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This programme contains
very strong language
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from the outset and throughout.
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Be My Baby #
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Be My Baby #
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Shh, shh, shh.
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# The night we met, I knew I...
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# Needed you so...
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# Needed you so...
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Oh, Mummy loves it
when you stay up all night
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OK, bubba.
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OK, baby.
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00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:40,000
Oh! Sc-use you!
13
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Oh! Sc-use you!
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# We'll make 'em turn their heads
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# Every place we go
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# So won't you please
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# Be my, be my baby
18
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# Be my, be my baby
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# Be my little baby... #
Oh, fuck! Ahh.
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00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,880
You OK?
21
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,840
Shit. Hey, you OK?
22
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,000
Hey. Why are you lying
in the baby's shit bags?
23
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,080
Hey. Why are you lying
in the baby's shit bags?
24
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,920
I guess it's comfortable.
Jesus, it fucking stinks!
25
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,320
Oh, I was clearing up.
But I said I'd do that.
26
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I know.
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I know.
28
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,240
I love you.
29
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,920
I love you, too.
30
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:20,000
Hey. Hey.
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00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,760
Hey. Hey.
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Will you marry me?
33
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:28,000
Are you fucking joking?
34
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,200
Are you fucking joking?
35
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:32,120
I...
36
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,720
have never been more serious
in my life.
37
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:36,000
Yeah.
Yeah?
38
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,400
Yeah.
Yeah?
39
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,280
Yeah!
40
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:44,000
Money #
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Money #
42
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:51,000
# The best things in life
are free... #
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00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,000
Who knows what tomorrow brings?
Only the wind.
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00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,640
Who knows what tomorrow brings?
Only the wind.
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00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:57,240
Who knows why the telephone rings?
Only the wind.
46
00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,000
Who knows which way
the road will turn?
47
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:00,480
Who knows which way
the road will turn?
48
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,720
Only the wind. Yeah.
49
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,640
It's a poem by JD Marquis.
50
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,080
I just don't understand
what that's got to do
51
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,000
with me telling you
that my life's in disarray.
52
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,640
with me telling you
that my life's in disarray.
53
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,640
All me mates are fucking sorted,
they have a future,
54
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,960
and I'm the fucking late one
to the party again, you great twat.
55
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,400
Know what I mean?
Only the wind can tell you that.
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00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,240
Should I go out there now,
Christopher,
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and ask the fucking wind?
58
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,800
Always reminds me of Melinda.
59
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:24,000
We were in Mexico. Tulum.
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00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,440
We were in Mexico. Tulum.
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00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,040
You ever been there?
No.
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00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:29,480
Idiot.
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00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,000
It's amazing.
We were on a poetry retreat.
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00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:32,160
It's amazing.
We were on a poetry retreat.
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00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,560
Her idea. She'd rented
this eco-cabana on the beach.
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00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,320
We'd been swimming in the ocean.
67
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,920
I'm having a shower and she comes in
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00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,000
and wraps her beautiful arms
around me.
69
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:40,920
and wraps her beautiful arms
around me.
70
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,840
And then she slid herself down
and...
71
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,920
Just noshes you off.
..and pleasures me.
72
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,000
And on the wind at that very moment
came that poem - to me.
73
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,040
And on the wind at that very moment
came that poem - to me.
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00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,960
Dude, how in the fuck
do you get from MY sadness...
75
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,000
to YOU being on a beach?
It's all linked, Vinnie.
76
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:56,160
to YOU being on a beach?
It's all linked, Vinnie.
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00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,360
It's not fucking linked!
It is. It's all about...
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00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,280
loss and sorrow and sadness.
I'm leaving.
79
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,000
Fine.
80
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:04,320
Fine.
81
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:08,920
Listen, am I invited
to this reception?
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00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,000
Here Come The Girls #
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00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:15,040
Here Come The Girls #
84
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:20,000
Oh, my God!
85
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,680
Oh, my God!
86
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:25,880
Mate, you look absolutely beautiful.
87
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:28,000
I look like what I am - tired,
with massive tits and dry skin.
88
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,160
I look like what I am - tired,
with massive tits and dry skin.
89
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,840
Oh, shut up.
I think you look a million dollars.
90
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,880
Aw.
91
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,000
Cos, you know,
she's never been a classic beauty.
92
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,680
Cos, you know,
she's never been a classic beauty.
93
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,920
More of like a quirky quack-quack,
quack-quack, quack-quack-quack.
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00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,160
Thanks, Mum.
95
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,000
Your chauffeur awaits! Let's go!
96
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,240
Your chauffeur awaits! Let's go!
97
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,040
Oh, my God!
98
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,680
Oh, my God.
99
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:52,000
And the best part is,
we're taking the long way there!
100
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,400
And the best part is,
we're taking the long way there!
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00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,800
# Here come the girls
102
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:00,000
# Girls, girls, girls
103
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,680
# Girls, girls, girls
104
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,800
# Here come the girls... #
105
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,080
Oi, listen.
Don't laugh, right, but...
106
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,960
that registrar, he keeps on gurning.
107
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,280
Look. He's getting a tic.
108
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,880
That's not a fucking tic.
109
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,760
No, that's not a tic. I went out
with a fella with a tic once.
110
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,000
Gorgeous, he was.
Every time he laughed, he..."Ha-ha!"
111
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,480
Gorgeous, he was.
Every time he laughed, he..."Ha-ha!"
112
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,240
Let me guess, you fucked him though?
I did, yeah.
113
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:31,080
There was no laughing
in that bedroom,
114
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,000
I'll tell you that much for free.
115
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:32,880
I'll tell you that much for free.
116
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,240
What was his cum face like?
Dude.
117
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,240
Why would I tell you that?
118
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,080
The bride is in the building!
119
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,000
Yeah, let's hope
she's not married already.
120
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,440
Yeah, let's hope
she's not married already.
121
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,560
For fuck... That's...
Dude, fucking hell, man.
122
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,280
How Glad I Am #
123
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,440
# My love has no beginning...
124
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,880
Ooh, she's fit.
125
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,000
Yeah.
Eh?
126
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:56,320
Yeah.
Eh?
127
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,160
# ..my love won't bend
128
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,760
# I'm in the middle
129
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,280
# Lost in a spin
130
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,000
Here she is. Ooh.
# Loving you... #
131
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:08,080
Here she is. Ooh.
# Loving you... #
132
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,000
Mate.
You look great, Sugar.
133
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:12,320
Mate.
You look great, Sugar.
134
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,960
You look beautiful.
135
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,240
Oh. Liz. Liz.
136
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,680
Welcome, everyone.
137
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:36,000
We're here today
to witness Jehan and Mary...
138
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,280
We're here today
to witness Jehan and Mary...
139
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,320
Mary?
..formally pledge their love,
140
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,080
to be united in marriage
141
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,000
and offer each other
the security that comes
142
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,200
and offer each other
the security that comes
143
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:48,840
from promises faithfully kept.
144
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,960
They are choosing to make
145
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,480
a commitment to each other
for the rest of their lives.
146
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,000
But first, I call upon
any person here present
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00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,800
But first, I call upon
any person here present
148
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,840
who knows of any lawful impediment,
149
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,200
to declare it now.
150
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,000
Don't say it.
151
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:08,600
Don't say it.
152
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,200
Who has the rings?
153
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,880
There you go.
Thank you.
154
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:16,000
Please repeat after me.
155
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,720
Please repeat after me.
156
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,360
Mary...
157
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,520
Mary.
158
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,000
..I offer you this ring...
..I offer you this ring...
