All language subtitles for the-etruscan-smile-2018-720p-1080p-bluray-x264-getit

Alright, ready?

Hope they're not on your
ferry out tomorrow morning.

I hear the whiskey in America
tastes like water.

tastes like water.

Let's hope this drink finishes
your liver off for good.

Oh, come off it, MacNeil.

Everyone knows, whatever you've got

it's bad.

When you get on that ferry tomorrow

we'll be seeing the back of you

- forever.
- Don't you worry.

Christmas Eve, I'll be pissing
on the flowers of your grave.

Drinks for everyone!

On me!

Tonight, we celebrate the demise
of Rory MacNeil

who's going to die far, far away.

Like an old dog crawling
into a dark hole

deep in the ground to die.

- Give it back.
- Come and get it, cripple!

- Oh, not again.

We're not done, you and I.

Drop dead already Campbell.

Only after you...

Old man!

Fraser...

I'll give you some for the journey.

After that, you need
to see your doctor.

Well, that's why I have you.

No, no, I'm cutting you off.

These pills are used
to treat the horses.

I'm a vet, for Christ's sake.

Well, I'm an old horse

racing towards the finishing line.

It is a line you may not cross

unless you get on that flight
and get some help.

Now, if you want to outlive Campbell,
you will listen to me.

Oh, maybe I should just stick
the old bastard with my knife

and then there'll be no need for me
to fly to America.

Don't start that again.

I'm not going.

Dad!

Dad! Hey!

Can we get you a taxi, sir?

Can I get you a taxi?

- Hm?
- You speak English?

Can I get you a ride into the city?

- Aye.
- Here, let me take that.

Right this way.

Rory? Rory!

You.

Where are you going?

You never showed up.

Can you give my dad his suitcase please?

Is this your son, sir?

Let's go, I'm parked in the lot.

The bloody lights of the city
outshine the stars.

What's that, Dad?

Nothing, just admiring your city.

Oh, made you something.

You remember how you used to love
to ride those horses

down on Donovan's farm?

I do.

I mean, I did love that.

Maybe we can give it to Jamie?

- Who?
- Jamie, our baby.

Oh, yes.

How is the wee lassie?

Jamie's a boy.

Of course.

So Emily and I were wondering
what finally dragged you

off the island.

It was time to see you,
I told you on the phone.

You can't smoke in here, Dad.

It's a smoke-free environment.

Smoke-free what?

Smoking'll kill you, Dad.

Or hasn't the memo reached Vallasay yet?

Life'll kill ya.

This is it.

I'd rather take the stairs,
where are they?

- Back that way.

A man should always be able
to walk into his own house.

We're on the 19th floor, Dad.

Never mind.

Em's dad knew someone on the condo board

otherwise... well, we'd never
have been approved.

Approved?

Yeah, it's how you get into
one of these places, Dad.

Well, let's just keep them guessing
for another 24 hours.

- OK? Thank you, bye.

Oh, we're so happy
to finally have you here.

Why are you whispering?

Oh, I just put Jamie back to sleep.

He's such a light sleeper and uh...

I know you're probably dying to see him.

Is it OK if we do that tomorrow?

Oh, oh, well... aye.

Great, yeah, the tenth month
is the most crucial

for developing, like, a really
healthy sleeping pattern

- so...

Oh... I got that conference
call in two minutes.

Oh, Ian, also, Frida just
could not get the bed open.

- So...
- That's fine, I'll do it.

Thank you.

Once again, really so, so
happy you're here, Dad.

Why is she calling me "Dad"?

It's an American thing. Come on,
let's get you sorted.

Emily's dad has boxes at the ball park.

You should come. It's cool.

Cool.

So, Emily...

she still works at the hospital?

Not anymore. She's got her own firm now.

Why?

You remember Doc Fraser?

Sure.

Well, he swore me to get a medical check-up

while I'm here.

- Is everything OK?
- Oh, fine.

Fit as a fiddle.

Just a wee pain in the back, that's all.

Anyhow, anything to stop the old bugger

from getting his gallices in a fangle.

Keep him calm, you know.

Yeah, we can arrange that.

Oh, that'll be grand.

So, the bathroom's down the hall, and...

I'll see you in the morning.

Uh, Ian...

I'm glad to see you again.

Maybe I should just take a peek.

- Make sure he's OK.
- No, Ian.

Remember what the sleep consultant said?

No, I know, I know.

He has to feel the success
of soothing himself back to sleep

but come on!

He didn't come here to see us.

- What?
- Dad.

He doesn't give a crap about us.

Didn't even care if he saw Jamie.

You saw how he reacted.

I think he just didn't wanna wake him up.

I thought he was being very thoughtful.

Thoughtful? Where was he
when Jamie was born?

He never even replied to any
of the messages I sent him.

Let alone bought him a present
or sent a card.

Well, why do you think he came then?

He wants to see a doctor.

Muck!

I haven't seen the man
for 15 years and...

he comes here to couch-surf
and scrounge a free medical.

Give him a little
bit more credit, Ian.

I'm sure he didn't come all this way
just to see a doctor.

Oh...

You've got a fine set
of lungs on you, laddie.

I'll grant you that.

I was thinking, we don't even need plates

we just use the table as a canvas

and then watch everyone try
to wrap their heads round

how to eat it, yeah.

Yeah. I know!

Alright.

Wait for me to try out
the new centrifuge, will you?

Yeah, I'm on my way.

No breakfast?

This is breakfast.

You're off to the laboratory?

Kitchen.

