All language subtitles for A.Texas.Funeral.1999.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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*

(woman)
He'll get nightmares.

(man)
The boy has got to have
a few nightmares to grow up.

Just don't make him
stare too long.

It could be psychologically
damaging at his age.

I won't.
Zach.

I won't.

Come here, boy.

Say good-bye
to your granddaddy.

See?

That's enough.

See?

There's nothing
to be afraid of.

Your granddad
ain't even there.

That's just his shell.

Little Sparta,

now, your granddaddy,
he isn't really gone, honey.

He's--he's with us.

He's with us everywhere,

only he doesn't have
that big old,

heavy body
to carry around anymore.

He's light now.

You see, that's what happens
when people die.

They become light enough
to go to heaven.

Now, that's nothing
to be afraid of, is it?

Now, go on,
go see your aunt Charlotte.

I know she's looking
for you.

[sighs]

Yeah, I'd like to have
a Cadillac like yours.

You got that big v-8
in there?

(woman)
We've been doing a lot
of traveling lately.

[women speaking quietly]

(Murtis) Sparta,
forgive your Murtis.

[sobbing]

Your sweet ear, Sparta.

Your sweet, sweet ear.

Will you forgive
your sugar bush?

Oh, my.

I'll give this
back to you in
heaven, sugarcake.

[man coughing]

[conversations overlapping]

(man)
Oh, no.

Of course, I would never get
a caddy without leather--

Dad.

Those are leather seats?
Oh, yes.

A caddy
without leather seats

would be like
a girl without a beau.

Dad.
Like tits
without nipples.

Dad!

Little Sparta,

could you be quiet
for a while?

Funerals are
a solemn occasion,

and you got to shut up
sometimes.

[gasps]

I want the casket
sealed immediately.

[Jerry Lee Lewis'
Down the road a piece]

* Well, if you want to hear
some boogie *

* Like I'm gonna play

* It's just
an old piano barge *

If it take
that job in New York,

I'll be able to buy you
that caddy you've
always wanted.

Aw, sugar, I wish
you wouldn't do that.

[laughs]

How about that,
little Sparta?

How would you like to have
a big old Cadillac
in the family?

What's the matter with him?
Is he sick?

No...

you told him to shut up
at the funeral parlor,

so he's not talking.

He's angry
with his father.

It's called
passive aggression.

It's what children
do nowadays.

Oh, they do, do they?
They do.

Well, that doesn't sound
very audacious to me.

That's what
we're raising nowadays,

little sniveling, spoiled,
passive offspring

afraid of their own shadows.

If I were to try that
hokey0pokey with my daddy,
you know what he'd say?

Zach, don't say it.

He'd say, "you'd just
better sharpen up,

or else I'm gonna hit you
so hard, you won't be able
to get back up again."

Oh, hell, did I just miss
the turnoff to Miranda's?

It's two more, Zach.

Hey, little Sparta,

you remember your
aunt Miranda, right, spar?

Ask her about Indians.

Aunt Miranda's a big
expert on Indians.

Yeah,
she's a real expert.

(Zach)
Your aunt used
to get up and dance

in them authentic
Indian powwows.

How about a wink
for the camera,
miss cherokee queen?

(Zach)
God, they just
loved her to death.

[knock at door]

(woman)
Miranda?

Yeah?

Your family is here,
Miranda.

Y'all come on in.
(Zach)
Thank you.

Miranda, honey,
you look so good.

I'd kiss you, but I
see you got your lips
all gussied up.

(Miranda)
Oh, that's okay, Zachy.

Mm.

Did you pack yet?

Three days ago.

(Zach)
What in God's name
you got in here, girl?

You know it's only
gonna be one night

daddy goes in
the ground tomorrow.

(Miranda)
Mama tell you
how it happened?

(Zach)
Heart attack, and then he
passed on a week later.

And don't go asking her
about particulars.

She's been acting
a little off-kilter,

and I think
it wouldn't hurt

to give her some time
to sort things out

before we go prying.

We gonna see
the body first?

Well, we thought,
taking into consideration

the way things were
between you
and old Sparta,

that you you'd soon
as well skip that part.

It would have been nice
to see him

at peace for a change.

Come on,
we got to go,

or else the barbecue's
gonna get cold.

Let's go.

Come on.

(woman)
Zach, hold those horses.

Ladies.

(Miranda)
Come on, little Sparta,
your dad's in a hurry.

[Zach grunting]

Why don't you sit up front
with the adults, Mary Joan?

Sparta and I will sit
in back here.

[radio channels flipping]

[man over radio]
Texans are still in shock

over president johnson's
announcement...

I declare a thumb war.

[radio channels flipping]

[Miranda laughing]

[country and western music
playing]

[gasps]

Oh, you got me, spar.

I remember when I could
always beat you.

Now you're
practically a man.

Zach, if you keep on
playing with that radio,

you're gonna have
to get me a room

at that asylum right
next to Miranda's.

I'm just trying to find you
a good station, sweetie.

Goddamn, you're impatient.

"Goddamn"? Is that a word
you want our little Sparta
to be saying?

Our son doesn't talk,
remember?

Isn't that right,
little Sparta?

See?

We got ourselves
a little mute boy.

Is that true?

You don't want
to talk?

Not even to me?

Here we go.

Thank the lord.

You're gonna be
a real heartbreaker

when you grow up--
you know that, boy?

(Mary Joan)
Now, he's not, Miranda.

He's gonna be a gentleman.

I'm raising little Sparta

to just be a gentleman.

Well, gentlemen are the worst
heartbreakers in the world,

because
they just love one woman

and leave the others
to cry themselves away.

Honey, you gonna smoke
in the car?

No, I was gonna ask
my brother, the gentleman,

if he would stop
the car so a lady
could have a smoke.

* Teardrops fall

* Like raindrops

* We make mistakes

* And feel sorry

* When we've made

* Someone blue

* But I've

* Made the greatest mistake

There's Clinton's
new Cadillac.

Amazing what
black gold can buy.

Zach, don't start
with the Whit oil
saga again.

What in God's name
is mama carrying on
about?

Zach!

Zach, you've got help
Clinton with Robert E.

He's gone crazy.

[woman shouting]

He's gonna kill Clinton.

(Clinton)
Whoa!

Come on!

[shouting]

[camel growling]

(Mary Joan)
Honey, be careful, now.

All right, come on, boy.

Calm down, Robert E.

[camel growling]
God! God damn it!

(Zach)
Come on, boy.

Stop!

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
What are you doing?

Good lord, Clinton.

You could have been
killed, honey.

Right before
Sparta died,

Robert E. Started
acting kind of funny.

There you go.

Yeah.

Hank said he'd be by
later to look at him.

(man)
Mrs. Whit?

Oh, that's Walter.

(Zach)
Walter?

I thought he was away at
that colored medical school.

