All language subtitles for The.Brokenwood.Mysteries.S10E06.720p.WEB.H264-DiMEPiECE

Jolly good.

Help me.

Help me.

Help me.

Rick?

Daddy...

Oh, no.
Too soon!

- The Grinch is here.
- I'm not a Grinch.

I just happen to think

that Christmas
has no place in November.

Well, I wouldn't
stand there, then.

What? Oh, God.

You might get seduced.

What, you think that
some tall, swarthy man

is going to come in here
and sweep me off my feet?

- Detective Sims.
- Oh, hi, sir.

D.C. Chalmers.

That was... Inspector Hughes. Yeah.

Yeah. What did he want?

Uh, he was in with Mike
when I got here.

Okay. Is that it?

That's all I know.

Ah, morning.

Morning.
Uh, coffee?

Uh, no.
Uh, Hughes came bearing.

Right.
Yes, uh, I did see him.

Just passing through,
was he, or...

Doing the rounds.

Um, dead body found
at Hackett's Glade.

No I.D.

As if he needs any.

Meaning?

The thorns.

The loincloth and wound
to the abdomen.

It is obvious who he is.
Jesus Christ.

Well, how about we just stick
with John Doe for now?

You don't know.

This could be
the second coming.

Well, if it is, he came
and went pretty quick.

Didn't make the news.

Hello, there.

I'm not sure
what brought you out here,

but clearly you have
a story to tell.

Or you were telling a story.

Uh, Dr. Plummer
found the victim.

Apparently,
his last word was "Daddy."

Daddy?

- That confirms it.
- What?

He did that on the cross,
crying out to the Holy Father.

"Daddy, why have you
forsaken me?"

Carry on, Gina.

- Dr. Plummer.
- Detective.

How are you bearing up?

I'm quite shaken,
I don't mind admitting.

It's not every day
a man dies at your feet.

Uh, this man... He just came crawling
out of the bush.

And you were out here... Uh, taking a walk.

A little me time just strolling
in the woods, as you do.

It's spring and we walk,
don't we?

Um, can you bag that?

Enjoying the sounds
of nature.

Quite normal.
Boss!

There's a clear blood trail
along here.

Into there.

Okay, this is getting weird.

Hey, Mike.

It's a fake.

Makes the whole getting out
of the cave thing a lot easier.

Mm.

Okay, so, loincloth,
crown of thorns,

cave, and a cross.

Baked beans. Coffee.

Uh, sawn-off shotgun
and a hunting knife.

Hey, uh, fingerprints
have come back

with a hit on our victim,
a Rick Faldo.

He's got a record for burgs,
car conversion.

Assaulted a petrol station
attendant in 2014.

Last known address
Cable Lane, Riverstone.

Gina.

Jesus awaits you, Mike.

Uh, I'm not sure he's...

I'm on my way.

He is the way.

Follow up on this
Rick Faldo.

Let me know
if he's definitely our man.

Okay.

- Did you see that?
- What?

He closed his door.
He hardly ever closes his door.

So?
So, I think
he's hiding something.

Well, the man's entitled
to his privacy.

Hmm. Is he, though,

if he's hiding something
from us,

something to do with Hughes
turning up out of the blue?

Uh, you're not going
in there?

W-Well...

If I have a file

that I need to drop
on his desk, then why not?

Are you sure this
is a good idea?

What if he's sick
or something?

Wouldn't you want to know
so that we could help?

Detective Sims.

Going somewhere?

Um...

Yes, actually, we are...

On our way to Riverstone
to follow up on a victim I.D.

I see.
Mm-hmm.

Then I won't get in your way.

But we should have a chat.

I'm here for a couple of days.
Catch me when you have a moment.

Okay, I-I will do that.

Carry on.

It's important, I take it.

Sorry. What?

Well, don't let me
put you off your stride.

Oh, um, of course I-I won't,
and I will.

And it is.

It is, of course.

Right, um,
we should hit the road.

Yeah.

Stay safe out there.
Yeah.

Hughes.

Okay, wow, that was close.

Yeah, well, it's your sign
not to go snooping.

I wasn't snooping,
I was following a lead.

You were caught in the act
of a near snoop.

What was he even
doing there, anyway?

Why does he want
to talk to you?

I don't know, but whatever
it is, it can't be good.

And here,
a hole in the palm.

Stigmata, Mike.

Uh, perhaps an old injury.

Stigmata is a very old
phenomenon.

And the wound to the abdomen
has all the signs

of an upward thrust
towards the heart.

Any idea what
caused the wound?

The spear of a Roman soldier.

What about
a hunting knife?

The Romans didn't
carry those.

Uh, Gina,
I-I don't think this man--

There is so much
we don't know.

There was a prophecy that
he would walk among us again.

I feel very privileged to be
the pathologist that served him.

I was unaware that you held
Christian beliefs, Gina.

There is so much you
don't know about me, Mike.

But one day, you will
know me inside and out.

- Uh, Anglican, Catholic?
- Greek Orthodox.

Their songs are more catchy.

Would you like me
to sing one?

Probably not--
in here.

It's not appropriate.

Another time.

A cup of coffee,
then we should get down to it.

- Yes?
- Uh, Cynthia Bassett?

Depends who's asking.

Detective Kristin Sims.

- D.C. Chalmers.
- Uh-huh.

We're, uh, making some inquiries
about a Rick Faldo.

Uh-huh.

Cynthia, what is your
relationship with Mr. Faldo?

Rick is my ex.

Uh, is there somewhere
we could sit down?

Why?

We need to discuss Mr. Faldo
with you. We have some news.

Whatever he's done,
it's got nothing to do with me.

Okay, uh, he was found
deceased this morning

at Hackett's Glade
in Brokenwood.

What did he do?

Nail himself to a cross again?

Ricky was a dreamer.

Always thought he was onto
the next big thing or big score.

Painting and sculpting were
all forms of self-expression

or purging of his demons,
I guess.

His one-year
anniversary present.

Everything he did
was kind of intense.

Just wears you down
after a while.

And so when you said,

"Did he nail himself
to a cross again?"

you literally meant...[Chuckles] Yeah.

Wasn't a metaphor.

Ricky thought
he was really the man,

and everything he did
was supposedly to help others.

But then that went
to extremes.

Cynthia!

Cynthia, I need a hand out here.

So, I kicked him out
after that.

Do you know where he went?

A week later
he turned up back here,

promising that
he'd sorted himself out,

but found him
out in the garden,

fashioning a Roman spear.

What are you doing?

I'm making you a gift...

for you to show your love.

When they put me up
on the cross...

...I want you to be the one
to pierce my heart.

Why would I do that, Rick?

Then you'll know
I'm dead.

Three days later,

I'll be in your arms again.

The world will rejoice.

So I kicked him out
for good.

And that was
two weeks ago.

So... how did he die?

Uh, well,
that is yet to be determined.

Mike, we have
Rick Faldo's ex-girlfriend,

who will identify the body.

Copy that.

You know, with Mike
still at the postmortem...

You should resist the urge.

Hey, um, Inspector Hughes
isn't around, is he?

He left an hour ago.

Good.

Sims.

Reverend Greene.

I'm sorry.
I need to report a robbery.

You've been burgled?

The church has.
Oh, I feel quite sick.

- St. Judas has been robbed?
- They've been stolen.

What has?
The three gold leaves
of Jesus.

Thank you.

