subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Brassic Season - 6e01

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English Download

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian Download

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish Download

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,960 The following programme contains very strong language and adult humour. 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,360 - What do you wanna talk about? - Betrayal. 3 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,000 Manolito wants our weed. 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:16,480 Manolito wants our weed. 5 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,640 He wants to get rid of the MacDonaghs, divide and conquer. 6 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,480 Listen, Manolito knows. 7 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,800 He knows that you know about him. Be careful. 8 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:24,000 Fuck it. 9 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,520 Fuck it. 10 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,920 Vin. Vin. Vin. Vin. Vin! 11 00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:35,720 A situation has arisen with Vincent O'Neill. 12 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,600 Do whatever you need to do. 13 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:56,000 Money # 14 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,200 Money # 15 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:04,000 # The best things in life are free 16 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,880 # The best things in life are free 17 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,640 # But you can give them to the birds and bees 18 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,000 # I need money # That's what I want 19 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,040 # I need money # That's what I want 20 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:16,800 # That's what I want # That's what I want 21 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,000 # That's what I wa-a-nt # That's what I want 22 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:20,880 # That's what I wa-a-nt # That's what I want 23 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,200 # That's what I want # That's what I want... 24 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,000 Let's have a look. It's erotic. 25 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,720 Let's have a look. It's erotic. 26 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,920 # I need money # That's what I want 27 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,000 # That's what I want # That's what I want 28 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,320 # That's what I want # That's what I want 29 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:42,040 # That's what I wa-a-nt # That's what I want 30 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,000 # That's what I want # That's what I want... # 31 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,320 # That's what I want # That's what I want... # 32 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:08,000 Now then... 33 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,520 Now then... 34 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,440 What the fuck? 35 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,480 Clingfilm? 36 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:32,000 "Ooh, let me see you stretch those legs apart. 37 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:32,600 "Ooh, let me see you stretch those legs apart. 38 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,800 "And bend over." Oh, no. 39 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,360 "Ooh, yeah... Ooh, yeah." Oh, no, please, no. 40 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,000 Dirty motherfucker. 41 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:40,200 Dirty motherfucker. 42 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,040 Go on, stretch it, love. Go on. 43 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,080 "I'm bad news." Oh, God. 44 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,640 I thought the plan were to plant these at Manolito's. 45 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,000 It was, but then we had a really serious upside-downy crash. 46 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,560 It was, but then we had a really serious upside-downy crash. 47 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,120 So, we need a minute now, love. Listen, these minges paintings 48 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,880 need putting on fucking ice, you know.Hang on, hang on, hang on, 49 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:56,000 Whitney Houston, we have a problem. What's the problem? 50 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,600 Whitney Houston, we have a problem. What's the problem? 51 00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:00,240 The problem is thus, Ashley. That fucking massive canvas is not 52 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,600 gonna fit down a tiny little hole, is it?Course it will. 53 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,000 You just need to... angle it in. 54 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:04,040 You just need to... angle it in. 55 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,960 Erin, Erin, it doesn't matter about angling, 56 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,720 it's fucking physics i'nt it, love? Shut up! It's fucking open? 57 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,000 Why is it open? Who left that up? 58 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,000 Stretch and pull. 59 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:12,800 Stretch and pull. 60 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:16,000 "Stretch, stretch it, pull, pull!" 61 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,200 Doors wide open and all the fucking lights on. 62 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,000 Someone's there. What? 63 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:20,400 Someone's there. What? 64 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,520 Someone's in there. It's probably just Jim. 65 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,640 No, look, we've just done big robbery though, haven't we? Carol's right. 66 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,600 Could be a fucking bad man. 67 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,000 Or a woman.Or a trans woman. Do you... Are we having this now? 68 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,360 Or a woman.Or a trans woman. Do you... Are we having this now? 69 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,800 "Yeah, baby!" Go on. Stretch it, pull it. 70 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,000 Hang about a minute, if I'm not mistaken, that there is the sound 71 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,920 Hang about a minute, if I'm not mistaken, that there is the sound 72 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,440 of a faked female orgasm from circa, I'm gonna say, 1983. 73 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,000 Why would a 1980s woman be faking a creamer in the weed bunker? 74 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:44,400 Why would a 1980s woman be faking a creamer in the weed bunker? 75 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:45,840 Creamer? Yeah. 76 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,200 Ugh, oh, my God. Sorry. 77 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,000 Fucking hell. I can't stop it. 78 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:52,760 Fucking hell. I can't stop it. 79 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,080 Don't finish it! 80 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,960 Fucking hell, mate. Ohhh... 81 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,960 Well I can't un-see that now, can I? 82 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,000 Hey, don't try and wank-shame me. You should be terribly ashamed. 83 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,080 Hey, don't try and wank-shame me. You should be terribly ashamed. 84 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:05,000 Be ashamed, you've brought fucking Vaseline. 85 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,760 It's perfectly natural. 86 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,000 Having a wank doesn't make me a bad person. 87 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:08,840 Having a wank doesn't make me a bad person. 88 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,320 It fucking does when you're doing it in someone's workplace. 89 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,360 You've got your lube there and cling filmed up 90 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,360 your own fucking laptop for it. So bad. 91 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,000 I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I'm gonna get a mop 92 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,400 I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I'm gonna get a mop 93 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,200 because I can't have your jizzy smears in my general vicinity.Mm. 94 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,760 Just wiping his hands. It's not nice. 95 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,400 What are you even fucking doing 'ere? 96 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:24,000 Oh, my sister's visiting. Yeah, but it doesn't fucking mean 97 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,040 Oh, my sister's visiting. Yeah, but it doesn't fucking mean 98 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,320 you can just come down 'ere and blow fucking loads 99 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,480 all over the shagging place, does it? 100 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,000 Why have you brought special wank shoes? 101 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:32,760 Why have you brought special wank shoes? 102 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,200 They're not mine. Mine are at home. 103 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,880 You motherfuckers underestimated me. 104 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,040 You decided to cross me... 105 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,960 well now, you're gonna pay. 106 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,640 Oh... Er... 107 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,320 The duckies... 108 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,000 Hiya, love. Hiya. 109 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:04,560 Hiya, love. Hiya. 110 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,960 You alright? 111 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,480 What's up with you now? 112 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:13,760 Poo scenario. 113 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,000 Have you had a poo? 114 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,240 You have had a p... 115 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,000 It's not a problem. It's not a problem. 116 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,360 It's not a problem. It's not a problem. 117 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,760 - Little... Did you...? - Ooh, fuck, whaaa... 118 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,240 Argh, no, wow. 119 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,400 Contain. 120 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,120 Oh, Christ. 121 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,520 Oh, hey up.Hey. It's been a while, hasn't it! 122 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:36,000 You alright?Yeah, I'm alright. Yeah.What's happening? 123 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,160 You alright?Yeah, I'm alright. Yeah.What's happening? 124 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,400 Had my face pissed on a little bit. Didn't know you had a baba. 125 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,000 He's not mine. You remember Sugar, who cleaned your house?Pregnant one? 126 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:44,640 He's not mine. You remember Sugar, who cleaned your house?Pregnant one? 127 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,280 Yeah, that's the badger. I'm just looking after it, aren't I? 128 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,080 Cos she's busy, and JJ, dad, 129 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,000 he's... He's away so... 130 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:52,240 he's... He's away so... 131 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:55,080 Mad, I was thinking about you just yesterday.How come? 132 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,120 Yeah, I'm doing a rat job up at Bletchley Dale and erm... 133 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,000 There's this old fella, Maurice Finch. 134 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:00,120 There's this old fella, Maurice Finch. 135 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,600 I've known him for years, but for some reason, yesterday, 136 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:05,000 he just starts telling me he used to be a career criminal. 137 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,480 Oh, aye, yeah.Some of the mad stories he was coming out with, 138 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:08,000 and I thought you would get a proper buzz outta meeting him. 139 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,880 and I thought you would get a proper buzz outta meeting him. 140 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,440 Fuck yeah, let's do it. I'm bobbing up there after. 141 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,800 When are you dropping the nipper back?Couple of hours. 142 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,000 I can't fucking wait. I bet.Uh-uh. 143 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:16,960 I can't fucking wait. I bet.Uh-uh. 144 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,080 So, this is where retired criminals go, is it? 145 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,160 Bletchley Dale Estate, with your fucking red 146 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,480 1970s Capri out front. Christ. 147 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,000 There we are. 148 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,200 There we are. 149 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,040 Dong ding. 150 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:40,000 Now then.Hey up, Maurice. Vinnie, I were telling you about. 151 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,080 Now then.Hey up, Maurice. Vinnie, I were telling you about. 152 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,960 I'm not, listen... 