(Murtis)
It seems he didn't
have enough money

to finish the year,
so he's working some.

Hello?

Maybe the boy can
come visit us,
you know, later.

After all, with dinner
and the reading
of the will...

but I invited
him here because
of the will.

Mr. Crawford
says he's in it.

Y'all wipe your feet off.
Y'all wipe your feet off.

Come on in.

Hey, Walter.

Hey, Zach.
How you doing?

Oh, I'm all right.

I'm really sorry to hear
about Mr. Whit.

Yeah, I appreciate
you being here, though.

Come on in.
When did you get
back from school?

(Walter)
Oh, a couple
months ago.

Been driving a baler--
you wipe your feet.

(Zach) Boy, that's
got to be rough with
all that heat we got--

[Clinton clears throat]
Walter, how are you?

(Walter)
Oh, I'm doing very well.

Thank you, Clinton.

(Murtis) Walter,
you have just grown
into a man, haven't you?

New York?

(Mary Joan)
Oh, you've been
talking to Zach.

Yeah,
but New York?

Of all the places.

I love him, but he
doesn't have a lick of
sense in his head.

He's stubborn as all get-go.

Even when
he was a child,

you could take
a switch to Zach,

and he'd turn
right around and--

and just raise cain
all over again.

Murtis, you know
I just ignore Zach.

Oh! Oh!

Are you okay?

Charlotte,
I'm all right.

Anyway,
the only way

we're seeing New York
is on a tour bus.

I've decided that.
Good.

You know, they say
that in New York

you can't go out
at night

or else a Negro will
jump out of a shadow

and shoot you
with a big old gun.

You know, Charlotte,
I don't believe that's true.

Well, Clinton
told me so.

Oooh, that pecan pie
looks lovely. Ha ha!

Thank you.

Oh, I didn't know we were
supposed to bring dessert.

We weren't.
I just did it last minute.

(Charlotte)
Well, if I'd have known,
I would've brought my mousse.

It's a three-chocolate
mousse.

Well, honey, you just
bring it next time.

Y'all need any help?

Oh, no,
we got it covered.

Have you had
your medication?

Twice, so I'd be
doubly sane tonight.

Honey, please don't--
don't do that in here.

It's so nice,
and it smells like pie.

(Clinton)
Power windows,
leather upholstery,

that's all well and good.
That will please the missus.

She weren't born
with much, bless her heart,

but she sure has a taste
for finer things.

I told her, "you listen..."

now, you climb on in there
and sit in that bucket seat.

Huh? Good?

It's nice.

(Clinton)
You like what
you see, Walter?

I sure do.

What's the most
expensive vehicle
you've ever driven in?

M48 tank, crew two,
South Saigon.
[laughs]

[camel bellowing]

You know, you ought
to get yourself
one of these, Zach.

They're not
that expensive if
you don't get one

with all the doodads
in them like I have.

Well, Mary Joan's
been after me

since I-can't-remember
to get her one.

I promised her, if I take
that job up in New York,
I'd see about it.

(Clinton)
New York?

That seems like
the end of the earth.

Are you seriously
considering that?

There's a lot
of opportunity there.

Well, that could be
a good play, though--

you go up north and work
a couple of years

and come back home
with a better resume.

Yeah, something like that.

I figure we'd make
some money

and maybe set
a little bit aside,

not like you and
Charlotte, of course,

but enough that
I can invest a bit
in the stock market.

Stock market?
I wouldn't mess with that.

It's an awful bad time.

You know, there are
a lot of smart fellas

who have been losing
their shirts.

If I were you,
I'd just, you know,
hold on to what you got.

Yeah, well,
if you don't risk it,

you don't drink champagne.

And what if you're daddy
hadn't risked drilling

that oil well out there?

You know, I'm gonna
tell you something.

Money is a funny
thing, Zach.

Now, there's some fellas,
they'll spit on a seed,

they'll grow a forest,
and then you got other fellas,

they'll turn a garden of eden
into a desert.

Yeah, I reckon so.

[faint eerie noises]

[breathing deeply]

[rattling noise]

[thunder booming]

(man)
I've just got
some unfinished business

I've got to look
after here.

Just hang on, now.

Hi.

[laughs]
You didn't think I'd leave

without saying good-bye,
did you?

You know your old grandpa
better than that.

You look none the worse
since I left.

Wish I could say the same
for old Robert E.

Come on over here, will ya?

That's my boy.

[laughs]

Are you surprised
to see me?

Well, I'm full
of surprises.

Let's get started.

There's some old fellas
upstairs chompin' at
the bit to meet you.

Up we go, come on.

Damn it to hell!

Sorry for my language, boy.

I just wish your grandmother
would stop messin'
with my ear.

Come on.

(man #1)
That's ten, Granddad.

Tell him, daddy.

(man #2) You can't
put that down there;
take that back.

I sure can.
Why can't he?

Why--tell him, Dad.

Pop, you--
you taught him.

(man #2)
Yeah, I taught him,

but I didn't teach him
to cheat like that, you know?

And like I'm gonna play this
double deuce right there.

[laughs]

Whoa, he does it
to us every time.

There he is.
There is our boy.

(man #2)
That's our boy.

Little Sparta,

this here is your
great-great-great-
granddaddy, Lucas,

shake is hand.

Enchante.

Boy, he's got a grip.

He's got a grip
as good as mine, boys.

[laughter]

Uh, granddaddy...
uh-huh?

You want to introduce us?

Yeah, I guess so.

This mama's boy here
all dressed up pretty

like he's going
to sunday church,

that's your
great-granddaddy,
Achilles.

Now, he's the politician
in the family.

And this is your
great-great granddaddy,

Jefferson,

he's just ugly.

(Sparta)
Granddaddy Lucas
was the first Whit

in the state of Texas.
That's right.

He was also the first
Whit to recognize

the awesome military
potential of the dromedary.

I wish you would stop
gabbing like a woman.

It's my story.
Let me tell the boy.

Yes, sir.

All right,

This is Hannibal.

He's the first camel
in the Whit clan,

now, I got him

when I was
acting as a spy

during
the Yankee invasion.

For days, I'd been
wandering the desert

without food or water.

My horse had up
and died of thirst,

so I filled my canteen
with her blood to keep myself

from suffering
the same fate.

I'd just about given up
the ghost

when I stumbled upon
an honest-to-God miracle...

[men laughing]

Camels brought from
the holy land by the Yanks

to help move supplies.

And when I saw Hannibal
standing there,

ahhh, I knew God hisself
had sent me the answer

to my prayers.

[gunshot]
Aah!

Yaaaa-hoo!

[men screaming
and gunshots firing]

Ahhhhhhh-ha-ha-ha-ha!

[gunshots]

Whooooo!

*

You see,

the minute I laid eyes
on them critters,

I knew that the camel was
the desert warrior's steed.