The three gold leaves of Jesus
are the most precious object

owned by all 10
of the Diocese of St. Judas.

They're believed to be
the gold presented

by one of the three wise kings
at the birth of Christ.

Well, every 10 years
we in Brokenwood

have the privilege
of hosting,

a huge hit with the parish.

Everyone comes to take communion
and admire the display.

And so what better way

to celebrate
such an auspicious occasion

than with a fully
professional nativity play?

They almost seemed heaven-sent.

They?
God's Players.

Hark, Reverend, we come
from Riverstone in the Far East

to share the joy
of the season.

We are God's Players,

here to offer you

a fully professional rendition
of the Nativity.

Gosh, an--
- an actual donkey.
- This is Maddie.

Do you charge a fee?

We ask for nothing but to be
held in your prayers, Reverend.

That we may continue
on our pilgrimage.

To share the word of God.

Well, um...

Sunday?

I'll get the word out
to all the flock.

Just in time, Johnny.

Yeah, she's a hungry
little bit--

Bi-donkey.

Reverend!

- Johnny, isn't it?
- Yeah.

Oh, wait.
Sorry. Hang on.

Johnny Oades is a member
of God's Players?

I admit to being
a little surprised myself,

but it seems he's
very much seen the light.

Johnny Oades is
a born-again Christian?

Nothing to be sneezed at
for a man

who's quite clearly illiterate.

When did you accept
Jesus into your heart?

Oh, a while ago.

Yeah, I had some time
on my hands,

so I read the Bible
cover to cover.

Yes, it's quite
a page turner, isn't it?

Any favorite passages?

Oh, I thought the first
chapter was pretty good.

Geronimo!

Let there be light,
and there was light.

Any others?

A little further in?
Revelations, perhaps.

Oh, yeah. I had
a few revelations, for sure.

Like how Jesus was
actually an amazing cook.

You know, turning all
that fish into bread.

And, you know,
basically,

he was just
a real good guy,

going around
helping people all the time.

He's a bit like me, really.

And Rick.
Rick knows a lot about Jesus.

So, these players
just turned up out of the blue

and offered to perform?

Reverend Greene: Like I said,
almost heaven-sent-- almost.

And this
nativity play went ahead?

Yes, as planned on Sunday.

I don't think they were quite

what they made themselves
out to be.

♪ Away in a manger,
no crib for a bed ♪

♪ The little Lord Jesus
lay down his sweet head ♪

The innkeeper said there was
no room at the inn,

but fortunately he offered us
the use of his manger.

Hurry, Joseph.
It's almost time.

Giddy-up, donkey!

Gosh, what a cozy manger.

Make yourself comfortable,
my love.

It won't be long now.

Gosh, what a bright star

that shines above
in the night sky.

I said what a bright star

that shines yonder
in the night sky.

Hark!

Hark! I am the three wise kings
from the Oriental.

I am Balthasar,
and I bring myrrh.

I am Melchoir,
and I bring Frankenstein.

And I am Jasper,

and I bring three
gold olive leaves

made of pure gold.

Oh, Joseph. It's time.
Hark!

My virgin wife
is going into labor.

Allow me.
Some modesty.

For not only am I a wise king,
I am also a doctor.

I will help
deliver the baby.

Breathe, Mary.
Relax and breathe.

Let us all sing.

♪ Away in a manger,
no crib for a bed ♪

Get out of it!
No! Down!

♪ ...Jesus lay down
his sweet head ♪

Harkness! It's a boy.

A sweet little baby boy.

Lo and behold,
I have a son!

- A son of man.
- And of woman.

A son who grows into a man

and will lead his people
into the light.

It is I.

Him.

Me.

And I am here to serve you
as our Father's servant,

to spread the word
of our Father.

I come to you as Jesus,
son of God,

for I am the way,
the truth, and the life.

Reverend Greene: Traditionally,
with the Nativity,

we end on baby Jesus
emerging from the crib.

As an adult,
Jesus was unorthodox.

Um, so, from what
you're saying,

the gold leaves were
still there at that point.

So it seemed.

Perhaps I should show you.

Dull.
The glimmer is gone.

Painted tin.
Not gold at all.

It was Mrs. Baker
who noticed it.

Reverend! Reverend!

So, they were switched.

Reverend Greene: And amongst
the festivities, nobody noticed.

You believe
this happened during the play?

We've had a security guard
stationed here at all times.

The gold leaves,
how much are they valued at?

Oh, they're quite
simply priceless.

Johnny Oades was
in a nativity play?

It does take
- some processing, but yes.
- Huh.

And the leader of these players
is our victim, Rick Faldo?

Who ended up dead after the gold
leaves were discovered missing.

- A heist gone wrong?
- Seems like it.

Did Gina give
a cause of death?

Uh, the abdomen wound
nicked an artery.

Uh, internal bleeding
over a 24-hour period.

- And a weapon?
- Gina thinks a spear tip.

Well, according to his ex,
Cynthia Bassett,

Rick made a spear for her
to kill him with.

Yeah, she also states

that Rick was
a complicated person

who had significant
mental health issues

and he should have been
under the supervision

of a medical professional.

Are we discounting
the hunting knife?

Uh, it came up negative
for traces of blood.

Where is Johnny Oades
these days?

Uh, last known address
was Tahuna Point.

His home detention
expired three weeks ago.

I took a spin up there,

but it looks like
he's moved out.

And these two?
Nothing.

Reverend Greene thinks
he heard the guy playing Joseph

being called Errol.

But the woman playing Mary

was only ever
referred to as Mary.

Mm.

Good.
Good?
How is that good?

The disappearance of the gold
leaves

and Rick Faldo's death
can't be a coincidence.

We find the leaves,
chances are

that we find the person
or persons who killed him.

I've, uh, got a meeting.

See if you can
track down Johnny.

I'll, uh, catch you later.

Okay.

"Catch you later"?

When has he ever been
so nonchalant?

He's not well, is he?

That could be a stretch.

He's got head honcho business
going on.

I'm going in.

Uh, seriously?
Is that wise?

Something is going on.

We need to find out
what it is.

So cover me.

Hey, I'm doing this for us.

This is on you.

Well, sky falling?

Um...

He's getting a promotion.

Okay.
It's a good thing, then.

At Central.

Mike's leaving Brokenwood.

Why try to hide it if it's not
already a done deal?

You can't say anything.

Why not?
He'll ask how you knew.

Then the whole snooping thing
will be revealed.

- Frodo.
- Detectives.

Uh, sorry,
I've switched off the machine.

We're not after coffees.

Have you seen your cousin
Johnny lately?

Johnny?
No, not for ages.

Probably because
he's been on home D.

Well, not even a postcard.

That finished
- three weeks ago.
- Okay.

He's been seen
around town.

Well, I mean,
not by me.

Okay, well, uh,
if you do see him,

- can you let us know?
- Sure.

Or you could ask
my half cousin, Errol.

I saw him earlier.

Maddie!
Have you seen a donkey?

She-- She's about
donkey height.

Errol!
Man, long time, no see.

Here you are.

Hey, Frodo.

Awesome to see you, too.
What have you been up to?

Oh, you know,
just making coffees.

Oh, okay. Um...

I lost my donkey.

Which is a big deal,

because, you know,
some people have support dogs,

but Errol, he has a donkey,
so losing Maddie is not good.

Errol is your cousin?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

And where does Errol live?

He's an itinerary.

He moves around a lot
in his van.

