Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,905 --> 00:00:10,484
I've always had a simultaneous fear of,
2
00:00:10,485 --> 00:00:12,662
and attraction toward, the unknown.
3
00:00:13,872 --> 00:00:16,334
And in these fucking
dark and scary times,
4
00:00:16,335 --> 00:00:20,194
it's easy to adopt a "What
difference does it make?" attitude.
5
00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:23,910
So I often find myself
in these situations
6
00:00:23,911 --> 00:00:27,727
where my heart's pounding so
fast I can barely breathe.
7
00:00:28,689 --> 00:00:33,067
And I can't tell if it's
excitement or terror or both.
8
00:00:33,068 --> 00:00:34,671
- No!
- It's not like I'm brave
9
00:00:34,672 --> 00:00:37,220
or anything, it's more
10
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,923
reckless stupidity,
11
00:00:41,123 --> 00:00:42,650
an adrenaline fix,
12
00:00:43,699 --> 00:00:47,115
throwing myself into the
void to see what happens.
13
00:00:53,258 --> 00:00:54,854
No!
14
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,089
Help me!
15
00:01:05,378 --> 00:01:08,423
Harder! Harder!
16
00:01:08,424 --> 00:01:09,471
Dave?
17
00:01:09,472 --> 00:01:10,512
Oh, shit!
18
00:01:10,513 --> 00:01:11,703
My husband's home!
19
00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:12,916
Oh, shit.
20
00:01:12,917 --> 00:01:15,149
What should I do?
21
00:01:17,717 --> 00:01:19,152
Dave, where are you?!
22
00:01:19,153 --> 00:01:20,588
In here, babe.
23
00:01:35,579 --> 00:01:37,840
So yeah, I realized that one day
24
00:01:37,841 --> 00:01:39,725
these crazy adventures
will probably get me
25
00:01:39,726 --> 00:01:42,485
into some gigantic trouble
I can't get out of.
26
00:01:42,486 --> 00:01:44,840
_
27
00:01:44,841 --> 00:01:46,809
But it's almost like
I can't help myself.
28
00:01:50,908 --> 00:01:53,911
I do shit sometimes and I
really don't know why.
29
00:01:57,104 --> 00:01:58,744
To avoid boredom, I guess.
30
00:02:00,455 --> 00:02:01,828
To feel alive.
31
00:02:03,502 --> 00:02:05,721
Just for the fucking fuck of it.
32
00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:12,270
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
33
00:02:49,525 --> 00:02:50,726
Ah.
34
00:02:53,277 --> 00:02:54,477
Sorry, dude.
35
00:02:55,366 --> 00:02:56,566
Whatever.
36
00:02:57,586 --> 00:02:59,044
Hey, Severine.
37
00:03:00,262 --> 00:03:02,524
I thought you were sleeping out tonight.
38
00:03:02,525 --> 00:03:04,625
Yeah, uh, I'm not.
39
00:03:07,248 --> 00:03:10,455
Anyhoo, please, continue.
40
00:03:11,252 --> 00:03:12,661
Goodnight, Ulysses.
41
00:03:12,662 --> 00:03:14,078
Goodnight.
42
00:03:14,079 --> 00:03:15,603
Night, dude.
43
00:03:17,366 --> 00:03:20,700
So, Ford and I have a sort
of strange relationship.
44
00:03:21,793 --> 00:03:24,962
We've been roommates since college
45
00:03:24,963 --> 00:03:28,289
and we kind of drunk messed
around once freshman year.
46
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:31,031
I love him unconditionally
47
00:03:31,032 --> 00:03:34,730
and if he had even one
sexually ambiguous molecule
48
00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:36,654
in his body, we'd probably be married,
49
00:03:36,655 --> 00:03:40,518
but Ford's that truly rare Kinsey zero
50
00:03:40,519 --> 00:03:43,391
in contrast to my ever oscillating four,
51
00:03:43,392 --> 00:03:45,610
which means I'm not so totally queer
52
00:03:45,611 --> 00:03:49,063
that I haven't rubbed out a few
fantasizing about Severine.
53
00:03:49,064 --> 00:03:52,762
Everything in my life right
now is a question mark,
54
00:03:52,763 --> 00:03:56,022
which pretty much explains
what this thing is about.
55
00:03:56,023 --> 00:03:57,636
It's definitely not a vlog.
56
00:03:57,637 --> 00:04:01,409
It's more of a place to
download the random shit
57
00:04:01,410 --> 00:04:04,652
that's in my head to keep
it from like exploding.
58
00:04:04,653 --> 00:04:09,042
Back in school, I thought
I wanted to be an actor,
59
00:04:09,043 --> 00:04:11,810
but once I got to LA,
I quickly discovered
60
00:04:11,811 --> 00:04:14,161
that's probably the lamest,
most soul-crushing thing
61
00:04:14,162 --> 00:04:15,567
I could do with my life.
62
00:04:15,568 --> 00:04:18,339
And Ford is that sad LA cliché,
63
00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:19,912
an aspiring screenwriter.
64
00:04:19,913 --> 00:04:23,474
But movies are even more
irrelevant now than books.
