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[FEMALE ANNOUNCER]
A Pop Original Series.
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[JOE] Previously on,
"Let's Get Physical".
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Dance is a form of healing.
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I can't... you guys
aren't buying this, right?
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I live with my mom and
my life is falling apart!
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00:00:12,353 --> 00:00:15,935
I'm married to a man who just
sees what he wants and he takes it.
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He bops you over the head and
drags you back to his cave?
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Wow.
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[FEMALE NARRATOR] And now, the
Competitive Aerobic Championship
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00:00:22,580 --> 00:00:23,792
proudly presents...
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- _
- (BANGING)
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- _
- (BANGING)
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- _
- (BELL DINGS)
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(LIGHTSABER ACTIVATES)
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(EXPLOSION)
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[FEMALE NARRATOR] After Joe's defeat,
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- he left aerobics to pursue a life of leisure,
- [JOE] I'm okay. I'm okay.
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00:00:39,882 --> 00:00:43,983
while Barry used the victory
to build a fitness legacy.
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As Joe sunk deeper,
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- Barry soared higher.
- _
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[BARRY] The word, "rivalry"
is being used a lot here,
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- but I don't see it that way.
- _
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To me, this is, uh,
a celebration of life.
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Are we rivals? Yeah, of course.
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- I hate Barry Cross. He's...
- Hey, hey buddy.
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How do you think you're gonna do? Hm?
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How you gonna do, you gonna do alright?
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Didn't mean to interrupt.
Good luck out there.
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Woooo! Chubby wubby.
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[FEMALE NARRATOR] The stage is set,
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tensions are tight. Like very tight.
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- (EXPLOSION)
- Let's get ready to tumble!
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(APPLAUSE)
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- Thank you, thank you!
- _
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And, wow, thank you,
everyone for being here.
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Barry, always amazing.
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Indeed. Um, I'd just like to also add,
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uh, no disrespect to
our fellow competitors,
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but this really is a two-man race.
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Joe, so brave.
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You are the prodigal son
of aerobics. Welcome back.
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- (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)
- (SLURRING SPEECH) Thank you, Paula.
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Sorry, I did not know we were
dressing up for this event.
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Now, Joe, the news
of your father's death
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rocked the aerobics community.
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We know that you're
presenting his CAC Icon Award
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at the gala tonight, but
can you take a moment now
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to share with us what he
meant to you personally?
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(SLURRING) Yeah, check this
out. Look, he was my dad.
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You guys knew him as the
Godfather of Aerobics,
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but he was just my dad, you know?
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- Ummmmmm...
- (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)
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I remember him as a guy who
taught me how to ride a bike,
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who... showed me how to fish,
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ah... who showed me how to
shave my legs for a performance
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but I ran away from home
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to pursue a career that didn't pan out.
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It's tough, father-son... you know.
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You get it. How's your
thing with your dad?
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- Oh...
- Yeah, yeah, it's probably good.
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- I regret a lot. I regret...
- (FUMBLING WITH MICROPHONE)
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You know, I have regrets.
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- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
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- Can we... can we get him some water?
- Yeah, let's get some water.
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- You want something to drink, too?
- (SLOW CLAPPING)
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I'm fine, thank you.
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Jean-Claude Van Damme!
What a performance!
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Ah, don't buy any of this sappy,
after-school special bullshit.
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because this imposter
doesn't care about aerobics.
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He never respected his
father's career like I did.
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Most importantly, he
doesn't care about you.
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But you know who does care about you?
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Barry f-in' Cross.
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Look under your seats.
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Who wants a Metbit?
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- (CHEERING)
- You get a Metbit! You get a Metbit!
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And you get a Metbit! You get
a Metbit! You get a Metbit!
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- (CLATTERING)
- You get a Metbit!
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- (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)
- (GROANS)
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You don't get a Metbit.
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I could use that water.
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- ♪ Let's get physical, physical ♪
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com -
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(GROANING)
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- Oof.
- (GROANING)
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I'm not gonna puke. I won't... eww!
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Oh, snap, yo!
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I found the goods!
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Bulk Blast 5000. He's
on a weight-cut cocktail.
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Ignitro Cut.
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00:03:57,839 --> 00:04:01,921
What happened to good old fashioned
starvation? Laxatives? Bulimia?
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00:04:01,927 --> 00:04:05,332
I haven't worn a 'tard in
years, I wanted to look pretty!
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00:04:05,625 --> 00:04:07,629
- But pretty isn't free!
