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1
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Rabbi.
2
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Joanne. Are you a member of this temple?
3
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You guys do memberships? Is there a gym?
4
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,405
- We don't work out.
- Oh.
5
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:40,081
Uh, I have to finish up a few things here,
but... feel like waiting for me?
6
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,251
- Yeah.
- Meet you at the side entrance?
7
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,962
- Of course. Do your thing.
- Okay.
8
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,214
- And I'm gonna do it.
- 'Kay.
9
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,469
- That's not us.
- It's not?
10
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:53,552
- No.
- Oh.
11
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,265
- Hi.
- Hi.
12
00:00:57,348 --> 00:01:00,310
Who was that shiksa?
And why were you standing so close to her?
13
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,645
I don't think I was standing that close.
An old friend.
14
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,232
- Just haven't seen her in a while.
- What friend? I don't know her.
15
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,151
Mom, you don't know all my friends.
16
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:10,236
Yes, I do.
17
00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,947
- Okay.
- Does she have a degree?
18
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,825
- Ilan.
- I think... I think... I think so, yes. Yes.
19
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:23,833
- Rabbi! How are you?
- Hi! I'm good. How you doing?
20
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,002
- It's a beautiful service.
- Thank you.
21
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,714
I just wanted to tell you
my son just finished his student film.
22
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:30,632
Oh! Awesome.
23
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:33,426
It's a documentary
about the history of documentaries.
24
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- Wonderful.
- I cannot wait for you to see the trailer.
25
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,656
- You'll send it to me.
- No, no. No need to send.
26
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,557
- We can watch it now. It's wonderful.
- Oh.
27
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:47,065
Excuse me, ma'am!
28
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:49,984
There's no loitering here.
You have to clear the area.
29
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Oh, sure.
30
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,281
- Oh, you're serious?
- Very.
31
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- It's very Scorsese.
- ...be able to... Yes.
32
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:58,739
- Love him.
- Right?
33
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,037
- Not Jewish, but...
- No Spielberg, but we love him.
34
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,623
- That's right! You're funny. Here we go.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35
00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:06,066
I'm waiting for someone.
I'm not gonna stand down the street
36
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,502
where I could get murdered.
37
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:08,878
That's a bit dramatic.
38
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,505
Murder is dramatic, isn't it?
39
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:13,550
We need a second person
overseeing the raffle entries.
40
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:17,637
Sure. Okay, listen. Abe, I am going
to prioritize the integrity of the raffle.
41
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,764
- Full integrity. I have to run.
- Promises?
42
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:20,723
Full integrity.
43
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,560
Oh my God, it's my sister.
We haven't spoken in years.
44
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:24,936
What... If you don't mind!
45
00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:28,606
Hi! Oh my God! Are you okay?
Where do you live now?
46
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:31,484
Okay, this is a crazy energy.
Should I call you back?
47
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,111
No, we're good. What's up?
48
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:37,073
Okay, so Ashley called and says
we need to prep for the Spotify meeting.
49
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,577
Apparently, they might wanna
rebrand the podcast, maybe even retitle.
50
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,704
Something that screams sex.
51
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,331
Okay. I mean,
we can talk about it, I guess.
52
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:46,915
Okay.
53
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:51,004
- What are you doing right now?
- Okay, try and follow along.
54
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:53,339
- Um, I was on a bad date...
- Mm-hmm. Checks out.
55
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:56,718
Ashley texted me and said
that the rabbi was asking about me.
56
00:02:56,801 --> 00:03:00,346
So I walked out on the bad date,
and I came to his temple.
57
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,307
I'm sorry.
So, you're at a temple right now?
58
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:06,186
Yeah, this big-ass temple
right off Wilshire. It's really beautiful.
59
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,687
And you just showed up, like,
60
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,898
ten minutes after he asked about you?
61
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:13,735
Well, I'm not sure of the exact timing,
but for this conversation's purposes, yes.
62
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:16,446
- Oh my God. I'm cringing for you.
