53,863 --> 01:02:56,457
Here's what I think
you should do:
1075
01:02:57,742 --> 01:02:59,334
Let me make you over.
1076
01:02:59,502 --> 01:03:00,901
Make me over?
1077
01:03:01,423 --> 01:03:04,095
Maggie,
you are a very pretty girl.
1078
01:03:04,264 --> 01:03:06,061
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
1079
01:03:06,224 --> 01:03:07,542
- No, I'm not.
- Yes!
1080
01:03:07,943 --> 01:03:10,537
But you make Mother Theresa
look like a hooker.
1081
01:03:14,304 --> 01:03:16,134
Come on, loosen up.
Have some fun.
1082
01:04:13,905 --> 01:04:15,418
Dear Lord,
1083
01:04:16,786 --> 01:04:18,344
give me strength
1084
01:04:19,946 --> 01:04:22,175
to carry on.
1085
01:04:23,586 --> 01:04:25,224
Maggie, it's me.
Carol!
1086
01:04:25,826 --> 01:04:26,735
Quick!
1087
01:04:27,106 --> 01:04:28,903
Dear Lord,
1088
01:04:29,947 --> 01:04:31,699
give me strength
1089
01:04:33,466 --> 01:04:35,582
to carry on.
1090
01:04:39,787 --> 01:04:42,141
That all may be...
1091
01:04:43,388 --> 01:04:45,504
out on the highway.
1092
01:04:48,188 --> 01:04:51,622
All I've done and much more.
1093
01:04:53,947 --> 01:04:55,459
Please,
1094
01:04:56,707 --> 01:04:58,221
give me strength
1095
01:04:59,388 --> 01:05:01,662
to carry on.
1096
01:05:07,229 --> 01:05:08,946
Dear Lord,
1097
01:05:10,067 --> 01:05:12,185
give me strength
1098
01:05:14,308 --> 01:05:15,627
to carry on.
1099
01:05:15,788 --> 01:05:17,540
- Morning.
- Hello, my darling.
1100
01:05:19,468 --> 01:05:21,824
I've written something
that I want to show you.
1101
01:05:22,268 --> 01:05:24,098
It's called: 'Plumber'.
1102
01:05:24,988 --> 01:05:26,264
No, actually it's this.
1103
01:05:26,429 --> 01:05:28,623
I found this when I was
moving some stuff up there.
1104
01:05:28,788 --> 01:05:31,701
It's that play we wrote.
Well, the first half of it anyway.
1105
01:05:31,869 --> 01:05:33,699
- What's it like?
- It's awful...
1106
01:05:34,148 --> 01:05:35,502
- with glimpses.
- Oh, God!
1107
01:05:35,669 --> 01:05:39,024
I felt like a slimy bastard,
running of to the States like that.
1108
01:05:39,188 --> 01:05:40,066
Did you mind?
1109
01:05:40,949 --> 01:05:42,178
Did I mind?
1110
01:05:42,790 --> 01:05:46,146
We'd invested 6 months
in writing that, and you dropped it,
1111
01:05:46,310 --> 01:05:48,538
after one phone call
from America.
1112
01:05:48,708 --> 01:05:51,143
- Why should I mind?
- I'm so sorry, Peter.
1113
01:05:51,709 --> 01:05:53,381
Water under the bridge,
my petal.
1114
01:05:53,549 --> 01:05:56,985
The first of many unfinished projects
of which I litter the decade.
1115
01:05:57,149 --> 01:05:58,582
That's still a good joke.
1116
01:05:58,750 --> 01:06:00,786
Ruth says:
"I've never fallen in love.
1117
01:06:00,950 --> 01:06:02,429
But I've stepped in it
a few times".
1118
01:06:02,590 --> 01:06:05,184
The scene between the three
of them, end of the first act...
1119
01:06:05,349 --> 01:06:07,021
It was good. It was yours.
1120
01:06:07,189 --> 01:06:08,749
Well, I've read worse.
1121
01:06:09,670 --> 01:06:12,707
Oh, my God!
You look great!
1122
01:06:13,112 --> 01:06:15,543
Miss Perkins... you're beautiful.
1123
01:06:15,869 --> 01:06:17,098
You've been...
1124
01:06:17,270 --> 01:06:18,499
Christmas Caroled.
1125
01:06:18,670 --> 01:06:20,945
She has bones
I would die for.
1126
01:06:21,110 --> 01:06:23,308
Well, breakfast anyone?
1127
01:06:24,591 --> 01:06:27,504
I'm starving, but I don't want
to mess up my lipstick.
1128
01:06:27,671 --> 01:06:28,580
Or your bones.
1129
01:06:28,750 --> 01:06:32,188
I'm sure we could feed you
eggs through a straw.
1130
01:06:32,351 --> 01:06:34,306
I'll just have some coffee.
Do you have any 'Equal'?
1131
01:06:34,470 --> 01:06:36,588
I'm sorry, I'm famous
for having no equal.
1132
01:06:36,752 --> 01:06:38,389
I've got some in my purse.
1133
01:06:38,992 --> 01:06:40,629
What the hell is that?
1134
01:06:41,712 --> 01:06:43,906
Is someone building a barn?
1135
01:06:45,311 --> 01:06:46,869
I think it must be
Sarah and Brian.
1136
01:06:47,031 --> 01:06:48,783
I can't believe Sarah.
1137
01:06:48,951 --> 01:06:51,592
She seems to exist on a diet
of fresh air and bonking.
1138
01:06:51,753 --> 01:06:53,231
You would know.
1139
01:06:54,431 --> 01:06:55,548
Morning, guys.
1140
01:06:56,712 --> 01:06:59,908
That's what I call
an extremely long dick.
1141
01:07:03,271 --> 01:07:06,310
Well, if it isn't
Sarah and Brian, is it us?
1142
01:07:07,353 --> 01:07:08,832
- Mags...