(man)
Company halt!

Hold your positions!

[men hooting and laughing]

Yankees.

Here we go, boys.

Charge!

Yaaaaa!

Charge!

Come on, camel!

Charge!

Hey!

Let's get them, boy;
let's get--

come on, you, charge;
get them, now!

Come on, let's get them!

Let's kill some
Yankee, boy!

Captain Whit.

What?

The enemy is
laughing at us, sir.

(man) Are you gonna
charge or not?

(Lucas)
Come back here!

I'll kill ya!

Charge!

Come on! Come here,
you sons of bitches!

Come back and fight!

I lost.

[camel grunting]
Shit.

Shit! Shit!

Hannibal,
did you see that?

They are laughing
at us...

laughing.
Captain Whit.

[growling]

[spits]

Don't you spit at me.
You spit at me?

[spits]

Captain Whit.
What?

You shouldn't really
blame yourself, sir.

Maybe the camel
isn't the desert
warrior's steed.

There is nothing wrong with
the desert warrior's steed!

We just had a bad day,
that's all.

The camel cavalry distinguished
itself in battle,

repelling the northern attack

with only one casualty
among the men.

After the war,
I raised

a whole mess of camels,

but the automobile killed off
the camel traffic in Texas.

Robert E. Is the last.

He's the last of the Whit
desert warrior steeds.

(Mary Joan)
Little Sparta, you want
to come on in the house now?

It's time for supper.

You still ain't
talking, huh?

Well, come on.

Hey, what did I say,
little man?

[chair squeaks]

Hey.

Don't tell me
you're deaf now, too.

[sobbing]

It's rib-time,
everybody.

Oh, okay.

(Clinton)
Pass me another
Dr. Pepper down here.

(Zach) Hey, Mom,
you need some help
with them ribs?

Oh, here she comes.
Oh, my...

enjoy 'em.

This is the last
of Sparta's barbecue sauce.

What you mean
by that?

(Murtis)
I mean...

the recipe
was in his head,

and he's taking that to
the grave, now, hasn't he?

Well, now, that's
a genuine tragedy.
Well, yes, it is.

Mama, sit down here
and enjoy your supper.

(Mary Joan)
Little Sparta, you have
some of those ribs.

Dear lord,

we thank thee

for the joy
that you have brought us

and for the warmth and love
of this family reunion

on this most sorrowful occasion
of our loved one's death.

We pray that
grandfather Sparta

has reached his reward
in heaven

and that he may dwell there
with you in peace forever.

(Clinton)
Amen.

(all)
Amen.

(Charlotte)
We pray that here on Earth

you will protect us
from the cloud of evil

that has descended
upon this planet

raining its drops

of wickedness
to harvest Lucifer's crop,

feeding the incubus
of pestilence

that will devour the Earth.

Amen.

Amen.

A--amen.
Amen.

Well, let's eat these ribs
before Satan come in here

and wolfs them down hisself;
what do you say?

Well, you can deny it and
pretend that it doesn't exist,

but the whole world,
the entire universe,

is descending into chaos.

Oh, Charlotte, I think
that's a little too bleak.

[laughs]
Well, the order's all gone.

I mean, what with, you know,

the communists taking over
the Orientals,

and all the students
that are protesting

and all the Malcolm Xs.

I'm sorry, Walter.

[sighs]
It's not that I don't think

that Negro rights
should be protected and all.

It's just that
all the marching

and the singing and--

it's just destroying the
country for the rest of us,

and I just think
that it's selfish.

Hmm.

The way that young people
are behaving--

and, you know,
they could just be...

animals in a zoo.

(Mary Joan)
Well, you know,

I do have to agree
with you, Charlotte,

because I feel
that good morals

are out of fashion
these days,

and that that's
probably why we have

this V.D. Going around,
because it's God's way of--

of punishing
certain people.

Then lesbians must
be God's children,
Mary Joan.

They hardly ever seem
to get anything.

[laughs]

What did she say?

[whispers]
Lesbians.

This pistol here,

this belonged to your
great-great-great-
granddaddy Lucas.

This is the very gun
he used

to repel the Yankee
invasion of Texas.

[gunshot]

This is Jefferson Whit's
Winchester,

the very gun he used
with Teddy Roosevelt

and the Rough Riders.

[man screaming]

Once, he was captured
and tortured mercilessly

by the enemy,

but old Jefferson didn't
tell 'em a single secret.

Took home the scars
on his face to prove it.

And this
is a little souvenir

that grandpa Sparta
brought back from W.W. II.

He was supposed to lead
a camel supply train

in North Africa,
but instead,
he got rerouted...

to France.

Come on, you rotten
Nazi bastards!

We ain't retreatin'
another foot!

Isn't that right, Caesar?
[groans]

This is the gun
that all Whit men

learn to shoot with.

Granddaddy learned on it.

I learned on it,

and you'll learn on it, too.

Go ahead, boy.

Go ahead,

you can touch it.

All right, then.

[Patsy Cline's
I've got your picture]

* I've got your picture

* That you gave to me

* And it's signed with love

* Just like it used to be

* The only thing different

* The only thing new

* I've got your picture

* She's got you

* I've got the records

* That we used to share

* And they still sound
the same *

* As when you were here

* The only thing different

* The only thing new

* I've got the records

* She's got you

* I've got your memory

* Or has it got me

* I really don't know
but I know *

* It won't let me be

(Charlotte)
Would you like some pie?

Thank you.

Walter, there's been
something

I've been meaning
to discuss with you.

Yes?

You're a Baptist;
is that right?

Oh, yes--yes, Ma'am,
born and raised.

Then you must believe
in sin.

I believe that there
are certain things

that people should
and shouldn't do.

Then you've got
to believe

that God punishes us
for our sins.

Mm-hmm.

Let me
ask you this, then.

Being
a college-educated Negro--

you can tell me honestly.

Just forget that
I'm a white woman and all,

but do you think that
slavery was God's way

of punishing Black people
for something?

Walter?

Walter.
Yes?

You do, then?

I'm sorry.
I do what?

Think that slavery
was punishment

for Negro sin.

For what sin?

Negro sin.

Negro sin, Ma'am?

You know,

all that jungle lust
and everything.

* She's got you

* I've got your memory

* Or has it got me

* I really don't know

* But I know it won't let--

[record scratches]

[clears throat]

Pie's ready.

[laughs]

All those Malcolm Xs
are making it hard

to ignore you sinful Negroes.

I mean, all that
marching and singing.

I mean, they might as well
all be animals in a zoo.

And everybody knows that
you're all born with syphilis.

You hump like bunnies with
all that jungle lust and all.

I mean, that's why God
made y'all slaves, Walter.

[scoffs]

Now, you just forget
that I'm a white woman
and all--

undersexed
and narrow-minded as hell--

and I'll just forget
that you gave up your arm
in that war

so I could stay in
my Goddamn false eyelashes

and lipstick and hairspray.