- (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
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What the fuck is going on?
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He's gonna need to sweat
this off immediately.
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There are things in my blood!
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I'll distract the press,
you sneak him downstairs.
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There's a steam room
on the second floor.
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- Come on, let's go.
- What?
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- Let's get up. We're going to the steam room
- Where are we going?
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I'm not ready to take our
relationship to that level.
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[FEMALE REPORTER]
What happened to your son?
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Yeah, will he give
the speech at the gala?
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- (REPORTERS CLAMORING)
- No, settle down, settle down everyone.
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There's just a perfectly good
explanation for all of this.
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He will not be coming out right now
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because clearly, he needs his rest.
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Our only son has been
tasked with filling the shoes
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- of a legendary man.
- [JOE] Mom! My mom!
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He came here to prove
to the aerobics community
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that he has what it
takes to change his life,
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and to continue our legacy.
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- That dedication
- [JOE] My mom!
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has lead to sheer exhaustion,
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and that's what he's
recovering from right now.
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Oh, I will be giving the
speech at the CAC Gala tonight,
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but mark my words, Joseph
will be dancing tomorrow.
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(DISTORTED SPEECH) Okay, can't
take this out for one hour.
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Huh?
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( DISTORTED) You can't
take this out for one hour,
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- or it'll stain your teeth.
- Uh, yeah.
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Where are we going? The
steam room's the other way.
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Uh, we aren't going anywhere.
I am going to get revenge.
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Alone, so shoo shoo.
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Wow, you are such a jerk
when you're on drugs.
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- (SIGHS)
- Fine, go alone!
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Alright.
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(PILL BOTTLE RATTLING)
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You want a lesson? Need
you. Hey, come on, Barry.
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- (KNOCKING)
- (DISTORTED) Who is it?
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I don't hear nothing. (GASPS)
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Maybe they sent us a
bottle of champagne!
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You're a champagning star, Barry!
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(DOOR CREAKS)
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Well, well well.
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(SLURRED SPEECH) Who here
wants to play a game, huh?
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It's called two truths and a lie.
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Barry Cross, I hate your guts,
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Claudia, I still have feelings for you,
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and somebody in this room...
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owns half of Fitness by
Force, and it's not me.
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00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,779
It's not me, guess who it is.
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00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:09,369
Oh! You lose! All
three of 'em were true!
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Yeah, your wife has been cheating
on you, Barry with her money.
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00:06:14,289 --> 00:06:17,906
Yeah, she thinks I could beat you
in finals, so she's hedging her bets.
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00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:20,525
She gave me $50,000
for half of my business.
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- (LAUGHS)
- (DISTORTED) Claudia, is this true?
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(DISTORTED) Okay, relax,
okay, I can explain.
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Uh, ah, I can ex... uh... Argh!
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(SPEAKING NORMALLY) I can explain.
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00:06:29,981 --> 00:06:32,070
- (DISTORTED) You betrayed me?
- What?
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00:06:32,076 --> 00:06:34,258
(DISTORTED) You betrayed me?!
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Uh, okay, listen, trust
me. I can explain everything
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once he leaves. I know what I'm doing.
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Leave? I'm not leaving!
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This is the greatest moment of my life!
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This is better than winning anything!
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(GUFFAWS LOUDLY)
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- Oh my God!
- (THUDS AND GROANS)
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(DISTORTED) What a loser.
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(GROANING CONTINUES)
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(EERIE MUSIC)
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00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,165
(GASPS)
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00:07:05,654 --> 00:07:08,121
(FOOTSTEPS)
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Dad?
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(KNOCKING)
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Son! 05:00 wake up call for finals.
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Time for body and bag inspection.
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Oh no, I'm dead! I'm dead!
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00:07:26,957 --> 00:07:28,157
I wish.
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00:07:28,658 --> 00:07:31,249
- Oh my God!
- Don't ask me, this is your dream.
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Oh, so I'm dreaming?
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Even though you're dressed
like an angel, I'm not dead?
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I'm dressed like an angel
because your brain is a turd.
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And right now you're passed
out on a hotel room floor
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soaked in a puddle of your own piss.
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00:07:42,112 --> 00:07:44,097
- Ah, that makes sense.
- Pay attention.
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This is a journey of
self-exploration, Joe.
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One that will allow you to examine
various versions of your life.
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Past, present and future.
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00:07:52,417 --> 00:07:53,908
Welcome to your past.
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Oh my God!
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Later today, you lose
to, well... (CHUCKLES) me.
