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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,050 --> 00:00:04,381 Okay, let's play. 2 00:00:04,850 --> 00:00:06,773 Where do we wanna be in a year? 3 00:00:08,210 --> 00:00:10,099 Lying in bed... 4 00:00:11,610 --> 00:00:13,931 drinking tea with my lady. 5 00:00:14,010 --> 00:00:16,934 Oh, perfection. Okay, me. 6 00:00:17,010 --> 00:00:19,980 So long as there is great music, fine tequila 7 00:00:20,050 --> 00:00:23,816 and a well-stocked dressing-up box, I am blissfully content. 8 00:00:23,827 --> 00:00:24,874 Hmm. 9 00:00:24,947 --> 00:00:27,678 Mitch, how about you? 10 00:00:27,747 --> 00:00:29,875 I was thinking about climbing the Himalayas. 11 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,836 Or trekking the Amazon? 12 00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:32,954 Mmm. 13 00:00:33,027 --> 00:00:34,791 What did you think when you thought about that? 14 00:00:34,867 --> 00:00:36,357 I thought I'll probably stay in bed. 15 00:00:39,667 --> 00:00:41,237 Ugh. 16 00:00:41,587 --> 00:00:42,793 Ugh. 17 00:00:43,027 --> 00:00:45,394 Ah, last night was fun, wasn't it? 18 00:00:45,467 --> 00:00:46,548 Mmm. 19 00:00:46,627 --> 00:00:47,992 Bloody hell, I was pissed. 20 00:00:48,067 --> 00:00:51,389 What was that club we ended up in, with all the candles 21 00:00:51,467 --> 00:00:53,674 and the men in dresses? 22 00:00:53,747 --> 00:00:55,351 Eh, so the cathedral? 23 00:00:56,467 --> 00:00:58,310 They have a drag night? 24 00:00:58,387 --> 00:00:59,434 No. 25 00:00:59,507 --> 00:01:00,952 Sunday morning Eucharist. 26 00:01:03,867 --> 00:01:05,551 Coming! 27 00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:07,157 Lovely boy. 28 00:01:07,227 --> 00:01:09,036 I think he's Polish. 29 00:01:09,187 --> 00:01:11,793 Can't understand a word, but he's great with his hands. 30 00:01:12,347 --> 00:01:15,430 I haven't abandoned you. I popped upstairs to talk about you. 31 00:01:15,627 --> 00:01:18,676 I love our little life, just me and my girl. 32 00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:21,388 And our gay... 33 00:01:21,627 --> 00:01:24,437 You know, he's had a different nationality every night this week. 34 00:01:24,507 --> 00:01:26,794 - Mmm. - He's like a randy Ban Ki-moon. 35 00:01:27,427 --> 00:01:28,588 Bonky Ban-ki. 36 00:01:29,107 --> 00:01:30,268 Wanky bonky Ban-ki. 37 00:01:30,347 --> 00:01:33,556 Jesus, it is so hot when you make jokes about secretary generals 38 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,709 of the United Nations. 39 00:01:35,787 --> 00:01:38,188 - Ravish me. - Oh, I will. 40 00:01:38,507 --> 00:01:40,874 Right up the Boutros Boutros-Ghali. 41 00:01:40,947 --> 00:01:43,234 Ooh. 42 00:01:45,427 --> 00:01:53,476 43 00:01:56,547 --> 00:02:00,108 Keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys... 44 00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:03,236 Bill, bill, bill. Brochure for a stairlift. 45 00:02:03,307 --> 00:02:04,388 Bill. 46 00:02:04,467 --> 00:02:07,755 It's good to see we're ticking the boxes for the rich, crippled demographic. 47 00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:10,194 Oh, bit of a breakfast disaster, we're out of milk. 48 00:02:10,267 --> 00:02:12,554 - Three, two, one... - Mmm. 49 00:02:12,627 --> 00:02:14,470 - Yes! - I want a re-count. 50 00:02:14,547 --> 00:02:17,027 Big night tonight, people. It's gonna be epic. 51 00:02:17,667 --> 00:02:18,828 Can't wait. 52 00:02:20,067 --> 00:02:22,593 I'll get my coat. Don't worry, you sit there. 53 00:02:22,747 --> 00:02:25,398 I only have to be in work in 10 minutes but it's okay, I'll get the milk. 54 00:02:25,467 --> 00:02:28,437 You chose paper, Alice! Respect the system. 55 00:02:28,547 --> 00:02:30,037 Morning. 56 00:02:30,747 --> 00:02:32,829 Morning, mate. Breakfast? 57 00:02:37,187 --> 00:02:40,191 Honey Puffs. Like, for children. 58 00:02:40,467 --> 00:02:43,311 Yeah, they're for his special new friends. 59 00:02:44,107 --> 00:02:47,111 We get through a lot of boxes. 60 00:02:52,747 --> 00:02:57,309 Oh, there's no milk so it's a bit dry. Sorry. 61 00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:04,908 To impending special birthdays. 62 00:03:07,827 --> 00:03:08,908 Thirty! 