All language subtitles for Gigolos.S01E04.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-SLAG_Subtitles01.ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,875 --> 00:00:15,208 BEING A GIGOLO ISN'T ALWAYS EASY. 2 00:00:15,208 --> 00:00:18,208 Nick: I'M VERY PROUD TO BE CALLED A GIGOLO. 3 00:00:18,208 --> 00:00:21,041 THERE'S NOBODY OUT THERE MORE COMPETITIVE THAN ME. 4 00:00:21,041 --> 00:00:23,458 I TRY TO BREAK A SWEAT SIX DAYS A WEEK. 5 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,709 Brace: THE BRACE PHILOSOPHY 6 00:00:26,709 --> 00:00:29,250 IS TO REALLY BE GOOD TO PEOPLE. 7 00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:31,709 I'VE HAD SO MANY WOMEN IN MY LIFE IT'S JUST A BLUR. 8 00:00:31,709 --> 00:00:33,333 I WANNA ENJOY THIS. 9 00:00:34,959 --> 00:00:37,250 Jimmy: I'M THE GUY THAT EATS DESSERT FIRST. 10 00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:40,166 I'M ADVENTUROUS. I'M WILLING TO TRY QUITE A LOT. 11 00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,083 Steven: I'M JUST A NORMAL GUY 12 00:00:44,083 --> 00:00:46,417 LOOKING FOR LOVE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. 13 00:00:46,417 --> 00:00:48,542 THIS IS ME. YOU CAN TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. 14 00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:52,667 Vin: I REALLY LOVE WOMEN-- 15 00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:55,083 LEARNING ABOUT THEM, LEARNING WHAT MAKES THEM TICK. 16 00:00:55,083 --> 00:00:58,333 I WOULD CONSIDER MYSELF A REAL FEMINIST. 17 00:00:58,333 --> 00:00:59,667 THAT'S VEGAS, BABY. 18 00:01:03,333 --> 00:01:05,750 - MONEY, RIGHT THERE. - OH MY GOD. 19 00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,417 - WHOO! - OH! 20 00:01:17,834 --> 00:01:20,000 ( dog howling ) 21 00:01:24,208 --> 00:01:26,875 - ( knocks on door ) - ( door opens ) 22 00:01:26,875 --> 00:01:29,375 - HELLO? IT'S ME. - HEY. COME ON IN. 23 00:01:32,291 --> 00:01:35,542 - MMM, IT SMELLS GOOD IN HERE. - GOOD. 24 00:01:35,542 --> 00:01:38,500 SO I MET THIS GIRL KELLY A FEW MONTHS AGO AT A CLUB 25 00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:40,166 AND WE STARTED HANGING OUT A BIT. 26 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,750 LOOK AT YOU, MAKING ME DINNER AND EVERYTHING. 27 00:01:42,750 --> 00:01:45,125 - MM-HMM. - WOW. 28 00:01:45,125 --> 00:01:48,417 AND WITHIN I WOULD SAY ABOUT A MONTH 29 00:01:48,417 --> 00:01:51,375 I TOLD HER WHAT WAS GOING ON, THAT I ESCORT. 30 00:01:51,375 --> 00:01:53,208 - HOW YOU DOING? - GOOD. 31 00:01:53,208 --> 00:01:56,458 - ( giggles ) MMM. - GOOD. GOOD TO SEE YOU. 32 00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:58,041 THAT'S PROBABLY DONE. 33 00:01:58,041 --> 00:02:00,166 - Kelly: YUP. - YEAH. 34 00:02:00,166 --> 00:02:02,041 Jimmy's voice: SHE SEEMED OKAY WITH IT 35 00:02:02,041 --> 00:02:05,417 AND I WAS SORTA STUNNED FOR A LITTLE BIT. 36 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:08,709 I ALMOST THOUGHT "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS CHICK?" 37 00:02:08,709 --> 00:02:11,917 IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG? I DON'T KNOW. 38 00:02:11,917 --> 00:02:15,083 YOU KNOW, I WISH I HAD TAKEN MORE TIME 39 00:02:15,083 --> 00:02:17,125 TO CONSIDER IT WHEN I FIRST STARTED DOING IT, 40 00:02:17,125 --> 00:02:18,750 BECAUSE IT WAS JUST SORT OF A-- ( snaps ) 41 00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:21,458 A FLIP OF A SWITCH FROM STRIPPING TO ESCORTING. 42 00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:23,250 - ( chuckles ) - BOOM, ONE DAY. 43 00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:27,667 - YEAH, THAT'S A LOT. - BUT IF THE PERSON WHO I'M WITH 44 00:02:27,667 --> 00:02:30,166 REALLY UNDERSTANDS WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING, 45 00:02:30,166 --> 00:02:33,500 THEN THERE'S NO PROBLEM, THERE'S NO JEALOUSY. 46 00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:37,083 YOU KNOW, NOBODY SHOULD EVER START ESCORTING OUT OF DESPERATION... 47 00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:40,917 - YEAH. - ...BUT THAT ACTUALLY WAS KIND OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, 48 00:02:40,917 --> 00:02:44,667 AND I JUST GOT LUCKY, BECAUSE I GOT HOOKED IN WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE. 49 00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:47,834 ( Kelly speaks ) 50 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,208 - WELL, IT'S NICE. - ( chuckles ) 51 00:02:51,875 --> 00:02:54,333 HOW DOES BEING A GIGOLO AFFECT RELATIONSHIPS? 52 00:03:01,166 --> 00:03:03,291 YOU'RE ONLY AS SICK AS YOUR SECRETS. 53 00:03:03,291 --> 00:03:06,458 AND BECAUSE OF THAT REASON 54 00:03:06,458 --> 00:03:09,000 I THINK THAT SHARING MY SECRETS 55 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,125 IS BETTER THAN HOLDING IT IN. 56 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,208 ( moaning ) 57 00:03:15,792 --> 00:03:17,333 - ( sucks ) - OH YEAH. 58 00:03:18,834 --> 00:03:20,959 OH YEAH. 59 00:03:26,208 --> 00:03:28,792 I'M NOT ONE TO JUDGE PEOPLE 60 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:32,041 OR EVER SAY WHETHER SOMEBODY SHOULD 61 00:03:32,041 --> 00:03:34,166 GIVE OUT THEIR SECRETS OR NOT. 62 00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:36,333 ( moaning continues ) 63 00:03:42,208 --> 00:03:44,250 I JUST SAY FOR MYSELF 64 00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:48,208 IT FEELS BETTER WHEN I CAN BE MORE HONEST. 65 00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:50,875 - ( both moaning loudly ) - Jimmy: OH MY-- 66 00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:03,834 I LOVE YOU. 67 00:04:11,917 --> 00:04:13,291 ( waitress speaks ) 68 00:04:13,291 --> 00:04:15,041 - HEY, HOW YOU DOING? - GOOD. 69 00:04:16,375 --> 00:04:19,709 I WOULD LIKE TWO MIMOSAS, ACTUALLY. 70 00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:21,917 YEAH, THE FIRST ONE I LIKE TO SLAM, 71 00:04:21,917 --> 00:04:24,583 AND THE SECOND ONE I LIKE TO SIP. 72 00:04:24,583 --> 00:04:26,709 HE'S THE SAME WAY WITH GIRLS. 73 00:04:26,709 --> 00:04:28,333 THE FIRST ONE I LIKE TO SLAM 74 00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:30,375 - AND THE SECOND ONE I LIKE TO SIP. - SIP ON. 75 00:04:32,041 --> 00:04:35,458 - WOW. - Vin: YES, YOU WILL. YES, YOU WILL. 76 00:04:35,458 --> 00:04:37,583 - ( laughing ) - Jimmy: SHE LIKES TO START EARLY. I LIKE THAT. 77 00:04:37,583 --> 00:04:41,166 - Nick: THAT MADE MY MORNING. - Jimmy: YEAH, I PERKED UP. 78 00:04:41,166 --> 00:04:43,625 - Nick: WOW. - I'VE GOT THESE FRIENDS COMING IN, 79 00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:46,041 FRIENDS FROM COLLEGE THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN IN A LONG TIME. 80 00:04:46,041 --> 00:04:48,875 WHAT'S THE OCCASION, JUST "VEGAS-- 81 00:04:48,875 --> 00:04:52,333 - VEGAS, BABY"? - A BACHELORETTE PARTY AND THEN A WEDDING HERE-- 82 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,417 ONE OF THEIR OTHER FRIENDS I DON'T KNOW. 83 00:04:54,417 --> 00:04:57,250 - THEY'RE BOTH CHICKS? - I DON'T KNOW THE GIRL THAT'S GETTING MARRIED. 