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Oh, this is the finals! Right!
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00:08:04,648 --> 00:08:07,796
Oh yeah, and I was gonna
propose to Claudia if I had won.
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00:08:07,802 --> 00:08:09,823
Yeah, we know how this
one turns out, don't we.
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00:08:09,894 --> 00:08:13,189
A pawned ring, decades of
self-destructive debauchery.
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00:08:13,903 --> 00:08:15,998
Would you care to see how
your life would turn out
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00:08:16,004 --> 00:08:17,652
had you won that day?
189
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,622
- I don't know, Barry, would I?
- (MOCKINGLY) I don't know, Joe, would you?
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00:08:20,628 --> 00:08:22,042
- (MOCKINGLY) Yeah, I probably would.
- (MOCKINGLY) Yeah, you probably would.
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00:08:22,048 --> 00:08:23,732
(NORMAL VOICE) Shut up! Are you ready?
192
00:08:23,738 --> 00:08:25,037
(MAGIC SOUND)
193
00:08:25,043 --> 00:08:26,347
What is this?
194
00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:29,503
This is how we step into time.
195
00:08:29,784 --> 00:08:31,700
Five, six, seven, eight.
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00:08:31,706 --> 00:08:34,995
- [HARMONIZING] ♪ Here we go! ♪
- [HARMONIZING] ♪ Here we go! ♪
197
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Why am I singing?!
198
00:08:39,005 --> 00:08:43,379
(INTENSE WHIMSICAL MUSIC)
199
00:08:43,804 --> 00:08:45,004
(SIGH)
200
00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:48,015
Sacrilege, this hurts
me just lookin' at it.
201
00:08:48,087 --> 00:08:49,471
What is this?
202
00:08:49,590 --> 00:08:50,889
[ANGEL] I just told you.
203
00:08:50,895 --> 00:08:53,569
This is your life if you had
won when we were teenagers.
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00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,286
- _
- (ARROGANT CHUCKLE)
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00:08:55,292 --> 00:08:57,578
Hey, babe, Davey and Posh Beckham
206
00:08:57,584 --> 00:08:59,366
are wondering if we're
doing another fitness camp
207
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,061
- at Burning Man.
- (SCOFFS)
208
00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:03,727
[CLAUDIA] It really helped to
boost our social media presence
209
00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:06,119
but it wasn't worth dealing
with those dirty hippies.
210
00:09:06,125 --> 00:09:08,836
- Yeah.
- [CLAUDIA] Can we go to Cannes instead?
211
00:09:08,842 --> 00:09:12,532
- Sure, just keep me away from the bread.
- Mmm.
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00:09:12,625 --> 00:09:14,732
French gluten'll be the death of me.
213
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,331
I win one stupid aerobics competition
214
00:09:17,337 --> 00:09:19,344
- and I turn into a fitness douche bag?
- (CLAUDIA GIGGLES)
215
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:22,323
Uh, Mr. Force, excuse me is n-n-n-n...
216
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,120
now a good time for me to p-p-p...
217
00:09:25,126 --> 00:09:30,651
polish your t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t... trophies?
218
00:09:30,841 --> 00:09:32,843
- (CLAUDIA SIGHS)
- Go ahead...
219
00:09:33,638 --> 00:09:35,577
- (CLAUDIA GIGGLES)
- but don't look at us.
220
00:09:35,583 --> 00:09:38,507
(MOANING AND GIGGLING)
221
00:09:38,513 --> 00:09:40,102
(LAUGHS)
222
00:09:40,108 --> 00:09:42,671
If I had won, I'd be married to Claudia,
223
00:09:42,677 --> 00:09:45,874
I'd have a successful gym and
you'd be my stuttering man-servant?
224
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,577
Yes, uh, things, uh, took
a downhill turn for me
225
00:09:48,583 --> 00:09:50,061
- after I lost to you.
- Oh.
226
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,280
- You have to check me into rehab, twice,
- Ooh.
227
00:09:52,286 --> 00:09:54,167
- for sniffing glue.
- (JOE CHUCKLES)
228
00:09:54,173 --> 00:09:56,858
But I do credit your
best-selling book, Force of Habit,
229
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,935
- for being my fitness mantra
- (CLAUDIA LAUGHING AND MOANING)
230
00:09:58,941 --> 00:10:00,646
and changing my life.
231
00:10:00,652 --> 00:10:04,152
And I'm a best-selling author. Oh, man!