I'm a sous-chef at White River.

- It's a restaurant.
- Didn't you study chemistry?

I specialise in what's called
molecular gastronomy, Dad.

How'd you sleep?

Oh, like your baby.

Sorry about that,
we're sleep training him.

Emily not breast-feeding then?

- No. She wanted to.
- Aye...

but she does have breasts?

- Dad!
- Good morning.

There you are, Dad. I hope
you slept well.

Um, oh! I wanted to let you know
I went ahead

and made an appointment
for you with a doctor

and I scheduled that for tomorrow.
Is that OK?

Oh, I see. Ian told you.

Ah, well, you know, it's nothing serious.

I think Jamie is starving.

I'm on it. I'm on it!

Honey...

- Oh, here we are.

Hey, baby.

Good boy.

Look who came to see you.

Yeah, Grandpa came to see you. Yeah.

- Grandpa came to see you.
- Alright, look. I've gotta go.

- OK...
- Here you go.

There we go.

- Oh.

Do you wanna hold him?

While I grab that, I...

I'm late for that call,
they keep bothering me.

- Oh.
- There we go, see, look.

Yeah, oh.

- OK...
- Oops! Hello?

No, around the other...

There you go. No, no, it's OK, baby.

No, not you. Hold on, I'm gonna
put you on hold for a second.

- Alright, you'll be fine.

Frida!

Can you keep an extra
close eye on him with Jamie?

- Great, thank you.
- Here, here, here.

- It's OK, mi amor.

Come, come, my love.

Come, come.

It's your beard. He's scared.

- Oh.

Please, senor, not pick him up.

I wasn't going to.

Hi. Hi, my love!

Hi, my love.

Why shouldn't I pick him up?

After all, he is my grandson.

- He needs to work.
- Babies don't work.

Emily says he's behind his cross-crawl.

He needs to practise.

- Come!

He must learn how to be autonomous.

Och, nonsense!

- Good job!

Emily did research.

Och, come on, bairn.

Man up!

- Man up!

Oh, for fuck's sake!

Only one way across enemy territory!

What are you doing?

There you go.

And how is your day today, sir?

Give me the bloodiest thing you've got.

Mm.

Mm.

You want some, hm?

Are you man enough?

Mm.

Ooh, yeah?

Oh, he's a MacNeil alright!

Dad?

Dad, where have you been?

I was out two hours looking for you.

- You had us worried sick.
- I took the boy for a stroll.

What? You can't just
pick him up and leave, Dad.

We had no way of contacting you.
You didn't even take any food.

I fed him. You think
I'd starve my own grandson?

You're not hungry?

I thought Emily made it clear,
they were not to be left alone.

Who's she to chaperone me?

I'm his grandfather.

You just wait until Emily gets back.

You better hope she doesn't send you
on the next flight

back to Glasgow.

So she's the one wearing
the pants around here.

If you've got something to say to me,
say it in English.

How's about this for English?

Get the hell out of here
while I have a piss!

You have no idea what
he's been like.

Alright, well...

- let me handle it this time, OK?
- Good luck with that.

God, he always shaves when
he wants to impress a woman.

It's ridiculous.

All ready for my scolding now.

Why don't we have a seat?

So, did you...

- enjoy your afternoon with Jamie?
- Och!

We had a ball.

Well, you had us all a bit...

- worried.
- Ah.

But, I'd like to apologise.

You must be overwhelmed

exhausted, and uh...

we have not been as attentive
as we should have been.

- Right, Ian?
- What?

You're joking.

And I apologise for that and hope
that you're not offended.

Not at all.

Apology accepted.

Good.

Also...

I have something for you

to help us communicate better.

Wow.

Yeah.

Actually, I've taken the liberty

of including you into Jamie's calendar.

Hm.

Great, that's...

all settled then.

I'm gonna go say goodnight to Jamie.

Uh, one thing I couldn't help notice...

the boy's got his own room.

Why doesn't he sleep with you
like it's always been done?

Well, what we've learned

is that to develop a healthy attachment

babies need to learn

- to become...
- Autonomous.

Right.

Autonomous.

I can't take it anymore.

- I'm going, I'm...
- Ian, please, just...

let it go.

See?

By the book.

Your seanair is here.

Do you know what seanair means?

Aye? That's Gaelic for Grandpa.

Emily worked really hard to get you in.

It's an excellent hospital,
one of the best in the world.

Ah? Americans, aye,
think they're the best.

That's why they need good hospitals.

For all the shite they eat

and all the filthy air they breathe.

Try not to say anything like that

at the gala this evening, will you?

It's the truth.

Truth or not, they don't like it
when you say

what you really think about things here.

Hm, if I said what I really thought...

And we're done.

How bad is it?

Well, we need to check your...

scans and your samples,
so it'll take a few days

but from what I've seen

you've got the heart of a 50-year-old.

I wish Campbell were here to hear that.

- Who's Campbell, your son?
- No, worse.

I couldn't believe it either!

It was the funniest thing
that I've seen all year...

Here we go. Cheers.

What can I get for you tonight, sir?

We've got an array of molecular specialities.

We've got "Love in the Asylum"

"Blood On The Tracks",
"Smoke Gets In Your Eyes".

Just give me something that
will burn my throat as it goes down.

OK.

Decadence.

Interchangeability.

It bores me, to be honest.

All that mystery when
I was growing up, just gone.

Nothing left to wonder at these days.

Is it like that where you're from too?

Where I come from...

a woman is a woman

and she doesn't need to prove it.

- Here you go, sir.