159
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:24,680
..I offer you this ring...
..I offer you this ring...
160
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:28,040
..as a symbol
of my love and affection.
161
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,640
..as a symbol
of my love and affection.
162
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,000
Now you, Mary.
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00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:32,160
Now you, Mary.
164
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,760
Jehan...
Jehan...
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00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,800
..I offer YOU this ring...
..I offer YOU this ring...
166
00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:40,000
..as a symbol of MY love...
..as a symbol of my love...
167
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,520
..as a symbol of MY love...
..as a symbol of my love...
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00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,240
..and affection.
169
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:44,760
..and affection.
170
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,880
You may place them
on each other's fingers.
171
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:57,840
Aw.
172
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:02,000
You've made an unbreakable bond
173
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,000
in front of guests and witnesses,
174
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:04,680
in front of guests and witnesses,
175
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:09,480
and declared in law
your binding contract of marriage.
176
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,000
And it gives me great pleasure
to pronounce you...
177
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,920
And it gives me great pleasure
to pronounce you...
178
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,680
..husband and wife.
179
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,200
Everlasting Love #
180
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,160
# Open up your eyes
181
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,000
# Then you'll realise
182
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:28,160
# Then you'll realise
183
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,440
# Here I stand
with my everlasting love
184
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,120
# Need you by my side
185
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,000
# Girl, to be my bride
186
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:36,080
# Girl, to be my bride
187
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:40,040
# You'll never be denied
everlasting love
188
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,000
# From the very start
189
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,000
# Open up your heart... #
190
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:44,200
# Open up your heart... #
191
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,160
Oi! Ratboy Slim!
192
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,520
Never mind all this fucking...
193
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,000
no-words, woo-woo...
194
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,840
no-words, woo-woo...
195
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:04,760
acidy fucking grungy garagey shit.
196
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,440
Play one we all know.
197
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:08,000
Not that kind of DJ, brother.
198
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,800
Not that kind of DJ, brother.
199
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,840
It's a fucking wedding.
200
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,440
We need something
we can sing along to.
201
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,000
Fucking shut up.
Fucking Come On Eileen.
202
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,240
Fucking shut up.
Fucking Come On Eileen.
203
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,960
Hey, fucking Livin' La Vida Loca.
No.
204
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,000
Mickey by Toni fucking Basil.
205
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:24,280
Mickey by Toni fucking Basil.
206
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,720
Oh, fucking hell! I'll have a look.
Good.
207
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,360
Ooh, 'ey. No, no.
208
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,000
I have got the fucking perfect song.
209
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,560
I have got the fucking perfect song.
210
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,400
Lovely ceremony. Even with the...
211
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,800
Ah, yeah, thanks.
Are you going on a honeymoon?
212
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,000
Three days in Barcelona. Sugar's
mum's gonna look after the baby.
213
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,040
Three days in Barcelona. Sugar's
mum's gonna look after the baby.
214
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,480
She can barely pull a pint.
Is she good at looking after kids?
215
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,640
Nah, but, you know,
we'll be on the muscatel, innit.
216
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,000
Anyway, look,
I'm sure she will keep him alive.
217
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,760
Anyway, look,
I'm sure she will keep him alive.
218
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,080
Ladies and gentlemen,
special request.
219
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,520
Bride and groom
on the dancefloor, yeah?
220
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,120
Can't believe I'm playing this.
221
00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,560
This one...
222
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,600
What Is Love #
223
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,600
# Baby, don't hurt me
224
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:04,000
# Don't hurt me no more
225
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,160
# Don't hurt me no more
226
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,400
Come on!
227
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,680
# What is love?
Fucking right!
228
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,760
# Baby, don't hurt me
229
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:12,000
# Don't hurt me no more
230
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,440
# Don't hurt me no more
231
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,880
# What is love?
232
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,600
# Baby, don't hurt me
233
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,000
# Don't hurt me no more... #
Oh, bloody hell.
234
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,720
# Don't hurt me no more... #
Oh, bloody hell.
235
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,000
Who the fuck's that?
She's fit. I would.
236
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:28,320
Who the fuck's that?
She's fit. I would.
237
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,280
If I was a lesbian,
which - trust me - I've considered.
238
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,080
Christ.
239
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,000
Alright, love?
240
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:36,040
Alright, love?
241
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,000
Vinnie O'Neil?
Yeah. The very same, yeah.
242
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,000
I'm sorry to come
to your friends' wedding but...
243
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,760
It's alright. What's going on?
244
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:44,000
Can I speak to you?
You ARE speaking to me.
245
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,600
Can I speak to you?
You ARE speaking to me.
246
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:49,160
Somewhere private.
247
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:52,000
Yeah. Shall we have a...
248
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,000
Yeah. Shall we have a...
249
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,120
Sweetheart...
250
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,080
..what...what's going on?
251
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,640
It's Dylan.
252
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,480
What about him?
253
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:16,000
I'm his girlfriend.
254
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,360
I'm his girlfriend.
255
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,920
I was.
256
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,720
He's dead, Vinnie.
257
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,720
Dylan's dead.
258
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:32,000
It... It was a bike accident.
259
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,560
It... It was a bike accident.
260
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,240
What are you talking about?
261
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,000
He was on his way to work.
A kid ran out, he swerved and...
262
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:40,560
He was on his way to work.
A kid ran out, he swerved and...
263
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,680
He just got knocked off.
264
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,440
What are you talking about?
265
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,280
Dylan's never rode a bike
in his fucking life.
266
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:48,000
I'm so sorry, Vin.
267
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,080
I'm so sorry, Vin.
268
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:53,840
Vin?
269
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:55,920
What...?
270
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:00,840
It's Dylan.
271
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,280
Fuck!
272
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,000
Look at that. Can you do that?
273
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:20,400
Look at that. Can you do that?
274
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,920
No. Stop delaying.
275
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,800
- What about this?
- I am a robot.
276
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,000
It's a long way down.
277
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:28,600
It's a long way down.
278
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:30,680
That's the thrill of it.
279
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,800
You go first.
No, we did rock, paper, scissors.
280
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,000
What if it's not deep enough?
281
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:36,080
What if it's not deep enough?
282
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,040
Vin, I looked up the depth and
that's without the rain we've had.
283
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,640
It's definitely deep enough.
284
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:44,000
If I end up paraplegic, Dildo,
you're the one pushing me around.
285
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:44,800
If I end up paraplegic, Dildo,
you're the one pushing me around.
286
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:46,320
Aargh!
287
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,680
It's fucking freezing!
288
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,000
Come on!
289
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,440
Nah. I think I'll just smoke this.
290
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,000
Can I tell you a secret?
Anything.
291
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,000
I don't ever want to be normal.
How do you mean?
292
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:00,240
I don't ever want to be normal.
How do you mean?
293
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:01,960
Well, you see them.
294
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,080
They get up same time every day,
295
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,800
go to a job they hate.
296
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,560
They look unhappy.
297
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,000
What's the point of it all?
298
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,120
What's the point of it all?
299
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:12,520
So shall we make a pact?
Never be normal?
300
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,640
Never be normal.
301
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,000
Never be normal!
302
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,040
Never be normal!
303
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,760
What the fuck?
304
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,000
He talked about you a lot, you know.
305
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,560
He talked about you a lot, you know.
306
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,640
And you, Erin, and your little boy.
307
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:35,120
He was my best friend.
How can he not exist?
308
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,320
He missed yous.
309
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,000
I might just have a bit of a walk.
310
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,080
I might just have a bit of a walk.
311
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,720
Vinnie.