84 00:04:57,250 --> 00:04:58,792 - YEAH, THEY'RE BOTH CHICKS. - SWEET. 85 00:04:58,792 --> 00:05:00,709 - ARE THEY HOT? - YEAH YEAH. 86 00:05:00,709 --> 00:05:04,625 UMM, YEAH. I MEAN, THEY WERE HOT IN COLLEGE, 87 00:05:04,625 --> 00:05:06,250 SO I WOULD ASSUME THEY'RE-- 88 00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:07,917 ONE OF THEM HAS HAD A COUPLE OF KIDS, THOUGH, 89 00:05:07,917 --> 00:05:10,083 SO... YOU KNOW. 90 00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:11,709 SHE'S SIMMERED DOWN A BIT. 91 00:05:11,709 --> 00:05:13,834 - ( laughs ) - Vin: ARE THE KIDS COMING? 92 00:05:13,834 --> 00:05:15,417 - Jimmy: THE KIDS ARE COMING. - WHAT?! 93 00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:17,917 - Nick: OH YAY, FUN. - Brace: KIDS? 94 00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:19,500 - TO VEGAS? - Jimmy: YEAH. 95 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,125 THE KIDS ARE STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE? 96 00:05:21,125 --> 00:05:22,583 - Jimmy: YEAH. - OH MY GOD. 97 00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,291 Nick: I AGREED TO IT, 'CAUSE IT'S ONE NIGHT. 98 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:27,375 - I THINK I CAN HANDLE ONE. - MM-HMM. 99 00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:30,250 - Vin: ONE NIGHT? - WE'LL SEE. 100 00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:32,000 - ONE NIGHT. - BUT I'M NOT GONNA BE THERE, 101 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,125 - SO IT DOESN'T MATTER. - Brace: YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE THERE? 102 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,250 - HELL NO. - I'D BE SO GONE. 103 00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:39,125 - I WILL NOT BE THERE. - THOSE KIDS, THEY'RE PROBABLY GONNA HAVE YOU 104 00:05:39,125 --> 00:05:42,583 - DUCT-TAPED TO A CHAIR. - Nick: I WILL NOT BE THERE. 105 00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:44,667 I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WAS AROUND ANY KIDS. 106 00:05:44,667 --> 00:05:48,333 SO WHAT'S THE DEAL? DO THE GIRLS FROM COLLEGE KNOW 107 00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:50,542 THAT YOU'RE INTO WHAT YOU'RE DOING? 108 00:05:50,542 --> 00:05:52,417 Jimmy: NO, 'CAUSE I HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN IN CONTACT 109 00:05:52,417 --> 00:05:54,709 EXCEPT FOR MOSTLY EMAIL. 110 00:05:54,709 --> 00:05:58,333 I'M KINDS WORRIED ABOUT WHAT THEY'LL THINK IF I DO TELL THEM. 111 00:05:58,333 --> 00:05:59,959 - WHY DO YOU GOT TO TELL THEM ANYTHING? - NO, I DO. 112 00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:01,625 I CARE. THEY'RE GOOD FRIENDS FROM COLLEGE. 113 00:06:01,625 --> 00:06:03,625 BUT IF YOU TELL THEM, AREN'T THEY GONNA TELL 114 00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:05,166 ALL THE PEOPLE THAT YOU KNOW? 115 00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:06,583 MAYBE, MAYBE NOT. 116 00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:09,500 THERE'S DEFINITELY A STIGMA 117 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,458 ABOUT WHAT IT IS THAT WE DO. 118 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,458 MOST PEOPLE CAN'T FULLY ACCEPT IT. 119 00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:15,500 I DON'T THINK MOST PEOPLE WANT TO UNDERSTAND IT. 120 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,083 SO WHEN YOU TALK TO THEM, IF YOU SHARE WITH PEOPLE, 121 00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:20,250 IMMEDIATELY START THREATENING THEIR REALITY, 122 00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:21,709 THEIR INSECURITIES POP OUT. 123 00:06:21,709 --> 00:06:24,125 AND SO THE ONLY PEOPLE YOU CAN EVER TALK TO ABOUT IT 124 00:06:24,125 --> 00:06:26,917 ARE PEOPLE IN THE BUSINESS. 125 00:06:26,917 --> 00:06:28,917 I'VE GOT LOTS OF BOYS, BUT I DON'T TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT. 126 00:06:28,917 --> 00:06:31,417 WHY-- WHY DO YOU GOTTA TELL THEM ANYTHING? WHAT THE HELL? 127 00:06:31,417 --> 00:06:33,166 I DON'T. I DON'T. THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS. 128 00:06:33,166 --> 00:06:34,583 I MAY TELL THEM, I MAY NOT TELL THEM. 129 00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:36,959 I DON'T LET ANYBODY KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING 130 00:06:36,959 --> 00:06:38,959 FOR ALL THESE YEARS, 131 00:06:38,959 --> 00:06:41,750 BECAUSE I'VE LOST A LOT OF FRIENDS 132 00:06:41,750 --> 00:06:44,500 DUE TO THE FACT THAT I'M AN ESCORT. 133 00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:47,625 OR THEY FOUND OUT SOMEHOW. AND IT SUCKS. I HATE IT. 134 00:06:47,625 --> 00:06:50,333 YEAH, YOU TELL ONE PERSON, THEY'RE TELLING EVERYBODY. 135 00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:52,542 YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH HOW IT GOES. 136 00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:55,333 Brace: THAT'S WHY I DON'T TELL ANYBODY ANYTHING. 137 00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:58,208 Jimmy's voice: I HOPE MY FRIENDS CONTINUE TO ACCEPT ME 138 00:06:58,208 --> 00:06:59,875 WHEN AND IF THEY FIND OUT. 139 00:06:59,875 --> 00:07:03,208 I'VE SORT OF JUST BEEN PLAYING SPIN DOCTOR FOR A LITTLE WHILE. 140 00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:04,792 THAT'S REALLY ALL THEY KNOW, 141 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:08,291 IS THAT I STRIP, SO... 142 00:07:08,291 --> 00:07:10,208 ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS, I GOTTA GO, 143 00:07:10,208 --> 00:07:11,917 I GOTTA CLEAN THE APARTMENT. 144 00:07:11,917 --> 00:07:13,917 - Vin: KIDPROOF IT? - YEAH YEAH YEAH. 145 00:07:13,917 --> 00:07:16,166 - OKAY, SEE YA. - ALL RIGHT, BUDDY, SEE YOU. 146 00:07:16,166 --> 00:07:18,375 - ALL RIGHT, MAN. - GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. 147 00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:21,125 MAY GOD BE WITH YOU. 148 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,417 WOW, DUDE. I CAN'T BELIEVE HE AGREED TO THAT. 149 00:07:24,417 --> 00:07:25,625 BETTER HIM THAN ME. 150 00:07:36,542 --> 00:07:39,375 HEY, WHAT'S UP, MAN? HOW YOU DOING? 151 00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:41,166 - I'M JULIAN. NICE TO MEET YOU. - NICE TO MEET YOU. 152 00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:43,875 - COME ON IN, MAN. - HI. 153 00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:46,417 - THIS IS MY WIFE CANDI. - NICK. 154 00:07:46,417 --> 00:07:49,125 - HEY, NICK. - HI. HOW YOU DOING? 155 00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:51,750 - GREAT, HOW ARE YOU? - REAL GOOD. REAL GOOD. 156 00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:53,333 WHENEVER I HAVE A COUPLE-- 157 00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:55,750 EITHER A HUSBAND OR A BOYFRIEND PAYING FOR MY SERVICES-- 158 00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:58,208 I'M ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT WHAT THE GUY'S INTENTIONS ARE, 159 00:07:58,208 --> 00:07:59,792 IF HE'S GONNA BE IN THE ROOM. 160 00:07:59,792 --> 00:08:02,917 - ARE YOU GUYS FROM HERE? - NO, WE'RE HERE ON VACATION. 161 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:04,333 - VACATION? - YEAH. 162 00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:06,583 - WHERE YOU FROM? - NEW YORK. 163 00:08:06,583 --> 00:08:09,166 - IDAHO. - NEW YORK AND IDAHO. 164 00:08:09,166 --> 00:08:11,375 - Julian: YEAH. - I'M FROM WISCONSIN, ORIGINALLY. 165 00:08:11,375 --> 00:08:12,834 - WISCONSIN. - YEAH. 166 00:08:12,834 --> 00:08:14,041 - CHEESEHEADS. - YEAH. 167 00:08:14,041 --> 00:08:16,125 ( all chuckle ) 168 00:08:16,125 --> 00:08:19,291 - SO... - HAVE YOU DONE THIS BEFORE? 169 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,709 I HIRED A GIRL FOR HIM. 170 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,834 HIRED A GIRL FOR HIM? SO IT'S HER TURN. 171 00:08:22,834 --> 00:08:24,333 - COOL. - HE'S RETURNING THE FAVOR. 172 00:08:24,333 --> 00:08:26,333 - IT'S PAYBACK TIME. - THAT'S A FAIR AGREEMENT. 173 00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:28,125 WE'VE TALKED ABOUT IT, AND SO HERE WE ARE. 174 00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:31,792 IF THERE'S A GUY IN THE ROOM, I HAVE TWO RULES: 175 00:08:31,792 --> 00:08:34,667 ONE IS NO SKIN OR FLUID ON ME, 176 00:08:34,667 --> 00:08:36,917 BESIDES FROM THE GIRL; AND THE SECOND RULE IS 177 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:39,542 IF YOU'RE A GUY AND NOT A GIGOLO, YOU KEEP YOUR PANTS ON. 178 00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:41,917 Julian: PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING GOES WITH US. 179 00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:44,458 BUT WE WANTED TO SEE HOW THE OTHER ONE FELT 180 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:47,125 WATCHING THE OTHER ONE, YOU KNOW, 181 00:08:47,125 --> 00:08:48,625 BEING WITH ANOTHER PERSON. 182 00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:50,583 NOT YOU. I THOUGHT YOU WERE WATCHING. 183 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:52,625 I AM. I'VE GOT A PLACE TO SIT. 184 00:08:52,625 --> 00:08:53,959 - ( all chuckle ) - I'M JUST KIDDING. 185 00:08:53,959 --> 00:08:55,750 I LOVED IT. DO YOU THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT? 186 00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:59,291 YES. I MEAN, WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT. 187 00:08:59,291 --> 00:09:00,917 - I THINK SO. - YEAH? 188 00:09:00,917 --> 00:09:02,458 YOU ALREADY KNOW. YOU WENT THROUGH IT ALREADY. 189 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,959 - I DON'T KNOW YET. - I LOVE IT. 190 00:09:03,959 --> 00:09:06,834 - WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES. - I LOVE WATCHING YOU FUCK SOMEONE ELSE. 191 00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:18,542 - ( Nick grunts ) - ( kissing ) 192 00:09:18,542 --> 00:09:21,959 Nick's voice: THE HUSBAND, I THINK, WAS KIND OF AGAINST IT, 193 00:09:21,959 --> 00:09:23,458 ESPECIALLY AFTER I SHOWED UP, 194 00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:25,667 BUT HE HAD TO GO THROUGH WITH IT 195 00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:27,500 BECAUSE HIS WIFE ALLOWED HIM TO GET A GIRL. 196 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,291 IT KINDA-- IT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME. 197 00:09:30,291 --> 00:09:38,083 ( moaning ) 198 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,458 I HAVE TO BLOCK HIM OUT. 199 00:09:46,875 --> 00:09:49,709 - YEAH, MM-HMM. - ( moaning ) 200 00:09:55,709 --> 00:09:57,375 Nick's voice: IT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST TIMES 201 00:09:57,375 --> 00:09:58,750 I KINDA HAD TO WATCH MY BACK IN THE ROOM, 202 00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:01,208 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK HE WAS INTO IT AT ALL. 203 00:10:01,208 --> 00:10:03,709 I WAS LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER HALF THE TIME 204 00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:05,625 BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW IF HE'S GONNA GO A LITTLE JEALOUS 205 00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:07,583 OR MAYBE ACT A LITTLE CRAZY 206 00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:10,709 AND HIT ME OVER THE BACK OF THE HEAD 'CAUSE HE'S NOT INTO IT. 207 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:26,583 HE WAS A GOOD-LOOKING GUY AND ALL-- 208 00:10:26,583 --> 00:10:28,750 I DON'T WANT HER TO BE WITH SOMEBODY UGLY-- 209 00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:30,583 BUT I THINK HE CAME OFF AS A PRICK, 210 00:10:30,583 --> 00:10:32,291 TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. 211 00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,250 Candi: HE'S A PRETTY BOY. 212 00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,041 HE'S VERY METROSEXUAL. 213 00:10:37,041 --> 00:10:40,041 - ( speaks ) - ( Candi speaks ) 214 00:10:40,041 --> 00:10:41,625 DAMN IT. 215 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,834 - ALL RIGHT. ( chuckles ) - GOOD. 216 00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:49,750 - Nick: ACTUALLY-- - Candi: HOW WAS IT, HONEY? 217 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,166 - DID YOU ENJOY IT? - IT WAS MORE FOR YOUR PLEASURE. 218 00:10:52,166 --> 00:10:55,125 - THIS IS WHAT THE AGREEMENT WAS. - I KNOW. DID YOU ENJOY IT? 219 00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:58,250 IT WAS-- IT WAS FUN, YEAH. 220 00:10:59,917 --> 00:11:02,000 ALL RIGHT. WELL, I'LL LEAVE YOU TWO. 221 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,583 - I HAD A LOT OF FUN. I HOPE YOU HAD FUN. - THANK YOU. 222 00:11:05,583 --> 00:11:07,542 - WE DID. - GOOD. 223 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,583 Julian: I DON'T KNOW. IT SEEMED LIKE HE WAS TOO INTO HIMSELF. 224 00:11:09,583 --> 00:11:11,500 THAT'S THE THING THAT BOTHERED ME. 225 00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:14,166 - I DON'T KNOW. - IF YOU LIKED IT, YOU CAN TELL ME YOU LIKED IT. 226 00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:16,208 I MEAN, YOU CAN TELL-- 227 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:18,750 - THAT'S-- THAT'S-- - NO. 228 00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:21,625 I MEAN, HE WAS OKAY. 229 00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:24,333 - YOU'RE BETTER. - WELL, I HOPE SO 230 00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,000 - OR WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM. - ( both laugh ) 231 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,709 - Julian: THANK YOU. - Nick: THANK YOU. 232 00:11:29,792 --> 00:11:31,959 - HAVE A GOOD NIGHT. - Both: BYE. 233 00:11:35,875 --> 00:11:38,041 ( bird screeches ) 234 00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:44,667 Jimmy's voice: ESCORTING, PER SE, IT WAS BORN 235 00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:48,125 OUT OF A DESPERATION TO SURVIVE. 236 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,625 ESCORTING JUST PROVED TO BE THE NEXT BEST ALTERNATIVE, 237 00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:55,166 YOU KNOW, TO GETTING WHAT I WANTED... 238 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,458 WHAT THE FUCK? 239 00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:00,166 ...AND THAT WAS TIME 240 00:12:00,166 --> 00:12:02,166 TO BE ABLE TO DO THE OTHER THINGS 241 00:12:02,166 --> 00:12:03,917 IN MY LIFE THAT I WANT. 242 00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:08,000 A COUPLE OF MY FRIENDS FROM COLLEGE, 243 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000 THEY HAVE THIS BACHELORETTE PARTY GOING ON THIS WEEKEND 244 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,792 THEY ARE COMING INTO TOWN AND I REALLY WANT 245 00:12:13,792 --> 00:12:16,834 TO BE HONEST WITH THEM ABOUT WHAT I DO. 246 00:12:19,125 --> 00:12:21,709 ALTHOUGH WE HAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP 247 00:12:21,709 --> 00:12:24,709 THAT IS SORT OF BASED ON SEMI-CONNECTION 248 00:12:24,709 --> 00:12:27,750 AND OFTEN JUST CHECKING IN WITH EACH OTHER 249 00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:30,083 VIA EMAIL OR MAYBE SOME TEXTS... 250 00:12:32,542 --> 00:12:34,625 THEY STILL DON'T COMPLETELY KNOW WHAT I DO. 251 00:12:34,625 --> 00:12:37,458 AND I FEEL THIS OBLIGATION TO BE HONEST, 252 00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:39,792 TO BE MORE HONEST WITH PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT I DO, 253 00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:42,041 BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE IT BALANCES ME. 254 00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:45,041 IT FEELS LIKE IT LIFTS THE WEIGHT OFF OF ME. 255 00:12:45,041 --> 00:12:48,208 FROM HAVING A SECRET TO HIDE. 256 00:12:56,458 --> 00:12:58,709 IF THEY'RE NOT 18, I WON'T EVEN TALK TO 'EM. 257 00:12:58,709 --> 00:13:01,917 - Vin: THAT'S NOT WHAT I HEARD. - NO. NO. 258 00:13:01,917 --> 00:13:03,917 - THAT WAS GOOD. - ( phone ringing ) 259 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,625 Steven: WHOSE GAY-ASS RINGTONE IS THAT? 260 00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:07,375 YEAH. OH, IT SOUNDS LIKE A PHONE. 261 00:13:07,375 --> 00:13:09,333 - Brace: I KNOW. - Steven: WHO THE HELL'S THAT? 262 00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:11,542 - WHAT'S UP? - Jimmy: Uh... 263 00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:14,125 I HAVE A HUGE FAVOR TO ASK. 264 00:13:14,125 --> 00:13:17,875 I NEED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF, PLEASE, 265 00:13:17,875 --> 00:13:19,667 my friend's kids. 266 00:13:19,667 --> 00:13:22,125 ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, MAN? 267 00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:24,041 ( Jimmy speaks ) 268 00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:25,792 - I THINK NICK GOT SOMEBODY-- - Vin: CLIENT. 269 00:13:25,792 --> 00:13:27,834 - NO, HE GOT SOMEBODY PREGNANT. - Nick: HOW LONG? 270 00:13:27,834 --> 00:13:30,625 - HOW LONG? - SHE'S SAYING "I'M PREGNANT. WE'RE GONNA HAVE A KID." 271 00:13:30,625 --> 00:13:32,750 IT'S NOT GONNA BE MORE THAN AN HOUR-- 272 00:13:32,750 --> 00:13:34,458 A COUPLE OF HOURS AT ALL, YOU KNOW. 273 00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:36,583 - HOLD ON A SECOND. - WE'LL BE GOOD. 274 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,750 - ( sighs ) - Brace: WHAT? 275 00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:40,500 Nick: WHO LIKES KIDS? 276 00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:42,291 Vin: I LIKE KIDS TO GO HOME WITH THEIR PARENTS. 277 00:13:42,291 --> 00:13:46,208 JIMMY'S FRIEND NEEDS SOMEBODY TO WATCH HER KIDS TONIGHT, 278 00:13:46,208 --> 00:13:49,083 - AND I AM TAKING YOU TWO WITH ME. - BABYSITTING? 279 00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:50,917 THANK YOU. CALL A BABYSITTER. 280 00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:54,041 - YOU GUYS ARE COMING. - GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. I CAN'T BECAUSE-- 281 00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:56,625 - WHEN IS IT? - IT'S TONIGHT. 282 00:13:56,625 --> 00:13:58,625 I'VE GOT A CLIENT. I CAN'T. 283 00:13:58,625 --> 00:14:02,208 I MEAN, I'M FREE, BUT I DON'T-- WHY-- WAIT, WHY DOES-- 284 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:05,291 CAN'T THINK OF NOTHING? ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU TWO ARE COMING WITH. 285 00:14:05,291 --> 00:14:07,417 THAT SOUNDED LIKE VIN. DID HE SAY YES? 286 00:14:07,417 --> 00:14:10,083 - I HEARD SOMETHING. - HE NEEDS HELP. 287 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,250 - STEVEN AND VIN ARE COMING WITH. - IT'S GONNA BE CRAZY. 288 00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:14,291 - THAT'S THE ONLY WAY THAT I'LL DO IT. - Vin: I ALMOST FEEL LIKE 289 00:14:14,291 --> 00:14:16,625 WE NEED TO BE THERE TO MAKE SURE THERE'S NOT A MURDER. 290 00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:19,542 - YOU DO. YOU DO. - HE WILL CHOKE THAT KID OUT. 291 00:14:19,542 --> 00:14:22,125 ALL RIGHT, SO TEXT ME THE DETAILS-- 292 00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:24,917 TEXT ME THE DETAILS AND STEVEN AND VIN WILL BE COMING WITH. 293 00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:26,625 - ALL RIGHT. - YOU HAVE TO GO, FOR SURE. 294 00:14:26,625 --> 00:14:29,375 - ALL RIGHT, YOU OWE ME. - YOU'VE GOT A KID, SO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT. 295 00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:31,625 - GOODBYE. - Brace: THEY'RE BOTH GOING. 296 00:14:31,625 --> 00:14:33,375 - Vin: DUDE, ARE WE GETTING PAID? - Steven: THANK YOU. 297 00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:36,000 ARE WE GETTING PAID TO DO THIS? 'CAUSE WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IS 298 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,667 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU AND I BABYSITTING THREE CHILDREN NOW-- 299 00:14:38,667 --> 00:14:40,333 TWO KIDS AND NICK. 300 00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:44,333 - JUST KIDDING. - I CAN HANDLE KIDS. I CAN HANDLE DOGS IF-- 301 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:46,834 - DOGS AND KIDS. - I JUST CAN'T DO IT FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME. 302 00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:48,250 YOU CAN LEAVE DOGS OUT IN THE BACKYARD. 303 00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:50,208 - YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITH KIDS. - YEAH, YOU CAN... 304 00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:51,500 - Vin: WELL, WE CAN TRY. - ...IF YOU HAVE A GOOD FENCE. 305 00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,500 I'M A BUSINESSPERSON, I'M VERY RESPONSIBLE. 306 00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,083 AND I'VE NEVER LET JIMMY DOWN. 307 00:14:56,083 --> 00:14:58,291 I DEFINITELY WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITH THE KIDS. 308 00:14:58,291 --> 00:15:01,375 SO I'M GONNA RUN HOME, JUMP ON WIKIPEDIA 309 00:15:01,375 --> 00:15:04,333 - AND LOOK UP "KIDS." - ( laughing ) 310 00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:06,667 AND I'LL MEET YOU GUYS THERE. 311 00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:08,291 Vin: ALL RIGHT. ENJOY. 312 00:15:08,291 --> 00:15:10,208 Steven: I'M GONNA FINISH YOUR DRINK! 313 00:15:15,542 --> 00:15:17,667 ( doorbell rings ) 314 00:15:20,792 --> 00:15:22,625 ( knocks on door ) 315 00:15:25,917 --> 00:15:27,667 - HELLO. HOW'S IT GOING? - Woman: HI! 316 00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:29,709 DOING GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? 317 00:15:29,709 --> 00:15:31,041 - GOOD. - OH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. 318 00:15:31,041 --> 00:15:32,667 GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT TO VEGAS. 319 00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:36,041 - HI. - HI, HOW YOU DOING? 320 00:15:36,041 --> 00:15:38,333 - WOW, THEY LOOK SO BIG NOW. - TYLER AND BRADEN, YES. 321 00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:41,250 - HEY, GUYS. - SAY HI. DO YOU HAVE A HIGH FIVE OR A HUG? 322 00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:43,583 I'M JIMMY. SO THIS IS MY HUMBLE ABODE. 323 00:15:43,583 --> 00:15:46,834 WE'RE CRASHING AT JIMMY'S, WHO WE HAVEN'T SEEN IN AT LEAST FIVE YEARS. 324 00:15:46,834 --> 00:15:49,125 IT MIGHT BE A LITTLE MORE, I THINK. 325 00:15:49,125 --> 00:15:51,542 WELL, YOU'RE IN MOMMY TERRITORY, SO IT MUST SEEM LONGER TO YOU. 326 00:15:51,542 --> 00:15:54,083 I HAVE BETTER MEMORY, THOUGH. 327 00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:56,375 - OKAY, WE'RE GONNA GO WITH THAT. - ( both laugh ) 328 00:15:56,375 --> 00:15:57,959 BUT YEAH, HE'S GONNA TAKE US OUT, 329 00:15:57,959 --> 00:15:59,625 WE'RE GONNA GET SOME CUTE STUFF, 330 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,291 MAYBE GET SOME STUFF FOR THE BACHELORETTE PARTY... 331 00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:02,542 - Amee: YES. - ...SHOW US THE TOWN. 332 00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:04,458 JUST GO AHEAD AND DROP THAT STUFF RIGHT THERE. 333 00:16:04,458 --> 00:16:06,250 I'LL PUT THE LUGGAGE IN THE BEDROOM. 334 00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:07,917 - NO KIDS. - HIGH FIVE. 335 00:16:07,917 --> 00:16:09,208 - YES. - ALL RIGHT. 336 00:16:09,208 --> 00:16:11,417 SO YOU GUYS READY TO PARTY IT UP IN VEGAS? 337 00:16:11,417 --> 00:16:13,083 - OH YES. - VERY MUCH READY. 338 00:16:13,083 --> 00:16:15,000 - NICE. - WE NEED TO GET MOM AWAY FROM HER KIDS. 339 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,333 - YES, FAR FAR AWAY. - ( Jimmy chuckles ) 340 00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:19,458 I LOVE YOU GUYS, BUT FAR FAR AWAY. 341 00:16:19,458 --> 00:16:20,959 Jimmy: YOU CAN GO SHOP A LITTLE BIT. 342 00:16:20,959 --> 00:16:22,250 Amee: SHOP, FOOD, DRINKS-- 343 00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:24,041 - ALL OF IT. - SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. 344 00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:27,250 SO MY ROOMMATE SHOULD BE HERE PRETTY SOON. 345 00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:29,959 - OKAY. - Kristen: AND THEY'RE GONNA TAKE CARE-- 346 00:16:29,959 --> 00:16:31,291 Jimmy: YEAH, THEY SHOULD BE FINE. 347 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,083 I FEEL LIKE I WOULD BE A GOOD FATHER. 348 00:16:33,083 --> 00:16:36,750 I FEEL LIKE I COULD HAVE A VERY DECENT PLACE 349 00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:38,750 IN SOCIETY BEING A FATHER. 350 00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:40,834 - THROW IT. - ALL RIGHT! 351 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,875 - GOOD JOB. - GOOD JOB, BUDDY. 352 00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:44,208 - GOT IT. - Jimmy: GOOD JOB. 353 00:16:45,125 --> 00:16:47,000 - OW. - Jimmy: OH! 354 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,166 Amee: OH, HE'LL RECOVER. HE'LL BE FINE. 355 00:16:49,166 --> 00:16:50,875 Jimmy: DOES THAT MEAN IT HAS TO HAPPEN NOW? 356 00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:52,959 - WATCH OUT. - OH! TYLER. 357 00:16:52,959 --> 00:16:54,917 - Tyler: SORRY. - NOPE. 358 00:16:54,917 --> 00:16:57,875 BUT I WOULD LIKE TO CONTINUE 359 00:16:57,875 --> 00:17:00,041 MY FAMILY LINE, MY HERITAGE. 360 00:17:01,417 --> 00:17:03,375 I DON'T KNOW. CALL IT A PRIMAL INSTINCT. 361 00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:05,667 ( hisses ) 362 00:17:07,834 --> 00:17:10,542 - ( laughing ) - ( mimics biting ) 363 00:17:10,542 --> 00:17:13,834 - ( door opens, closes ) - I HEARD YOU GUYS DOWN THE ROAD. 364 00:17:13,834 --> 00:17:16,917 - Jimmy: YO. - OH MAN. 365 00:17:16,917 --> 00:17:18,792 - HOW WE DOING? - Kristen: HI. 366 00:17:18,792 --> 00:17:21,083 - Jimmy: GOOD. - I'M AMEE. HI. 367 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:23,208 THESE ARE MY CHILDREN. 368 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:27,083 SPEED SPEED SPEED. I CANNOT STAND ANYTHING. 369 00:17:28,166 --> 00:17:30,000 - YOU'RE NICK? - THESE ARE THE CHILDREN. 370 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,542 - I AM NICK. - Amee: YES. 371 00:17:31,542 --> 00:17:33,000 - SAY HI, YOU GUYS. - Tyler: HI. 372 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,500 - HI. - HEY, BUT I HAVE A LOT TO TELL YOU. 373 00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:37,208 ARE YOU READY? IT'S A LOT. 374 00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:39,625 - OKAY. - OKAY, BRADEN, THE LITTLE ONE RIGHT THERE, 375 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:42,375 - HE CANNOT HAVE PEANUTS. - YOU GUYS ARE GONNA CLEAN THIS UP, RIGHT? 376 00:17:42,375 --> 00:17:44,250 LOOK LOOK LOOK. NO, REALLY LOOK, OKAY? 377 00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:47,208 HE CANNOT HAVE ANYTHING WITH PEANUTS IN IT. 378 00:17:47,208 --> 00:17:48,875 - NOTHING. - NO PEANUTS. GOT IT. 379 00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:51,041 Amee: NOTHING WITH EGG IN IT. JUST DON'T FEED HIM. 380 00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:52,834 - YOU CAN GIVE HIM CHIPS... - YOU WROTE THIS DOWN, RIGHT? 381 00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:54,917 ...OR WATER OR MILK. NO, JUST THINK. 382 00:17:54,917 --> 00:17:57,500 - NO WATER, MILK OR CHIPS. - NO, HE CAN HAVE WATER AND MILK. 383 00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:01,083 - OKAY, ONLY WATER AND MILK. - YES. THIS IS EPIPEN. 384 00:18:01,083 --> 00:18:03,834 YOU TAKE IT OUT-- AND THIS IS REAL, OKAY? 385 00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:05,375 THERE'S A NEEDLE IN IT. 386 00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,667 JUST LOOK AT THE DIRECTIONS, OKAY? 387 00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:09,542 YOU REMOVE THE GREEN CAPS 388 00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:11,875 AND THEN YOU JAB IT INTO HIS LEG AND COUNT TO 10. 389 00:18:11,875 --> 00:18:14,083 THAT IS ONLY IF HE CANNOT BREATHE. 390 00:18:14,083 --> 00:18:16,083 I WILL KILL YOU IF HE CANNOT BREATHE 391 00:18:16,083 --> 00:18:17,917 AT SOME POINT, JUST SO YOU KNOW, OKAY? 392 00:18:17,917 --> 00:18:20,125 SO YOU JAB IT INTO HIS LEG, 393 00:18:20,125 --> 00:18:22,041 YOU CALL 911 AND THEN YOU CALL ME. 394 00:18:22,041 --> 00:18:24,291 Nick: THE KIDS ACTUALLY WEREN'T THAT SCARY. 395 00:18:24,291 --> 00:18:28,208 - AMEE WAS SCARY. - MY CHILDREN MEAN EVERYTHING, 396 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,875 AND IF YOU DO SOMETHING WRONG, IT MEANS THE END OF YOU. 397 00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:33,041 OKAY? OKAY. 398 00:18:33,041 --> 00:18:35,291 - I'M WATCHING THEM. - Tyler: ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ME AN ANIMAL? 399 00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:37,000 - I LOVE YOU. - THEY'LL BE GOOD. DON'T WORRY. 400 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,709 - CAN YOU MAKE ME A TIGER? - Amee: I LOVE YOU! 401 00:18:39,709 --> 00:18:41,291 CAN YOU MAKE ME A TIGER? 402 00:18:41,291 --> 00:18:44,208 - MAKE ME A TIGER TOO. - OH MAN. 403 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,583 Vin: I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS, DUDE. 404 00:18:47,583 --> 00:18:49,583 FRANKLY, I DON'T WANT TO WATCH KIDS EITHER, 405 00:18:49,583 --> 00:18:53,083 BUT I'M JUST GOING FOR THEIR PROTECTION. 406 00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:55,500 I CAN'T IMAGINE NICK ACTUALLY BABYSITTING 407 00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,542 ANYTHING OTHER THAN A BOX OF ROCKS. 408 00:18:57,542 --> 00:19:01,750 JIMMY CALLED NICK TO ASK HIM TO BABYSIT HIS FRIEND'S KIDS. 409 00:19:01,750 --> 00:19:05,417 THAT MIGHT BE MY ABSOLUTE LAST RESORT. 410 00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:09,291 I THINK I'D ALMOST DO CHARLES MANSON BEFORE NICK. 411 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,417 EVEN HE SEEMS A LITTLE MORE LAID BACK. 412 00:19:13,417 --> 00:19:16,417 TAKE THE KIDS, GET 'EM A COUPLE OF LAP DANCES. 413 00:19:16,417 --> 00:19:18,125 THAT'LL KEEP 'EM NICE AND QUIET. 414 00:19:18,125 --> 00:19:20,750 RIGHT, THEN THEY'LL ALL GROW UP TO BE LIKE US. GREAT. 415 00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:23,500 ( both laugh ) 416 00:19:29,834 --> 00:19:32,375 Amee: SO WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR? 417 00:19:32,375 --> 00:19:35,166 - Jimmy: IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU GUYS. - Kristen: SERIOUSLY. 418 00:19:35,166 --> 00:19:37,125 - Amee: IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. - IT'S BEEN, WHAT, FIVE YEARS? 419 00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:39,667 AT LEAST. WELL, TYLER'S FIVE NOW 420 00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:43,583 - AND YOU DIDN'T EMERGE FROM THE HOUSE AFTER-- - YEAH, NEVER. 421 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:47,291 I THINK THAT I WILL LOOK FOR AN OPPORTUNITY 422 00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,125 TO BE ABLE TO TELL THEM THAT I ESCORT. 423 00:19:49,125 --> 00:19:50,834 I'M NOT SURE IF I'M GONNA BLURT IT OUT 424 00:19:50,834 --> 00:19:52,959 I'M NOT SURE IF I'M GONNA ASK THEM ABOUT 425 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:56,458 WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT MALE GIGOLOS BEFORE MENTIONING IT. 426 00:19:56,458 --> 00:19:58,875 I'M NOT REALLY SURE HOW I'M GONNA GO ABOUT IT AT ALL. 427 00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:00,875 I DON'T HAVE A GAME PLAN, 428 00:20:00,875 --> 00:20:02,709 SO... I DON'T KNOW. 429 00:20:02,709 --> 00:20:04,333 Amee: BLUE, YOU CAN DO BLUE. THAT'S FINE. 430 00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:06,291 Kristen: YES, IT IS A LITTLE BIT URBAN COWBOY. 431 00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:09,917 IT REMINDS ME OF JON VOIGHT IN "MIDNIGHT COWBOY." 432 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,041 THEY TELL YOU ABOUT THIS STUFF I MADE FOR THE PARTY? 433 00:20:12,041 --> 00:20:14,625 THE BACHELORETTE PARTY? I'M GONNA HAVE PENISES EVERYWHERE. 434 00:20:14,625 --> 00:20:18,959 I'M GONNA HAVE A PENIS WAND WITH LITTLE FRILLIES UNDERNEATH IT. 435 00:20:18,959 --> 00:20:21,583 A PENIS WAND, PENIS MINTS, 436 00:20:21,583 --> 00:20:23,333 - PENIS STRAWS. - I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE PENIS MINTS. 437 00:20:23,333 --> 00:20:26,041 ALL OF OUR DRINKS. I HAVE STRAWS FOR ALL OF US. 438 00:20:26,041 --> 00:20:29,333 WE'RE GONNA HAVE STRIPPERS AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE PENISES ALL UP IN OUR FACE, 439 00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:31,291 AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE LAST TIME THAT HAPPENED 440 00:20:31,291 --> 00:20:33,875 FROM SOME RANDOM PERSON. 441 00:20:33,875 --> 00:20:35,959 JUST SOME RANDOM PENIS. THERE IT IS. 442 00:20:35,959 --> 00:20:38,417 PENIS PENIS PENIS. 443 00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:41,417 Nick: I WOULD LOVE TO MAKE YOU A TIGER 444 00:20:41,417 --> 00:20:44,166 OUT OF THESE BALLOONS. ALL RIGHT. STRETCH IT OUT A LITTLE BIT. 445 00:20:44,166 --> 00:20:47,166 YOU DON'T PASS OUT BLOWING UP THAT BALLOON, PLEASE. 446 00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:48,875 - Braden: OKAY. - ALL RIGHT. 447 00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:50,750 ( all blowing ) 448 00:20:52,875 --> 00:20:55,583 Tyler: THESE ARE HARD TO BLOW UP. 449 00:20:55,583 --> 00:20:58,875 THESE ARE TRICK BALLOONS. ARE YOU GUYS PLAYING A JOKE ON ME? 450 00:20:58,875 --> 00:21:01,166 ( Nick and Braden laugh ) 451 00:21:01,166 --> 00:21:03,709 ALL RIGHT, TRY IT ONE MORE TIME. READY? REALLY HARD. 452 00:21:03,709 --> 00:21:05,375 ( blowing ) 453 00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:10,542 ( both pant ) 454 00:21:10,542 --> 00:21:13,709 IF I PASS OUT, YOU'VE GOT TO STICK ME WITH A NEEDLE TOO. 455 00:21:13,709 --> 00:21:17,000 - ( laughs ) - ( Braden speaks ) 456 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,875 - YOU WHAT? - HE'S GOING POTTY. 457 00:21:18,875 --> 00:21:20,875 HE CAN DO THAT ON HIS OWN, RIGHT? 458 00:21:20,875 --> 00:21:24,291 THERE'S A LOT OF CRAZINESS THAT GOES ON AT BACHELORETTE PARTIES. 459 00:21:24,291 --> 00:21:26,166 I'VE BEEN-- WHEN I USED TO DANCE, 460 00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:28,375 - I'VE BEEN BITTEN, SCRATCHED. - ( laughs ) 461 00:21:28,375 --> 00:21:32,000 I ONE TIME HAD A WHIP CREAM BOTTLE SCRATCH ACROSS MY FACE 462 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:35,875 THAT MADE ME BLEED. IT WAS FUN. 463 00:21:35,875 --> 00:21:39,250 SO YOU KNOW HOW I TOLD YOU THAT I WAS OUT OF STRIPPING 464 00:21:39,250 --> 00:21:42,417 AND WAS JUST DOING SOME TECH WORK ON SOME OF THE SHOWS AROUND HERE? 465 00:21:42,417 --> 00:21:45,834 - YEAH. - I'M JUST A MALE ESCORT NOW. 466 00:21:45,834 --> 00:21:48,291 I'M NOT ACTUALLY IN TECH. 467 00:21:48,291 --> 00:21:50,500 THAT'S HOW I SURVIVE. 468 00:21:51,959 --> 00:21:54,542 LIKE MALE ESCORT MALE ESCORT? 469 00:21:54,542 --> 00:21:56,625 MM-HMM. YEAH. 470 00:21:56,625 --> 00:21:58,583 SOMETIMES DINNER, SOMETIMES MORE. 471 00:22:01,041 --> 00:22:03,291 BUT MOSTLY JUST FUN, COMPANIONSHIP. 472 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,166 - OKAY. - AND I SURVIVE. 473 00:22:07,166 --> 00:22:10,500 - CLEARLY. - BUT IT'S NOT EVER ABOUT SEX. 474 00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:12,750 - DO YOU GET-- WHATEVER. - IT'S JUST COMPANIONSHIP. 475 00:22:12,750 --> 00:22:15,000 -IT'S JUST TIME. - AND YOU GET PAID FOR THIS? 476 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,041 - YEAH. - WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE GETTING PAID FOR IT NOW. 477 00:22:17,041 --> 00:22:18,083 - Jimmy: MM-HMM. - RIGHT. I GUESS. 478 00:22:18,083 --> 00:22:19,625 Kristen: AS OPPOSED TO COLLEGE. 479 00:22:19,625 --> 00:22:22,959 AND DOES ANYBODY ELSE KNOW THAT THAT'S WHAT YOU DO? 480 00:22:22,959 --> 00:22:24,875 - Jimmy: MY FRIENDS KNOW. - ( silent ) 481 00:22:24,875 --> 00:22:27,417 LET'S SEE WHAT KIND OF ARM YOU'VE GOT. THERE YOU GO. 482 00:22:27,417 --> 00:22:30,917 NICE. NOT BAD. THAT'S A GOOD SPIRAL TOO. 483 00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:32,792 - ( grunts ) - NICE CATCH. 484 00:22:34,875 --> 00:22:36,500 YOU WANT TO CHECK ON HIM REAL QUICK? 485 00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:38,625 ALL RIGHT, GO SEE HOW HE IS. 486 00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:41,667 - ( Tyler grunts) - Braden: STOP. 487 00:22:41,667 --> 00:22:43,834 - HE LOCKED THE DOOR. - ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 488 00:22:43,834 --> 00:22:46,709 - HE LOCKED THE DOOR. - ARE YOU BREATHING? 489 00:22:46,709 --> 00:22:49,959 YEAH? EVERYTHING COMING OUT ALL RIGHT? 490 00:22:49,959 --> 00:22:51,959 Braden: YEAH. 491 00:22:51,959 --> 00:22:53,834 - Nick: YOU'RE NOT MAKING A MESS, ARE YOU? - NO. 492 00:22:53,834 --> 00:22:56,458 ALL RIGHT, I'M TRUSTING YOU. 493 00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:58,583 - ( door shuts ) - WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE? 494 00:22:58,583 --> 00:23:00,667 - ( Nick laughs ) - Tyler: I WANNA MAKE A FORT. 495 00:23:00,667 --> 00:23:03,125 Nick: ALL RIGHT, SO IT HASN'T BEEN THAT BAD. 496 00:23:03,125 --> 00:23:05,834 ONE OF THEM HAS BEEN IN THE BATHROOM FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES. 497 00:23:05,834 --> 00:23:07,625 - ( babbling ) - Steven: WHAT DID YOU FEED HIM? 498 00:23:07,625 --> 00:23:10,709 HE'S FINE. WE'LL JUST LEAVE HIM. LET HIM BE. 499 00:23:10,709 --> 00:23:13,291 - Vin: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? - WE'RE JUST PLAYING A LITTLE FOOTBALL. 500 00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:15,583 HE'S ACTUALLY GOOD. HE'S NOT EVEN IN FIRST GRADE YET 501 00:23:15,583 --> 00:23:17,625 AND HE'S GOT AN ARM BETTER THAN STEVEN. 502 00:23:17,625 --> 00:23:20,709 - Braden: NICK! - UH-OH, WAIT, SOMETHING'S HAPPENING IN HERE. 503 00:23:20,709 --> 00:23:22,709 - Braden: NICK! - WHAT? 504 00:23:22,709 --> 00:23:25,000 Vin: I DON'T THINK IT'S SAFE FOR HIM TO BE LOCKED IN THERE LIKE THAT. 505 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,375 - SOUNDS LIKE HE'S NARRATING A POOP. - ALL RIGHT, COME ON OUT. 506 00:23:27,375 --> 00:23:29,500 - THERE WE GO. OH! - ( door thumps ) 507 00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:32,500 I THINK I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH KIDS, 508 00:23:32,500 --> 00:23:36,083 BUT I REALLY HAVE TO BE DEFINITELY IN THE MOOD. 509 00:23:36,083 --> 00:23:38,500 AND THEY'VE GOT TO BE, 510 00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:41,333 I THINK, IN CALM MODE. 511 00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:44,417 ( kids laughing ) 512 00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:52,583 - OW. - LITTLE ARM CURLS. 