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1
00:00:17,583 --> 00:00:19,285
- Oh, his laugh.
2
00:00:19,318 --> 00:00:20,520
- Her smile.
3
00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:21,488
- His ambition.
4
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,523
- The way she looks at me when
we wake up.
5
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:24,524
- His teeth.
6
00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:25,825
- Her teeth.
7
00:00:25,858 --> 00:00:27,193
- You like my teeth?
8
00:00:27,226 --> 00:00:29,162
- I love your teeth.
9
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,531
- Come and get my teeth.
10
00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:36,636
- I love watching people kiss.
11
00:00:36,669 --> 00:00:39,205
I'm Martin Whistlebottom, CEO of
Soulmate,
12
00:00:39,238 --> 00:00:41,574
the app that finds your perfect
match.
13
00:00:41,607 --> 00:00:43,810
It's not a list of potential
dates,
14
00:00:43,843 --> 00:00:45,778
it's one person, your soulmate.
15
00:00:45,811 --> 00:00:46,846
- I want you inside me.
16
00:00:46,879 --> 00:00:48,815
- Will I get to watch you
kiss them on the lips?
17
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:52,452
Oh, gosh, I'd sure like to.
18
00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:56,322
Stop swiping, stop
searching, start loving.
19
00:00:56,355 --> 00:00:57,790
- We found ours.
20
00:00:57,823 --> 00:00:58,691
- Find yours.
21
00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:01,327
- Soulmate. Find yours.
22
00:01:03,195 --> 00:01:04,230
- Kortiri?
23
00:01:04,263 --> 00:01:05,231
- Hi Seth.
24
00:01:05,264 --> 00:01:07,667
- Go to the marketplace
and download Soulmate.
25
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,769
- Downloading now.
26
00:01:09,802 --> 00:01:11,637
- Welcome to Soulmate. Find
yours.
27
00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:13,706
Before beginning, please
carefully read the Terms of--
28
00:01:13,739 --> 00:01:14,607
- Agree.
29
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:15,708
- Great.
30
00:01:15,741 --> 00:01:18,177
Soulmate works by analyzing
your browser history.
31
00:01:18,210 --> 00:01:18,678
Do we have your permission--
32
00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:19,312
- Yes.
33
00:01:19,345 --> 00:01:20,280
- Great.
34
00:01:20,313 --> 00:01:21,514
Can we take a photo of you for
your match?
35
00:01:21,547 --> 00:01:25,184
- Uh, yeah, let me just, uh--
36
00:01:25,217 --> 00:01:28,387
- Great. Finding your true
Soulmate is just one step away.
37
00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:30,523
To match, just say "find mine".
38
00:01:32,191 --> 00:01:33,259
- Find mine.
39
00:01:33,292 --> 00:01:34,527
- Great. Here goes.
40
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:41,367
No match found.
41
00:01:43,335 --> 00:01:44,537
- Redo the search.
42
00:01:47,239 --> 00:01:48,842
- No match found.
43
00:01:49,842 --> 00:01:51,310
- Redo the search.
44
00:01:52,811 --> 00:01:54,714
- No match found.
45
00:01:54,747 --> 00:01:55,682
- See?
46
00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:57,617
- It matches everybody,
I don't understand.
47
00:01:57,650 --> 00:01:58,885
- I called the company and
complained
48
00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:00,253
and the girl who answered hung
up.
49
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,821
She said I was screwing with
her.
50
00:02:01,854 --> 00:02:02,855
- Some girls like that.
51
00:02:06,258 --> 00:02:07,426
- Whatever, there's no
way it really works.
52
00:02:07,459 --> 00:02:08,194
- Are you kidding me?
53
00:02:08,227 --> 00:02:09,061
It's how we met.
54
00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:10,563
- Yeah. I don't know anyone who
didn't
55
00:02:10,596 --> 00:02:12,231
meet through Soulmate anymore.
56
00:02:12,264 --> 00:02:13,333
I mean, look.
57
00:02:17,269 --> 00:02:17,937
- Gross.
58
00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:19,372
- Oh, you're just being bitter.