And while I'm at it,

I'll just forget
that you're gonna be
a Negro doctor.

Best damn doctor in
the county, miss Charlotte.

[tinkling music]

[breathes deeply]

Mm.

[moaning]

[gasps]

Oh! Sparta,
you scared me.

I was just about
to go looking for you.

Come on in, sugarcane.

Your daddy's side of the family
is a whole lot more...

um, colorful
than your mama's side.

You haven't been told
too much about that,
have you?

Well, you should,
'cause you really are a Whit.

You've got all the...
features of the...

Whit men.

Well...

ah, this is
your great-granddaddy,

Achilles Whit.

Old Achilles was Speaker
of the House in Austin,

and everybody knew he'd go on
to be governor one day.

Everything was going his way

until his campaign came
to Huntsville.

How do you like my horse?

(man) Looks like
my mother-in-law.

[laughs]

Ladies and gentlemen,

I will use this key
to the city

to unlocked the awesome
God-blessed future of Texas.

[cheers and applause]

Good to see you.
How are you?

Make sure that one votes
for Whit.

[laughs]

Well, you look like
a good, young

Texas Democrat.

Is that your doggie?
[growls]

Nope.
[laughs]

[barks]
Aaaah!

[all screaming]

(Murtis)
Nobody knew it at the time,

but that evil dog had rabies.

The election results came in,

and your
great-grandfather won.

And they came to him
on his deathbed

to swear him in.

[whispering weakly]
I...will...

That's your granddaddy
and his brother, Franklin.

Now, Frank is your second
cousin Clinton's daddy.

He and your grandfather
raised camels together.

Oh,

that's Otis,
Walter's daddy.

He used to do some work
for your grandfather...

[breathing heavily]

[gunshot]

Until he had
an accident.

It wasn't long
after that

before your granddaddy
and uncle Frank
split the land.

Uncle Frank took all that old,
useless pastureland out back.

And wouldn't know it?

A week later,
he struck oil.

(Frank)
Yee-haw!

To this day, nobody knows
if Frank cheated Sparta

out of that oil.

Sparta never talked about it,
because Frank is family.

Family is family, Sparta.

You're really good
with that.

I hope you don't mind,
but I've been admiring

how well you've mastered
your new hand.

Well, thank you,
Miranda Whit.

It's like anything, I guess--
practice and patience.

[laughs]

You're more comfortable
with that than some folks are

with their real hand.

[laughs]

How come you got
a white man's, if you
don't mind me asking?

Is that what color
that is?

[both laugh]

This is--this is all
the army had left.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Oh, thank you.

Did you kill anyone
in Vietnam?

Yes, Ma'am.

What'd it feel like?

[laughs]

Well, uh...
it bothered me at first.

It bothered me a lot.

Then I guess I kind of
got used to it.

And how'd you do that?

With, uh--well,
you're kind of trapped

in the situation,
you know?

You can't--
walled in.

Yeah, walled in,
walled in, all right.

It takes a while to
figure out the walls
ain't gonna move,

but sooner or later,
you find a way
to get on with it.

[laughs]

Whew.

You ain't much on
small talk, are you?

I save my small talk
for small people.

[exhales]

Do you ever feel like
it's still there,

you know, when you're
lying in your bed

or when you
just forget yourself?

Sometimes
the feeling comes back.

That's what I thought.

I think, when you lose
a part of yourself like that,

something still stays
with you forever.

Yeah, yeah,
I guess you're right.

You know
what you should do?

What?

You should take me
out to the prairie

and make love to me.

[gunshot and glass shattering]

Ha!

Your turn.

Want to switch
rifles again?

No, I don't.

Thank you.

I see you
over there, boy.

It's time you learned
how to fire a rifle.

Come here, Sparta.

Come on,
let's give it a try.

Let's go.

All right,
this will be fun.

Come on,
get up here.

All right,
first off,

get a good stance,
like that, all right?

Now, whenever anybody
hands you a gun,

you always assume
that it's loaded.

You don't put your
finger on the trigger

until you're ready
to fire, okay?

Now, don't hold her
too tight,

or else she'll shake
when you go to fire.

Okay, and just relax.

Relax, or else you're
gonna miss your target.

Okay, get something
in your sight.

Open your eyes up.

You got to see
your target.

What if
that was a deer

or a bird
or something,
and it's moving?

All right.

Now, hold your breath.

Okay, I'm gonna cock
the gun for ya.

[gun clicks]

And squeeze the trigger.

Fire.

Fire.

God damn it, fire.

[gunshot]

I just don't know
where I went wrong
with that boy.

Well...

you know he needs
a hug from his mother

just to get the courage
to breathe.

Sometimes it seems
like he's afraid

of just about
everything.

All I wanted
out of this life

was a son I could take
hunting and fishing.

You know what happened
the last time
we went fishing?

I went to bait with
a live night crawler,

and he ups and starts
screaming and crying,

and he begs me not
to put it on a hook.

It's there corkscrewing
in my hand,

and he's over there
crying over it,

crying over a worm.

I've lost a lot
of sleep over it,

and I still
can't figure out

how he got
so Goddang sensitive.

And I tell Mary Joan
not to put up with it.

She's been to
that woman's college,

and she read all them
child psychology books,

so she thinks
she knows everything
about everything.

It ain't even like
having a son.

Oh, you're wrong
there, Zach.

You're wrong.

He's a fine boy.

You ought to be
proud of him.

He'll straighten up.

He'll turn out just fine.

Besides, there's more to life
than baiting a hook

or shooting a dang gun.

No, but it's a symptom.

It's a symptom.

You know how sharp
life's teeth are.

I just don't want to
see my boy eaten up,
that's all.

[gunshot]

(Sparta)
Hey, partner.

Hop in.

That gun scares you,
don't it?

But the gun
can't shoot itself.

Somebody's got to pull
the trigger, don't they?

Then it ain't the gun
that's got you scared,
is it?

So what all you think
you might do about it?

[gunshot]

Whoo.

(Zach)
I think you owe me
another dollar.

[crickets chirping]

(Crawford)
Let's see,

"my estate...

"all structures,
furniture, and
articles therein

go to my wife
Murtis."

[sobs]

(Zach)
It's all right, Ma.

"To my son, Zachary Whit,
I bequeath

"the amount of $15,000,

"which I assume
he will use

to purchase a
Cadillac automobile."

"May he finally shut
the hell up about it

and get on
with living."

[chuckles]

"to my daughter
Miranda,

"whose delicate nature

"has required
institutionalization,

"I have set up
a trust of $15,000

"for the day
when her physicians

"deem her ready
to reenter society,

"God willing.

"To Sparta,

"my grandson
and namesake,

I bequeath
my gun collection."

[Zach whispering]
Hey, how about that?