- Yes?
1143
01:07:09,433 --> 01:07:11,424
- A new look.
- It was Carol.
1144
01:07:16,233 --> 01:07:18,348
Then it can only be
Roger and Mary.
1145
01:07:18,512 --> 01:07:21,425
I assume they resolved
their differences last night.
1146
01:07:22,392 --> 01:07:24,305
This is the acid test.
1147
01:07:33,874 --> 01:07:35,068
Darlings!
1148
01:07:35,593 --> 01:07:37,745
Excuse me.
I'd better go.
1149
01:07:40,633 --> 01:07:43,023
Where's Oscar Wilde
this morning?
1150
01:07:43,754 --> 01:07:44,982
Lover Boy.
1151
01:07:45,154 --> 01:07:47,874
The Prince of Panache.
Long Dong Silver.
1152
01:07:48,034 --> 01:07:50,308
He's taking a shower.
A cold one, I hope.
1153
01:07:50,794 --> 01:07:53,706
Do I detect a hint of trouble
in The Garden of Shag?
1154
01:07:53,875 --> 01:07:55,829
- Intermission.
- Carol, it's for you.
1155
01:07:56,154 --> 01:07:58,429
From Los Angeles.
Somebody called Bernie.
1156
01:07:58,595 --> 01:08:00,186
You told me you weren't
giving anyone our number.
1157
01:08:00,353 --> 01:08:01,868
- Just Bernie.
- Especially Bernie.
1158
01:08:02,035 --> 01:08:04,345
He said he would only call
if it was an emergency.
1159
01:08:04,515 --> 01:08:06,631
Leftovers for breakfast everyone?
1160
01:08:08,316 --> 01:08:10,111
Where's all the food?
1161
01:08:10,434 --> 01:08:13,188
Vera wrapped it up and put it
in there last night.
1162
01:08:13,355 --> 01:08:14,423
I saw her.
1163
01:08:14,594 --> 01:08:16,871
Food disappearing
in the middle of the night.
1164
01:08:17,036 --> 01:08:18,309
I smell a Carol.
1165
01:08:18,474 --> 01:08:21,035
Not wishing to pry, but are you
and she entirely happy together?
1166
01:08:21,195 --> 01:08:21,866
We're fine.
1167
01:08:22,036 --> 01:08:24,424
Just getting on each other's
nerves a little.
1168
01:08:24,596 --> 01:08:25,426
I can relate.
1169
01:08:25,596 --> 01:08:27,109
Brian's getting on my nerves.
1170
01:08:27,275 --> 01:08:29,424
I hardly think
my 3 year old marriage
1171
01:08:29,594 --> 01:08:31,632
compares to your 2 weeks
old fuck fest.
1172
01:08:31,797 --> 01:08:32,911
I just commit very early.
1173
01:08:33,596 --> 01:08:36,157
The self knowledge
of Zsa Zsa Gabor.
1174
01:08:36,316 --> 01:08:37,590
What do you mean by that?
1175
01:08:37,755 --> 01:08:39,951
That you are stuck in
a recurring pattern.
1176
01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:41,867
You know those mice that go around
on those little wheels?
1177
01:08:42,075 --> 01:08:43,713
Imagine one wearing
a tight leather skirt.
1178
01:08:43,878 --> 01:08:45,516
We can't all have our lives
figured out as well as you do.
1179
01:08:45,677 --> 01:08:48,750
I didn't say that, I said I had
your life figured out, love.
1180
01:08:48,917 --> 01:08:52,148
I'm sick of everyone
judging everything I do.
1181
01:08:52,317 --> 01:08:53,955
I'm going for a walk.
1182
01:08:56,516 --> 01:08:59,237
That's a nice way
to start the morning.
1183
01:08:59,398 --> 01:09:01,036
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it...
1184
01:09:01,198 --> 01:09:03,871
I'm sure you didn't mean to
but I rather think you did.
1185
01:09:05,077 --> 01:09:06,953
What did Bernie have to say then?
1186
01:09:07,116 --> 01:09:09,233
Can I get you some eggs, toast?
1187
01:09:09,397 --> 01:09:11,786
- Must be bad.
- I think I'II...
1188
01:09:13,398 --> 01:09:14,387
Okay.
1189
01:09:14,917 --> 01:09:16,953
Give it to me straight.
I can take it.
1190
01:09:17,118 --> 01:09:18,949
It's a film, Andrew.
1191
01:09:19,638 --> 01:09:22,152
Shelley Long has dropped out.
It's shooting in Montana.
1192
01:09:22,318 --> 01:09:23,830
And they said they need
a fast replacement.
1193
01:09:23,996 --> 01:09:25,349
- When does it start shooting?
- Monday.
1194
01:09:25,516 --> 01:09:27,271
Oh, Jesus, Carol
you'd have to leave like...
1195
01:09:27,798 --> 01:09:29,390
There's a flight tonight.
1196
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:34,389
- Lf you really want...
- It's a film, Andrew.
1197
01:09:35,078 --> 01:09:37,672
It's a film.
Well this is a marriage.
1198
01:09:38,158 --> 01:09:42,073
If I thought for one second that
you intended to try...
1199
01:09:45,719 --> 01:09:46,754
Fine.
1200
01:09:47,719 --> 01:09:49,789
Then tell Bernie
you'll take it.
1201
01:09:50,999 --> 01:09:51,954
Okay.
1202
01:09:54,398 --> 01:09:56,038
You already have,
haven't you?
1203
01:09:57,159 --> 01:09:58,148
Great.
1204
01:10:00,240 --> 01:10:01,672
Morning.
1205
01:10:07,478 --> 01:10:10,040
- An airline pilot?
- Fighter pilot.
1206
01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:12,395
What on earth would make
you want to do that?
1207
01:10:12,559 --> 01:10:14,834
- Top Gun.
- I'm sorry?
1208
01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:17,794
Top Gun.