I'm alright.
312
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:54,160
Vinnie, don't walk off.
I don't want you to be on your own.
313
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,000
I'm alright, hon,
I'm just... Need a minute.
314
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:56,600
I'm alright, hon,
I'm just... Need a minute.
315
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,280
He, um...
316
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,320
He kept this in his wallet.
317
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,000
# Not really sure
how to feel about it
318
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,440
# Not really sure
how to feel about it
319
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:25,400
# Something in the way you move
320
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,560
# Makes me feel
like I can't live without you
321
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,600
# It...
322
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,920
# ..takes me all the way
323
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:36,000
# I want you to stay
324
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,120
# I want you to stay
325
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,000
# Want you to stay
326
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:44,640
# Want you to stay
327
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,680
# Round...
328
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,000
# And around and around
329
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:52,040
# And around and around
330
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,360
# And around we go
331
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,160
# Oh, now tell me now...
332
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,000
'What could possibly go wrong?'
333
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,000
'What could possibly go wrong?'
334
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,640
That's the stupidest plan
I've heard all year.
335
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,640
Yes!
336
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,600
Oh, now we're living!
Could've fucking killed us!
337
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,040
Oh, fuck me!
Jesus!
338
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,000
# The reason I hold on
339
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:16,360
# The reason I hold on
340
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,560
# Ooh, ooh-ooh...
341
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,000
I know you're Tyler's father.
342
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:24,320
I know you're Tyler's father.
343
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,160
Do you know what?
You created a life with her.
344
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,480
And she kept it, man. She kept yours
and she got rid of mine.
345
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,000
# But I'm the only one...
'I really miss you, dude.
346
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,680
# But I'm the only one...
'I really miss you, dude.
347
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,200
Be careful.'
348
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,760
Love you, man.
349
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,000
'I love you.'
# When you finally see the light
350
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,200
'I love you.'
# When you finally see the light
351
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:47,320
# It's hard to know
which one of us is caving
352
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:55,000
# Not really sure
how to feel about it... #
353
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,280
How are you, Vinnie?
You alright, Carol?
354
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,640
Ah, listen.
355
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,000
I'm so sorry.
356
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:04,280
I'm so sorry.
357
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,960
No-one should have to lose
their best friend.
358
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:11,160
Everyone's just a bit worried,
so I thought I'd see how you were.
359
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,000
Yeah.
360
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:12,840
Yeah.
361
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,560
I just wanted to be on my own.
362
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,000
Well, maybe for just an hour.
Alright? For the sake of the others.
363
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,840
Well, maybe for just an hour.
Alright? For the sake of the others.
364
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,760
Yeah.
365
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:28,000
Yeah?
Mm-hm.
366
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,760
Yeah?
Mm-hm.
367
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,240
Alright.
368
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,600
Sleeping At Last #
369
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:40,440
# We will call this place our home
370
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,000
# The dirt in which
our roots may grow
371
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,000
# The dirt in which
our roots may grow
372
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:52,000
# Though the storms
will push and pull
373
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,760
# Though the storms
will push and pull
374
00:15:54,960 --> 00:16:00,000
# We will call this place our home
375
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:00,160
# We will call this place our home
376
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,800
# We'll tell our stories... #
377
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:08,000
Isn't it strange to think
that man that you had inside you
378
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,200
Isn't it strange to think
that man that you had inside you
379
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,400
is not alive any more?
Mum!
380
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,720
Well, it happens to us all,
sweetheart. I've got seven of them.
381
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,000
Christ!Seven?
Yeah. My list of past lovers.
382
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,240
Christ!Seven?
Yeah. My list of past lovers.
383
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,800
Yep, seven six feet under.
384
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,760
Maybe you've got a cursed vagina.
385
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,000
You know, in the same way that
King Midas had the Midas touch,
386
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,680
You know, in the same way that
King Midas had the Midas touch,
387
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,360
you've got the cursed vagina.
388
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,680
Oh, no, actually because
there's 44 of them
389
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:32,000
that's doing totally fine.
390
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,360
that's doing totally fine.
391
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,440
Mum, stop talking about your vagina!
392
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:39,840
So you all know that Dylan's body's
being transported back up today?
393
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,080
His parents have asked
if I'll do the funeral.
394
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,560
Fuckin' mad Angie.
What about fucking Ian?
395
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,000
Oh, I hate the guy.
Who's Ian?
396
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:48,080
Oh, I hate the guy.
Who's Ian?
397
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:51,240
Oh, Dylan's step-dad. He's ex-army.
398
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,800
The fucking worst.
399
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,560
They won't even know what Dylan
wants for a funeral, anyway.
400
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,000
Fuck me, we've done it!
We already did it.
401
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,680
Fuck me, we've done it!
We already did it.
402
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,040
Who has?
403
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,840
Me and Dylan, right,
we planned his funeral -
404
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:04,000
and mine, actually -
when we were 14.
405
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,320
and mine, actually -
when we were 14.
406
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:08,520
So we stole this car
from the estate,
407
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,280
and we'd take it for a ride
around the hills.
408
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,560
I took a fucking corner too fast.
It spun like crazy.
409
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,480
We end up inches
from this 50-foot drop.
410
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:20,000
Well, it really shat us up,
411
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,280
Well, it really shat us up,
412
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,560
and all the way home,
we talked about bloody funerals.
413
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,320
And then Dylan says...
'Let's write it all down.'
414
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:28,000
So we got some paper from his mum's
telephone pad and wrote down
415
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:28,880
So we got some paper from his mum's
telephone pad and wrote down
416
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:30,560
everything we wanted
for our funeral.
417
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,800
I mean, I don't remember
what it said, like,
418
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,240
but we time-capsuled it.
419
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,000
School were doing a project,
burying shit for future generations,
420
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,160
School were doing a project,
burying shit for future generations,
421
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,600
so we nicked one of them capsules,
422
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,560
put all our funeral arrangements
in it, and buried it.
423
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,000
Yeah. Fucking mad.
424
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:44,160
Yeah. Fucking mad.
425
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,320
We should go and dig it up.
426
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,760
Cardi, they were 14,
and they were stoned.
427
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,880
Can you imagine
what's written on that?
428
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,000
Loads of dick drawings and that.
Yeah! Exactly.
429
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,960
Loads of dick drawings and that.
Yeah! Exactly.
430
00:17:56,520 --> 00:18:00,000
Hi. You must be Dylan's parents.
That's right.
431
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,120
Hi. You must be Dylan's parents.
That's right.
432
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,960
I hope you don't mind, but a couple
of his good friends are here
433
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,800
as they'd like to offer
their thoughts on his service.
434
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,440
You two cunts.
435
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,040
Still a charmer, Ian
436
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,000
Ange.
437
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,080
So sorry for your loss, Angie.
438
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,160
I'm sorry for your loss, too, guys.
439
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,000
Not MY loss. He wasn't my kid.
440
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,320
Not MY loss. He wasn't my kid.
441
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,600
If he was MY kid,
he would have a proper job,
442
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,520
rather than poncing around
gay Brighton on gay bikes,
443
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,000
getting hit by fucking lorries.
444
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:32,480
getting hit by fucking lorries.
445
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,040
Do they do gay bikes now?
They must do 'em.
446
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,560
Is that when one bike likes the sex,
447
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,960
like a bike of his own sex,
or something?
448
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,040
Let's not make a scene.
Vin.
449
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,800
By the way, twat,
I want my watch back.
450
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,400
What fucking watch?!
451
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,000
The last time you came round
with Dylan, you stole my watch.