232
00:10:04,158 --> 00:10:05,521
(LAUGHING)
233
00:10:05,527 --> 00:10:08,211
Oh, ooh, can I see your timeline?
234
00:10:08,217 --> 00:10:09,804
- Uh... (SIGHS)
- Please, Angel Barry, I just wanna see
235
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,283
your lowest low. Did you
give hand jobs for glue money?
236
00:10:12,289 --> 00:10:13,489
Who told...?!
237
00:10:13,789 --> 00:10:15,203
This is about you.
238
00:10:16,008 --> 00:10:18,295
Fine, I'll just stay here and
watch me have sex with your wife.
239
00:10:18,301 --> 00:10:19,776
Get on the stepper, asshole,
240
00:10:19,782 --> 00:10:22,176
it's time to see what happens to
your future if you lose tomorrow.
241
00:10:22,182 --> 00:10:23,887
No! I wanna watch me do it.
242
00:10:23,893 --> 00:10:26,496
I can make you shit yourself
with one snap of my fingers.
243
00:10:26,502 --> 00:10:28,486
- Yeah? Okay, do it. Oh, you can?
- Yeah, I can do it.
244
00:10:28,492 --> 00:10:30,096
- Oh, you can? Oh, yeah? Yeah, go for it.
- Yeah, I will do it. Do you want me to snap my fingers?
245
00:10:30,102 --> 00:10:31,393
- You're gonna shit your pants.
- Oh, yeah, ha-ha.
246
00:10:31,399 --> 00:10:33,182
- (SNAPS)
- (FARTING) Ah! Ah!
247
00:10:33,188 --> 00:10:35,402
Ahh, man there's so much!
248
00:10:35,408 --> 00:10:38,854
Fine I'll do it, just
snap it away please.
249
00:10:39,143 --> 00:10:41,433
- (SNAP AND MAGICAL FLOURISH)
- (SIGH) Ah, thank you.
250
00:10:41,729 --> 00:10:44,340
- (SIGHING)
- Five, six, seven, eight.
251
00:10:44,346 --> 00:10:47,656
(INTENSE WHIMSICAL MUSIC)
252
00:10:47,662 --> 00:10:50,295
Oh, this isn't so bad.
253
00:10:50,487 --> 00:10:53,177
Huh. Do I move here and
start at life of folk music,
254
00:10:53,183 --> 00:10:55,690
fishing and full-breasted
country bumpkins?
255
00:10:55,901 --> 00:10:57,293
Oh, you don't live here.
256
00:10:57,495 --> 00:11:01,047
This is your future if you
don't make it to finals tomorrow.
257
00:11:02,045 --> 00:11:05,956
This fresh air. That Joe
Force restraining order.
258
00:11:05,962 --> 00:11:08,056
- I can finally breathe again.
- (CLAUDIA SIGHS)
259
00:11:08,151 --> 00:11:10,560
- Restraining order?
- Just watch.
260
00:11:10,575 --> 00:11:13,352
This break is giving me time
to think about our future.
261
00:11:14,438 --> 00:11:16,554
- It's not too late to try again.
- A child?
262
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,633
Yes, a Cross-bred fitness god,
263
00:11:18,639 --> 00:11:20,858
let's do it right here
under the warmth of the sun.
264
00:11:20,864 --> 00:11:23,046
Did you just bring
me to watch your date?
265
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:25,059
Watch.
266
00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:28,158
(INTENSE MUSIC)
267
00:11:28,164 --> 00:11:29,572
- (CLATTERS)
- (GASPS)
268
00:11:29,578 --> 00:11:30,778
(KISS)
269
00:11:31,783 --> 00:11:34,565
- _
- (SCREAMING)
270
00:11:34,666 --> 00:11:37,950
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
271
00:11:38,453 --> 00:11:39,754
- What...?
- Look at you.
272
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,155
Look at what you've become.
273
00:11:41,161 --> 00:11:42,624
What'd I do to my hair?
274
00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:45,711
- (CLAUDIA SCREAMING)
- [BARRY] Run!
275
00:11:45,717 --> 00:11:50,040
- Okay. Okay.
- (BOTH PANTING)
276
00:11:50,516 --> 00:11:52,205
Nothing can harm us now.
277
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,024
- (INTENSE FLOURISH)
- (GASP AND SCREAMING)
278
00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:56,303
It all could of been
different Mr. Cross.
279
00:11:56,309 --> 00:11:58,602
You shoulda just let
nature take its course.
280
00:11:58,795 --> 00:12:00,808
It will in the end anyhow.