- With a donkey?
- Yeah.

- You got a number for him?
- No, but you could try Johnny.

Errol said he
and his girlfriend, Mary,

were staying with him
for a while.

But you haven't seen Johnny?

No, but I will tomorrow.

Errol said
he'll bring him around

for a coffee and a catch up.

Did he say what time?

Yeah, uh, around 10:00.

Okay, great. Thanks, Frodo.

Fantastic.
Awesome.

Why do I feel like
I've just lost time

that I will never get back?

Mm.

- Senior?
- Yes.

You're wanted.

Dr. Plummer.

Detective.

You knew the victim.

I should have
mentioned it earlier,

but I was conflicted.

Client-patient privilege,
you see.

How long did you
treat Mr. Faldo?

A few times only.

He wasn't overly receptive
to being in treatment.

You meeting Mr. Faldo there,
that was prearranged?

No, I swear, I was just...

It was a complete coincidence.

He was sent to you
through the courts?

Yes, but I hadn't seen him
since the nail gun incident.

This is the reward I get
for trying to help people.

Stigmatized
as a raving lunatic.

No one is calling
you that, Rick.

But you're thinking it.

I know what you're thinking.

Let's talk about the hand.

What were you thinking
when you felt compelled

to do that to yourself?

I wanted to take
everyone's pain and suffering.

Channel it.
Carry it for others.

You got a problem with that?

No, it's very generous.

But you'd been drinking,
I believe, quite heavily.

Do not judge,
or you, too, will be judged.

This comes not from judgment,
but from concern.

And what about Cynthia?

Did you not pause to think
how this would affect her,

having to confront
what you had done to yourself?

Cynthia gets it.

She gets me.

Then why did she kick you out?

I don't need a house.

Material things.

Besides...

...I have a cave.
I see.

And you plan to live
in this cave?

More than live.

Come back to life.

Are you suggesting
that your patient

was planning to... Stage a resurrection.

Yes.
Rick was an extreme case.

It's quite possible
he orchestrated his own demise,

firmly believing
he would come back to life.

Huh.
Just like Jesus.

Except he didn't want
to be like Jesus.

He actually thought
he was Jesus.

How common affliction
is this?
Not uncommon,

people overextending
themselves to help others.

But in Mr. Faldo's case,

he was poised at
the extreme edge of sanity.

Something else, since we're
being open and frank.

Yes.

The little bell Detective Sims
found at the scene...

Could I have it back?

This one?
Ah, such a relief.

They're tuned to C sharp.
Very hard to find.

May I?
Uh, can you assure me

that this has nothing to do
with Rick Faldo's death?

I take it
this is confidential.

As you well know.

That morning
in Hackett's Glade,

I was rehearsing
for a convention.

Convention of...
Morris dancing,

and I thought I was alone.

This was the "me time"
- that you were referring to.
- Quite.

And out of the blue,
there was Rick.

I take it this is not something
that your husband partakes in.

Lucas doesn't know.

Why the secret?

Surely the only thing worse
than a man of the cloth

being married
to another man

is being married
to a pagan.

Oh, no way.

Gina, these decorations...

way too soon.

But I love Christmas.

It can never come
soon enough.

Oh, my God.
What are you wearing?

Hmm? Mm!

In Russia, the brown bears
go into hibernation

at this time of the year.

On this day, we honor them.

Ah.

So it's a tradition.

In Vladivostok, yes.
In Moscow, not so much.

In Irkutsk, they honor
the tundra bean goose.

Interesting. Interesting.

Okay, um, listen, Gina,
I have to tell you something.

You're pregnant?
What?

Oh, my God, no.
Good.

I thought you might want your
spare room back for a nursery.

Huh.

Okay, uh, no, but actually,
just on that--

Just so you know,
the renovations

at my house--
Are finished?

Have been delayed further.

I need to stay some more.

But don't worry,
I'm happy here.

Good. Of course.

Uh, so another week or...

A month should do it.

Now, you have news?

Yes.
Uh, i-it's about Mike.

He's sick?

- No, he's not sick.
- Such a relief.

But he is getting
a promotion.

Detective Inspector.

Oh, my God,
I'm so happy for him.

Back in the city, at Central.

Mike is leaving?

Seems that way.

You did something,
didn't you?

No, I--
How could you?

Gina, I had no--Oh, stop talking.

When you speak,
I hear thorns.

- Horns?
- Thorns.

Sharpness in my ears.

Bad news.

I'm going back to bed.

Well, I'd say that went as well
as can be expected.

Dr. Plummer.

Uh, he wasn't
entirely truthful

about his connection
to the victim.

He treated
Rick Faldo briefly.

At least
he was getting treatment.

Yeah. Clearly needed it.

Dr. Plummer believes that

Mr. Faldo was capable
of self-harm.

He did this to himself?

In a misguided attempt
at staging a resurrection.

Possibly.

Makes sense of the cave.

Okay, so if the theft
of the gold leaves is connected,

he steals them

and then commits
some weird form of hari-kari.

- Where's the logic?
- Well, he's mentally unstable.

Maybe there isn't any.

Do we know true value
of the leaves?

- Yeah, $250,000.
- So the stakes were high.

So what about this, then?
Is this actually real gold?

No, it is part
of a Morris dancing outfit,

as worn by Dr. Plummer
when he came across Rick Faldo.

Morris dancing?
Mm-hmm.
A secret passion of his.

He came here in strict
confidence, of course.

Oh, so you mean
when we see Reverend Greene,

we shouldn't say,
"Do you know your husband dances

with tiny bells
attached to his ankles?"Correct.

Hey, uh, is that who you had
- a meeting with last night?
- Hmm?

You said you had a meeting.
Was it with Dr. Plummer?

Uh, no. Hughes. Uh, uh,
then Dr. Plummer called him.

And how was Inspector Hughes?

Is he all good
these days, or...

No, I believe so, yes.

No... news?

Not that I'm aware of.

Well, uh, yeah,
we got to get going.

We've got a lead
on Johnny Oades, so...

Hello, Johnny.

- Don't do it.
- He's not doing anything.

Yeah, I'm not doing nothing.

Good. Because I wouldn't
want you to run.

I'm not running.

♪ I've told myself before

Good luck.

♪ These half-constructed lies,
they tell me I'm not worth it ♪

♪ Here's a little tip,
make it believable ♪

♪ Else what's the point?

♪ You don't even try

♪ And that is why
I'm saying goodbye ♪

Give it up, Johnny!

♪ You don't even try
to tell good lies ♪

♪ Now I got...

We need to talk.

Let go of the carrots,
Errol.

♪ I'm giving you my money,
I'm driving you around ♪

♪ You're hanging
with your loser friends ♪

♪ And then you can't be found

Errol, we are interested
in your relationship

with Rick Faldo.

Uh-huh.
What about it?

Well, he was found dead
yesterday at Hackett's Glade.

I lost my donkey.
She's called Maddie.

Uh, well, hopefully
she'll turn up soon.

But in the meantime,
Rick Faldo?

I didn't know him.

Hmm, well, that's strange,

because this photo

shows you and Mr. Faldo
and a woman called Mary,

who we believe to be
your girlfriend, together.

Yeah, but I-I didn't
know him that well.

Well, perhaps we should
talk to Mary.

Do you know
how we can find her?

I don't know, she could be
anywhere right now.

Because you live in a van?

Yes. It moves.

So, you sleep on
the side of the road,

car parks, camp outs
beside a pretty stream?