65
00:04:23,475 --> 00:04:27,230
It's all stupid superheroes
and YA bullshit.
66
00:04:27,231 --> 00:04:29,602
And thanks to Instagram,
art and photography,
67
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,874
all of that's pretty
much obsolete now too,
68
00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:33,559
so lacking a better outlet,
69
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:38,382
here I am talking to myself in the dark.
70
00:04:45,993 --> 00:04:47,761
But also,
71
00:04:47,762 --> 00:04:50,940
there's something weird going on
72
00:04:50,941 --> 00:04:55,436
that I feel I need to document.
73
00:04:58,877 --> 00:05:00,552
I've been having this nightmare,
74
00:05:00,553 --> 00:05:02,816
the same one over and over,
75
00:05:02,817 --> 00:05:05,172
two or three times a
week for the past month.
76
00:05:05,173 --> 00:05:06,219
No!
77
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,107
And it's so vivid and freakishly real
78
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:12,132
that when I wake up, it's still
there hovering over me like
79
00:05:12,133 --> 00:05:14,090
it's not just a dream,
80
00:05:14,091 --> 00:05:17,311
like it's trying to tell me something.
81
00:05:17,312 --> 00:05:20,701
Maybe smoke a smidge
less pot before bedtime?
82
00:05:20,702 --> 00:05:22,009
Carly, I'm being serious.
83
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,923
Don't you ever get bizarre premonitions?
84
00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:28,322
- No.
- Well, I do and I'm a double Scorpio.
85
00:05:28,323 --> 00:05:30,137
It's the most psychic of all the signs.
86
00:05:30,138 --> 00:05:33,457
And I've had premonitions
before, but this is different.
87
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,712
It's like we're teetering on the
brink of total annihilation.
88
00:05:36,713 --> 00:05:40,064
Okay, well, that's every fucking day now
89
00:05:40,065 --> 00:05:42,766
in this tragic shit show
era we're living in.
90
00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:46,005
But anyway, are you still
cyber-stalking that guy?
91
00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:47,634
- Gabriel.
- Mm.
92
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,970
Yeah. We were supposed to
hang out last night, but...
93
00:05:50,971 --> 00:05:54,153
Oh, let me guess, he flaked.
94
00:05:55,089 --> 00:06:00,115
Hey, look, this guy's a
gnarly 300-pound catfish.
95
00:06:00,116 --> 00:06:02,023
That's why I've been pushing
to meet in real life.
96
00:06:02,024 --> 00:06:03,198
Look, check it out.
97
00:06:03,199 --> 00:06:06,113
- Oh. He is pretty.
- Right?
98
00:06:06,114 --> 00:06:09,421
I know it sounds hokey, but I just get
this vibe that we're destined to be.
99
00:06:09,422 --> 00:06:11,453
Okay, double Scorpio.
100
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:14,542
Honestly, just looking at him
makes me dizzy and hard.
101
00:06:14,543 --> 00:06:16,239
You know, when I first met Jethro,
102
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,807
seeing him sneeze would make me cum,
103
00:06:18,808 --> 00:06:21,679
but now, like uh, last night,
in the middle of fucking,
104
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:27,829
Jethro leans in and for some
ungodly reason, whispers...
105
00:06:27,830 --> 00:06:29,687
Mm, teach me, baby, teach me.
106
00:06:29,688 --> 00:06:31,042
What?
107
00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:32,062
Teach me!
108
00:06:32,063 --> 00:06:34,039
Is that something you
got from a bad porno?
109
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,389
Oh, come on, baby!
110
00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:37,307
Yeah, teach me how to drive you wild!
111
00:06:37,308 --> 00:06:38,668
Yes, baby!
112
00:06:38,669 --> 00:06:40,222
Make me a student!
113
00:06:40,223 --> 00:06:42,134
I'm a vessel for your pleasure!
114
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,416
Yeah!
115
00:06:43,417 --> 00:06:45,094
Ah, teach me, baby!
116
00:06:45,095 --> 00:06:46,051
- Come on, yeah!
- Can you just slow down
117
00:06:46,052 --> 00:06:47,304
a little bit, please?!
118
00:06:47,305 --> 00:06:49,054
Teach me, baby! Teach me!
119
00:06:49,055 --> 00:06:51,187
- Oh, shit.
- And it gets worse.
120
00:06:51,188 --> 00:06:54,725
He wants me to go to his fucking
meditation class tonight.
121
00:06:54,726 --> 00:06:56,469
But meditating gives you anxiety.
122
00:06:56,470 --> 00:06:57,497
Yeah, I know.
123
00:06:57,498 --> 00:07:00,802
It's so easy for him. His brain,
his natural resting state,
124
00:07:00,803 --> 00:07:03,765
is just a blank void of nothingness.
125
00:07:06,116 --> 00:07:07,899
Is it the catfish?
126
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:09,727
Oh, shit, really? What'd he say?
127
00:07:09,728 --> 00:07:11,599
That he wants to meet tonight.
128
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,211
Okay, well, my advice, set the bar low.
129
00:07:15,212 --> 00:07:18,095
Very low.