63 00:03:08,987 --> 00:03:11,991 It's not fair, why do I have to be the first to go? 64 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,638 And look at the two of you, 29 forever and ever. 65 00:03:14,707 --> 00:03:16,869 We're right behind you, sweetheart. 66 00:03:18,467 --> 00:03:20,868 Thirty and it's game over. 67 00:03:20,947 --> 00:03:23,678 No, no, no. It's just a new game. 68 00:03:23,747 --> 00:03:27,513 You were Grand Theft Auto and now you're more Cluedo. 69 00:03:27,587 --> 00:03:29,351 Okay, not helping. 70 00:03:44,227 --> 00:03:45,353 For a pound. 71 00:03:47,987 --> 00:03:50,069 - Two for a pound! - Whoo! 72 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:53,117 - Fuck you. - Just leave it, leave it. 73 00:03:53,187 --> 00:03:55,394 - Let's go on holiday. - Where? 74 00:03:55,547 --> 00:03:57,151 Let's go to Australia! 75 00:03:57,227 --> 00:03:59,878 Oh, there's no need, I've already been to Essex when it's sunny. 76 00:03:59,947 --> 00:04:01,631 Let's go to Kilkenny! 77 00:04:01,707 --> 00:04:05,428 Get the tunes on, DJ. 78 00:04:05,507 --> 00:04:07,987 Yes! Uh-huh. 79 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,078 Yeah. 80 00:04:12,227 --> 00:04:14,594 Whoa, whoa, what about the neighbours? 81 00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:16,556 Oh, they're gonna love this one. 82 00:04:16,667 --> 00:04:19,318 See, they're joining in. 83 00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:30,076 - Who wants drugs? - Hey. 84 00:04:32,387 --> 00:04:33,593 Next! 85 00:04:40,267 --> 00:04:41,951 Dance for me, dance for me. 86 00:04:42,027 --> 00:04:44,189 I love you! I love you. 87 00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:45,553 I love you. 88 00:04:45,627 --> 00:04:46,992 I just love you. 89 00:04:47,227 --> 00:04:48,797 - I love you. - I love you too. 90 00:04:51,107 --> 00:04:53,109 Oi, cheeky. 91 00:04:53,187 --> 00:04:54,348 - Cheeky. - It was an accident. 92 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:55,667 - Cheeky. - It was an accident. 93 00:04:55,747 --> 00:04:57,112 - It was a... - Cheeky, cheeky. 94 00:04:57,187 --> 00:04:58,837 - Off, off, off, off. - Off, off, off, off. 95 00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:01,148 - Off, off, off, off. - Off, off, off, off. 96 00:05:01,227 --> 00:05:02,831 Off! Off! 97 00:05:02,907 --> 00:05:04,671 - Off! Off! Off! - Yeah. 98 00:05:04,747 --> 00:05:06,670 Yeah! 99 00:05:11,467 --> 00:05:14,437 I'm so old! Honey, I'm so old! 100 00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:16,995 Oh, happy birthday. 101 00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:19,117 Happy birthday, sweet pea. 102 00:05:19,187 --> 00:05:20,234 Oh. 103 00:05:25,427 --> 00:05:28,237 Something to make me feel less old? 104 00:05:29,227 --> 00:05:30,911 Less boring? 105 00:05:32,267 --> 00:05:33,996 Less 30. 106 00:05:50,387 --> 00:05:52,594 No eye contact, no cock touching. Deal? 107 00:05:53,147 --> 00:05:54,308 Deal. 108 00:05:58,307 --> 00:05:59,877 Richard! 109 00:06:03,587 --> 00:06:05,191 Oh, my God. 110 00:06:05,707 --> 00:06:07,152 How bad are we? 111 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:10,908 Really, really, really, really, really, really, really bad. 112 00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:13,673 I hope I'm still gay. 113 00:06:14,147 --> 00:06:15,956 'Cause I'd miss the music. 114 00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:19,471 Weird is interesting, but I think once is enough. 115 00:06:20,587 --> 00:06:22,476 It makes you think though, honey. 116 00:06:24,587 --> 00:06:26,874 What the hell are we gonna do for your birthday? 117 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,243 I'm quite nervous. First day. What if I'm no good? 118 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,846 Hey, honey, you are a natural. 119 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,120 - Go knock yourself out. Literally. - All right. 120 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,489 It's for work. 121 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,684 Um, Mitch Ennis? 