Yeah. You got it.

Van life.
Yeah. In a van.

- Living the dream.
- Yeah.

- Where'd you park last night?
- Uh, Sloan Park.

Nice and flat,
and there's a tap you can use.

Yes. Excuse me.

Um, where's he going?

He is going to locate
your girlfriend

because we will need her
to verify your story.

Right. Well.

These are the three
gold leaves of Jesus.

They went missing
from St. Judas

not long after you
and your troupe performed there.

Do you happen to know
where they are?

No, I really don't.

Can I make a phone call?

Okay, but, uh,
just to be clear,

you're not under arrest.

I got to call
my lawyer, so...

Again, you are not being
charged with anything, Errol.

I got to make a call.

To your lawyer.

Why don't you follow me

and I'll show you
where the phone is?

Hello?
Mary.

Errol, are you okay?

Johnny just said
what happened.

Mary, listen
really carefully.

Run.
Run. Okay. Where?

Mary, the cops are coming.

Go! Just go.

Poor form, Errol.

Shit! Johnny!

Johnny! Johnny!

Johnny, the cops are coming!

Remember the
triangle of silence.

Johnny, push!

Shit.

D.C. Chalmers,
work with CIB.

Suspect on foot, heading east
from Slain Park.

Jeans, leather vest,
and possibly holding a cabbage.

Aaah!

Any idea
where Johnny's going?

No.

Let's go.

♪ What makes the soul
connect to you? ♪

♪ I only know
it's what I do ♪

♪ We're born apart,
we fall in love ♪

♪ It's all untold,
but I am sold ♪

♪ This silly love,
this silly love ♪

Mary, you seemed intent
on leaving the scene

after a police officer
instructed you to stop.

Why was that?

I didn't know you were a cop.

I showed you my I.D.

Could have been a fake.

It wasn't.

Well, if you want
to talk about fakes...

What do you know
about these?

They look like gold leaves.

Well, these ones are
a precious holy relic.

The others are cheap tin,
lacquered in gold paint.

Mm-hmm.

But you already knew that,
of course,

because they were props

in a nativity play
you were part of.

Oh, right. Yeah.
Those ones.

The thing is, the real ones
went missing

after your performance.

Gosh, it's a shame.

Do you know where they are?

No.
Okay.
Are you sure about that?

I don't know
where they are.

Your boyfriend Errol
said the same thing.

Well, Errol knows a lot,
so if he doesn't know,

it's probably not something
that's known.

- What about Johnny Oades?
- What about him?

Do you think
he might know where they are?

He doesn't know.

You seem certain of that.

If he knew,
he would have told me.

Because you have
some interest

in their whereabouts, obviously.

Were you and Johnny
responsible

for the disappearance
of the gold leaves?

Where is Errol going?

He's being taken
to our cells.

He's been charged
with obstructing

our police investigation.

I need to talk to him.

Mary, a man is dead,

and a holy relic
has been stolen.

So, let's quit the stalling,
shall we,

and get some facts
on the table.

I have nothing more to say.

Well, let's
make you a coffee.

Okay, so I say
you take Errol,

and I'll carry on
with Mary

because one of them has to
give up something useful soon.

Sounds like a plan.

Okay, maybe we let Mary sweat
for a bit longer.

Or do I put him off?

- Go, I'll man the fort.
- Okay, great.

And I'm going to demand
some clarity.

Sorry to leave you
with all of this.

Hey, it's
for the greater good.

There you go.

Oat flat white for you,

and long black
for General Hughes.

Thank you, Franklin.

I'm not quite a general,
but nice coffee.

Of course.
Whatever you say.

Police, not military.

Oh, and modest, too.

That's what they say
about great leadership.

Always lead from the hip.

I think
that's ballroom dancing.

But, yes,
leadership is important.

Thanks, Frodo.

So...

To what do I owe
the pleasure?

Change is afoot.

Mike.

He's told you.

Not directly, but we--

I surmised.

And that is why we pay you
the big bucks.

It's an important offer.

He was already D.I.
when he arrived here.

We can't have him retiring
on a D.S.S. salary.

So, it's about the money.

It's about putting
the best people

where they can make
the most difference.

Right now,
Central is lacking the best.

Our loss is their gain.

Not necessarily.

I thought Mike liked it here.

As I said, we have
to think about his future.

He's probably suited
to a bit more admin work.

Mike, admin?

This is a guy who has
a cassette player in his car,

a car that predates
the horse and carriage.

He's only just discovered
the fountain pen.

I sense resistance to change,
Detective Sims.

We're a good team.

Of course, that would
involve change for you, too,

Detective Sergeant.

Another 12 months, and you
could be senior sergeant.

You want me
to run the station?

Have a think about it.

When Mike completes
the paperwork, I'll be in touch.

I'll leave you
to get back to surmising.

How well did you know
Rick Faldo?

Not really at all.

Errol's cousin
Johnny introduced us.

Yeah, so,
this is Errol...

and Mary.

So, your name
is really Mary?
Yes.

Don't tell me
your last name is Magdalene.

I won't. It's Mary.

Mary Mary?

Her dad said she was so good,
he named her twice.

And is she?

What?

So good.

She's a really good person, yeah.

Welcome, Mary.
Welcome, Errol.

And this is Maddie.

She's a donkey.
Not just any donkey, Rick.

A Jerusalem donkey.

Behold a cross.

Well done, Johnny.

Let the earth bring forth

living creatures
after their kind.

Cattle, creeping things,
and beasts of the earth

after their kind.

And it was so.

Come, let us rehearse.

Errol, you shall play Joseph.

Mary, you shall play Mary.

Johnny, you shall play
three wise men.

Yeah, I can see that.
What about you?

I shall play the baby Jesus.

And you shall play the donkey.

Did Mr. Faldo ever mention
the three gold leaves of Jesus?

Everything was his fault.
It was all his fault.

If it was his fault,
how did he end up dead?

Because he was a bad person.

Rick could be nasty.

What the hell is that?

He's Joseph.

And this is my amazing
Technicolor dreamcoat.

I made it!

Take it off!

What?
I said take it off!

In the Bible,
there was two Josephs.

Well, that's confusing.

Your Joseph was
the father of Jesus,

a humble man, not dressed as
some cheap Las Vegas magician.

I mean,
do your bloody research!

He was mean to Errol.
Really mean.

And you didn't like that.

Are you taking the piss?

What?
No, I-I did my research.

Joseph was a carpenter,
so I thought...

No, you don't think, okay?
I do the thinking.

This has to be
a high-class show,

so we need to up our game.

Idiot!

Jesus just called you
an idiot.

How does that
- make you feel?
- Ashamed.

- But Joseph was a carpenter.
- Not when Jesus was born.

He was on holiday.
It was Christmas.

So, what should he be wearing?

I don't know,
whatever carpenters wear

when they're on holiday.

Karma--
it'll get you in the end.

By "karma," you mean
Rick was mean to Errol,

therefore he died?

- Yes.
- But being mean to someone

is hardly reason
to get them killed, is it?

Or is it?

Did Errol take it badly?

Did he or Johnny or perhaps
yourself seek revenge on Rick?

I didn't see who killed Rick.

But someone did.

Someone you know?

I never said that.

You're free to go.

What about Errol?

Errol will be staying
with us a little longer.

This is so wrong.

If you do
come across the leaves,

be sure to tell us.

It will go a long way to making
at least some of this right.

