All language subtitles for wissamnbvc

Hey.
How you been?

Forget what happened
last week?

I'm not surprised,

with some
of that cheap-ass ganj

you've been smoking.

Try some
of this good Canadian shit.

- Little help here!
- Put me down! Put me down!

- No more! Ah!
- Oh!

What happened?

- He busted his leg.
- Is that bone?

It took six plates
and 18 screws,

but I think we got
Humpty Dumpty

- put back together again.
- Drugs.

I went to get a test done,
to find out

if I inherited
a genetic mutation from my mom

that means I'm probably
gonna die of breast cancer.

And?

I don't find out the results

for a couple days.

Liam?

Liam, you home?

- You gonna answer?
- Took them two days

to realize I was gone.
Can't be too worried.

I think we should break up.

Call me

when you're not so needy.

Why the long face,
little pirate?

I didn't make it
past the first round of cuts

for West Point,

and my lesbian sister

is in love with my girlfriend,

trying to turn her gay, too.

Oh, what are you doing?

I'm sorry.

I'm not gay.

She doesn't love me.

Kelly's a bitch.

She likes to break hearts.

We should go fuck her up.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Kev?

Did you just...

Mm-hmm.

Eight seconds.

Twelve-year-olds last longer.

Have you been sending
two children to our school

for the price of one
for months?

We're very sorry, Sister.

We need a Jesus for
the Festival of St. Felicity

pageant next weekend.

And you want Kev
to be Jesus?

I saw
the "Help Wanted" sign.

Need a job.

Holy fuck.

- Hi, Max.
- Uh, listen.

Zoning on that lot
you're a partner in

got approved.

I don't remember
exactly how much

- you have in the partnership.
- A hundred.

What if I bought you out now?

I'll call you in the morning.

We'll get it done.

Hey, what are you doing
up so early?

Going out.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- You ready?
- Yeah.

- Gloves.
- Yeah.

Spray paint?
Nails?

You got the sugar?

Yep, and the hammer.

Let's do this.

What are you two up to?

We're gonna go fuck up
a truck.

Fuck it up good.
I'll be back

before Franny wakes up.

Hello?

Debbie?
Lip?

It's Fiona.

Whatcha need, Frank?

Oxy time.

I doubt it.

Uh, yeah, Debbie gave you one

at midnight last night,
so you don't get another one

until 8:00 a.m.

What time is it?

It's almost 6:00.

It hurts.

I'm sure it does.

The bottle says

take as needed for pain.
I'm in pain.

I don't even know
where Debbie keeps them.

Where she hides them,
you mean.

Wake her up.
Find out.

She's not here.

Bullshit.
Debbie!

Shh!
Jesus.

She just left.

When's she coming back?

Soon.

Just--
Try to go back to sleep.

I need coffee.

My bandage needs changing.

It's not my turn.

Need a sponge bath.

Not a chance.

I'm starting to smell.

And that's new how?

You could call Debbie.

Jesus.
How long

did the doctors say

you were gonna be like this?

Three to six months.

Sweet Jesus.

The truck's in the driveway.

Stay low.
Don't want to trigger

the motion detector lights.

- Ready?
- Roger that.

Operation Annapolis
is a go.

- Ready?
- Copy that.

Carl,

locking gas cap.

Get the screwdriver.

- Hammer.
- Too noisy.

I'm just gonna give it a tap.
Hammer.

Come on, put
the sugar in. Come on!

It's Kelly.
What do we do?

Run!

Hey, assholes!

Oh, come on!
Come on.

Shh!
Come on.

I see you motherfuckers!

- Hey.
- Hey.

Liam still sleeping?

He's not in there.

He's not?

Wanna see
if he could cover

my Frank shift
for a few hours later.

Where you going?

Preliminary hearing

for punching

Liam's lemonade lady.

Oh.
You need company?

Could maybe get off work
for a few hours.

No, I'm good.
They knocked it down

to a misdemeanor.

Did Frank tell you his recovery
could take six months?

