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♪ No one knows ♪
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♪ No one cares ♪
3
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♪ I keep dressing up myself
And go nowhere ♪
4
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♪ No one loves me ♪
5
00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:31,156
♪ Like I do ♪
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♪ And to think there was a time
When that was you ♪
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♪ I... ♪
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Oh my God, you're late.
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- I know.
- Have to do the first segment.
10
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I'd love to apologize, Morgan,
but I can't.
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What?
12
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I just had the single greatest kiss
of my entire existence.
13
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Okay, great. Save it for the show because
I have nothing to talk about this week.
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I've had a UTI for the last three days,
and I didn't even get it the fun way.
15
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- Here's your cranberry juice.
- Thank you.
16
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I used to get them all the time
with your father.
17
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- Mom.
- Gross.
18
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- Morgan, you're gonna die.
- Okay.
19
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Noah and I were playing
this fun cat-and-mouse game,
20
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pretending let's just be friends.
21
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And, obviously, we both know
that is never gonna happen.
22
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Okay, go on.
23
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I did this cute thing at the restaurant
24
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where I was like,
"I don't think I can stay."
25
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Let me guess. You stayed.
26
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- Oh, I stayed.
- Yeah.
27
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And then we walked down the street
and ate ice cream.
28
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You know when you see annoying couples
eating ice cream, and you wanna kill them?
29
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We were that couple!
30
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Okay, keep going.
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Then he said, "Put down your ice cream."
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- I don't hate that.
- Me neither 'cause he was taking charge.
33
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Okay. And did you do what you were told?
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I mean, obviously.
35
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- Yes, chef.
- Mm-hmm.
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And then you know what happens next.
37
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You went back and fucked in the bathroom.
38
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No, we just kissed.
I said that on the way in.
39
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Maybe that's why you have
all those UTIs. My God.
40
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:00,995
I mean, it's possible.
41
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:07,085
- Remind me who the guest is tonight.
- Okay, it is Dr. Jay Shah.
42
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:09,129
- My idea.
- That makes me nervous.
43
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He wrote a book about how your aura
indicates what kind of person you are.
44
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Oh, that sounds... stupid.
45
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Oh, he's not stupid. He has a degree
from the University of Turks and Caicos.
46
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- Okay.
- You need to be fact-checking that.
47
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I did. Kind of.
48
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Where's his biography?
49
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There's nothing here.
50
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There's just quotes and birds.
51
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- Hey!
- Oh! Hey, dude, where you been?
52
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,498
What the hell happened?
53
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,959
I got, like, ten calls
from Rebecca's phone.
54
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It was her mom saying
she's almost in a coma.
55
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I don't know what almost in a coma means.
But yeah, she's okay.
56
00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:54,757
Yeah?
57
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,927
She ran into the back of a parked bus
and she, like, broke her wrist.
58
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She's gotta have a surgery
to put a pin in there.
59
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,222
- Her wrist?
- Yeah.
60
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,807
- That's it?
- Yeah, that's it.
61
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,434
- So she's fine.
- She's okay.
62
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- Thank God.
- Dude, she's better than okay.
63
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,175
She's gonna get painkillers, and gonna be
able to take a couple of day off of work.
64
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God, wait.
Should I drive into the back of a bus?
65
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- Honestly, I like that for you.
- Yeah.
66
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,947
Oh, wait. There... Uh, one more
little bit of fun news for you.
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Mom and Dad are with Rebecca's parents,
and they're sniping at one another.
68
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:24,287
The only thing they agree on
is that they're all mad at you.
69
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What are they mad at me for?
70
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,374
Well, you're the one
that, like, caused the accident.
71
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,500
- Obviously.
- What?
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She's, like, so heartbroken
that she ran into a bus. It's easy math.
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Wait a second.
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Do they think she...
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like, tried to, like...
76
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What, kill herself?
77
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Because of...
78
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...because of... because of you?