Slàinte!

Same to you.

What the hell is this?

"Smoke Gets In Your Eyes"

it'll give you that burn
you're looking for.

Smoke gets in my bollocks
is more like it.

I had a feeling I'd like you.

- You did?
- I did.

- Dad.
- Hey, honey!

God, you look great.

Thank you. Are you being impossible?

No!

How did you two find each other here?

Process of elimination.

It's called a clan tartan or something,
isn't it?

Oh, aye, these colours have been
in the family

for, oh, well over 200 years.

It's beautiful. It's just what
we need to spice up this event.

Good for you.

You know, you two should
really try Ian's food.

It's really exciting.

Um, anyway.

Um, I will check on you two in a bit.

- OK. Knock 'em dead.
- Thanks.

What we wouldn't do for them, eh, Rory?

Who?

Our children.

Oh, aye, aye, aye.

Probably, aye.

Are you ready to come up?

It never turns out exactly
how I pictured it in my mind.

Hey.

Seriously.

I am so proud of you.

I mean, just look at everything.

It's just you and your vision.

Enjoy it, Ian.

Even your dad now knows
what a brilliant chef you are.

My dad?

Is that what he said?

Why don't you come ask him yourself?

This stuff is celestial.

Oh!

And this from one of
San Francisco's famous foodies!

I'm impressed.

Mm... oh!

That's surprising.

I thought it was an egg.

Well, that's molecular for you.

My son, he makes these?

Well, he does now. Watch and learn.

Oh, God, oh!

Are you OK?

Look who I managed
to drag out of the kitchen.

Oh! Stunning job, Ian.
We're all very, very impressed.

The tux pants not your size, Dad?

Oh, a man in a kilt is a man
and a half, laddie.

And you should know that.

Listen, everybody, I would
actually like to propose

a toast.

I just wanna say that

it's such a privilege to be
standing here at this event

that was so tastefully
and elegantly prepared

by my very own daughter.

- Dad, you don't have to...
- No, honey.

Let me blow your horn for a minute, OK?

You're always plugging everybody else.

Your mum.

if she could see how you've grown up...

And to my son-in-law, Ian.
I just want to say that, uh...

we're all flabbergasted at your...

bold and unexpected metamorphosis

from chemist to cook.

So, no more of that sous-chef bullshit.

From now on, Ian is going
to be wearing the chef's hat

in his very own restaurant.

I made the first down payment this morning.

- You didn't!
- I did!

Cheers.

I've set up a meeting for you
with a guy named Jeff Stradlow.

He's the best there is.

He's gonna handle
the business end of things.

All you have to do is walk in
and do your thing.

That is just so surprising.

I mean, we had no idea!

It's really exciting.

Oh, wow, yeah. I don't know what to say.

- No worries.
- I think he means

to say thank you.

Of course, sorry. Thank you,
thank you so much.

Come on. Here, give us a hug. Come on!

Come on! Partners.

Here we go, that's my boy.

Hey, Dad, next time you come

you'll be a guest at my own restaurant.

The best way to tame your horse...

is to shoot his balls off.

What'd he just say?

I'm not sure, my Gaelic's a bit rusty.

I've gotta get back to the kitchen.

Well, I saw something very similar
in New York.

Is that where you're from?

It is, originally...

Oh!

Don't touch it please, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry. I never meant any harm...

Woah, please.

Terracotta is a very sensitive material.

It's a miracle they survived at all.

That smile, huh?

They look as if they're having a right ball,
those two.

It's a burial tomb.

This is how the Etruscans
pictured their dead.

- They don't look dead to me.
- Why?

You can't die with a smile?

I don't think I've ever had
a conversation with a man...

in a kilt, before.

Ah...

Doesn't go down big in San Francisco,
I think.

No, it's... it's a great look.

So is yours.

Better than those ladies back there.

Huge fake tits to go with
their huge fake smiles.

If you know what I mean.

Do you come here often?

I work here.

Well, maybe I'll come again.

- In the daytime.
- You should.

We have guided tours.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Don't touch.

I won't.

This is one of the world's

three great natural harbours

right in the heart of downtown.

Over there, you can see Treasure Island.

It was a military base until 2008

when they finally started letting civilians...

Are you Ian MacNeil?

- Yes.
- Is this your father?

What did he do?

Armed robbery.

I understand he's not from around here

so I'm gonna let this one slide.

Be sure to tell your father

that we don't allow nude swimming
in public spaces.

Thank you, officer. We appreciate that.

You have a good night.

Thank you, officer.

It was lovely to spend the evening with you.

Pleasure meeting you, sir.

A very nice man.

Telephone for you, senor.

For me?

Si.

Who could it be?

Who even knows I'm here...?

Hello?

Fraser, you old sod!

You don't say.

Frida!

Campbell.

Liver failure!

Oh, good news!

Oh, he's dying, he's dying, he's dying!

Yes, yes, yes! He's going to die first,
laddie!

And then I'm going back to Vallasay

and you're gonna come with me.

You'll taste the liquor and the meat

of real men!

Mm.

Tonight, we celebrate.

Is that Mum's stew?

My stew.

Don't you remember? I always
used to cook it up

on special occasions.

- It was you?
- Aye.

Wow!

What's all this?

Dad's cooked a celebratory dinner.

Sit down...

and dig in.

It's hot.

See? He's coming around.

You should try it, it's Dad's recipe.

This is delicious.

Ah.

I know that knife.

It was supposed to be yours
but you didn't want it.

It's not that I didn't want it.
I was just too young.