- Six months?
- Yeah.

This morning, he asked me
to give him a sponge bath.

What was that like?

Well, I didn't do it.

Jesus, I'd have nightmares
for years.

Schedule Debbie made

is working out okay.
You know,

spreading
the load around.

It's like having
a 160-pound baby

on the couch.

Oh, and there's
a massive dump

waiting down there
in his bedpan.

That's what I've been smelling?

Uh-huh.

Well, we could get him

adult diapers, right?

You want to be the one

wiping the shit
out of his pubic hair

with a warm washcloth

during diaper changes?

Oxy?

Oh, Christ.
What's that smell?

Bedpan.

Whose shift is it?

Carl.

- Fuck me.
- Did you two

hold up a liquor store
this morning?

Is that Debbie?

Yes.

Oxy!

Not for another half-hour,
Frank.

I need it now.

Take too much Oxy,

it's gonna make you
constipated.

It hasn't happened yet.

Christ, what did he eat?

Okay, last one
for eight hours, Frank.

Better enjoy it.

Then two.
Give me two.

Nope, you're only

- allowed one, Frank.
- Two!

- I won't make it on one.
- Sorry, Frank.

So?

Frank.
Any ideas?

It's not like we have
that many options.

Can't, like, drug him
and dump him under a bridge.

- Why not?
- We could do real time.

Elder abuse.

Nah, no jury would convict.

We can get him
back on disability.

You know?
Get the state

to hire somebody to help him.

That could take months.

Juice?
I need juice.

We're having
a family meeting, Frank!

About what?

About your sorry ass!

Hey, wait.
Doesn't he still have money

from that Randy guy?

- Who?
- Ingrid's ex.

He paid Frank
to stay away from her.

No Randy money left.

You couldn't have possibly
spent it already.

All gone.
No money.

What about the cash
that he made on that drug deal?

It's my rainy day fund.

Yeah, and this is

a goddamn monsoon, Frank.

I'll call around and, uh,

see how much
a home healthcare worker costs.

I got it.

Oh, I don't mind.

No worries.
I'm on it.

I don't need
a healthcare worker.

Yes, you do.

Times like these

were made for families

caring for loved ones
in their time of need.

Nobody loves you, Frank.

Hey, um, anybody see Liam
last night?

Yeah, he was watching TV
on the sofa with Frank.

- He sleep here?
- I think so.

I didn't tuck him in
or anything.

Here's your bedpan back.

Don't use it again
till someone else can get it.

Hey.
Catch a meeting later?

I think I'm gonna do
an Al-Anon meeting

- again today.
- All right, well,

let us know
if you think it's worthwhile.

We could turn it
into a fun-filled activity

for the whole family.

Carl, you want me
to make you some eggs?

Thanks, but I have coffee
and cereal in the morning.

Debbie, scrambled eggs?

Coffee for me.

Excuse me.

Kelly again?

Yeah.

So, what are your plans?

Uh, well,

I'ma go to that, uh,
Al-Anon meeting...

No, not today.

For the future.

I...
I don't know.

I-I haven't
really thought about it.

Franny needs a real bed.

She's too big
for her crib now,

and my room doesn't have
enough space for two beds,

so I was thinking
that you could take my room

and Franny and I
could take your old room.

Sure.

Well, I'm gonna go
wake up Franny.

Keep her up there too long,

she won't be able
to sleep at night.

Oh, Kev?

Kevin?

Yeah.

- You still haven't...
- No.

- Hm...
- How long?

47 minutes.

Oh, baby!

This is so fantastic.

Oh, yeah,
it's wonderful, baby.

- Oh...
- And I am so happy

- for you, baby.
- Oh, happy, happy!

Mm. But all good things
must come to an end.

Come to an end,
now, Kevin.

You don't want
to try for 60 minutes?

Nope. Now.

Mm.

Do that thing with my balls.

Okay.

This?

No, no, no.
The other thing.

- This?
- Yes.

Yes!