122 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,605 Oh. Fresh meat. 123 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,205 - Welcome to the team. - Thank you. 124 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,727 I'm Linda, you are in cubicle one. 125 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,610 And, you brought your own porn and tissues? 126 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:21,247 Yeah, yeah. Aloe vera soft ply. I thought I'd treat myself. 127 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,443 Of course, it's all for the kids, isn't it? 128 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:30,127 Oh, yes. Well, I believe the children are the future. 129 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,046 Now, you go on and wank us out a good batch, there's a love. 130 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,884 To your left. 131 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,764 I tell you what, mate, it's a dream job. 132 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,569 It's not a job, mate. 133 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,723 You're freelance on a wank-by-wank basis. 134 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,724 You're just jealous 'cause I made a vocation out of my hobby. 135 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,564 You're right, you're right. 136 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,250 How have we got away with this? 137 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,560 This supposedly surprise birthday. 138 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,086 She hasn't twigged yet, Alice always catches us out. 139 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,400 Yeah, I know. 140 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,721 - Maybe she's mellowing in her old age. - Maybe. 141 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,322 Hey, honeys, I'm home! 142 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,402 Oh, shit, she's home early. 143 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,250 - Hey. - Hey. 144 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,086 - How did it go? - Yeah, really good, loads came out. 145 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,367 Oh, well done, honey. 146 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,445 Anyone feel like a Filthy Pizza tonight? 147 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,601 Yeah, sounds good. 148 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,967 Brilliant, I'm looking forward to that. 149 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,486 She didn't... 150 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:35,687 How could she... 151 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,649 It's like she knew we were planning this. 152 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,564 We should probably get this up. 153 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,805 - You told her. - I had to. 154 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,803 You know how much Alice hates surprises. 155 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:47,043 - Mitch! You told her. - Ah, God. 156 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,687 You know what happened on her sixth birthday party. 157 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,604 - No. - Massive event, whole family there. 158 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:55,889 She walks in, they yell, "Surprise!" She shits herself. 159 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:00,966 Just for the record, I can't hear any of this conversation. 160 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:05,926 Surprise! 161 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,487 Oh, my God! What an actual surprise! 162 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:13,164 It's just so surprising to me! 163 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,481 - At least she didn't soil herself. - Good. 164 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,887 - What's going on? - Happy birthday, sweetheart. 165 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,405 Thank you. 166 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,330 I got you something. 