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No, look. You're cute, but you're not
80
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"leave this Earth
because you dumped someone" cute.
81
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,356
I didn't dump her, okay?
82
00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:53,983
People break up. It happens all the time.
83
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I don't care. I'm just trying to tell you
what the people inside are saying.
84
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,947
I'm playing both sides,
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trying to defend you
while also defending myself.
86
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,034
- Great. Thank you so much.
- Yeah.
87
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:05,536
Where were you?
Were you out with that tiny blonde girl?
88
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,831
- Uh, I'm not gonna answer that right now.
- Okay, so that's a yes.
89
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,834
We had a really nice time.
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00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:15,380
You had a really nice time.
God, you tell the worst stories.
91
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:16,965
Your aura is...
92
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It's not a forest green.
It's more emerald.
93
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,930
It means that you are very generous.
94
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Oh... my God!
95
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This stuff actually works
because that is me. That is me.
96
00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:33,773
You literally Venmo requested me
for a smoothie this morning.
97
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- So?
- Do Joanne now.
98
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:36,900
Oh, sure. Yeah.
99
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,903
Oh no, no. I'm good.
I'm okay. Thank you though.
100
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:43,199
Please. It's like having Jason Mraz here,
and you don't ask him to sing "I'm Yours?"
101
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,326
Mom, you're obsessed with Jason Mraz.
102
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,245
I see your point, Mom. Okay, go for it.
103
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,289
- All right? Right. Okay.
- Bring it. Yes.
104
00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:53,293
Okay, for our listeners,
105
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the doctor is moving his hands
around my sister's face.
106
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:01,550
Oh.
107
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:05,805
Yep. What? Why are you touching me?
'Cause you didn't touch anybody else.
108
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:10,435
I'm having a little bit of a hard time
finding your aura.
109
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Wow.
110
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,106
I'm not finding it.
It's rare, but it happens.
111
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:16,941
That's bad.
112
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Do you think it's possible
that you can't find it
113
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,237
because this is not real?
114
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,365
Oh! So cynical.
Starting to make sense now.
115
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:27,827
- See? This is why she never got married.
- Better than being divorced.
116
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:30,246
Don't lash out, honey.
It doesn't help your case.
117
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,766
- I'm not trying to prove anything.
- You're screaming.
118
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:34,125
I'm literally not screaming.
119
00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:36,210
- Wow. She gets like this.
- Oh?
120
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,713
Do you wanna hear something weird?
She's dating a rabbi.
121
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Oh! Really?
122
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Huh.
123
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:44,676
"Huh"?
124
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What does "huh" mean?
125
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:52,143
Well, it's just that people who are
close to God have such powerful auras,
126
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:55,605
whereas yours is... eh.
127
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,275
I have to say it. I don't think
you're allowed to wear that kimono.
128
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,569
My partner is Japanese,
129
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,364
so... arigato.
130
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:10,745
- You want it too.
- Yulia, don't worry. Ah.
131
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,496
Hey, everyone.
132
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,504
It's a shame she had to have an accident
to get you to pay attention to her.
133
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:22,465
Well, I'm here.
134
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,592
Where have you been, son?
135
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,053
How is she?
136
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:31,182
- Sh... sh... she's in God's hands.
- Right.
137
00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:32,600
And how is the wrist?
138
00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,268
There's no way to know.
139
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,229
Okay. Can I go see her?
140
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Why? To break her heart too?
141
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:42,026
No, well... I'm here
to make sure Rebecca's okay.
142
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,320
You don't need to see her.
She's gone through enough.
143
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,115
I spoke to the nurses.
She's gonna be fine.
144
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,491
Suddenly, he's a doctor.
145
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:52,245
Actually, had my older brother Sidney
not died from typhoid,
146
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:53,871
I would've gone to medical school.
147
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,998
I filled out all the forms and everything.
148
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:59,127
- You hear that? He filled out the forms.
- He did. I was there.
149
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,421
And they were very difficult
and very complicated.
150
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:02,588
Thank you.