Too feared.

Well, I'm old enough now.

This belongs to Jamie.

I'm gonna hold it till he's older.

That is delicious.

Then you'll love the blood sausage.

It's no black pudding, but
it's the closest thing

- to...
- Uh, don't bother.

Even I can't stand black pudding.

Oh, come on!

You used to love it when you

- were a bairn.
- Dad, I don't like it...

Come on, come on. Come on, son!

Celebrate with me, hm?

I've never felt better in my life.

I reckon, no more doctors.

What are you talking about?

The old prick is gonna die first.

- Campbell?
- Ha, ha!

Yes. Got the news this morning.

From Fraser.

So we owe this visit of yours...

- to Campbell?
- Uh-huh.

Wait, who's Campbell?

What is it this time?

Which one of you kicks the bucket first?

Oh.

You'll never change, Dad.

Mum was right.

If it was up to you, nothing
in this world would ever change.

Change? What for?

By the way, we're celebrating a dying man.

Well, I was hoping that we were...

celebrating your restaurant.

So did I.

Stupidly. But no, all of this...

this is for Alasdair Campbell
who's now apparently dying.

- Hallelujah.
- According to my dad

he's devoted his entire life
to this very moment.

It was your dog he poisoned.

No one knows that for sure, Dad!

Shh! Jamie.

You wanna know something about my dad?

When we found my dog,
Angus, dead in the yard

I wanted to bury the poor fellow
like he deserved.

But no, you thought otherwise,
didn't you?

No, you let him rot!

And then he carried his decayed carcass

and put it on Campbell's doorstep.

Why would you do that?

That's how it works in Vallasay,
it's called a feud.

Don't blame me.

- I didn't start it.
- Oh, of course not.

Nothing to do with you!

No say in the matter whatsoever!

You're just an innocent heir to a rivalry

which no MacNeil or Campbell
has been able to settle

since 1764, when Muriall MacNeil

broke off her engagement
to Lachlan Campbell!

Legend has it, Muriall got a sneak peak

under Campbell's kilt
and didn't like what she saw.

So then the Campbells went and castrated

all of the MacNeil cattle.

Of course, the MacNeils
couldn't let that go unpunished

could they? Etc, etc, etc...

Well, I'm glad you remember it
after all these years.

He always had better things to do
than to help his old dad.

All you ever did was take
the piss out of me

- and call me "a little coward"!
- Then!

Then, he upped sticks and left Vallasay.

Thought it was beneath him.

I didn't run away, Dad!

I got a scholarship to Berkley!

What was I supposed to do?

Spend my life playing your bloody games?

Little coward!

It wasn't the scholarship.

That wasn't why you left Vallasay.

You're right, Dad.

It wasn't Vallasay that I left.

It was you.

Aye. You did.

And now...

Now you're one of them. Spoilt rotten.

You teach your son to be autonomous!

But you're still a bairn

playing with your chemistry set.

And it's too late!

Too late to teach you how to be a man!

It's the blind leading
the fucking blind around here

my boy.

To them...

the stars are invisible
in San Francisco.

Lucky, you have me around

to guide you.

Oh, you've never seen
a sky more beautiful

than the one in Vallasay.

The old prick is enjoying it right now

but he'll be gone soon enough

and then, my boy...

Then it'll be you and I

gazing at the stars together.

Generally speaking, you are
in excellent condition

for your age, except of course...

what brings you here.

There is no easy way to say this.

Your PET and CT scans confirm

that you have stage four prostate cancer.

And how many stages are there?

Four.

The appropriate medical term
is "metastasised" prostate cancer.

At this stage, chemotherapy
is not recommended

- or effective...

And in these cases...

we prescribe oxycodone for the bone pain

as well as hormonal treatments.

We need to get shots once a week.

Now, sir, do you understand
what I have just said?

How long do I have?

That is so hard to say

and I'm reluctant to give
these kinds of estimations

since they tend to be a calculated guess

- at best...
- Guess then.

I would rather not.

A week, months, a year?

- Less than a year?
- Sir, please.

There are so many variables to factor,
as I said

you are in excellent physical condition.

Why don't you just give me
a bloody number?

- OK, um... thank you, Doctor.
- No, wait.

I haven't finished yet.

Can I ask you a question?

Yes, yes, of course.

How long does it take to die
from cirrhosis of the liver?

Someone my age had it
about five years.

Can't walk without a cane.

Yellow in the face
for the past few months.

They say he might have liver failure.

Sir, do you expect me to answer
this seriously?

Hm. Just what I thought.

You're good for nothing.

There we go, oh, ah! Oh!

- What did you do?

What the hell are you talking about?

I got a message from Emily
to come home immediately

so I had to leave service again.

It's like being in Groundhog Day.

Oh, it's not my fault
that doctor's an idiot.

You went to the doctor again today?

Yeah, got cancer, stage four.

Eh, whatever the hell that means.

What did he say? W-what...

- exactly did he say?
- He didn't say anything!

That hack couldn't make a clear sentence

if his life depended upon it.

But he used the word "cancer".

- Yeah.
- Dad!

Oh, I'm fine, Ian.

Don't fuss over me.

We've got to have
our super-fun time together.

Haven't we, Jamie? We've got plans!

Yeah, haven't we Jamie, boy? Eh?

Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. Are you OK?

Will you watch where you're going?

Stop!

Stop!

Are you alright?

Jamie... Christ!

Stupid, stupid, stupid old man!

Oh, my...

Oh, hey, hey, hey!

