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[TRAIN HORN HONKS]
4
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,147
[HORNS HONKING]
5
00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:11,070
[BELLS TOLLING]
6
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:47,940
SNYDER:
Mr. Gustafson, I have to talk to you.
7
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:55,030
Mr. Gustafson, will you answer
the door, please?
8
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,865
I know you're in there.
9
00:01:58,159 --> 00:02:02,788
It's no use pretending
this isn't happening, Mr. Gustafson.
10
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:07,334
I can't keep coming back here
every couple of days.
11
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,671
You have to talk to me.
12
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:16,343
Mr. Gustafson, I'm just trying to help you.
13
00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:18,804
Come on, answer the door.
14
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,889
I'm just gonna keep knocking.
15
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:24,268
I'm gonna keep ringing the bell,
so you might as well answer the door.
16
00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,228
[DOORBELL RINGING]
17
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,481
We know you're in there.
18
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:33,735
Think of the neighbors, Mr. Gustafson.
19
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:38,323
There's a letter for you,
Mr. Gustafson.
20
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:43,245
I suggest you read it.
21
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,375
- Morning, dickhead.
- Hello, moron.
22
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,043
What are you, uh...
23
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,920
Never mind. Just forget it.
24
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:55,257
- Who's the guy yakking at your door?
- Mind your own business.
25
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,676
[MOCKING TONE]
"Mind your own business."
26
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,929
- Tie your shoelace. You'll fall.
- Aw, shut up.
27
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,849
We're having a heat wave here.
28
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:08,145
[SINGING "HEAT WAVE"]
29
00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:15,110
Somebody moving
into the old Clickner place.
30
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,530
[MOVERS CHATTERING]
31
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:21,408
- Gee, you picked up on that, Sherlock.
SNYDER: Excuse me.
32
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:24,077
I wonder if you gentlemen
could tell me...
33
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:26,580
...uh, where I could find Mr. Gustafson?
34
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,081
No. Gustafson? No, no, sorry.
35
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:30,626
- Mr. John Gustafson?
- That's right.
36
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:34,254
[MAX MUTTERING]
37
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,758
You mean the lowlife, ass-wipe...
38
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,302
...egg-sucker John Gustafson?
- Oh.
39
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,720
Have you seen him?
40
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,556
Man's crazy. Loco.
41
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:48,101
Always hanging out around
those kinky strip bars.
42
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:50,395
- What?
- Where men take their clothes off.
43
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:51,980
Oh, for God's sake.
44
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,316
That's, of course,
if he's taken his medication.
45
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,151
Medication?
46
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,320
Yes. Without it,
he could be anywhere.
47
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,739
Wandering around, talking to the trees.
48
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:04,201
Believe me, this man is a menace.
He's always drinking, starting fights.
49
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,078
Isn't that right?
50
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,665
- But have you seen him?
- No, sorry.
51
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:13,001
I think, perhaps...
52
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,255
Um, no.
53
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,590
- No. No.
- No.
54
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,634
If you see him...
55
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,095
...would you give him this
and tell him he must contact...
56
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,597
...Mr. Snyder as soon as possible.
- Yes. Uh-huh. Okay.
57
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,808
- Schneider.
- Snyder.
58
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,727
That's me. It's important.
59
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,982
Important? Yes, sir.
We'll tell him when we see him.
60
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,400
[MAX LAUGHS]
61
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,859
[JOHN LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]
62
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:40,195
[GRUNTS]
63
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,114
- Oops.
- Oh, look out!
64
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,448
Watch out for that ice there.
65
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,575
Slippery. Very slippery.
66
00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:46,868
Right.
67
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,372
Holy moly.
68
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,833
[MOVERS CHATTERING]
69
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,130
Jesus.
70
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,218
[HORN HONKS]
71
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,766
A men's strip joint?
72
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,560
[CHUCKLING]
73
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:14,479
Idiot.
74
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,067
[JOHN GRUNTS]
75
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,342
Thirty days.
76
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,303
That's just great.
77
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,270
[PLAYING SOFT MUSIC]
78
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,451
MAN [ON TV]: Remington MicroScreen
Rechargeable Shaver so much...
79
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,244
...I bought the company.
80
00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:13,955
It shaves as close as a blade,
or I'll give you your money back.
81
00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:17,376
The first microscreen is so thin
it shaves incredibly close.