130
00:07:19,911 --> 00:07:24,220
♪ Sanctify the love
that you crave, crave ♪
131
00:07:24,221 --> 00:07:29,138
♪ Oh, and I won't, and I won't,
and I won't be ashamed ♪
132
00:07:29,139 --> 00:07:31,836
♪ Sanctify my sins when I pray ♪
133
00:07:31,837 --> 00:07:35,292
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
134
00:07:35,293 --> 00:07:40,085
- ♪ When I pray ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
135
00:07:41,189 --> 00:07:43,833
♪ You'll find redemption ♪
136
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,035
Hey.
137
00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:47,266
How's the script coming?
138
00:07:48,308 --> 00:07:50,028
I've seen you here before.
139
00:07:50,029 --> 00:07:51,230
Oh.
140
00:07:52,184 --> 00:07:53,815
It's going great.
141
00:07:53,816 --> 00:07:56,148
- You a writer too?
- No.
142
00:07:56,149 --> 00:07:57,650
Actually, I'm a producer.
143
00:07:57,651 --> 00:08:01,147
Oh, no shit. Cool.
144
00:08:01,599 --> 00:08:03,926
You should send me one of your scripts.
145
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:08,133
- For real?
- Yes.
146
00:08:08,134 --> 00:08:11,415
You look like a ambitious,
hardworking young man.
147
00:08:12,690 --> 00:08:14,138
Email me.
148
00:08:14,845 --> 00:08:16,533
Oh, wow.
149
00:08:16,534 --> 00:08:19,653
Okay, Mr. Powers.
150
00:08:19,654 --> 00:08:22,652
Please. Barnabas.
151
00:08:25,634 --> 00:08:28,498
Ford. Ford Halstead.
152
00:08:28,499 --> 00:08:30,559
Great to meet you, Ford.
153
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,518
Well, I'll let you get back to work.
154
00:08:33,519 --> 00:08:36,296
Cool! I'll email you.
155
00:08:36,297 --> 00:08:37,491
Looking forward to it.
156
00:08:42,443 --> 00:08:44,990
_
157
00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:48,377
_
158
00:08:49,049 --> 00:08:51,822
_
159
00:08:53,703 --> 00:08:55,032
_
160
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:57,688
They keep fucking me.
161
00:08:59,212 --> 00:09:00,412
I tell them no,
162
00:09:01,766 --> 00:09:03,343
but they keep fucking me.
163
00:09:03,344 --> 00:09:05,457
They keep fucking me!
164
00:09:05,458 --> 00:09:06,565
Fucking me!
165
00:09:07,366 --> 00:09:08,998
And they won't stop.
166
00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:16,651
Please, make them stop.
167
00:09:18,338 --> 00:09:19,817
Make them stop.
168
00:09:40,335 --> 00:09:42,097
Severine Bordeaux.
169
00:10:03,913 --> 00:10:05,436
Hello, Severine.
170
00:10:07,003 --> 00:10:09,047
Lars. Klaus.
171
00:10:10,022 --> 00:10:11,958
Looks like I didn't miss anything.
172
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,738
Yes, the man is running late as usual.
173
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:17,959
I think they keep us waiting on
purpose, to build anticipation.
174
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,815
And to make our work seem even
more highly classified than it is.
175
00:10:20,816 --> 00:10:23,534
Actually, I heard this new assignment
176
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,603
is a genuine priority level one.
177
00:10:26,382 --> 00:10:27,795
Really?
178
00:10:27,796 --> 00:10:28,996
Who told you this?
179
00:10:31,017 --> 00:10:33,140
If I revealed my sources,
180
00:10:33,141 --> 00:10:34,918
I'd have to kill you.
181
00:10:41,571 --> 00:10:43,034
I don't know, Uly.
182
00:10:43,035 --> 00:10:45,726
Sometimes a dream is just a dream.
183
00:10:45,727 --> 00:10:48,533
Yeah, but then, but then sometimes,
184
00:10:49,580 --> 00:10:50,962
sometimes it's more.
185
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:52,951
Dude, do you remember that time
186
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:55,083
you were so convinced an
earthquake was coming?
187
00:10:55,084 --> 00:10:56,606
You went out, you bought a bunch of soup
188
00:10:56,607 --> 00:10:58,695
and water and batteries?
189
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,498
This is different than that.
190
00:11:02,157 --> 00:11:03,915
Is it?
191
00:11:03,916 --> 00:11:06,964
Anyway, huh, isn't it awesome
what happened today?
192
00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:08,092
What?
193
00:11:08,093 --> 00:11:10,646
That producer gave me his business card.
194
00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:12,348
Oh, right.
195
00:11:12,349 --> 00:11:14,235
So is he... is he for real?
196
00:11:14,236 --> 00:11:15,495
What do you mean?
197
00:11:15,496 --> 00:11:17,409
As in does he have credits?
198
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,915
That, that aren't porn.
199
00:11:18,916 --> 00:11:21,283
Yeah. I already checked.
200
00:11:21,284 --> 00:11:23,894
Just be careful, okay? 'Cause he
could be a serial killer or...