That's, that's my grandson.

- Oh, it's you!
- Uh-huh!

Are you crazy, leaving
a baby alone like this?

I lost my head, I got, I got...

I got pickpocketed like
some pathetic tourist.

So you left your grandson
to chase after your wallet?

You're lucky I'm the one that found him.

What would I have done? I-I...

I'm new to all this.

Oh look, I think he likes you, you know.

He's beginning to play.

- You can have him back now.
- Uh-huh.

There we are. Oh, it's good
to have you safe and sound, eh?

Safe and sound, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, you're leaving?

Yes, babysitting hours are up
and I've got actual work to do.

But we've come all this way!

And you promised us a guided tour.

Uh... Claudia.

Uh, Rory MacNeil, by the way
and this here is Jamie MacNeil.

Yes, well, guided tours
are in the morning, sir

and, um, I'm not a guide.

Mm... come on, laddie.

I think we've got some actual work to do.

Hm?

Why do they make them so damn ugly?

Wait a minute, are you...

really interested, or are...

you just messing with me?

Course I'm interested.

Well, the Romans considered it
a sign of character

not to camouflage your blemishes.

Your scars and your wrinkles

were your badge of experience.

You don't say.

Oh.

Mr MacNeil?

Are you OK?

I think I'm having a wee turn.

- Shall we call the paramedics?
- I dunno.

Are you feeling alright, Rory?

Are you OK, sir?

I'm still here, prick

- What? What?
- I think he's speaking Gaelic.

Has this ever happened to you before?

What can I say?

I must have overdone it
on the whiskey last night.

Ahem. Er, if you don't mind my asking...

was that Gaelic you were speaking?

Aye, what's it to you?

I've been taking part in a study
over at the university

about endangered languages.

They would just love you over there.

And they would pay you, of course.

Don't need the money.

It's not really about the money.

It's for future generations.

I'll do it...

if you come.

What, are you asking me out on a date?

Oh, no, no, not at all. It's not a date.

Did you not hear the man?

It's for future generations.

Isn't that right, Jamie? Hm?

You don't know what it feels like yet...

to love a woman.

But some day, Jamie...

Some day.

Och, it's not time to die!

You know?

When your stars are aligned in your favour.

Ah...

He was coughing.

I just popped in to check.

Yeah, me too.

Right.

Goodnight, then.

Goodnight, Dad.

There might be some pain and nausea

during these days of treatments

so don't be afraid to let us know.

Afraid?

Of pain?

Oh, there's a lot you don't know
about Scotsmen.

I suggest you go home now
and take a good rest.

Dad?

Dad? Hey!

What're you doing here?

I thought I'd come and get you.

You asked me to ring if I needed anything.

Well, how can you do that without this?

I'm fine.

Come on, Dad, get in. You must be exhausted.

I do have plans of my own, you know?

Rory, basically it's very simple

we need you to speak in Gaelic

the way you speak in everyday life.

It's important that you don't try to speak

perfect textbook Gaelic

because we're really interested
in your specific dialect.

of Hebridean Gaelic.

So, what do you want me to say?

Well, say anything, uh...

Pretend like you're on a date
with a beautiful woman.

Well...

My name is Rory MacNeuil.

You have a nice smile.

It's the sweetest thing
I've seen so far in his entire country.

I really like...

your breasts.

I'd like to lay my head there forever.

You'll find out I'm a devil in the sack

You can always count on me

to be true, and Diongmhalt.

Well, I did get the part about
you loving the woman's breasts

and your being, uh...

a demon in bed?

A devil.

Yeah.

Diongmhalt. I had trouble
understanding that in context.

Were you saying that people could always

count on you to be stubborn?

That's not what it means at all.

Diongmhalt is holding
the line of battle

no matter what.

Ah, so it's more about commitment.

English have words for all kinds of shite

but they never have words for
what really matters.

Diongmhalt is diongmhalt.

Diongmhalt!

Am I saying it right?

- Yes.
- Diongmhalt.

This is great stuff.

Whit's fur ye will no go by ye.

Whit's fur ye'll...

Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye...

It mean, what's meant to happen to you,
will happen.

Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye...

Oh, we'll have you talking
like a real Scotswoman.

Hell, you should come to Vallasay.

- You'd fool them all.
- Hm...

What would a woman like me do
in a place like that?

I don't know, I...

I am such a city girl.

Oh, there's lots of fun things
to do in Vallasay.

Oh, yeah? Like what?

Och, well...

I go for a swim

outside my house every morning.

Och, you should see the water.

So crisp and sparkling.

When I come out, I'm as alert as a tiger

nothing can get by me.

At night time, I go to the pub

and have a few pints and a laugh
with my mates.

Well, it sounds pretty idyllic.

What?

Nothing.

You know there's an ocean here too, Rory.

And San Francisco is a beautiful city

if you give it a chance.

Maybe I would...

if I had a beautiful woman
like you to show me around.

- Si, senora?
- On the diapers...

The fours are a little bit snug
on him now

so you're gonna wanna pick up
some of the fives.

- Si, senora.
- Now is a good time

- to jumpstart...
- You see?

...his language skills.

With a little practice, it works.

Right. But remember, no baby talk.

- Si, senora.
- You want to keep it narrative.

Things like, "Oh, now
I'm chopping vegetables

for the soup," or "Now
I'm filling out my online

- registration form."
- Si, senora.

Bag? Where is my bag?

- I'll get it.
- Great.

Who's this?

- Who's this?
- Jamie, honey.

