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I'm Dennis.
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I live in an ordinary house in an ordinary street
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in an ordinary town.
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But I feel... different.
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I go to an ordinary school.
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But I feel different there, too.
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Put him on an amber alert.
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Thank you.
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Ah - Lisa James. The serial offender.
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Shall I measure her skirt, Mr Hawthorn?
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Lisa James is the coolest girl there.
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She's always trying to bring some style to the school.
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- IN FRENCH ACCENT:
- Dennis?
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Que voulez-vous acheter dans le magasin?
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Um...
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Une voiture?
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SCATTERED LAUGHTER
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Mais, c'est une boulangerie!
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Nous ne vendons pas de voiture dans une boulangerie.
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Ecoutez, Dennis. Ecoutez. Isabel?
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De... je pain
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Du. DU pain, oui. Du pain, du pain.
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The teachers moan that I'm always daydreaming.
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Saturdays are the best, cos that means football.
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- All right, Darvesh?
- Yep.
- Hi, Jaspreet. Is that a new dupatta?
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Yes, thank you Dennis, it is. Oh, you always notice things!
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Wish my son would notice things like that.
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ENGINE STARTS I notice you're embarrassing.
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WHISTLE BLOWS
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CROWD SHOUTS
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Football is the one thing I'm good at.
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Go on, Dennis!
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The one thing that's mine.
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Yes! Goal!
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But I still don't feel like I fit in.
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Dad doesn't come to watch any more.
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But these days he has got a lot on his plate.
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FIGHTING SOUNDS FROM TV
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Oh! I'm knackered just watching that lot.
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Sausages are a bit burnt.
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And I forgot to put the hob on for the peas, but they'll soon melt.
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Things aren't easy in my family.
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It was better when Mum was around.
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HE COUGHS
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When you were with her, you felt like anything could happen.
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Come on, everyone! Don't be boring!
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Then, one day, it did.
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She left.
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After she'd gone, Dad burned every single picture we had of her.
50
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But I managed to save one.
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- What you doing?
- Ssh!
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But Dad being Dad, he couldn't resist cooking some sausages at the same time.
53
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I suppose I wanted to escape to some magical world.
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And I found it in the most unexpected place.
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SHOP BELL JINGLES
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FEMALE VOICE WHISPERS: Dennis!
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Dennis!
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Boys can like Vogue too, you know...
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Ahem!
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33 seconds. That counts as browsing.
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Just Match and... (Vogue.)
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Uh-huh.
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Vogue!
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- HE CHUCKLES
- The fashionista's Bible.
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- SHOP BELL JINGLES
- An unusual choice for a 12-year-old boy.
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Raj, I need to be getting home, so...
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Come to think of it, I've never had a boy your age buy Vogue.
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It's a Christmas present. For my auntie.
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Oh, oh, oh! Then you will need a card.
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- A card?
- Uh-huh. To go with the present.
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I have Santa, a snowman, reindeers,
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"with deepest sympathy"...
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- No, no, no. That's not right.
- The Santa one is fine.
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Then you will want wrapping paper and sticking tape,
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and - oh, oh, oh! - a gift tag.
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That is £9.
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HE SNIFFS
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Come on, Dennis. Strike a pose.
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SONG: Come Fly With Me by Michael Buble
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# Come fly with me Let's fly, let's fly away
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# If you can use some exotic booze
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# There's a bar in far Bombay
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# Come fly with me Let's fly, let's fly away... #
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- Dennis?
- MUSIC STOPS
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- What you doing?
- HE SNIFFS
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Nothing. Just...thinking.
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What?
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You know how when we were little, we'd dress as pirates and Daleks?
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Yeah.
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Don't you sort of miss that?
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Nah. Got better things to do now.
92
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Like hang around outside the offy?
93
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Nah. That's boring. We hang around outside the Pound Shop.
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HE SNORES
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See you later! See you very soon. SHE LAUGHS
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- BOTH SHOUTING: It's a party!
- I'm not 18 years old!
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- Why did you agree to have a party?
- You're acting like I'm not here!
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Think it shrunk a bit.
99
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- There you go.
- Thanks, Dad.
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Right, now. The lorry's being serviced today, so I've got a bit of time.
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I was going to fix that leaky pipe in your room.
102
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- Where you going?
- Forgot my maths book.
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KNOCK AT DOOR
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- Hiya, Peter!
- Hi, Jaspreet.
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Dennis'll be down in a sec.
106
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Oh! Not too soon, I hope. I do so enjoy our little chats.
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Dennis!
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Any sec now. Just...
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- Dennis!
- FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS
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Get down here! Here we are.
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Hiya. Bye, Dad.
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All the best. Thanks for taking him again.
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Oh, no. Not at all, Peter.
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And if you need anything, just call.
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Anything at all, day or...night.
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Oh. Yep.
117
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I'll just, er...
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(There we are, then.)
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See you later!
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HE EXHALES
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Yeah, I'm the captain.
122
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Chief goal scorer, so I take all the penalties.
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He takes all the penalties.
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BALL THUDS REVERBERATE
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Why do we have a school uniform, Miss James?
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To keep the nylon factories going, sir?