153 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,640 And there were a fucking bloke, with a tiny moustache 154 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,000 and a bell end for a bell end. 155 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:48,360 and a bell end for a bell end. 156 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,640 Lowry minge paintings? Fucking eh. Yeah man. 157 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,480 So, go on, tell me your game then? 158 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,000 Booze and fags was our bread and butter.Mm. 159 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:56,080 Booze and fags was our bread and butter.Mm. 160 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,000 Back in the '80s, when everyone smoked, 161 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,880 we were smuggling in millions. But I'll tell you this, Vinnie. 162 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,000 Nothing will ever achieve what my grandad achieved. 163 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:04,480 Nothing will ever achieve what my grandad achieved. 164 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:05,920 He was a great thief. 165 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,560 Well, go on then. 166 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,800 Yeah. You can't leave us fucking hanging. 167 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:11,680 You gotta tell us about your grandad. 168 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:12,000 You look like a man who can keep a secret. 169 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,160 You look like a man who can keep a secret. 170 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,600 Fucking right. But you must tell no one.Uh-uh. 171 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,560 Swear on the rat catcher's life. 172 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,000 Don't swear on my life. 110%, swear on his life. 173 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,280 Don't swear on my life. 110%, swear on his life. 174 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,200 Wow. No one loves you anyway. 175 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,840 Fucking hell's bells. 176 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,720 Who's are all these then? I've no idea. 177 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,560 I got 'em from knocking off a trophy shop. 178 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,000 They're all a cover for this bad boy. 179 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,360 They're all a cover for this bad boy. 180 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,560 Where's he going? 181 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:47,200 Oh... But I mean... I'm... What is it? 182 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,560 One of the greatest achievements in the art of thievery, 183 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,000 the original FA Cup. 184 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,240 the original FA Cup. 185 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,000 You're fucking joking. No fucking way. 186 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,320 Stolen on September the 12th, 1895. 187 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:00,000 By my grandfather, Tobias Finch, and three other men. 188 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,240 By my grandfather, Tobias Finch, and three other men. 189 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,960 Rumours of its whereabouts have circulated ever since. 190 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,280 Can I have a...? Can I have hold of it? 191 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,000 As long as you don't drop it. No. 192 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:08,880 As long as you don't drop it. No. 193 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,400 Just be careful. 194 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,560 Woah. Fucking hell, Maurice. 195 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,880 Dude, that is... Oh, my God. 196 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,000 That's insane. 197 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:16,200 That's insane. 198 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,400 Has that been in your family and hidden, this whole time? 199 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,400 How did they get hold of it? Well, gentlemen... 200 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,600 ..therein lies a tale. 201 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,440 Hm. But remember your promise... 202 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:31,000 you can't tell a living soul. 203 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,000 I swear on his life. Don't swear on it. 204 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:32,640 I swear on his life. Don't swear on it. 205 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,400 The actual FA cup. 206 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,000 I have been trusted with that information. 207 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,000 So, I'd like to see the zip gesture, please. Come on. 208 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,520 So, I'd like to see the zip gesture, please. Come on. 209 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,200 How the fuck did they steal a fucking cup? 210 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,480 Oh, it's sick, dude, listen to this shit. So... 211 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,000 It was just past midnight, and rumbles of thunder 212 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,160 It was just past midnight, and rumbles of thunder 213 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,960 disturbed the skies over Birmingham. 214 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,840 Four masked men stood in the darkness, on a flat roof. 215 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:56,000 Above a boot and shoe shop in New Town Row. 216 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,280 Above a boot and shoe shop in New Town Row. 217 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,440 Before smashing a hole in the ceiling. 218 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,520 Two men, one of them my grandfather, 219 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:04,000 lowered themselves into the deserted shop. 220 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,280 lowered themselves into the deserted shop. 221 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,280 And there, mounted on a stand, 222 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,000 was the original Football Association Challenge Cup. 223 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,520 was the original Football Association Challenge Cup. 224 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,880 Now, the question you might ask is... 225 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,200 What's the original FA Cup doing in a shop in Birmingham? 226 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:20,000 Five months earlier, Aston Villa played their arch rivals, West Brom, 227 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:24,000 Five months earlier, Aston Villa played their arch rivals, West Brom, 228 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,000 in the 24th FA Cup final. 229 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,000 Aston Villa kicked off. 230 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:28,240 Aston Villa kicked off. 231 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:32,000 In the very first minute, they won a free kick. 232 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,440 The ball was hit long, eventually gaining its way 233 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,000 to Villa's Captain Chatt, 234 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:36,200 to Villa's Captain Chatt, 235 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,320 who slammed his volley into the top corner. 236 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:44,000 Villa held onto their lead, lifting the 1895 FA Cup. 237 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,040 Villa held onto their lead, lifting the 1895 FA Cup. 238 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,160 They took the cup back to Birmingham 239 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,320 where it was stored in Villa's Perry Barr ground, 240 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:52,000 until a 73-year-old businessman, 241 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,640 William Tillcock... Or was it Shillcock? 242 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,520 William Thrillcock, more like. 243 00:09:56,560 --> 00:10:00,000 He asked for permission to display the trophy in his shop for a week. 244 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,200 He asked for permission to display the trophy in his shop for a week. 245 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,200 And when Shillcock opened up in the morning, 246 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,080 he was horrified to discover that the cup was missing. 247 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,760 The cup. 248 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:13,320 Detectives Mark Brown and Ian Slater arrived to investigate. 249 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,000 Ian Slater as in Ian Slater bums dogs? 250 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,080 Ian Slater as in Ian Slater bums dogs? 251 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:19,600 Mr Shillcock? 252 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:23,200 They inspected the crime scene and concluded that... 253 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,000 They must have scaled that 12-foot wall. 254 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,320 They must have scaled that 12-foot wall. 255 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,280 And he made the assumption that... 256 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:31,000 The evidence suggests it's youths, probably high jinks. 257 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,000 We'll have that cup back before sundown. 258 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,280 We'll have that cup back before sundown. 259 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,320 His optimism was misplaced. 260 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:39,000 Back then, the cup was only worth �20, 261 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,000 but now, after all this time... 262 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,440 but now, after all this time... 263 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,520 ..it's priceless. 264 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,000 Wow. Wow.Wow. 265 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,400 Wow. Wow.Wow. 266 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,520 Are we gonna nick it? No, we're not gonna steal it. 267 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,240 I'm trying to tell you a special tale. 268 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,600 I'm not selling you a fucking job. It is a good story, Vin. 269 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:56,000 I have to go. Got a date with sandwich man. 270 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,360 I have to go. Got a date with sandwich man. 271 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,080 I'm meeting his parents for the first time. Wish me luck. 272 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,520 We have to go as well cos I have a pasta bake in the oven, 273 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:04,000 and we have to watch the last three episodes of Minder. 274 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,160 and we have to watch the last three episodes of Minder. 275 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,360 What's Minder?TV show. We've been binging it, 114 episodes. 276 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,000 I too must attend to my, er, pressing concerns. 277 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:12,600 I too must attend to my, er, pressing concerns. 278 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,040 Why are YOU going? Need I remind you, Vincent, that 279 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,440 I am the proprietor of Hawley's premier entertainment venue. 280 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,000 I thought it was half empty since the other place 281 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:20,720 I thought it was half empty since the other place 282 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,320 opened down the street. Hey. Hey. 283 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,640 Don't mention that fucking shitheap round me, alright? 284 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:28,000 You have a very attractive angry face, do you know that? 285 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:28,040 You have a very attractive angry face, do you know that? 286 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,400 Thank you. 287 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,760 Oh, fucking hell! 288 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:59,200 Jesus. Fucking fuck. 289 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,160 Who you hiding from?Who do you fucking think I'm hiding from? 290 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,200 Stupid old twat. Look, across, 291 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,880 fucking Davey MacDonagh and Donna MacDonagh. 292 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:12,240 Like a little fucking dachshund down there, sniffing round my arse. 293 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,520 German dogs, dachshunds. I know what they are! 294 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:16,000 Rommel had one. Oh... 295 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,760 Rommel had one. Oh... 296 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,400 Aggressive, they are. Right. 297 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,040 And needy. Right. 298 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,520 Prone to obesity. Stop telling me.And chlamydia. 299 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:24,000 I don't give a fuck about fat slaggy dogs with fucking VD, do I? 300 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,240 I don't give a fuck about fat slaggy dogs with fucking VD, do I? 301 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,280 Get me the fuck out of here, dude. 302 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,000 What's in it for me?What do you mean "what's in it for you"? 303 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,120 What's in it for me?What do you mean "what's in it for you"? 304 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,000 What do you fucking want? Four cans of stout 305 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,160 and a packet of Chilli Heatwave Doritos. 306 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,000 Done. That's a good deal. Right, on my mark, wait... 307 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:40,920 Done. That's a good deal. Right, on my mark, wait... 308 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,040 OK, now! 309 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,000 Vin?! I'm coming... I'm... Ugh. 310 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,360 Vin?! I'm coming... I'm... Ugh. 311 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,960 Fucking open the door now! I'm coming. 