82
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:20,504
The second even closer.
Remington's American...
83
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:24,424
You should have seen Mrs. Carlson's face
when he said, "It's a keeper."
84
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,636
Oh, cold enough for you? Brr!
85
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,097
Oh, shut up, fat-ass.
86
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:34,142
It's not even Thanksgiving, and here
we are enjoying our lovely fall weather.
87
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:37,145
Six inches of snow
on the ground already...
88
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:40,148
...with traveler's advisories
in effect throughout our area tonight...
89
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,610
...you'd be advised to stay inside
and have yourself...
90
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,612
...a warm, home-cooked meal.
91
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:50,200
How'd you like a clue
for what's coming up this week?
92
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:53,286
It's snow, snow, and more snow.
93
00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:56,665
We've got snow coming into
our area all week long.
94
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,126
Come Sunday afternoon,
another cold front...
95
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,273
[MOTOR REVVING OUTSIDE]
96
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:27,112
[DOG BARKING OUTSIDE]
97
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,698
[REVVING CONTINUES]
98
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,366
[GRUNTS]
99
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,499
What the hell?
100
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,544
[REVVING CONTINUES]
101
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,336
Holy moly.
102
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,010
Oh, my God.
103
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:42,395
[WHISTLES SOFTLY]
104
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,487
MOVER 1: Got it.
MOVER 2: There we are.
105
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,113
MOVER 3: This up front?
MOVER 4: Yeah.
106
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,449
[SAW BUZZING]
107
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,787
[JOHN LAUGHS]
108
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,957
You're still using
that beat-up piece of firewood?
109
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:07,087
The Green Hornet's caught more fish
than you've lied about, Gustafson.
110
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,089
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
111
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,007
- You see her?
- Huh?
112
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:13,885
Drives pretty fast on that snowmobile.
113
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,638
- Pretty damn fast.
- Yeah.
114
00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:19,599
Did you hear about Eddie Hicks?
115
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,768
Hypothermia's a bitch.
116
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,979
Not quick like a stroke.
117
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:27,566
A stroke is no damn good.
You could end up like a vegetable.
118
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,651
Give me a cardiac any day.
119
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,486
MAX:
You know what Jacob said?
120
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:36,157
Jacob said that old Billy Hinshel
was killed in a car crash.
121
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,785
Head-on collision with a freight truck.
122
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,830
Cleared his car straight over the bridge
into the Mississippi.
123
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,456
Lucky bastard.
124
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,292
You bet.
125
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,502
Hey, how is he anyway?
126
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:50,297
He's dead. Died on impact.
127
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,841
Jacob, moron. Jacob.
128
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,176
Oh, ah, he's fine.
129
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,262
Doing real good. Real busy and everything.
130
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,514
But he promised to come over
for Thanksgiving.
131
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,182
Is he really gonna run for mayor?
132
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:04,978
- Make a damn fine mayor, too.
- Good thing he's his mother's son.
133
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,606
If he looked like you,
he'd never get on the ballot.
134
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,441
Eat my shorts.
135
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,652
MOVER: Morning, Mrs. Truax.
ARIEL: Morning, how you doing?
136
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,195
MAX:
Holy moly.
137
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,617
MOVER: Watch your step, ma'am.
ARIEL: Thank you.
138
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,917
[JEEP ENGINE STARTS]
139
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,552
Jesus Quincy Adams.
140
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,554
- Ha, ha.
MAX: Hmm...
141
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,022
[DOG BARKING]
142
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:51,900
[DOOR CHIMES]
143
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,235
I hit the cans again.
144
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:55,612
I heard.
145
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,405
How is the Grinch today?
146
00:10:57,573 --> 00:11:01,034
Ain't got a pot to piss in
or a window to throw it out of.
147
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,952
CHUCK:
Ha, ha. Can I get you something?
148
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,538
Yeah, I need a six-pack of Schmidt
and I'm out of bait.
149
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:09,584
- Shiners or wax worms?
- I can't afford shiners. Give me wax worms.
150
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,211
Wax worms are 75 cents.
151
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:16,174
75 cents? Crime in Italy. Chuck,
we're talking about worms, not caviar.
152
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,094
You go through that every time.
153
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:24,099
Where are you gonna get worms this
time of year? It's supply and demand.