You seen it?
1209
01:10:17,960 --> 01:10:20,315
I've seen it 63 times.
Bloody brilliant.
1210
01:10:20,479 --> 01:10:23,995
- Is that the one with Tom Cruise?
- And Kelly McGillis.
1211
01:10:25,480 --> 01:10:28,473
She's what really made me want to
became a fighter pilot, not him.
1212
01:10:28,641 --> 01:10:31,233
- Why?
- I want to go to that school she runs.
1213
01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:34,949
For fighter pilots.
That'd be bloody brilliant.
1214
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:36,076
Hi.
1215
01:10:36,840 --> 01:10:37,991
Blimey!
1216
01:10:38,401 --> 01:10:39,913
Hello, Maggie.
1217
01:10:40,080 --> 01:10:41,673
What am I doing?
1218
01:10:48,522 --> 01:10:50,669
Let me say, since
1219
01:10:52,682 --> 01:10:55,195
we've been together,
1220
01:10:57,522 --> 01:10:59,590
loving you forever.
1221
01:11:01,122 --> 01:11:02,316
Naughty.
1222
01:11:03,521 --> 01:11:04,920
You frightened me.
1223
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:06,482
I'm sorry, Sarah.
1224
01:11:08,722 --> 01:11:11,077
Sorry about this morning
in the kitchen.
1225
01:11:11,802 --> 01:11:14,270
I didn't mean to be
judgmental.
1226
01:11:14,482 --> 01:11:15,836
I'm certainly no-one to talk.
1227
01:11:16,002 --> 01:11:18,231
I was just sitting here trying
to work exactly
1228
01:11:18,401 --> 01:11:19,722
how I ruined my life.
1229
01:11:19,884 --> 01:11:21,440
You think you're in trouble?
1230
01:11:21,603 --> 01:11:23,877
I just tried to fuck a six year old.
1231
01:11:24,043 --> 01:11:27,194
It's like kindergarten, school,
university...
1232
01:11:27,362 --> 01:11:29,638
- black hole.
- It's not that bad.
1233
01:11:29,802 --> 01:11:32,635
Yes it is. In fact,
it's slightly worse than that.
1234
01:11:33,924 --> 01:11:35,437
Do you and Carol
love each other?
1235
01:11:36,402 --> 01:11:37,596
I owe her a lot.
1236
01:11:37,963 --> 01:11:40,955
She hired me when a lot
other people wouldn't touch me.
1237
01:11:41,123 --> 01:11:44,400
- Did you really used to drink a lot?
- Like a pissed fish, darling.
1238
01:11:44,564 --> 01:11:48,273
She understood. She had a parking-
space next to me in the aquarium.
1239
01:11:48,444 --> 01:11:51,913
Weird thought: That the pair of us
stopping drinking
1240
01:11:52,083 --> 01:11:53,722
would make things simpler.
1241
01:11:55,043 --> 01:11:56,794
It's just made them
more complicated.
1242
01:11:57,763 --> 01:12:00,994
I'm disappointed in you.
You used to be so romantic.
1243
01:12:01,163 --> 01:12:03,121
Well, but now
I'm rheumatic.
1244
01:12:03,725 --> 01:12:05,520
Actually, that's it, isn't it?
1245
01:12:05,683 --> 01:12:07,801
People think you're
addicted to sex.
1246
01:12:07,964 --> 01:12:10,761
You're addicted to romance.
And the moment it gets real...
1247
01:12:10,924 --> 01:12:13,915
like this poor bastard Brian
leaving his wife,
1248
01:12:14,563 --> 01:12:15,678
you run for cover.
1249
01:12:16,125 --> 01:12:19,515
Where's the Andrew who used to
scale the college wall
1250
01:12:19,684 --> 01:12:21,324
to play with me all night long?
1251
01:12:22,005 --> 01:12:24,279
Everything's different now, Sarah.
1252
01:12:26,525 --> 01:12:27,958
Everything's different.
1253
01:12:29,565 --> 01:12:32,637
I wonder what would've happened
if we'd stayed together.
1254
01:12:33,284 --> 01:12:36,083
Is that a come-on
or an honest enquiry?
1255
01:12:38,645 --> 01:12:40,557
It's an honest... come-on.
1256
01:12:50,447 --> 01:12:53,198
I was going to tell Bernie
I wasn't available, but...
1257
01:12:53,806 --> 01:12:55,557
I guess I am.
1258
01:12:57,886 --> 01:12:59,320
Wonderful.
1259
01:13:01,486 --> 01:13:04,285
Just listen.
Daddy loves you very much.
1260
01:13:05,206 --> 01:13:07,242
I promise.
I'll see you next week.
1261
01:13:07,487 --> 01:13:09,955
No, Nicholas,
I will see you next week.
1262
01:13:10,127 --> 01:13:12,242
I promise.
I'll take to the zoo.
1263
01:13:12,525 --> 01:13:14,642
No, I love mummy, too.
1264
01:13:16,327 --> 01:13:18,080
I love mummy, too.
1265
01:13:18,808 --> 01:13:20,603
Nicholas, I love you.
1266
01:13:20,766 --> 01:13:22,917
I promise
I'll see you next week.
1267
01:13:30,047 --> 01:13:31,879
What are you thinking?
1268
01:13:33,887 --> 01:13:36,767
I was just wondering who
that phone call was for.
1269
01:13:39,047 --> 01:13:40,605
Well you know, Roger,
1270
01:13:41,168 --> 01:13:43,523
I think if it had been for us,
1271
01:13:43,687 --> 01:13:45,566
someone would have told us.
1272
01:13:46,009 --> 01:13:49,761
I mean, absolutely
no question about it at all.
1273
01:13:49,927 --> 01:13:51,407
You cheeky bitch.
1274
01:13:51,568 --> 01:13:52,683
No!
1275
01:13:53,968 --> 01:13:55,323
Not the buttons.