Jamie, honey, Mummy has
to go on a work trip

for just a couple days.

- OK?

You gonna be good for Frida
and good for Grandpa?

Si...

He said, "Yes"!

Yes! You said, "Yes".

Oh, honey.

Oh...

I'm sorry I gotta go to work just
as you're learning to talk.

You don't say another word
till Mummy gets back, OK?

Gotta go now, I'm sorry.

I'll see you in a few days, Rory.

Keep going, mm...

Say "Seanair."

Seanair.

The day you say it, you'll give me life.

- Seanair.

Rory!

I'm just finishing up, I'll be right down.

You're from North Korea, huh?

I once asked my friend from North Korea
what it was like.

He said, "I can't complain".

- What's your name, sir?
- Rory.

What's with the accent?

Are you a Scotsman?

Aye, and a proud one.

Brief history of Scotland,
pre-historic sheep, baa!

What about the kilts?

They won't hear the zippers
when we sneak up on 'em!

- How'd I do?
- Oh, not bad.

That's what I love
about the Scottish people.

They're so drunk, they'll
laugh at everything.

If I was drunk, I'd be coming up there
and joining you.

So what brought you out from that rock

in the middle of the Atlantic to here?

Are you here to steal our women?

Are you here to roger a few bonnie lasses?

Stage four cancer.

When did you know?

Uh, for a while.

Just...

after I met you.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well, I'd understand why you wouldn't

want to be with a dying man.

Well, that's not the point.
I just wish you felt that you...

could be open with me.

But it's nothing to do with you.

Did you know that Jamie started talking?

That's great.

He... he said "si".

That's Spanish for "yes".

Genius, eh?

I wouldn't know, I don't have children.

You know what, I... I'm not...

I'm not feeling up to this.

What do you mean?

I'm tired.

It has nothing to do with you.

Goodnight, Rory.

Because you can't make a statement
with a steak!

It's just not what I'm about.

Hey, I'm just looking out
for you here, buddy.

Right? I mean, that's what
they brought me in to do.

You'll see the materials alone in this...
what do you call it?

- Tasting the beach?
- Walking the beach.

"Walking the beach", right.

I mean, that'd knock us over budget
before we...

Oh, don't mind me.

I'm just passing through.

I've seen how it works at White River.

And they're booked up a year in advance.

Ian, the thing is...

you don't have a cooking show on Bravo.

- Yet.
- Being a chef is not just about

giving people what they think they want.

It's about opening their minds up to
what they didn't even know

- they were longing for.
- Ian.

I'm with you, right?
We'll just keep dialoguing

till we work out the little kinks, yeah?

To the future.

Good. I'll send the contracts
over to you tomorrow.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Oh, mind your own business, Dad.

You might as well have a drink.

Oh, pour me one then.

One drink a day...

...keeps the doctor away.

So, you haven't forgotten
all your Gaelic.

Ah, I've heard it so many times
I could say it in my sleep.

That...

is the closest thing
to Vallasay round here.

What do you think about my food, Dad?

Look, son...

When I take a bite at something

I don't expect it to bite back.

- So you hate it then?
- No, that's not what I said.

I'm a simple man and
I have simple tastes.

Ah, well. You never really
understood anything I did.

But at least I'm not a hypocrite
like Emily's father.

Who spat it out

and kissed your arse afterwards.

Don't have a go at Frank

- just because he's...
- Ian.

Believe me in this.

Life's too short to give a fuck

about what an old fool like me
or a pompous ass like Frank

thinks about your food.

Do what you love while you can

before you've got one foot in the grave

and it's too late.

Dad...

Drink up, boy.

Brave lad, brave lad!

That's it! That's it!

Good boy.

You can do it. That's it.

Come on!

Oh!

- Oh!

Well done, eh? Now...

This'll be one of our secrets, yeah?

We will not tell a soul, OK?

- Yes. Yes.

Good boy.

Ah, yes. Come on now.

Let's cuddle up.

Oh, Dad, Dad, Dad! Wake up! Look, look!

- What the hell are you doing?
- I'm filming him.

Put that damn thing away!

Just look, with your eyes!

Come on.

Oh, come here, fella!

Oh, look at you! You champion!

How did he get out of bed?

I don't know, I was asleep.

What, you slept here?

Well, I don't think any of us
slept in our beds last night.

I see that you are responding
very well to the treatments.

At this stage, the fact
that you're still active

and having a regular day-to-day life
is a small miracle.

You still haven't told me when.

You just wanna beat the guy

with the liver problems, don't you?

- How's he getting along?
- Oh, great.

Great, almost dead.

- But it's...

it's not really about that.

Um...

Do you have any grandchildren?

Oh, yes. Yeah, I do.

These two little rascals.

- I really...

really want to hear my grandson
call me "Seanair".

Two months.

Maybe three.

That should be enough.

Does that work, usually?

Does what work?

Apologising...

with flowers.

Oh.

I wouldn't know. This is my first time.

Actually, when I think about it...

I don't believe I've apologised
to a woman ever.

- At all.

Look, Rory...

I like you, I do.

I don't think this is going to work.

I mean, maybe if we had met...

some other time, like 30 years ago

but I'm not really looking
for a relationship now, and...

You're...

Dying.

I know.

I should have told you
about the cancer, I'm sorry.

Well...

I've got...

three months at best.

But this is me, no camouflage

full of scars and wrinkles
like your Roman pals.

Maybe it's too late for laughs, but...

I really want you to be in my life.

Whatever's left of it.

You don't have to answer right now.

