Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,287 --> 00:00:05,690
Well, today
we kick off the Tool Timelyric-writing contest.
2
00:00:05,757 --> 00:00:08,425
For years our theme song
has had no words.
3
00:00:08,494 --> 00:00:09,827
Klaus?
4
00:00:09,895 --> 00:00:11,596
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
5
00:00:13,398 --> 00:00:16,601
Hey? And a theme song
without lyrics is like...
6
00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:20,304
Well, it's like Al's mom
without a 5:00 shadow.
7
00:00:24,042 --> 00:00:26,243
As I was saying,
8
00:00:26,311 --> 00:00:28,646
Detroit's finest songwriters
9
00:00:28,714 --> 00:00:32,416
are vying to
have their lyrics
be the crown jewel
10
00:00:32,484 --> 00:00:35,252
in the dazzling
Tool Time theme!
11
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,589
You heard it right.
There's no money involved.
12
00:00:38,657 --> 00:00:41,692
Heidi, tell them
how the contest works.
13
00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:45,262
Well, our contestant begins
to sing and the moment
we don't like what we hear...
14
00:00:45,330 --> 00:00:46,563
Flonko!
15
00:00:46,632 --> 00:00:48,866
(GONG RINGS)
16
00:00:48,934 --> 00:00:50,667
Well, let's bring out
our first contestant.
17
00:00:50,735 --> 00:00:54,638
He is a carpet installer,
Wade Waller.
18
00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:56,173
(ALL CHEERING)
19
00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:03,547
Thank you.
20
00:01:03,615 --> 00:01:04,948
All right.
21
00:01:05,016 --> 00:01:06,783
All right, Waller,
let's hear you holler.
22
00:01:06,851 --> 00:01:08,151
(WADE CLEARS THROAT)
23
00:01:08,853 --> 00:01:10,087
One, two, three.
24
00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:12,523
♪ Here's a song about Tool Time
25
00:01:12,591 --> 00:01:13,691
♪ It's here now
26
00:01:13,758 --> 00:01:15,859
♪ Here's a song about Tool Time
27
00:01:15,927 --> 00:01:16,960
♪ And here it is
28
00:01:17,229 --> 00:01:19,296
♪ Here's a song about Tool Time
29
00:01:19,364 --> 00:01:20,564
♪ Here's a song
30
00:01:20,632 --> 00:01:24,368
♪ Here is the Tool Time song
31
00:01:24,436 --> 00:01:27,839
And here's a Tool Time gong.
32
00:01:27,906 --> 00:01:30,741
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's give a warm hello to
33
00:01:30,809 --> 00:01:32,844
The Flannels!
34
00:01:39,217 --> 00:01:42,553
Now there's
a good-looking bunch.
35
00:01:42,621 --> 00:01:46,189
Yeah,
if you're a single woman
at a Scottish mixer, huh?
36
00:01:46,257 --> 00:01:47,758
Where are your
instruments, guys?
37
00:01:47,826 --> 00:01:50,994
Oh, we don't have any.
We'll be singing Al cappella.
38
00:01:51,062 --> 00:01:52,763
One, two and one.
39
00:01:52,831 --> 00:01:56,100
(HUMMING)
40
00:01:56,168 --> 00:01:58,568
♪ Everyone get
set for Tool Time
41
00:01:58,636 --> 00:02:00,170
♪ Wrenches
42
00:02:00,238 --> 00:02:02,240
♪ Everyone get set
for Tool Time
43
00:02:02,307 --> 00:02:03,373
♪ Ratchets
44
00:02:03,441 --> 00:02:08,646
♪ Circular, circular,
circular, circular
45
00:02:08,714 --> 00:02:10,314
♪ Saws!
46
00:02:16,321 --> 00:02:18,589
(ALL APPLAUDING)
47
00:02:20,892 --> 00:02:22,860
All right!
48
00:02:24,762 --> 00:02:27,698
Well, they are great!
49
00:02:27,766 --> 00:02:29,467
Well, and
congratulations, guys.
50
00:02:29,534 --> 00:02:31,635
You made it into
the semi-finals.
51
00:02:31,703 --> 00:02:33,537
♪ Semi-finals!
52
00:02:33,605 --> 00:02:35,272
Yeah!
53
00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:37,107
You're great.
54
00:02:37,175 --> 00:02:39,877
♪ Really great!
55
00:02:40,645 --> 00:02:41,778
See you next time.
56
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:45,582
♪ See us next time!
57
00:02:45,650 --> 00:02:46,784
You're pushing it.
58
00:02:46,851 --> 00:02:49,219
♪ We're pushing it!
59
00:02:49,287 --> 00:02:51,221
Our next contestants
are a rap group,
60
00:02:51,289 --> 00:02:52,790
and they are big
fans of the show.