201
00:11:23,895 --> 00:11:25,417
Okay, paranoid.
202
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:29,552
♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪
203
00:11:29,553 --> 00:11:32,990
Hey, so, um, I'm gonna be
a, a little bit behind
204
00:11:32,991 --> 00:11:34,803
on, on the rent again, this month.
205
00:11:34,804 --> 00:11:37,386
Ah, no big. I got it.
206
00:11:37,387 --> 00:11:39,898
I know, I just, I don't wanna be a scab.
207
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,491
Hey, I said don't worry about it.
208
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,958
It was my idea to move to
Cali in the first place.
209
00:11:43,959 --> 00:11:46,221
Plus, I'm the one with the
rich parents, so whatevs.
210
00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:50,660
Seriously, bro, man, I'm just so glad
211
00:11:50,661 --> 00:11:52,357
we're out here together.
212
00:11:52,358 --> 00:11:55,586
You and me, man, living the dream!
213
00:12:01,831 --> 00:12:03,107
You know what I mean?
214
00:12:15,056 --> 00:12:16,381
Know what?
215
00:12:16,382 --> 00:12:18,370
Why don't we cut the bullshit
216
00:12:18,994 --> 00:12:21,581
and go over into those
bushes over there and fuck?
217
00:12:25,087 --> 00:12:26,463
- You all right?
- Yeah.
218
00:12:27,155 --> 00:12:28,393
Yup.
219
00:12:28,394 --> 00:12:29,873
You stoned or something?
220
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,553
- You ready to head back down?
- Yeah, yeah.
221
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:35,537
- All right.
- Mm-hm.
222
00:12:35,538 --> 00:12:36,777
I'll race you to the bottom.
223
00:12:36,778 --> 00:12:37,851
Mm-hm.
224
00:12:38,771 --> 00:12:39,839
Mm-hm.
225
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,481
You home already? I thought
you had a coffee date.
226
00:12:52,723 --> 00:12:56,379
I did. I barely sat down
and the guy asked me if
227
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:57,835
I would rim him.
228
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:02,036
- Oh.
- Hmm.
229
00:13:02,037 --> 00:13:04,003
What are you doing?
230
00:13:04,004 --> 00:13:07,152
Just memorizing my lines
for acting class tomorrow.
231
00:13:08,179 --> 00:13:11,654
I feel like guys on Tinder
are so used to getting sex
232
00:13:11,655 --> 00:13:13,202
that they don't even
make an effort anymore.
233
00:13:13,203 --> 00:13:16,137
Like, this one guy, he
sent me the martini emoji,
234
00:13:16,138 --> 00:13:19,444
then the eggplant, then just
expected me to fuck him.
235
00:13:19,445 --> 00:13:20,844
Maybe he was foreign?
236
00:13:21,344 --> 00:13:24,841
I've just encountered a
lot of assholes on there.
237
00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:26,460
It's a numbers game.
238
00:13:26,461 --> 00:13:28,453
I mean, you have a lot of asshole dick,
239
00:13:28,454 --> 00:13:31,639
but you also have dick
of every other kind too.
240
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,356
Yeah, I know, which is like
dicks flying at me 24/7.
241
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,890
Exactly.
242
00:13:37,769 --> 00:13:39,856
I don't know, I might delete it.
243
00:13:39,857 --> 00:13:43,599
Maybe it's true, you can't
find romance through a screen.
244
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,645
That is something that old people say
245
00:13:45,646 --> 00:13:48,169
because they resent the fact
that we don't have to go
246
00:13:48,170 --> 00:13:50,954
and troll gross bars
for sex like they did.
247
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,652
Let me see your profile.
248
00:13:52,653 --> 00:13:54,285
Come here.
249
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,600
You look like you're
hosting a reality show
250
00:14:04,601 --> 00:14:08,587
called Extreme Brunch, or something.
251
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:14,325
Do you have like, any photos
of you wearing less clothing?
252
00:14:14,326 --> 00:14:18,500
Like, like showing less personality?
253
00:14:20,507 --> 00:14:24,292
Pretty cool that producer
coming up to me today, huh?
254
00:14:24,293 --> 00:14:26,105
Yeah, incredible.
255
00:14:26,106 --> 00:14:28,602
Yeah, it's like I've only
been out here six months
256
00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:31,299
and things are already
starting to happen for me.
257
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,083
So, Sev.
258
00:14:33,084 --> 00:14:34,379
Mm-hmm?
259
00:14:35,246 --> 00:14:36,957
We've been seeing each other a while now
260
00:14:36,958 --> 00:14:41,617
and I was wondering if...
261
00:14:42,478 --> 00:14:44,675
it was cool that I called
you my girlfriend.
262
00:14:45,292 --> 00:14:47,054
You can call me whatever you want.
263
00:14:47,055 --> 00:14:49,143
I'm not precious about the terminology.
264
00:14:49,144 --> 00:14:51,930
Okay, so uh, we're like,
265
00:14:52,973 --> 00:14:54,430
exclusive, then?
266
00:14:54,431 --> 00:14:56,632
Ford, we've discussed this.