452
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,320
The last time you came round
with Dylan, you stole my watch.
453
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,480
I never took your fucking watch,
you gobshite.
454
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,560
You're a liar and a thief.
Fake TAG Heuer.
455
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:56,000
Me mate's died and you're
fucking stood there like a-
456
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,400
Me mate's died and you're
fucking stood there like a-
457
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,120
Alright.
Fuckin, he's a knobhead.
458
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,640
Accusing us of stealing your watch.
Not HIM - YOU.
459
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,000
We're not here to talk
about watches, are we?
460
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,280
We're not here to talk
about watches, are we?
461
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,840
We're here to talk
about Dylan's funeral, alright?
462
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:12,000
Ange, have you thought about songs
or readings or anything?
463
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:12,080
Ange, have you thought about songs
or readings or anything?
464
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:15,680
Because this is no disrespect
to you, right...
465
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,040
but I think we might know more
than what you do.
466
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,040
That's very kind of you, Erin.
467
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,200
But I've just been crying
for my dead son.
468
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:28,000
A mother should never
outlive her child.
469
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,560
A mother should never
outlive her child.
470
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,160
I brought him in
and I'll take him out.
471
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,000
And, frankly, from the woman
who aborted his child,
472
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:36,880
And, frankly, from the woman
who aborted his child,
473
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,800
and the man who stole
Tyler's fatherhood from him...
474
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:43,840
You think he never told me anything,
Vinnie? Well, he DID.
475
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:44,000
He left because of YOU.
476
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,040
He left because of YOU.
477
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,080
And now I'll never see him again.
478
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,000
I couldn't care less
what you pricks want. In fact...
479
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,880
I couldn't care less
what you pricks want. In fact...
480
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,400
we don't even want you there.
481
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,280
I'd like to see my boy now.
482
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,440
This way.
483
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,000
Fuckers! I'm telling you,
there's no way they're getting Dylan.
484
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,240
Fuckers! I'm telling you,
there's no way they're getting Dylan.
485
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,240
We're throwing Dylan
a fucking funeral -
486
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,120
the funeral HE would have wanted.
487
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,880
Come on.
Wankers!
488
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:24,000
Did you steal the watch?
Yeah, I stole his fucking watch!
489
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,160
Did you steal the watch?
Yeah, I stole his fucking watch!
490
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,800
Listen, all we have to do
is jump the fence,
491
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,000
go to the field behind the staffroom
and dig up the fuckin' time capsule.
492
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,360
go to the field behind the staffroom
and dig up the fuckin' time capsule.
493
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,840
Dude.
What?
494
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,000
Give over.
Shh!
495
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,000
Stop fucking pretending to be
Steven Seagal on every shaggin' job.
496
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,040
Stop fucking pretending to be
Steven Seagal on every shaggin' job.
497
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,640
Steven Seagal, he was an awful ride
when he was young.
498
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,360
Listen to me. Listen.
499
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,000
I want you two here keeping dog-eye.
500
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:48,080
I want you two here keeping dog-eye.
501
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:50,240
Me and Dickhead are gonna
dig up some gardens.
502
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:52,480
Be safe back here.
It's gonna be crazy out there.
503
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,640
What if someone comes?
We're gonna need a signal.
504
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,000
Bark like a dog.
But what if a REAL dog barks?
505
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,480
Bark like a dog.
But what if a REAL dog barks?
506
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,600
Good point.
Let's hear your dog bark.
507
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,880
He's a big, sexy lad, in't he?
Yeah, that's good.
508
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:04,000
Ruff!
Jesus!
509
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,560
Ruff!
Jesus!
510
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,240
Ruff!
Go with that one.
511
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:10,200
High pitched, we'll know it's you.
It's really nice. Let's go.
512
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,000
Stop carrying 'em like that.
Doesn't look cool.
513
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:12,240
Stop carrying 'em like that.
Doesn't look cool.
514
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,600
You look like a stripper.
Ruff!
515
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,200
Oh, shit.
516
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,000
There's a fucking shed.
517
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,240
There's a fucking shed.
518
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,400
I take it the shed
wasn't there before, no?
519
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,040
It's a new development.
Ah. What do we do so?
520
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,000
Oh, just fuck it.
521
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:28,760
Oh, just fuck it.
522
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,480
Fuck's in there, dude?
523
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,320
I don't know.
They've got animals.
524
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:36,000
They can't even look after
fucking kids.Oh. Big, large dogs.
525
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,520
They can't even look after
fucking kids.Oh. Big, large dogs.
526
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,400
They're GOATS, you fucking pranny.
Right. Sorry.
527
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:41,720
Fuck me!
528
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,000
Come on. You're alright.
529
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:44,640
Come on. You're alright.
530
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,400
Get out.
531
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:52,000
How deep down is it?
532
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000
How deep down is it?
533
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,320
Oh, Vin, Vin, Vin.
You're having a giraffe.
534
00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:57,840
Listen, listen.
535
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:00,000
Ohh!
536
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,040
Ohh!
537
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,600
Dude, no fucking way!
538
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,440
I don't fucking believe it, dude.
539
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,280
Is this your one?
540
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,400
Course it's fucking MY one!
541
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,000
How the fuck... Get the fuck up.
But there could be multiples.
542
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,240
How the fuck... Get the fuck up.
But there could be multiples.
543
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,720
Get your spade.
544
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:24,000
Oh, shit.
545
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:24,720
Oh, shit.
546
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,920
Which one's mine? Is it that one?
Stop looking. I think it's that one.
547
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,840
Are we not gonna read-
No, you can't!
548
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,000
You can read it when I'm dead!
Aren't you gonna read it yourself?
549
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:32,800
You can read it when I'm dead!
Aren't you gonna read it yourself?
550
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,440
No! No, it's going behind the shack.
551
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,360
Putting it back in here,
behind the shack.
552
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,000
If I die, you know where it is.
Alright, there's two lists.
553
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:40,280
If I die, you know where it is.
Alright, there's two lists.
554
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:44,160
One is for the funeral
and one is for his ashes.
555
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,360
Jesus Christ,
you lads went into s bit of detail!
556
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,000
We were in a bad way. Stoned.
557
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,160
We were in a bad way. Stoned.
558
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,240
We can't do all THAT.You sure
you was only fucking stoned?
559
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,640
We'd just nearly died.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
560
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:56,000
Is that even fucking possible?
Circus-themed party. Jesus.
561
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,960
Is that even fucking possible?
Circus-themed party. Jesus.
562
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,800
As long as we give him
a fitting send-off,
563
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,880
we don't have to do ALL of it.
No, we DO.
564
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,440
We DO have to do all of it.
565
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:04,000
We have to do every fucking bit.
566
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,280
We have to do every fucking bit.
567
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,120
It's what he would've wanted.
Here he is!
568
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,120
Hello, it's me! I'm back!
569
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:12,000
I'm sorry to hear about
your friend's accident, Vincent.
570
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,760
I'm sorry to hear about
your friend's accident, Vincent.
571
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,000
That's a selfish line, in't it?
Fuck me.
572
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:20,560
That's a selfish line, in't it?
Fuck me.
573
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,880
I was very fond of Dylan.
574
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,600
It's ironic, of course, after
so long you thought I'd killed him,
575
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,600
and he gets knocked over by a truck.
576
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:28,000
Yeah, well, that is
if it WAS a fucking accident, dude.
577
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,680
Yeah, well, that is
if it WAS a fucking accident, dude.
578
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,040
Christ.
Are you kidding me?
579
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,760
I wouldn't be seen dead
driving a truck.