61
00:02:52,858 --> 00:02:54,558
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome
62
00:02:54,626 --> 00:02:58,261
L.L. Tool J and
Grand Master Bath!
63
00:02:58,329 --> 00:03:00,464
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
64
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,934
What's up?
65
00:03:04,002 --> 00:03:06,203
♪ Yo, Tim's in the house
♪ Rock the house
66
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,472
♪ Yo, Tim's in the house
♪ Rock the house
67
00:03:08,540 --> 00:03:10,574
♪ I say Tim's in the house
♪ Rock the house
68
00:03:10,642 --> 00:03:11,809
♪ You say Tim's in the house?
69
00:03:11,876 --> 00:03:13,277
♪ Wreck the house
70
00:03:13,345 --> 00:03:15,279
♪ If you got a nice place
♪ And you want it kept
71
00:03:15,347 --> 00:03:17,448
♪ Then ban Mr. Tim
♪ Because he's inept
72
00:03:17,515 --> 00:03:18,682
♪ He'll blow off your roof
73
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:19,916
♪ And destroy your kitchen
74
00:03:19,984 --> 00:03:21,084
♪ And next thing you know
75
00:03:21,152 --> 00:03:22,386
♪ Your girlfriend's bitchin'
76
00:03:22,454 --> 00:03:23,720
♪ 'Cause Tim is in the house
77
00:03:23,788 --> 00:03:25,322
♪ Wreck the house
78
00:03:25,390 --> 00:03:26,890
Yo, what's up with that?
79
00:03:26,958 --> 00:03:29,326
You dissed the boss.
That means you lost.
80
00:04:20,445 --> 00:04:21,846
(SIGHS)
81
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:25,683
Now it's only 16 hours,
37 minutes, and 45 seconds
82
00:04:25,751 --> 00:04:27,551
until you leave for Costa Rica.
83
00:04:28,854 --> 00:04:30,955
Forty-four seconds.
84
00:04:31,023 --> 00:04:34,525
Randy,
maybe we shouldn't spend
our last moments together
85
00:04:34,592 --> 00:04:37,361
counting our last
moments together.
86
00:04:37,428 --> 00:04:39,229
You're right.
87
00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:46,971
I just can't believe
you're gonna be
there for a whole year
88
00:04:47,039 --> 00:04:48,572
and I'm not going with you.
89
00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,441
I know.
You know, when we both
applied for this thing,
90
00:04:51,509 --> 00:04:55,046
I always pictured the two
of us working together in
the rainforest.
91
00:04:55,113 --> 00:04:57,915
You know, we'd spend
our mornings protecting
endangered species...
92
00:04:57,983 --> 00:05:01,618
And our afternoons
collecting dung samples.
93
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:07,658
Look, it'll only be a year.
94
00:05:07,726 --> 00:05:09,060
I'll be back here
before you know it.
95
00:05:09,127 --> 00:05:10,394
I know. I know.
96
00:05:12,530 --> 00:05:15,332
I'm just really gonna miss you.
97
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,534
I'm gonna miss you, too.
98
00:05:17,602 --> 00:05:20,571
Randy, while I'm gone,
would you just promise
me one little thing?
99
00:05:20,638 --> 00:05:22,639
Don't worry about it.
100
00:05:22,708 --> 00:05:24,175
I won't look at
any other girls,
101
00:05:24,242 --> 00:05:26,043
except for maybe
Tiffany Tucker,
102
00:05:26,111 --> 00:05:29,613
who's got that
nice mole on her lip
shaped like Idaho.
103
00:05:36,021 --> 00:05:39,356
Must be so hard
saying good-bye
for a whole year.
104
00:05:39,424 --> 00:05:42,993
Looks like that kiss is
gonna last a whole year.
105
00:05:43,061 --> 00:05:44,795
I hate to admit it.
106
00:05:44,863 --> 00:05:47,965
I am so glad
that he didn't get
into that program.
107
00:05:48,033 --> 00:05:51,168
I'd hate to have my child
living in a jungle in
Central America.
108
00:05:51,236 --> 00:05:53,270
I think it will be a great
experience for Lauren.
109
00:05:53,338 --> 00:05:55,472
She gets to
frolic in the sun,
pick some coffee,
110
00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:59,076
come back home
with a nice tan,
and really wide awake.
111
00:06:02,781 --> 00:06:06,049
Well, that's it.
Lauren's on her way.
112
00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:07,418
How are you?
113
00:06:07,485 --> 00:06:09,253
I'm all right.
A little sad.
114
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,956
Hey, of course you're sad.
115
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:15,192
What you need is
something to take your
mind off this, okay?
116
00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:17,061
You know, when I have
young girlfriends
117
00:06:17,128 --> 00:06:19,429
that leave me for the jungle...