Oh!

Oh.

- Kevin.
- Mm.

- Mm.
- Okay.

Oh.

Fuck you,
Mr. Vasectomy.

I'm a man again!

Hey.

- You working today?
- Yeah.

Sorry about West Point.

Oh, it's no big deal.

I mean, it was stupid
for me to even apply.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

They're never gonna accept
someone like me.

It's their loss.

Yeah.
Fuck 'em, right?

I gotta get to work.
Can't be late.

Who's gonna fry
those fish sticks?

- Ay! Jesus!
- Ugh.

This is nasty.

Any of those beers
have something left in them?

No.

Any left in the fridge?

Let me finish this first.

Ugh.

Called a couple
home healthcare worker places.

Twenty-two bucks an hour.

Thirty for overnights.

Totally unnecessary.
Just set me up in here

with my Oxys,
a couple of brews,

and the remote,
and I'm good as gold.

Yeah, you're down here
yelling for us day and night.

Totally need someone
to take care of you.

Easy.

I'm not even supposed
to be doing this.

It's Liam's shift.

Well, then get him down here.
Liam!

He's not here,

and I haven't told anyone
where I hid your Oxy,

so don't think you can bully
Liam into giving you more.

What happened
to that G.I. Jane chick

your brother was banging,

the one
you were trying to steal?

I wasn't trying to steal her.

Sure you were.
You were following her around

like a lovesick puppy.

She broke up with Carl.

So she is a carpet-muncher?

Don't be an asshole, Frank.

She was cute.

Smart, too.

I was surprised she went
for a moron like Carl.

He was definitely punching
above his weight on that one.

Kelly isn't gay.

Softball?

Really?

Bi?

Or maybe you just weren't
tempting enough

for her to risk jumping
into gender experimentation.

Women like smart.
Sorry, sweetheart.

You're not the sharpest shovel
in the shed.

Now, I bet
if it had been your sister,

Fiona...
She's not--hey.

She's not brilliant,

like Lip,
but she's street smart, quick.

I bet if it'd been Fiona,

softball girl
would've taken that for a spin.

Keep it up, Frank.
You'll never see an Oxy again.

Not to mention,
Fiona got

Monica's stripper-on-a-bender,
dangerous looks,

not that it's made
Fiona's life easier.

Too much pretty
can really mess you up.

Hi, it's Liam.

- Liam, where are you?
- Better to be

- like you.
- Frank is driving me

fucking crazy,
and it's your shift.

Kinda slow...

Love you.
Bye.

Keeps you realistic

about your prospects.

Morning.

I'm not late, am I?

He's here.

Who's here?

The Captain.

He wants to meet you.

Captain Bob?

I thought he was made-up,
like Colonel Sanders.

Colonel Sanders was real.

He was?

Follow me.

Sir.

Ensign Gallagher.

Best fryer mate
I ever had.

Pleasure to meet you, Carl.
Have a seat.

You want a root beer float?

- Ah, no--
- Lori, bring

our little white panther here
a root beer float.

- Okay.
- You want some popcorn shrimp?

Lori, popcorn shrimp, too.

I eat a basket
every location I visit, Carl.

Quality control
is the name of the shrimp game.

Look at that.

Nicely battered,

properly crisp.

Mm, mm, mm.

You really saved my ass
the other day, son.

Once word get out
you can rob a franchise,

the sharks descend.

Give much thought
to your future, Carl?

Um, well--

Look, I know
a young man like you,

it's hard
to see yourself down the road,

but Captain Bob's is growing.

- Carl, you own a Winnebago?
- No.

I do.
A Grand Tour.

You got a lake house?

- Mm...
- I do.

Ski boat?
Two brand-new Cadillacs?

You take a two-week vacation
every year

down to the Alabama coast?

No, sir.

No, you're damn straight
you don't,

but you will, Carl,

if you make
the right choice today.

I got a store
in East Garfield Park,

and it's been robbed
six times this month.

You can start tomorrow,

Assistant Manager.
500 bucks a week.