Can we not keep her in?

Uh, more use at liberty.

She's not going anywhere
with Errol in custody.

I went to see Gina today.

There was a notice up
saying she was unwell.

Uh, yeah.

I think she's feeling a bit
under the weather.

Hmm.

Gina never gets sick.

Well, life is full
of surprises, Mike.

Hmm.

♪ Little heart, go slow

♪ I'm already here, you know

♪ Over the lake,
you see the wind blow ♪

♪ Through the trees
and through the snow ♪

♪ Winter comes around

♪ A heart beats slow,
senses all shut down ♪

♪ Resistance in the coil

♪ The teacup waits
as the water starts to boil ♪

Is Mary okay?

As far as I know,
she's doing fine.

Did she say anything
about Maddie?

No, other than
she's still missing.

Your donkey--

she's very important to you,
isn't she?

Yes.

Maddie!

Maddie, Maddie, Maddie!

Maddie!

Maddie, where are you?

Here, girl.
Come on. Maddie.

Come on.

Here, girl.

- Maddie! Maddie!
- Maddie!

This is all your fault.

Hey, don't have a go at me.

Maddie, come to Johnny.

Don't say that.
Why not?

It sounds creepy.

Maddie, come to the man
with carrots.

Hey!

Hey, you.
Yes?

- What are you doing?
- I'm practicing.

It's an ancient dance form.

Care to join in?
It's, uh, most liberating.

Ah, no,
but can you keep it down?

Sorry,
this is a public space.

Yeah, but those bells,
they're not good.

I-I'm sorry, but--
Hi.

We're looking
for our lost donkey.

You haven't seen her?

A donkey? No.

The freaky little bells,
they'll scare her away.

Do you think maybe you could
just stop moving around so much?

It rather defeats
the purpose.

Her name is Maddie.
She's really cute and very lost.

Maddie the donkey?

And they had
an actual donkey.

Quite the crowd favorite.

I'm so sorry, Lucas.

I fear what the Archbishop
will say.

I could be in
for a right defrocking.

And you said the man playing
Jesus was called Rick?

Yes.

The devil in disguise,
I fear.

Uh, well, if I see her...

Our van's
in the parking lot.

Just tie her up,
and we'll come and get her.

Jolly good.

Oh, is that the time?
Must dash.

What a clown.

Maddie!

Maddie!
Maddie!

Police, please.
It's urgent.

It's not my fault.

It's Rick's
and you and Errol.

- It is not.
- Well, it's your donkey.

I'm just the messenger getting
shot from all sides here.

Everybody's fault but yours,
eh, Johnny?

Don't even think
about running.

He's mine!

Hi, Mary.

We need to reevaluate
your ability to tell the truth.

♪ My, my, my sweet mama
warned me 'bout ya ♪

♪ But I just can't live
without ya now ♪

Give it up, Johnny!

♪ Oh, man,
you hit me like a Western ♪

♪ Shootin', bang-bang, pow-pow

♪ Sparks flew,
I knew that I wanted you ♪

♪ Didn't matter what it took

♪ Can't eat, can't sleep,
now I'm in neck deep ♪

♪ All because
you gave me that look ♪

♪ Woo-hoo, baby

♪ You drive me
a little bit crazy ♪

♪ Bye bye, so long,
lonely days are long gone ♪

♪ Baby, since you made me go
woo-hoo ♪

Yeah, D.C. Chalmers.
I've lost the suspect.

I was closing in,
but he's vanished.

Yeah.
Abandon pursuit.

Copy that.
Returning to base.

Gotcha.

God!
No running now, Johnny.

Here you go.
Merry Christmas.

And the head
of international policing

will be coming vacant
in January.

Sounds like
a lot of paperwork.

And a lot of travel.

You know it's a matter
of when, not if.

So you keep saying.

Look, I need
to get back to it.

- See you, Frodo.
- Merry Christmas.

Detective...
Oh, carry on, Mike,

but we need to move
on this soon, okay?

Thanks, Simon.

Sorry to interrupt.

No developments,
I take it.

Uh, we have people helping us
with our inquiries.

Jolly good.
And the leaves?

Uh, not yet,
but I'm quietly hopeful.

Right, well, some good news,
at least.

I need to see a patient.

Have a good day, Lucas.

You, too, Roger.

There he goes.

You can almost hear the little
jingles of his tiny bells.

I'm sorry?

My husband's
keeping a secret from me.

He thinks I don't know.

Morris dancing,
would you believe?
I would.

It was mentioned
in his debrief

on finding the victim
at Hackett's Glade.

It's a shame when
we can't tell each other

what we're feeling,
what our needs are.

Even when it's ridiculous
behavior with garters and bells.

At first, I thought
it was just an excuse

to seek the company
of other men.

In the end,
where's the harm

with men waving
handkerchiefs around?

And the floral hats
are quite fetching.

No, no, I know
one's not supposed to spy,

but he was making
too many excuses

about offering up
"pastoral care."

Something wasn't adding up.

So, one day I followed him,
only to be nearly rumbled.

Friends of yours?

Oh, um...

No. Well, yes.

But, um, I, um...

My father used to do it--
the dancing.

I reckon he did it to ward off
evil spirits, keep them at bay.

When was this?

Uh, the same day I realized
the leaves were gone.

Wednesday. Why?

Could you come
down to the station?

I'm not a peeping Tom,

Oh, I'm sure,
but what you saw,

it could be useful.

Yes. This--
This is the woman.

And her demeanor?
Was she on edge at all?

No, no. Quite civil.

You really look like
you want to join them.

Oh, no, no.
No, I'm-- I'm not here.

You understand?
Same for me.

Okay?

But now
that I think about it,

there was something
unusual about her, yes.

Once again, Johnny,
did you steal

the three gold leaves
of Jesus?

- I did not.
- Okay, then.

Do you know who did?

Who?
As in who?

I can't remember.

It's not a
difficult question, Johnny.

No, I don't know who.

- Did you kill Rick Faldo?
- I did not,

and I think you need to tread
very carefully here.

- Why is that?
- Because anything
you might accuse me of

can only be seen
as religious prosecution.

How does that work?

Because as a Christian,

I feel that you are targeting me
because of my beliefs.

Well, we're not.

We simply believe
that you were involved

in two serious crimes

committed in Brokenwood
this past week.

A robbery
and a suspicious death.

Well, it can't have been me,

because, as I said,
I'm a Christian.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And when did you
see the light?

- When I found Jesus.
- Sure, you did.

Just like every other criminal
hoping for an early release.

- Who are you calling a criminal?
- You, Johnny.

You just did
12 months home detention

for aiding and abetting,
misuse of human remains,

accessory after the fact.

Yeah, yeah. Alright.
No need to get personal.

But I did.
I met him.

Who?
Jesus. In person.

- Where?
- At the Croc and Panther.

There's something
you should know about me.

Oh, yeah. What's that?

I am the good shepherd.

The good shepherd lays down
his life for the sheep.

Yeah, for sure.

I've heard that farming life
can get pretty intense.

You're not listening, Johnny.

The thing about sheep is
they need to be fed.

Uh-huh, grass, right?
They like grass.

Well, when the grass runs out,

as the good shepherd,
I need to supply them with feed.

Or...

All the sheep die.
That's right.

Do you want the sheep
to die, Johnny?
No.

What does it take
to get more feed?

Um, More grass?

No, more money.
Oh!