580
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,000
Well, does it not seem like
a bit of a coincidence
581
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:36,360
Well, does it not seem like
a bit of a coincidence
582
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,280
that McCann gets the bloody hump
about this statue
583
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:42,040
and then the next thing you know,
poor Dylan's dead, in't he?
584
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,000
Yeah, I think it IS a coincidence,
and shall I tell you why?
585
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:44,960
Yeah, I think it IS a coincidence,
and shall I tell you why?
586
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,320
Because he doesn't want Dylan.
587
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,640
He wants YOU, Vincent.
588
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:52,000
Fucking meaning what?
589
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:52,920
Fucking meaning what?
590
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:54,840
Meaning he wants you dead.
591
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,160
And he's asked ME to facilitate it.
592
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,120
Shit.
593
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,760
You put him inside for a long time
594
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,000
and every single day,
he festers on it.
595
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:08,760
and every single day,
he festers on it.
596
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,520
I'm only surprised
he's not asked me to do it sooner.
597
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,200
Alright, so what are you
gonna do about it?
598
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,880
What do you think
I should do about it? Hmm?
599
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,160
Shit, I'd rather you didn't
fucking kill me.
600
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,800
I've got stuff to do.
Know what I mean?
601
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,000
OK, let's just say
that I DON'T kill you.
602
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,760
OK, let's just say
that I DON'T kill you.
603
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,360
Do you really think Terence McCann
604
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,040
is gonna throw his hands
up in the air
605
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,280
and go, "Oh, well, never mind"?
606
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,000
Don't be daft, Vincent.
607
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:32,760
Don't be daft, Vincent.
608
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,240
You're stuck with it.
Shit.
609
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:40,000
You're gonna be looking over your
shoulder for the rest of your life.
610
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:40,640
You're gonna be looking over your
shoulder for the rest of your life.
611
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,960
You ever played Russian Roulette,
Vincent?
612
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,000
No, funnily enough,
I fucking haven't.
613
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,560
No, funnily enough,
I fucking haven't.
614
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,480
Oh, it's a good game.
615
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,120
One bullet...
616
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,000
five chambers...
617
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:56,640
five chambers...
618
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,240
What's that now? A tiny percentage.
619
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,360
20% chance?
620
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:07,920
Fuck, no.
621
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,360
No?
Fuckin' no.
622
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:12,000
Go on.
No! Fuck that.
623
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,440
Go on.
No! Fuck that.
624
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:15,040
No?
Give over. No.
625
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:16,320
No?
No!
626
00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:18,320
Don't be stupid!
No?
627
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:19,920
Davey, don't, dude! Don't!
Bang!
628
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:20,000
What the fuck?!
629
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,720
What the fuck?!
630
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,560
You're a fucking lunatic.
631
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,000
See, we're cautious creatures,
human beings, Vincent.
632
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,160
See, we're cautious creatures,
human beings, Vincent.
633
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,240
But the ones
that reap the rewards...
634
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,040
..the ones that prosper...
635
00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:39,920
..they're the ones
that take the biggest chances.
636
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,120
You were there for me
when my brother died.
637
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,640
You were very kind.
638
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:55,240
And now you need
a return on that kindness.
639
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,000
If I take care of
your McCann problem...
640
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:00,840
If I take care of
your McCann problem...
641
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,200
..then I want you to remember
what I have done for you.
642
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,320
Right?
643
00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:08,000
Mm.
Look at me.
644
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,040
Mm.
Look at me.
645
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,480
Yeah. Yes.
646
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,000
Now you go and give your friend
a fantastic send-off!Alright.
647
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,400
Now you go and give your friend
a fantastic send-off!Alright.
648
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,560
Just tell me now,
would it be deeply unethical
649
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,920
if we were to give Dildo's mum
650
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,000
the coffin
without Dildo being in it?
651
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:40,600
the coffin
without Dildo being in it?
652
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,360
Uh, yes! Unethical. Unthinkable.
We could lose our licence.
653
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,760
That's only if someone finds out
that it's happened.
654
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,000
You know, in my
admittedly limited experience...
655
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,400
You know, in my
admittedly limited experience...
656
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,080
people do generally assume
that their relative
657
00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:55,440
is, you know, residing in the box.
658
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:56,000
I know they never check,
but - bitch or not -
659
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,160
I know they never check,
but - bitch or not -
660
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,760
she's Dylan's mum and she deserves
the decency of having him in there.
661
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,640
Meena's right.
662
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:04,000
Shit.
663
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:04,920
Shit.
664
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,240
Ooh, fuck me! Alright, alright.
665
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,440
Alright.
What about if we share the bugger?
666
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,000
How do you mean?You've got
two fucking rooms, ain't ya,
667
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,400
How do you mean?You've got
two fucking rooms, ain't ya,
668
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:14,520
in the crematorium.
669
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,400
Yeah, they're always double-banking
ceremonies.Get this, right.
670
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,000
So, Dildo's mum has her funeral.
The coffin goes through the curtain.
671
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,880
So, Dildo's mum has her funeral.
The coffin goes through the curtain.
672
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:25,400
We take him on the other side
of the curtain in the other room,
673
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,000
and we do our own fucking funeral
half an hour later.
674
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:28,440
and we do our own fucking funeral
half an hour later.
675
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,680
D'you know what I mean?
Or, actually...
676
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,600
I'm sorry. That's fucking genius.
And on a serious note,
677
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,000
we kind of need some ashes as well.
678
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:36,280
we kind of need some ashes as well.
679
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,520
Hang on.
Won't Dylan's mum want the ashes?
680
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,000
Yeah, we can't share those.
681
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,000
Unless we CAN,
in which case, we will do that.
682
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,000
Oh, no, ashes are ashes.
We'll just give some spares we have.
683
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,160
Oh, no, ashes are ashes.
We'll just give some spares we have.
684
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,400
You've got spare ashes
knocking about?
685
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,120
People don't bother collecting them.
686
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,000
Some tell us to chuck 'em in t'bin.
687
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,000
Not everyone's that loved.
688
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:52,560
Not everyone's that loved.
689
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,040
Oh.
Dark.
690
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:56,880
We've got a fucking funeral
to sort out.
691
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:58,560
Come on. Get yourselves together.
692
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,000
To be honest, that looks like
a Missing Person's poster.
693
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,720
To be honest, that looks like
a Missing Person's poster.
694
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,160
No, it's gonna stand out
because it's white.
695
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,720
I think the blue stands out.
It will get lost.
696
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,000
Baba O'Riley #
697
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:08,600
Baba O'Riley #
698
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,240
Hayley Carver.
699
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,000
Vinnie did say that Dylan was
very, very smitten with her.
700
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:16,080
Vinnie did say that Dylan was
very, very smitten with her.
701
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:17,520
Captain of the netball team.
702
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:21,160
We used to call her
the Medusa of midfield defence.
703
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,000
One look at her playing
could turn your cock to stone.
704
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:24,200
One look at her playing
could turn your cock to stone.
705
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:26,000
Avanti.
706
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,000
Hayley?
No. I'm from next-door.
707
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,200
Hayley?
No. I'm from next-door.
708
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:36,160
She's been looking after my iguanas.
Is Hayley there?
709
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:37,800
Who's asking?
710
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,200
It's... It's me...
711
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:45,800
It's me. It's Thom...Thom...
Thom...Thom...Thomas Schaffner.
712
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,480
Tiny Tom?
713
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:48,000
Tiny tosspot Tommy?
714
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,720
Tiny tosspot Tommy?