So I shall...

put these stupid flowers here

and I'll...

- be on my way.
- They're not stupid.

Now you know my secret.

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

I'm just saying that

I know that you understand
what I'm trying to do

but Jeff, it's as if he doesn't...

care who I am or about my vision.

Wait till you see what I got planned
for Jamie's birthday.

Nothing but the best for that kid.

The same goes for you too, Ian.

Jeff Stradlow knows exactly
what he's doing.

That's why I chose him.

Listen, Frank, I'm not
questioning your judgement

I'm just saying that maybe
we should find me a partner

who's inspired by what inspires me.

You know what? If I'm gonna
invest in art

I'll buy a painting I can
hang on the wall

and then resell for a fortune.

Not something that turns to shit

and gets flushed down the toilet
the next day.

You really don't like my food, do you?

"Like."

What does that mean?

You know what I like?

Grace, tact...

dignity, is there a button for those?

The truth is, it hurts me, Ian.

It hurts me to see you playing yes-man

to some narcissistic TV chef forever.

Are you getting in?

I didn't say forever.

But maybe one day

some investor will come along
who actually believes in me.

You know, I don't remember you
being this picky

when it came to asking me
to help get Jamie

into the best nursery school
in the city next year.

Or that apartment I practically
gift-wrapped for you.

You're right.

I wasn't picky.

But that doesn't mean
I can't take a pass now.

You know what?

You should've stayed a chemist.

- You're home.
- I wanted to see you.

- Did Jamie say anything new yet?
- No.

But he walked.

- No!
- Just a few steps.

Did you get it on video?

Ah, he was crawling
before I had the chance.

Oh, honey. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I promise you he'll walk again.

Come on.

Come on! Go on! Go on!

- You can do it, yeah!
- Come on!

Come on, come to Mummy.

Come on, Jamie.

You bought him shoes?

Oh, no. Dad did.

You don't like them?

I do, they're lovely.

But they're not really supposed
to be wearing shoes

at this age.

But it's fine, we'll just...

save them for a little bit later.

Come on, Jamie.
Show Mummy how you walk.

Ah, don't worry. I promise you
he'll walk again.

Oh, I know, it-it's OK.

You did so good, Mummy's
so proud of you.

He'll walk again, alright.

Only you'll have to be around
if you want to see it.

He thinks I'm a terrible mum.

You're a great mother, Em.

You're a great mum.

I don't even know what that means.

I'm completely just making it up
as I go along.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

You know, when I was growing up,
I only had my dad

and he worked day and night.

And now I'm doing the same thing.

You're doing the best you can.

We both are.

But are we happy?

See?

You're supposed to say yes to that.

I need to tell you something, Em.

What is it?

I quit White River today.

Good. I mean, now you have more time
to work on the restaurant.

I'm not gonna be taking your dad's money.

- My dad already paid...
- I've already told him.

You did?

You asked me if I'm happy.

I don't even know what makes me happy.

I just don't want to keep going
through the motions.

Yeah.

OK.

Oh, I remember another folk story.

A really, really old one.

The older the better, Rory.

The carpenter was handsome and strong,

and beloved by everyone on the island.

While the prick walked the earth
with a cane,

and was despised by all.

Even his own liver rejected him...

You've still got it, old man.

Actually, he's just stepped in.

Rory, it's for you.

Hello?

Fraser?

So... he gave up, just like that.

Ah...

He's dead.

Dad?

We're gonna have a bite to eat
in a few minutes.

I'm not hungry.

Just come and sit with us.

Leave me alone.

Should we check on him again?

I don't know. I give up.

I thought he'd be dancing
in the streets.

To the deceased.

Jesus, Dad.

Drink up!

We should celebrate.

I'm not gonna drink.
Give it a rest, he's dead.

So what?

You're on Campbell's side now?

I'm not on anyone's side, Dad.

Campbell's dead.

You've got no one left to pick on.

So don't make this about me.

There might be a day...

sometime very soon...

I won't be here any longer.

Do you understand me, my boy?

I need you.

If it wasn't for you...

I'd be long gone.

We loved the carpenter
and the prick story, Rory.

Have any more of that?

They weren't real folk stories.

I was fooling the lot of yous.

We know that, Rory.

- We still like to hear them.
- More proof you're fools.

How did you know that anyway?

For what it's worth...

we think your stories are great

and real.

As real as stories can be.

Och, you know nothing
about what's real.

Or you wouldn't be listening t
o an old man jabber.

OK.

So tell us then.

What do you think is real?

The child.

Rory, wait up!

It's all here, all our sessions.

Keep it.

For future generations.

Cheers.

Yeah, you are, aren't you?

Yeah. There we go.

Ian?

- What?
- Where's your dad?

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Dad, what are you doing?

Little early for a wedding!

Shiver me timbers.

What can I serve you, captain?

Whiskey. The regular kind.

No fire, no smoke.

Just whiskey.

Sure, man, whatever you say.

Oh, look, here's the birthday cake!

Wow...

Double.

I've come here to spoil you.

- Wanna spoil you to death.

Aww...

Here, here, Frank.

- Let me take him.
- Go to Grandpa.

Go to Grandpa, there we go, yes.

- That's alright.
- Oh, hello there, Jamie boy.

I've got a wee surprise for you.
Yes, yes.

Uh, Dad. Where are you taking him?

- Can I offer you a cocktail?
- Oh, none for him.

He doesn't want anything
I might've paid for.

Dad.

Thank you.

That's some family you've married into.

Yeah, I think so too.

Here, look.