It takes money.
Right. Yeah.

Money to buy the feed.

And where do we get the money?

Uh, a bank?
A church.

So, you are admitting that you
made a plan to rob St. Judas?

No, I'm admitting
that Rick Faldo,

who was actually Jesus,
made a plan to rob the church.

And Jesus can't rob the church
because he is the church,

so therefore no crime
was committed.

Okay, a couple of things.
Rick Faldo was not Jesus.

Well, that's easy
for you to say.

No,
it's just a fact, Johnny.

Rick Faldo was born in 1977,
in Lower Hutt.

He was also a man suffering

from some pretty
severe mental health issues--

delusions of grandeur,
for one.

And the gold leaves
of Jesus...

Jesus,
who is not Rick Faldo.

...went missing from St. Judas.

They were subbed out
for these...

...three tin leaves crudely
daubed in gold paint.

Look familiar?

No, I have
never seen those before.

Well, strange, because your
fingerprints are all over them.

Because you brought them
into the church

during the nativity play

where you, surprisingly,
played a wise king.

And I am Jasper,

And I bring three
gold olive leaves

made of pure gold.

Now would be a very good time
to be wise, Johnny.

Oh, those leaves.
Yeah, I remember now.

What do you remember,
Johnny?

The thing is...

Rick could be very pervasive.

Holy... oh!

- Believe me now?
- You're the real deal.

Think about what I said,
and then ask yourself,

do you want to save
the sheep, Johnny?

Or do you want
to let them die?

I thought
I'd find you here.

- Cynthia.
- Where is it?

The money.

Cynthia, this is Johnny.

Hi.

Well?

That was my money, Rick.

It was a rainy-day account.

Now what?

You're just going to sit here
and drink it away?

Hey, the rains will come,
the crops will grow.

All be replenished.

I swear to God,
I'm going to lose my...

Outside.

I want to talk
to you outside.

Nice drinking with you,
- fella.
- Yeah.

So, it turns out even Jesus can
have trouble with his missus.

Look, if Rick's done something,
that's on him,

- not me.
- Or Errol or Mary?

You're all just
innocent parties.

Yeah, I think that's fair.

Don't lie to us, Johnny.

God's honest, Detective.

Maybe Rick's done something,
and the truth has died with him.

And all I can say is that
that is a tragedy.

So?

So what?
Can I go now?

Yes.

Yeah.

What the hell?

You can't charge me
for throwing a cabbage.

At a member
of the public, Johnny.

I believe that's called
dangerous use of a brassica.

Plus, you're in breach
of your parole conditions,

so take some time out
to reflect on that.

Errol, anything to add
to your statement?

Um, I don't think so.

Nice work, Errol.
- Good remembering.
- What?

The triangle of silence.

And what is
the triangle of silence?

Um...
Errol.

Hmm?

I don't remember.

Well, if Johnny Oades
is to be believed,

Rick stole money
from Cynthia Bassett.

And Reverend Greene
confirmed seeing Cynthia

the day before
Rick was found dead.

Did he say
what she was doing?

Hitting out of the bush.

You should join them.

Have you been hunting?

In a manner of speaking.

Cynthia Bassett,
who has a firearm license.

And we know that Rick was
wounded 24 hours before he died.

By his ex wielding
a Roman spear, maybe?

♪ Hey, mama, don't cry

♪ I'm going home

♪ To the other side

♪ I'm going up where I belong

♪ Where this world
won't do me no harm ♪

♪ Going up to take Jesus' hand

♪ Lead me
into that promised land ♪

Holy mother of...

What do you think?

Uh, I think it looks like
a bomb went off in here.

Good baking requires
freedom of expression.

Wow, it's very, um...

...green.
It's Brokenwood.

You see here?
Pateke Point.

Mike's workplace,
and the mortuary.

And you think this is
going to make him stay?

At least I'm doing something.
What are you doing?

Seriously, Kristin,
what are you doing?

Or is Mike's departure
something you want?

So, this belongs to you?

Yeah.

That's why I was there.
I was looking for it.

I didn't realize
it had gone until...

The bastard had sawn it off.

It was my father's.
He used it to shoot rabbits.

It was sentimental.

A pump-action shotgun,
pistol grip?

Not your typical rabbit gun.

You use what you can get
your hands on, I suppose.

Anyway, I was worried.

I figured he might be
planning something stupid.

Even though you
and he had split?

It's hard not to care,
you know?

And you told my colleague
Rick drove you nuts?

We have subsequently learned
that he took money from you.

Stealing money-- I mean,
how did that make you feel?

He took it.
I never said he stole it.

Those are
two different things.

And he promised
he would pay it back.

By stealing from a church?

I didn't know anything
about that.

So, you, um, went
to check up on him?

How did you know
where he'd be?

I had been up
to the campsite before.

You can come home, Rick.
Why don't you come home?

Too much to do, Cynth.
Too many lives to save.

Not enough time.

We have to rehearse.

You must go.

What are you rehearsing?

The end...

and the new beginning.

Rick, I love you.

Jesus loves you, Cynthia.

And that was
the last time I saw him.

Rehearse--
did he say what?

No.

But I can imagine.

The resurrection.

He was obsessed
by that notion.

Not a nativity play?

He never mentioned that.

And the spear?

When I went looking
for my gun,

there was no sign of it
or him.

Rick!

Rick!

Rick!

Where was it?

Uh, we found it in a cave...

...with a spent cartridge
in the spout.

Was...

Was he found in a cave?

Uh, some distance away.

That crazy bastard.

He almost pulled it off.

Mrs. Baker?

Thank you for meeting me
on such short notice.

Anything to help out
the local constabulary.

Well, we need a cake for Mike,
a special one.

I can't bake,
and for the record,

neither can Gina Kadinsky.

Oh, Mike Shepherd's found
a lovely lady.

I knew he would.

- Not a wedding cake.
- Oh, birthday?

I do do birthdays.
Special ones.

O.M.G. He's not turning s--Not a birthday.

Well, why then?

Uh, this--

this has to stay
on the complete down-low.

But Mike is... moving on.

He's dying?

No, no, no, no,
he's being transferred.

Oh, thank God for that!

- Wait!
- Mike Shepherd's leaving
Brokenwood?

Well, um, okay,
can we just maybe

keep our voices down
a little bit?

But he is the only thing

standing between order
and complete anarchy.

Um, well,
we do work as a team.

Also, he's quite dishy,

you know,
in a rustic kind of way.

Is it a surprise?

Yeah. For Mike.

Um, well,
for all of us, actually.

Well, tell him
she's coming.

Be a good night for a farewell
if a shindig's in order.

Tami Neilson's coming
to the Croc and Panther.

She's supposed to be
at the Snake and Tiger,

but Ray double booked her

with an Iron Maiden
tribute band.

Right.

Uh, be a good night
for a half decent bloke.
Mm.

Yeah.
Um, actually, Trudy,

do you, um...

Do you remember seeing
this man in the pub at all?

See, I'm--No narc. Yes, I know.

I know.
I'm not asking you to narc.

I'm just asking you
to remember

whether he came in here
with his girlfriend

who was accusing him
of stealing money.

- Does that ring any bells?
- Yeah, the fisherman.

He was in
a few weeks ago

with Johnny Oades,
causing quite a stink.

Ahh.

- Nice drinkin' with you, fella.
- Yeah.

Something smells fishy.

Oh, nothing to see here,
Trudy.