312 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,280 Fucking outrageous. What's going on? I'm gonna ask you once, 313 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:04,000 alright, and I want a fucking straight answer.Mm. 314 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,160 alright, and I want a fucking straight answer.Mm. 315 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,520 Did you nick the FA cup? What? 316 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:12,000 Don't fuck about with me, Vin. He's been fucking robbed, 317 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:12,320 Don't fuck about with me, Vin. He's been fucking robbed, 318 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,120 and he only fucking told me and you. 319 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,600 When...? When were...? When were this, then?Last night. 320 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,440 Oof. He was with me all night. 321 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:20,000 He got too pissed to walk home. Oh, yeah? 322 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,720 He got too pissed to walk home. Oh, yeah? 323 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,840 Same bed, was it? Mm. 324 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,480 If I was gonna get gay, do you think I'd choose him? 325 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,000 I'd choose someone broad, someone masculine, 326 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,000 I'd choose someone broad, someone masculine, 327 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,120 who works with their hands. And I've thought about this, 328 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,440 I would not swallow. Dude... 329 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:36,000 I tasted me own once, by accident, 330 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000 I tasted me own once, by accident, 331 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,320 and it was like fucking wallpaper paste, 332 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,760 with lumps in it.Fuck... Stop! Go and make a fucking 333 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,000 cup of tea or something, you wretched old bastard. 334 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,240 cup of tea or something, you wretched old bastard. 335 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,760 I mean, right, listen. The whole house has that been robbed, 336 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,520 or is it just the fucking cup? They knew to go to the garage. 337 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,000 They knew where the cup was. 338 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:52,280 They knew where the cup was. 339 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,320 Maurice, he is beside himself, 340 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,320 man he is fucking devastated. 341 00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:00,000 I didn't tell a soul, so who the fuck did you blab to? 342 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:00,920 I didn't tell a soul, so who the fuck did you blab to? 343 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,160 I did tell souls. 344 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,040 You fucking swore on my life, man. 345 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,000 I... Fingers-crossed job, though, when I said it.Fingers crossed? 346 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:08,680 I... Fingers-crossed job, though, when I said it.Fingers crossed? 347 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,760 Don't get upset. If I fucking drop down dead now... 348 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,880 Listen, it's just superstition that. 349 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:16,000 Really it is. Honest to God, Cardi, Carol and them. 350 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,000 Really it is. Honest to God, Cardi, Carol and them. 351 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,280 They're not gonna rob the fucking FA Cup, are they? 352 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,000 Well, someone has, and Maurice thinks it's us. 353 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,840 All that fuss over a tin can. 354 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,800 I fuckin' told him an' all. 355 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,000 I'll tell you summat right now. It's gone and got robbed. 356 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,680 I'll tell you summat right now. It's gone and got robbed. 357 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,520 Yeah? Since I told all you, they think it's me, don't they? 358 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,080 It doesn't fucking sit well. 359 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,000 Listen, I'm going through every fucking one of ya. 360 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:48,680 Listen, I'm going through every fucking one of ya. 361 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,200 Cardi... who have you told? 362 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,360 Why are you starting with me? You're on the end, love. 363 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,800 I have to start somewhere, you know what I mean?I went home, 364 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:56,000 and I watched Minder, with my wife, Carol, who is my alibi. 365 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,280 and I watched Minder, with my wife, Carol, who is my alibi. 366 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,240 He did indeed because the theme tune won't stop playing round in my head 367 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,000 like an "eargasm". Thomas, who have you told? 368 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,160 like an "eargasm". Thomas, who have you told? 369 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,360 Who the mucky fuck would I be talking to about football? 370 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,960 I only know perverts, don't I? That's true. Ashley... 371 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,280 ..who have you told? Not a soul. 372 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,200 I was on a date, sure. What would I be doing 373 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:20,000 telling anyone about an 1895 FA Cup from the- 374 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:20,640 telling anyone about an 1895 FA Cup from the- 375 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,240 Lying high voice. He's going very high voiced. 376 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,160 Very high voiced indeed. Right, OK, fine... Look... 377 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:28,000 I panicked, alright... Get talking. Come on 378 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,000 I panicked, alright... Get talking. Come on 379 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,280 It was the dinner... 380 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,480 with sandwich man and his parents. 381 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,000 They didn't like me from the beginning. 382 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:36,120 They didn't like me from the beginning. 383 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,840 We always wanted grandchildren, didn't we, Stan? 384 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,160 So, there I was, trying to over compensate. 385 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,000 Did you know the original 1895 FA Cup was stolen and not found again? 386 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,840 Did you know the original 1895 FA Cup was stolen and not found again? 387 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,720 Fucking fuck. Did it work, at least? 388 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,560 Yes, Tommo, it did work. His father gave me a brandy. 389 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:52,000 Fuck your brandy! Where does...? 390 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,280 Fuck your brandy! Where does...? 391 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,320 Is his fucking dad the kind of dad that gets dressed up in dark clothes 392 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,400 and maybe break into someone else's fucking house 393 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,000 and rob an ancient trophy of some kind?It's not him, I tell yer. 394 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,080 and rob an ancient trophy of some kind?It's not him, I tell yer. 395 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:05,680 I didn't even tell him the name of the house.You mean to tell me... 396 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,000 that you didn't mention a house on Bletchley Dale Estate. 397 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,080 that you didn't mention a house on Bletchley Dale Estate. 398 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:14,200 No, I didn't say a word about the house, to the daddy, 399 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,000 but I did tell sandwich man, himself.AH! 400 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,160 but I did tell sandwich man, himself.AH! 401 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,280 Oh, Ashley! 402 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,920 Don't start with the "Ashley"! Fucking fucker! 403 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,880 He would never steal an FA Cup or not'in. 404 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:24,000 And I suppose, just putting this out there, 405 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,720 And I suppose, just putting this out there, 406 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,880 I suppose, right, you are in fact his alibi, 407 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,640 are you not, because, you know, you spent the evening... 408 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,000 I'm surmising, making the beast with two backs? 409 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:32,720 I'm surmising, making the beast with two backs? 410 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,680 Well, not exactly, no. What do you mean, "not exactly"? 411 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,680 There was an argument at the end of the night. 412 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,040 Hi, gorgeous. Hi. How's it going? 413 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,240 Great. Well done with the football chat. 414 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:48,000 Thanks. 415 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,040 Thanks. 416 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,680 What are you doing? Two minutes, they'll never know. 417 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,960 We can't... 418 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,320 Two minutes? Yeah. 419 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:56,000 You had sex in his parents' house? 420 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,240 You had sex in his parents' house? 421 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:00,120 I did, in his parents' bed, as well. Dog was sitting there watching. 422 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,400 Fair play to you. Fair play to you. 423 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,680 Oh, up the midfield. 424 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:04,000 Up the midfield. 425 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,200 Up the midfield. 426 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,800 And what about the argument? 427 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,480 That was in the taxi on the way home. 428 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,720 First of all we were sitting there cuddling and then... 429 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,000 You brought the condom out, right, you didn't just leave it there? 430 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,520 You brought the condom out, right, you didn't just leave it there? 431 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:16,920 No. You said you were doing that. The fuck? 432 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,520 I didn't even wanna fuck in your parents' bedroom. 433 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,240 Do you know what's happened here? You've pissed him off. 434 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,000 And maybe he's fucking stolen it out of fucking revenge 435 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,160 And maybe he's fucking stolen it out of fucking revenge 436 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,080 or summat like that.Sandwich man would not steal the FA Cup. 437 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,440 He's our only suspect. In't he? 438 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:36,000 Aww, have you recovered darling? 439 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,400 Aww, have you recovered darling? 440 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,760 He was smashed off his head in here last night.What? 441 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,160 Up on stage, singing karaoke. Karaoke? 442 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,000 Hm, yeah. Did that duet with your brother.My brother? 443 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,440 Hm, yeah. Did that duet with your brother.My brother? 444 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:46,720 Which brother? Niall or Mick? 445 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:47,920 # Cockles and 446 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,120 # Mussels... 447 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,520 # Alive, alive, oh... # 448 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:52,000 - Er, the thick one. - Mick! 449 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,640 - Er, the thick one. - Mick! 450 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:54,720 It's Mick. 451 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,120 Yeah, motherfucker. 452 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,800 Start fucking talking right now. 453 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,000 I don't know nothin' about it. I swear on my Uncle Teagan's life. 454 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,400 I don't know nothin' about it. I swear on my Uncle Teagan's life. 455 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,480 Uncle Teagan's dead. Is he? 456 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:03,880 Yeah, they buried him, anyway. 457 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,360 Christ. Well... Well, all the same, 458 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,840 I don't know anything about any theft of any FA cup. 459 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:08,000 Oh, right. So he told you the story? Oh, yeah. It's a good story. 