- Well, don't.
63
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,573
- He was very happy to see me.
- Mmm, okay.
64
00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:21,284
- And what are you doing now?
- He asked me to wait outside.
65
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,928
- Oh my God.
- Not in a bad way.
66
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:25,622
Is there a good way?
How long have you been standing outside?
67
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,332
Like 15 minutes.
68
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,249
Oh my God.
69
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,668
There is this security guard
asking me to leave...
70
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,630
Oh my God. This sounds so bad
when I'm saying it out loud.
71
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:37,091
Okay, he doesn't want you there,
so just get in the car and leave.
72
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,384
I can't. I Ubered.
73
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,887
I'm close to Koreatown.
I'll grab you in a few minutes.
74
00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:43,932
Okay, I'll send you my location.
75
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:47,894
I don't know a mohel in Seattle.
I'll make some calls. See what I can do.
76
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:50,813
- I have to go right now.
- Good luck with your grandson's penis.
77
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:54,651
Okay. Hey, do you wanna go take a gummy,
hang out in my basement, play Wii Tennis?
78
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,736
No. I have to meet someone outside.
79
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,948
Who? Wait. Are you going to see
the goy you were cupcaking with?
80
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,617
Cup... Maybe, probably.
Listen, will you cover for me?
81
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,953
- What? No, I'm gonna go with you.
- Please!
82
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,080
When we were kids, I took you everywhere.
83
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,332
- I took you everywhere.
- Then let's do that again!
84
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,501
Fine. I don't care. Come.
Just don't tell Esther.
85
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,670
Come on, man. I'm not gonna tell Esther.
86
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:14,796
What?
87
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:17,319
Oh, hey, honey, there you are.
I was looking all over for you.
88
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:20,551
- Right here. Yeah.
- I'm gonna go shut this shiksa shit down.
89
00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:23,846
Okay? It's just disrespectful.
Okay? I love you.
90
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:24,806
I love you.
91
00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:28,226
- Oh, thank God.
- Don't know what I was thinking.
92
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:30,645
Joanne!
93
00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:32,355
- Let's go. Oh my God.
- Hey!
94
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:35,275
- Pretend you don't see him.
- We made eye contact.
95
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:36,985
- Well, close your eyes.
- Close my eyes?
96
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:40,697
- I don't know. Get in.
- Sorry I couldn't get out of there faster.
97
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,115
All good.
98
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:45,201
- Fifteen minutes is rude. You know?
- This is my sister, Morgan.
99
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,369
- Hi, Morgan.
- Hi.
100
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:49,455
Are you sure it was 15 minutes?
Felt more like ten to me.
101
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,165
I'm sorry. Are you gaslighting us?
102
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,584
{\an8}Nope. I think it was 15 minutes.
103
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:57,380
I'm really sorry about that. It wasn't
cool. Will you accept my apology?
104
00:04:58,047 --> 00:05:00,207
I told you I like attention.
I was getting a lot there.
105
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,217
Yeah, I saw.
106
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:03,885
Who's this?
107
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,347
- Ah.
- Oh, hi. I've been dying to speak.
108
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,683
I'm Sasha. Noah's hotter older brother.
109
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:10,018
So, uh, what are we doing?
110
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:13,604
Well, we are going for a drink
to discuss work, so...
111
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,023
Really? I'm kind of tired.
112
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,983
That sounds great. I can do one drink.
113
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:19,777
What are you doing? What's happening?
Why is he getting in the car?
114
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:22,030
I'm getting in the car
to go for one drink.
115
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,740
We just talked about this.
116
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,467
- Okay, Joanne?
- What's her problem?
117
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,251
- Do you want us to come?
- All right.
118
00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:28,911
It's totally up to you.
119
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,498
Come on.
I'm very sorry I kept you waiting.
120
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,500
I was desperately trying to get out here.
121
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,337
Tell me you want me to come.
122
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:41,007
I just want you to know
that he blew off our mother to see you.
123
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:43,676
And she is a nightmare.