118
00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:23,033
When something
bad happens to me,
119
00:06:23,101 --> 00:06:25,202
I go to the garage
and work on cars.
120
00:06:25,270 --> 00:06:29,340
When anything
happens to you, you go to
the garage and work on cars.
121
00:06:29,407 --> 00:06:32,143
You know what's weird
is that it was my idea
to apply to the program
122
00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:33,611
in the first place.
123
00:06:33,678 --> 00:06:35,812
Now she's going and I'm not.
124
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,383
Things happen for a reason.
I mean, maybe Lauren was
just meant to go.
125
00:06:39,451 --> 00:06:43,320
Yeah. You know how
the world works.
126
00:06:43,388 --> 00:06:45,255
They always favor the woman.
127
00:06:48,593 --> 00:06:50,260
What are you doing?
128
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,328
I'm putting
a scrapbook together
for Lauren.
129
00:06:52,396 --> 00:06:56,033
Each item represents
some special moment
in our relationship.
130
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:57,300
Pasta?
131
00:06:58,436 --> 00:07:01,572
Yeah. That's from
our first date together.
132
00:07:01,639 --> 00:07:04,575
Good thing you
didn't have fish.
133
00:07:04,642 --> 00:07:07,077
Yeah. I'm gonna send this
to Lauren down in Costa Rica
134
00:07:07,145 --> 00:07:09,613
so she'll have something
that reminds her of me.
135
00:07:09,681 --> 00:07:11,682
Yeah, I think that's
really nice of you, Randy.
136
00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:14,518
Here. You should put
that in there, too, man.
137
00:07:14,586 --> 00:07:16,286
What's the significance
of this?
138
00:07:16,354 --> 00:07:19,890
Nothing. I just didn't feel
like walking to the trash.
139
00:07:19,958 --> 00:07:22,660
(PHONE RINGING)
140
00:07:24,595 --> 00:07:25,729
Hello?
141
00:07:25,797 --> 00:07:28,698
Yeah, this is Randy Taylor.
142
00:07:28,766 --> 00:07:30,567
You're kidding!
143
00:07:30,635 --> 00:07:32,736
Oh, this is amazing!
144
00:07:32,804 --> 00:07:34,204
When?
145
00:07:34,272 --> 00:07:37,574
This is great! I'll tell
my parents right away.
Thank you so much.
146
00:07:37,642 --> 00:07:39,710
Okay, bye.
147
00:07:39,777 --> 00:07:42,746
This is great. Lauren and I
are gonna be back together.
148
00:07:42,813 --> 00:07:45,349
What? They kick her out
of the program already?
149
00:07:45,417 --> 00:07:47,484
I get to go to Costa Rica!
150
00:07:47,552 --> 00:07:49,119
What?
151
00:07:49,187 --> 00:07:52,256
Yeah, some guy dropped out
of the program and they're
giving me his spot.
152
00:07:52,323 --> 00:07:54,991
What? They expect
you to just pick up
and go just like that?
153
00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:56,994
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna be
living with a family
154
00:07:57,062 --> 00:07:59,796
in San Ramon,
which is only 20 miles
from where Lauren lives.
155
00:07:59,864 --> 00:08:01,065
I leave on Saturday.
156
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,566
You can't leave Saturday!
157
00:08:02,633 --> 00:08:04,901
Well, why not?
Well, because...
Because it's...
158
00:08:04,970 --> 00:08:07,004
It's the day before
the day of rest.
159
00:08:10,742 --> 00:08:12,475
Don't you need some time
to get stuff together?
160
00:08:12,611 --> 00:08:13,744
Yeah. You have
to get clothes.
161
00:08:13,812 --> 00:08:15,246
You have to get
all those shots.
162
00:08:15,313 --> 00:08:18,915
Translate your records
into Costa Rican.
163
00:08:18,983 --> 00:08:23,153
Guys, I know it's kind
of a rush, but I can do this.
164
00:08:23,221 --> 00:08:24,688
You're sure
you're okay with it?
165
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,457
Yeah. It's all
the bananas you can eat.
166
00:08:26,591 --> 00:08:27,525
Yeah!
167
00:08:27,592 --> 00:08:28,892
We're great.
TIM: Yeah.
168
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,093
No, we're really...
Excited.
169
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,427
We're happy
for you, honey.
Okay, cool.
170
00:08:31,495 --> 00:08:32,529
Great.
I'm gonna go pack.
171
00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,031
We're really happy.
Yeah.
172
00:08:34,098 --> 00:08:35,999
Really.
173
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:38,434
I'm gonna be
sick to my stomach.
174
00:08:38,502 --> 00:08:40,070
My child is going
2,000 miles away.
175
00:08:40,138 --> 00:08:41,938
I'm not gonna see him
for a whole year?
176
00:08:42,006 --> 00:08:43,740
Why is it that we
agreed to this thing
to begin with?