460 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,760 Oh, right. So he told you the story? Oh, yeah. It's a good story. 461 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,040 That old guy there, on the Bletchley Dale Estate. 462 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,080 Keeping that Cup all those years. 463 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:16,000 But I was too nervous last night to really care. 464 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,200 But I was too nervous last night to really care. 465 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,000 I was only in the pub for Talent Night. 466 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,640 The fuck is your talent? 467 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,680 Stand-up comedy. Gor... Fuck me. 468 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,000 So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means... 469 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,200 So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means... 470 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,600 It's not the end of the world. 471 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,200 Fuck off! 472 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,000 You did this last night at the Crow's Nest?Yeah. 473 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:32,640 You did this last night at the Crow's Nest?Yeah. 474 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,480 Before the karaoke. Who have you spoke to 475 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,280 after fucking blabbermouth here were done with yer?Yeah. 476 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,000 No one, I swear. I came back here, and went I went to bed. 477 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,280 No one, I swear. I came back here, and went I went to bed. 478 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,440 Oh no, no. I stopped off at the chippy. 479 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,440 Oh, fuck, you didn't tell Val and Ian? 480 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,000 No, no, I don't speak with Val and Ian, unless to say my order. 481 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:48,680 No, no, I don't speak with Val and Ian, unless to say my order. 482 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,600 And why not? She has a man voice, 483 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,200 and he's a fucking lady voice. Freaks me out. 484 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,000 - There you go, darling. - 4.50, please, mate. 485 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,160 - There you go, darling. - 4.50, please, mate. 486 00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:00,280 It is strange. Alright, just listen. 487 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,640 You've been to the chippy, you've had your chips. 488 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,000 Right? Who have you spoken to after that? 489 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,840 Right? Who have you spoken to after that? 490 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,480 No one. Thank God for that. 491 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,880 Or did I tell Niall? Fuck! 492 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,560 Carol, what's up? 493 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:12,000 Niall, how's it going? Is it my mother? 494 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,040 Niall, how's it going? Is it my mother? 495 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,760 Oh, no, no, no, no emergency, no. 496 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,400 Just, er... Just thought I'd give my little brother a call, 497 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,000 see how you were doing. Bullshit, Carol. Who's dead? 498 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:20,880 see how you were doing. Bullshit, Carol. Who's dead? 499 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,600 No. No. I just haven't seen you in a while. 500 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,680 Thought we'd meet for an old pint and a catch up. 501 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,320 Ask him where he is? Where are ya? 502 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,000 I am busy, working. Working? 503 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,400 I am busy, working. Working? 504 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,800 Yes, working. I haven't got time to be standing here talking to you. 505 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,400 The ferry to Dublin is now boarding from bay six. 506 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,000 Listen, I have to go. I have to go. OK. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. 507 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,120 Listen, I have to go. I have to go. OK. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. 508 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,520 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Alright.Dublin.Fuck. 509 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,440 Dublin.What the fuck's he gone to Dublin for? 510 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,000 He goes regular, for his poker tournaments 511 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:44,320 He goes regular, for his poker tournaments 512 00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,840 and to off-load counterfeit dollars. Counterfeit dollars? 513 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,560 Yeah. The Irish spend them in New York. 514 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:52,000 So, does he know a lot of dodgy folk in Dublin?The cunt knows everybody. 515 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:52,280 So, does he know a lot of dodgy folk in Dublin?The cunt knows everybody. 516 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,880 He's a right sly bastard. 517 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:55,360 That's exactly the shit he'd do. 518 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,720 How often do the bloody ferries run then?Twice a day, from Holyhead. 519 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:00,000 W-When's the last one? 3:00pm. 520 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,720 W-When's the last one? 3:00pm. 521 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,280 How do you know that? I like ferries. 522 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,920 And I know exactly where he'll go: 523 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,320 Auntie Aoife's. Yeah. 524 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:08,000 Because he's so fucking tight, he would not pay 525 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,240 Because he's so fucking tight, he would not pay 526 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:10,640 for a hotel or a guest house. 527 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,520 He's as tight as a goat's hole going up the side of a cliff. 528 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,760 He'll be at Auntie Aoife's and Uncle Eldon's, 529 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:16,000 the nice little guest house on O'Grainy Lane. Come on. 530 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,920 the nice little guest house on O'Grainy Lane. Come on. 531 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,880 Deceptacon # 532 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:28,240 # Every day and night 533 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:31,240 # Every day and ni-i-ght 534 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,000 # I can see your disco, disco 535 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,880 # I can see your disco, disco 536 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,680 # Dick is sucking my heart of out my mind 537 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,920 # One, two, three, four 538 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:40,000 # You got what you been asking for... 539 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,120 # You got what you been asking for... 540 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,080 ..touch 'em, just left them. 541 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:46,440 No, they didn't stink. They were all kind of... 542 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,000 stained. 543 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:48,200 stained. 544 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,920 Patchy.Excuse... No, they weren't mine, 545 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,240 they were my stepdad's... Excuse me, very important, 546 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,720 important, can you...? I gotta go. 547 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:56,000 Yeah. We want tickets for the Dublin ferry, for all of us and one car. 548 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,920 Yeah. We want tickets for the Dublin ferry, for all of us and one car. 549 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,240 Well, all the car ferries are gone. Eh? 550 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:04,000 There's only a foot-passenger ferry. But it doesn't say on't website. 551 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:04,320 There's only a foot-passenger ferry. But it doesn't say on't website. 552 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,280 Write in. I will.Do. 553 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,720 I fucking will. You should.Fine.Fine. 554 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,000 Jesus... Fuck. Can someone just pay patchy pants here? 555 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:12,320 Jesus... Fuck. Can someone just pay patchy pants here? 556 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:18,880 # Is alright, alright, alright, alright, alright... # 557 00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:23,360 Fuck you, other ferry. 558 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,120 OK, so I'm gonna start. 559 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,880 It's fucking hopeless this, it's shite. 560 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,000 I found out I'm afraid of elevators, so I'm taking steps to avoid it. 561 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,800 I found out I'm afraid of elevators, so I'm taking steps to avoid it. 562 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,760 What's the problem with eating a clock? 563 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,720 Eh? Too time consuming. 564 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:36,000 You'll have to stop. It's fucking shite. 565 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,880 You'll have to stop. It's fucking shite. 566 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,880 Found out my friend couldn't pay her water bill, 567 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,400 so I sent them a get-WELL-soon card. 568 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,000 Oh, my God. Stop fucking encouraging him. 569 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:44,840 Oh, my God. Stop fucking encouraging him. 570 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,960 No one's enjoying it, love. Come on, Michael. 571 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,560 Come and have a minute with us. Be a good lad now. 572 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,000 Hey, how's your mate, Erin? 573 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:52,560 Hey, how's your mate, Erin? 574 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,880 She's fine, yeah. All good. Where is she? 575 00:21:57,360 --> 00:21:59,080 Well now, therein lies a story. 576 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:00,000 Well, go on, then. We've got a... 577 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,120 Well, go on, then. We've got a... 578 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,880 sea crossing to fill, eh? Carol? 579 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,720 What love? UGH! 580 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,000 Jesus Christ. My good fucking coat! 581 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:08,640 Jesus Christ. My good fucking coat! 582 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,200 Sorry. Jesus Christ, like. 583 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,120 Dirty Old Town # 584 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,000 # Dreamed a dream 585 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:16,520 # Dreamed a dream 586 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,360 # By the old canal 587 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,120 # I kissed my girl 588 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,640 # By the factory wall 589 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,920 # Dirty old town... # 590 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,000 Here's your new house now, lads. Look at this gaff. 591 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,080 Here's your new house now, lads. Look at this gaff. 592 00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:35,360 Ooh! Great spot. 593 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,000 Aww fucking stiff as a board in there. 594 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,480 Christ. 595 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,320 Thanks, man. 596 00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:46,640 They're lovely people now, are my auntie and uncle, 597 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,000 but there's a few things you'll have to ignore, OK? 598 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:48,720 but there's a few things you'll have to ignore, OK? 599 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,400 When she's talking, an awful bit of spittle comes out. 600 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,680 Hm.Now and again. But he has a very, very big facial wart, 601 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,000 OK, that the eyes are tend to be drawn to. 602 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:56,800 OK, that the eyes are tend to be drawn to. 603 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,800 But please do not talk into it, OK, 604 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,600 cos he's very, very sensitive about it. 605 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,520 He's also in the closet still, very much. Like, we all know, 606 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:04,000 we're supposed to pretend we don't know. We know. 607 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,000 we're supposed to pretend we don't know. We know. 608 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,320 They sound lovely.You think he's a giver or a taker? 609 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:10,640 He's a taker. No, he takes it. Kids. 610 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,000 Carol, Ashley, Michael. Come in here now 611 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,200 Carol, Ashley, Michael. Come in here now 612 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,080 and give your auntie a big hug. Oh! 613 00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:18,960 Hi, Auntie.Hi, Auntie. 