281
00:12:00,814 --> 00:12:02,500
- So open the car.
- (WHIMPERS)
282
00:12:02,506 --> 00:12:05,016
- Open the fucking car!
- (SCREAMING)
283
00:12:05,022 --> 00:12:07,181
- (POUNDING)
- Drive! Drive!
284
00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:08,666
I turn into a psychopath?!
285
00:12:08,672 --> 00:12:11,980
- (SCREAMING)
- (POUNDING)
286
00:12:11,986 --> 00:12:14,486
No, no, no, no. Make
it stop, take me away!
287
00:12:14,492 --> 00:12:16,386
[BARRY] Nooo!
288
00:12:16,392 --> 00:12:20,141
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
289
00:12:20,219 --> 00:12:22,955
Honestly, Angel Barry, I don't know
how much more of this I can take.
290
00:12:22,961 --> 00:12:24,468
This is the last step, Joe.
291
00:12:24,735 --> 00:12:28,172
This is your future if you win tomorrow.
292
00:12:28,446 --> 00:12:33,512
It is such an honor to
host the CAC Gala 2039
293
00:12:33,518 --> 00:12:36,803
just like my dearest
Mummy Wintrest before me.
294
00:12:36,809 --> 00:12:39,116
Tonight we are here to honor the man
295
00:12:39,122 --> 00:12:44,050
who ushered in a new era
of aerobics, Joe Force.
296
00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:45,423
(APPLAUSE)
297
00:12:45,429 --> 00:12:48,430
Oh wow. I look pretty
good for an old guy.
298
00:12:48,436 --> 00:12:51,295
And to present this life
time achievement award
299
00:12:51,301 --> 00:12:55,460
I'd like to welcome to the stage,
his best friend, Barry Cross.
300
00:12:55,466 --> 00:12:57,671
- Thank you, thank you.
- (APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING)
301
00:12:58,370 --> 00:13:00,703
What? Why do you look the same?
302
00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:02,209
I know, I look great don't I?
303
00:13:02,378 --> 00:13:04,058
Seminal retention.
304
00:13:04,389 --> 00:13:07,304
Holyfield versus Tyson,
Kerrigan versus Harding,
305
00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:09,928
- a bloody ear, a busted kneecap,
- (CROWD MURMURS)
306
00:13:10,109 --> 00:13:11,912
rivalries can bring out the worst in us.
307
00:13:11,918 --> 00:13:14,508
God, you are boring, even in the future.
308
00:13:14,514 --> 00:13:18,155
Now, 20 years ago, I
lost to my own doughboy.
309
00:13:18,366 --> 00:13:19,711
Mmm, you pudgy.
310
00:13:19,745 --> 00:13:22,054
And that day changed our lives forever.
311
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:24,946
You see, my cookie
dough loving friend here
312
00:13:24,952 --> 00:13:26,867
he pushed me the right way
313
00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:30,841
and together we elevated the game
we love, competitive aerobics,
314
00:13:30,847 --> 00:13:33,142
to the next level and I'm
gonna be honest with you.
315
00:13:33,148 --> 00:13:35,943
Joe went through some major hard times.
316
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,037
Aww, come on, what happened to old Joe?
317
00:13:38,043 --> 00:13:40,255
Cataracts, early onset dementia,
318
00:13:40,261 --> 00:13:42,065
incontinence, sprained ankle.
319
00:13:42,135 --> 00:13:43,867
Eight failed marriages.
320
00:13:43,873 --> 00:13:45,579
- Wow, I got married eight times?
- (FUTURE BARRY CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
321
00:13:45,585 --> 00:13:47,359
Yeah, divorced ten.
322
00:13:47,365 --> 00:13:49,968
And of course the infamous
penis accident of 2024.
323
00:13:49,974 --> 00:13:52,305
- Oh no, what happened to my dick?
- There was a rattle snake.
324
00:13:52,311 --> 00:13:55,356
But here he is, non-responsive
non-communicative,
325
00:13:55,362 --> 00:14:01,795
no idea why he's here, where he
is, who you are and yet here he is.
326
00:14:01,801 --> 00:14:04,510
- What about you, did anything bad happen to you?
- No.
327
00:14:04,516 --> 00:14:07,394
Tonight, I celebrate us.
328
00:14:07,691 --> 00:14:10,799
In taking your hand, forever champions!
329
00:14:10,805 --> 00:14:12,329
(ROARING APPLAUSE)
330
00:14:12,335 --> 00:14:14,305
Thank you, thank you.