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Because a uniform ensures discipline and without discipline...
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Chaos ensues.
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Miss Price, I am capable of finishing my own...
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Sentences.
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Sorry, Mr Hawthorn.
132
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Oi, Simms! Think you're clever, don't you?
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I'm just practising.
134
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Well, let's see if you've improved, then.
135
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Hit that can.
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THUD!
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RICOCHET PINGS
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CLANG!
139
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I expect everyone at this school to be dressed immaculately at all times.
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RAPID CLANGS
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MISS PRICE GASPS
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HE STAMMERS
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STUDENTS WHISPER
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Ssh! Quiet, please. This is a detention, it's not a discotheque.
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CLOCK TICKS
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What are you in for?
147
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Kicked a ball through the Head's window.
148
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That was you? Respect.
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- What's your name?
- Dennis Simms.
150
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- John's little brother?
- Yeah.
151
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- I'm Lisa.
- I know. You're a legend! You're the coolest girl in school.
152
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I love the way you dress. Every day there's a new little twist and...
153
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Don't worry, I'm not obsessed.
154
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No, no. You don't sound it at all(!)
155
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Vogue!
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That's not mine. I don't know how that got there.
157
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Can you get on with your work, please?
158
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I'm trying to buy some Christmas present...
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I meant - I'm doing marking.
160
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I thought I was the only one round here who read this.
161
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You are, cos, like I said, it's not mine.
162
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- You into haute couture or pret-a-porter?
- I'm easy.
163
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You're new to all this, aren't you?
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Don't Pret make sandwiches?
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SHE LAUGHS
166
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But some of that stuff is too mad to wear, surely.
167
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And there's a cardigan on one page and it says it costs £300.
168
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That has got to be a mistake?
169
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So many questions, young Hobbit.
170
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And there was one dress, and it had shoulders out here.
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I mean, how can you get on the bus in that?
172
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Oh. Well, this is my house. Bye.
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Oh, OK.
174
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Bye.
175
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So, you'll come round Saturday, then?
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- What for?
- To learn.
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Everything.
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Where are you going?
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To Lisa James' house.
180
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Oh, yeah. And I've got a date with Rihanna(!)
181
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Hey.
182
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All right? Come in. Fancy a drink?
183
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Why not?
184
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Champagne cocktail?
185
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You're underage.
186
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Um Bongo?
187
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- That's gorgeous!
- Classic Dior. Look at this from the '70s.
188
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You see how the lines are all the same?
189
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Now, this is Italian Vogue. My favourite.
190
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- You'd look amazing in that.
- Wouldn't anyone?
191
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My mum loved to dress up. She always looked great.
192
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What happened to her?
193
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She ran off with this guy who's got his own roofing company.
194
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Granny says they've got a baby together now.
195
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- I'm sorry.
- Me too.
196
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Now I live in a house full of blokes.
197
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It's just so boring and grey sometimes.
198
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Can I show you something?
199
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Wow! Who made that?
200
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Me.
201
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I'd do it at school, but the Head won't let us do fashion tech.
202
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How am I meant to be a designer if I can't even get any qualifications?
203
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It's beautiful.
204
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Maybe...
205
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you should try it on?
206
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,000
What? No!
207
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- Go on, try it on.
- I can't do that.
208
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Who's going to have a problem with it?
209
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,320
Well, let's see -
210
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my dad, my brother, the Head, the football team,
211
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oh - and everyone else I know.
212
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Not me.
213
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I don't think there should be any rules.
214
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I think we should all wear...
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whatever we like.
216
00:14:56,040 --> 00:15:01,400
Yeah, but whoever heard of a boy in a dress?
217
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,800
- We've got the Christmas things from out the shed.
- Oh, right.
218
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Thought we could all do the tree together.
219
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I used to do that with your mum.
220
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I was on tinsel, she was on baubles.
221
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Let's do it later, yeah?
222
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,280
Why don't you come to the semifinals?
223
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- Can't remember the last time you saw me play footy.
- Oh, I can.
224
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She came, too.
225
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It was just before that...
226
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so-and-so came to fix the roof.
227
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- KNOCK AT DOOR
- I'll get it.
228
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:54,640
Hello?
229
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Lisa.
230
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Yes, John, it's me.
231
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SHE SIGHS Is Dennis in?
232
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- Who?
- Your brother, Dennis.
233
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,200
Oh, yeah. Wait there.
234
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HE COUGHS
235
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He's out all day, but I'll tell you who's here, and that's me.
236
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Little accident?
237
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,680
I thought we could hang around outside the chippy?
238
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Throw things in the canal? Whatever you want to do, babes.
239
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Oh, look - he's back.
240
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- You ready?
- Sure. See you later.
241
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,640
Raise your game, son.
242
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SEWING MACHINE WHIRS I've got something to show you.
243
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,000
Really?
244
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:07,840
Do you like it?
245
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,200
- I love it.
- I've been working on it all night.
246
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I need to make a few adjustments.
247
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,120
Will you... put it on?
248
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,760
- Put on the dress?
- Yeah.
249
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,560
Oh. Unless, of course, you really don't want to?