614 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,000 And who are these reprobates? 615 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,680 And who are these reprobates? 616 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,760 Oh-ho, here he is now, Uncle Eldon, are you well? 617 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,000 How you getting on? That's, Vinnie and Tommo 618 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:28,680 How you getting on? That's, Vinnie and Tommo 619 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,600 and Cardi and this is, er, Curtis Plum, Uncle Eldon. 620 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,120 Well, eh, thanks for having us all the same. 621 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,000 Oh, bring it in for a hug. Alright, argh. 622 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,840 Oh, bring it in for a hug. Alright, argh. 623 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,880 Oh! Argh! 624 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,840 - Argh. - Argh. 625 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,000 No more of you. 626 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:44,920 No more of you. 627 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:48,240 Quite the day we're after having. To what do we owe the honour? 628 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,240 We're on our jolly, back in the Emerald Isle, 629 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,000 showing the lads the sights. 630 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:52,280 showing the lads the sights. 631 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,080 You haven't seen our Niall kicking about, have ya?Now, he, er... 632 00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:58,400 dropped his stuff off in room three, said he had business to attend to. 633 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,000 Sound. Room three.Three it is. 634 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:00,280 Sound. Room three.Three it is. 635 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,840 Can we have a look around, maybe? 636 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,000 There you are. There... There you are, 637 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,000 There you are. There... There you are, 638 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,520 - a bit of Schweppes. - Oh... 639 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,280 Well, that's a no, then. Fuck. 640 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,000 I remember Aston Villa's glory days, 641 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,680 I remember Aston Villa's glory days, 642 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,040 not the 1895 ones, 643 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,160 the 1980's European Cup. 644 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,000 Their goalkeeper, Jimmy Rimmer, got a neck injury 645 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,400 Their goalkeeper, Jimmy Rimmer, got a neck injury 646 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,600 and was stretchered off, replaced by a youngster, 647 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,560 Nigel Spink. 648 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:32,000 Ha. With his tight little blue shorts, 649 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,320 Ha. With his tight little blue shorts, 650 00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:37,720 bum cheeks visible. 651 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,000 That's a very visceral image. 652 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:40,840 That's a very visceral image. 653 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:45,240 D-Did Niall say w-where he were going when he went out? 654 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,440 No, you know Niall, 655 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:48,000 always blustering around. 656 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,680 always blustering around. 657 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,000 He used my laptop, though, 658 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,640 asked if he could go on it as he had no data. 659 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,000 Oh, oh. Oh, right, OK. And er, Aoife, love, 660 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,160 Oh, oh. Oh, right, OK. And er, Aoife, love, 661 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,680 might we by any chance peruse the afore mentioned laptop? 662 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,240 Yep, for sure, laptop there. 663 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,000 Right. 664 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:04,520 Right. 665 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,440 Now...Come on, lads. Here you are. 666 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,760 Right. Ah. 667 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,000 The games awaits. OK. Password? 668 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:12,680 The games awaits. OK. Password? 669 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,440 Tonsillitis. Ah! 670 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,920 Fucking hell, love. Like, "tonsillitis" as a password, 671 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,000 why have you got it as a password? I can't even spell it.Exactly, 672 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,280 why have you got it as a password? I can't even spell it.Exactly, 673 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,240 so you'll never guess it. 674 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:28,000 Two Ts, three Is, two S's. 675 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:28,080 Two Ts, three Is, two S's. 676 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:30,200 I sort of, sort of asked for that didn't I, really? 677 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,680 Yeah, alright. Er... 678 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,280 Right, here we go. 679 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,000 We have one search for "how to back", bake, 680 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,600 We have one search for "how to back", bake, 681 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,920 "a light-as-a-fairy cake." 682 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,040 Oh, that was me. That's you, yeah, alright, 683 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,000 OK, and then we've got "Japanese boy wrestling." 684 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:44,520 OK, and then we've got "Japanese boy wrestling." 685 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,400 That was me. 686 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:47,640 Theme emerging, I see. 687 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,160 Ah, and then a search for... 688 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,000 "tanning salon and nail bar. Glow Job." 689 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,480 "tanning salon and nail bar. Glow Job." 690 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,760 Glow Job, is that that place up Tremaine Street, Aoife? 691 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,000 You know, I think it is. Now you mention it, 692 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:00,760 You know, I think it is. Now you mention it, 693 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,200 straight after he used the laptop, he used the landline. 694 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,920 Does your home phone happen to have a redial function on it? 695 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,000 I've never really noticed it. How does she reach? 696 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,600 "This is Glow Job, where the sun is always shining. 697 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,000 "No one here at the moment. 698 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:16,280 "No one here at the moment. 699 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,600 Leave a message, and we'll get back to you." 700 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,240 Oi, oi. Grab-c-Nesbit. 701 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,720 I recognise that voice. It's Mardie Fisher. 702 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,000 Who's Mardie Fisher? He used to be a contortionist. 703 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:24,960 Who's Mardie Fisher? He used to be a contortionist. 704 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,800 Extortionist.Right, whatever. He got into all kinds of bother. 705 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,040 He... It cost him his hair, all the worry. 706 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,000 He used to have lovely long locks, so he did.Right. 707 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:32,280 He used to have lovely long locks, so he did.Right. 708 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,320 so we've got an ex extortionist, bald as a coot 709 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:36,800 but with a criminal past, runs a tanning salon-And nail bar. 710 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,520 And a nail bar, up this Tremaine Street. 711 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,000 Mm.This could be a front for illegal wheeling and dealing. 712 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,040 Mm.This could be a front for illegal wheeling and dealing. 713 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,040 Where's Tremaine Street, then? A couple of miles as the crow flies. 714 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,480 No, we can't go by crow. Be a bit further then. 715 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,000 You can use my car if you like. Your car? 716 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,120 You can use my car if you like. Your car? 717 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,840 There's seven of 'em. Well, they can squeeze together. 718 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,680 Like we did in the Army. 719 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,000 No. 720 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:56,720 No. 721 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,560 My grandfather had a heart of a lion 722 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,000 but a lifetime ban at the local zoo. Dude. 723 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:16,000 Shut the fuck up, Michael. Your jokes are terrible. 724 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,000 Come here, lad. 725 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:20,160 Come here, lad. 726 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:21,720 Fucking hair-do on him. 727 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,080 We're closed. Can you not read? 728 00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,760 I struggle, dyslexic. 729 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:28,000 What about your friends? Can they not read? 730 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:28,720 What about your friends? Can they not read? 731 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:32,280 They're all dyslexic as well. Look, listen, 732 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,960 has Niall Dennings been in here, by any fucking chance? 733 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000 Never heard of him. 734 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:36,840 Never heard of him. 735 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,320 Now give over. Cos we know he's been in there. 736 00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:40,960 We don't want any trouble. 737 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,960 Let us in. We'll have a bit of a chat. 738 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,000 We're closed. Let me have a fucking word with him. 739 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,200 We're closed. Let me have a fucking word with him. 740 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,240 Mr Fisher, I'm Niall's sister, Carol, alright? 741 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,400 Now, he's after being an awful fucking eejit, 742 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,000 and he's also taken something that doesn't belong to him, 743 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:52,760 and he's also taken something that doesn't belong to him, 744 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,920 so you're gonna have to open that door now 745 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,360 or we are gonna start kicking it with our feet. 746 00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:58,800 Get at it. Fucks sake. 747 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,000 Alright, take it easy. 748 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,120 Alright, take it easy. 749 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:04,160 Keep your bollocks on. What a gentleman. 750 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:05,640 Don't Waste My Time # 751 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:08,000 # Remember when you said... # 752 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,240 # Remember when you said... # 753 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,240 OK, let me think. Let me think. It's coming back to me, 754 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,000 coming back to me. Niall... Niall... Oh, yeah, Niall. 755 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,520 coming back to me. Niall... Niall... Oh, yeah, Niall. 756 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,520 He WAS here... Alright. 757 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,000 ..but he just wanted a man facial and...Hm. 758 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,000 And I don't know anything about any stolen items so...Mm. 759 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,320 And I don't know anything about any stolen items so...Mm. 760 00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:27,720 What's in that back room? 761 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,200 My stock and my tanning room. 762 00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:32,000 We're a tanning salon. And nail bar. 763 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,560 We're a tanning salon. And nail bar. 764 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,120 And nail bar. Correct. Listen to me. 765 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,560 I don't want you thinking we're thinking you're untrustworthy. 766 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:40,000 I feel like I really need to check in the back room. 767 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,760 I feel like I really need to check in the back room. 768 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,520 No one goes in my back room. 769 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,200 Unless I invite them in my back room. 770 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,000 Oh...Alright. Well just invite us in, then. 771 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,200 Oh...Alright. Well just invite us in, then. 772 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,600 I won't. There's nothing back there, I've nothing to feel guilty about. 