59
00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:21,440
- Yeah, you're being a bitter
boy.
60
00:02:21,473 --> 00:02:23,376
You're being like a bitter...
61
00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:24,410
Like if, like, you're being
bitter--
62
00:02:24,443 --> 00:02:25,811
Like if you were a...
63
00:02:25,844 --> 00:02:27,246
- Yeah, you got it babe.
64
00:02:27,279 --> 00:02:27,813
- Okay.
65
00:02:27,846 --> 00:02:28,447
- You got something...
66
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:29,882
- Oh, like a black coffee!
67
00:02:29,915 --> 00:02:30,516
- There you go!
68
00:02:30,549 --> 00:02:31,717
You're a black coffee boy.
69
00:02:32,985 --> 00:02:35,221
- Here we go, three Cabernets.
70
00:02:35,254 --> 00:02:37,190
Did I hear you say you
wanted a black coffee?
71
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,659
- No, evidently I'm being
a "black coffee boy".
72
00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:40,893
- Oh. Well, that's too bad,
73
00:02:40,926 --> 00:02:42,695
'cause I only serve green tea
boys.
74
00:02:45,364 --> 00:02:47,567
- Oh no, oh. You can't have
Cabernet with tomato sauce.
75
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,535
- Ugh, all right.
76
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:51,237
Other than being a weird dick
about wine,
77
00:02:51,270 --> 00:02:53,806
you're a good guy and you'll
find a match.
78
00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:55,408
Go to the company and complain.
79
00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:56,976
- What, like, go to the
corporate headquarters?
80
00:02:57,009 --> 00:02:58,611
No. I'm not that desperate.
81
00:02:58,644 --> 00:03:00,546
I will find someone without
some--
82
00:03:24,503 --> 00:03:25,438
- Excuse me.
83
00:03:27,706 --> 00:03:28,641
Excuse me!
84
00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:29,909
- Oh!
85
00:03:29,942 --> 00:03:31,010
- Welcome to Burger King.
86
00:03:33,812 --> 00:03:35,314
Sorry. Um, eh-hem.
87
00:03:35,347 --> 00:03:37,750
Welcome to Soulmate. Find yours.
88
00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:39,719
- Um, my app isn't working.
89
00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:42,788
- Um, sir, you're gonna want
to talk to technical support.
90
00:03:42,821 --> 00:03:46,292
This is a business where work is
done, so.
91
00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:47,393
- Get 'em, Paul.
92
00:03:47,426 --> 00:03:48,594
- I love you.
93
00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:49,629
- I love you so much.
94
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:51,597
- I love you.
95
00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:52,832
- I did.
96
00:03:54,066 --> 00:03:54,968
I don't have a match.
97
00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:01,341
- Make the call.
98
00:04:05,544 --> 00:04:07,413
- It happened.
99
00:04:09,815 --> 00:04:11,484
- Mr. Whistlebottom?
100
00:04:14,553 --> 00:04:16,522
- So, you're the boy without a
match?
101
00:04:16,555 --> 00:04:18,357
- Hi.
102
00:04:18,390 --> 00:04:20,593
Um, your app is broken.
103
00:04:22,728 --> 00:04:24,797
- Have a seat. Do you want a
bourbon?
104
00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:26,299
No, that's right, I read your
data.
105
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,601
You like wine, don't you?
106
00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:31,971
- Your app is broken.
107
00:04:32,004 --> 00:04:32,805
- No it isn't.
108
00:04:32,838 --> 00:04:33,806
- But you said, in your
commercial,
109
00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,442
you said that there was
someone for everyone.
110
00:04:36,475 --> 00:04:38,944
- Well, yeah, just not for you.
111
00:04:38,977 --> 00:04:40,846
You're not quite right for
anybody.
112
00:04:40,879 --> 00:04:43,015
You're the seven billionth
wheel.
113
00:04:43,048 --> 00:04:44,417
The world's second best.
114
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,051
- What's wrong with me?
115
00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:46,285
- Nothing!
116
00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:48,621
I mean, except for the kind of
a dick about the wine thing.