267
00:14:56,633 --> 00:14:58,152
You know I believe that monogamy
268
00:14:58,153 --> 00:14:59,849
is a form of social control,
269
00:14:59,850 --> 00:15:01,797
which is contrary to our nature.
270
00:15:02,375 --> 00:15:03,716
What?
271
00:15:03,717 --> 00:15:06,334
For centuries, humans
migrated in egalitarian
272
00:15:06,335 --> 00:15:09,348
hunter-gatherer groups
and shared everything,
273
00:15:09,349 --> 00:15:12,557
food, childcare, sexual partners.
274
00:15:12,558 --> 00:15:14,342
They were very promiscuous
275
00:15:14,343 --> 00:15:16,561
and it strengthened their relationships,
276
00:15:16,562 --> 00:15:18,302
but then agriculture came along
277
00:15:18,303 --> 00:15:20,087
and people became obsessed
278
00:15:20,088 --> 00:15:22,587
with ownership and private property.
279
00:15:23,374 --> 00:15:24,770
Oh, when was that?
280
00:15:25,370 --> 00:15:27,795
About 10,000 years ago.
281
00:15:28,270 --> 00:15:29,641
Oh.
282
00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:31,905
Is this uh...
283
00:15:32,395 --> 00:15:35,375
Is this about me not being
smart enough for you?
284
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:38,670
I know you're a rocket scientist and...
285
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,542
Astrobiological theorist.
286
00:15:40,543 --> 00:15:42,283
And no, Ford,
287
00:15:42,284 --> 00:15:44,938
I actually think you're extraordinary.
288
00:15:44,939 --> 00:15:48,965
Plus, you have the world's
most magnificent cock.
289
00:15:51,141 --> 00:15:52,180
Thanks.
290
00:15:52,181 --> 00:15:54,556
It's so magnificent, in fact,
291
00:15:54,557 --> 00:15:57,009
I'd feel guilty keeping
it all to myself.
292
00:15:57,010 --> 00:15:59,300
Modern relationships don't last
293
00:15:59,301 --> 00:16:02,259
because we expect too
much of our partners.
294
00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:04,738
They need to fulfill us emotionally,
295
00:16:04,739 --> 00:16:06,786
satisfy us sexually.
296
00:16:06,787 --> 00:16:09,654
That's a lot to ask of one person.
297
00:16:09,655 --> 00:16:14,512
Besides, future holds so
much chaos and uncertainty.
298
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:17,664
We must relish our
freedom while it lasts.
299
00:16:18,665 --> 00:16:22,108
- Uh, what?
- Nothing.
300
00:16:24,849 --> 00:16:28,628
If you're saying what I
think it is you're saying,
301
00:16:29,608 --> 00:16:33,029
if you, you know, um,
if you want to give
302
00:16:33,030 --> 00:16:36,539
the open relationship thing a try,
303
00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:39,610
I'm down.
304
00:16:42,192 --> 00:16:43,392
Really?
305
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:45,434
You're not just saying
that to make me happy?
306
00:16:46,334 --> 00:16:49,386
You know I have difficulties
reading social cues.
307
00:16:51,505 --> 00:16:52,705
I mean it.
308
00:16:57,107 --> 00:16:59,606
Okay, now pretend like you're laughing
309
00:16:59,607 --> 00:17:02,145
at a cute guy over there being funny.
310
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,539
But why am I wearing a
bikini in the living room?
311
00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,584
No one is thinking about that, Amber.
312
00:17:06,585 --> 00:17:09,627
This is literally just about
assessing your genetics.
313
00:17:11,787 --> 00:17:13,200
Oh, my God, okay,
314
00:17:13,201 --> 00:17:14,767
he's not, he's not like, that funny.
315
00:17:14,768 --> 00:17:17,500
- He's amusing.
- Okay.
316
00:17:19,511 --> 00:17:22,112
He's mildly amusing.
317
00:17:23,973 --> 00:17:25,173
Perfect.
318
00:17:29,326 --> 00:17:30,957
I look mean.
319
00:17:30,958 --> 00:17:32,784
No, you look confused.
320
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,134
You look hot and confused.
321
00:17:34,135 --> 00:17:36,005
That's the ideal combination.
322
00:17:36,006 --> 00:17:37,137
What?
323
00:17:37,138 --> 00:17:40,583
Oh, sorry. Hey.
324
00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:42,533
Oh, my God, are you watching it?
325
00:17:42,534 --> 00:17:44,813
- Watching what?
- Murderous Minds.
326
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,450
I told you, my episode's on tonight.
327
00:17:46,451 --> 00:17:47,843
Oh, uh, shit!
328
00:17:47,844 --> 00:17:49,149
Oh, my God, that's right, babe!
329
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,648
I totally forgot!
330
00:17:50,649 --> 00:17:52,413
That's so exciting!
331
00:17:52,414 --> 00:17:54,502
Fuck, Carly!
332
00:17:54,503 --> 00:17:55,938
Hope you didn't miss me.
333
00:17:55,939 --> 00:17:57,139
I've gotta set the DVR.
334
00:17:59,313 --> 00:18:01,204
- What's happening now?
- What do you mean?