Did you put on the child lock?
124
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,178
- It's true.
- Yes, I did.
125
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,389
Fine, I want you to come.
126
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:52,018
- Say it a little louder.
- I want you to come!
127
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:54,854
Okay, okay.
You don't have to yell. I'll come.
128
00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:57,817
- Are these all sweaters?
- Please don't touch my stuff.
129
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,099
It's kind of hard not to.
There's so much of it.
130
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,402
Okay, so we're going?
131
00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,529
I'll just hang on to these.
132
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:14,873
Well...
133
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,753
- Oh, I need to charge my phone.
- I need to charge my phone too.
134
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:21,273
- What percentage are you on?
- You're not borrowing my charger.
135
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,632
Can I jump in front? I'm at 22.
136
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,050
That's plenty.
137
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,469
- Connected.
- I use it a lot.
138
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:29,597
Oh, my best friend's mom
got into a bike accident right over there.
139
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,262
That's a good story.
140
00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:33,684
Yeah.
141
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:37,998
Message from Morgan.
142
00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:40,483
He's cuter than I expected.
He doesn't look that Jewish.
143
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,068
- Oh my God.
- Morgan.
144
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:43,945
- Next message.
- Stop.
145
00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:46,322
The brother is brutal.
Ogre emoji.
146
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,050
- Okay, that's not...
- Vomit emoji.
147
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,325
Unplug the phone!
148
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:59,961
I'm so sorry about my sister,
with whom I have since cut ties.
149
00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:04,674
Listen, that feature has gotten me
into some very bad situations.
150
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,759
But that was...
that was top three, for sure.
151
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,344
If I may inquire,
152
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,222
what does Jewish look like to you?
153
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:12,825
- I had the same question.
- No.
154
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,893
Are you picturing a bigger nose
or, like, curlier hair?
155
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,229
Does my brother not look like
he could control the media?
156
00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:20,648
There are very, very attractive Jews
in the world...
157
00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:21,899
- No...
- That's not...
158
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,670
- Paul Rudd. You might not know.
- Seen young Mandy Patinkin?
159
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,779
I'm getting a half sandwich
thinking about him.
160
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,281
Old Mandy Patinkin, I would take.
161
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:31,200
Or maybe we just all look the same,
and it's hard to differentiate.
162
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,369
- Absolutely not.
- That's more the point.
163
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,247
- I know you didn't mean anything by it.
- Thank you.
164
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,876
- Okay, so you're not offended?
- No.
165
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:42,044
It was directed at me,
166
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,714
so you should probably be asking me
if I'm offended, but...
167
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:47,425
He's not offended. He's just happy
people are talking about him.
168
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:49,551
It's kind of true.
169
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:54,182
Three Casitas.
170
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,683
- Appreciate it.
- Thank you.
171
00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:57,686
- And one seltzer with lime.
- Thank you.
172
00:07:58,352 --> 00:08:01,564
I got this. I'm independently wealthy
'cause my family's rich.
173
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:04,984
That's not what independently wealthy
means, but good for you.
174
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:07,862
Don't listen to his nonsense.
Let's just toast. L'chaim.
175
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:09,197
- Oh.
- Yeah.
176
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,406
- L'chaim.
- L'chaim.
177
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,074
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
178
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,160
- Disgusting.
- This is pretty exciting.
179
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:17,371
It's not every day a shiksa walks into
the temple looking for the good rabbi.
180
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:19,499
- A "shiska"? What is that?
- A shiksa.
181
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,168
It's basically...
Um, well, it's basically you guys.
182
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,419
Okay.
183
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,505
Is it offensive or flattering?
I can't tell.
184
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:29,592
Technically, it's a Yiddish insult
that means you're impure and detestable.
185
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:32,470
But these days, it just means
you're a hot, blonde non-Jew.
186
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:34,347
That's actually
a perfect description of me.
187
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,849
Okay, so really unlikable, but also hot.
188
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,227
Maybe that should be
our new podcast title. Shiksas.