"May he proudly
display it

"and forever
cherish the values

"and the peoples
it helped to defend.

"And finally,

"to my nephew Clinton,

"who was born and bred
in the luxury

"of my brother's
oil dynasty,

"I do not try to
leave any monetary
inheritance,

"which would truly
seem as infinitesimal
as drops the ocean.

"Instead,
I bequeath to him

"my secret barbecue
and beef jerky recipes.

"May he savor
the taste and
remember his summers

visiting us on the farm."

[Zach whispering]
Dad's sauce.

(Crawford)
"regarding
Robert E. Lee,

"the last of the desert
warrior steeds,

"upon his death,
rather than having

"his head mounted
in the barn with
his ancestors,

"I request
that he be buried
in the plot

south of my grave,
the north being
reserved for Murtis."

There's a codicil
to the will.

"To Walter foley,

"the son of Otis foley,

"I bequeath
the enclosed letters

"entrusted
to my attorney,

j.W. Croft."

There you go, Walter.

(Walter)
Thank you.

It's a letter
from the dean

of my medical school
at la grange.

It's a...

well, it--
it's a full scholarship.

And there's
a check here, too.

(Crawford)
Precisely.

"I leave Walter foley
the sum of $10,000,

"such capital
to be used

in the establishing of
his first practice."

Why?

Why is he giving
all this to me?

Does old Sparta say
why he gives the boy
the money?

"It is with
unspeakable remorse...

"that I confess

"to the shooting
of his father,
Otis foley,

many years ago."

[Otis gasping]

(Crawford)
"the murder
of Otis foley

"has haunted me
for years.

"Although I realize
nothing can ever
make up

"for the loss
of his father,
I hope my contribution

"to Walter's
lifesaving profession...

"will help temper
the pain

and the bitterness."

Did he say-- did
he say why?

I don't believe it.

Mama, how could daddy
be a murderer?

(Walter) If you'll
all excuse me now.

I think I'll be going.

(Zach)
Walter.

(Mary Joan)
Little Sparta.

I just don't know
what to say.

Neither do I, Zach.

Murtis...

Walter.

Thank you for supper.

*

Whoa, wait a second.

Hang on a second,
partner.

Hey, hey, hey.

I killed him, 'cause
I thought he was trying

to steal your grandma
away from me.

[sighs]

I was caught up in
an uncontrollable
jealous rage.

Jealousy
ain't green, boy.

It's red,
like a red-hot poker.

You'll understand someday
when you take a wife.

Whoa.

[Murtis moaning]

I could suck it
all day long, Otis.

(Otis) You can suck it
as long as you want to,
Mrs. Whit.

Where--where are you?
Oh, God, no!

(Sparta)
Everybody knew I did it,

but nobody ever come after me,
'cause Otis was Black,

and I think they
were all relieved

I didn't shoot
your grandma, too.

I never let any of it
bother me much,

until a while ago,
when I got this dream.

Otis?

[screams]

On the by and by,
a glimpse of redemption

came into my soul,

I realized there was never
anything I could do

to bring Otis back,
but I could sure help
his son, Walter.

Yes, sir,
that I surely could do.

You see,
if you don't untangle

all of these long, dark,
loose threads in life,

they'll all
come together

and form a noose around
your soul at the end.

[sobbing]

[sobbing]

Miranda.

Yeah?

Go back to the house!

Miranda...

Miranda,
what do you want from me?

[camel groaning]

(Zach)
Is he gonna get better?

Walk me to my car, Zach.

Animals have got
to want to live.

Robert E. Is
just ready to--

he's ready
to pass on.

Come on, now,
honey.

It's all right,
really.

Daddy's gonna
take care of it.

Honey?

Sparta!

[gun clicks]

Oh, lord.

Come on, son.

You got to go
with your mother.

Now, go on.

Robert E.
Is in pain, son.

He's in pain,

and we got
to let him go.

Sparta,

we've got
to release him

and let him
go to heaven.

Look at him, Sparta.
Look at him.

[groans]

Sparta,
I got to do it.

You can do what
you got to do later.

But I got
to put him--

later.

[grunts]

All right, Sparta,
you can stay.

There's no point
in you gals staying up.

Clinton and I got to
build a coffin for him.

All right.

Come on, let's
leave them alone.

Good night, little man.

Funny how things happen
in threes.

What?

Things in life,
good and bad, just seem
to come in threes.

First old Sparta dies.

Then we find out
he's a murderer,

and now, Robert E.

You know, three is
a biblical number--

father, son,
holy ghost.

Gosh, I never
much noticed.

Mary Joan, do you think
that when bad things
happen to us,

it's because God
is punishing us

for what we've done?

Well, yes,
I think there's
a scale of justice

in the universe.

I'm so--I ought
to pick that up.

Charlotte, it's
just an old plate.

No, I want--
honey, give me the plate.

I just--'cause I--
because I dropped it.

Honey, I'm gonna
take this.

[sobbing]

Charlotte, what is it?

Can I help you?

[sobbing]

Oh, honey, what is it?

Only God can help me,
and he won't, Mary Joan.

He just won't.

Oh, Charlotte,
what is it?

Mary Joan,
if I tell you,

you got to promise
not to tell.

You got to promise.

Honey, you know
I wouldn't tell

if you didn't
want me to.

I'm barren.

Oh, Charlotte.

I'm never gonna
have a baby.

Are you sure?

We've been trying
for years, but nothing.

What do the doctors say?

Oh, they don't
know anything.

It could be Clinton.
No.

It's me.

No, honey.

I know it's me.

I know it.

Oh, Charlotte.

[sobbing]

Come here.

Shh, honey.

I mean, all I had to do
was give Clinton a boy.

Just give him an heir
to the company.

Shh.

Now he's so disgusted,
he hasn't touched me
in months.

Oh, Charlotte, shh.

It's because
Clinton's daddy

cheated old Sparta
out of all that oil.

Charlotte, no.
It is.

I had a dream,
a divine vision,

and in this dream,
I'm riding a camel

through the planets
and the stars,

and I'm clutching
my boy,

my beautiful baby boy,

the boy I'm never
gonna have.

And I look through
the eye of this needle...

and I see all those oil rigs
that made us so rich...

and I realize I can't ride
my baby into the world,

because Christ himself said
you can't ride a camel

through the eye
of a needle.

And that's
when I figured it out--

that he's punishing me.

And I keep praying,

but he doesn't seem
to hear.

Oh, honey, you just
keep on praying.

[Murtis sighs]

Murtis?

Yes, dear?

Honey, I'm hunting
for some sleeping pills.

Charlotte--
she's a little tense.

Certainly,
there's a whole bottle

in the medicine cabinet.

Thank you.

Murtis, are you
feeling okay?

Only thing left.

What?

It was all just
a misunderstanding.