250
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No, no! I mean, if it helps you out...
251
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"COME FLY WITH ME" ECHOES FAINTLY
252
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HE LAUGHS
253
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,680
Why are you laughing?
254
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,440
You look incredible.
255
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,240
- How does it fit?
- Perfectly!
256
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,480
So, who did you make it for?
257
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,160
- You!
- What?!
258
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:02,640
Oh, I'm not stupid. I can tell you really wanted to wear one.
259
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,440
And you could totally pass for a girl,
260
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,680
with a few extra little touches.
261
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,040
- Do you really think so?
- You could go out in that.
262
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,520
Where?
263
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:15,920
- I dunno. Down the street? Into town?
- How about Raj's shop!
264
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,280
You would get away with it, I swear.
265
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:19,600
Yeah, but...
266
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,480
..we aren't actually going to do it, are we?
267
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,600
I'm scared.
268
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,760
Just be confident. The world is your catwalk.
269
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,200
This isn't a good idea. Raj knows me.
270
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,680
He knows Dennis. He's never met Denise.
271
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,880
- Who's Denise?
- SHE SIGHS
272
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,280
SHOP BELL JINGLES
273
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,440
Aha, Lisa, my favourite customer!
274
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,720
Who is your new friend?
275
00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,600
This is my French exchange... person. Girl. Student.
276
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,640
- HIGH VOICE:
- Bonjour.
277
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,160
Je am... Denise.
278
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,960
Wilkommen! My shop is famous around the world.
279
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,200
Surely you've heard of it?
280
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,600
Non, Monsieur Raj.
281
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,760
You know my name! You must have!
282
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:23,520
How about commemorative postcards to send to your family back in France?
283
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,880
- They're blank.
- Yes, I know.
284
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:29,200
You can draw British landmarks on them with...
285
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:33,120
this set of colouring pens, priced just £4.99.
286
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,880
We'll just take this magazine.
287
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,240
RAJ CHUCKLES
288
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,360
Now, Denise, before you leave,
289
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:43,280
you must try our traditional British delicacies.
290
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,920
These Twixs came in fresh this morning.
291
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,160
Non, merci.
292
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,800
Le Munch De Monster, s'il vous plait.
293
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,440
Excellent choice, senorita.
294
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,360
- Bye, Raj. NORMAL VOICE:
- Bye.
295
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:00,440
- HIGH VOICE:
- Au revoir.
296
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,400
Ciao!
297
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,840
Peter. Perfect Peter.
298
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,160
Peter the poppet.
299
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,360
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper.
300
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:11,840
Wh-what exactly do you want?
301
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,680
Yeah, is Dennis ready for the semis?
302
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,600
- Well, he's...
- Do you know, Peter,
303
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:21,240
every time I pop by and accidently peep through your windows,
304
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,840
I can't help thinking that this house could do with a woman's touch.
305
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,920
- He's...
- So I've bought you some scatter cushions.
306
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,800
And a couple of photo frames.
307
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:34,200
And oh, look - who's this?
308
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,520
He's out. With that Lisa James girl from school.
309
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,920
I will find him. Stay strong.
310
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,640
SHE MEOWS
311
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,720
- That was hilarious!
- I know! So, when do we do it again?
312
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,040
How about never?
313
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,400
- What about the shopping centre? Tons of people there.
- No!
314
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,560
Lisa, where's Dennis?
315
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,880
The semifinals!
316
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,480
Er, Dennis?
317
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,800
He said to tell you, if I saw you,
318
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,760
like, um, I'm seeing you now,
319
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,520
to say that he...
320
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,600
will be home in five minutes.
321
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,200
Well, come on!
322
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,920
How can anyone run in these?
323
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:11,800
All right, speedy!
324
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:17,480
Where were you?
325
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:18,920
Doing weights.
326
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,240
Are you a fan of the rap music, Dennis?
327
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,560
Just say no.
328
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,880
MUSIC: Holiday by Dizzee Rascal
329
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,000
SHE RAPS ALONG
330
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,440
..come and see me.
331
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:41,960
..see me.
332
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,160
..so easily. Ooh...
333
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,920
Please, don't do that.
334
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,320
Eh eh eh-eh!
335
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,200
Look at him!
336
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,920
Oh, go back to Hogwarts.
337
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,480
Darv, is it weird wearing a patka on your head?
338
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,240
Nah, it's just a Sikh thing.
339
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,360
Yeah, I know, but you're the only boy at school who wears one.
340
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,640
It's no big deal.
341
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,440
And it would be boring if we were all the same, wouldn't it?
342
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,520
So, you're playing St Kenneth's.
343
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:23,320
Private school, state-of-the-art sports facilities,
344
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,960
and, let's face it, a better gene pool.
345
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,760
Now, on paper, things don't look very good...
346
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,240
..and, looking at you now, it's a lot worse.
347
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,840
You're always out of breath, you've got chubby legs,
348
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,600
and most of you are still waiting for your growth spurt.
349
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,480
Sorry, son, it's been and gone.
350
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,040
Right, come on. Put your hands in the middle.
351
00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:53,200
Now lift them up.