117
00:04:48,654 --> 00:04:53,526
But no, it's just that
you don't fit anybody.
118
00:04:54,426 --> 00:04:55,594
- I want love.
119
00:04:55,627 --> 00:04:58,097
- Well sure, sure you do. Love
is great.
120
00:04:58,130 --> 00:04:59,632
Think of it this way.
121
00:04:59,665 --> 00:05:01,767
You get to be the
fun-loving single friend.
122
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,536
The guy who throws the bachelor
parties,
123
00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:06,872
who takes the husbands
out on guys night out,
124
00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:10,009
who gets drugs for the couple on
holidays.
125
00:05:10,042 --> 00:05:10,676
- That's the most depressing
thing
126
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:11,811
I've ever heard in my life.
127
00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:16,382
Aren't there any single
women who don't use your app?
128
00:05:16,415 --> 00:05:17,817
- Well, coma patients.
129
00:05:19,885 --> 00:05:22,688
My heart really goes out
to you, son, it does.
130
00:05:22,721 --> 00:05:25,691
You know, I wish there was
something I could do for you.
131
00:05:25,724 --> 00:05:30,730
Except, I can refund you the
$20.00 you spent on the app.
132
00:05:32,698 --> 00:05:34,734
You cash this at First National,
133
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:38,705
they know me pretty well over
there, if you catch my drift.
134
00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:41,540
- That's it?
135
00:05:41,573 --> 00:05:42,474
- Oh, chin up, young man.
136
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:46,412
Love is a game for fools and
scoundrels.
137
00:05:46,445 --> 00:05:47,146
- Who said that?
138
00:05:47,179 --> 00:05:48,081
- Well, I did.
139
00:05:49,815 --> 00:05:51,651
So, be well.
140
00:05:53,552 --> 00:05:54,987
All right, there's the door.
141
00:05:55,020 --> 00:05:56,555
Might as well go through it,
142
00:05:56,588 --> 00:05:58,825
because you're really depressing
me.
143
00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:07,500
- You could try dudes.
144
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,001
- Are you just wearing
underwear?
145
00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:12,671
- Why would I get dressed?
146
00:06:12,704 --> 00:06:15,741
I didn't realize it, but
everything I do in my life
147
00:06:15,774 --> 00:06:17,510
is to get into a relationship.
148
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,445
And now that I know that's off
the table,
149
00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:22,848
like, know, I kinda don't
care about anything.
150
00:06:22,881 --> 00:06:25,651
- Here we go. Can I get
you anything else to drink?
151
00:06:25,684 --> 00:06:28,053
- A whole bottle of wine.
152
00:06:28,086 --> 00:06:29,989
- Uh, any particular kind?
153
00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:31,424
- Whatever's cheap.
154
00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:32,091
- Okay.
155
00:06:33,759 --> 00:06:34,760
- Well, something rustic.
156
00:06:34,793 --> 00:06:36,829
- I can't watch this.
157
00:06:36,862 --> 00:06:37,897
You turned into like a...
158
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,665
You were kinda like a, like a--
159
00:06:39,698 --> 00:06:42,601
- Okay. It's cheap but
it's got a nice spice to it
160
00:06:42,634 --> 00:06:45,070
and cherry in the mid-pallet.
161
00:06:45,103 --> 00:06:47,006
- Oh, oh, oh.
162
00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,741
- Um, excuse me.
163
00:06:48,774 --> 00:06:51,510
I'm sorry if this is forward
but after your shift,
164
00:06:51,543 --> 00:06:53,612
would you like to get a
drink with my friend here?
165
00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:56,449
- Oh, I have a boyfriend.
166
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:59,786
- Okay. How about just as
friends?
167
00:07:01,253 --> 00:07:04,089
- Sure. Okay, yeah.
168
00:07:04,122 --> 00:07:05,725
Probably be a good story.
169
00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:09,895
- Oh, good, another friend.
170
00:07:09,928 --> 00:07:11,831
- It'll get you out of the
house.
171
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:13,232
- Yeah, man. Gotta get
out of the the house
172
00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:15,801
or you're gonna turn into like
a...
173
00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:16,235
Like a...