154
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:26,893
You could retire in Florida
just from selling me worms.
155
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:31,106
- And throw the beefjerky in too.
- That's $5 for the beer and the worms.
156
00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:33,733
Now you know your old gut
can't handle no jerky.
157
00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,777
God...
158
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,279
Hey, is Pop out there at the shanty?
159
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,407
Always.
160
00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:42,117
Uh-huh. And the moron?
161
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,953
There's lots of ice out there, Gustafson.
162
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,038
Should be room enough
for the both of you.
163
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,958
JOHN [IN MOCKING TONE]:
"Lots of ice out there, Gustafson."
164
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,793
Mm-mm-mm.
165
00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:19,946
[HORN HONKING]
166
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,867
- Hi, Dad.
GRANDPA: Hi, hi.
167
00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,076
Any luck today?
168
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,954
How the hell should I know?
I just got here.
169
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:31,458
JOHN: Oh.
- Say, Mel, she came by the other day...
170
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,002
...and said that you'd been snapping.
JOHN: Oh.
171
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:38,339
- Like a damned catfish.
- Well, I've had a lot on my mind lately.
172
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,425
I'll tell you what's on my mind.
173
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,512
It's butt-cold out here
and I'm fresh out of beer.
174
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,183
Oh, did you hear? Someone moved into
the Clickner place. A woman.
175
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,435
- A woman?
- Yeah.
176
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,354
- Did you mount her?
- Oh, Dad.
177
00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:55,857
No, wait a minute.
Has she got big thighs?
178
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,693
- No.
- No?
179
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,653
Then what's the problem?
180
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:03,865
If I was a young fellow like you,
I'd be mounting...
181
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:07,160
...every woman in Wabasha.
182
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,079
Keep the change.
183
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,169
Hi, Punky.
184
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,796
Hi, John.
185
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,301
[MOTOR PUTTERING]
186
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,605
[HOCKEY GAME PLAYING
INDISTINCTLY ON TV]
187
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,339
[OPERA MUSIC PLAYING]
188
00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:12,684
[SIGHS]
189
00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:17,647
[CAR HORN HONKING]
190
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,115
MAX:
The Green Hornet strikes again!
191
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,783
[LAUGHS]
192
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,577
Caught my limit.
193
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,620
I see you only snagged one, huh?
194
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,290
Two fish are on there, you bonehead.
195
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:37,792
You know damn well
I throw back what I'm not gonna eat.
196
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,754
Oh, yeah? Like that 40-pound muskie
you're always yakking about.
197
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:44,757
It's a shame that nobody ever sees you
with these monsters.
198
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,467
[LAUGHING]
199
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,560
You're gonna love it, Goldman.
200
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,814
Go to work, baby.
201
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,612
[JOHN SNORING]
202
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:07,989
[KNOCKING ON FRONT DOOR]
203
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,449
Hmm?
204
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:10,867
[CAT MEOWS]
205
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,243
What is it?
206
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:18,041
Oh, my God, they've come for me.
207
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,254
[DOORBELL RINGS]
208
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,800
[KNOCKING ON FRONT DOOR]
209
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:36,142
[JOHN GRUNTS]
210
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,144
[SCREAMS]
211
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,438
[GROANS]
212
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,357
[GASPING]
213
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,029
Hi.
214
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:51,115
Oh, my God. I, uh...
215
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,201
You see, I was...
216
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,619
Hi.
217
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,955
I hope you don't mind,
but I saw your light on...
218
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:59,874
...and I was just wondering
if I might use your bathroom.
219
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,502
What?
220
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:08,883
- So, uh, your toilet is broken?
- Oh, no, thank goodness.
221
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:14,013
I don't know, the house seemed so empty
tonight. I do so love bathrooms.
222
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,766
You know, you can tell a lot
about a person from his bathroom.
223
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,060
- Did you know that?
- No, I didn't know that.
224
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,397
- There's a guest bath...
- I can't wait to see what I find in there.
225
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:25,316
- Much better than having your palm read.
- Well, uh...
226
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,610
You give me 30 seconds
in a person's bathroom...
227
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:31,698
...and I will give you a complete
and accurate profile.
228
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,951
- There's a guest bathroom, please.
- I'll only be a minute.
229
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,163
Ah. Guest bathroom.
230
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,227
[TOILET FLUSHES]
231
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:10,611
So?