Just two honest gents
sharing an ale.

No, something
smells fishy.

- Man's got to eat.
- Oh, not in here.

Settle your tab
and get it gone

before you
stink the place out.

Watch.

$65.50.

What the hell am I supposed
to do with that?!

- Feed the multitudes.
- Beer for fish--
is that it?

Cook the fish.
It will feed many.

Oh, no, you don't!
Johnny!

Get back here now
and sort this tab.

Take your mate's bloody fish
with you.

Took me two days to get
the smell out of the bar.

Why? What's he done?

Um, found himself dead.
Mm.

Oh, uh, hang out
with Johnny Oades...

Oh! Okay!
I've had an inspiration.

OMG!

Thanks, Trudy.

We have a blood match
on the spear.

Gina is better, then.

Um... somewhat.

This was the weapon
that killed him.

Okay, great.
Thanks, Gina.

I'm going
back to bed now.

Don't ask.

Our fingerprint hits
on the spear--

Cynthia Bassett, Rick Faldo,
Johnny O'Neal Oades,

and Mary Mary.

Want to go in
and bash some heads?

Knock some sense
into them.

Wishful thinking, I know.

Mm.

The spear
was found in the vicinity

of where Rick Faldo died.

I don't know anything
about a spear.

A Roman spear...

like this one.

No.
Strange.

It has
your fingerprints on it.

Well,
I never touched that, so...

Okay.
Are you sure about that?

Because we searched your phone
and found these pictures.

Okay, okay.

But, look, we were
just mucking around.

I've never even been
to Rome.

Hmm.

Even more interesting
than that,

there was blood on the spear.

It matches Rick Faldo's.

So there was a plan
to steal the leaves?

Yeah.

And the plan
was to sell them?

Yeah, but Rick was
really confusing about money.

It was my idea,

so I take half,
and you'll get half each.

You mean
a third of a half?

No. You will each get half
of what's left.

After your half.

Half each. That's fair.

Okay, I think we should
all get a quarter,

and that would be really
more fair.

I'm giving you half.

Yeah, but it's not even
half of a half.

I'm giving you half, Johnny!

What more do you want
from me?

Maddie has
an overactive thyroid,

makes her hungry
all the time.

But, also,
constipated and bloated.

And her flatulence
is pretty intense.

Makes it hard in the van.

There is
an operation she can have,

but it's super expensive.

So you thought
you'd rob a church?

Only because
Johnny made us.

G'day, travelers.
Long time, no see.

Oh, hi, Johnny.

Looking good, Errol.

How's Maddie?

The thing is,
I never see Johnny that much,

and there he was.

And he was real excited,
said he'd found Jesus.

And I was happy for him.

Yeah, so it's like a play,
but with Jesus in it.

So we would be actors
in a play?

And you will be
paid handsomely.

Like professional actors?

- What's not to like?
- Why us?

I've never done
that sort of thing.

Because of your talent, cousin.

And--

Oh! No, wait,
I just remembered--

Jesus arrives in Athens
on a donkey,

so Maddie could be in,
as well.

I thought Jesus
was born in Bethlehem.

Yeah, and Athens is a suburb
of Bethlehem.

- Everyone knows that.
- She's not well.

- Who?
- Maddie.

She needs an operation.

Then use the money to give
Maddie the care that she needs.

He was just after my donkey.

I can see that now.

And that's how we got involved
and the leaves got, um...

stolen.

And, um, now they're gone,

and Maddie's gone,
and Rick is gone,

and we don't know
anything about that.

Oh!

Hello.

They're all telling us more

while not actually giving us
anything important.

Because...

we're up against...

the triangle of silence.

Which is what exactly?

Well might you ask.

Okay, Johnny,
you don't want to talk

about the spear
or the gold leaves,

so... how about
you enlighten me...

...ah, about
the triangle of silence?

Nice try.

If I told you,

that would defeat
the whole purpose

of its purpose.

Fair enough.

Yeah, sounds pretty lame, anyway.

Lame?

No, it's
the opposite of lame.

It is awesome.

I doubt it somehow.

So awesome,
you couldn't handle it.

- I think I could.
- Nah. You couldn't.

Try me.

Is it like a... cone?

It is way, way stronger
than a cone.

I want to talk about
the strongest shape

known to mankind.

And like all great works
of My Father,

it comes in the form
of the power of three.

Can anyone give me
an example?

The Sun, the Moon,
and the Earth?

Nice, Errol.

The Holy Trinity.

The Father, the Son,
and the Holy Ghost.

Very good, Mary.

The triple jump
at the Olympics.

How about this?

Not only is this

the strongest piece of design
known to man...

...it also represents something
that binds us.

Hear no evil. See no evil.
Speak no evil.

The triangle of silence.

Understand?

United in silence.

Together,
we'll change the world.

Amen.

So the triangle of silence
is a three-legged stool.

See? I knew you
couldn't handle it.

Thanks.

What?

Time to head
back to the cell.

Good news, Errol.
Maddie's been found.

I told Errol

that Maddie
was safe and well,

but given the situation,
would likely be rehomed.

I imagine that will start
to sink in soon.

Hmm.
The old "cruel to be kind."

Well played.

Okay.
Uh, while we wait, um...

I'd like a word
with you both.

Yeah, sure.

In my office?

Okay. There's something I've
been wanting to say for a while.

This... job--

it... wears you down.

You're young and hard-working,
and I admire that.

You both do stellar work.

- Thanks, boss.
- Yeah, thanks.

But make sure
you stop and smell the roses.

This career--
it's a lot.

Uh, in those cells,
we have two men

who are doing their very best
to play mind games with us.

And we have a victim
with a Jesus complex.

Uh, guns, knives, spears.

We all carry that
in some way--

all of it.

And as the years go by,

all of those things get...
a little heavier every day.

Sometimes you just need
to stop and offload,

and, well, that's okay.

I just wanted you both
to know that.

That's...

That.

Just that.

Oh, come on, Mike,
you don't have to sugarcoat it.

- Why don't you just say it?
- What?

What Kristin is saying

is that we know
that you're leaving.

- Going to Central.
- Who told you that?

How we know is not
as important as that we know.

But it's true, isn't it?

No.

But--
Who told you that?

Well, H-Hughes being here--
there's been talk.

He's offered you
a promotion.

I know.
Well, he does that every year.

That doesn't mean
I accepted.

So...

This was my 10-year review,
so he was pushing hard.

I still said no.

I like it here.

Uh.

Oh, I really need
to call Gina.

What is Mrs. Baker
doing here?

Uh, well,
she is the cake angel.

Wow! She knocked it
out of the park!

Ignore the message, obviously.

You really did think
I was leaving.

We did.

And this was just a small way
of showing you

that we do care.

I suppose I have
to give it back.

Oh, hell, no.

Here.

Now let's put this car out
of its misery once and for all.

I want my donkey!

- I want my donkey!
- Chalmers, Cell 1.

Triangle of silence
is broken.

Give me my donkey!

Hey!

If you make him stop,
I'll tell you what happened--

just make him stop.

I want my Maddie!
I want my--

Okay. Calm down, alright?
Come on, Errol.

Just calm down, all right?
Maddie is okay.

- It's gonna be fine.
- Promise?

She's gonna be just fine.

If we come clean
about what happened,

can you make sure Maddie
isn't given to a stranger?

- Don't do it, Errol.
- Errol's free to speak.

He's a little crazy.
Come on.