151
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,758
Anatoly, I will
let those insulting comments go
152
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,886
due to our long-term friendship
and the stress of the situation.
153
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:12,640
The cafeteria was closed, but here's
what I was able to grab from vending.
154
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,436
Noah, how nice of you to finally join us.
155
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,939
I'm so happy to be here, Esther.
Thank you for the warm welcome.
156
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:22,525
Okay, and your phone was broken
for the last two hours, or...
157
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,777
I had turned it off so I could focus.
158
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,571
Oh, focus. Okay.
159
00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:29,657
I'm sure whatever you were doing,
you were on top of it.
160
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,200
That's brutal.
161
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,706
Noah, tell me you've come to your senses.
162
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:40,251
Of course you have. You know
I told you that this is just a phase.
163
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:44,297
All we want to hear is
that your heart is open to a reunion. Huh?
164
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Tonight, let's focus our energy
on Rebecca getting better.
165
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,553
- Give thanks for that.
- Amen.
166
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,346
Bullshit. He's changing the subject.
167
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,433
You're old enough to be grandparents.
What the hell are you waiting for?
168
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,602
Oh, he's not waiting.
He got himself a shiksa.
169
00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:59,020
Damn it, Esther.
170
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:01,481
- You're cheating on my daughter?
- No, nobody's cheating.
171
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,524
- Did you know?
- A shiksa? Absolutely not.
172
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:04,984
- I'm shocked.
- I gotta go.
173
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:08,529
No, you're not. You knew. You had
to know. You just didn't want me to know.
174
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,990
Honey. Honey.
175
00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:13,302
- I'd never speak to you again.
- Honey, don't...
176
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,578
I would have been great
in medical school too.
177
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,121
What?
178
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:20,291
I would've done great in medical school.
I didn't fill out the forms, but...
179
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:26,464
I'm just having trouble computing
how you go from a kiss that passionate
180
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:30,760
and then you just don't respond
for over three hours.
181
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,678
Maybe his side of the kiss
182
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:37,225
was not the same mouth experience
as your side of the kiss.
183
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,268
- Trust me. That's not the case.
- Okay.
184
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,829
It does feel weird...
185
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,331
- Wait.
- I agree. It's weird.
186
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,397
Is that him?
187
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:46,067
No, it's my pharmacy
telling me to pick up my Xanax.
188
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,861
- Well, you better go get it.
- You think I sound crazy?
189
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,571
- No!
- Oh, crazy? No. No.
190
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,366
- I'm just joking.
- We're all a little crazy. Come here.
191
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,160
My little angel.
192
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,329
That's nice.
193
00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:02,250
- What was the last thing you texted him?
- Oh, I sent... Well, just read it.
194
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,417
Okay.
195
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:04,710
I think I nailed it.
196
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,754
Mm-hmm. I'm sure you did.
197
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,008
I'm sorry. "I think I might be pregnant"?
198
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:14,011
Don't just read that part.
You have to read the first text.
199
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,472
Okay. "That was a great kiss."
200
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:21,394
Yeah, it's a joke. "That was a great kiss.
I think I might be pregnant." It's funny.
201
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:23,646
- Ooh.
- I don't get it.
202
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:27,024
Listen. Okay, guys
do not like pregnancy jokes.
203
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,945
He's confused. He's a rabbi.
He has a different brain than you.
204
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:34,198
Come on, you have to admit
you guys are a weird pair, no?
205
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,033
- Why?
- Why what?
206
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,828
Why are we a weird pair?
Just because he's a rabbi?
207
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:41,289
No, I'm just saying,
you know, like, when I met him,
208
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:44,584
he seemed very... responsible
209
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:45,793
and, like, kind.
210
00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:46,961
And you...
211
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,838
Have edge, dear.
212
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:49,964
I'm not a bad person.
213
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:51,424
We're not saying that you are.
214
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:54,552
We're just saying
that you're, like, sort of a bad person
215
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,846
relative to a man of God.