232
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:12,739
Fascinating.
233
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,033
Uh...
234
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,910
Now, don't you think it's time
that you finally introduced yourself?
235
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:20,747
- Oh, uh...
- John "Goostafson," right?
236
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,832
- Gustafson.
- Gustafson.
237
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:27,170
Well, I took some of your mail yesterday
just to find out who you were.
238
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:31,507
But you don't get much and
what you do get doesn't paint a picture.
239
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:34,969
- You took my mail. That's a federal offense.
- I know.
240
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,306
Sometimes it's necessary to go
a long distance out of the way...
241
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:41,100
...in order to come back
a short distance correctly.
242
00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:43,978
- Don't you find that too? I love that line.
- What?
243
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:48,441
I have to confess it's not mine.
It's from The Zoo Story by Edward Albee.
244
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,986
I teach American literature
at Winona State University.
245
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:55,490
I started yesterday.
Oh, I love the classics, don't you?
246
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:59,577
- Yeah. Well, I also read Field & Stream.
- Indeed?
247
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:02,705
You have a whole library
up there from what I could see.
248
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:07,627
You know, there's something really rugged
and virile about the outdoors, isn't there?
249
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,629
Oh, yeah.
250
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:10,922
Oh.
251
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,007
My manners. I'm so sorry.
252
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,509
I'm Ariel Truax.
253
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:17,261
[STUTTERING]
How do you do? I'm John G-Gustafson.
254
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,930
- Yes, I know.
- You know that.
255
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,517
When did you
move into the Clickner place?
256
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:24,519
Oh, I'm sure you know that, John.
257
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:26,938
Ever since I got here,
you and Max Goldman...
258
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:32,110
...have been stuck up against your windows
watching me like two Garfield cats.
259
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,862
You know, those kind that
people stick to their car windows?
260
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:37,657
You know, those little
suction cups they have? It's so...
261
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,283
Squirrels.
262
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:43,204
Been watching the squirrels. One of them's
making a nest under your eaves.
263
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,789
Sure, John.
264
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,332
Here's your mail.
265
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:49,168
Now, there's nothing addressed
to a Mrs. Gustafson.
266
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:52,171
And by the state of your bathroom,
I presume that you're a bachelor.
267
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:53,381
Yeah.
268
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:54,715
Gay or straight?
269
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:58,386
- Huh?
- Heterosexual or homosexual?
270
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,139
Jeez Louise.
271
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,182
It's a perfectly legitimate question.
272
00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:04,892
[LAUGHING]
273
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:08,229
Well, maybe in California,
but here in Minnesota... Ho-ho.
274
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,565
Have I upset you?
275
00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,441
No, hey.
276
00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:15,319
It's the middle of the night
and I don't know what the hell is...
277
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,321
Would you like me to leave?
278
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:18,739
No.
279
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,491
Yeah.
280
00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:25,037
Well, it was very nice meeting you,
John Gustafson.
281
00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:28,332
And now that we know each other,
don't be a stranger, neighbor.
282
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:30,877
Oh, and John...
283
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:34,338
...king's rook to queen's bishop 3.
284
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,393
Ah.
285
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,611
[HORN HONKS]
286
00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:58,279
MAN:
Hey, John.
287
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,956
Phil, wait a minute.
Don't ring that up yet.
288
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,959
I need something for my lumbago.
The pain is killing me.
289
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:16,297
Ah, it's killing you, my ass. He doesn't
know the meaning of the word pain.
290
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:20,426
I got a pinched sciatica that makes
your lumbago look like eye strain.
291
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,221
Pain. He wants to talk about pain.
292
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,682
I had a gallstone the size of a baseball.
293
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:30,269
Gallstones, yeah.
Gallstones are for pussies.
294
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:33,731
When I had shingles
did you see me complaining to Phil?
295
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,067
Shingles schmingles.
296
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,653
When I had my ulcers, I was...
297
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:42,073
...farting razor blades.
298
00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:45,451
- Good morning, John.
- Huh? Good...
299
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,746
Oh, you must be Max Goldman.
300
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,791
Hi, I'm Ariel Truax, your new neighbor.
301
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:55,002
- Pleasure.
- Isn't it a peach of a day?
302
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:57,672
- Ah.
ARIEL: Listen, I have something for you.