167 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:53,721 It belonged to my granny, 168 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,531 the instruction in her will was to give it to the girl I married. 169 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,841 Of course, there's never gonna be that girl, 170 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,125 but there's you. 171 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,091 - Richie. - You like it? 172 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,491 I love it! 173 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:08,881 Is it a moth? 174 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,122 Moth... No, it's a butterfly. 175 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,645 Oh! 176 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,571 Richie, that is so sweet. I'm honoured! 177 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:18,086 Thank you, I love it! 178 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,766 - Hey, you know what? - What? What? 179 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,683 I'm gonna ask her to marry me. 180 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,205 What? What, now? 181 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,362 Yeah, now, I've just decided just now. 182 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,249 Amazing, mate. You do it! 183 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,164 - What, now? - Yeah. 184 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,730 You totally should. 185 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:35,885 Yeah, I totally should. 186 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,486 I totally could, I should. Yeah. 187 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:41,450 I'm gonna go over there and I'm gonna ask her to marry me. 188 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,648 I'm gonna ask her to marry me, be my wife. 189 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,529 - I'm gonna do that. - Do it! Do it! 190 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:46,726 Good luck! 191 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,561 Okay, sorry, everyone. Sorry, sorry. 192 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,325 Sorry, sorry. Is this on? You can all hear me, yeah? Okay, cool. 193 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:02,566 All right. 194 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:06,611 Uh, look, Alice, if you could just step forward for me, please, princess. 195 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,450 That's great. Okay. 196 00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:12,082 Well, it's... I mean, this has just been such an amazing night, 197 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:13,889 and just thanks all for coming. 198 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,089 And all your friends gathered for your 30th birthday party. 199 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:22,569 And I just want to say right now, right now, 200 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,530 right now. Okay... 201 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:26,681 Uh... 202 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,002 Happy Birthday! 203 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:31,891 I love you! 204 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,764 This one's a screamer. 205 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,007 Good call, mate. Good call. 206 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:44,650 What were we thinking? 207 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,882 - Alice hates surprises. - Yes. Yes. 208 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,602 Oh, Jesus. 209 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,380 Princess? Princess. 210 00:12:08,751 --> 00:12:10,321 Princess. 211 00:12:10,391 --> 00:12:13,122 It's too small for me, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, it's too small. 