Look, what's that?

Eh? See? See?

Now, shall we try and see
if it floats?

Yes, let's see if it floats.

There we go, yes.

Look at that, that's for you.

Isn't that grand?

Isn't that grand? Look at that.

Here we go. Big one coming in.

Big one coming in. There you go,
there you go.

Oh...

Dad! Dad, what are you doing?

Oh, look! Here comes the party pooper!

Jesus Christ, Dad! Are you out
of your goddamn mind?

The bairn's having the time
of his life.

Get him out of there now!

Go back to your party, Ian.

Me and Jamie are doing just fine.

I said, get out!

Well, come and get him then.

I'm not playing around with you!

Oh! Look at your daddy!

Grow up!

These are not Jamie's people!

Ian, he doesn't belong here.

What's your plan? To take him back
to Vallasay with you?

I'm not gonna make
the same mistake with him...

I did with you.

Dad, you're dying.

There's so little time left

do we really have to keep fighting
to the very end?

Can't we just let it go?

Just let it go, Dad.

Please, Dad.

Just let go.

Come on.

- Oh, baby, oh...

Come here.

Now get out the water,
you'll catch a cold.

Dad?

Is he even here?

Hold on, I'll go check his room.

Whoa!

- Check out the wino, man!
- Ah, fuck off!

Or I'll feed your rotten liver
to the devil.

Fuck off or I'll feed your rotten liver

- to the devil!
- Nasty, dude!

OK, Professor, we're rolling now.

And please try not to use
proper textbook Gaelic.

Speak naturally.

Oh, don't worry, I don't know

any textbook Gaelic.

Ha. That's what you do here, is it?

Listen to stories for a living?

I've been working at the wrong job.

My name is Rory MacNeil.

I'm 74 years old.

I was born in Vallasay
on the Isle of Lewis

in the Northern Hebrides, Scotland.

MacNeils have lived in Vallasay
for nearly 2,000 years.

Perfect.

Now tell us a story in Gaelic.

Um...

Rory!

Oh, oh, hello.

- What happened?
- Uh...

I... I think...

I have to lie down.

Come on.

- Let's get you upstairs.

- You're very sweet.
- You're so wet.

You know, a sofa would have been fine.

Oh, don't be silly.

Let's get these damp pants off.

No, oh!

Now, let me warn you...

these are the height
of fashion in Vallasay.

I swear.

I always wondered what you wear
under the kilt.

A mystery.

Warm enough yet?

Getting there.

Would it be terrible...

if we just held one another?

I don't feel up to anything else.

Oh.

What I would give...

for you to see me back in the day.

- If I could only...

Oh, this is...

This is everything.

We should have met years ago.

We met...

at just the right time.

But we don't have enough of it.

Some people don't even have this.

Not even when they're young.

Not even their whole lifetime.

I know that smile.

Rory?

Rory?

Rory!

Oh, God, oh, God! OK.

Stateman, Dr Stateman, please.

Could you see if his labs are back yet?

Sure.

You can see him now.

How's he doing?

Well, we're gonna keep him here
overnight just to be safe

but he can go home in the morning.

There's not a lot we can do
for him now, medically speaking.

Thank you, Doctor.

You have a visitor.

Do you need anything, Dad?

Could you lift me up a little?

Sure.

OK, come here, come here.

No, no, no, use the remote, idiot.

How's that?

Ian...

take me home.

Doctor says I can take
you home tomorrow.

No.

To our home.

To Vallasay.

We'll all go, Dad.

You wait till you see my museum.

Only mine is completely natural.

It's made of the sea and the stones.

You just stand there...

Look at it.

It takes your breath away.

Rory?

I don't know, I...

I don't think I'm going to come
with you to Vallasay.

This is a time for you to be with Ian.

It's time for him now.

What about us?

Oh...

You have to have a pint with...

Fraser and Alice in the pub.

And you must dig for mussels by the sea.

And you have to come with me

to piss on a certain person's grave.

I love how you make me laugh.

Oh, it's alright.

It's alright.

You don't have to come.

Anyway...

you are Vallasay.

Oh, look, Jamie, Jamie...

Oh, it's beautiful.

- Oh, my angel.
- Come on.

Dad.

Dad, come here. Come get in the picture.

What do you take me for,
a bloody tourist?

- Come on, Dad!
- And don't call me "Dad"!

I'm Seanair!

Right, come here. Get in the middle.

- Come on.
- OK.

- Right, come on!

Oh, I want a smile out of you.

- Look, Jamie...
- Come on, Jamie.

- There you go.

Dad, you wanna come and show Jamie
where we cut the mussels?

Why don't you do it?

- You sure?
- It's about time you had this

don't you think?

I'll just safe-keep it for Jamie.

It's yours.

I hope you pass it on one day

but that's your decision to make.

"My little warrior"

I wasn't much of a warrior, was I?

Och! I gave you that too soon.

I couldn't wait to make a man of you.

The kind of man I was

I didn't have the patience

to see the kind of man you'd become.

Let's go.

I won't be here much longer
to guide you

but keep your eye on the stars...

they'll show you the way.

The important thing is...

if you love someone

make sure to say it.

Don't think there'll ever be
a better time

because there never is.

I could have made
a lot of people happier...

if only...

Seanair.

- Seanair.
- Yes!

Oh...

Seanair.

Seanair.

Look! This is where
your seanair lived.

Jamie, come on!

I'll race you to the house.

I'm winning, I'm winning!

- I'm winning!

Oh, you beat me again!

Every time...