177
00:08:43,808 --> 00:08:45,942
Because six months ago
there were
hundreds of applicants.
178
00:08:46,010 --> 00:08:47,745
I mean,
now they've picked him.
I can't believe it!
179
00:08:47,812 --> 00:08:51,114
Look, if you don't want
him to go, let's just
tell him he can't go.
180
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,217
We can't do that.
He'd hate us.
181
00:08:53,284 --> 00:08:55,385
He's a teenager.
He's supposed to hate us.
182
00:08:57,088 --> 00:08:58,989
No.
Why? What?
183
00:08:59,057 --> 00:09:00,590
We have to let him go.
We have to.
184
00:09:00,658 --> 00:09:01,792
His girlfriend's
gonna be there.
185
00:09:01,859 --> 00:09:03,626
They're both really
committed to the cause.
186
00:09:03,695 --> 00:09:05,062
I mean, he's got
his heart set on it.
187
00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:07,097
So?
188
00:09:07,165 --> 00:09:08,431
When he was eight years old,
he had his heart
set on that pony.
189
00:09:08,499 --> 00:09:10,167
He never got that.
Yeah, well,
190
00:09:10,234 --> 00:09:13,970
maybe if we'd given him
the pony, he wouldn't be
going to Costa Rica.
191
00:09:14,038 --> 00:09:17,640
I still know that pony guy.
192
00:09:17,709 --> 00:09:19,910
I'll cut a deal with the guy.
193
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:22,679
Oh, it's probably a horse
by now, wouldn't it be,
'cause it's...
194
00:09:24,582 --> 00:09:29,652
Poncho,
insect repellent, compass,
hiking boots.
195
00:09:30,521 --> 00:09:32,055
What am I forgetting?
196
00:09:32,123 --> 00:09:34,825
You got underwear?
197
00:09:34,892 --> 00:09:38,929
Of course I have underwear.
What do you think I am?
An idiot?
198
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:42,032
Okay, I'm an idiot.
199
00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:45,435
So I bet you're looking
forward to being down there
with Lauren alone, huh?
200
00:09:45,537 --> 00:09:47,805
Brad, it's not
gonna be like that.
201
00:09:47,872 --> 00:09:51,008
Lauren's chaperone is 6'2",
250 pounds,
202
00:09:51,075 --> 00:09:55,045
and she is very strict.
203
00:09:55,047 --> 00:09:58,182
Well, I think it's really cool
you're going down there to
save the environment.
204
00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:01,685
You don't think I'm crazy
for doing this, do you?
205
00:10:01,753 --> 00:10:04,421
No, no. I don't
think you're crazy.
206
00:10:04,489 --> 00:10:06,857
I mean, I think it's
gonna be kind of weird.
207
00:10:06,925 --> 00:10:08,492
'Cause I figure that
by the time you get back,
208
00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:11,161
I'll probably be
headed off for college,
you know?
209
00:10:11,229 --> 00:10:14,431
So this year would've
been our last chance
to hang out together.
210
00:10:14,499 --> 00:10:17,434
Yeah. We could've done
some major partying.
211
00:10:17,436 --> 00:10:19,737
Well, I'm not really
the party guy, but...
212
00:10:19,804 --> 00:10:23,874
Well, I guess we could've
tortured Mark together.
213
00:10:23,942 --> 00:10:26,910
Yup. I am definitely
gonna miss that.
214
00:10:26,978 --> 00:10:28,478
Of course, you know,
if you want,
215
00:10:28,546 --> 00:10:32,716
I can score you some
Costa Rican itching powder.
216
00:10:32,784 --> 00:10:38,021
And if you do,
I promise to send you
the pictures of Mark's rash.
217
00:10:38,089 --> 00:10:39,923
Hey, men.
What are you guys
talking about?
218
00:10:39,991 --> 00:10:43,160
We're actually
just talking about
Costa Rican itching powder.
219
00:10:43,228 --> 00:10:45,495
Hey, don't get me started,
all right?
220
00:10:45,563 --> 00:10:46,997
Years ago when you
wanted a good itch,
221
00:10:47,065 --> 00:10:50,467
you bought American,
all right? Yeah.
222
00:10:50,534 --> 00:10:54,337
We used to be
proud of this country's
novelty products in my day.
223
00:10:54,405 --> 00:10:55,839
All right.
I'm gonna go write
to my congressman.
224
00:10:55,907 --> 00:10:57,674
Good work.
225
00:10:57,742 --> 00:10:59,676
While you're at it,
why don't you tell
him about the influx
226
00:10:59,744 --> 00:11:02,045
of that fake vomit from Japan?
227
00:11:02,113 --> 00:11:04,648
All the bean
sprouts in there.
What's that all about?