212 00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:15,398 I got it 'cause I thought we could do some kinky, 213 00:12:15,471 --> 00:12:17,360 Lois Lane rescue role-play. 214 00:12:17,431 --> 00:12:19,274 - Mitch, sit down. - Oh, cool, we're starting now? 215 00:12:19,351 --> 00:12:21,240 Miss Lane, let me take you to Krypton... 216 00:12:21,311 --> 00:12:22,597 Honey, please sit down now. 217 00:12:22,671 --> 00:12:24,719 I have something really important to tell you. 218 00:12:24,871 --> 00:12:26,680 What's wrong? 219 00:12:35,031 --> 00:12:36,521 - Is this... - Yeah. 220 00:12:36,791 --> 00:12:38,600 - Are you... - Yeah. 221 00:12:39,111 --> 00:12:40,954 - So we are... - Yes. 222 00:12:42,391 --> 00:12:43,552 I... 223 00:12:43,711 --> 00:12:46,954 Do you want to have her? 224 00:12:48,151 --> 00:12:49,676 If you want, uh... 225 00:12:49,751 --> 00:12:51,958 - If you want one. - Really? 226 00:12:53,191 --> 00:12:55,717 I mean, us? Now? 227 00:12:55,991 --> 00:12:59,712 Because I was thinking, you know, that maybe that we... 228 00:13:01,831 --> 00:13:03,117 - Shouldn't? - Shouldn't. 229 00:13:03,191 --> 00:13:05,080 Oh, my God. Does that sound really bad if we say that? 230 00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:06,755 Oh, thank Christ. No! 231 00:13:06,831 --> 00:13:09,482 Oh. Oh, Alice. 232 00:13:09,551 --> 00:13:12,077 And I mean this from the bottom of my heart. 233 00:13:12,951 --> 00:13:15,192 - You will be a truly terrible mother. - Oh. 234 00:13:16,911 --> 00:13:20,996 Oh, honey. You know, you'll be a really shit dad. 235 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,315 Uh-huh. 236 00:13:22,514 --> 00:13:24,562 - Come here. - Oh. 237 00:13:25,634 --> 00:13:26,923 - Are you okay? - I'm all right. 238 00:13:26,925 --> 00:13:29,132 Mitch! Wait up. 239 00:13:29,565 --> 00:13:32,171 - Ooh. Don't you look smart. - Yeah? 240 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:34,168 Hmm. Give us a twirl. 241 00:13:34,845 --> 00:13:37,974 May I present Sir Shirt and Dame Trousers. 242 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,289 Your arse looks well fit. 243 00:13:40,365 --> 00:13:41,446 Don't I know it. 244 00:13:41,525 --> 00:13:44,335 - So, listen, this baby thing... - Um. 245 00:13:45,165 --> 00:13:46,371 Mate. 246 00:13:47,005 --> 00:13:49,053 Alice couldn't handle a baby. 247 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,134 I can barely handle Alice. 248 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,253 Plus, I'd be a terrible dad. 249 00:13:53,325 --> 00:13:54,486 Why? 250 00:13:54,565 --> 00:13:57,045 'Cause I'm not a grown up yet. 251 00:13:57,125 --> 00:14:01,767 And, to have a kid you need to be Superman. I'm Clark Kent. 252 00:14:01,845 --> 00:14:03,688 Oh, no, you're not. 253 00:14:03,765 --> 00:14:05,608 Clark Kent had a job. 254 00:14:05,685 --> 00:14:06,732 Come on. 255 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,695 - And, is there anyone with you? - No. 256 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:12,245 Easier on your own. Can't stand sympathy. 257 00:14:17,805 --> 00:14:18,852 Hey. 258 00:14:21,325 --> 00:14:23,487 One of our success stories. 259 00:14:23,565 --> 00:14:25,647 Wow, he's a big one, isn't he? 260 00:14:25,725 --> 00:14:27,250 No, Mitch, he's six. 261 00:14:27,405 --> 00:14:28,930 He started off bite-size. 262 00:14:29,005 --> 00:14:32,407 Yeah, sorry. I mean, I wasn't thinking. They do grow up, don't they? 263 00:14:32,485 --> 00:14:35,455 Oh, it's not just the kids, you should see the parents. 264 00:14:35,525 --> 00:14:38,847 Every man is a boy until he has a child. 265 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,650 Then you'd be amazed what he's capable of. 266 00:14:52,965 --> 00:14:54,012 Richie! 267 00:14:54,085 --> 00:14:56,531 Oh, man, I'd love to chat but I'm up to my eyes. 268 00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,528 Oh, mate, shut up. I fucked it. 269 00:14:58,605 --> 00:14:59,891 It's too soon, I'm not ready. 270 00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:02,172 - But you said... - Now I'm saying, 271 00:15:02,245 --> 00:15:03,895 I don't want her to do it until I'm sure. 272 00:15:03,965 --> 00:15:06,445 - But you said that... - Well, me and Alice, yeah, car crash. 