In a year,
you could be manager.

Hell, in ten years,

you could even own
your own franchise.

Huh?
The sky's the limit, son.

Carl, play your cards right,

you could even end up
with your own Winnebago.

So, mystery solved.

Yeah?
What mystery is that?

Homer.
He's not drunk somewhere.

Yeah?
What happened?

He violated his parole.

Idiot got pulled over
with a .45 under his seat.

- Ah.
- Shit.

I gotta try and find
a new mechanic.

Well, there might be time
to take the broom

out of Jason's hands.

You mean instead of hiring
someone who's qualified,

I should hire the kid
who sweeps up?

Yeah.

All right, Mother Theresa.

Show him how
to change a spark plug,

while I try to find someone

who actually knows
what the hell they're doing.

- Hey, thank you.
- Yeah, yeah.

Yo, Jason!

Hey, come here, man.

Man, you ever change
an air filter?

I've seen you do it.

All right, I want you
to finish detailing

the bagger over there,

then get an air filter
for the Sportster.

All right?
I'll come over there

and I'll teach you
how to change it.

Yeah.
All right.

Lip?

Hey.

What's up?

Doctor's office called.

They want me to call them back
at noon,

uh, go over the results
of my test with them.

What time is it now?

Five of.

I just thought I should, uh,

be with someone in case
I try to jump off a roof

or throw myself
in front of a bus or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
Yeah.

Hey, Tami.
How you doing?

It's none
of your fucking business, Brad.

Okay.
Come on.

I'll find someplace
to make that call.

There's gotta be someplace else
you can keep this thing.

It's scaring away
the customers.

I tried to get it in the house.

It just wouldn't fit
through the door.

V, I think we can make
some money

renting me out as Jesus.

People rent Jesus?

- Yeah, for parties and stuff.
- Jesus parties?

I think that's called
church services, Kevin.

Like Santas at Christmas,
or Elvis impersonators.

I could work
bachelorette parties,

be one of those, uh,
birthday strippers.

A Jesus stripper?

Look at this website.

They got all kinds of people

looking like celebrities
they rent out.

Hi.

What is all that about?

The nuns figured out
we were sending

both of our girls to preschool
for the price of one,

so Kev has to be Jesus
for their parade,

only now, Kev wants to be Jesus
all the time.

Praise the lord!

I thought you were taking
some time away from drinking.

May I have a Coke, please?

Absolutely.

What's that?

Well, the zoning went through

on the lot that I invested in

and Max Whitford bought me
out of the partnership.

No shit?
How much?

$100,000.

- $100,000--
- Eh.

- One, oh...
- Right?

That is fantastic.
So you--what are you gonna do

with it,
buy a new building?

Oh, hell no.
Fool me once.

So what now?

Well, I quit my job
at the gas station...

- Damn right.
- And now I don't know.

I feel like I got
a second chance.

And a third, and a fourth.

V, I could have
different costumes

for different occasions.

Wedding Jesus.

Uh, Last Supper Jesus.

Bat Mitzvah Jesus.

Last Supper Jesus?

Well, I guess that beats
getting nailed to the cross.

They didn't use
real nails, did they?

Is Liam here?

- Mm, no.
- Really?

Yeah, I'm here.

It's okay, Todd.
I got this.

Hi.
Why are you dressed like that?

Going to church.

You go to church?

Yes.

I've been texting
and calling you.

You're supposed to be
at the house right now,

taking care of Frank.

I don't live there anymore.

What?
You can't just move out.

I did last night.

No, absolutely not.
If you have

an issue with it,
make something else.

Can I live at Todd's?

- Please?
- Tuna salad

gives me the runs.

Somebody get me a beer?

His grandma said I can.

Please, can I live at Todd's?

Fine!
Yes! Yes!

Okay.

I'm gonna do it.

- I'm going now!
- Beer!

- Go!
- Jesus!

Now if you'll excuse me,

I'm late for church.

Yeah, I understand.