216
00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,264
Yeah.
217
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:01,601
I could see you with a cult leader.
218
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:03,227
That I could see.
219
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,442
- Noah.
- Huh?
220
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,612
- Noah!
- What? What?
221
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,780
What do you... What? What do you wanna say?
222
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,324
So... so many things.
223
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,660
Uh, the woman in there, the goddess
who's always been too good for you,
224
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,579
she is currently fighting for her life.
225
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,142
My dad just said she's gonna be fine.
226
00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:26,834
- Your dad doesn't know shit.
- Actually, he was almost a doctor.
227
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:29,420
Yeah, and I almost fucked
Adam Levine in 2003,
228
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:32,340
but you don't see me flying high
on the Maroon 5 jet, do ya?
229
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:34,674
Was it worth it?
230
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,635
Was what worth it?
231
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:39,180
Your little blonde friend who can't stop
talking about ass play on her podcast.
232
00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:41,474
You were just talking about
fucking Adam Levine.
233
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:43,059
- Almost...
- You fucked Adam Levine?
234
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:46,646
Almost fucked Adam Levine.
And honestly, at least he's Jewish.
235
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,482
I know my man's Jewish.
When did you almost fuck Adam Levine?
236
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,108
In Cabo, baby. You know this.
237
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,526
We are not done here, Noah.
238
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:53,944
What are we even doing?
239
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,571
Yeah, what are we doing? I'm lost.
240
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,031
I'll tell you what he's doing.
241
00:10:57,114 --> 00:11:00,159
He's throwing away a relationship
with literally the perfect woman.
242
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,577
Okay, okay.
243
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:05,915
Listen. She's not dying.
You can still be friends with her.
244
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,958
Yeah, you can still be friends with her.
245
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,753
But you're not just breaking up with her.
246
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:13,464
You're breaking up the whole family.
247
00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:17,551
Strong Jewish guilt you're giving.
248
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,762
Yeah. I feel like you could use a little.
249
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,724
She still loves you.
250
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:32,274
Breaking up the family?
What the fuck? I'm sorry, man.
251
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,193
Honey, Adam Levine?
252
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,695
Was that so hard to believe?
253
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,030
I don't know.
You just seem, like, aggressive.
254
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,825
He seems like...
More like a gentle type, I guess.
255
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,712
I mean, it's pretty late.
Maybe he just hasn't seen it yet.
256
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:56,507
I sent it 15 minutes
after we left each other.
257
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,051
You think he's just, like, at home
258
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,554
and, you know, brushing his teeth,
getting ready for bed,
259
00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:05,307
setting his alarm from his phone,
and then didn't check his texts?
260
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,934
No. No, he's seen it for sure.
261
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,812
God! Why do I always have to make a joke?
262
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:13,315
Most girls would be like, "That was
a lovely night. I had a great time."
263
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,692
But most girls are boring.
264
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,153
Guys seem to like that.
265
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:20,197
But, like, who cares
what they like, right?
266
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,241
Yes! Yes!
267
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:23,784
Who cares?
268
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:24,994
I certainly don't.
269
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:26,203
I'm not spiraling.
270
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:30,374
It... I mean, I stand by the fact
that it was a joke
271
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:33,294
because it was, and it was funny,
and I kissed him very well.
272
00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:34,211
I'm sure.
273
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:37,173
So I'm not worried about that at all
274
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:40,259
because I know I'm a great kisser,
and I'm good. I'm totally good.
275
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:42,011
- Great.
- I am great, actually.
276
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,472
- Yes. Okay. Great.
- Great. Okay.
277
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:45,848
Hoo!
278
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:48,225
My God. She's in a complete spiral.
279
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:51,395
♪ The whole world is weighing you down... ♪
280
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:54,732
Cult leader.
281
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,693
Those guys are superhot, so...
282
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:00,738
Yes, I knew it.
283
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,241
Oh, fucking Kyle.