352
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,880
- ALL:
- Whoosh.
353
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,600
That's supposed to help. I've got no idea how.
354
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,000
Come on, then.
355
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:10,960
Whoo! Come on, football! Oh! Oh! Oh!
356
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:16,280
- It's tails.
- Yes! Won the toss.
357
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,720
Once again, the captain leads from the front.
358
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,200
Gareth, we were all talking about penalties...
359
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,480
I'm the captain, I'm taking them.
360
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:25,760
Change ends!
361
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,000
WHISTLE BLOWS
362
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,240
Dennis.
363
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:56,320
To me.
364
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:58,680
Good luck.
365
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:06,960
Come on, Gareth!
366
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,400
WHISTLE BLOWS
367
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:27,640
CHEERING
368
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,400
WHISTLE BLOWS
369
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,920
Bad luck!
370
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,080
Strike it!
371
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:47,160
Yes!
372
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:53,560
What's happened?
373
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,200
We won.
374
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,000
- Really?
- Yes.
375
00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,400
Pretty good.
376
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,400
You should stick to quidditch.
377
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,360
Dad! We won!
378
00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:16,080
That's great. Well done.
379
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:22,040
So you didn't get a chance to put up the tree?
380
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:24,480
Oh. Sorry, son.
381
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:29,600
We're not doing Christmas this year. I just can't face it.
382
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:33,640
Dad, sometimes I think you choose to be miserable.
383
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,480
- Dennis!
- He does!
384
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,320
It's like you made a rule - you can never forget about Mum.
385
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:39,760
Well, it's not that easy.
386
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,640
- You have to break the rules sometimes.
- You can talk!
387
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,760
- What?
- He's got a picture of Mum under his mattress.
388
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,440
Bring it here now.
389
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,360
I thought I said no reminders of your mum in this house.
390
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:34,840
- But, Dad...
- This is going in the bin where it belongs.
391
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,200
It's my only one.
392
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,680
I don't care.
393
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:47,600
I'm going out!
394
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:03,880
KNOCK ON DOOR
395
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,800
Dennis?
396
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,640
- Are you OK?
- I want to wear the dress again.
397
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,680
What? Go back to Raj's?
398
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:18,240
No. I want to do something much bigger. Something crazy.
399
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,640
How crazy?
400
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,120
Really crazy.
401
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,480
MUSIC: Crazy In Love by Beyonce feat. Jay-Z
402
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:52,960
Who's this?
403
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,360
My French exchange student.
404
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:58,920
Bonjour.
405
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:00,280
Je m'appelle...
406
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,320
Denise.
407
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,600
She's from Paris.
408
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,760
I thought all the exchanges were from Marseille.
409
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:11,640
She's from Rue de Paris in Marseille.
410
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:17,560
Even if she is, nobody enters this school, of which I am the secretary,
411
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,840
without written permission.
412
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,320
Oh, I cleared it with the Head.
413
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,960
Then let's go to the office and check.
414
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:26,320
Now.
415
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,320
Sure. No problem.
416
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:34,000
I mean, it will look like you're questioning his authority,
417
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,800
but you know best.
418
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,040
Lisa James, you can talk to me until you're blue in the face,
419
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,560
but none of that is going to change the fact that I've
420
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:45,760
just decided it's all fine.
421
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,400
Off to your lessons.
422
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:52,800
How long are you staying?
423
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,960
Cool bangle. Is it from France?
424
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,800
Is it hard having to speak French all day?
425
00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,160
Non.
426
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:00,600
Sit down, shut up.
427
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:06,520
You're new.
428
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,080
She's from France.
429
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,160
Oh, bonjour.
430
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,560
No, that's all I've got.
431
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,720
I'm Mr Norris.
432
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,560
I teach PE,
433
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,560
but they also make me take history.
434
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,480
You know much history?
435
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:24,680
No.
436
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,600
Good. Then you'll fit right in.
437
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:30,840
Start of the First World War. 1914.
438
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,640
The Prime Minister
439
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,640
was Winston Churchill.
440
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,960
Gareth. Gareth Small.
441
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:45,600
Captain of the football team.
442
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:46,920
Bonjour, Gareth.
443
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,280
Je too enjoy le football.
444
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,320
So, do you score all the goals?
445
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,080
I can't lie, babes. Yes, I do.
446
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,920
Yeah, he does. What of it?
447
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,840
Because I heard it is a boy called...
448
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:02,760
..Dennis.
449
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,040
Don't know who told you that.
450
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:05,560
Yeah, who told you that?
451
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:07,000
Everyone says it.
452
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:11,600
Yes, they say you are the one who miss all the penalties.
453
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:16,240
No, no, babes, I'm the star player. You must come and watch a game.
454
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,640
Don't come and watch a game.
455
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:20,040
Come on, Gareth!
456
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:26,760
Hey, Denise!
457
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,680
- Denise!
- Hey, Denise!
458
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,080
- This is just the best.
- I know.
459
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,400
- Dennis?
- Sh!
460
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,240
- What on earth are you doing?
- I'm just being someone else for the day.
461
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,080
- Are you nuts?
- It's fun.
462
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,360
It's not going to be fun when everyone finds out.