331
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:16,924
Um, are you gonna say anything
actually positive about him?
332
00:14:16,930 --> 00:14:19,603
- This is... this is his award.
- Yes.
333
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:23,888
Uh, um, oh. Yeah, uh, big guy...
334
00:14:24,474 --> 00:14:26,997
This is for you, take it!
335
00:14:28,362 --> 00:14:31,777
Uh, check him cause I
think I smell a poopy, 'Kay?
336
00:14:34,253 --> 00:14:38,261
- (CLAPPING)
- (APPLAUSE)
337
00:14:38,562 --> 00:14:40,875
So, my future's terrible no matter what?
338
00:14:41,152 --> 00:14:44,066
Your future is what you make of it, Joe.
339
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,973
So don't be a bitch.
340
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:48,559
(SIGHS) Barry, why
are you so hard on me?
341
00:14:49,229 --> 00:14:50,627
I'm hard on you...
342
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:55,630
- because I'm your best friend.
- What? Why are you shaking me?
343
00:14:55,636 --> 00:14:57,338
(SCREAMING)
344
00:14:57,344 --> 00:14:58,651
What was that...? (GASPS)
345
00:14:59,111 --> 00:15:00,801
Barry Cross is my best friend!
346
00:15:00,807 --> 00:15:02,102
- (SLAPS)
- Argh!
347
00:15:02,108 --> 00:15:04,687
God, Mom, I'm awake!
348
00:15:04,693 --> 00:15:06,097
Well, that's not why I hit you.
349
00:15:06,103 --> 00:15:09,672
I am tired of your antics,
Joseph, you've become a liability.
350
00:15:09,678 --> 00:15:12,676
- Mom, you're overreacting.
- Oh, really?
351
00:15:12,848 --> 00:15:16,147
Well, Tina found you
passed out in Barry's room
352
00:15:16,153 --> 00:15:18,756
she had to drag your limp
body through the kitchen
353
00:15:18,762 --> 00:15:20,546
so that the press didn't see you.
354
00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:22,742
You're a good friend. Huh.
355
00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:24,571
Where are you going?
356
00:15:24,577 --> 00:15:26,545
I'm getting ready for my speech!
357
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:29,053
Absolutely not! We have
too much on the line.
358
00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:32,192
If Barry even senses any
weakness he'll just pounce again.
359
00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:33,612
Mom, I've got this.
360
00:15:33,618 --> 00:15:36,091
I just got back from my
spiritual journey with Barry.
361
00:15:36,097 --> 00:15:37,917
- (SCOFFS)
- We're good now!
362
00:15:37,923 --> 00:15:40,099
Well, you are absolutely
not speaking tonight.
363
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:43,902
Unless I die between now and
the gala I am giving a speech!
364
00:15:43,908 --> 00:15:45,108
Fine!
365
00:15:45,217 --> 00:15:48,292
One jumbled sentence and
I will have Mrs. Winters
366
00:15:48,298 --> 00:15:49,971
rip that microphone out of your hand.
367
00:15:49,977 --> 00:15:51,386
Damn right I will.
368
00:15:51,392 --> 00:15:53,102
You can rip whatever you want.
369
00:15:53,108 --> 00:15:55,881
- (CHUCKLES)
- (CRASHES)
370
00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:57,988
- He's a mess!
- I can get him out of it,
371
00:15:57,994 --> 00:16:00,380
I just need charcoal, cayenne
pepper and a turkey baster.
372
00:16:00,386 --> 00:16:02,263
- A turkey baster?
- Yep.
373
00:16:02,951 --> 00:16:05,162
- Joseph, that's not a toilet.
- (STRAINING)
374
00:16:05,168 --> 00:16:07,279
- (STRAINING AND FARTING)
- Oh!
375
00:16:09,178 --> 00:16:12,475
- (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE)
- Thank you, Seattle Superbodies.
376
00:16:12,481 --> 00:16:16,867
Oh, so great, another
Dancetarian for you shelves.
377
00:16:16,873 --> 00:16:19,586
Their aerobics programs
in Filipino prisons
378
00:16:19,592 --> 00:16:22,538
are inspiring inmates around the world.
379
00:16:22,613 --> 00:16:23,908
Now, I know it's getting late,
380
00:16:23,914 --> 00:16:26,722
and everyone needs to rest
up for the finals tomorrow.
381
00:16:26,728 --> 00:16:28,214
So, without further ado,
382
00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:32,019
I would like to introduce
our last speaker to the stage.