273 00:15:06,525 --> 00:15:08,971 But it's never just me and her, is it? 274 00:15:09,045 --> 00:15:11,696 It's always me and her and you. 275 00:15:11,845 --> 00:15:13,449 Me? Why am I involved? 276 00:15:13,565 --> 00:15:16,887 Me and her look after the kid, you look after us. 277 00:15:16,965 --> 00:15:18,046 Could we? 278 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,696 Do you think? Could we? 279 00:15:26,045 --> 00:15:27,126 Oh, God. 280 00:15:27,925 --> 00:15:28,972 Excuse me, sorry. 281 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:44,706 - Princess? - No. 282 00:15:44,780 --> 00:15:45,906 You flatter me, Your Highness. 283 00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:47,067 Linda? What? 284 00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:50,349 Sorry to call, it turns out there's been a problem with your last sample. 285 00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,782 No, look, I'm about to lose signal, 286 00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:54,783 - I can't... - Yeah, it's about your test. 287 00:15:54,860 --> 00:15:57,511 - Test? - Yeah, it's about your sperm. 288 00:15:57,580 --> 00:16:00,026 - Sperm? - You might want to sit down. 289 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:01,386 I'd love to, really. 290 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:03,349 Uh, I'll let you get your breath bark. 291 00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:04,751 Yeah, not gonna happen. 292 00:16:04,820 --> 00:16:07,187 Five seconds, I'm unconscious. Talk quickly. 293 00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:11,106 Okay, um, they mislaid your results. You know what it's like, busy office. 294 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:14,150 And I did say to them, "If you respect the system then..." 295 00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:16,791 What's wrong with my sperm, Linda? 296 00:16:16,860 --> 00:16:19,431 Right, um, you see it's... 297 00:16:19,540 --> 00:16:20,701 Um... 298 00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:23,260 You're infertile. 299 00:16:31,054 --> 00:16:32,738 Alice, don't do it! 300 00:16:32,814 --> 00:16:33,895 Richie. 301 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:41,096 I've spoken to Mitch and we'll support you whatever, but just listen, 302 00:16:41,294 --> 00:16:42,739 'cause all of us three... 303 00:16:43,134 --> 00:16:46,138 I mean, not just you and Mitch, 'cause, my God, that is scary. 304 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:50,458 But together, us. Have the baby. 305 00:16:50,854 --> 00:16:51,935 Us. 306 00:16:52,014 --> 00:16:53,743 - Us? - Yeah. 307 00:16:53,814 --> 00:16:55,782 Look, you get single parents, they do okay. 308 00:16:55,854 --> 00:16:57,822 This is like, three times better. 309 00:16:57,894 --> 00:17:02,024 And I swear to you, I will love this child like my own. 310 00:17:02,734 --> 00:17:04,259 Mitch. 311 00:17:04,614 --> 00:17:09,415 Hello, mate, I was just telling Alice how... 312 00:17:10,734 --> 00:17:12,179 Congratulations. 313 00:17:12,934 --> 00:17:13,981 It's yours. 314 00:17:15,774 --> 00:17:18,175 How? How is this even possible? We used a condom. 315 00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:19,938 Yeah, well, they're not always 100%. 316 00:17:20,014 --> 00:17:22,460 - Infertile, brilliant. - Oh. Oh, no 317 00:17:22,534 --> 00:17:24,536 And, also, I've been fired from the sperm bank. 318 00:17:24,614 --> 00:17:26,378 So, you know, can't even hold down a job as a wanker. 319 00:17:26,454 --> 00:17:27,944 I can't have a kid. 320 00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:29,857 That's not part of the gay plan. 321 00:17:30,254 --> 00:17:32,575 Now, it's okay. We'll get rid of it. Back to plan 322 00:17:32,654 --> 00:17:34,543 What? You said you'd love it like your own! 323 00:17:34,614 --> 00:17:37,220 - Well, it wasn't mine then. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. 324 00:17:37,294 --> 00:17:38,705 You wanna keep it now? 325 00:17:38,774 --> 00:17:40,264 I thought you wanted me to. 326 00:17:40,334 --> 00:17:43,736 Oh, I see, so when it's mine, you want to get rid of it, but when it's his... 327 00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,379 So now you want me to go through with it? 328 00:17:45,454 --> 00:17:46,979 Hey, that's my kid in there. 