463
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,760
- You'll never live this down.
- Only you've recognised me.
464
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:57,760
So far! You've got to get changed.
465
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,800
Relax! I've got it all under control.
466
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:07,720
So, what's next?
467
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:10,960
Double French.
468
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,960
What? I'm getting out of here.
469
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,240
Bonjour!
470
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,760
- ALL:
- Bonjour, Madame.
471
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:24,680
- -oiselle.
- -oiselle Windsor.
472
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,040
Asseyez-vous.
473
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:31,800
Et vous, qui etes-vous?
474
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,200
Who are you?
475
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:41,240
This is Denise, she's my German pen pal, Ms.
476
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,120
I thought you said she was from France.
477
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,320
Good point. Thank you.
478
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,480
French pen pal.
479
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,640
Ah, soyez la bienvenue!
480
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,760
Quel grand plaisir
481
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:03,680
de vous accueillir parmi nous dans notre humble classe!
482
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,760
C'est tout simplement merveilleux!
483
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:09,080
J'ai tellement de questions a vous poser.
484
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,360
De qu'elle region de France venez-vous?
485
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,680
Comment sont les ecoles dans votre region?
486
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:17,480
Quel est votre passe temps favori? Que font vos parents?
487
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,920
Faites nous part de vos premieres passion de l'Angleterre?
488
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:28,920
May I speak in English for one moment?
489
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,120
Yes, of course.
490
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:35,360
How can I put this, how you say, politely?
491
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,320
Poliment! Poliment!
492
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,040
- Madame Windsor.
- -oiselle.
493
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:46,160
I am very sorry, but I am not understanding
494
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:47,920
anything you are saying...
495
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,520
..because of your very poor French accent.
496
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:52,560
LAUGHTER
497
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,160
Do you need a tissue?
498
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:09,400
I'll be fine. I've just got something in my eye.
499
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:12,960
I'll step outside for a minute. My eye. L'oreille!
500
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:18,680
SHE WEEPS HYSTERICALLY
501
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:22,360
BELL RINGS
502
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,040
What was all that about?
503
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,200
Ms Windsor's one of the nice ones and you totally humiliated her.
504
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,560
You could have told me you had double French today.
505
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,080
I forgot. Sorry.
506
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,080
- There's nothing I can do now.
- Look out!
507
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:35,600
I don't know where he is.
508
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,440
He left the house this morning before me.
509
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,000
Bunking off, I presume.
510
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,960
That's not like Dennis. I'm worried about him.
511
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,160
I shall have to call your father.
512
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,280
Just let me have a quick look round first?
513
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:00,120
What do you think you're doing?
514
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,040
Coming over here, stealing our boyfriends?
515
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,000
I am not liking le Gareth in that way.
516
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,200
Girls fight over me all the time.
517
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,720
- ALL:
- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
518
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,560
CROWD GASPS
519
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,280
Oh, my days.
520
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:23,600
Dennis?
521
00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:34,600
Silence!
522
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:47,400
You.
523
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,920
- The boy in the dress.
- Sir, it's not his fault, I...
524
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,360
I said, silence.
525
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,760
Would you care to explain yourself, boy?
526
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,400
Why did you come to school today dressed in a...
527
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,000
..dress?
528
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,080
Don't know, sir.
529
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:19,280
"Don't know, sir."
530
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:23,440
You are expelled!
531
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:24,880
GASPS
532
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,080
- But, sir...
- There are no buts, boy!
533
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,800
But, Mr Hawthorn, you didn't expel Karl Bates
534
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,880
and he ate the school goldfish.
535
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:34,200
You are on a final warning, Lisa James.
536
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:39,080
Please, sir, I don't want to let my friends down.
537
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,600
It's the cup final on Saturday.
538
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:46,200
But, Dennis Simms, you will not play on Saturday
539
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:47,520
or any other day.
540
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,440
You are no longer a pupil at this school.
541
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,160
Leave the premises at once.
542
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:18,880
Expelled?
543
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:21,440
For wearing a dress?
544
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:24,200
And a wig.
545
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,960
Oh, and some earrings.
546
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,840
I'll never wear a dress, so you've only half failed.
547
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,520
Why?
548
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,560
I just want to know why.
549
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,880
I guess...
550
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:47,240
..it made me happy.
551
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,120
Go to your room and do your homework.
552
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:57,440
I've been expelled. I haven't got any homework.
553
00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,040
Then just go to your room.
554
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,560
You can check my cupboard, if you like.
555
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,600
Just jeans and hoodies and...
556
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,000
KNOCK ON DOOR
557
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,480
He can't talk to you now, Darvesh.
558
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:21,200
Please, can you tell Dennis he's still my friend?
559
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:22,520
Your son always stuck up for me
560
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:25,120
and it's very important he knows that, whatever's happened,
561
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:26,560
he'll always be my friend.
562
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:33,520
PHONE BUZZES
563
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,480
Right, you're getting home-schooled from now on.
564
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,160
- But it's Saturday.
- I don't care.
565
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,640
I've circled Deal Or No Deal. That's your maths.
566
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,240
Pointless, general knowledge.