228
00:11:09,587 --> 00:11:13,724
Now I know where I got
my global consciousness.
229
00:11:13,791 --> 00:11:15,625
Freakin' right, man.
230
00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:19,729
Need any help packing?
No.
231
00:11:19,797 --> 00:11:22,299
I think I got everything.
Oh, rain pants.
232
00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:25,468
I need rain pants. You think
Mom could pick me up a pair?
233
00:11:25,603 --> 00:11:29,439
I think your mom would stitch
them herself and drive them
down there for you.
234
00:11:29,507 --> 00:11:30,374
What do you mean?
235
00:11:30,441 --> 00:11:31,975
Well, you know,
236
00:11:32,043 --> 00:11:34,211
she's having a little
trouble at the thought
of you leaving.
237
00:11:34,279 --> 00:11:35,545
She didn't say
anything about it.
238
00:11:35,613 --> 00:11:37,314
I don't think she will.
She won't say
anything about it.
239
00:11:37,382 --> 00:11:39,416
But, you know,
she's pretty
worried about you
240
00:11:39,483 --> 00:11:41,484
living halfway
around the world.
241
00:11:41,552 --> 00:11:43,120
Dad, it's no big deal.
242
00:11:43,187 --> 00:11:45,755
It's like I'm going
to sleep-away camp
for a year.
243
00:11:45,823 --> 00:11:47,590
Except this camp,
instead of arts and crafts,
244
00:11:47,658 --> 00:11:51,028
you've got tarantulas
and man-eating fish.
245
00:11:51,095 --> 00:11:55,198
Not to mention
the constant threat
of a peasant uprising.
246
00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:58,668
Dad, Costa Rica is
the most stable country
in Central America.
247
00:11:58,736 --> 00:12:02,505
Oh, yeah.
That's what they said
about Nicaragua.
248
00:12:02,573 --> 00:12:05,641
Now the people down
there are deprived of
the most basic freedoms.
249
00:12:05,709 --> 00:12:09,545
You can't buy
a Chevy big block
down there! You know that?
250
00:12:11,015 --> 00:12:13,349
And this bothers Mom how?
251
00:12:15,153 --> 00:12:17,087
I'm just saying
that she's worried,
you know?
252
00:12:17,155 --> 00:12:19,089
I just wanted you to know that.
253
00:12:19,157 --> 00:12:21,825
Just the thought of you
moving so far away is
eating her up inside.
254
00:12:21,893 --> 00:12:23,794
If Mom was so
worried about this,
255
00:12:23,861 --> 00:12:25,461
why did she let me
apply to the program
in the first place?
256
00:12:25,529 --> 00:12:27,097
If she knew
she was gonna
be this worried,
257
00:12:27,165 --> 00:12:28,799
I don't think she would've
let you apply to the program.
258
00:12:28,866 --> 00:12:31,501
Why are you telling
me this now, Dad?
I leave tomorrow.
259
00:12:31,569 --> 00:12:33,236
I just thought it
might be interesting
260
00:12:33,304 --> 00:12:35,405
to find out how your
mom feels about it,
that's all.
261
00:12:35,472 --> 00:12:38,608
Great. So either miss
out on the opportunity
of a lifetime
262
00:12:38,676 --> 00:12:41,845
or turn my mom
into a basket case?
263
00:12:41,913 --> 00:12:43,780
So you've got options.
264
00:12:47,585 --> 00:12:48,819
Tah-dah!
265
00:12:50,722 --> 00:12:52,089
I went to camping stores.
266
00:12:52,156 --> 00:12:54,324
The totally
mosquito-proof hat.
What do you think?
267
00:12:54,391 --> 00:12:55,692
Mosquito-proof hat.
Great.
268
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:58,528
I'll be the only kid
in Detroit wearing one.
269
00:12:58,596 --> 00:12:59,763
What's that supposed to mean?
270
00:12:59,831 --> 00:13:02,632
You got your wish.
I'm not going to Costa Rica.
271
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:03,867
Why? Why not?
272
00:13:03,935 --> 00:13:05,769
Why don't you ask
your middleman?
273
00:13:08,272 --> 00:13:10,140
What just happened here?
274
00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:12,208
It's okay. It's okay.
He'll calm down.
275
00:13:12,276 --> 00:13:13,977
Good news is our
son is now buying
276
00:13:14,045 --> 00:13:16,680
his itching powder
right in the US of A.
277
00:13:20,718 --> 00:13:22,219
Let me get this straight.
278
00:13:22,286 --> 00:13:24,587
Randy is not going
to Costa Rica because
279
00:13:24,655 --> 00:13:28,791
you told him
that I was worried
about spiders and fish.
280
00:13:30,861 --> 00:13:32,862
And that you were
worried about him
being so far away.
281
00:13:32,930 --> 00:13:35,265
I covered all the bases.