Right.
Great.

Yeah.

No, thank you.

Let me think it over.

Uh-huh.

Positive.
BRCA1.

It's good. That's--
that's "baby good," right?

Yeah, it's "baby good."

So I don't have to worry

about you trying to find
any tall buildings or anything?

- No.
- Okay.

I'm actually afraid
of heights.

Shotgun in the bathtub's
more my style.

Fuck!

I don't want to have a baby
just to save my tits.

Okay.

I gotta have an abortion.

I mean, I work
in a hair salon.

I breathe bleach fumes all day.
This baby's gonna come out

with, like, five heads
and a dorsal fin.

Tami. Tami, Tami.

Hey, breathe.
Breathe.

All right?

Good.

If having the baby
reduces the chances of cancer,

maybe you should
have the baby.

And what?

Die on the kid
when it's 13,

like my mom did to me?
Leave it an orphan?

It wouldn't be an orphan.

Right,

because you're gonna
take care of it.

Yeah, I would.

And what about
when you die, too, Lip?

You know, the way
you smoke cigarettes,

it'll be a miracle
if you make it to 40.

I'll quit.

You'll quit.
Right.

I was gonna rent
my own chair this year.

I was gonna save up
and get my own salon,

- in the next couple years...
- Tami, that's great.

That's great, all right?
You can still do that.

No, I can't, Lip!
I'm gonna be a little busy.

I'm having a baby
and then a double mastectomy.

I need to fuck.
Where can we fuck?

Huh?
There's gotta be, like,

a really, really nasty bathroom
in here, right?

- Somewhere?
- Tami...

Tami. Tami.

What?

You don't want to fuck me
because I'm pregnant?

Then fine.

I--

Hey!
Hey!

Fiona?

Ready for us?

No.
Judge is running behind.

The ADA has agreed
to settle your case.

$2,500 fine
and time served.

- That's it?
- The ADA met

with the woman you punched.
She's not too thrilled

about putting her on the stand.

She's still railing
about the dangerous elements

in your neighborhood.

The kids selling lemonade?

Can you pull the money
together for the fine?

- Yes.
- Okay.

Right, I'm gonna come get you
when they call your case.

You stand up, plead guilty,

and apologize to the court
for being an idiot.

Got it.

You seem like a smart girl,
Fiona.

Time to leave this South Side
hood rat crap

behind you and get on
with being an adult.

If anybody in this room
has ever fallen in love,

it's usually with someone
that did everything wrong,

that you would
never expect...

Oh, bullshit.

Why you should have...

Anybody here?

I need another beer!

Carl?

Debbie?

Beer!

...Ever,
I need to know,

are you known...

Where's your mother?

Hold on.
And how--how is your...

Uh, you tall enough
to open the refrigerator?

I need another beer.

Like, a lot
of women that I talk to

it's like--you know,
they want, like,

Patrick Dempsey and--and all--

the knight in shining armor,
and they're...

You watch
these relationship shows,

they never tell the truth.

Relationships can be hazardous
to your health,

'cause to get a good one,

a great one,

you need truth-telling,

but people don't like truth.

That's why they fill the air

with lies like
"Mommy loves you"...

Mm?

"Politicians care."

"Prayer works."

I found Liam.

- You lost him?
- Says he moved out.

- I need another beer.
- Franny!

Did you climb out
of your crib again?

- Yeah!
- Let's get you back,

or you're gonna be sleepy!

Beer?

How do you do that?

Are you a monkey?

Are you
my little monkey girl?

Do you remember telling Liam
he could move?

No.

Says he doesn't want
to be a Gallagher anymore.

Is that an option?

Yeah, he's going to church.

Church?

Did somebody drug him?

What are you doing?

Giving my uniforms to Goodwill.

Why? You're going back to
school next week.

I'm dropping out.

Captain Bob came by the shop,

offered me assistant manager.

$500 a week.

Gotta carry a sidearm on me,
but I could end up

with a ski boat
or a Winnebago.