For years,
I had tried

to fight the awesome
power of the Whit ear.

[moaning]

(Sparta)
Stop it.

[Murtis moaning]

Murtis, stop it.

Get off me.

Finish your breakfast.
Go on, sweetheart.

(Murtis)
Sparta stopped sleeping
with me out of--well, fear.

I had reached a point
of absolute desperation

when the idea came to me.

(Otis)
* My lord, Jesus Christ

Take it; there you go.

There, that-a-boy.

(Murtis)
Otis was--well, they were poor,

and his wife had just
given birth to Walter.

Otis, how would you
like to make $20?

[Murtis moaning]

Oh, I could suck it
all day long, Otis.

You can suck it
as long as you
want to, Mrs. Whit.

Where--

no, Sparta.
No, don't!

Get off me.

Get off!

[gunshot]

[gasping]

[sobbing]

[footsteps slowly tapping]

(Murtis) And then,
with Otis' body still warm

out there in that field...

Sparta tromped
back on up here

and he took me,
forcefully.

No. No.

No. No.

Ohh.

Oh, he just gave me
the best lovin'

I've ever had.

[sighs]

You know, to this day,

I feel shame when
I think about it...

and a kind of
tingling.

And, you know,
it's all because of
that damned Whit ear.

You know what
I'm talking about.

I've seen you look
at Zach that way
sometimes.

I don't think so.

You don't?

Well, what do you
think of it?

Murtis, honey,

I think if I, uh...

understood any of that,
I--I believe I'd be a pervert.

[both moaning]

God, does that
relieve stress.

You're the first woman
I've met that...

smokes during sex.

Why wait?

You really are crazy,
you know that,
Miranda Whit?

You bet I am.

I'm a bona fide
schizophrenic.

Got all my papers
and shots to prove it.

What's it like
in that institution?

Like a man
without a dick. Dull.

Come on, don't be funny.
I'm serious.

Well, it ain't like
any place or anything.

It's--

it's like--
you know that feeling
you get sometimes

when you're sinking
to the bottom of
the coldest ocean

and you're all alone,
suffocating,

a million pounds pushin'
on every square inch
of your body?

Well, someone found
a way to take
that feeling

and turn it into a place,
and that's what that
institution's like.

[hammer pounding]

Oh, I don't need that yet.

You could brace this
for me, though.

[clears throat]

Aah! Shit!

Here, you want me to show you
a better way to that?

I know how to do it.
I know how to do it.

Everyone knows
the basic principles

of hammering, okay?

All you have to do
is put the nail in,

and you just--

shit! Shit! Shit!

You hit the Goddamn nail
in a straight line!

I'm just no good at it.

I guess you never did
much of this kind of work
growing up, did you?

Sure, I did.

I was building things
all the time when I was a kid.

It's just, of course,
now, with the business
the way it is--

oh, I wasn't insinuating
anything about it.

It's just that when
a guy grows up in
a wealthy family,

he usually doesn't get
to do the kind of things
that men usually do.

You remember visiting me
when we were kids?

Yeah, and I remember
playing old maid
in a parlor

a hell of a lot more
than I do playing cowboys
and Indians in the woods.

Now, why don't you
just admit it, Zach?

You're jealous,
and you've always
been jealous

ever since my daddy
struck oil on his land.

His land?

Well, here we go.

Now we see
it all clear as day.

You still got that stuck
in your craw, don't you?

My daddy bought
that land

from old Sparta
fair and square.

And he struck oil on it
a week later.

Did it ever occur to you
that maybe your pa

was so hell-bent
on wasting his life

with a stupid dream of a--
a camel dynasty

that my daddy was forced
to go off on his own?!

Now, my daddy
tried for years

to get old Sparta
to drill for oil,

but Sparta
was too damn stubborn.

That wasn't the way
it got told to me.

Besides,
that wasn't the point.

I was just comparing
our upbringings.

No, you weren't.
No, you weren't.

God damn it, you were
callin' me a sissy.

That's what you
were doin'.

The hell I was!
The hell you weren't!

Maybe I don't know how
to ride a horse.

Maybe I've never been
in a real fight,

but that don't make me
less of a man than you,
Zach Whit!

You ain't never been
in a real fight?

By Jesus,
but I tell you what.

I tell
you what, Zach--

I'm sorely tempted
right now.

Oh, now, easy,
now, Clinton.

Just settle
down here.

Come on, I'm gonna
prove it to you.

What?

Come on, I'm gonna
show you what I got.

Come on.

Let's play toe tickler.

Toe tickler?
Yeah, that's right.

Clinton,
we're grown men here.

Now, why don't we both
just calm down

and finish building
this coffin for Robert E.?

Well, I knew you was
too yellow to do it.

All right.

Let's tickle them toes.

[owl hooting]

(Walter)
So this is where
the Whits end up, huh?

(Miranda)
Not all of them.

There should be
one more,

one more small grave...

for my baby.

Your baby?

Well, it wasn't
a real baby.

It was kind of
a baby-to-be.

You see, his father
was a cherokee brave,

and daddy just
wouldn't let me marry him.

He wouldn't have no half-breed
grandchild out of wedlock,

so I went and gave
myself an abortion.

Funny, I thought that
would make daddy happy,

but after that, he just
kind of froze up on me.

He planted that tree
in the backyard

in the baby's memory.

Not long after that--

I couldn't tell you
how long--

I found myself
in the sanitarium.

Just when I think
I'm getting better,

I go home,
I see that tree,

and suddenly,
I'm sinking to the bottom
of the ocean again.

[sighs]

Sounds to me
like that tree
got a haint on it.

[scoffs]

If I were you,
I'd...

I'd cut the dang
thing down.

Less than this
if you want to win.

[thumps]

Well, you're lucky.

It's just a piece of
your toe, no stitches.

I'll see if I can't
dig up a first aid kit.

Trunk of my caddy.
Here are the keys.

All right,
be back in no time.

You want to explain
this, Clinton?

(Clinton)
This is my home.

Well, this is where
Charlotte and I live.

I got nothing.

Well, what about
them oil rigs out there?

You ever see them pumping?

The damn things
dried up on me.

I just can't
believe this, Clinton.

[laughs]

I have a hard time
believing it myself.

No savings?

Stock market.

Lost everything
trying to win it back.

You got enough to live?

Yeah, well,

not counting what
I lost to you shooting,

I got probably
a week till tuesday.

We were hoping
old Sparta would, you know,

leave us something in
his will, but, you know,

it just wasn't
meant to be, so...

at least you don't have
any kids to feed.

Yeah, I guess we can
be thankful for that.

I ain't gonna tell anybody
about this, Clinton,

not even Mary Joan.

Well, I appreciate
that, Zach.

Well, let's wrap that up
and finish that coffin,

Mr. Toe-tickling
champion.

Come on, gimpy.