You don't need to thank me.
282
00:13:35,333 --> 00:13:36,633
Thank you.
283
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:37,801
Well, you're welcome.
284
00:13:39,303 --> 00:13:40,937
Tim, I am worried
about him going,
285
00:13:41,005 --> 00:13:43,072
but I told you I wasn't
gonna stop him!
286
00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:45,142
That's why I stopped
him for you.
287
00:13:45,209 --> 00:13:48,612
Look, it doesn't
matter who stopped him.
The point is he's not going.
288
00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:52,082
So he's gonna miss
this incredible adventure
289
00:13:52,150 --> 00:13:55,285
and spend the rest
of his life blaming me.
290
00:13:55,352 --> 00:13:57,988
You know,
I thought you'd be happy
that I fixed things.
291
00:13:58,056 --> 00:14:00,523
Tim, this isn't a leaky faucet
or a broken carburetor.
292
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:03,226
This is my relationship
with my son!
293
00:14:03,294 --> 00:14:05,628
I did not ask you to fix it!
294
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:07,998
Not literally.
295
00:14:08,065 --> 00:14:12,268
But you were sending
some very strong
subliminal messages.
296
00:14:12,336 --> 00:14:14,037
Really? Well...
Yes! Yes!
297
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:18,742
Okay, so can you pick up
on this message that I'm
sending you right now?
298
00:14:23,347 --> 00:14:26,416
That is not
physically possible.
299
00:14:28,686 --> 00:14:29,886
Hey, Wilson.
300
00:14:29,954 --> 00:14:31,855
Hidey ho, good neighbor.
301
00:14:31,923 --> 00:14:33,223
What's all the smoke?
302
00:14:33,291 --> 00:14:34,925
I'm roasting Joe.
303
00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:40,897
Well, I don't hear any screams.
304
00:14:40,965 --> 00:14:43,333
He's obviously
taking it like a man.
305
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:44,767
(WILSON CHUCKLING)
306
00:14:44,836 --> 00:14:47,304
No, in honor of Randy
going to Costa Rica,
307
00:14:47,371 --> 00:14:49,439
I'm roasting coffee beans.
308
00:14:49,507 --> 00:14:50,974
Randy's not going.
309
00:14:51,041 --> 00:14:52,676
Why not?
310
00:14:52,743 --> 00:14:55,445
Because I told him
Jill didn't want him to go.
311
00:14:55,512 --> 00:14:57,680
So the trip is off
just like that?
312
00:14:57,682 --> 00:14:59,449
Jill must be very upset
about him going.
313
00:14:59,516 --> 00:15:01,184
The only reason I told him that
314
00:15:01,252 --> 00:15:03,086
was because Jill was worried
about his health and safety.
315
00:15:03,154 --> 00:15:04,821
I mean, he's not gonna be
home for Thanksgiving.
316
00:15:04,889 --> 00:15:05,989
We won't see him at Christmas.
317
00:15:06,057 --> 00:15:07,590
He won't be here
when I finish the hot rod.
318
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:10,360
Oh. Uh-huh.
319
00:15:10,427 --> 00:15:12,261
He's gonna
celebrate a birthday
down there, you know.
320
00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:13,897
If we want party pictures,
you know,
321
00:15:13,965 --> 00:15:17,901
I'll have to pick up a copy
of National Geographic.
322
00:15:17,969 --> 00:15:19,836
Well, I'm still
back at "ah."
323
00:15:20,104 --> 00:15:20,837
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
324
00:15:20,905 --> 00:15:22,138
Huh?
325
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,008
Tim, have you ever
heard of a play...
326
00:15:26,076 --> 00:15:27,510
No, no, no.
327
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:30,447
No plays, no ballets,
no chamber music.
None of that.
328
00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:32,215
Just give it to me straight.
329
00:15:32,217 --> 00:15:35,886
I'm talking about
the Shakespearean
comedy As You Like It.
330
00:15:35,953 --> 00:15:37,788
Now in this play,
the young Rosalind
331
00:15:37,855 --> 00:15:41,391
is uncomfortable
expressing her feelings
for the nobleman Orlando.
332
00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:43,860
The only way she can
speak her mind
333
00:15:43,928 --> 00:15:48,331
is by dressing up as a man,
the shepherd Ganymede.
334
00:15:51,435 --> 00:15:56,739
Okay. What does
a cross-dressing sheep
lover have to do with me?
335
00:15:56,807 --> 00:16:00,410
Well, I suspect,
just as Rosalind
masqueraded as Ganymede,
336
00:16:00,478 --> 00:16:04,047
perhaps you were
masquerading as Jill.
337
00:16:08,119 --> 00:16:10,019
Once I tried on a pump.
338
00:16:12,223 --> 00:16:15,024
It was Halloween,
for God's sake!