383
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:37,317
Joe Force will be
accepting the CAC Icon Award
384
00:16:37,323 --> 00:16:41,606
on behalf of his father, the
dearly beloved Colonel Force.
385
00:16:41,612 --> 00:16:44,612
(AUDIENCE APPLAUSE AND WHOOPING)
386
00:16:51,463 --> 00:16:52,663
Thank you.
387
00:16:53,592 --> 00:16:55,489
Biting someone's ear off.
388
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,782
Smashing knee caps.
389
00:16:57,788 --> 00:16:59,088
Cookie dough.
390
00:16:59,094 --> 00:17:01,631
Those are the things I think
about when I think about...
391
00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,720
- Barry Cross.
- Um, are you okay,
392
00:17:03,726 --> 00:17:05,928
- because your mother told me... Okay.
- Yeah. No, I'm fine, I just... I'm...
393
00:17:05,934 --> 00:17:07,534
- Okay.
- I'm going through with this.
394
00:17:08,825 --> 00:17:11,984
My father was a, ah, juggernaut.
395
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,992
The King of Aerobics.
396
00:17:13,998 --> 00:17:17,899
The most important man in
the history of our sport.
397
00:17:18,503 --> 00:17:22,362
But, he faced competition.
398
00:17:22,665 --> 00:17:24,233
But what did he do about it?
399
00:17:24,731 --> 00:17:28,323
- He said bring it the fuck on!
- (CROWD MURMURS IN SHOCK AND AGREEMENT)
400
00:17:28,329 --> 00:17:33,208
Because he knew that
competition made him stronger.
401
00:17:33,918 --> 00:17:35,620
Well, what did I do, huh?
402
00:17:35,910 --> 00:17:37,893
Huh, what did I do, Dad?
403
00:17:38,092 --> 00:17:41,326
I lost one time, and
I ran away from home.
404
00:17:41,332 --> 00:17:44,390
(CLICKS MOUTH)
I, uh, started a terrible band,
405
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,437
built a bar in my car,
406
00:17:46,443 --> 00:17:49,875
had sex with a lot of
women that I know regret it,
407
00:17:50,057 --> 00:17:54,156
and, uh, lived off of a
potato-based diet for years...
408
00:17:54,162 --> 00:17:57,244
and whiskey, and rum, I
mean, a lot of alcohol,
409
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:59,564
and drugs. It's not...
it's not my point.
410
00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:03,272
My point is, people say
that when starting aerobics,
411
00:18:03,278 --> 00:18:06,387
all you have to do is learn
how to take the first step.
412
00:18:06,474 --> 00:18:08,098
So, I'm gonna do that tonight.
413
00:18:09,474 --> 00:18:10,872
(SIGHS)
414
00:18:11,175 --> 00:18:14,993
I'm gonna invite my rival, my friend,
415
00:18:15,338 --> 00:18:18,165
Barry Cross, to the stage. Barry
Cross, ladies and gentlemen.
416
00:18:18,171 --> 00:18:22,969
(AUDIENCE APPLAUSE,
WHISTLING AND WHOOPING)
417
00:18:22,975 --> 00:18:26,644
You see, aerobics is not about fighting.
418
00:18:26,650 --> 00:18:31,951
It's about using competition
to make yourself better.
419
00:18:31,957 --> 00:18:33,460
(AUDIENCE MURMURS APPROVAL)
420
00:18:33,466 --> 00:18:37,184
To Colonel Tom Force,
the King of Aerobics.
421
00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:40,423
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
422
00:18:40,735 --> 00:18:43,760
Hear that? It's a freight train.
It's coming straight for ya.
423
00:18:43,975 --> 00:18:47,365
I'm gonna mow you down and have
sex with your wife. Choo-choo!
424
00:18:47,371 --> 00:18:48,680
(LAUGHING)
425
00:18:48,686 --> 00:18:50,290
You son of a bitch.
426
00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:53,053
I hate you. Your father hated you.
427
00:18:53,059 --> 00:18:54,965
Your mother's gonna
hate you when I beat you.
428
00:18:54,971 --> 00:18:57,938
You know what? I'm gonna put her
to work for me in my juice bar,
429
00:18:57,944 --> 00:19:01,049
tight clothes, 20-year-old
douche bags objectifying her
430
00:19:01,055 --> 00:19:03,650
from morning to night. She's
gonna reek of codfish liver oil.