If we get drunk now,
we can still be sober

in time to take care
of Robert E.

[laughs]

[saw scraping]

Hey, don't you think
6:00 in the morning

is a little early
for pruning?

You know, cutting it down
is not gonna change anything.

You mean, it won't
change anything for you,

but for me, it's gonna
do a world of good.

Just out of curiosity,
Mary Joan,

when are you
gonna forgive me?

I can't forgive you.
Only God can do that.

I'm not talking
about the baby.

I want to know
when you're gonna
forgive me

for my real sin.

You're not making
any sense.

Now, come on in the house
and get some sleep.

You've always hated me,
long before the abortion.

Don't waste our time
denying it.

All right,
you're not my type.

And why is it, exactly,
you think that is,

that you don't like me?

Miranda, I don't know.

It's not something
concrete

that I can put my finger
on right now.

'Cause I was so pretty.

That's my sin,
and that made you
jealous,

'cause all your life,
you played by the rules,

but on a hot
summer night,

the boys didn't
exactly go looking
for nice girls.

Well, Mary Joan,

maybe it seems to you
that I have danced
with the serpent,

that I have offended
the moral code
and sanctity

of this Godforsaken
stretch of prairie,

but I have paid
a very high price

for whatever I'm supposed
to have done to y'all,

and maybe that ain't
good enough for you.

Maybe you want me
to take my life

to atone for taking
that Indian boy's seed.

Well, I'll look you
straight in the eye,

and I'll tell you
I will not spend
the rest of my life

rotting away
in that asylum,

waiting for
your forgiveness.

So that tree
is coming down,

and I'm gonna
pull out anything bad

that's grown in my heart

until I'm able to
come out and start
living again.

You give me that saw.

I don't think so.

I said give it to me--
you give--

oh!

I only give things up
to boys, Mary Joan,
don't you know?

You want it?
You take it,
okay, honey?

These are
my new slippers.

Now, you go ahead
and give it to me.

You're behaving
like a child, and
you're gonna get hurt.

Yes, I am.

Miranda,
give me the saw.

I'm like one
of those savages you see

in the national geographic.

You want to communicate
with me?

Then you've got to descend
to my primitive,

carnal, sinful level.

Uhh!

Aah!

[both screaming]

Oh, lord.

Miranda, Mary Joan!

Ohh!
[gasps]

[grunting]

[laughs]

[laughter]

[sobbing]

(Mary Joan)
Miranda, what is it?

I didn't have
any abortion.

But I aborted
my baby...

in here.

In here,
I aborted my baby.

I planned on going
to the city and
having it done,

only God
beat me to it.

It just flowed
out of me.

Part of me died,

and it hurt.

It hurt like I've
never, ever been hurt.

Miranda,
why would you say

that you had an abortion
when you had a miscarriage?

Because I didn't.

In my heart,
I killed my baby.

That's why God
took him.

We can't lie to God.

You wouldn't
understand, Mary Joan.

You just
wouldn't understand.

I tried to hold it.

I just kept wondering
if God was punishing me,

punishing me
for loving that boy,

for giving him
all the love I had.

He's not punishing you,
Miranda.

And if he is, well...

then he's an asshole.

Oh, lord. Am I gonna go
to hell for saying that?

Only if God really
is an asshole, honey.

[laughter]

Come on. 12?

12, my butt.

Swear to God.

My butt.

Swear to God.

God.
Well...

I didn't do it
until I was 16.

I'm sorry for you.

[both laugh]

Who with?

Jenny.

The maid?
Yes, sir.

Whew.

Yes, sir, and she was
sweet as peach pie.

[both laughing]

There I was.

I was organizing
my shoe tree,

and then I--I felt
this big old wet lip

right on my ear.

Ahh.

And boom, bang--
I was a man.

[both laughing]

That must've been great.

Hell no.
I was scared to death.

And then when my
man-root got swollen.

[both laughing]

I thought I had tetanus!

[laughter]

I didn't know
what was goin' on.

She went for
the ear, huh?

It's the damnedest thing.

You know what?

I'm gonna tell you
something now

in the strictest
of confidences.

Oh, of course.
Charlotte is
the exact same way.

She'll go
right for my ear.

It's the
God damnedest thing.

Oh, I'm not surprised.
Mary Joan, too.

You know what it is,
don't you?
No.

Didn't your daddy tell you?

Well, I guess
he died too soon.

Well, I didn't find out
about it myself

until I was about ready
to go off to boot camp.

You are truly
a man now, Zach,

so it's time
you should know about
the awesome power

of the male Whit's ear.

Some call it a blessing,
some call it a curse,

but they all agree
on one thing.

There is something
truly mystical

about the ears
of the Whit menfolk

that turns women
into wild,
lustful creatures

with no other thought
than the satisfaction

of their animal urges.

No kidding?

To tell you the truth,
I didn't believe it 100%
until now.

The ear, huh?

Yeah.

It's no wonder
my daddy wore a hat.

God damn.

(Miranda)
Now, pull!

Charlotte, pull!

What in the hell
is that?

Lean into it.

[all screaming]

[all cheering]

(Miranda)
We got it.

Mornin'.

Y'all doing
some gardening?

Oh, just clearing out
a little dead wood.

A man spends the first
half of his life

trying to understand women

and the second half trying
to forget what he's learned.

(Clinton)
Uh-huh.

Women.

[camel lowing]

He's in pain, son.

He's in pain,

and he wants to die.

(Jefferson)
You'd like to help him,
wouldn't you?

Well, there's only
one way you can.

You know what that is,
don't you?

Look at Robert E.

[groans]

The answer
is in his eyes.

*

[gunshot]

Oh, honey, get a little
sleep before the funeral.

What is it?

Zach.

It seems like we tell
a lot of white lies
in this family.

Only thing-- a white lie
can turn mighty black

if it sits in someone's
head long enough.

Honey, what brought
all this up?

Mary Joan,

you think I'm fit
to run this family?

Because it's all on me
now that daddy's gone,

and I want to know
what you think.

I think this family
is lucky

to have a man
of your character
looking over us.

Now, why would you
ask me a thing
like that?

Sometimes...

I get the feeling
you don't think
too much of me.

Don't get me wrong.

I think that you
love me and all.

It's just that sometimes
I think you figured

you married beneath yourself,
and you did.

Look at you.
You're so pretty.

[laughs]

You got
a college education.

You could have done better,
and that's the truth.

Honey, I married you,
because I saw
a genuine hero,

and I still see one.

Now, how long
have you been thinking

about all this nonsense?

Mostly since
daddy's gone.

Zach, did I do
something to make you
feel this way?

If we stay in Texas...

we're always gonna drive
an old car,

and you'll be buying
your dresses in the basement
of some thrift store,

and maybe if little Sparta
does start talking again,

I ain't gonna be able
to send him to college.

Honey, what are
you talking about?