567
00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:18,440
Antiques Roadshow, history, and I want them all watched
568
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,880
by the time I get back from the depot, thank you.
569
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:25,000
TV ON QUIETLY
570
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:29,960
Oh, no.
571
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:32,320
Peter!
572
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,200
Can we please talk about Dennis?
573
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,000
You've got between here and the lorry.
574
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:39,360
Dennis is... He's such a special boy.
575
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:41,440
I do hope you're not being too hard on him.
576
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:43,600
What if it was your son who went to school in a dress?
577
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:47,840
Oh, I don't think Darvesh would go to school in a dress.
578
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:49,680
He'd probably wear a salwar kameez.
579
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,560
Yeah, all right, a salwar kameez!
580
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:54,440
Well, you know, I'd...
581
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,000
Well, I'd...
582
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,880
See! You wouldn't like it either.
583
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:00,520
Peter, please, listen!
584
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,760
No, you listen to me for once!
585
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,840
All right, these are my boys and I'll bring them up my way.
586
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:08,240
And I don't need your stupid scatter cushions
587
00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:10,480
and I certainly don't need your advice.
588
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,800
But you love your son whatever he does.
589
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:16,400
Don't you?
590
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,760
- ANNOUNCER:
- The Under-16s School Cup Final will kick off in 15 minutes.
591
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,320
15 minutes to kick off.
592
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:46,160
If they're under 16, then I'm Angelina blooming Jolie.
593
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,600
Mr Hawthorn, I need to talk to you about Dennis.
594
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:02,840
Lisa James, I am not interested in your pleading.
595
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,760
- But, sir...
- One more word and I will expel you too.
596
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:13,840
So, here we are. Cup Final day.
597
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:15,720
- ALL:
- Yes!
598
00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:20,480
All right. I want you all to remember what got you here.
599
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,120
Luck
600
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,920
and a lad in a frock who got kicked out.
601
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:32,360
Now, the other lot, they've won the Cup the last three years
602
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:35,280
and I'm going to be honest -
603
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,280
they play dirty.
604
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:42,640
They'll hack you down, they'll elbow you in the face.
605
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:48,480
I'm just glad it's you and not me out there.
606
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,560
But remember one thing -
607
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:54,520
win or lose, you made it to a cup final,
608
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:57,080
which looks great on my CV.
609
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:58,800
Now get out there.
610
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:01,680
'With their main weapons knocked out of commission,
611
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,200
'the platoon now faced a far superior enemy force.
612
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,200
'The odds seemed insurmountable.'
613
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,080
Hiya, gang!
614
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,640
Got some bad news for you.
615
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,000
The referee has sprained his ankle.
616
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,520
Now, the stand-in referee's cat's died
617
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:31,760
and he's very upset. Sad face.
618
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:36,960
But the good news is you've got me! Yay! Happy face!
619
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,400
Now, I don't know if you know me. I actually teach drama.
620
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:42,320
To be honest with you, I don't know a huge amount about football,
621
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:46,920
but I've seen a couple of games on TV and how hard can it be?
622
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:50,440
Right. Heads or tails?
623
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,280
Heads.
624
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,720
Oh, heads it is!
625
00:42:54,720 --> 00:42:57,920
Elm Forest to serve!
626
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,640
Oh, exciting!
627
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,120
Come on!
628
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:16,360
GROANS
629
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:20,000
HE SIGHS
630
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,400
We've got no chance without Dennis.
631
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,280
Shut up. We don't need him.
632
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:35,960
'With no protection offered by the inexperienced commander,
633
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,720
'the platoon was quickly crushed by the superior firepower
634
00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:41,600
'of a German Panzer division.'
635
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:52,520
Red card!
636
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,440
Now, that wasn't nice, was it?
637
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,000
Say sorry.
638
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,040
Sorry.
639
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:02,240
Good boy. Now, deep breath.
640
00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:04,000
Let out the anger.
641
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:07,600
Oh.
642
00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:35,120
It's a massacre. You're the captain, do something.
643
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:36,160
You're right.
644
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,680
You boys are bringing shame on us all.
645
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:43,880
We need Dennis.
646
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,200
Get back out there and play, Gareth Small.
647
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:55,440
'Without reinforcements, defeat was imminent.'
648
00:44:58,880 --> 00:44:59,960
WHISTLE BLOWS
649
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:04,680
And that's the game. Well done, gang.
650
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,040
It's half-time!
651
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:09,600
Sorry. My mistake. Interval!
652
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,800
The score is four points to nil.
653
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:13,680
'The troops were on the verge of surrender,
654
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,680
'but, at the last minute, a message arrived.'
655
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:17,440
PHONE BUZZES
656
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,080
HE SIGHS
657
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:41,120
Going to miss the Bake Off at this rate.
658
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,200
WIND WHISTLES
659
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,200
MUSIC: I Want To Break Free by Queen
660
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:03,520
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
661
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:11,440
Oh!
662
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:13,800
Darvesh, you look gorgeous!
663
00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:24,680
# I want to break free... #
664
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:27,160
Dennis! Come on, Dennis!
665
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,280
Go get them, girls.