715
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:51,960
Turdy tit head Tommy
twat face with his tiny-
716
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,840
Yeah, that's the one... Yeah.
717
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:56,000
Oh, Hayley, sadly we are the bearers
of very, very sad news.
718
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,480
Oh, Hayley, sadly we are the bearers
of very, very sad news.
719
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:00,600
Your old classmate,
and our dear, dear friend,
720
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,920
Dylan Golding has died.
721
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,000
Dildo?
He has a request for you.
722
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,200
Dildo?
He has a request for you.
723
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,280
From beyond the grave.
724
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,000
# Sally, take my hand
725
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:12,120
# Sally, take my hand
726
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,120
# We'll travel south cross land...#
727
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,280
Yeah, the cat shat in his food,
and he died of E. coli.
728
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:20,000
That's crazy, man.
729
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:20,360
That's crazy, man.
730
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:24,400
Hey Donny, Dave.
Ash? You've got some nerve.
731
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,120
If Beasley finds out you're here,
he'll kill you.
732
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:28,000
Never mind that.
I've got a job for you.
733
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,000
Never mind that.
I've got a job for you.
734
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,160
It's a cash-in-hand kinda situation.
735
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:32,920
Involving what?
736
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,000
# Let's get together
before we get much older
737
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,400
# Let's get together
before we get much older
738
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,000
I'm gonna go across the road.
OK.
739
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,160
I'm gonna go across the road.
OK.
740
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,600
OK.
741
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,600
That's for Dylan's funeral,
so if you can make it...
742
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:52,000
Or not. Whatever.
743
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:53,200
Or not. Whatever.
744
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,040
Told you he'd be dead, didn't I?
745
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,720
You prick!
746
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,400
Will there be food and drink after?
I'm gonna kill him.
747
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,160
I am gonna kill yer.
Come on. Come on.
748
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,840
I have it on very good authority
749
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,000
that you're like
Pablo Pi-fucking-casso
when it comes to drones.
750
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,400
that you're like
Pablo Pi-fucking-casso
when it comes to drones.
751
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,920
I need something
very, very specific.
752
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:23,560
Buy me a white wine spritzer
and I'm all ears.
753
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,520
I don't want to make
a big thing of it.
754
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:35,960
I'll just show you.
755
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,400
Jesus!
Yeah. Yeah. Just let us in.
756
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,000
Jesus.
OK. Thank you.
757
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:40,160
Jesus.
OK. Thank you.
758
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,440
Can't have rats
in a fireworks factory, can you?
759
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,480
The workers clock off at 5:30.
760
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,000
So, we can go and set some traps,
761
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:48,560
So, we can go and set some traps,
762
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,440
while you go and find a decent
hiding place somewhere.
763
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,880
Disabled toilet.
No one goes in 'em.
764
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,000
Well, except for, like,
disabled people, Jim, eh?
765
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:56,760
Well, except for, like,
disabled people, Jim, eh?
766
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,120
That's prime shitting real estate.
767
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,040
Stop fucking arguing about toilets.
768
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,000
Listen, go and fucking
lay some traps, pair of you.
769
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:04,800
Listen, go and fucking
lay some traps, pair of you.
770
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,120
Spread out.
Look like you're meant to be here.
771
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,640
Go.
Oh, fuck dude.
772
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,880
I'm doing it.
You're dumb as fuck.
773
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:12,000
Does my head in.
774
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:12,520
Does my head in.
775
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,320
Fucking old twat.
776
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,120
Makes you think, don't it?
777
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:20,000
Someone dying.
778
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:20,920
Someone dying.
779
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,160
Have you achieved everything
you wanted to do?
780
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:25,880
Yeah, man.
781
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,960
Gotta live true to yourself.
782
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,600
Gotta know real love, and...
783
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,120
..you know, bring joy
to the hearts of others.
784
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:35,800
I wanna do bukkake.
785
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,760
I've asked around but...
786
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,080
it's not that easy to arrange.
787
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,400
You've "asked around"?
788
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:44,000
In the pub, in farmers' forums.
789
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,240
In the pub, in farmers' forums.
790
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,080
Yeah, no takers?
Not a fucking sniff.
791
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:52,000
Right, so just to clarify,
792
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,400
Right, so just to clarify,
793
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,960
who is it who's being jizzed on?
794
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,760
You?
795
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,000
Yeah. Not saying I'd like it.
796
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:00,400
Yeah. Not saying I'd like it.
797
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,880
So let's just leave it at that.
Yeah, let's.
798
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:06,080
Hey up.
799
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:08,000
Wayne, I'm off!
See you tomorrow.
800
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,680
Wayne, I'm off!
See you tomorrow.
801
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:11,360
Alright, see you tomorrow.
802
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,000
'Security alert. You are on camera.
803
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,400
'Security alert. You are on camera.
804
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,400
Authorisation coded needed.'
805
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,240
4-5...1-8.
806
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:32,000
'Incorrect. You have
two attempts remaining.'
807
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:33,760
'Incorrect. You have
two attempts remaining.'
808
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,080
Shit!
Vinnie, what's going on?
809
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:40,000
Can't you open the fucking shutters?
I can't open the fucking shutters.
810
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:40,040
Can't you open the fucking shutters?
I can't open the fucking shutters.
811
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,840
There's a fucking security robot.
He's a dick.
812
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,560
'Incorrect. One attempt remaining.'
Fuck off!
813
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,000
'Incorrect. Security breach.
Security breach. Security breach.
814
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,240
'Incorrect. Security breach.
Security breach. Security breach.
815
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,640
You must leave
the premises immediately.'
816
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,040
Argh!
817
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:55,120
'Security breach. Security breach.
818
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:56,000
Security breach.'
Fuck's sake, dude!
819
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,440
Security breach.'
Fuck's sake, dude!
820
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,360
Hang on. Jesus Christ!
821
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,560
'You must leave
the premises immediately.'
822
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,000
Fucking stupid thing.
823
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:04,040
Fucking stupid thing.
824
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:15,680
What the fuck you doing?
There's a fucking AI robot, dude.
825
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,800
'Sensor down! Sensor down!
826
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:20,000
No intel.
827
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,520
No intel.
828
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,640
Please notify manufacturer.'
829
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:26,880
I've fixed it.
830
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:01,760
Christ.
831
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:04,360
Shit.
832
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,720
Oi. Oi! Get in t'cars and that.
833
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:08,000
I'm gonna ring that bloke,
the Drone King geezer.
834
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,600
I'm gonna ring that bloke,
the Drone King geezer.
835
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:13,040
Rocking and rolling.
Get in there, Thomas.
836
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,880
Summat different about you today.
837
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:24,000
# Running through the heat,
heartbeat
838
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,960
# Running through the heat,
heartbeat
839
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,200
# You shine like silver
in the sunlight
840
00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:32,000
# You light up my cold heart
841
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:36,120
# It feels right in the sun, the sun
842
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,600
# We're running around and 'round
843
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,000
# Like nothing else
could matter in our lives
844
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,400
# Like nothing else
could matter in our lives
845
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,560
# But wait, but wait, but wait...
846
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,000
# The sun will stop shining soon
847
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:48,280
# The sun will stop shining soon
848
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:52,200
# And you'll be dark in my life
849
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,240
# Yeah, you'll be gone
850
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:56,000
# It's as simple
as a change of heart
851
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,240
# It's as simple
as a change of heart
852
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:02,280
# But I'm not gonna
think about the future
853
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,000
# A love like this
won't last forever
854
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,840
# A love like this
won't last forever
855
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:12,000
# I know that a love like this
856
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:12,200
# I know that a love like this
857
00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:15,200
# Won't last forever... #
858
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,840
He wanted skywriting.