773 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,000 So, you won't mind if we have a little peek then? How about no peek? 774 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:56,760 So, you won't mind if we have a little peek then? How about no peek? 775 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,520 I'm sorry I'm just gonna step in here. 776 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,440 Mardie, love, can you see how your resistance 777 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,000 is making us a little bit more suspicious, about yer? 778 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:04,320 is making us a little bit more suspicious, about yer? 779 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,160 Yous waltz in here, 780 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,000 I don't know yous from Adam, 781 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:09,760 and you demand to see in my back room. 782 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,000 Who the fuck do you think yous are?Mr Fisher, look, 783 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:12,280 Who the fuck do you think yous are?Mr Fisher, look, 784 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,600 we're Niall's brothers, that's Niall's sister there. 785 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,400 These are our mates. Tell us what he was doing here, and that's it. 786 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:20,000 I'm not to telling yer. Yer deaf? We have a fucking situation here, 787 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:20,600 I'm not to telling yer. Yer deaf? We have a fucking situation here, 788 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,400 alright? Now, I'm not leaving this fucking tanning salon- 789 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,000 And nail bar. And the fucking nail bar, Cardi. 790 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:28,000 We can't leave here until we check in that back room, 791 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,320 We can't leave here until we check in that back room, 792 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:35,360 and make sure Niall and/or the stolen fucking item in't in it. 793 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:36,000 I can see the predicament we're in. 794 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,280 I can see the predicament we're in. 795 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,920 Mm. Here's what I can do for yer, right? 796 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,800 None of yous are coming in my back room, 797 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,000 but he did leave a package. 798 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:44,360 but he did leave a package. 799 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,480 I dunno what's in the package, 800 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,760 but I can step back there, alone, 801 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,840 and bring it out to yous. How's that? 802 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:52,000 Or who's to say he's not just gonna fuck off out the back? 803 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,280 Or who's to say he's not just gonna fuck off out the back? 804 00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:58,280 Out the back of my own tanning salon? Leave yous eejits here alone? 805 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,000 Do I look insane? Mm. 806 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:00,760 Do I look insane? Mm. 807 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,120 Do you want the package, or do you not want the package? 808 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:06,000 Fucking go and get that fucking package right now, and quick. 809 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,840 I can't believe it. 810 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,160 He's a full head of long hair. 811 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,000 It's a fucking wig dude. Come on, man. 812 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,320 It's a fucking wig dude. Come on, man. 813 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,080 W-Wig? How's it stay on? 814 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,880 It's stuck to his head, love. 815 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,400 W-What...? W-What...? Well, what if he hangs upside down? 816 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:32,000 Oh, my God. Who hangs upside down? 817 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,240 Oh, my God. Who hangs upside down? 818 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,800 Me, it's good for the brain. I hate to say this, Mick, 819 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,320 I really do. You're not the best advert for inversion, are ya? 820 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,000 What with you being, sorry, but... thick as two short planks. 821 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:40,760 What with you being, sorry, but... thick as two short planks. 822 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:44,720 Tommo, you shut the fuck up. You're as thick as fucking one short plank. 823 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,040 I rest my case. 824 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,400 You wanna see what's in my back room? 825 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,880 Here's what's in my fucking back room. 826 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,000 You lousy fucking poxy bastards. 827 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,160 You lousy fucking poxy bastards. 828 00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,360 Come on you fuckers, yeah! 829 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,280 Get yourselves a lovely spray tan. 830 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,080 Welcome to Glow Job. 831 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:04,000 Oh, I've missed a bit, did I? 832 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:04,960 Oh, I've missed a bit, did I? 833 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,760 Here. Here. 834 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,040 Get some fucking tan lines around that. 835 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:12,000 Fuck me. Grab his fucking arms. You're wanting some of that, do yer? 836 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:12,840 Fuck me. Grab his fucking arms. You're wanting some of that, do yer? 837 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,000 Sabotage # 838 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:18,200 Hold still for crying out loud, will yer? 839 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,000 You better start talking. 840 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,280 You better start talking. 841 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,520 I'm not telling you shit about shit. 842 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,960 You will tell us shit about shit. I'll take your fucking eyebrow off. 843 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,760 Now, did Niall come here or not? 844 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,760 You know what you can do? Go and fuck your mother. 845 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,800 Oh, rude. Oh...Fucking piece of work 846 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,000 Did he try and sell you a trophy? Fuck your Uncle Eldon. 847 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,400 Did he try and sell you a trophy? Fuck your Uncle Eldon. 848 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,920 I tell you what. Thomas, pull his fucking eyebrow off. 849 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,080 No. No. Argh! 850 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:52,000 Gone. Argh! 851 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:52,440 Gone. Argh! 852 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,400 Gone. You look like a fucking idiot. 853 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:58,080 On one side, you're a 50% twat right now. 854 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,000 I'll do the other one. When I run out of hairs, 855 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:03,080 I'm gonna go down there. I do my own genitals. 856 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,680 I'm like a fucking dolphin down there. 857 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,880 Man after my own heart. Fucking weird dude. 858 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:08,000 Alright, Mick, go and smash up 859 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,400 Alright, Mick, go and smash up 860 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,920 all his shit in the back room. We're fucking up your back room, 861 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:13,720 pouring away the shampoos. No!Smash it up. 862 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,240 Pour it all out. I'll talk. 863 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:16,000 No, not the shampoos. No! 864 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,240 No, not the shampoos. No! 865 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,280 I'll talk. I'll talk. 866 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,520 Look in my phone. 867 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:23,480 Where is it? It's in my flaps. 868 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,880 Passcode: 0072. Roger Moore. 869 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:29,600 No, no, no. He was 0073. 870 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,000 George Lazenby, he was 0072. I mean everybody knows that, like. 871 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:32,600 George Lazenby, he was 0072. I mean everybody knows that, like. 872 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,560 Yeah. He was shite. Wasn't even a proper Bond. 873 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,040 Hm. Last calls. 874 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,280 Don Randy? 875 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:40,000 Who the fuck's Don Randy? 876 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,080 Who the fuck's Don Randy? 877 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:44,000 Sounds like sort of, er, mid-level '70s porn star, doesn't it? 878 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,640 Hey. Hey. Who's Don Randy? 879 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:48,000 He's a scary fucker, and you do not wanna mess with him. 880 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,400 He's a scary fucker, and you do not wanna mess with him. 881 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,320 That's who he was meeting here, 882 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:56,000 and that's all I know. That's all I can tell yer. Now, fuck off. 883 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:56,040 and that's all I know. That's all I can tell yer. Now, fuck off. 884 00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:00,640 Listen, what is that there? Is that a bloody five or a three? 885 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,480 It's a three.Well, it looks- No, five. 886 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,000 - Is it?I don't... Fucking try three. - What you gonna say? 887 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,400 - Is it?I don't... Fucking try three. - What you gonna say? 888 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,680 I'm gonna style it out, like a boss. 889 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,520 I'll lay the bait, he's gonna take nibble. 890 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:11,880 You gonna invite him to be in Be My Bitch Volume Seven? 891 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:12,000 - Just shut up, ya gob shite. - "Hello."Oh, shit. 892 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,160 - Just shut up, ya gob shite. - "Hello."Oh, shit. 893 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,080 I'm looking to speak to a Donald Randy? 894 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:19,840 "Don Randy? Do I sound like Don Randy, 895 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:20,000 "you filthy fucking bastard." Oh, I'm sorry love. 896 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,560 "you filthy fucking bastard." Oh, I'm sorry love. 897 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,640 Oh, she's gone. It must have been a five. 898 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,120 Do you think You fucking lemon. Alright. What? 899 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:28,000 Well, I got all geed up for it, didn't I?Give it here. 900 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,360 Well, I got all geed up for it, didn't I?Give it here. 901 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,160 You need to be more zen. You get way too wound about things. 902 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:33,880 You need to be better at fives. 903 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,000 My girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo, 904 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:36,040 My girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo, 905 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,240 so I put my foot down. Michael... 906 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,600 Honestly. 907 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,040 Weird timing.You'll change your tune when I'm famous. 908 00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:44,000 "Hello." Oh, it's the same lady, man. 909 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,160 "Hello." Oh, it's the same lady, man. 910 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,200 "You, you filthy bastard. Paul! 911 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,360 "This pervert keeps ringing me." Don't tell Paul. 912 00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,000 Don't tell Paul, it's an honest mistake, love. 913 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:52,280 Don't tell Paul, it's an honest mistake, love. 914 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,400 My mate's bad at fives. Listen... 915 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,240 someone, put the right fucking number in this right fucking now. 916 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,800 Here, I'll try. No, you fucking won't.Give it here. 917 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:00,000 Give it to me.Here you are.Go on. Fucking thicks, the lot of you. 918 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,400 Give it to me.Here you are.Go on. Fucking thicks, the lot of you. 919 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,920 Yeah? Here you go. 920 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,000 Yes, Carol.Right, go on. Fuck, is it gonna be her again? 921 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:08,280 Yes, Carol.Right, go on. Fuck, is it gonna be her again? 