This is stupid.

You're going back to school.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are, Carl.

I'm a loser, Debbie!

A West Point reject
with a shitty education

and a family history
of alcoholism and drug abuse

that's bound to catch up
with me sooner or later.

Fast food is the best
it's gonna get for me.

I've accepted who I am.

Why can't you?

I'm going to get Liam
to bring him home.

You coming?

No.

Better off where he is.

Geez.

She died at home,

in pain.

Took eight months.

Every week,

there was just
a little bit less of her,

until there wasn't anything
left.

That happens to me,
do you promise to shoot me?

Fifty years from now?

Sure.

Fifty years.
Sure.

I'm gonna have the baby.

Good.

Good?

- Yeah.
- What does that mean?

Means I'm glad you've decided
to keep the baby.

I said I was gonna have
the baby.

I didn't say
I was gonna keep it.

Adoption?

Sure.
Why not?

Tried and true
for scorned women

throughout history.

Yeah, I, um...

I don't think
I'm gonna be okay with that.

Okay with what?

Some kid of mine

out in the world
thinking they weren't wanted.

I mean...

For Christ's sake, Lip,

you'd be a shitty father.

Hey, fuck you!

- I know I wouldn't.
- I give this kid up

for adoption,
I want to get it

as far away from me
as possible.

Guam comes to mind.

Guam?

I don't want to run
into some kid

who looks like me,

or worse yet, you,

- at the Costco.
- All right!

So I have the baby,

or you have the baby,

or we have the baby, right?

We?

Oh, what, are we
getting married now?

You want to?

Do you love me?

I like you.

And I think we could end up
loving each other.

Be still, my heart.

- You love me?
- Hell, no.

I actually think I'm starting
to fucking hate you.

Tami.
Hey!

Where are you going?

What the hell, Gallagher?

What do you want, Kelly?

Nineteen nails in my tires.

Sugar in my gas tank.

Someone fucked with your truck?
That's terrible.

You gonna try
and deny this, too?

"Heart Beaker"?

You telling me this wasn't you?

I know how to spell.

Carl?

Don't walk away
from me!

I thought we were friends!
Is this about you kissing me?

Because I'm sorry
I gave you the wrong signals,

but I'm not gay!

You broke Carl's heart, Kelly!

He may not be able to spell,
but he's a human being,

and he's throwing his life away
because of you.

What are you talking about?

Carl is quitting school

and going to work
at Captain Bob's full-time.

He's what?

You rejected him,

and West Point rejected him.

He's rejected,
and he's giving up,

and that is on you,
for encouraging him

to think that he could ever get
into fucking West Point

to begin with,

and making him fall in love
with you,

and goddamn it, for making me
fall in love with you, too.

But this isn't about me.

This is about Carl,

and he is giving up,
and that is on you,

so fuck you,
and fuck your dike-y-ass truck!

Fiona!

Didn't know
you were coming today.

I wasn't.

What, you busy?

Uh... You know what?

I'll fit you in my schedule.

Hi.

Mm.

What happened to your head?

A guy in the infirmary
had lice.

It was easier
just to buzz it.

So you're still working
in the infirmary?

Yeah, well, beats working
the laundry like Mickey,

plus, I get to put
my medical training to use.

Mickey washing undies.

You gotta send me a picture.

Yeah.

Everything okay at home?

Oh, well, the usual.

Frank broke his femur
and is laid up for six months,

driving us all crazy.

Okay.

Lip's girlfriend's pregnant.

Lip has a girlfriend?

Debbie's still convinced
she's gay.

Carl's working
at Captain Bob's.

Liam may be missing.

And I'm thinking maybe
it's time for me to go.

Go?

Leave.
Move someplace else.

Shit. I can't believe
I actually said it out loud.

Someplace else like--

Somewhere near the equator.

I'm sick of winters, you know?

Ice and sleet
and freezing my ass off.

Tell anyone else
about this yet?

Thought I'd try it out
on you first.

You should go.