284
00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:06,285
No, thanks.
285
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,206
Actually... Wait.
286
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:19,048
Oh! That was fast.
287
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,967
- Hey, I have a question for you.
- Yes, you can come over.
288
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:25,846
I'm not interested in your booty calls
anymore. I have a serious question.
289
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,057
Do you think I'm a good person?
290
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,434
- Like, first thing that comes to mind.
- No.
291
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,813
Well, think about it for a second.
I mean, really give it some time.
292
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,648
Let it marinate.
293
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:39,109
When I think of Joanne,
I think of someone who is
294
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,486
goo...
295
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:44,240
Oh, okay. I see what you're doing.
296
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,158
You're calling the worst person you know
297
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,369
because only someone
as shitty as me would think
298
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:51,413
that somebody as shitty as you
isn't really that bad, huh?
299
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,749
No, I'm not... Oh shit!
300
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:55,291
Nailed it.
301
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,505
God, I love this.
Getting honest with each other, you know?
302
00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:02,424
Wait. What? No. Ho-hold on, hold on.
303
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,176
Can I tell you something personal?
304
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,929
I'm so rock hard right now, it hurts.
305
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,764
Hi, little buddy.
306
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,351
Where's your mom and dad?
307
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,228
Okay. Yeah, I could be into this.
308
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:15,855
Um...
309
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,274
Mommy and Daddy are
in Phoenix right now
310
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,276
where they have a time-share.
311
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:22,069
Ew! Kyle, can you not?
312
00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:24,238
What? You started this, Joanne. Fuck. I...
313
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:27,700
You know what, Kyle? I just remembered.
I actually don't care what you think.
314
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,786
Buddy! Doggy!
315
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,038
Come here, dog!
316
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,417
Where... Oh, hi.
317
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,460
What do you want? What do I have?
318
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:41,839
I have half a cracker,
319
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,675
um, a mint, and a hair tie.
320
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:49,972
Want any of these? Come here.
321
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:52,473
Hey.
322
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:54,350
Hi.
323
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:55,728
Hi.
324
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,063
Come here.
325
00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,900
You know what?
This is my favorite sweatshirt,
326
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,611
and they discontinued it,
but I'm gonna ruin it for ya.
327
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:06,780
Whoo. Okay. Hi.
328
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,326
Oh.
329
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:13,579
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
330
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,163
Oh, dog.
331
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:18,918
Can I ask you a question?
332
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,629
Having known me for the last 30 seconds,
333
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,341
do you think I'm good enough
to be with someone who's, like,
334
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:27,927
really good?
335
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,595
Like, extremely good?
336
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,767
Okay. I'm gonna take that as a yes.
337
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,562
Well, that's kind of fun. Okay, um...
338
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,481
Should I get bangs?
339
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,652
Okay. No bangs.
340
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:46,694
All right.
341
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:53,744
Oh my God. With all the tourists
and the screaming and the kvetching,
342
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,331
it's hard to think straight in there.
343
00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:58,414
Yeah.
344
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,669
Most of that noise
is just people yelling at me.
345
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:03,003
Oh, come on.
346
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:05,422
I've been sitting here
347
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,094
thinking, I wonder if I am the reason
that Rebecca got into an accident.
348
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:11,053
Oh, stop that.
349
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:14,640
How selfish is it
to want someone new and exciting,
350
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:18,352
no matter how long it would last,
no matter who it hurts?
351
00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:21,689
Just been wondering
if I'm a terrible person.
352
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:22,940
You, a terrible person?
353
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,026
Come on. Not a chance.
354
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:28,695
Be honest.
355
00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:32,366
Do you think I'm making a mistake
ending things with Rebecca?
356
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,952
- You're asking me?
- I'm asking.
357
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:41,375
Noah, I think Rebecca is a wonderful girl.
358
00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:42,334
She's terrific.
359
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:45,754
I think with a girl like this on your arm,
you'll have a beautiful life.