666
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:37,800
Small! Get over here!
667
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,080
What on earth do you think you're doing, boy?
668
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,520
Sir, you expelled Dennis for wearing a dress,
669
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:48,080
but you can't expel us all.
670
00:46:52,720 --> 00:46:54,360
# I've fallen in love
671
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,720
# I've fallen in love for the first time
672
00:46:59,720 --> 00:47:04,640
# And this time I know it's for real
673
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:07,680
# I've fallen in love
674
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:09,600
Yeah
675
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,200
# God knows
676
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,640
# God knows I've fallen in love... #
677
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:23,600
Are they wearing dresses?
678
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:28,160
# I can't get over the way you love me like you do
679
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:30,240
# But I've got to be sure... #
680
00:47:30,240 --> 00:47:31,480
Look after these.
681
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:32,920
# When I walk out that door
682
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:37,080
# Oh, how I want to be free, baby
683
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,080
# Oh, how I want to be free
684
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:46,120
# Oh, how I want to break free... #
685
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:19,520
Peter! Peter!
686
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:23,720
- Oh!
- Jaspreet.
- Oh, Peter!
687
00:48:23,720 --> 00:48:25,680
THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER
688
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,560
I have been thinking about what you said.
689
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:30,840
You have to come with me.
690
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:34,920
- What? Now?
- Yes. Now! Something wonderful's happened.
691
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:36,200
Come on, John!
692
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:46,840
Oh, here we go again.
693
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:52,400
Peter, just look at your beautiful son.
694
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:54,000
Look at what he can do.
695
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:00,400
# But life still goes on... #
696
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:03,920
Go on!
697
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:07,080
# I can't get used to living without, living without, living without you
698
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:10,000
# By my side
699
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:14,160
# I don't want to live alone... #
700
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:15,520
4-4.
701
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:16,880
Oh, the drama!
702
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:18,400
# God knows
703
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:22,520
# Got to make it on my own
704
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,520
# So, baby, can't you see?
705
00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:32,160
# I've got to break free. #
706
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:34,440
Come on, Dennis. Score one for me!
707
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:35,480
THUD
708
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:36,520
CROWD GROANS
709
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,640
- Penalty!
- Penalty.
710
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:48,520
- VOICES ECHO:
- Come on, Dennis.
- Come on, you can do it.
- Come on, Dennis.
711
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:53,880
- Hey.
- Dad, you came!
712
00:49:57,840 --> 00:49:59,640
Go get 'em, son.
713
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:01,960
WHISTLE BLOWS
714
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:05,160
Good luck, Gareth.
715
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:08,200
It's yours, mate, if you're up to it.
716
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:54,280
CHEERING
717
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:57,320
# I want to break free... #
718
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:00,000
WHISTLE BLOWS
719
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,200
Oh, my word, it's Elm Forest!
720
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:17,920
Did we win?
721
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:19,760
We won?!
722
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:23,840
Yes! Yes! I knew it!
723
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,280
I knew you could do it! Yeah!
724
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:32,760
Somebody should sign that lad.
725
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:42,720
This is my son.
726
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:46,800
This is my boy.
727
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:50,560
That's my brother, that is.
728
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:52,400
And I love him...
729
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,800
..more than I can ever say.
730
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:01,760
How did you get to be so good, son?
731
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,000
How did you get so ruddy good?
732
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:08,680
How beautiful.
733
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:14,560
Not you, boy. You're not an Elm Forest pupil.
734
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:15,640
But I thought...
735
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:19,360
Well, you thought wrong. Now get off the pitch this instant.
736
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:23,880
Hey, you wouldn't have that cup if it wasn't for my Dennis.
737
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:29,760
Your son came to school wearing a dress.
738
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:41,600
I couldn't be prouder of him.
739
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,160
We all are.
740
00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:48,240
Come on, love, let's go home.
741
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:13,520
Have you found a new school yet?
742
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:17,360
Not yet. I'm going to miss you.
743
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:19,160
I'm going to miss you too.
744
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:25,360
Come on, the new Vogue's out today. I'll buy you one as a present.
745
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,120
Aha, my favourite customers!
746
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:34,400
A very merry Christmas to you both.
747
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:36,880
- BOTH:
- Merry Christmas, Raj.
748
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:41,480
Dennis, I am so sorry to hear about your expulsion.
749
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:45,360
- Thanks.
- What is so wrong with wearing a dress, huh?
750
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:47,960
I often like to dress entirely in red Lycra
751
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:49,840
and pretend I am on Strictly!
752
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:53,960
HE SINGS THEME TUNE
753
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:56,560
It's no biggie!
754
00:53:56,560 --> 00:53:59,840
Now, if only there was a way to reason with your headmaster.
755
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:04,600
- I've tried everything.
- Hmm. You could talk to his sister.
756
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,920
- His sister?
- Yes.
757
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:11,360
She comes here first thing every Sunday morning to buy her newspaper.
758
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:14,120
You could ask her to speak to him.
759
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,440
I guess it's worth a try.
760
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:21,480
Now, would you like to buy some of my special ice cream soup?
761
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:23,720
What's ice cream soup?