859
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,000
It's classy. Very classy.
860
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:20,520
It's classy. Very classy.
861
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:30,280
Ahh.
862
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:39,880
It's less classy now, obviously.
863
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,120
But now it's time
to say a final goodbye,
864
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,000
committing Dylan's body
to its resting place
865
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:52,640
committing Dylan's body
to its resting place
866
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,760
and thus his memory to our hearts.
867
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,360
In love, we leave him in peace.
868
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,000
And with respect,
we bid him farewell.
869
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,240
And with respect,
we bid him farewell.
870
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,200
Listen. Er...
871
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,960
The first time I met this bugger...
872
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,480
..I was only little.
873
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,000
And I knew he was special.
874
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:04,160
And I knew he was special.
875
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,600
They say opposites attract,
and they definitely did.
876
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:12,000
He was sensible...and handsome...
877
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,280
He was sensible...and handsome...
878
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:17,400
..clever.
879
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,000
But when we were together,
we were the same.
880
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:20,160
But when we were together,
we were the same.
881
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:24,640
You know...we made a pact,
when we were little...
882
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:28,000
..that we'd never live
a normal life.
883
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,400
..that we'd never live
a normal life.
884
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:33,880
I mean, fucking boring 9:00 to 5:00,
885
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,000
every fucking day
starts looking the same, you know?
886
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,280
every fucking day
starts looking the same, you know?
887
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,360
But I do... I realise now, that...
888
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,000
people do need a bit of normality...
889
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:44,280
people do need a bit of normality...
890
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:49,240
..and just someone to love...
891
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,000
..and someone to love them, too.
892
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,080
..and someone to love them, too.
893
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:55,960
Somewhere to go,
894
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,480
somewhere you can call your own,
you know?
895
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,720
And Dylan wasn't much different.
896
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:06,200
Life with me...
897
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:08,000
..it was too chaotic for him.
898
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,120
..it was too chaotic for him.
899
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,480
It was too scary.
I think he was always...
900
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,200
..he was always panicked
901
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:16,000
that something fucking terrible
might happen.
902
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:16,880
that something fucking terrible
might happen.
903
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,640
Er...
904
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:24,000
..I just hope that in his
final moments, you know, he was...
905
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:27,320
..I just hope that in his
final moments, you know, he was...
906
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,520
..he was happy...
907
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:32,000
..and he had some love
in his heart, you know?
908
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:35,560
..and he had some love
in his heart, you know?
909
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:52,480
Um...
910
00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:55,600
..he wouldn't have wanted
today to be sad.
911
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:56,000
No.
No.
912
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,840
No.
No.
913
00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:59,720
In fact, he, erm...
914
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,960
he wanted it to be quite fun.
915
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,000
Um...
916
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:04,080
Um...
917
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:07,600
You all have a box in front of you,
so if you'd like to open it...
918
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:12,000
Oh, fucking hell.
919
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,200
Oh, fucking hell.
920
00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:14,960
Come on.
You're fucking joking me.
921
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,000
And let's give the best goodbye
922
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,840
And let's give the best goodbye
923
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,240
to the beautiful man that was...
924
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:27,600
..Dylan Golding.
925
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:28,000
Dylan.
926
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,360
Dylan.
927
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,080
Come on, let's sit down.
928
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:36,000
Come on, up, up, up...
929
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:37,480
Come on, up, up, up...
930
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,000
# I'm sitting on top of the world
931
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,520
# I'm sitting on top of the world
932
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,320
# I'm rolling along
933
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,000
# Yes, rolling along
934
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,480
# Yes, rolling along
935
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:56,400
# And I'm quitting...
Lynda? Who's Lynda?
936
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:58,120
# ..the blues of the world
937
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,000
# I'm singing a song
938
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:00,520
# I'm singing a song
939
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:03,160
# Yes, singing a song
940
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:06,160
# "Glory hallelujah,"
I just told the Parson
941
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,000
# "Hey, Par, get ready to call"
942
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,120
# "Hey, Par, get ready to call"
943
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:14,040
# Just like Humpty Dumpty,
I'm going to fall
944
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,000
# And I'm sitting
on top of the world
945
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,480
# And I'm sitting
on top of the world
946
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:21,200
# I'm rolling along
947
00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:23,640
# Rolling along
948
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:24,000
# Don't want any millions
949
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,320
# Don't want any millions
950
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:28,800
# I'm getting my share
951
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,360
# I've only got one suit, just one
952
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:32,000
# That's all I can wear
953
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,120
# That's all I can wear
954
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:36,320
# A bundle of money
955
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,000
# Don't make me feel gay
956
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:40,000
# A sweet little honey
is making me say
957
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:44,560
# A sweet little honey
is making me say
958
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:48,000
# And I'm sitting, sitting on top,
top of the world
959
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:49,360
# And I'm sitting, sitting on top,
top of the world
960
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,800
# I'm rolling along
961
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:55,240
# Rolling along
962
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:56,000
# And I'm quitting, quitting
the blues, blues of the world
963
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:59,680
# And I'm quitting, quitting
the blues, blues of the world
964
00:40:59,720 --> 00:41:02,480
# I'm singing a song
965
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,000
# Just singing a song
966
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:04,680
# Just singing a song
967
00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:07,920
# "Glory hallelujah,"
I just told the Parson
968
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,960
# "Hey, Par, get ready to call"
969
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,000
# Just like Humpty Dumpty,
I'm going to fall
970
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,960
# Just like Humpty Dumpty,
I'm going to fall
971
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:20,000
# And, yeah, I'm sitting on top,
top of the world
972
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:20,280
# And, yeah, I'm sitting on top,
top of the world
973
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:23,040
# I'm rolling along
974
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,880
# Rolling along. #
975
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,600
He was a wonderful man.
976
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:41,760
He was.
977
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:44,000
I can see why he loved you all.
Mm.
978
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,960
I can see why he loved you all.
Mm.
979
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,000
Oh, shit.
980
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:52,120
Oh, shit.
981
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,520
Hm?
I'll just be a minute.
982
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:56,000
Fuck.
983
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,000
My condolences.
984
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:08,160
My condolences.
985
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:09,680
Thanks, man.
986
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:15,160
McCann is no more.
987
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,400
Toodle-pip, sweetheart.
988
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:22,080
Er...
989
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:29,600
The King is dead, Donna.
990
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:32,000
Long live the King.
991
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:32,360
Long live the King.
992
00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:38,400
Here we go...
993
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,000
Fucking hell.
994
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:40,440
Fucking hell.
995
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,560
The Oogum Boogum Song #
996
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:56,000
# Oogum, oogum, boogum, boogum
Boogum now, baby, you're casting...
997
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,680
# Oogum, oogum, boogum, boogum
Boogum now, baby, you're casting...
998
00:42:58,720 --> 00:43:00,760
Drum roll, drum roll.
999
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,320
Ohh!
1000
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:04,000
OK, quiet down in there, Ash.
1001
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,680
OK, quiet down in there, Ash.
1002
00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:09,640
Come on!
1003
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:12,000
# You got me doin' funny things
like a clown
1004
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:15,440
# You got me doin' funny things
like a clown
1005
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:17,200
# Just look at me...
1006
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,640
Have you got everything?
Yeah.
1007
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:26,800
Are you ready to rock?
Make sure YOU'VE got everything,
because this is one hell of a walk.
1008
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:28,000
I'm ready for it.
1009
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:28,320
I'm ready for it.