189
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:42,146
I don't... No.
No one's gonna know what it means.
190
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,606
What's the podcast called now?
191
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,942
- It's called Nobody Wants This.
- I like it.
192
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,694
- Ooh, what about Slutty Shiksas?
- Ooh, see, now I'm listening.
193
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,531
Morgan, I don't wanna be
some knockoff of Call Her Daddy.
194
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:54,867
Oh, yeah, I get why you wouldn't want
a $60 million podcast deal.
195
00:08:58,246 --> 00:08:59,539
Sorry.
196
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,415
- Noah, do you wanna get some air?
- Yeah.
197
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,209
No, no! Don't leave me stranded with him.
198
00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:09,423
A lot of tension between you guys.
199
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,342
No, this isn't happening.
200
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:13,219
Oh, we're going outside? Okay.
201
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,473
I'm sorry. I don't know why
that pissed me off so much. It's so dumb.
202
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,600
You're just like this serious rabbi,
203
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:24,021
and I'm complaining about a podcast
where, honestly, we talk about sex a lot.
204
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,147
Yeah, I know. I listened.
205
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,357
- Oh God.
- Yeah.
206
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,817
To which episode?
207
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,777
I listened to "Dil-do's and Dil-dont's."
208
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,362
- Oh! Okay.
- Learned a lot.
209
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:34,532
That would not have been
my first choice for you.
210
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:35,615
- Really?
- Um...
211
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:39,662
Just so you know, sex isn't,
like, the point of the podcast.
212
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,665
- Does that make sense?
- Yeah, I get that. Yeah.
213
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:45,501
I feel you just want your audience to feel
as comfortable opening up as you do.
214
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,379
Exactly. I want 'em to feel empowered.
215
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,299
Plus, now I know what to dil-do
216
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:53,175
and dil-don't.
217
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:57,345
You a Swifty?
218
00:09:57,388 --> 00:10:01,142
No, just pretending to look at songs
so we don't have to talk.
219
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:04,445
And didn't you go to high school?
Our friends are hooking up. Be cool.
220
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:09,025
I know I have a thing about me that
makes people wanna elbow me in the jaw.
221
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,151
- Yeah.
- My wife says...
222
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:11,569
I'm sorry. You're married?
223
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:12,653
Yeah.
224
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,948
Oh my God, you have
no husband energy at all. That's scary.
225
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,408
I'm wearing a wedding ring.
226
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:18,909
I haven't been looking at you.
227
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:21,884
Do you think there's any flip side
228
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:24,332
to everyone knowing
every intimate detail of your life?
229
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:27,376
Like, you know, once you say something,
you can never get it back.
230
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,295
Jesus. How dark are your secrets?
231
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:32,173
Well, my parents are very big on privacy.
232
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:35,134
They're immigrant Jews from Russia.
Back then, it was the Soviet Union.
233
00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:37,261
If you just said your name out loud,
234
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,513
it could be dangerous
if it sounded too Jewish.
235
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:41,641
Well, I get that.
From where they're coming from.
236
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:47,188
But in today's society, where it's,
you know, not dangerous to be open,
237
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,106
I think it's a lot more healthy.
238
00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,735
Yeah. I mean, to a point, right?
239
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,945
But what's that point?
240
00:10:55,529 --> 00:11:00,117
Do we really need to tiptoe around all of
these issues that make us uncomfortable,
241
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,619
or is that part of the problem?
242
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,621
Like money and relationships and sex.
243
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:07,041
I think if more people said out loud
what they like, what they don't like,
244
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:10,961
they'd realize it's totally normal,
and they'd carry around a lot less shame.
245
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,006
I guess.
246
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,300
- Well, let's test my theory.
- Okay.
247
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:19,780
- Will you tell me one of your secrets?
- One of my secrets?
248
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,764
- Yeah.
- Might need another drink first.
249
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,642
Okay. Uh, baby steps.
250
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:27,311
No, wait, wait. I'll tell you.