431
00:19:03,656 --> 00:19:05,744
(BOTH LAUGHING)
432
00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:10,127
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
433
00:19:11,027 --> 00:19:15,410
Let's get ready to tumble!
434
00:19:15,416 --> 00:19:17,753
- (ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
- (KNOCKING)
435
00:19:23,952 --> 00:19:25,152
Hey.
436
00:19:25,741 --> 00:19:27,124
We need to talk.
437
00:19:27,639 --> 00:19:29,844
- Come in.
- Barry won't speak to me. (SIGHS)
438
00:19:29,850 --> 00:19:32,946
He's turned off his phone,
moved into a new suite,
439
00:19:32,952 --> 00:19:35,747
locked himself into his portable
hyperbolic chamber. (SIGHS)
440
00:19:35,753 --> 00:19:37,979
Oh, no. How could he?
441
00:19:37,985 --> 00:19:40,669
I don't know, I... Oh, don't
even pretend like you care.
442
00:19:40,675 --> 00:19:42,684
You're the reason that
this has all happened.
443
00:19:42,690 --> 00:19:45,262
You stormed into my room and
dropped a bomb on my marriage,
444
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:46,651
and now I'm never gonna
win my husband back.
445
00:19:46,657 --> 00:19:49,035
I'm sorry, I was high on diet pills.
446
00:19:49,041 --> 00:19:50,426
Oh, this is why I don't help people
447
00:19:50,432 --> 00:19:52,835
because when you help
people things get messy.
448
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,426
(BOTH SIGH)
449
00:19:54,432 --> 00:19:55,940
- What is this?
- Oh, um,
450
00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:58,639
I'm rehearsing my finals
performance. It's amazing.
451
00:19:58,645 --> 00:19:59,867
I'm sure.
452
00:20:00,078 --> 00:20:01,420
Do you need a place to stay?
453
00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:02,810
No, I just...
454
00:20:03,489 --> 00:20:07,811
Don't do that. Stop... Don't!
You always do that shit.
455
00:20:08,209 --> 00:20:09,409
(CLAUDIA SIGHS)
456
00:20:09,896 --> 00:20:11,308
So, why are you here?
457
00:20:11,314 --> 00:20:15,300
Because I can't control
either of you idiots. (SIGHS)
458
00:20:16,386 --> 00:20:19,331
But, I can help you win this thing.
459
00:20:20,394 --> 00:20:22,998
If everything goes south, and
I get divorced after all this,
460
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,672
I am gonna need that
money more than you do.
461
00:20:24,678 --> 00:20:25,878
Oh...
462
00:20:27,106 --> 00:20:29,517
- Really?
- Divorces are expensive.
463
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,054
(SIGHS)
464
00:20:32,585 --> 00:20:33,866
So...
465
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:35,708
So, what?
466
00:20:35,874 --> 00:20:37,883
So, show me what you got.
467
00:20:40,383 --> 00:20:41,671
Huh... oh, my...
468
00:20:41,677 --> 00:20:43,400
- Oh, my routine.
- Mmm.
469
00:20:43,406 --> 00:20:45,632
- (LAUGHING) Oh, right, okay. Here we go again.
- Yeah. Okay. Oh, okay.
470
00:20:45,638 --> 00:20:48,625
- Here, sit down. Sit.
- Okay, go... (CHUCKLES)
471
00:20:48,631 --> 00:20:52,388
- (SIGHS)
- Okay, and I got these, a little muzak.
472
00:20:52,394 --> 00:20:54,693
(ROCK MUSIC)
473
00:20:56,639 --> 00:20:58,458
[JOE VOICE-OVER]
On the next Let's Get Physical...
474
00:20:58,464 --> 00:21:01,936
What is it gonna take for
you two to stay on your marks?
475
00:21:01,942 --> 00:21:03,334
Colonel's got millions a dollars.
476
00:21:03,340 --> 00:21:06,022
You sold half our gym to Claudia?!
477
00:21:06,028 --> 00:21:08,030
You two-faced, skanky waif.
478
00:21:08,036 --> 00:21:10,981
Stay until the end of the finals,
and then we'll figure it out.
479
00:21:10,987 --> 00:21:13,171
I'm gonna give the
greatest losing performance
480
00:21:13,177 --> 00:21:16,968
anyone has ever seen.
Holy shit, I'm gonna win.
481
00:21:18,270 --> 00:21:19,819
(SQUEAKY VOICE) Grandma's house.
482
00:21:19,825 --> 00:21:24,825
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -
37553
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