1276
01:13:58,369 --> 01:14:00,280
- Can I help?
- No need.
1277
01:14:00,449 --> 01:14:02,916
There must be something
I can do.
1278
01:14:03,648 --> 01:14:04,924
All right.
1279
01:14:06,489 --> 01:14:08,956
If you get on with that there.
Thin slices.
1280
01:14:09,130 --> 01:14:10,961
Mushrooms.
I see.
1281
01:14:16,408 --> 01:14:19,128
Thanks so much for coming up
this weekend.
1282
01:14:19,289 --> 01:14:22,486
I wouldn't have been able to have
my friends here if it weren't for you.
1283
01:14:23,811 --> 01:14:25,402
I'll miss this house.
1284
01:14:25,769 --> 01:14:27,167
Do you have any plans?
1285
01:14:28,410 --> 01:14:30,320
Paul wants to learn to fly.
1286
01:14:30,929 --> 01:14:32,807
Saw a film called "Top Gun".
1287
01:14:34,370 --> 01:14:36,485
I'm going to retire.
1288
01:14:37,930 --> 01:14:39,522
I'm going to watch videos.
1289
01:14:39,691 --> 01:14:41,726
Best thing that ever happened.
1290
01:14:42,011 --> 01:14:44,400
If I did decide to keep
the house,
1291
01:14:45,049 --> 01:14:47,280
is there any chance you'd stay on?
1292
01:14:50,650 --> 01:14:53,609
To me, this will always be
your father's house.
1293
01:14:54,211 --> 01:14:56,361
I don't want to see it change.
1294
01:14:57,010 --> 01:15:00,400
And you don't want me around
with all of my opinions.
1295
01:15:00,571 --> 01:15:03,039
Those are too thick.
Do them again, please.
1296
01:15:03,211 --> 01:15:04,041
Opinions?
1297
01:15:04,210 --> 01:15:06,167
How you live your life
is none of my business.
1298
01:15:06,332 --> 01:15:08,526
My life,
you mean my sex life?
1299
01:15:08,692 --> 01:15:10,683
Please, I don't want to talk about it.
It's none of my business.
1300
01:15:15,372 --> 01:15:16,440
Is that better?
1301
01:15:16,650 --> 01:15:18,563
Much better.
Put it in the pot, please.
1302
01:15:21,532 --> 01:15:24,762
- How's your family?
- Don't you have a fucking go at me.
1303
01:15:25,173 --> 01:15:28,244
I saw you down there with that
fucking wood-chopping guy.
1304
01:15:28,412 --> 01:15:29,288
What?
1305
01:15:30,093 --> 01:15:33,322
I have laid my life
on the line for you, Sarah.
1306
01:15:33,491 --> 01:15:36,484
And the moment I make some kind
of commitment to you
1307
01:15:36,652 --> 01:15:39,167
you're off with some
fucking wood-chopping guy.
1308
01:15:39,653 --> 01:15:42,928
I dunno, maybe we have made
some terrible mistake here.
1309
01:15:43,091 --> 01:15:44,969
The thought had crossed my mind.
1310
01:15:45,532 --> 01:15:48,126
It's a bit fucking late for that.
1311
01:15:48,294 --> 01:15:49,171
Isn't it?
1312
01:15:51,932 --> 01:15:54,493
What have I done?
What have I fucking done?
1313
01:15:54,653 --> 01:15:56,564
Don't be such a drama queen.
1314
01:15:56,733 --> 01:15:58,326
Don't you...!
1315
01:16:05,414 --> 01:16:06,607
Brian.
1316
01:16:08,134 --> 01:16:10,283
I owe you an apology.
1317
01:16:11,373 --> 01:16:13,284
It's not you.
1318
01:16:15,133 --> 01:16:17,250
Go home to your wife.
1319
01:16:19,814 --> 01:16:21,692
I'm sorry.
1320
01:16:23,935 --> 01:16:26,324
I didn't mean it
to end up like that.
1321
01:16:50,135 --> 01:16:51,284
Mags?
1322
01:16:52,136 --> 01:16:53,284
Are you okay?
1323
01:16:54,455 --> 01:16:56,208
Maggie, are you ill?
1324
01:17:00,536 --> 01:17:02,049
Shit, sorry.
1325
01:17:07,736 --> 01:17:09,533
Look, are you sure
you want to go?
1326
01:17:09,775 --> 01:17:13,248
It's not that I want to go,
it's that you don't want me to stay.
1327
01:17:13,418 --> 01:17:15,055
When did I say that?
1328
01:17:15,575 --> 01:17:19,046
You've spent the last 6 months
treating me like shit.
1329
01:17:20,017 --> 01:17:22,292
You know, there's nothing
between Sarah and me.
1330
01:17:22,497 --> 01:17:25,168
I know that Sarah
isn't the problem.
1331
01:17:26,775 --> 01:17:30,053
You're unhappy with you.
I can't fix that.
1332
01:17:31,296 --> 01:17:33,288
You're right.
1333
01:17:33,458 --> 01:17:34,445
It's just need some time.
1334
01:17:36,057 --> 01:17:39,936
I just need some time to
sort some things out.
1335
01:17:42,178 --> 01:17:43,406
So do I.
1336
01:17:45,217 --> 01:17:47,015
Why don't you spend some time
1337
01:17:47,178 --> 01:17:49,771
doing whatever it is
that you think you should be doing?
1338
01:17:49,937 --> 01:17:52,816
- You've got my number in Montana.
- Yeah, okay.
1339
01:17:52,978 --> 01:17:54,728
- Give me a call.
- Yeah.
1340
01:17:58,297 --> 01:17:59,810
Take care, sugar.
1341
01:18:12,097 --> 01:18:15,535
I'm hearing the lightfrom the window.
1342
01:18:16,938 --> 01:18:20,214
I'm seeingthe sound of the sea.