I learned to read kind of late.
251
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,229
That's really sweet.
252
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,398
Thanks.
253
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,149
Like, how late is late?
254
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,526
Like, a grade.
255
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:37,113
That's not that bad.
We gotta go deeper. Oh...
256
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:38,322
Yeah. I have eczema!
257
00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:40,199
Everyone has eczema.
258
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:41,659
- Really?
- Yes!
259
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:43,452
Oh. I didn't know that.
260
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,830
- Just try it.
- Yeah?
261
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:49,083
Opening up about something
that makes you uncomfortable.
262
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,127
It helps people connect to you.
263
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,005
Okay.
264
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,717
It's like 1989 or Red
or the one with the snake, which...
265
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,009
Please, stop.
266
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,974
Is someone's mom here?
267
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,350
Sasha!
268
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,769
- Oh boy. That's, uh... That's for me.
- What?
269
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:11,605
Sasha, you gonna pretend you don't see me?
270
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:12,857
That's insane.
271
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:14,984
And, Noah, are you serious?
272
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,827
One minute
you're getting engaged to Rebecca,
273
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:19,363
who you are getting back together with,
by the way,
274
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,925
and now you're here with whore number one
and whore number two?
275
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:23,367
I hope I'm whore number one.
276
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,119
- I'm sorry. She's intense.
- She's...
277
00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:26,203
She comes in hot.
278
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,539
It's not about you, obviously.
279
00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:31,333
She'll burn out and then
she'll take a nap. She's like a puppy.
280
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:34,211
Sasha, if you're not out in ten seconds,
I'm running you over.
281
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,337
Ten,
282
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,046
nine,
283
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:38,632
eight...
284
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,469
- This place is played out. I'm taking off.
- I'm gonna stay.
285
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,095
- Seven!
- It's a pleasure.
286
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,597
- Mm.
- Six!
287
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,440
You don't have to stay.
We're about to leave.
288
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:48,017
- Really?
- Yeah, I'm pretty tired.
289
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,019
Sorry. I didn't hear you in there.
290
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,395
Five, four, three, two, one.
291
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:54,148
- Hi, how's it going?
- Hi, sweetie. Good, dear. Noah!
292
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:56,150
- Sorry.
- That's fine. We're gonna head out.
293
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,568
Noah, come on!
294
00:12:57,651 --> 00:13:00,571
- All right, well, I'll talk to you soon.
- Great. Talk to you soon.
295
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,657
Okay. All right. Bye. Bye.
296
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,179
- Engaged.
- I know.
297
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,454
Of course he's engaged.
298
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,061
Okay. Let's get it over with.
299
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,272
And, Mom, you know
that key is for emergencies only.
300
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:38,859
My son having a mental breakdown
is an emergency.
301
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,903
Now, you explain to me how this woman
302
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:44,865
got her claws
into my beautiful, beautiful son.
303
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:48,369
Did she mention Jesus to you?
'Cause sometimes they try to recruit you.
304
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:51,539
- Okay. You guys, it's not...
- Rebecca knows about her.
305
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,209
What's there to know?
306
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:58,087
That you brought her to temple
and stood, like, weirdly close to her.
307
00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,964
How does she know that?
Because you told her?
308
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:02,383
She's my best friend, you dipshit.
Course I told her.
309
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:05,594
And you, Esther, allowing Sasha
to go out with them last night?
310
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,930
She has a sister, you know?
311
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,683
Oh, I saw the sister. Not worried.
312
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:14,603
I mean, she was clearly into me,
but obviously, I would never...
313
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,897
- Honey.
- Noah, you had your fun.
314
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:20,109
You tested it out,
and... it's not what you want.
315
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,779
- Says who?
- E... Excuse me?
316
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:24,863
Sorry.
317
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:26,574
What you gonna do?
318
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:29,952
What? You gonna turn your whole life
upside down for this girl?
319
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,954
This is all a little dramatic.
320
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,581
No, I don't think it is.