762
00:54:23,720 --> 00:54:27,520
Something I invented while waiting for the freezer repair man to come.
763
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:30,480
It also has oven chips and fish fingers in it.
764
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:38,920
RAJ MUTTERS TO HIMSELF
765
00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:50,840
This is silly. Who needs to go to the shops this early?
766
00:54:58,080 --> 00:54:59,560
Think that's her?
767
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:03,240
She could be his sister. She's very tall.
768
00:55:03,240 --> 00:55:06,480
And she's got enormous feet.
769
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:10,840
You don't think?
770
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:14,000
Mr Hawthorn!
771
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:17,240
Do you mean my brother?
772
00:55:17,240 --> 00:55:21,680
Erm, he's at home dining on toast and eggs this fine morning.
773
00:55:22,720 --> 00:55:24,640
It is you!
774
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:27,200
Children, my name is Harriet Hawthorn!
775
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:29,560
- Pleased to make your acquaintance.
- We know it's you.
776
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:35,720
Oh, all right. I'm Mr Hawthorn. What of it?
777
00:55:35,720 --> 00:55:37,560
You're in... You're in a dress.
778
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:41,600
How dare you?! This is a blouse and skirt ensemble.
779
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,640
All right, a blouse and skirt!
780
00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:47,520
Listen, being a headmaster is an extremely stressful job.
781
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:49,480
If I want to relax in my time off
782
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:52,200
wearing clothes I find... comfortable,
783
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:53,480
well, that's my business.
784
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:56,200
I was comfortable in a dress until you expelled me.
785
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:59,120
But you were breaking a school rule. It's completely different.
786
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:03,440
Oh, yeah, I bet all the kids at school will see it the same way,
787
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:05,040
when we tell them.
788
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:09,640
- Are you trying to blackmail me?
- No.
789
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:14,360
- Er, yes.
- Sorry, yes.
790
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,160
What do you want?
791
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,080
Dennis Simms. What do you think you're doing here?
792
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:37,080
Look at this. It's a monstrosity.
793
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:41,400
It's still school uniform. I just gave it a little reedit.
794
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:45,200
In all my years, I've never seen anything quite...
795
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:49,320
So very creative. Please.
796
00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:58,240
What?
797
00:57:03,520 --> 00:57:07,000
That's a very pretty frock you're wearing today, Miss Price.
798
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:10,600
Oh, thank you.
799
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:16,440
It's, er, just from the shop on the high street.
800
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:24,840
Do they stock it for the...
801
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:27,160
larger lady?
802
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:37,760
- You're back?
- Yeah.
- What about Hawthorn?
803
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:41,840
He, erm, came round to my way of thinking.
804
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:44,080
I'll see you later.
805
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:46,400
Oh, right, good luck.
806
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:50,880
- Miss?
- Oh. Oh, you're back.
807
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:53,360
I'm sorry I said you had a bad French accent.
808
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:56,440
You've actually got the best French accent out there,
809
00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:58,440
and that includes all the ones in France.
810
00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:02,400
Oh, do you really think so? Merci beaucoup, Dennis.
811
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,440
I must say, you pulled off that dress rather well.
812
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:08,000
- Tres a la mode.
- Thanks, Miss.
813
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:11,920
I've, er, I've written a play for the spring term
814
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:14,560
and there's a perfect part for you in it.
815
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:15,720
It's called Joan of Arc.
816
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:17,800
Can you guess who I want you to play?
817
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:20,960
- Joan?
- Correctement! Yes!
818
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,800
You see, she was a girl that wore boys' clothes.
819
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:27,440
So you would be a boy dressed as a girl dressed as a boy.
820
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:30,960
- That would really make people think, wouldn't it?
- I suppose.
821
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:35,080
Tres bien. It's all in French, by the way.
822
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:48,120
Hey.
823
00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:52,760
This is yours.
824
00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:58,840
I'm sorry.
825
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:00,760
I miss her too.
826
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:09,720
- John, you're not going to eat all that, yeah?
- Why not?
827
00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:12,760
Well, because we've got guests coming for our little
828
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:17,960
- Christmas party.
- Who?
- Just some friends and, er, a lady friend.
829
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:21,000
KNOCK AT DOOR
830
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:26,000
Happy Christmas!
831
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,720
Happy Christmas to you, too.
832
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:33,360
Aren't you going to ask us in, then?
833
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:37,040
Oh, of course, come in, come in, come on. Through there.
834
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:39,360
- All right, Darvesh.
- All right?
835
00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:43,040
Peter! You bad, bad boy!
836
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:44,560
Eh?
837
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:48,360
- ALL: Eurgh!
- Come on!
838
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:55,000
- Wow!
- Perfect, Peter.
- Yeah, don't start that.
839
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:58,200
Peter, OK, I'm starving. Got any mince pies?
840
00:59:58,200 --> 00:59:59,840
Put that down!
841
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:13,440
I'm Dennis.
842
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:17,040
I live in an ordinary house, in an ordinary street
843
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,200
in an ordinary town.
844
01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:24,720
I feel different. But, then, doesn't everyone?
845
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:29,280
Merry Christmas!
56451
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