339
00:16:15,093 --> 00:16:17,494
No, I'm talking
about masquerading
your feelings.
340
00:16:17,562 --> 00:16:21,498
I mean, is Jill really
the one who will miss sharing
the hot rod with Randy?
341
00:16:21,566 --> 00:16:23,900
Of course. She's the one...
342
00:16:26,737 --> 00:16:29,939
Are you suggesting
I stopped him from going
because of my feelings?
343
00:16:30,007 --> 00:16:33,376
Well, that answer
can only come from
the masquerader.
344
00:16:35,279 --> 00:16:37,013
All right, all right.
345
00:16:37,081 --> 00:16:39,616
I tried on the pantyhose, too.
346
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:44,654
Hi.
347
00:16:44,722 --> 00:16:46,255
Hi.
348
00:16:46,323 --> 00:16:47,390
Is Randy back yet?
349
00:16:47,458 --> 00:16:49,225
No, he's not.
350
00:16:49,293 --> 00:16:50,960
When he gets back,
351
00:16:51,029 --> 00:16:54,531
I'm going to tell him
that I'm okay with him
going to Costa Rica.
352
00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:58,168
And you might also tell him
that it was me that had
the problem with it.
353
00:16:58,236 --> 00:17:00,570
I don't want him
leaving for a year.
354
00:17:00,638 --> 00:17:04,574
You were projecting your
feelings on me because
you're in denial about him.
355
00:17:04,576 --> 00:17:06,476
You have all these emotions
you want to express to him.
356
00:17:06,544 --> 00:17:08,278
You just don't know
how to do it.
357
00:17:08,345 --> 00:17:11,014
Yeah, and if you
could just tell him that,
you know, I'd call us even.
358
00:17:11,081 --> 00:17:13,784
Not gonna happen.
You have to do this.
359
00:17:14,785 --> 00:17:16,886
Randy, guess what?
Good news.
360
00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:20,256
Here are your rain pants.
You are going to Costa Rica.
361
00:17:20,324 --> 00:17:22,092
What? What's changed?
362
00:17:22,159 --> 00:17:23,960
Talk to the middleman.
363
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:27,930
I don't get it.
364
00:17:27,998 --> 00:17:30,933
Well, it's complicated.
365
00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:33,636
Geez. Here.
Would you slice this for me?
366
00:17:38,042 --> 00:17:40,710
Do you remember
your first solid food?
367
00:17:40,778 --> 00:17:42,746
I was seven months old.
368
00:17:42,813 --> 00:17:45,281
So you do remember.
369
00:17:45,349 --> 00:17:47,684
Your mom tried
to get you to eat
that wimpy rice cereal,
370
00:17:47,752 --> 00:17:50,453
but I gave you a bratwurst.
371
00:17:50,521 --> 00:17:53,089
No wonder I became
a vegetarian.
372
00:17:53,157 --> 00:17:55,391
So why am I going
to Costa Rica again?
373
00:17:55,493 --> 00:17:56,993
It's complicated.
374
00:17:59,230 --> 00:18:01,597
How did you become 16 already?
375
00:18:01,665 --> 00:18:04,434
Well, I woke up one morning,
I was 15, and thought,
376
00:18:04,502 --> 00:18:07,036
"What the heck!
Let's keep on going."
377
00:18:07,105 --> 00:18:08,805
So back to
the Costa Rica thing.
378
00:18:08,872 --> 00:18:11,974
Damn it, I'm gonna miss you.
379
00:18:12,042 --> 00:18:16,112
So you're the one who had
the problem with me leaving?
380
00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:19,783
The longest I've ever
been away from you
has been a week.
381
00:18:19,851 --> 00:18:23,419
Yeah. And I visited
you in the hospital
every single day.
382
00:18:26,156 --> 00:18:29,392
I'm just not comfortable
about you leaving like this,
you know? We...
383
00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:32,829
We haven't gotten a chance
to do half the stuff I've
talked about doing with you.
384
00:18:32,897 --> 00:18:34,831
Like what?
385
00:18:34,899 --> 00:18:37,667
We never souped anything up,
even a bicycle.
386
00:18:37,735 --> 00:18:39,369
Come on, Dad.
Don't you remember?
387
00:18:39,436 --> 00:18:43,006
I was the first
six-year-old ever to be
pulled over for speeding?
388
00:18:43,073 --> 00:18:45,542
If you'd just ducked
into that alley, that cop
would've never seen you.
389
00:18:45,610 --> 00:18:46,977
I know.
390
00:18:49,647 --> 00:18:51,581
You never talked about girls.
391
00:18:51,649 --> 00:18:54,584
Well, I'm not
leaving until Saturday.
What do you want to know?
392
00:18:57,922 --> 00:19:01,324
I laugh with you.