922 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:10,280 - No. No, listen.Shit. - "Hello." 923 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,600 Now then... is that Don Randy? 924 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,640 "Who's asking?" I fucking am. 925 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:16,000 And you are? "Vincent O'Neill." 926 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,480 And you are? "Vincent O'Neill." 927 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:20,360 I have been given this number, 928 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,640 apparently it's the number of a very important entrepreneur 929 00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:24,000 called Donald Randy. "This is his phone." 930 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,680 called Donald Randy. "This is his phone." 931 00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:30,120 Fuck, doesn't answer his own phone, that's classy that. Very classy.. 932 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,000 What's the proposal? I am a marijuana, 933 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,800 What's the proposal? I am a marijuana, 934 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,280 er, botanist. Ooh. 935 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:40,000 And I would like to dis...discuss distribution. 936 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:40,840 And I would like to dis...discuss distribution. 937 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,880 I'll ask. 938 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,560 He's just gone?He's just fucked off. Oh.... 939 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:48,000 - Mr Randy. - "Who the fuck are you, 940 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,400 - Mr Randy. - "Who the fuck are you, 941 00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,000 you perv, ringing my bird asking for John Randy? 942 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,960 Fucking Paul.It's Paul, in't it? It's bloody Paul. Paul, listen, 943 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,920 it were a genuine mistake. My mate's really bad at fives. 944 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,440 It's one fucking number. We're looking for Donald Randy, 945 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,600 not fucking John Randy you turnip. 946 00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:04,000 "Ring again..."Abort."..I'll come over there and cut your cheek out!" 947 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,680 "Ring again..."Abort."..I'll come over there and cut your cheek out!" 948 00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:09,120 Do you know what, man, it's a very strange threat. 949 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:10,760 You don't even know where the fuck I am. 950 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,000 I'm on a mobile phone. Where you gonna come to? 951 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,200 I'm on a mobile phone. Where you gonna come to? 952 00:35:13,240 --> 00:35:14,640 "To where you are." 953 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,840 Fuck me hang on."I'll fucking kill you!"What's going on there, then? 954 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:19,840 Paul, hang on a minute, love. Is it call waiting? 955 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:20,000 What do you press now? Hey up, Paul. Listen to me, love. 956 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,160 What do you press now? Hey up, Paul. Listen to me, love. 957 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,720 your bird's having an affair, in't she? She's cheating on ya. 958 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,320 "Fuck you!"See what's before your eyes. Know what I mean? Chow. 959 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:28,000 - Hello? - "Vincent O'Neill?" 960 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,440 - Hello? - "Vincent O'Neill?" 961 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:32,360 Er, this is his associate, one Mr Shaftner. 962 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:35,680 That's cool as fuck.He'll meet you at midday tomorrow at Duffy's bar. 963 00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:36,000 Bring samples. And sit by the window. 964 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,440 Bring samples. And sit by the window. 965 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,920 We will do exactly that, thank you. 966 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,800 Voila, we have a meeting. Well in. 967 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,000 One spliff I've got left. I were fucking saving it for t'ferry. 968 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,880 One spliff I've got left. I were fucking saving it for t'ferry. 969 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,000 I want you on your fucking best behaviour. None of your nonsense. 970 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:52,200 I want you on your fucking best behaviour. None of your nonsense. 971 00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:54,200 Obviously not. It's big deal, get in there. 972 00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:55,320 Get the fuck in the pub. 973 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,800 Ah ba-ba-ba, you're not going nowhere, you piss head. 974 00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:59,680 You're not drinking- I want a drink.Listen, 975 00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:00,000 it's a very serious situation we're all in. I want you out here, 976 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,280 it's a very serious situation we're all in. I want you out here, 977 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,800 chilling out, we can't go in mobhanded. Fucking give over. 978 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,960 We can't go in mobhanded. Go on, fuck off. 979 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,480 Shite, Vin... 980 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,000 ..there's no window seats left. No, it's alright, we'll just... 981 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,800 We'll just loiter here for a bit. 982 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,320 He specifically said to find a fucking window seat, didn't he? 983 00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:31,800 There's no window seats. 984 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:32,000 Unless we ask one of these starey bastards to move. 985 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,120 Unless we ask one of these starey bastards to move. 986 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:36,920 Why does he want us sat near a fucking window seat, anyway? 987 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:40,000 The demand of a gangster. They need to see people coming in and out. 988 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:40,200 The demand of a gangster. They need to see people coming in and out. 989 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:42,800 I don't like this, Vin. We need to get out of here.Don't be a... 990 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:44,880 No, no, hang on. Stop being a fucking tart, dude. 991 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,440 What if he's correct? What if Niall's got in over his head? 992 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:48,000 What if this a fucking trap? 993 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:48,720 What if this a fucking trap? 994 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,880 What if this fucking Don Randy is, 995 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:54,000 in fact, the Irish Don Corleone? It's not gonna be Don Corleone, 996 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,000 it's gonna be Donald. Donald Corleone? 997 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:56,040 it's gonna be Donald. Donald Corleone? 998 00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,960 Not D... Right, give over now, pair of ya. 999 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:02,120 Look hard.Woah, woah, woah. What? Oh, fuck me. 1000 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,000 Oh, he looks hard.He's a big lad. Oh, he looks like a killer. 1001 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:05,040 Oh, he looks hard.He's a big lad. Oh, he looks like a killer. 1002 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:10,920 Vincent O'Neill! 1003 00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:12,000 Er, D-Don Randy? Vincent O'Neill? 1004 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:12,880 Er, D-Don Randy? Vincent O'Neill? 1005 00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,320 Oh, Don Randy? Pleased to meet you, so I am. 1006 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,680 Alright, then. Oh, get in there. 1007 00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:20,000 Always good to get a new business associate from the UK. 1008 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,160 Always good to get a new business associate from the UK. 1009 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,840 OK.I see all the window seats are taken, maybe we'll get a booth. 1010 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:27,240 Ciaran here'll get us a few pints. You can drink your hole off. Come. 1011 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:28,000 What was any of that? 1012 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:28,960 What was any of that? 1013 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,720 He wants to get a pint to drink our holes off.Gross dude. 1014 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:35,000 Now then, get your laughing gear round that. 1015 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:36,000 Now honestly, that is the finest plant 1016 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:36,960 Now honestly, that is the finest plant 1017 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,120 you will ever fucking smoke in your life. 1018 00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:42,200 What I'm saying is, if you wanna get in the weed business, 1019 00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:44,000 we're good men to get in business with. 1020 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:44,360 we're good men to get in business with. 1021 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:50,680 Ciaran. Go easy, Ciaran, for fuck's sake. 1022 00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:52,000 It's bloody strong. I-I don't touch it myself. 1023 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,200 It's bloody strong. I-I don't touch it myself. 1024 00:37:53,240 --> 00:37:55,480 I like a brandy, like to slip my shoes off at the end 1025 00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:58,840 and I watch a police procedural and sip away at a fine, fine brandy. 1026 00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:00,000 Summat about brandy? He likes a tipple in the evening 1027 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,080 Summat about brandy? He likes a tipple in the evening 1028 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,360 and watches a cop show on telly. Right, yes, yes, now listen, er.. 1029 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,840 Now that your, er, beautiful assistant has parted ways with us, 1030 00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:08,000 perhaps we might pick your brains about a person of interest to us, 1031 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,200 perhaps we might pick your brains about a person of interest to us, 1032 00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:13,440 who you might've run into earlier today. 1033 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,000 And who's that then? Niall Dennings. 1034 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:16,360 And who's that then? Niall Dennings. 1035 00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,000 Why do you wanna know? 1036 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:24,000 He's got something belonging to an associate of ours. We want it back. 1037 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,240 I see. 1038 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:32,000 Yeah, that Niall is fucking idiot, less brains than a slug, 1039 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:32,240 Yeah, that Niall is fucking idiot, less brains than a slug, 1040 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,080 and he owed me money, big, big money. 1041 00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:35,920 Gambling debt. He ran off back to England. 1042 00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:38,960 So, I told Mardie Fisher to tell him, if ever he come back, 1043 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,000 he's gonna lose both his testicles. Testicles. 1044 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,560 he's gonna lose both his testicles. Testicles. 1045 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,880 Mardie called me today and said the gobshite is back, 1046 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,520 but he had my money. I arranged to meet the fucker at Mardie's. 1047 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,000 None of it. Niall owed Don Randy money, 1048 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,080 None of it. Niall owed Don Randy money, 1049 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,720 so Mardie Fisher linked 'em back up again.Right. 1050 00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,320 What's he stolen from yer? The fuck... 1051 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,000 The FA cup. The what? 1052 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:56,520 The FA cup. The what? 1053 00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:00,800 The fuck... The fucking original FA cup, the cunt's got it. 1054 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,400 Have you seen him with it? Trophy? No, didn't see that. 1055 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:04,000 He paid me what he owed me and went. Fuck me.How much did he owe you? 1056 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,160 He paid me what he owed me and went. Fuck me.How much did he owe you? 1057 00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:08,200 Seven grand. Seven... Seven grand, I got that. 1058 00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:09,960 I got seven grand. Where'd he get that? 1059 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,000 He said he got lucky, at Micky Flanagan's sports bar. 1060 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:12,240 He said he got lucky, at Micky Flanagan's sports bar. 1061 00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,960 You know what I think, he's full of shit. Still... 1062 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,040 I got my money, so you know, he keeps his testicles. 