335
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,789
On the show, Jesus!
336
00:18:03,790 --> 00:18:06,862
Um, it, it looks like two cops
337
00:18:06,863 --> 00:18:09,430
are investigating like, a crime scene.
338
00:18:09,431 --> 00:18:12,198
Okay, shit, you're just
in time. It's my scene.
339
00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:16,828
What's happening now?
340
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,574
They just zipped some
guy into a body bag.
341
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:19,799
Yes!
342
00:18:22,989 --> 00:18:24,588
Was that you?
343
00:18:24,589 --> 00:18:26,705
Uh yeah, what, couldn't you tell?
344
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:30,057
No, you were amazing.
345
00:18:30,058 --> 00:18:32,095
Ah, I'm sure.
346
00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:33,987
Was I?
347
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,195
Mm-hm.
348
00:18:35,196 --> 00:18:37,722
Yeah, you, you were great, Jethro.
349
00:18:37,723 --> 00:18:40,096
Oh, hey, Amber's there! Amber!
350
00:18:40,097 --> 00:18:43,532
- She uh, she see me too?
- Yup, she did.
351
00:18:43,533 --> 00:18:48,681
And uh, she thought you
were uh, very believable.
352
00:18:48,682 --> 00:18:52,225
14 fucking million
people watch that show.
353
00:18:52,226 --> 00:18:54,127
It's like I'm always telling you, Carly,
354
00:18:54,128 --> 00:18:55,750
it's about connecting the dots
355
00:18:55,751 --> 00:18:58,624
and maintaining a positive attitude.
356
00:18:59,324 --> 00:19:00,582
Which is why I really
wish you'd come with me
357
00:19:00,583 --> 00:19:02,280
to meditation class tonight.
358
00:19:02,281 --> 00:19:04,195
Yeah, I know, babe, but I told you,
359
00:19:04,196 --> 00:19:06,458
I need to work on my scene
for class tomorrow.
360
00:19:06,459 --> 00:19:10,332
Yeah, well, Car, the road to
failure is paved with excuses.
361
00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:14,074
Hey, babe, can we continue this later?
362
00:19:14,075 --> 00:19:16,816
Uly's on the other line,
probably having a crisis.
363
00:19:16,817 --> 00:19:18,331
I'm almost to work anyway.
364
00:19:18,332 --> 00:19:20,246
Just wanted to share my
moment of glory with ya.
365
00:19:20,247 --> 00:19:21,575
You were awesome, babe.
366
00:19:21,576 --> 00:19:24,607
Thanks, I'll swing by after
work for another lesson.
367
00:19:24,608 --> 00:19:26,756
Great. Okay, see ya.
368
00:19:27,813 --> 00:19:30,917
- Hey.
- Gabriel is 43 fucking minutes late.
369
00:19:30,918 --> 00:19:33,742
Like I said, low bar.
370
00:19:33,743 --> 00:19:35,991
What should I do now? Should I leave?
371
00:19:35,992 --> 00:19:39,598
Are you kidding? You lost all your
dignity like, 28 minutes ago.
372
00:19:39,599 --> 00:19:41,931
I know. Am I tragic?
373
00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,321
Don't, don't answer that.
374
00:19:43,322 --> 00:19:44,800
I was really hoping to, you know,
375
00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:46,790
finally solve the mystery of, oh, shit.
376
00:19:46,791 --> 00:19:48,684
- What? Is he there?
- Yeah.
377
00:19:48,685 --> 00:19:50,947
- I'll call you back.
- Okay, bye!
378
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:56,511
Ulysses. Oh, man, I am so sorry.
379
00:19:56,512 --> 00:19:58,249
You must think that I'm
the hugest flake ever,
380
00:19:58,250 --> 00:20:00,978
but class got out late, Waze
sent me to the wrong address,
381
00:20:00,979 --> 00:20:03,211
- and, and my phone died...
- It's, it's okay, it's okay...
382
00:20:03,212 --> 00:20:04,751
Don't worry about it.
383
00:20:04,752 --> 00:20:06,997
Seriously though, I'm big
on first impressions
384
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:09,708
and I feel so fucking bad.
385
00:20:10,541 --> 00:20:12,192
Well, you're here now, right?
386
00:20:12,874 --> 00:20:14,156
That's, that's all that matters.
387
00:20:14,157 --> 00:20:15,440
Yeah.
388
00:20:50,673 --> 00:20:51,691
Whoa.
389
00:20:51,692 --> 00:20:53,631
Holy crap, baby.
390
00:20:54,872 --> 00:20:57,265
Hey, Smokey. You miss me?
391
00:20:57,266 --> 00:20:58,476
Sure did.
392
00:20:58,477 --> 00:21:00,964
I want to drink you up
like a piña colada.
393
00:21:00,965 --> 00:21:05,838
Good, because I've been
a really bad girl.
394
00:21:05,839 --> 00:21:08,058
Ooh!
395
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:10,147
Ah!
396
00:21:11,584 --> 00:21:14,320
I really want to get to
know you, the real you.
397
00:21:14,321 --> 00:21:16,603
Are you sure you just
don't want me to like,
398
00:21:16,604 --> 00:21:18,012
finger myself or something?