1343
01:18:21,898 --> 01:18:25,494
My feet have gone loosefrom their moorings.
1344
01:18:26,819 --> 01:18:30,051
I'm feelingquite wonderfully free.
1345
01:18:31,579 --> 01:18:35,367
And I think I will travel to Rio.
1346
01:18:37,218 --> 01:18:40,291
Using the music for flight.
1347
01:18:40,459 --> 01:18:41,209
Bye.
1348
01:18:41,859 --> 01:18:45,375
There's nothingI know of in Rio.
1349
01:18:46,700 --> 01:18:50,214
But it's something to dowith the night.
1350
01:18:51,819 --> 01:18:55,257
It's only a whimsical notion,
1351
01:18:56,580 --> 01:18:59,936
to fly down to Rio tonight.
1352
01:19:01,541 --> 01:19:05,215
And I probablywon't fly down to Rio.
1353
01:19:06,861 --> 01:19:10,296
But, then again,I just might.
1354
01:19:16,421 --> 01:19:20,130
There's wings tothe fault behind fancy.
1355
01:19:21,501 --> 01:19:24,891
There's wings tothe fault behind play.
1356
01:19:26,341 --> 01:19:29,857
I'm dancing torhythms of laughter.
1357
01:19:30,022 --> 01:19:31,455
- Hello.
- Get in.
1358
01:19:35,583 --> 01:19:39,814
I think I will travel to Rio.
1359
01:19:41,582 --> 01:19:44,654
Using the music for flight.
1360
01:19:46,341 --> 01:19:49,380
There's nothing I know ofin Rio.
1361
01:19:51,103 --> 01:19:54,732
But it's something to dowith the night.
1362
01:20:02,423 --> 01:20:05,097
This is a tune I'm thinking of
for the new coffee commercial.
1363
01:20:30,503 --> 01:20:33,382
So, I opened the door and there
are in bed together.
1364
01:20:33,543 --> 01:20:35,773
- With Maggie on top?
- Like she's in a rodeo.
1365
01:20:35,944 --> 01:20:38,139
Little Maggie?
Who'd have thought it?
1366
01:20:38,303 --> 01:20:39,817
She's a sexpot.
1367
01:20:42,064 --> 01:20:43,212
- Hello.
- Hello.
1368
01:20:47,825 --> 01:20:50,977
Sorry we haven't seen you all today.
We decided to have a bit of a lie-in.
1369
01:20:51,145 --> 01:20:53,260
I think they all know what we had
a little bit of actually.
1370
01:20:53,424 --> 01:20:55,939
There was an element of squeaking.
1371
01:20:56,105 --> 01:20:57,982
All right, I admit it.
1372
01:20:58,384 --> 01:21:00,820
We've been shagging all day.
1373
01:21:02,345 --> 01:21:04,655
- Well, what have you all been doing?
- Maggie?
1374
01:21:06,305 --> 01:21:07,215
Shut up.
1375
01:21:11,344 --> 01:21:12,333
How's Ben?
1376
01:21:14,865 --> 01:21:16,345
My name is Mary.
1377
01:21:17,026 --> 01:21:19,256
I am an over-protective mother.
1378
01:21:22,025 --> 01:21:25,336
But I've only phoned twice today.
And he's fine.
1379
01:21:26,745 --> 01:21:30,262
I'm still a little worried but
I'm okay.
1380
01:21:31,986 --> 01:21:34,546
Well, just to keep you all
up to date.
1381
01:21:35,746 --> 01:21:38,500
We're down now to 6.
Carol's gone.
1382
01:21:38,706 --> 01:21:40,901
And Andrew's
a bit upset about it.
1383
01:21:41,066 --> 01:21:42,625
So I wouldn't mention
it if I were you.
1384
01:21:42,787 --> 01:21:44,824
And Brian has also gone.
1385
01:21:45,587 --> 01:21:48,704
I'm not upset. And you can
mention it all you like.
1386
01:21:53,227 --> 01:21:54,295
Dinner time.
1387
01:22:02,427 --> 01:22:05,022
- Do we have salt anywhere?
- Yes.
1388
01:22:06,108 --> 01:22:07,507
Well, congratulate me.
1389
01:22:07,668 --> 01:22:10,580
I seemed to have turned
Andrew into an alcoholic,
1390
01:22:10,749 --> 01:22:14,343
Maggie into an eroto-maniac,
and Sarah into a nun.
1391
01:22:15,549 --> 01:22:17,742
Roger and Mary
seem all right,
1392
01:22:17,907 --> 01:22:20,706
but frankly I think
they'd be happier at home.
1393
01:22:20,868 --> 01:22:23,701
It's not going exactly
as I planned.
1394
01:22:23,867 --> 01:22:26,099
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
1395
01:22:35,949 --> 01:22:37,461
Five minutes to go.
1396
01:22:38,989 --> 01:22:40,582
Brian will be home by now.
1397
01:22:41,269 --> 01:22:42,588
I kind of miss him.
1398
01:22:42,748 --> 01:22:45,423
- Who was that who picked him up?
- His wife.
1399
01:22:50,868 --> 01:22:52,987
New Year's fucking Eve.
1400
01:22:53,150 --> 01:22:55,902
Pope has a drink
on New Year's Eve.
1401
01:22:56,069 --> 01:22:58,025
The Pope doesn't get unpleasant
1402
01:22:58,949 --> 01:23:01,622
Am I unpleasant, anyone?
1403
01:23:03,190 --> 01:23:04,259
There, you see.
1404
01:23:05,709 --> 01:23:08,508
I never really had
a drinking problem.
1405
01:23:09,310 --> 01:23:12,780
I just went through the A.A. Crap
1406
01:23:12,951 --> 01:23:15,224
to keep Carol company.
1407
01:23:15,470 --> 01:23:18,668
Children, children,
let's not fight.