Boy, I'm sure gonna
miss you.
393
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,961
Dad, I'm only
gonna be gone a year.
394
00:19:05,029 --> 00:19:09,499
Yeah. Yeah.
You can call, you know?
395
00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:10,900
You know, and then when
you get back we can go
396
00:19:10,968 --> 00:19:12,335
on that fly-fishing trip
we talked about.
397
00:19:12,470 --> 00:19:15,238
Yeah. I'd like that.
398
00:19:15,305 --> 00:19:18,408
You know,
it takes a lot of courage
to go to a strange country,
399
00:19:18,476 --> 00:19:21,944
2,000 miles away.
A lot of kids would
be scared to do this.
400
00:19:22,012 --> 00:19:24,947
Well, to be honest,
I am scared.
401
00:19:25,015 --> 00:19:28,851
Yeah, I've talked
to a lot of people
who've been down there,
402
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:30,320
but I don't know what
I'm getting in for.
403
00:19:30,388 --> 00:19:31,854
Yeah.
404
00:19:31,922 --> 00:19:34,457
If you got any trouble
or any questions,
I'm just a phone call away.
405
00:19:34,524 --> 00:19:37,727
So fill up those rain pants
with quarters, all right?
406
00:19:37,795 --> 00:19:39,962
Thanks, Dad.
Yeah.
407
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:41,298
Oh, I'm gonna miss you.
408
00:19:41,365 --> 00:19:43,366
I'm gonna miss you, too.
409
00:19:43,434 --> 00:19:45,936
But you're
gonna be just fine.
You're gonna do well.
410
00:19:46,003 --> 00:19:48,004
You think so?
Yeah.
411
00:19:48,071 --> 00:19:52,208
You've survived every
natural disaster known to man
412
00:19:52,276 --> 00:19:56,045
right here in this house.
413
00:19:56,113 --> 00:20:00,750
MAN OVER P.A.: Flight 557will now begin boardingthrough Gate 17.
414
00:20:01,685 --> 00:20:02,718
Well, I guess this is it.
415
00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:03,819
Yeah.
416
00:20:03,888 --> 00:20:05,188
MARK: Have a good
trip, Randy.
417
00:20:05,256 --> 00:20:06,756
Thanks, Mark.
418
00:20:06,823 --> 00:20:11,828
And here's the video I made
of you and Lauren making
out in the gazebo.
419
00:20:11,895 --> 00:20:14,830
You're a very odd boy.
420
00:20:14,899 --> 00:20:16,032
But I'm gonna miss you.
421
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:18,601
I'll miss you, too.
422
00:20:18,668 --> 00:20:21,404
You, I'm not gonna
miss so much.
423
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:22,939
Have a good trip, buddy.
424
00:20:23,007 --> 00:20:24,440
Save a tree for me, eh?
425
00:20:24,508 --> 00:20:26,575
You got it.
426
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:27,676
Dad.
427
00:20:27,744 --> 00:20:29,612
I got you a little present.
428
00:20:29,679 --> 00:20:33,049
A recorder, so you can record
your thoughts in the jungle,
send them back to us.
429
00:20:33,117 --> 00:20:35,184
We put some stuff
on there like this.
430
00:20:35,252 --> 00:20:37,853
JILL: Wear your sun block.Don't forget to write.
431
00:20:39,723 --> 00:20:41,991
TIM: Never looka monkey in the eye.
432
00:20:45,429 --> 00:20:46,829
Thanks, Dad.
433
00:20:51,235 --> 00:20:52,302
Mom.
434
00:20:52,369 --> 00:20:54,337
I'm fine. I'm fine.
435
00:20:54,405 --> 00:20:56,973
I packed some snacks
in your backpack
436
00:20:57,041 --> 00:20:58,374
in case you don't like
the food on the plane.
437
00:20:58,442 --> 00:21:00,043
There's celery.
There's carrots.
438
00:21:00,110 --> 00:21:03,679
Or if you want to
mix them together,
there's celery and carrots.
439
00:21:03,747 --> 00:21:05,214
I love you.
440
00:21:05,282 --> 00:21:07,951
I love you, too.
441
00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:10,019
You have a great time.
442
00:21:10,087 --> 00:21:12,455
And don't forget to write.
443
00:21:12,523 --> 00:21:13,957
Call when you get there!
444
00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:16,125
Call before you get there!
445
00:21:16,193 --> 00:21:20,096
Or I could open
the emergency door and
just yell out of the plane.
446
00:21:38,548 --> 00:21:40,550
That'll help.
This helps.
447
00:21:47,858 --> 00:21:51,226
Costa Rica is
the most stable country
in Central America.
448
00:21:51,294 --> 00:21:53,696
That's what they said
about Nicaragua.
449
00:21:53,764 --> 00:21:55,498
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
34758
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof