All language subtitles for Dva holma S01 E01-E02 1080p

Good morning Rada!

I'm sorry, friend, but otherwise you'll be late.

Let me get up, get up.

Wonderful! A wonderful day ahead!

How do you know?

While you were sleeping, I did a body check.

All indicators are normal, and vitamin D
even a little too much.

Therefore, you should be happy.

Well, then... Whoo-hoo!

Grandma is calling you.

Answering machine.

Happy birthday, berry!

I know your generation doesn't count anymore
it's a holiday, but I don't care.

Fifty years is a serious date.
Beginning of adulthood.

Call me back. In general, I love you.

Larisa, cook broccoli
and lentil patties.

Great choice! What kind of coffee will you be?

Let's have an express espresso. Gotta cheer up.

Strong.

Breakfast is ready, friend.

Oops, the printer is out
green dye!

I guessed.

Glad you too often
you use sarcasm.

This is oral aggression.
Sign you up with a psychologist?

Write yourself down.

You're booked for Tuesday at nine in the morning.

Larisa, prepare everyday
linen dress.

Wait after cooking
ten minutes, otherwise the clothes will smell.

I know. No time. Turn on the screen.

Dignity, confidence,
uncompromising result.

"Lily of the valley 6S" - conquer the pinnacle of pleasure.

Order now on AliExpress.

Delivery - six seconds,
and pleasure is eternity.

Renowned artist and activist
Zoya Pozharskaya

holds another promotion
in support of men.

Sex should be with a man.

The cops don't interfere
Because everyone can have their own opinion.

No wonder Mother Russia is ahead by a margin
all countries on the Democracy Index.

Your dress is ready.

- Hey, Rada.
- Hello.

We are at home today

Tomorrow is also at home

Day after tomorrow - at home

The day after tomorrow - also at home ...

Hi friend.

Hey Iya!

Have you seen the new Lily of the Valley 6S? It's something.

Yes, very stylish.

I have to save and save for such.

Maybe we can buy one for two?
One week for you, one week for me.

And I!

Your mom is calling.

Answering machine.

You can't redirect
a call from a person

with a social status higher than yours.

Did you wake up? Are you late?

Mom, I'm already fifty. May be enough?

The tour will
daughter of the Mother of Two Hills.

So no oral aggression.
Remember, you are a teacher.

If everything goes well, you will be accepted.
city hall for an internship. I reached an agreement.

Yes? Did you agree with me, my friend?
Do I need it?

I am your mother first
and then a friend.

Mom, I don't think this is mine.

And it's too early for you to think. As long as I'm for you
I answer. And don't forget the whistle.

Moscow is full of primates.

What, you don't want to work at City Hall?

I don't really know what I want.

Shellfish has a new song out now.

Listen. She's just about the crisis
transitional age.

What are you? You have to sort.

I have no time. I am late.

Breaking again, friend?

The fine is five social points.

I told you.

Did she tell you?

Well done!

Awareness Bonus.

Have a nice day, girlfriends. Love you.

Are you offended?

Yes, I have no time to be offended.

To Greta Thunberg Square.

Two social points.

Bye. Love you friend.

Love you.

Hello, Rada Yelenovna.

Sorry, got back a little late.

And to be more precise - for 19 minutes 48 seconds.
Is it a little? Don't think.

Forgot to ask you.

Friends, before the tour we must
watch a historical film.

Rada Yelenovna, doesn't it hurt?

That ditch again?

This is our history.

Larisa, turn on the screen.

Historical film
for students in grades 10–14.

From ancient times on earth
established a patriarchal system.

And where men rule
only lust, selfishness and violence reign.

Time passed. But nothing has changed.

Only the methods of killing have changed.

They became
more and more cruel and sophisticated.

The world leaders were so
capricious and insecure,

that unleashed conflicts
for every little thing!

For example, because of uncomfortable shoes
or a bad haircut.

The males loved to oppress our girlfriends.

We were used as furniture
made to look

in accordance with their
perverted tastes.

By the end of patriarchy, planet earth
was in a deplorable state.

All the juices were squeezed out of mother earth.

But this couldn't go on forever.

It all started in April 2030
during the conflict between the US

and North Korea.

Scientists from Pyongyang have created a virus,
destined to destroy

all men in the US Army.

As often happens, the virus has mutated.

And in a few years destroyed almost
99 percent of the male population.

Later, students from the Starooskolsky Institute
find out that the surviving men

had mumps as a child.

The world plunged into an abyss of tears and depression.

Widowed, the female part of the Earth
grieved for a short time.

After all, they had to create a new
a better world without disease, hunger and war.

To begin with, we left
toxic cities.

And moved to small
eco-towns in the bosom of nature.

Why explore space when the world
the ocean is only three percent explored?

All forces were thrown
medicine, science and ecology.

average life expectancy
grew up to 150 years.

We banned zoos and pets.

The reservoirs were filled with fish, and the forests with game.

We managed to stop
global warming.

But, unfortunately, not everyone was comfortable
in an ideal world.

The surviving men went to drag
miserable existence

on the remnants of a former civilization,
where the next 100 years degraded,

down to the level of primates.

Due to the consequences of the virus in the world
boys have almost ceased to be born.

Maybe it's a genome error.

Or is mother earth herself afraid
for your safety. Who knows?

The film was produced with the support of
Corporation "Maternity".

Well? Does anyone have any questions?

And I heard that the savages
boys are still being born.

This is a mutation due to a virus.

And yes, they don't last long.

For thirty years.

And it's true that primates have forgotten how
talk and walk on all fours?

Cat.

What the hell is a cat?

And who then?

Crocodile.

What is he, growling?

What did I see, or what?

I have never been to the sea.

What are you snarling about then, you idiot?

Cats, by the way, growl.

Do you know what kind of cat your grandmother had?

So late at night you come home -
he looks at you like that and growls, you bastard!

No, well, tell me, fuck you
hard drive cable?

Well, you don't know what it is.

But I know that you need it.

And me this crap
already brought from near Chelyabinsk!

Therefore, a canister of moonshine.

Expensive.

Need to think.

Think.

What is this?

Oh, no, no, I'm not changing for that!

This is a wolf repeller.
He saved my life three times.

Give it to me, eh! And I to you - that crap!

And a poster.

I tear from my heart.

You'll jerk off.

Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!

Well, wish me luck, beauty!

Grandfather!

I fixed the computer.

I haven't seen in half a century
your desktop.

Here is my whole life.

Here you see? Won game.
It's called The Witcher.

I called you a hero
in honor of the main character.

Geralt of Rivia.

Cool cool! Grandfather, there is porn, huh?

Not really. Where? There is a kinchik left.

Ah, infection!

The file is damaged.

good luck. Yeah.

Max! Get out of there you fool!

And this is love?

Yes, Hera, real.

Lavrov, you are an idiot!

How he's tearing his ass for her!

Vic, marry me.

And what? I would for such
jumped off the bridge too.

Don't worry grandson.

Someday you will meet the same one.

Where? In Moscow?

Gerych!

Cut it out.

Have you fixed your computer?

- Is there any porn?
- Yes, hell swam there!

Motherboard does not plow.

Gerdos, bring the cans. Sam ends.

Yep, now.

Oh, sorry, no internet!

And what, the Internet is really so cool?

Yes, it's better than your whole life.

Why did people live
in such huge houses? It's inconvenient.

There is a theory that primates paid
excessive attention to the size of your penis.

And if he was small
they made up for it with gigantism.

For example, they bought huge cars,
yachts, built skyscrapers.

How many small penises
was in this city!

It's so primitive!

That's why we call them primates.

Well now let's go see
on them in their natural habitat.

Where? You don't see it, do you?
For the Baron - with fly agarics. His favorite.

Rides. The Baron is coming.

The Baron is coming.
- Yes.

Smoke of menthol cigarettes

Drunk frenzy shakes ...

Baron, how did you drive?

You look into the eyes of another

who caresses you

And I found another

Though I do not love, but I kiss ...

Thank you. Well done!

Brothers!

Baron!

And sisters!

A long time ago the women decided to destroy
masculine with the help of a virus.

The survivors were enslaved
and became livestock.

But on this great day 100 years ago
my grandfather was the first to escape from this prison.

Taking along a couple
heifers for breeding.

Others soon joined them.
free followers.

And together they created the perfect world.

Soryamba.

Let's drink to our new world
without restrictions or rules.

No court or law.

Happy Independence Day brothers.

And no one will encroach on our sovereignty.

Baron!

What was that word?

Sovereignty.

Sovereignty is independence.

And before that?

encroach. Encroach -
try to pick it up.

"Try to take."

- What?
- Here they are, not to try!

But that is not all.

We raked the ruins for three days
confectionery factory.

Twice fought off the wolves.

Red was bitten.

Sorry Red.

Yes. Mehno filled up with halva.

"Mehno"?

My brother!

Yes, your brother.

But they didn't die in vain.

Let's sweeten their souls.

Gera!

Cut the goose for me.

I want Peking duck for dinner.

Check out the shoe.

Found a new one.

Crocodile.

What purple! How much dirt!

Yes, girlfriends! We don't leave the bus.
We do not leave the force field.

Primates are dangerous and wild creatures.

And where are they?

They live there. Deeper.
We can't go there.

But sometimes they come out here in search of food.
or to soak up the sun.

And let's go ourselves.

No. Is it dangerous.

Oh please.

Honey, rules are made to be followed.

By the way, this is included
into the new Two Hills constitution.

Your mom is not just
it is constantly improving.

Clear. Garbage, not a tour.

Mila, what's with the primate lexicon?

Rada Yelenovna, and we thought
you are the most purple teacher.

We gave 20 social points
for this excursion.

I think you have to show us the primates.

And it's too early for you to think. I'm responsible for you.

Okay, just from me - not a single step.

Honor shoes, baron!

- Crocodile?
- Yes.

Oh, at least someone understands fashion!

Well, like this! Pass it on.

Yes, that's it. Further - not a step.

Ku-ku, la-la, chi-chi, ha-ha!

Quite bolder, drum skins!

We are like monkeys in a zoo for them.

Savages?

Primates. Well, are we back?

One more minute.

Baron, now I'll show them
who is the monkey here.

What a funny primate! Penis shows.

That's what I understand! Excursion.

This is how he greets us.
I will answer him now.

So, that's it, you don't have to provoke them.

We return. Let's. To the bus.

Where is Mila?

Honey, get on the bus.

Look what a wonderful creature!
What is this, a chicken?

It seems to be bus.

Or goose.

Don't come, or I'll whistle.

- What are you doing here?
- Gerdos, why are you screaming? Goose bitten?

We hide. Quicker.

Thank you.

Don't worry grandson. Some day
you will meet the same one.

Ladies, have a seat.

Yes, it’s a pity to even sit on such an ass!

Dont touch me.

With character.

Guys, why do you need these problems, huh?

They will be searched for.

Was there anyone here?
I didn't see anyone.

Gerdos, what are you harnessing for them?
Do you want to plant?

Yes. And what? Two at once.

And what? I have never had this.

You never had one.

Hera, you know our rules.

And I'm ready to fight.

Does anyone else apply for them?

I.

Edik, well, where am I?
You already have two wives.

You saw them? Three teeth for two.

Give the kid a chance. Let the first hit.

Powerful. Like drisney on the toilet!

What is this, like I'm a toilet?

It took off great!

Well? Warm up? Come on beat.

What have you done, you bastard?

Baron, Baron!

Run.

Where are you going?

They were having fun.

Fast.

- Grandfather!
- What's happened?

They want to kill me.

Where is Gera?

Jumped out the window. What happened?

Behind him.

Up the stairs, you idiots!

What about moonshine? Baron said:
"In the evening - delivery."

There are those two barrels.

Take the barrels.

What, are you crazy?
There is less and less plastic every day.

Think about tomorrow.

Somehow it doesn't stop.

Do not be scared! Now it will break.

Why did we stop?

Dear seed keeper,
The car needs a battery replacement.

I will speak.

Stop. Or I'll whistle.

We are... Technical service.

The batteries have arrived.

This is the first time I've seen a primate so close!

What do you want to take a closer look at?

Larisa, the batteries are installed.

Thank you, technical service.

Have you opened your mouth, fat?

I couldn't resist.

Cool chick!

Humor lesson number five. Pun.

Basics. For example, I will morse
from a berry, and you from a grape.

Morse.

Stop or I'll whistle.

Do not do it, Please.
I won't do anything to you.

Of course you won't. I have a whistle.

Who are you?
And what are you doing in the battery?

I checked the serviceability from the inside.

Listen, can you get out of here?

Yes. Larisa, open the door.

The speed of movement is 90 kilometers per hour.

Can you stop the car?

She is on autopilot.
But near the city we will drive more slowly.

OK.

Let's wait.

Larisa, close the door.

And what are you drinking?

Moonshine.

What is it?

And this is such a drink.

It makes him warm from the inside.

And pour me some.

What an abomination!

Fifty years old and acting like a child.

Canceled - you'll know.

- Do you remember Katya Belko?
- Mom, what's she got to do with it?

And despite the fact that you have one foot
on this path, my dear!

Conflict. Participants - Rada and Elena.

The probability of violence is three percent.

A security call is not required.

Yes, just shut up.

- Hi all.
- Hello, grandma.

Do you already know what she threw out?

Daughter, men and women have always been drawn to
to each other.

And you talk about it so calmly?

Yes, they could be killed, kidnapped, raped.

Mom, you messed up the order.

There first to steal,
then rape.

And then… Okay.

Are you funny?

And me then the mother of the city
calls to the sofa.

Where do you get gasoline from?
on these idiotic stocks?

Echo of war.

And this one is funny.

It's all your influence.

Mom, that's enough.

Maybe you should have influenced
than to sit out a dress in the offices?

The participants in the conflict are Zoya and Elena.

The probability of violence is 20 percent.

You can call the security service.

OK.

I'll go, perhaps.

By the way, this is for you.

Some insisted that for a day
birthdays give gifts.

Thanks, mom.

This is the new Lily of the Valley 6S.

Tell me what kind of boy did you meet?

Yes, common primacy.

True, you know
there was no aggression in him.

He protected us and risked his life.

He never even showed his penis.

Real men in my time
were exactly like that. Well, handsome boy?

I don't know, what's this about?

Well, how can a primate be beautiful?

You are in vain. There used to be a lot
handsome men!

Ilyich!

No, that primate was prettier!

Hera, here you are like a primate, but purple.

Real, not plastic.

Here you comb and dress -

and you can go to the keepers of the seed.

And who is this?

It's me.

Well, not only me.
There is also Kai, Solomon, Seryoga.

And what are you doing?

We continue the human race.

Women simply wear us in their arms.

Do you want to play the prefix,
you want a testicular massage.

And if you want - all together.

Any food, any clothes.

And a lot of you?

Well, ten people per city.

But now they are transferring me to Two Hills.
The caretaker retired there.

And how are you coping?

You have to always be in shape.

So my job is to be rested.

Okay, let's drink.

Don't be so hard on yourself! Still 45 degrees.

Don't care what angle this drink has.

I feel great!

And I have so much love
that would be enough for the whole planet!

Dear Julius, in your body
found to be intoxicated.

Hey, stay away!

I am the keeper of the seed.

Don't let me have fun.

Larisa, open the door.

I am the overlord...

Dear seed keeper,
we are approaching the town of Two Hills.

Get ready for a friendly
border inspection.

Glad to see you at Two Hills.

Where is your ring?

I broke it by accident.

You know what happens.

Let's just say you lost it.

Tomorrow they will give you a new one.

And maybe I'm lucky ...

Yes, sure.

I'm just very superstitious.

Welcome to Two Hills.

I'll be a fruit drink from a berry, and you,
probably out of greed?

Well, what are you, friend?

I keep thinking.

Why is grandma so furious
resists our world?

Maybe in those days
Was it really not that bad?

Yeah. Wars, famines, mountains of rubbish,
mating people.

I think your grandmother is not herself.

You didn't think it was time
upload to the cloud?

Oh, the new sperm tank has arrived!

Glad!

I'm sorry, great
and respected keeper of the seed.

Dear seed keeper,
I am Vera Nadezhdovna.

Mother of this city.

We warmly welcome you to Two Hills.

Tasty.

Julius, a few words for the channel "Two Hills 24".

Hi all.

Thanks for the invitation.

I will not let you down. And, so to speak,

let's make healthy and beautiful kids!

Already seven. How time flies!

Love you.

And I.

Have you brought moonshine?

Yes.

Curling up.

Enough for today.
Julius is tired from the road.

No, no, I'm not tired.

I'm ready for anything.

Meet your colleagues.

Our pride.

Okay, settle down for now.

What to pull?

I'm ready to get down to business.

Well, usually keepers prefer
rest a couple of days before donating the seed.

It's not about me.

You - here.

Are you not coming with me?

Who you are"?

Well, you.

Inside you will be shown everything.
Happy donation!

Take off panties.

Something I got tired.

Don't worry my good one!

Lyuba will manage in a couple of minutes.

Jump in.

- Went. Go, bastard!
Nothing, he'll be back soon.

If not, I'm smitten with it
I'll get it out of the ground!

Drink. Please.

Oh, it's that chick!