1408
01:23:21,551 --> 01:23:22,984
- Ben's fine.
- Good.
1409
01:23:24,670 --> 01:23:27,469
Can't you let
one fucking hour go by...
1410
01:23:27,631 --> 01:23:31,511
without ringing
the fucking baby sitter?
1411
01:23:31,671 --> 01:23:32,581
Andrew!
1412
01:23:32,750 --> 01:23:35,265
She's concerned about
our child, Andrew.
1413
01:23:35,431 --> 01:23:37,184
No need to be aggressive.
1414
01:23:37,351 --> 01:23:40,549
Was that Roger the jingle writer?
Did she speak?
1415
01:23:40,911 --> 01:23:43,106
I'd rather be Roger,
the jingle writer
1416
01:23:43,271 --> 01:23:45,182
than Andrew,
the miserable bastard.
1417
01:23:45,352 --> 01:23:46,421
I've never understood you.
1418
01:23:46,590 --> 01:23:49,312
I'd like to think it was Hollywood
but you were like this 10 years ago.
1419
01:23:49,473 --> 01:23:51,225
- Like what?
- Self-Ioathing.
1420
01:23:52,951 --> 01:23:56,467
I think you ought to apologise
to Roger and Mary, Andrew.
1421
01:23:56,633 --> 01:23:58,588
Do you indeed?
Well, I'm sorry.
1422
01:23:58,792 --> 01:24:01,545
Is anyone just going to comment
1423
01:24:01,711 --> 01:24:06,990
on that piece of human excrement
that Sarah dragged in for us?
1424
01:24:07,393 --> 01:24:11,180
Who was that appallingly
dreadful tosspot?
1425
01:24:11,791 --> 01:24:16,502
What the fuck was his fucking
Greta Garbo story about?
1426
01:24:17,392 --> 01:24:20,190
At least he had the courage
to leave his wife.
1427
01:24:20,833 --> 01:24:22,106
Yeah, for 24 hours.
1428
01:24:22,273 --> 01:24:24,582
That's not a divorce,
that's a day trip.
1429
01:24:24,752 --> 01:24:26,904
You'll probably be stuck with
1430
01:24:27,073 --> 01:24:28,791
that Joan Collins impersonator
all your life.
1431
01:24:28,954 --> 01:24:31,261
You're talking about
the woman I almost love.
1432
01:24:31,432 --> 01:24:33,789
I've never seen anyone
wear more make-up.
1433
01:24:33,954 --> 01:24:36,103
How does she take it off?
With a chisel?
1434
01:24:36,434 --> 01:24:39,230
She's made Maggie here
look ridiculous.
1435
01:24:39,593 --> 01:24:40,662
Sarah!
1436
01:24:41,194 --> 01:24:42,831
I think Maggie looks great.
1437
01:24:42,993 --> 01:24:44,790
Of course you do.
You think Carol looks great.
1438
01:24:44,952 --> 01:24:45,590
Mary!
1439
01:24:45,755 --> 01:24:48,142
I will not have my ex wife,
1440
01:24:48,314 --> 01:24:50,065
future ex wife talked about
like that.
1441
01:24:52,234 --> 01:24:53,872
I don't look ridiculous.
1442
01:24:54,035 --> 01:24:56,468
That's a horrible thing to say.
You're just jealous.
1443
01:24:56,755 --> 01:24:58,311
- Please!
- Look, look.
1444
01:24:58,954 --> 01:25:02,265
It's two minutes to midnight.
Can we please not?
1445
01:25:02,435 --> 01:25:04,710
Just try and be nice
to each other.
1446
01:25:04,875 --> 01:25:07,388
There he goes: 'Try and be
nice to each other.
1447
01:25:07,554 --> 01:25:09,225
'Cause it's New Year's
fucking Eve, isn't it?
1448
01:25:09,395 --> 01:25:10,350
New Year's fucking Eve
1449
01:25:10,594 --> 01:25:13,427
at Peter's fucking
New Year's fucking mansion.
1450
01:25:14,915 --> 01:25:17,509
Where Peter gets to be
lord of the manor
1451
01:25:17,675 --> 01:25:20,472
and I get to regret ever
leaving England.
1452
01:25:21,795 --> 01:25:24,151
Andrew, I know this isn't
you speaking.
1453
01:25:24,316 --> 01:25:26,032
This is 'drunk-you'.
1454
01:25:26,674 --> 01:25:29,906
I'm trying to draw a veil
over your behaviour,
1455
01:25:30,075 --> 01:25:32,543
but would you please
shut the fuck up?
1456
01:25:32,715 --> 01:25:36,344
Yea, we could go and write
our crappy play together.
1457
01:25:36,514 --> 01:25:39,030
And then everything would be
okay, Peter, wouldn't it?
1458
01:25:39,195 --> 01:25:40,753
You are being so boring!
1459
01:25:40,916 --> 01:25:43,477
Well, why the fuck
did you invite me?
1460
01:25:44,956 --> 01:25:47,595
Why the fuck any of us?
1461
01:25:47,756 --> 01:25:50,509
And why this year
1462
01:25:50,676 --> 01:25:53,555
and not any other bloody year?
1463
01:25:53,717 --> 01:25:57,107
Because all our lives are in
such an optimum fucking mess,
1464
01:25:57,277 --> 01:26:00,155
that it needs Peter the saviour
1465
01:26:00,317 --> 01:26:02,229
to send us out in the world...
1466
01:26:02,397 --> 01:26:04,989
on New Year's Day
1467
01:26:05,156 --> 01:26:08,034
resurrected and directed.
1468
01:26:08,637 --> 01:26:12,153
And because I'm here to tell you
if that's your aim, my old fruit,
1469
01:26:12,439 --> 01:26:16,226
from bitter personal experience,
it hasn't worked.
1470
01:26:18,158 --> 01:26:20,718
Do you really want to know
why I invited you here?