174
00:07:16,268 --> 00:07:16,902
- Like a...
175
00:07:16,935 --> 00:07:17,536
- Like a.
176
00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:18,037
- Like a...
177
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:18,804
- Like a.
178
00:07:18,837 --> 00:07:19,605
- Like a!
179
00:07:19,638 --> 00:07:20,239
- Like a?
180
00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:21,774
- Oh, I like-a you.
181
00:07:21,807 --> 00:07:23,876
I like-a you, I like-a---
182
00:07:27,012 --> 00:07:28,681
- I love-a! I love-a!
183
00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:30,183
- I love-a, I love-a!
184
00:07:31,783 --> 00:07:33,819
- And the good thing is that in
Florida,
185
00:07:33,852 --> 00:07:35,154
there's always someone nearby
who knows
186
00:07:35,187 --> 00:07:37,623
how to wrestle an alligator.
187
00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:38,858
- Or point you towards the
nearest
188
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,092
wrap-around sunglasses store?
189
00:07:40,125 --> 00:07:41,894
- Right, yeah. There's a great
one
190
00:07:41,927 --> 00:07:43,162
over on Water Street, actually.
191
00:07:43,195 --> 00:07:44,263
- Oh, I'll bet.
192
00:07:44,296 --> 00:07:45,030
- Where are you from?
193
00:07:45,063 --> 00:07:45,998
- Ohio.
194
00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:46,832
- Oh.
195
00:07:46,865 --> 00:07:47,733
- Hi.
196
00:07:47,766 --> 00:07:48,934
- Oh!
197
00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:49,835
- Ahaha.
198
00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:51,871
- Can I get you guys something?
199
00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:53,806
- I'll take an earthy Pinot,
200
00:07:53,839 --> 00:07:55,941
maybe something from
the Willamette Valley
if you've got it,
201
00:07:55,974 --> 00:07:57,910
otherwise a Burgundy.
202
00:07:57,943 --> 00:07:58,678
- And for you?
203
00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:02,147
- Same.
204
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:03,549
- Nice guy.
205
00:08:03,582 --> 00:08:06,652
- So, you met your boyfriend on
Soulmate?
206
00:08:06,685 --> 00:08:11,590
- Yeah, uh, Tim. He's pretty
awesome.
207
00:08:11,623 --> 00:08:12,157
- Oh, good.
208
00:08:12,190 --> 00:08:14,693
- And you?
209
00:08:14,726 --> 00:08:19,632
You, uh, obviously prefer
boxers.
210
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:23,035
- Do you ever think about what
it was like before Soulmate?
211
00:08:23,068 --> 00:08:25,938
How can I- er, um...
212
00:08:25,971 --> 00:08:27,773
How did people find love?
213
00:08:29,274 --> 00:08:31,877
- I guess they just roamed
around
214
00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:35,014
and hoped for the best, right?
215
00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:37,917
They would meet and go on dates
216
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:38,718
and then they'd make things work
217
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:41,687
even if it wasn't totally
perfect.
218
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,757
I guess that's what I'd do
if my boyfriend ever died.
219
00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:48,027
That's a horribly dark thing to
say.
220
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:49,295
- And here we go.
221
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:50,296
- Thank you.
222
00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:55,734
Well hey, this is fun. To pals.
223
00:08:55,767 --> 00:08:56,902
- To pals.
224
00:09:00,872 --> 00:09:01,974
- Great nose.
225
00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:52,024
- Having
trouble finding happiness?
226
00:09:52,057 --> 00:09:54,093
At Brakesmate, we know
that sometimes you have to
227
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:56,362
take matters into your own
hands.
228
00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:58,197
Our app tells you where the
brakeline is
229
00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:01,634
on every make and model car
and how to dismantle it.
230
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:06,105
Over time, every relationship
ends. Why not choose when?
231
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:09,908
Our patented technology will
make it look like an accident.
232
00:10:09,941 --> 00:10:13,779
Stop swiping, stop searching,
start brakeline cutting,
233
00:10:13,812 --> 00:10:15,948
Brakesmates. Find Brakes.
15768
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