What?

You should get the fuck out.
You deserve it.

You should go
as far away as you can.

You were hoping

that I was gonna try
and talk you out of it?

Maybe.

I'm scared.

And now I'm crying.

When would you leave?

Now.
Soon.

Before I chicken out.

Go.

Go as far away from here
as you can,

and don't ever look back, okay?

We'll always be here for you.

Always.

- Hey.
- Welcome back.

Yeah, uh, sorry.
Look, I'll, uh--

I'll make up the hours,
all right?

I know you will.

- Where is she?
- Out front.

Oh, and Oliver Twist
is still waiting

for you to show him
how to change a filter.

Fuck.

Hey, Jason.
I'll be right with you.

- All right?
- All right.

You guys have really shitty
reading material in this dump.

Got a better selection
over at the beauty salon?

Hell, yeah.

Gotta keep up
on Brad versus Angie.

Sorry.

Yeah.
You should be.

You've been kicking my ass
ever since you got pregnant.

I've been kicking your ass
since the first day we met.

I don't know why you like me.

I don't.

I'm hungry.

Do you want to
get something to eat?

Yeah, I, uh,

I got a couple bikes
I need to finish up.

Cool to wait?

Yeah.

All right.

You know the difference
between perpetual

and periodic inventory?

No idea.

You gotta know your par level
on every item.

Bread'n'Butter pickles
and clams

are particularly tricky.

Shit.

- Gallagher!
- What are you doing here?

Get off me.

What do you think you're doing?

Let me go.

You're going back, shithead.

Uh, wait, are you
law enforcement?

What?

Did he skip bail or something?

No. Friend.

Fuck you.

You think you can ruin
your life

- and blame me?
- Fuck.

- Let me go, Kelly.
- Wow, you're Kelly?

You're going
back to school, Carl.

Hey, is he gonna be able
to work

- his dinner shift tonight?
- Yes!

No! He just quit!

Now that's a woman.

Is Liam back from church yet?

- Yeah.
- Where is he?

In his room.

His room?

Liam!

Good afternoon, Deborah.

Enough, Liam.

Come on, let's go home.

Have you noticed anything
unusual about me?

What?

Like I'm black?

Yeah, I've noticed
that you're black.

- And you're not.
- Your point?

That you have never made
any attempt to surround me

with my own cultural
and racial heritage.

Whoa, you know
who all these people are?

I've been sleeping here
a couple nights a week

all summer,
and no one even noticed.

Know what else?

Mrs. Thompson cooks dinner
every night--real food--

and I get Lucky Charms
for breakfast.

I can buy you Lucky Charms.

Is that really enough,
you think,

for a young, proud man

of African descent
trying to find

his identity
in today's white America?

What's this?

My list of demands.

Once agreed upon,
I'll consider coming home.

Twenty-nine things?

Forty-six.
There's some on the back.

Book.

Where have you been?

Your daughter's made me read

The Hungry
goddamn Caterpillar

like, 20 times.

Caterpillar's dead, honey.

Someone stepped on it
and squished it.

So Liam's down
at the Thompsons',

said he's decided
he's black and wants us

to do a bunch of black shit.

Black shit?

His list of demands.

Look at you.

Ow, my shoe.

What?

What is Seamus doing here?

Mrs. Demopoulos said
we could borrow him

for a few weeks,
as long as we feed him.

He took great care of her
when she broke her hip.

Said he loves
to give sponge baths.

Sponge bath?

Yeah.
Come on, Seamus.

Let's get you a bucket
of warm water.

I've seen him eat cat feces

out of the sandbox
at the playground.

Book.

Can you undo my hands, please?
My arm is about to fall asleep.

Can I go now?

Are you going back to school?

No.

Shit, Carl.

Stop feeling sorry
for yourself and man up.

So you didn't get
into West Point, so what?

Those guys are
a bunch of pussies anyway.

Go to OTS.
Earn your commission

the old-fashioned way,
by being a tough motherfucker.