1471
01:26:20,877 --> 01:26:22,548
Yes, I do, your Lordship.
1472
01:26:23,397 --> 01:26:25,116
Well, I didn't think it was...
1473
01:26:25,278 --> 01:26:27,666
I wasn't sure whether I was
going to tell you or not.
1474
01:26:28,118 --> 01:26:30,871
Given the way this evening
has panned out...
1475
01:26:32,397 --> 01:26:34,275
I think it might be appropriate.
1476
01:26:37,038 --> 01:26:39,678
I invited you all here
1477
01:26:42,518 --> 01:26:43,667
because...
1478
01:26:46,558 --> 01:26:48,469
you all mean a lot to me...
1479
01:26:48,638 --> 01:26:49,833
as you know,
1480
01:26:50,958 --> 01:26:51,946
and...
1481
01:26:54,839 --> 01:26:56,352
I'm sorry, this is...
1482
01:26:57,000 --> 01:26:58,432
not very easy.
1483
01:27:00,638 --> 01:27:02,310
Because...
1484
01:27:02,719 --> 01:27:04,437
recently...
1485
01:27:07,401 --> 01:27:09,231
I had a blood test,
1486
01:27:09,679 --> 01:27:12,830
and it turns out I'm
HIV positive.
1487
01:27:32,399 --> 01:27:33,752
I'm sorry, Andrew.
1488
01:27:33,919 --> 01:27:36,675
I didn't mean to
sober you up that fast.
1489
01:27:37,721 --> 01:27:38,630
Well...
1490
01:27:41,321 --> 01:27:42,594
Happy New Year.
1491
01:27:47,280 --> 01:27:48,314
Come on!
1492
01:27:48,880 --> 01:27:50,109
Chaps...
1493
01:27:50,841 --> 01:27:52,832
Don't let me down.
1494
01:27:54,282 --> 01:27:55,680
Happy New Year.
1495
01:28:04,362 --> 01:28:05,955
Happy New Year, Peter.
1496
01:28:08,762 --> 01:28:10,081
Happy New Year, Vera.
1497
01:28:10,682 --> 01:28:13,515
- Happy New Year, Peter.
- Happy New Year, Peter.
1498
01:28:14,722 --> 01:28:17,030
I am an absolute...
1499
01:28:17,721 --> 01:28:19,235
dribbling arsehole.
1500
01:28:21,202 --> 01:28:23,079
I'm sorry, everybody.
1501
01:28:26,002 --> 01:28:28,391
I'm sorry, Peter.
1502
01:28:30,281 --> 01:28:32,593
I'm sorry, Peter.
1503
01:28:36,121 --> 01:28:38,318
Peter,
how long have you known?
1504
01:28:38,483 --> 01:28:39,677
About six months.
1505
01:28:40,363 --> 01:28:43,595
I'm all right. You don't have to
treat me any differently.
1506
01:28:44,162 --> 01:28:47,042
I haven't got AIDS,
I've got the AIDS virus.
1507
01:28:47,764 --> 01:28:49,082
There's a big difference.
1508
01:28:49,564 --> 01:28:52,203
Statistically,
there's every chance
1509
01:28:52,363 --> 01:28:56,357
that it'll be years
before it becomes...
1510
01:28:57,203 --> 01:28:58,159
full blown.
1511
01:28:58,802 --> 01:29:00,602
You should have told us.
1512
01:29:00,845 --> 01:29:02,913
It isn't a very easy thing to tell.
1513
01:29:04,284 --> 01:29:05,512
Look, look.
1514
01:29:07,564 --> 01:29:09,475
Why don't we sit over there?
1515
01:29:10,204 --> 01:29:12,082
Just a few minutes.
1516
01:29:15,044 --> 01:29:17,080
Are you really feeling...
1517
01:29:17,525 --> 01:29:18,957
okay... now?
1518
01:29:19,805 --> 01:29:21,033
I'm fine.
1519
01:29:21,365 --> 01:29:22,193
Really,
1520
01:29:22,364 --> 01:29:25,481
I do get tired
now and again, but...
1521
01:29:27,123 --> 01:29:29,879
as much as anything, it's this
drug they've got me on now.
1522
01:29:32,125 --> 01:29:35,162
I intend to live a long time,
thanks very much.
1523
01:29:35,326 --> 01:29:36,644
I'm going to out-live you all.
1524
01:29:37,845 --> 01:29:40,722
- Lf there's anything we can do.
- Anything.
1525
01:29:42,364 --> 01:29:44,117
I'm so sorry, Peter!
1526
01:29:45,087 --> 01:29:47,280
He knows you're sorry, dear.
1527
01:29:47,607 --> 01:29:48,595
I love you.
1528
01:29:48,766 --> 01:29:49,881
I know, Andrew.
1529
01:29:50,205 --> 01:29:52,356
Vera, coffee?
1530
01:29:55,805 --> 01:29:57,717
Do you know who you got it from?
1531
01:29:58,446 --> 01:30:02,156
I haven't a clue, and I don't think
it makes much difference if I did.
1532
01:30:02,327 --> 01:30:04,316
- Do you?
- I guess not.
1533
01:30:06,286 --> 01:30:09,880
I mean, it's not as if it's
anybody else's fault.
1534
01:30:11,327 --> 01:30:14,682
There's always a chance they'll
discover a cure, isn't there?
1535
01:30:14,846 --> 01:30:17,680
They find new things...
1536
01:30:17,847 --> 01:30:19,165
Absolutely.
1537
01:30:24,647 --> 01:30:27,242
Look, I'm going to go down
and get some bubbles.
1538
01:30:28,047 --> 01:30:30,278
Roger, why don't you
get your guitar?
1539
01:30:30,608 --> 01:30:32,758
It's a party,
for God's sake!
1540
01:30:45,688 --> 01:30:47,325
I wish you'd told me.