1063 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:20,000 Testicles again.We need to get to Mickey Flanagan's sports bar. 1064 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:20,080 Testicles again.We need to get to Mickey Flanagan's sports bar. 1065 00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,880 Alright.Alright, gentlemen. I got bits.Mm.You're a good lad. 1066 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:26,960 Express Yourself # 1067 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:35,240 # Express yourself 1068 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:39,440 # Express yourself... # 1069 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,280 Keep your eyes out. It's gotta... Fuck me. It's gotta be in here, man. 1070 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,000 It's gotta be, gotta be, got.. Oh, my God, 1071 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:44,760 It's gotta be, gotta be, got.. Oh, my God, 1072 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:48,040 It's right in front of us. Dude. Michael, you fucking pleb. 1073 00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,000 Not having a beer. 1074 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:52,000 - Do you know what I mean? - Hello. 1075 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,080 - Do you know what I mean? - Hello. 1076 00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:54,400 It's that badger. 1077 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,480 Fucking it. Uh-huh. 1078 00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:00,000 "This is a life-size replica of the original FA Cup from 1895. 1079 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,080 "This is a life-size replica of the original FA Cup from 1895. 1080 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,760 "The original was stolen and was never seen again." 1081 00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:05,880 Fucking replica? Motherfuckers. 1082 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:07,440 Excuse me, love. 1083 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:08,000 How long's that been in here? 1084 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,280 How long's that been in here? 1085 00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:11,520 No idea, they're always changing stuff round. 1086 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,800 Well, was it here last week, this, duck?Don't think so. 1087 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,000 No? Well, that's fucking it! Innit? I'll tell you what's happened here, 1088 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,720 No? Well, that's fucking it! Innit? I'll tell you what's happened here, 1089 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,440 he's fucking sold it, is what he's done. 1090 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,240 He's sold it to these fuckers. 1091 00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,000 Now they're pretending it's a shagging replica. 1092 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:24,280 Now they're pretending it's a shagging replica. 1093 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,520 You know what I mean? It's fucking real thing, innit? 1094 00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:32,000 Alright, come here. Oi, come here to me. 1095 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:32,240 Alright, come here. Oi, come here to me. 1096 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,880 We're gonna have to nick it back. How?What do you mean "how"? 1097 00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,920 Method. Listen to me. 1098 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:40,000 Hundred year ago, this fucking thing here was robbed seamlessly. 1099 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:40,880 Hundred year ago, this fucking thing here was robbed seamlessly. 1100 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,440 We're gonna do the very same thing. We're gonna come in, 1101 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,640 under the cover of darkness. We're gonna come through the fucking roof. 1102 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,000 Like Maurice's granddad. Can I get a onetime? Come on.Yeah. 1103 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,280 Like Maurice's granddad. Can I get a onetime? Come on.Yeah. 1104 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:52,520 Que Sera, Sera # 1105 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:55,800 # Hey 1106 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:56,000 # Get it set up # Set up 1107 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,320 # Get it set up # Set up 1108 00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:58,960 # 1109 00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:12,000 # When I was just 1110 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,000 # When I was just 1111 00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:16,000 # A little boy 1112 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,600 # I asked my mother 1113 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,120 # "What will I be? 1114 00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:20,000 # "Will I be handsome? 1115 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,480 # "Will I be handsome? 1116 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:23,320 # "Will I be rich?" 1117 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,840 # This is what she said to me 1118 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,000 # "Que-e-e-e sera, sera, sera" # Sera, sera 1119 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:32,280 # "Que-e-e-e sera, sera, sera" # Sera, sera 1120 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,200 # "Whatever will be" 1121 00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:36,000 # Sera, sera # "Will be, will be 1122 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:36,160 # Sera, sera # "Will be, will be 1123 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,640 # "The future's not ours to see" # Sera, sera 1124 00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:43,480 # "Que sera, sera" # Que sera, sera 1125 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:44,000 # "What will be, will be" # Que sera, sera 1126 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:48,120 # "What will be, will be" # Que sera, sera 1127 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,040 # When I was just 1128 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:52,000 # A child in school 1129 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:52,680 # A child in school 1130 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:54,120 # I asked my teacher 1131 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:55,280 # "What should I try?"... 1132 00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,800 # "Should I sing songs?" 1133 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:00,000 # This was her wise reply 1134 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,000 # This was her wise reply 1135 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:08,000 # "Que-e-e-e sera, sera, sera" # Sera, sera 1136 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:08,640 # "Que-e-e-e sera, sera, sera" # Sera, sera 1137 00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,520 # "Whatever will be" 1138 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:12,480 # Sera, sera # "Will be, will be 1139 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:15,960 # "The future's not ours to see" # Sera, sera 1140 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,680 # "Que sera, sera" # Que sera, sera... 1141 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:24,000 # Mamma, will I be a singer? # Que sera, sera 1142 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:27,040 # Mamma, will I be a singer? # Que sera, sera 1143 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:30,640 # Hey, hey, hey, hey # Hey, hey, hey, hey... 1144 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:39,000 # Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey # Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... # 1145 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,720 Black River Swamp # 1146 00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,000 # There's a place... 1147 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:56,440 # There's a place... 1148 00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:02,640 # Where the pine trees... 1149 00:43:04,240 --> 00:43:06,160 # Grow so tall... 1150 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:09,000 No, let me have it a bit more, will yer?Calm yourself, jeez. 1151 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,840 Bloody hell. Will you let me have it a bit more?!No! 1152 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:12,000 Will you let me have it? We're trying to take a photo. 1153 00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,240 Will you let me have it? We're trying to take a photo. 1154 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,080 Careful. Stop.Mick. 1155 00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,640 Let me have it.Oi, eh... Let me have it!Stop, you'll drop... 1156 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,000 Ah, Mick! Awww! 1157 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,480 Ah, Mick! Awww! 1158 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,520 Fucking unreal.No, fuck! 1159 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:25,600 Dude... What's going on? 1160 00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,000 Are you fucking serious, man? Ya fucking...It was Ashley. 1161 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:29,880 Horrible wankers is what you are. What? 1162 00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:33,200 Fucking trophy's gone in the fucking sea.No! 1163 00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:35,840 Oh, Tommo. It was Mick! 1164 00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:36,000 Fucking hell!Fucking idiots. Mind the pints. Three for a tenner. 1165 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,960 Fucking hell!Fucking idiots. Mind the pints. Three for a tenner. 1166 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,320 Maurice is NOT gonna be happy about this. 1167 00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:44,000 Why did the captain leave the ship? 1168 00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:44,560 Why did the captain leave the ship? 1169 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,280 Are you fucking joking? Here's a fucking joke! 1170 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:51,160 It was fucking Ashley. 1171 00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,800 # Down there 1172 00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:00,000 # By the fishing hole 1173 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:01,760 # By the fishing hole 1174 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:06,160 # And the smell of old Black River... 1175 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,000 I've already got one. Oh, no, no, no. 1176 00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:08,640 I've already got one. Oh, no, no, no. 1177 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,720 This isn't the replica, this is the original. 1178 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,160 Original my arse. How's a twat like you got the original? 1179 00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:16,000 I swear to you on my Uncle Teagan's life. 1180 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,320 I swear to you on my Uncle Teagan's life. 1181 00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:20,080 This is from 1895. 1182 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,000 That's the real McCoy. 1183 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,080 That's the real McCoy. 1184 00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:28,040 How much you looking for? 1185 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:31,120 For you... seven grand. 1186 00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:32,000 You can get rid of that replica there 1187 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:32,640 You can get rid of that replica there 1188 00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:35,080 and have the real thing on display. You must be joking. 1189 00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:36,720 This is going in my house. 1190 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:38,240 I don't know how you've got it, 1191 00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,000 but this is sporting fucking history, 1192 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,000 but this is sporting fucking history, 1193 00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:43,920 The replica stays where it is. Mm-hm. 1194 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,960 Right, wait there... 1195 00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:48,000 ..I'll get your cash. Good man yourself. 1196 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,560 ..I'll get your cash. Good man yourself. 1197 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,000 # I can hear them hound dogs howlin' 1198 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:59,480 # I can hear them hound dogs howlin' 1199 00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:03,880 # Chasing that old fox where I used to roam... # 1200 00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:04,000 Where's Vincent? 1201 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,160 Where's Vincent? 1202 00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,600 You motherfuckers underestimated me. 1203 00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:10,320 Well now, you're gonna pay. 1204 00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,000 - Just come and f.. Ugh. - Vin? Fuck! 1205 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,200 - Just come and f.. Ugh. - Vin? Fuck! 1206 00:45:13,240 --> 00:45:15,240 Ah! Put it down, what is ...? 1207 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:16,840 Who else knows about this? 1208 00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:18,800 Unhand me! Oh! Oh! 1209 00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:20,000 This isn't normal, Vin. 1210 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:20,560 This isn't normal, Vin. 1211 00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,560 Christ, I know it's not fucking normal. 1212 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,000 So Much Trouble In My Mind # 1213 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:37,320 So Much Trouble In My Mind # 1214 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,280 # I got so much trouble in my mind 1215 00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:44,000 # I got so much trouble in my mind 1216 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:45,320 # I got so much trouble in my mind 1217 00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:48,480 # I got so much trouble in my mind 1218 00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,000 # Give me the strength to carry on 1219 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:52,600 # Give me the strength to carry on 1220 00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:56,720 # Give me the strength to carry on 1221 00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,000 # Cos everything I got is just about gone 1222 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,960 # Cos everything I got is just about gone 1223 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,400 # And I think about it... # 99331