360
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:49,883
On the other hand, Noah,
361
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,803
you're gonna be the one
who'll have to live with the regret
362
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,388
or the joy of this decision.
363
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:57,599
Only you. Not Esther.
Not your mother. Certainly not me.
364
00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:01,145
I have my wife for many years.
I'm very happy.
365
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,855
If you tell her that I said any of this,
366
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:04,658
I'll deny it
because she'll come to kill me.
367
00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:08,569
Are we doing big hugs?
368
00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:11,989
Yeah, let me get in on that.
Oh, yeah.
369
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:29,631
Noah?
370
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,427
Hey. Did you get a dog?
371
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:34,720
What are you doing here?
372
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,639
Well, uh...
373
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,727
I had a rough night.
Tell you about it later.
374
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:47,024
But I just found myself driving over here
on the off chance I'd get to see you.
375
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:50,027
Then I thought maybe it's a bit much
to ring your doorbell at 2:00 a.m.
376
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:54,656
So... I was trying to decide if I should
just leave and never admit I came here.
377
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,533
Did you get my texts?
378
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,745
'Cause when you didn't text back,
I kind of got in my head about it.
379
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:00,871
You're pregnant.
380
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,165
Congratulations. That's amazing.
381
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,459
I knew I was a good kisser, but this...
382
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,461
I mean, this has never happened to me.
383
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:11,590
See? I knew it was funny,
and I knew you'd get it.
384
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:15,636
Why didn't you text back?
385
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:19,223
I didn't get the text till 20 minutes ago.
I left the phone in my car.
386
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:20,932
Sorry about that.
387
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:24,061
So, uh,
388
00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:27,564
who's this handsome gentleman
or gentlelady
389
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,275
that, uh, you're coming home with so late?
390
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:31,860
Just some cutie I picked up.
391
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,487
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
392
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:34,780
Should I be jealous?
393
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,280
I mean,
394
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:40,828
this thick boy did stare deeply
into my eyes the entire way home,
395
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:43,413
and I felt very seen, so maybe.
396
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:44,873
Okay. I am, then.
397
00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:48,168
- Where'd you find him?
- On the street.
398
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:49,086
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
399
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:52,506
My friend runs a rescue place, so I'm
gonna bring him there in the morning.
400
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,301
Well, you saved a dog tonight.
You did a mitzvah.
401
00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:58,636
It's a good deed.
402
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,431
Oh. Yeah, I did a mitzvah.
403
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:02,515
Yeah.
404
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,394
- May I? You have a...
- What?
405
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,520
...twig in your hair.
406
00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,456
- Oh God.
- You have a lot in your hair.
407
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:12,234
- What?
- Well, leaves and... just foliage.
408
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:16,822
I'm glad to see you.
409
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,073
Glad to see you too.
410
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:27,124
♪ Must be love on the brain ♪
411
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:33,130
- ♪ That's got me feeling this way ♪
- ♪ Feeling this way ♪
412
00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:37,259
♪ It beats me black and blue
But it... me so good ♪
413
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,970
♪ And I can't get enough ♪
414
00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:44,975
♪ Must be love on the brain ♪
415
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:49,479
- ♪ And it keeps cursing my name ♪
- ♪ Cursing my name ♪
416
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:53,483
♪ No matter what I do
I'm no good without you ♪
417
00:19:53,567 --> 00:20:00,073
♪ And I can't get enough
Must be love on the brain ♪
418
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:05,996
- ♪ That's got me feeling this way ♪
- ♪ Feeling this way ♪
419
00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:10,000
♪ It beats me black and blue
But it... me so good ♪
420
00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:13,086
♪ And I can't get enough ♪
421
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:18,050
♪ Must be love on the brain ♪
422
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:22,554
- ♪ And it keeps cursing my name ♪
- ♪ Cursing my name ♪
423
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:26,683
♪ No matter what I do
I'm no good without you ♪
424
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:30,520
♪ And I can't get enough
Must be... ♪
33106
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