Who'd you rather serve under?

Some Westie dipshit

who wrote a paper
on Napoleon's Italian campaign,

or Carl Gallagher,
who can reload a MAC-10

while diving under an Impala
during a drive-by?

Exactly.

So are you done
being a pussy

and ready to get back
to being the man that I love?

Wait. What?

Damn, you're dense.

Now go ahead?

I need a beer.

You coming, asshole?

Hey, Fiona!
Found Liam.

He's moved down
to Todd's house.

He said he's not coming back
unless he gets his own room.

Quick shower,
and then we'll go to dinner?

- Lip!
- Okay. Yeah.

Fiona's leaving.

She's upstairs,
packing her stuff right now.

What?

Hey, you guys know
there's a giant dude

in your living room,
giving Frank a bath?

Keep your arm up now
till I finished under here.

So...

Yeah.

Where to?

Not sure.

Have, uh,
an educated guess, or...

I'll probably turn around
before I even make it

to the airport.

No, you won't.

Baby?

Who knows?

Life, right?

Take care of them for me,
will you?

Promise?

Promise.

That giant's name
is Seamus,

and he's trying to do
something to your dad

with salt water
and a turkey baster.

Oh, hi.

A'ight, well,
you're not going anywhere

without a goodbye party,
all right?

No.
- Yes, we are throwing you

a party, so shut the fuck up
and have a good time.

All right, Gallaghers!

Party!

Yo!

So Fiona is going

and we are going to throw her
a big-ass party.

All right?

Going?
Going where?

Nobody knows.

Carl, you're on pizza

and beer, yeah?

- I'll drive.
- Okay.

I'll go get Liam.

All right, I'll round up

Kev and V and, uh,

get the barbecue from Lem's.

- You can drive?
- Yeah.

Great.

Okay, wait, wait, wait.
Okay.

Here--wait.
Stop, no, for--

I can do it.
Sh--give me the sponge.

I can do it.

Get in there good, now.

- I know how to do it.
- Mm-hmm.

Going somewhere?

Everybody leave?

They're out gathering supplies

for your bon voyage
celebration.

You skipping the fun?

Yeah.
Afraid if I stay,

I might never leave.

It's getting
a little tepid there, Seamus.

Could you heat up the water?

Seamus?

Debbie's idea.

Free.

Well, I'll see you around.

You did a good job.

Monica wasn't up to it.
You stepped in and helped.

Thanks.

"Helped."

I did it all, Frank.

Yeah, well,

if that helps you sleep better.

See you around, Frank.

I doubt it.

Okay, lift me up.

Do my ass.

Hey!

The barbecue is back.

They were out of chicken,

but I got extra ribs!

Come on down!

Fiona!

Fiona?

Fiona!

Hey.

- Yo, big Phil!
- What's up, man?

Think I'd make a shitty dad?

What?
No.

You'd make a great dad.

Why, you think
about having kids?

Tami's pregnant.

No shit.

- Yep.
- Oh, man.

That's fantastic.
You're gonna love it.

Babies are the best.

I'm not sure
if she's interested

in me being too involved.

She said she thinks
I'd be a shitty dad.

- So.
- Huh.

I, uh--I thought
since you were a great father,

- that you'd--
- Thank you.

I don't know.
Maybe you'd have an opinion.

About what makes
a good father?

Yeah.
I, uh...

I didn't have much
of a role model at home.

- Frank.
- Yeah.

No shit.

I'm...not sure

if I even know
how to be a great father.

You just love 'em, man.

It's hard to fuck 'em up
if you just love 'em.

You think you can do that?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think so, too.

Holy shit.

What?

A check for $50,000

from Fiona.

Is there a note?

"Love you."

Yeah, she does.

All right!

Sorry.

That's my daughter, Sarah.
She really wanted

the window,
to see us take off,

if that's okay.
She's never been

on a plane before.

It's fine.

Let me know
if she bothers you.

I'm sure she won't bother me.

It's my first time
on a plane, too.