513 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:58,208 - I'M SCARED. - ( yells ) 514 00:23:58,208 --> 00:24:00,166 - NO-HO-HO-HO. - ( kids laughing ) 515 00:24:00,166 --> 00:24:01,750 DON'T. HE'S GONNA STOP BREATHING 516 00:24:01,750 --> 00:24:03,166 AND I'LL HAVE TO STAB HIM WITH THE NEEDLE. GO OVER HERE. 517 00:24:03,166 --> 00:24:04,542 ( yelling ) 518 00:24:06,875 --> 00:24:09,583 NO! NO CHOKING OUT THE BROTHER. 519 00:24:12,792 --> 00:24:14,250 Tyler: I GOT HIM! 520 00:24:17,667 --> 00:24:20,834 Woman: AND YOU JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND RELAX. 521 00:24:22,166 --> 00:24:24,583 MMM, NICE. 522 00:24:25,959 --> 00:24:28,041 I SAID, "I'M GOING TO MEET A CLIENT TONIGHT," 523 00:24:28,041 --> 00:24:30,750 AND ACTUALLY THAT'S BULLSHIT. 524 00:24:30,750 --> 00:24:34,000 I KNOW WHEN I NEED TO GET AWAY, I KNOW WHEN I NEED TO HAVE MY OWN TIME. 525 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,083 AND I DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH A COUPLE OF SCREAMING KIDS. 526 00:24:37,083 --> 00:24:39,250 I TOLD MY BUDDIES I WAS WORKING, 527 00:24:39,250 --> 00:24:41,959 JUST NEEDED SOME TIME AWAY... 528 00:24:41,959 --> 00:24:43,834 - OH. - ...'CAUSE I DESERVE IT. 529 00:24:43,834 --> 00:24:45,583 - Woman: YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO, RIGHT? - MM-HMM. 530 00:24:45,583 --> 00:24:48,375 I FEEL SO SEXY RIGHT NOW. 531 00:24:48,375 --> 00:24:50,417 I DON'T HAVE KIDS BECAUSE I KNOW 532 00:24:50,417 --> 00:24:54,417 THAT HAVING KIDS REQUIRES A LOT OF TIME. 533 00:24:54,417 --> 00:24:56,583 SOME PEOPLE SAY IT'S SELFISH, 534 00:24:56,583 --> 00:24:59,333 BUT IT'S A CONSCIOUS DECISION THAT I'VE MADE 535 00:24:59,333 --> 00:25:02,291 AND I'M JUST DOING 536 00:25:02,291 --> 00:25:04,875 WHAT I THINK'S BEST FOR ME. 537 00:25:04,875 --> 00:25:07,458 OH. ( grunts ) 538 00:25:07,458 --> 00:25:09,333 - IS THAT OKAY? - THAT'S GOOD. 539 00:25:09,333 --> 00:25:11,792 I LIKE THAT. OH. 540 00:25:11,792 --> 00:25:15,333 JESUS' MOTHER, THAT'S GOOD. 541 00:25:18,542 --> 00:25:21,709 - ( kids laughing ) - EASE UP, EASE UP. 542 00:25:21,709 --> 00:25:25,125 - ALL RIGHT, BACK ON TIME OUT. - I DON'T LIKE BEING UP HERE. 543 00:25:25,125 --> 00:25:27,834 - I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS. - BACK ON TIME OUT. 544 00:25:27,834 --> 00:25:29,458 I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS. 545 00:25:29,458 --> 00:25:31,166 WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T CHOKE YOUR BROTHER THEN. 546 00:25:31,166 --> 00:25:33,625 I AM AFRAID OF HEIGHTS. 547 00:25:33,625 --> 00:25:36,250 - SEE? TEACH HIM. RIGHT? TEACH HIM. - ( door opens ) 548 00:25:36,250 --> 00:25:37,750 - Steven: AHA! - Jimmy: HEY. 549 00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:39,417 - HEY. - Jimmy: WE'RE BACK. 550 00:25:39,417 --> 00:25:41,291 - Amee: ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT. 551 00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:43,125 - YAY. - ( laughing ) 552 00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:45,291 - BEING A GOOD BOY? YEAH? - ( breathlessly ) YEAH. 553 00:25:45,291 --> 00:25:48,125 - WERE YOU GOOD BOYS? - Jimmy: SO DID YOU GUYS BABYSIT 'EM OR WHAT? 554 00:25:48,125 --> 00:25:49,583 ( pants ) YEAH. 555 00:25:49,583 --> 00:25:50,959 I HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND KIDS IN A WHILE, 556 00:25:50,959 --> 00:25:52,959 SO I DIDN'T KNOW HOW IT WAS GONNA GO. 557 00:25:52,959 --> 00:25:54,542 IT ENDED UP GOING ALL RIGHT, 558 00:25:54,542 --> 00:25:55,667 AND OF COURSE THEY LOVED ME, 559 00:25:55,667 --> 00:25:59,041 BUT MAN, ARE THEY FUCKING EXHAUSTING. 560 00:25:59,041 --> 00:26:02,166 - Tyler: I THINK THIS ONE IS YOURS. - NEEDLES OUT IN THE FRIDGE, 561 00:26:02,166 --> 00:26:04,000 - THEY'RE ALL YOURS. - Vin: STEVEN! 562 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,667 - I DIDN'T DO THAT. I DIDN'T DO THAT. - Vin: LET'S GO, MAN. 563 00:26:05,667 --> 00:26:08,125 - YOU GUYS HAVE FUN. ALL RIGHT. - Vin: BYE. 564 00:26:08,125 --> 00:26:10,625 - OH LORD. - Vin: GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. 565 00:26:10,625 --> 00:26:13,834 I GENUINELY AM PROUD OF NICK 566 00:26:13,834 --> 00:26:15,875 FOR HANGING IN THERE AND NOT KILLING AMY'S KIDS. 567 00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:20,125 I HAVE TO ADMIT I THOUGHT WE'D BE COMING HOME TO A CRIME SCENE. 568 00:26:20,125 --> 00:26:22,667 - HOW DO YOU KNOW THOSE GUYS? - I DANCED WITH NICK 569 00:26:22,667 --> 00:26:25,500 FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS. WE WORKED A LOT TOGETHER. 570 00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:28,542 YOU DANCED. ELABORATE "DANCED." 571 00:26:28,542 --> 00:26:30,750 PRIVATE PARTIES, BACHELORETTE PARTIES. 572 00:26:30,750 --> 00:26:32,959 - Kristen: NOT TAP DANCING. - NOT TAP. 573 00:26:32,959 --> 00:26:35,083 - NO BALLROOM. - NO JAZZ FINGERS? 574 00:26:35,083 --> 00:26:36,500 NO JAZZ FINGERS. 575 00:26:36,500 --> 00:26:39,875 SO ALL OF THEM DO WHAT YOU DO? 576 00:26:39,875 --> 00:26:41,250 - YEAH. - REALLY? 577 00:26:41,250 --> 00:26:43,417 THEY'RE MY BUDDIES AND THEY'RE ALSO MY FAMILY. 578 00:26:46,709 --> 00:26:50,834 I DON'T LOVE THIS FOR JIMMY, BUT I LOVE HIM. 579 00:26:50,834 --> 00:26:53,542 AND AS LONG AS HE'S BEING SAFE, 580 00:26:53,542 --> 00:26:55,875 - I WANT THE BEST FOR HIM. - I WANT THE BEST FOR HIM TOO. 581 00:26:55,875 --> 00:26:58,834 - I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. - I THINK IT'S KINDA COOL. 582 00:26:58,834 --> 00:27:00,875 IT'S-- IT'S INTERESTING. 583 00:27:00,875 --> 00:27:03,375 SO YOU HAVE AN AGENT. HOW DOES THAT EXACTLY WORK? 584 00:27:03,375 --> 00:27:05,375 - IS THAT LIKE A PIMP? - HOW DOES THAT WORK? 585 00:27:05,375 --> 00:27:07,250 YEAH, HE'S LIKE A PIMP BUT A LOT NICER. 586 00:27:07,250 --> 00:27:10,834 - Kristen: HE DOESN'T SMACK YOU AROUND? - NOPE, NOTHING. 587 00:27:10,834 --> 00:27:14,083 IT FEELS GREAT TO BE ACCEPTED FOR WHO YOU ARE 588 00:27:14,083 --> 00:27:15,709 AND WHAT YOU DO, OBVIOUSLY. 589 00:27:15,709 --> 00:27:18,750 THERE'S A SENSE OF PRIDE, A BETTER SENSE OF SELF-ESTEEM 590 00:27:18,750 --> 00:27:21,834 AND SELF-CONFIDENCE. IT FEELS PRETTY NICE. 591 00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:25,000 ARE YOU GONNA CLEAN UP AFTER MY KIDS? 592 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,709 - MAYBE. - I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE NICK DO IT. 593 00:27:27,709 --> 00:27:29,625 - Jimmy: YEAH, WE SHOULD. - Amee: YEAH, WE SHOULD. 594 00:27:29,625 --> 00:27:31,083 Nick: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? 595 00:27:31,083 --> 00:27:33,959 ( rock music playing ) 596 00:28:03,125 --> 00:28:04,000 Man: SQUAWK. 47216

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