321
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:37,293
I mean, I'm sure you already know
that no one could take a rabbi seriously
322
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,919
who is dating a shiksa.
323
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,213
Let alone marrying one.
324
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,840
Okay.
325
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:43,923
So...
326
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,303
I don't mind looking like
the overprotective mother.
327
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:56,061
Mom, we just met. Everyone's getting
way ahead of themselves.
328
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,438
No, I don't think we are.
329
00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:00,816
And I'm not even including her... "s"
330
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:03,694
podcast.
331
00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:05,446
Oh God. What's an "s" podcast?
332
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:07,156
Oh, our mom can't say the word sex.
333
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,241
Not even to me.
334
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:19,335
Sure. Okay, sex sells, but this podcast
is about so much more than sex.
335
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:20,461
It's about empowerment.
336
00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:23,130
It's a textbook example
of fourth-wave feminism.
337
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:28,177
We're talking about your podcast, right?
338
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:31,180
- I was gonna ask the same question.
- Yeah, exactly.
339
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:32,806
Joanne, don't overthink it.
340
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:36,101
The whole reason we started this was
so we could get free skincare sent to us.
341
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:40,314
If we acquire your show,
you won't need free stuff anymore.
342
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:44,818
So, what's up, guys?
One-year check-in. How's married life?
343
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:49,031
- Um, I think we're in a good place.
- Yeah.
344
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,514
- Sure, okay.
- But I think...
345
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,201
I think it's good.
346
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:54,328
- It's good.
- Okay.
347
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:58,123
Uh, you know what? I'm gonna go first.
348
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:01,168
I don't think it's a bad idea
to admit that our podcast
349
00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:03,504
is about something bigger, right?
350
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:06,507
Our audience seems to get that.
Noah definitely got it.
351
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,802
My own relationship recently blew up.
352
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:11,512
Rebecca dumped you?
353
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:14,449
Uh, did she dump... I'd say it's
the other way around. It doesn't matter.
354
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:17,643
Well, she's gonna be fine.
I mean, she's got a lot of options, so...
355
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:18,644
Beautiful girl.
356
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:20,729
Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean...
357
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,482
Cool. So the rabbi
you wanna fuck agrees with you.
358
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:25,317
- Please stop.
- What? You wanna fuck him.
359
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,321
Of course I wanna fuck him,
but I'm not going to.
360
00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:29,571
He was engaged,
and the whole thing feels shady.
361
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,407
You were never gonna end up with a rabbi.
362
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,242
- She hates religion.
- No, I don't.
363
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,005
Plus she was a lesbian for a year.
I think that's where she thrived.
364
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:37,454
- God, I really did.
- Yeah.
365
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:41,083
Anyway, please stop lecturing these people
so we can get back to our podcast,
366
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,085
which is all about dicks.
367
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:45,230
- That's what I was thinking too.
- Thank you.
368
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:48,549
It doesn't matter what you talk about.
This is what matters. You two.
369
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:50,634
- Perfect.
- Great.
370
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:55,848
The thing about Rebecca and I is...
we never really talked to each other.
371
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:59,268
I mean, like, we talked,
but we didn't say anything. Nothing real.
372
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,437
We just had these circular conversations.
373
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:06,233
We never got into anything uncomfortable,
and then, you know,
374
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,945
suddenly, three years later,
you don't really know each other.
375
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,867
So let's learn from my mistakes.
What do you wanna say to each other?
376
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,996
What do you want the other to hear?
Jess, you wanna go?
377
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,878
There's a reason why I work so hard.
378
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,882
I don't wanna become my mother.
I'm, like, petrified from it.
379
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,926
When my dad left, she couldn't...
380
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,921
- Hello.
- You don't have to do that.
381
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,614
I know. But I am doing it
because I'm a gentleman.
382
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,826
A gentleman I never would have spoken to
had I known you were engaged.
383
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,244
Uh, not engaged.
384
00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:43,497
Almost, yes, but it never happened.
That's an important distinction.
385
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:44,623
Mm.