399
00:21:18,013 --> 00:21:19,703
Could we just talk first?
400
00:21:20,419 --> 00:21:22,814
Like, what do you like most
about being a cam girl?
401
00:21:23,727 --> 00:21:29,187
Well, I uh, I have always wanted
a job I could do lying down.
402
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:30,389
Hm.
403
00:21:31,366 --> 00:21:32,711
Show me!
404
00:21:32,712 --> 00:21:35,250
Show me, you deviant little whore.
405
00:21:35,251 --> 00:21:37,392
You're so pitiful and weak!
406
00:21:37,393 --> 00:21:39,584
Just looking at you makes me sick.
407
00:21:39,585 --> 00:21:41,439
Get on your knees!
408
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:45,661
Damn. I so wish I hadn't scheduled
band practice for tonight.
409
00:21:45,662 --> 00:21:48,141
Ah, it, it's cool.
410
00:21:48,142 --> 00:21:49,795
It's just that a couple of weeks ago,
411
00:21:49,796 --> 00:21:52,363
I, I declared this embargo on hookups.
412
00:21:52,364 --> 00:21:54,322
I mean, you know they're fun, obviously,
413
00:21:54,323 --> 00:21:59,740
but I always just feel, well,
gross and pagan after.
414
00:21:59,741 --> 00:22:02,091
Yeah, no, uh, I know what you mean.
415
00:22:03,021 --> 00:22:05,115
So I, I made sure to make plans
416
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:08,205
so that no matter how hot you were,
417
00:22:08,206 --> 00:22:12,030
I, you know, would have
to restrain myself.
418
00:22:13,843 --> 00:22:16,198
No, it's, it's okay, I totally get it.
419
00:22:18,761 --> 00:22:20,580
We can hang out soon
again, though, right?
420
00:22:21,252 --> 00:22:22,426
Definitely.
421
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,222
- Oh, shit!
- What? What?
422
00:22:25,223 --> 00:22:28,268
I fucking forgot to charge my phone!
423
00:22:28,269 --> 00:22:32,422
I got so distracted, I can't
even text my band mates now.
424
00:22:32,949 --> 00:22:34,149
That sucks.
425
00:22:34,797 --> 00:22:39,033
I guess we'll jus... we'll
just have to hang out
426
00:22:41,479 --> 00:22:44,241
again soon...
427
00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:52,989
Come on.
428
00:23:01,281 --> 00:23:02,825
No, wait.
429
00:23:02,826 --> 00:23:04,174
What?
430
00:23:05,350 --> 00:23:06,983
I'm not blowing this, am I?
431
00:23:07,984 --> 00:23:09,255
What do you, What do you mean?
432
00:23:10,051 --> 00:23:12,138
Well, I'm gonna see you again, right?
433
00:23:12,139 --> 00:23:13,749
I mean, I'm not fucking
this up doing this?
434
00:23:13,750 --> 00:23:16,153
No, no, no, you're not fucking this up.
435
00:23:16,616 --> 00:23:20,031
Good, 'cause I seriously cannot
control myself right now.
436
00:23:22,919 --> 00:23:24,482
Handjobs only, though?
437
00:23:25,022 --> 00:23:26,222
What?
438
00:23:26,742 --> 00:23:28,265
For tonight, just handjobs?
439
00:23:29,302 --> 00:23:30,608
And save the rest for later?
440
00:23:31,269 --> 00:23:32,987
Yeah. Yeah.
441
00:23:33,374 --> 00:23:34,768
Okay, we need to hurry, though,
442
00:23:34,769 --> 00:23:37,221
'cause I literally only have
like, two minutes, okay?
443
00:23:40,799 --> 00:23:42,814
Oh, yeah, you like that, Worm?
444
00:23:42,815 --> 00:23:45,811
Mm-hm. Can you wiggle them?
445
00:23:45,812 --> 00:23:47,130
Like this, you mean?
446
00:23:47,131 --> 00:23:50,220
Yeah, keep wiggling. Keep wiggling.
447
00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:51,482
Worm, you know you need to ask me
448
00:23:51,483 --> 00:23:53,588
more respectfully than that.
449
00:23:53,589 --> 00:23:56,752
Please. Please wiggle your toes for me.
450
00:23:56,753 --> 00:23:58,011
Much better.
451
00:23:58,571 --> 00:24:00,565
Hell yeah.
452
00:24:00,566 --> 00:24:01,884
Keep wiggling.
453
00:24:02,605 --> 00:24:04,542
More, more wiggle.
454
00:24:04,851 --> 00:24:06,323
Oh, God.
455
00:24:11,076 --> 00:24:12,320
- Oh!
- God!
456
00:24:12,321 --> 00:24:14,679
Oh, oh, oh fuck!
457
00:24:16,769 --> 00:24:19,031
- Oh!
- Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!
458
00:24:36,644 --> 00:24:37,844
Fuck.
459
00:24:41,784 --> 00:24:43,706
What can I do for you, Mistress?
460
00:24:44,254 --> 00:24:45,515
I'm here to please you.