329 00:17:47,054 --> 00:17:49,455 - You don't want it. - I don't know what I want. 330 00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:50,820 Burger. 331 00:17:52,294 --> 00:17:54,945 I get stressed, I get hungry, I get burger. 332 00:17:56,934 --> 00:17:59,335 Can you take my order back from the beginning... 333 00:17:59,414 --> 00:18:01,337 It's my body, my choice. 334 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,223 Yeah, and now I know where I stand. 335 00:18:03,294 --> 00:18:05,058 Below Richie and Richie's kid. 336 00:18:05,134 --> 00:18:07,296 - Do you want to kill my baby? - Yeah, so do you. 337 00:18:07,374 --> 00:18:09,376 Well, I might not want to now. 338 00:18:09,454 --> 00:18:11,422 Oh. Well, then, neither do I. 339 00:18:11,494 --> 00:18:13,496 So there, call your bluff. Let's keep it. 340 00:18:13,574 --> 00:18:15,383 Oi, keep it down a bit, eh? 341 00:18:16,174 --> 00:18:17,255 Yeah? 342 00:18:17,334 --> 00:18:18,574 Yeah? And who are you? 343 00:18:18,694 --> 00:18:19,820 I'm the manager. 344 00:18:20,414 --> 00:18:22,223 Oh, right. Okay, sorry. 345 00:18:22,294 --> 00:18:25,821 Well, this is the girl I love, Alice. Hello, Alice. 346 00:18:25,894 --> 00:18:28,022 And this is our best friend, Richie. Hello, Richie. 347 00:18:28,094 --> 00:18:31,257 Richie's gay, by the way, and Alice is having his baby. 348 00:18:31,334 --> 00:18:32,699 So manage that. 349 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,219 It's yours, Richie. 350 00:18:40,334 --> 00:18:42,143 I've got your baby inside me. 351 00:18:45,294 --> 00:18:46,659 I'm going home. 352 00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:47,895 Just regular. 353 00:18:47,974 --> 00:18:51,740 And a large... No, a medium... A medium Coke. 354 00:18:52,814 --> 00:18:53,895 Richie. 355 00:18:54,414 --> 00:18:55,700 - Hey. - No. No, you're not. 356 00:18:55,774 --> 00:18:56,855 - Give me back my Oyster card. - No, no. 357 00:18:56,934 --> 00:18:58,459 Alice, do not throw that down the drain! 358 00:18:58,534 --> 00:19:00,024 - Promise me you'll stay! - No! 359 00:19:00,094 --> 00:19:01,983 - Three, two... - All right, okay. 360 00:19:02,054 --> 00:19:03,180 Okay. 361 00:19:10,654 --> 00:19:15,103 Richie, I need a word. Alice, get yourself a Coke. 362 00:19:15,734 --> 00:19:18,704 I can't drink Coke. It's bad for the baby. 363 00:19:19,294 --> 00:19:22,776 Oh, and the abortion will just be brilliant for the little fella. 364 00:19:32,814 --> 00:19:34,054 Right. 365 00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:41,495 The thing is, what if she wants your baby more than mine? 366 00:19:41,574 --> 00:19:43,815 Mitch, you know she doesn't. 367 00:19:43,894 --> 00:19:45,623 This is about all of us. 368 00:19:45,734 --> 00:19:50,262 But then, there's this little... thing. 369 00:19:50,694 --> 00:19:52,378 This accident. 370 00:19:52,694 --> 00:19:55,903 Our biggest ever "whoops". 371 00:19:56,334 --> 00:19:58,257 And it could hold us all together. 372 00:19:59,214 --> 00:20:01,421 The party can't go on forever, Mitch. 373 00:20:02,654 --> 00:20:05,260 So, who do we wanna be when the music stops? 374 00:20:20,734 --> 00:20:24,864 Alice Heston, will you marry me and have his baby? 375 00:20:29,374 --> 00:20:30,500 Yes. 376 00:20:37,054 --> 00:20:38,180 Yes! 377 00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:46,215 They have no idea what they're cheering for. 378 00:20:54,374 --> 00:20:56,263 No, I'll make you a herbal tea. 379 00:20:56,334 --> 00:20:59,702 Caffeine's bad for the baby. But we are out of herbal tea. 380 00:20:59,774 --> 00:21:02,015 So you know the score. One, two, three... 381 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,700 - Yeah. - Oh, re-count. 382 00:21:04,774 --> 00:21:05,980 Oh, no. 383 00:21:06,094 --> 00:21:08,142 No. I'm pregnant, so... 384 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,301 So what? The deal is... I'll get my coat. 385 00:21:15,414 --> 00:21:18,338 Ooh. I'm gonna like this. 386 00:21:18,659 --> 00:21:49,219 387 00:21:49,269 --> 00:21:53,819 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 27405

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