You have to
let Mary pet her.

Let me pet her.
I need my Maddie.

No, he's not talking sense.

You get to hug her,
and we get the truth.

- No funny business, Errol.
- Promise.

Who's a good girl?
You're such a good girl.

I love you so much.

Okay, Errol.

Mary gets to stay.

I don't want Maddie
to be alone.

All right. But if
we don't get the truth...

You will.

On it.

Hey, Maddie.
Mama's here.

The triangle of silence
is broken, Johnny.

Errol has told us
what happened in the church.

Like I said,
he's not thinking straight.

No, no,
he seemed pretty clear.

Johnny was supposed to swap
the gold leaves...

when the curtain was up.

I will help
deliver the baby.

Breathe, Mary.
Relax and breathe.

Let us all sing.

♪ Away in a manger,
no crib for a bed ♪

♪ The little Lord Jesus
lay down his sweet head ♪

♪ The stars in the bright sky
looked down where he lay ♪

Get out of it!
No! Down!

Hurry up, Johnny!

♪ The little Lord Jesus... Um.

♪ ...asleep on the hay Errol.

Harkness!

So we've established

that Maddie the donkey
ate the gold leaves.

Never work with children
or animals.

Rick-- he was a real child
about it.

You had one job, Johnny.
One job!

No, I had more than one.

I had to deliver the baby,
and I had to hold the torch.

Damn you, Johnny!

At least we know
where they are-- the leaves.

Now all we have to do
is wait...

for them to pass through.

Problem was her constipation.

Sometimes--
I mean, I'm talking days.

What about prunes?

Like we get
a whole bucket of prunes, right?

Yeah, I-I think
rhubarb's good.

- Kiwi fruit?
- Nice.

Someone has eyes
on that donkey at all times.

We need to rehearse.

What did you need
to rehearse?

While we were
waiting for Maddie,

Rick wanted to practice
an Easter show.

If anyone desires
to come after me,

let him deny himself

and take up his cross
and follow me.

So, Rick, in the end...

...he lost his patience.

Enough.
Not happening.

We're running out of time.

More prunes, Rick.

We just need more prunes.

Do we?

Or...

...has Johnny been lying to us?

What?

Eh? No.

You're the only one
who told us what happened.

For all I know,
there's gold leaves

just sitting in a little
hideaway somewhere--

my half, along with
your three halves, eh?

Is that it, Johnny?

No, Rick.

Come on, man.
It's not like that.

Would I have this
otherwise?

Maybe.

Maybe that's just part
of the ruse.

No.

God's honest.

Prove it.

Take the donkey down
to the stream, slit its throat,

cut out the leaves,
and bring them to me.

Whoa, Rick.

No way, man.
I can't do that.

You caused this.
You fix it.

- Johnny, no.
- No way.

You can't make me do this, please.

I'll do it.

No.

You're right.

This is on me.

I'll do it.

That's more like it.

Come on, girl.
Come on.

I was never going to do it.
Rick was crazy.

I was just trying to help.

But that donkey--
stubborn as a mule.

Go on, Maddie!

Go on. Get away!

Go!

That's not
the spirit, Johnny.

I thought you were with me.

Yet, all this time,
you were against me.

No, Rick.
No way, man.

Let's just give it
more time, eh?

Step away from the donkey,
Johnny.

- Come on, man.
- Get out of the way, Johnny.

Not Maddie.
She-- She's just a donkey.

3...

2...

♪ There's a sorrow
deep down inside ♪

♪ I think it's time
to let the river flow ♪

♪ Who I am today,
I don't know ♪

No one
shoots my donkey.

♪ I think it's time...

Just wanted to stop him.

And-- And Rick said
he wouldn't die.

What happened next?

Rick had a plan.

- Put me in the cave.
- What?

Get these robes off me.

Just put me
in the bloody cave!

Are-- Are you sure
about that?

In three days, I will return.

You see?

He asked for it.

- What about the spear?
- Don't worry about it.

It'll just look like
he fell on this knife.

So you put him in the cave.

What else
was I supposed to do?

Take him to the hospital.

Yeah, well,
hindsight is easy.

I didn't mean to kill him.

And he said he'd come out
again all by himself.

Rick-- he had a plan.

And he did, right?

I mean,
I heard he actually did.

So it was an accident, really.

Wasn't it?

Good girl.

Ah.

Quick communion,
then I must dash.

Ultimate accessory
for the modern man, eh?

I don't know.
It's a hell of a commitment.

Man, can she eat carrots.

Yeah, but you know what they say
about donkeys, though, eh?

What?

They're chick magnets.

Really?

Nah.

Oh.

Hey, um,
are you going to the Croc

for the Tami Neilson gig?

Well, I was,
but now I have Maddie.

You can bring her with you.

Have donkey, will travel, brother.

Yeah.

So, uh, next time you get

that snooping look
in your eye...

If I hadn't have snooped,

we would have been
none the wiser.

What you don't know
won't hurt you.

Well, no one got hurt,
and the cake was delicious,

so shush, would you?[Chuckling] Alright.

So, if a jackass mates
with a mare, you get a mule.

But if a donkey impregnates
a horse, you just get an ass.

I'd say probably not
a first-date conversation.

I hear you're not
leaving, after all.

Oh, I never was.

A girl can dream.

Did you like your cake?

Ah, it was impressive.
Thanks, Mrs. Baker.

Well, you know,
weddings are my speciality.

Don't forget.

I'm sure you won't let me.

Ah, Reverend.

So you've succumbed
to the hat.

I've always been a soft touch
for floral headwear.

And the dancing--
very liberating.

Feel free to join us
any time.

Uh, that's
a very kind offer, but... no.

Uh, Gina,
you're feeling better, I see.

How could I not be?

Please,
a special toast to Mike.

Only a man who rolls in honey
attracts the grateful bear.

I'll let that one sink in.

Uh, in the meantime,
to our team.

I'm very fortunate.

- Aww!
- Cheers.

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

Good evening, everybody.
I'm Tami Neilson,

and this is my
Hot Rockin' Band of Rhythm.

We're gonna put
a little country in your soul.

See? Great pub,
great band.

Why would you even want
to go anywhere else?

- I don't.
- Good.

♪ Your eyes are judging,
your elbows nudging ♪

♪ All the poison
that you spread ♪

♪ With each nasty word
you've said ♪

♪ Stay outta my business

♪ Outta my business

♪ Stay outta my business

♪ Outta my business

♪ Stay outta my business

♪ Outta my business

♪ Stay outta my business

♪ Outta my business

♪ Stay outta my business,
leave it alone ♪

♪ The only business you got
is your own ♪

♪ Well, did you do that
all by yourself, girl? ♪

♪ It's not that good,
you might need my help, girl ♪

♪ Without your star hitched
up to my wagon ♪

♪ Girl, you're never
gonna make it ♪

♪ No, your ass
gonna be draggin' ♪

♪ Stay outta my business

♪ Outta my business

♪ Stay outta my business

♪ Outta my business

♪ Stay outta my business

♪ Outta my business

♪ Stay outta my business

♪ Outta my business

♪ Stay outta my business,
leave it alone ♪

♪ The only business you got
is your own ♪

♪ Stay outta my business

♪ Outta my business

♪ Stay outta my business

♪ Outta my business

♪ Stay outta my business

♪ Outta my business

♪ Stay outta my business

♪ Outta my business

♪ Stay outta my business,
leave it alone ♪