461
00:24:45,516 --> 00:24:46,975
I'll do anything you want.
462
00:24:48,911 --> 00:24:52,456
How about you do 30 naked pushups?
463
00:24:52,457 --> 00:24:54,371
Would that make Mistress happy?
464
00:24:54,372 --> 00:24:55,938
To be honest, no.
465
00:24:55,939 --> 00:24:58,027
I just... I don't really care.
466
00:24:58,028 --> 00:25:00,230
Well, what would make you truly happy?
467
00:25:00,231 --> 00:25:01,733
I'm here to serve you.
468
00:25:03,403 --> 00:25:04,603
Really?
469
00:25:06,711 --> 00:25:10,213
Do you want to run lines
with me for my acting class
470
00:25:10,214 --> 00:25:12,345
'cause I have to memorize
all these by tomorrow.
471
00:25:12,346 --> 00:25:14,652
Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that one.
472
00:25:14,653 --> 00:25:16,436
But you said you would do anything.
473
00:25:16,437 --> 00:25:18,090
Well, I know, but...
474
00:25:18,091 --> 00:25:19,570
Well, okay, well, what if I like,
475
00:25:19,571 --> 00:25:20,789
take my top off while I do it?
476
00:25:20,790 --> 00:25:21,833
Okay, sure.
477
00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:23,705
Cool. Great.
478
00:25:23,706 --> 00:25:24,836
Okay.
479
00:25:24,837 --> 00:25:29,275
So, you're Anne,
480
00:25:29,276 --> 00:25:31,411
and I'm Mary, okay?
481
00:25:32,607 --> 00:25:33,807
Okay.
482
00:25:35,740 --> 00:25:39,851
Do you feel as awful as you look?
483
00:25:39,852 --> 00:25:43,072
Why would you come here if all
you wanted to do was torment me?
484
00:25:43,073 --> 00:25:44,552
Hey, you're good.
485
00:25:44,553 --> 00:25:46,118
Hey!
486
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:47,380
Stay in character!
487
00:25:47,381 --> 00:25:48,425
Next line.
488
00:25:48,426 --> 00:25:49,626
Wow.
489
00:25:53,453 --> 00:25:55,388
That was kind of intense.
490
00:25:55,389 --> 00:25:56,590
Yeah.
491
00:26:04,421 --> 00:26:06,486
Seriously, I mean what was that?
492
00:26:06,487 --> 00:26:08,293
Was it, was it just me
or did, did it feel like
493
00:26:08,294 --> 00:26:11,509
the universe collapsed in on
itself for a second there?
494
00:26:11,510 --> 00:26:12,711
No, I felt it too.
495
00:26:14,779 --> 00:26:16,105
I'm almost afraid to see what happens
496
00:26:16,106 --> 00:26:17,928
when we actually have sex.
497
00:26:19,305 --> 00:26:22,894
Look, I, I realize that we just met
498
00:26:22,895 --> 00:26:26,985
and I, I don't want to sound too
psycho stalkery or anything,
499
00:26:26,986 --> 00:26:32,568
but something strange seems
to be going on here.
500
00:26:34,146 --> 00:26:35,951
Yeah.
501
00:26:35,952 --> 00:26:38,858
Yeah, I mean, it sort of...
it sort of feels like
502
00:26:39,935 --> 00:26:41,135
- fate.
- Fate.
503
00:26:46,768 --> 00:26:48,616
But I got to go, my band
mates are gonna kill me.
504
00:26:48,617 --> 00:26:50,487
Right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay.
505
00:26:50,488 --> 00:26:53,118
So uh, so when do I get to see you next?
506
00:26:53,713 --> 00:26:55,636
Well, whenever. I mean, whenever you...
507
00:26:55,637 --> 00:26:58,605
- How about tomorrow?
- Tomorrow's great.
508
00:26:59,518 --> 00:27:00,718
Cool.
509
00:27:01,739 --> 00:27:02,939
Oh, fuck.
510
00:27:07,484 --> 00:27:09,724
Okay, shit.
511
00:27:09,725 --> 00:27:10,738
Now I really got to go.
512
00:27:10,739 --> 00:27:13,055
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
513
00:27:33,292 --> 00:27:35,717
Holy fucking shit!
514
00:27:43,563 --> 00:27:45,384
Ow!
515
00:28:17,183 --> 00:28:18,729
Help me!
516
00:28:20,470 --> 00:28:22,037
Please!
517
00:28:29,174 --> 00:28:30,374
Please, help me!
518
00:28:32,767 --> 00:28:33,967
No!
519
00:28:35,224 --> 00:28:36,854
Oh, God!
520
00:28:36,855 --> 00:28:39,228
No! No!
521
00:28:51,335 --> 00:28:52,728
Oh, God, no!
522
00:28:54,112 --> 00:28:55,312
No!
523
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:03,320
No!
524
00:29:04,296 --> 00:29:05,496
Help me!
525
00:29:06,864 --> 00:29:08,146
Please!
526
00:29:08,147 --> 00:29:09,191
Help me!
527
00:29:11,978 --> 00:29:18,139
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
36684
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Welsh
Wolof