[sighs]

I'm gonna take
that job up north.

We're gonna move
to New York.

Well, honey, you know
whatever decisions
you have to make,

I'm gonna stand
behind you 100%.

Really?
Really, honey.

[laughs]

(Zach)
Little Sparta, could you
be quiet for a while?

(Sparta)
Little Sparta,

this here is your
great-great-great-
granddaddy, Lucas.

(Lucas)
When I saw Hannibal
standing there...

(Murtis)
Old Achilles was speaker
of the house in Austin,

and everybody knew he'd
go on to be governor.

(Sparta)
That gun scares you,
don't it?

(Murtis)
Family is family, Sparta.

(Sparta)
Look at Robert E.

The answer
is in his eyes.

[gunshot]

Hey, wake up, boy.

*

It's real sad, I know.

But I'm so proud of you

for doing the right thing
by Robert E.

Climb up, partner.

Let's go for a ride.

All right.

Oh, look at that, boy.

This is Texas.

This is your
real inheritance.

You know why Texas
is so damn hot?

Because so many
Whit men came here

and raised
so much hell.

Maybe that's where
we made a little
mistake, you see.

Instead of raising
so much hell
all the time,

we should have
reached up and tried
to pull down

a little bit of heaven
every now and then.

Do you understand?

[laughs]
No.

Well, let me put it
this way.

Life is an ornery camel,
little Sparta,

and it will drag
your sorry ass

through the most
Godforsaken deserts
on earth.

The trick
is to hold on tight,

and if you do that,
that nasty critter

might just give you
the ride of your life.

Well, this part of
our journey is coming
to an end together.

There's just
one last thing.

Listen up, now.

I want my ear back.

Now, wait a minute!
Don't get scared.

It's my ear, damn it,
and I want it back.

Is it a deal?

Come on, partner.

That's my boy.

Thank you.

Well, I'm about out of
surprises, little Sparta.

Now, just remember,
you've got a burning drop

of every Whit
that's ever lived
flowing in your veins,

and you got fire
in your heart.

Use that fire

to forge one hell
of a wonderful life
for yourself,

and every now and then,
you just remember
your grandpa

with a little prayer,

and I'll be right there
with you.

How'd that be?

Let me give you
a kiss good-bye.

(Zach)
Sparta!

Come on back, son.

Your grandmama's fixing
you breakfast.

Let's go, mama!

Daddy's about to
arrive any second.

About gave up
the ghost on you two.

Well, we overslept.

I'll be darned.

(woman)
Thank you, dear.

[people speaking softly]

*

[man speaking indistinctly]

[together]
Amen.

(Murtis)
Little Sparta...

[gasps]

Was that
your granddaddy's ear?

Well, it's back
where it belongs...

thank God.

Dang thing
about drove me crazy.

Appreciate you taking
Miranda back.

It's my pleasure.

Where in hell is she?

Take good care of
yourself, Miranda.

You hear? Look me up
when you surface.

I certainly will.

Best of luck to y'all.

Hey, Clinton, you take
good care of that caddy.

[laughs]
Okay, I will, Walter.

Zach.

Be good, Walter.
Will do, will do.

Bye!

Bye, y'all.
Bye, Walter.

That Negro's a pistol,
ain't he?

That Negro's gonna be
a doctor.

Someday he may save
your life.

You know, the world's
a-changing, ain't it?

Come on, Clinton,
I got something for you.

Now, you know I love you,

and you know I'll be
thinkin' about you
every day.

[baby talk]

Now, you tell
your mama and daddy

to come visit me here
for Christmas.

'Cause if I have to go up
to New York,

I'm just likely
to freeze to death.

Don't you think it's time
you started talkin' again?

See you around.

Oh, you don't have
this kind of money, Zach.

Well, thanks to
the inheritance, I do.

Well, I'm--
I'm truly touched, but I--

hey, Clinton,
oil wells may dry up,

but blood is forever.

Now, don't argue.

Well, you just can't give
this kind of money away.

Well, I didn't
exactly say I was
giving it to you.

[laughs]

There's, uh...

there's something I'd
like to buy from you.

Bye, Murtis.
(Charlotte)
Bye-bye.

(Zach)
Bye, Mama. I love you.

*

Sugarbush, I got
some good news
and some bad news.

What is it?

The bad news is, you're
gonna have wait a while
for that Cadillac.

Honey, you know
I don't care about
any old Cadillac.

Hey.

Hey, hey, hey!

You get your lips
off my ear right now!

What's got
into you, woman?
[laughs]

You're just so cute,
I can't help it.

Well, I heard that before.

Oh! You did? What's
the good news, honey?

The good news is,
we're gonna have

that famous
Whit barbeque tonight.

Hell, we can have it
any night we want.

'Cause I made a deal
with Clinton.

"Hell"? Is "hell" a word
you want him repeating?

He don't repeat anything!
He's a little mute boy.
Right, Sparta?

The hell I am!

Hey, you're talking again.

Well, I'm glad to see
that's over and done with,

but don't you ever let me
hear you cursing again,
or else I'll--

I'll stop
if you'll stop, Daddy.

What?

Well, all right,

but let's shake on the deal.

Whoa.
Oh!

[laughs]
Little Sparta.

[laughter]

(Zach)
Boy, you about
as stubborn as heck.

You can thank your
mother's side of
the family for that.

(Mary Joan)
Stubborn as heck?
You're stubborn--

hey, keep your hands
on the wheel.

(Zach) I got my hands
on the wheel.

Let me drive.

*

Thank you, Robert E.

I sure didn't want
to make this trip alone.

[camel chuffing]

[camel lowing]

[camel growling]

[patsy cline's walking dream]

* A walkin' dream

* I dreamed about you

* A walkin' dream

* Can't do without you

* Lovely dream

* Just can't forget you

* 'cause you're so dreamy,
peach 'n creamy *

* Walkin' dream

* Now keep on a walkin'

* Keep on a talkin'

* And I'll do my best
to make the rest *

* Of this lovely dream
come true *

* A walkin' dream

* I want you near me

* Walkin' dream

* Can't you hear me

* A lovely dream

* Won't you love me

* 'cause you're so lovey,
turtle dovey *

* A walkin' dream

**

* A walkin' dream

* My heart is yearnin'

* Walkin' dream

* My lips are burnin'

* A lovely dream

* Of love I'm learnin'

* Cause you're surprisin'
tantilizin' *

* Walkin' dream

* Now keep on a walkin'

* Keep on a talkin'

* And I'll do my best
to make the rest *

* Of this lovely dream
come true *

* A walkin' dream

* I want you near me

* A walkin' dream

* Can't you hear me

* Lovely dream

* Won't you love me

* 'cause you're so lovey,
turtle dovey *

* Walkin' dream

* 'cause you're so lovey,
turtle dovey *

* Walkin' dream

**