1010
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,600
# And you wear that cute mini skirt
1011
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:32,680
# With your brother's
sloppy shirt... #
1012
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,000
I tell you what, I never thought
he'd be the first to die, you know.
1013
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:36,400
I tell you what, I never thought
he'd be the first to die, you know.
1014
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,440
Who'd you think WOULD be?
This cunt here.
1015
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,880
Deranged fucking sex act,
definitely-
1016
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,160
It has come very close,
believe you me.
1017
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:46,720
I can see it!
1018
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,720
Come on, let's go. Come on.
Last one up the hill's a knobhead!
1019
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,000
Jesus fucking Christ.
Thank God for that.
1020
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:52,640
Jesus fucking Christ.
Thank God for that.
1021
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:54,880
Oh, it looks gorgeous. Come on.
1022
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:57,360
Oh, it's freezing.
1023
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:00,000
Sickness. Come on.
1024
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:00,640
Sickness. Come on.
1025
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:02,280
Woo, look at it.
1026
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:05,560
Come on, let's have it.
Are you having it? Yeah, man.
1027
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:08,000
It's a good-sized dick, in't it?
1028
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,120
It's a good-sized dick, in't it?
1029
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,480
Right, according
to Dylan's instructions,
1030
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,000
he wanted this to be
his final resting place.
1031
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:16,080
he wanted this to be
his final resting place.
1032
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:21,080
OK? And his ashes, I quote,
he wants 'em sprinkled...
1033
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,880
"like cum coming out of
the giant chalk man's dick".
1034
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:24,000
Classy. Classy.
1035
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,080
Classy. Classy.
1036
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:29,480
So, going with
14-year-old Dyl's bloody wishes...
1037
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:32,000
let's jizz it out. Just give us
an 'and with t'fucking wind.
1038
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:32,400
let's jizz it out. Just give us
an 'and with t'fucking wind.
1039
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:34,800
I don't want it
coming out of his balls. Ready?
1040
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:36,440
Yeah.
1041
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:38,760
Oh, shit, it's coming back.
It's in my mouth.
1042
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,000
It's gone in my face a bit.
1043
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:40,400
It's gone in my face a bit.
1044
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:43,160
I've eaten him.
I've eaten a bit of Dylan.
1045
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:46,240
Not for the first time.
It tastes handsome.
1046
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:48,000
Come on now. Bring it in.
1047
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:48,520
Come on now. Bring it in.
1048
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:52,600
Give us some bloody love, will yer?
Come on, Erin!
1049
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:55,360
Erin, let's have a minute. Come on.
1050
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,200
Aw, for Dildo.
1051
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:02,040
Sun Hits The Sky #
1052
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,560
Ladies and Gentlemen,
welcome to Dead Dylan Tours.
1053
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:09,920
This is your skipper speaking.
1054
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,000
Say hello, Ashley.
Hello, Ashley.
1055
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:12,200
Say hello, Ashley.
Hello, Ashley.
1056
00:45:12,240 --> 00:45:14,640
Very good.
That's the first joke of the day.
1057
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,520
Hope you're feeling fresh,
fun and fruity.
1058
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:20,000
# I am a doctor
1059
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:20,600
# I am a doctor
1060
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,240
# I'll be your doctor...
1061
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:27,440
Having fun back there?
Scream if you want to go faster.
1062
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,080
# Live for the right things... #
1063
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:46,920
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
1064
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,720
Dickhead. What are you doing?
Stay still. Stay still.
1065
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:52,000
Oh, no. No, no, no. Fuck,
we're literally on the fucking edge.
1066
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,600
Oh, no. No, no, no. Fuck,
we're literally on the fucking edge.
1067
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:00,000
We need to be down that end.
1068
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:00,320
We need to be down that end.
1069
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:02,920
But nobody make
any sudden movements! Cardi!
1070
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:04,640
Cardi.
Stop moving.
1071
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,680
Shh.
1072
00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:08,000
Listen. Any sudden movements,
we're going over.
1073
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,760
Listen. Any sudden movements,
we're going over.
1074
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:13,720
Slowly...
Slowly to the front of the bus.
1075
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:15,760
Really fucking slow.
1076
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:18,760
Erin, really slow, sweetheart.
1077
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,320
It's alright. You're alright.
It's alright.
1078
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:24,000
Come on. Come on. That's it.
1079
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,120
Come on. Come on. That's it.
1080
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,880
Lovely.
It's alright.
1081
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:30,440
Come on. Yeah, yeah.
Slow. Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow.
1082
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:31,960
Really slow.
1083
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,880
Oh, fuck.
1084
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:36,160
Well, that's not good. Shit.
1085
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,200
It's the fucking beer.
1086
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:40,000
It's fucking gonna tip us
over the other end.
1087
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:41,600
It's fucking gonna tip us
over the other end.
1088
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,960
I need to reduce some weight
from down this fucking end. Bastard.
1089
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:48,000
I'm gonna crawl on my belly and I'm
gonna hand shit back, one by one.
1090
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:48,640
I'm gonna crawl on my belly and I'm
gonna hand shit back, one by one.
1091
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:50,200
Fucking hell.
Yeah?
1092
00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:51,520
Oh, God. Be careful.
1093
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:54,240
Oh, shit.
1094
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:56,000
Vinnie, be careful. Go slow.
1095
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,160
Vinnie, be careful. Go slow.
1096
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:04,000
Vinnie, for heaven's sake.
1097
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:04,400
Vinnie, for heaven's sake.
1098
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,400
I can't look, guys.
I can't even look.
1099
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:07,760
I feel sick.
1100
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,320
Come on.
You're grand. You're grand.
1101
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,000
Oh, fuck.
1102
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:12,360
Oh, fuck.
1103
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:26,440
Fucking hell. Shit.
1104
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,000
Just give me a minute.
Just give me a minute.
1105
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:28,600
Just give me a minute.
Just give me a minute.
1106
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:30,120
What? Why?
Come back up.
1107
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:31,840
Where's that fucking joint?
1108
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:34,640
Don't you dare.
Don't you fucking dare!
1109
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:36,000
I just... Shut up.
Fucking getting a spliff.
1110
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:36,600
I just... Shut up.
Fucking getting a spliff.
1111
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:38,560
What are you doing?!
Fucking hell.
1112
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:42,600
I fucking need to think. Don't I?
Just... Just do me a solid.
1113
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:44,000
Move as far back as you can.
1114
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:44,560
Move as far back as you can.
1115
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,680
What now, move back?
I know there's no room.
1116
00:47:46,720 --> 00:47:48,840
Just squidge.
Let's move back a little bit.
1117
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:50,840
Lean back! Lean back!
Just a little bit, yeah?
1118
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:52,000
Are you OK?
1119
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:52,200
Are you OK?
1120
00:47:52,240 --> 00:47:54,320
Yeah.
1121
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:57,280
Alright, where's me fucking lighter?
Fucking hell.
1122
00:48:00,240 --> 00:48:03,040
Oh, fucking shit!
1123
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:08,000
Shit!
1124
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,240
Shit!
1125
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:11,280
# What a way to end it all
1126
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,840
# What a way to end it all
1127
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:20,840
# What a way to end it all
1128
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:23,000
# What a way to end it all
1129
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:24,000
# Goodbye, cruel world
1130
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,160
# Goodbye, cruel world
1131
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:28,200
# And cheerio
1132
00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:30,600
# Through all this time
1133
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:32,000
# I've got to go
1134
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:32,680
# I've got to go
1135
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:35,520
# What a way to end it all
1136
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:37,960
# What a way to end it all... #
83667
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