386
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:47,543
Regardless, hey, I didn't handle it right.
387
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:51,255
I told you, I was trying
to stay away from messy.
388
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:53,382
- Yeah.
- This is very messy.
389
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:56,260
Okay. Well, for whatever it's worth,
I'm very sorry.
390
00:18:57,928 --> 00:18:59,054
- Hi there.
- Hi.
391
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,491
- Can I get something to drink?
- I'm okay. I'm not staying.
392
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:02,641
Oh.
393
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:05,394
I'm gonna have a Modelo, please.
394
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,477
Thanks.
395
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:10,607
Can I actually get a margarita? To go.
396
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,943
- Okay, we can't do that.
- They're not gonna do that.
397
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:16,029
Okay, well, then put it in a glass
you never wanna see again.
398
00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:17,738
Fine.
399
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:22,369
Rebecca and I were never gonna work.
We just didn't fit.
400
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:26,165
And yet, everyone said we did,
so, you know, we stayed in it.
401
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,959
Rebecca sounds really pretty.
402
00:19:29,918 --> 00:19:32,379
Like a chestnut brunette.
Perfect teeth. Thick hair.
403
00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:34,214
I have really thin hair just so you know.
404
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:37,301
- I don't think so.
- There's a lot of it, but it's very fine.
405
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:39,052
She has thick hair, doesn't she?
406
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,156
- It's thick.
- I knew it.
407
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,848
- I've lost my watch in it.
- Oh my God.
408
00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:48,061
- What... What now?
- Well, I don't know.
409
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,732
As established, I'm definitely very fresh
off of a long-term relationship.
410
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:54,693
Plus, you and I come
from such different worlds.
411
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,945
- It'd be very hard to pull off.
- I'm gonna stop you.
412
00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:00,032
You can't friend-zone me
because I already friend-zoned you.
413
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:02,868
Oh, 100%. I am agreeing
that that's likely the best call.
414
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,953
Still kind of rude.
Please don't steal my thunder.
415
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,037
Understood.
416
00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:08,332
- Can I get some bread too, please?
- Mm-hmm.
417
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:09,625
Are you staying?
418
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,168
Undecided.
419
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:13,753
Well, look...
420
00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:15,694
- Some bread.
- Thank you.
421
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:18,508
I wanna thank you for talking about
why you did your podcast.
422
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,928
I was flailing today
when I was counseling this couple,
423
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:24,723
and suddenly, your voice...
your voice popped in my head.
424
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,016
- My voice?
- Yeah.
425
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:28,977
Did I say, "Noah, talk about dicks."
426
00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:31,980
No. No. It was a different voice.
427
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,484
And, um, I was thinking
about how honest you are on it
428
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:38,445
and how that really helps people, and so
429
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:43,825
I tried opening up to this couple,
and... it really helped.
430
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:46,495
So it's not just all about dicks.
431
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:51,083
- What you do is important.
- Thank you!
432
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:53,473
That's what I keep trying to tell people.
433
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,090
Can I get you something to start?
434
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:03,303
Okay, I was thinking about a salad.
435
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:07,015
Sure. We have a chopped,
a wedge, and a green goddess.
436
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,184
I'll take the chopped, please. No bacon.
437
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,668
- Okay.
- Thank you.
438
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:12,980
Can I actually get a wedge?
439
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:15,983
- Extra bacon.
- Wow.
440
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,066
Sure.
441
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:21,070
L'chaim.
442
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:22,780
L'chaim.
443
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,993
Oh wow! Really?
444
00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:28,870
Tell me more about Rebecca.
I think I'm obsessed with her.
445
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,831
Oh, creepy.
446
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:33,500
Um, what do you wanna know?
447
00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:35,460
- Anything that'll torture me.
- Okay.
448
00:21:37,254 --> 00:21:39,631
- She's prettier without makeup.
- Of course.
449
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:40,715
Uh...
450
00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:42,801
She's weirdly good at math.
451
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,429
Calls her grandparents every day.