1541
01:30:49,689 --> 01:30:52,327
I thought you'd consider
my plight
1542
01:30:52,887 --> 01:30:54,481
a deserved punishment.
1543
01:30:55,288 --> 01:30:57,199
How could you say that to me?
1544
01:30:58,728 --> 01:31:01,117
I've known you
since you were a little boy.
1545
01:31:02,168 --> 01:31:04,204
I used to watch you
drawing at that table.
1546
01:31:04,369 --> 01:31:05,641
I'm sorry.
1547
01:31:05,968 --> 01:31:08,006
I know you always disapproved
1548
01:31:09,289 --> 01:31:10,881
of the way I lived my life.
1549
01:31:11,488 --> 01:31:12,639
I didn't.
1550
01:31:19,288 --> 01:31:21,119
You had all that promise.
1551
01:31:22,490 --> 01:31:25,208
I hated seeing what you
didn't do with your life.
1552
01:31:25,769 --> 01:31:27,886
And more, how unhappy
it made you.
1553
01:31:30,170 --> 01:31:32,047
But I've always loved you.
1554
01:31:35,728 --> 01:31:38,163
How could you say that
to me, Peter?
1555
01:31:39,290 --> 01:31:41,008
Vera, I'm sorry.
1556
01:31:41,410 --> 01:31:43,082
I didn't mean to upset you.
1557
01:31:55,491 --> 01:31:58,163
I suppose it's too late
for Auld Lang Syne.
1558
01:31:58,570 --> 01:31:59,446
Yeah.
1559
01:32:02,130 --> 01:32:03,165
Coffee?
1560
01:32:03,330 --> 01:32:04,559
Black, no sugar.
1561
01:32:04,731 --> 01:32:06,801
Come on, Andrew.
Thanks, Vera.
1562
01:32:06,971 --> 01:32:07,960
Happy New Year.
1563
01:32:08,132 --> 01:32:10,691
Peter, if you wanted
to stay with us, any of us...
1564
01:32:10,851 --> 01:32:13,081
- any time...
- That's sweet of you, but...
1565
01:32:13,250 --> 01:32:16,128
I'm going to be fine.
This is my home.
1566
01:32:16,291 --> 01:32:17,643
We can't let you
stay here on your own.
1567
01:32:17,811 --> 01:32:19,848
I'll be fine.
1568
01:32:20,012 --> 01:32:23,243
- Are you sure?
- No, but I'll give it my best shot.
1569
01:32:24,612 --> 01:32:27,125
I've got something
very funny to show you.
1570
01:32:28,212 --> 01:32:30,247
Stay exactly where you are.
1571
01:32:31,250 --> 01:32:33,083
I can't believe
he's coping so well.
1572
01:32:33,253 --> 01:32:34,844
I think he's fantastic.
1573
01:32:35,332 --> 01:32:38,530
- It makes you feel so helpless.
- Exactly.
1574
01:32:38,854 --> 01:32:40,887
Mags, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean what I said.
1575
01:32:41,051 --> 01:32:43,361
I think you look fan...
I think you look great.
1576
01:32:43,852 --> 01:32:46,320
I was trying to get back at
Mr. Appropriate here.
1577
01:32:46,492 --> 01:32:50,723
I am sorrier than it is
humanly possible to be.
1578
01:32:50,891 --> 01:32:54,408
Roger, I wouldn't blame you
if you never spoke to me again.
1579
01:32:54,573 --> 01:32:55,561
Oh, shut up!
1580
01:32:55,732 --> 01:32:57,485
Look what I found.
1581
01:33:03,653 --> 01:33:06,293
The cabaret I persuaded you to do
with my father's friends.
1582
01:33:06,455 --> 01:33:08,842
- Vera took the photo in the kitchen.
- We didn't go down that well.
1583
01:33:09,012 --> 01:33:11,369
We went down as well as
a dry souffle.
1584
01:33:11,534 --> 01:33:13,966
- Joined the land of the living?
- I am so sorry.
1585
01:33:14,132 --> 01:33:16,251
Remember Paul dancing
on the table, Vera?
1586
01:33:16,414 --> 01:33:19,132
He must have been
about 7 then.
1587
01:33:19,294 --> 01:33:21,854
- Feel embarrassed, Maggie?
- Have I missed something?
1588
01:33:22,014 --> 01:33:23,571
- No, no.
- No, never mind.
1589
01:33:23,733 --> 01:33:25,726
- What song did we do?
- Well, The Underground Song.
1590
01:33:25,895 --> 01:33:28,202
The fucking Underground Song!
What a piece of shit!
1591
01:33:28,373 --> 01:33:30,012
- Who wrote that?
- Guilty.
1592
01:33:30,174 --> 01:33:32,484
- I've always loved that song.
- All right then, recite it.
1593
01:33:32,654 --> 01:33:34,805
I've got to go to "gotty, plotty"...
1594
01:33:37,373 --> 01:33:40,172
Let's all go down to Oxford Circus
1595
01:33:40,335 --> 01:33:43,087
past Trafalgar Square...Charing Cross.
1596
01:33:45,336 --> 01:33:47,131
Let's do it! Let's do it!
1597
01:33:53,216 --> 01:33:54,808
Not The Underground Song!
1598
01:33:54,976 --> 01:33:57,203
It's your punishment for
being such a miserable bastard.
1599
01:33:57,374 --> 01:33:59,686
Here's your bowler and
there's your umbrella. All right...
1600
01:33:59,855 --> 01:34:01,652
Under the arm.
1601
01:34:04,256 --> 01:34:07,248
Let's all go downto Oxford Circus
1602
01:34:11,375 --> 01:34:16,085
Let's all go down to Oxford Circuspast Trafalgar Square.
1603
01:34:16,255 --> 01:34:18,486
And then from Charing Crossright up to Euston.
1604
01:34:18,656 --> 01:34:22,808
Then change to the Victoria,and then the Piccadilly...
119950
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