452
00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:47,263
Um...
453
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,976
- She's super funny.
- She's funny?
454
00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:53,270
- Fuck me!
- Just kidding. She's not funny at all.
455
00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:54,353
- She's not?
- No.
456
00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:55,938
No.
457
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:59,192
- I think you're gonna get back together.
- Really?
458
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,569
And I think that you should.
459
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:06,366
You deserve to be with someone
who calls their grandparents... at all.
460
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:16,043
Oh. My Uber is gonna be here soon.
461
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:17,502
Yeah, mine's close too.
462
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:22,883
Thank you. Glad we did this.
463
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:25,468
Me too.
464
00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:41,651
Isn't it crazy that we never kissed
this whole time? How did that happen?
465
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:43,695
Yeah. I'm very aware
we haven't kissed yet.
466
00:22:45,113 --> 00:22:46,365
- Yet?
- Yeah.
467
00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:48,075
- But we're just friends.
- Sure.
468
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:52,287
And friends don't kiss, which is why,
you know, I'm aware we haven't.
469
00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:58,752
But what if we had
just, like, one... goodbye kiss?
470
00:22:59,503 --> 00:23:00,629
Hmm.
471
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:06,385
Hand me your ice cream.
472
00:23:09,346 --> 00:23:10,346
Put your bag down.
473
00:23:47,968 --> 00:23:50,095
I mean, is there a world where this works?
474
00:23:51,721 --> 00:23:52,721
Yeah...
475
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,858
Sorry. Damn.
476
00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:03,942
Everything okay?
477
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:05,902
Yeah. Sorry. It's work.
478
00:24:07,946 --> 00:24:10,699
Unfortunately, a rabbi is always on call.
I should take this.
479
00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:13,743
My Uber's here anyway.
480
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:15,871
Okay.
481
00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:17,080
♪...just life ♪
482
00:24:18,206 --> 00:24:20,417
♪ I lived it twice ♪
483
00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:22,836
♪ I treat you right... ♪
484
00:24:22,919 --> 00:24:24,337
- Okay. Go, go, go.
- All right.
485
00:24:24,421 --> 00:24:26,047
♪ The way you taught... ♪
486
00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:27,215
- All right. Bye.
- Bye.
487
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:28,133
Bye.
488
00:24:28,216 --> 00:24:29,384
♪...just life ♪
489
00:24:30,051 --> 00:24:32,637
♪ I lived it twice ♪
490
00:24:33,263 --> 00:24:35,348
♪ So say good night ♪
491
00:24:36,433 --> 00:24:38,810
♪ Don't say it softly ♪
492
00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:42,022
♪ If you see her out there ♪
493
00:24:43,356 --> 00:24:44,774
♪ Behind the wheel... ♪
494
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:47,486
Beck, are you okay?
495
00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:53,700
♪ Oh God, I hope she escapes ♪
496
00:24:57,245 --> 00:24:59,456
♪ Whole damn world is a cage ♪
497
00:25:02,542 --> 00:25:04,461
♪ But that's just life ♪
498
00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:07,464
♪ I lived it twice ♪
499
00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:10,467
♪ I treat you right ♪
500
00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:14,054
♪ The way you taught me ♪
501
00:25:14,554 --> 00:25:16,473
♪ That's just life ♪
502
00:25:17,057 --> 00:25:19,476
♪ I lived it twice ♪
503
00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:22,145
♪ So say good night ♪
504
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,732
♪ Don't say it softly ♪
505
00:25:25,815 --> 00:25:28,068
♪ But that's just life ♪
506
00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:31,071
♪ I lived it twice ♪
507
00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:34,074
♪ I treat you right ♪
508
00:25:35,075 --> 00:25:37,494
♪ The way you taught me ♪
509
00:25:38,495 --> 00:25:40,080
♪ That's just life ♪
510
00:25:41,164 --> 00:25:43,166
♪ I lived it twice ♪
511
00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:46,086
♪ So say good night ♪
40745
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