303
00:20:57,839 --> 00:21:00,341
It was dropped off
at my house by accident.
304
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,134
Some of your mail. Heh.
305
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,763
- Here you are. Sorry.
- Ah.
306
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,849
Phil, have my herbal therapy oils
arrived yet?
307
00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:10,518
They arrived this morning.
308
00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:13,312
Special delivery from California.
309
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,481
Wonderful. Wonderful.
310
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:18,776
Ah, yes, there's nothing like the scent of...
311
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,028
...fresh tea tree...
312
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:24,031
...just soaking into your pores.
- Hmm.
313
00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:25,658
Don't you agree?
314
00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:27,034
Lovely.
315
00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:31,122
Thank you.
It was such a pleasure meeting you...
316
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,125
...and I'm sure we're going to see
a lot of one another.
317
00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:37,586
Goodbye, gentlemen. Goodbye, John.
318
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:39,338
Yeah.
319
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,258
[DOOR CHIMES]
320
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,510
- Holy moly.
JOHN: Uh-huh.
321
00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:47,555
JOHN: Now wait. You got all
four wheels on the track? Okay.
322
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:51,017
All right. Now, careful, fellas, huh?
Hey, Mel.
323
00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:55,229
Be careful. That's over 100 years old.
Damn thing might collapse.
324
00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:58,190
- Hi, sweetheart. How are you?
- Hi, Dad. Good.
325
00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:01,110
JOHN: There's Granddaddy's little girl.
- What's going on?
326
00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:04,905
- I'm getting rid of that. It's just firewood.
- Why?
327
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:08,743
Well, I don't know. I don't play it much.
It sits around, collects dust.
328
00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:11,579
- You love that piano.
- Granddaddy's got a surprise...
329
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:14,498
...for you in the house, pumpkin.
- Dad.
330
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:18,085
Oh, just a little C-A-N-D-Y.
It's not going to kill her.
331
00:22:18,253 --> 00:22:20,046
ALEXANDRA:
Candy.
332
00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:24,091
Which one?
Okay, which hand?
333
00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:26,427
This one? No.
334
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,221
Which hand? That's the one. Yeah.
335
00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:31,599
There you are, sweet pea.
How about that? Here.
336
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,768
Dad.
337
00:22:33,935 --> 00:22:37,646
- Is there something wrong?
- No. Nothing's wrong at all.
338
00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:39,899
With me...
339
00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:47,406
Now, Mel, um...
340
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:50,993
How am I gonna...?
People are asking about you.
341
00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:52,328
I know.
342
00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:56,457
Yeah, now I keep telling them
that you and Mike are doing just fine.
343
00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:58,793
It's just a lot of gum-flapping.
344
00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:03,756
- Mike and I aren't fine.
- Yeah. That's what I thought.
345
00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:09,428
Dad, we're gonna separate for a while.
346
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:15,810
Honey, marriage isn't easy, you know.
You gotta work at it.
347
00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:18,979
It's hard to work at it
when he's never there.
348
00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:22,191
Oh, my God, is that familiar. Your mother
wondered where I was for 20 years.
349
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,903
You really think I wanted two jobs?
I didn't do that for me.
350
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:28,322
- I was doing it for you, Brian, your mother.
- Dad. Dad.
351
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:31,617
Dad, this isn't about you.
This is about me and Mike.
352
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,746
Yeah, I'm sorry. I-I get... I keep...
353
00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,498
[CHUCKLES]
354
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,127
I'm sorry. I love you so much.
355
00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:46,924
Well, whatever you and Mike decide is...
356
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:50,845
I never liked him anyway.
357
00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:53,681
[BOTH LAUGH]
358
00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:56,183
[ARIEL SCREAMING OUTSIDE]
359
00:23:56,351 --> 00:23:58,686
[WHOOPING]
360
00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:05,860
MELANIE:
Who is that?
361
00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,279
I don't know.
362
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,322
[WHOOPING]
363
00:24:10,490 --> 00:24:11,782
Hi!
364
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,368
Ha, ha. She seems to know you.
365
00:24:14,536 --> 00:24:15,828
Well, I...
366
00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:18,539
[YELLING]
367
00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:21,375
- Does she always do that?
- I don't know.
368
00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:24,211
ARIEL:
Oh! This is great!
369
00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:27,381
Whoo!
370
00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,842
[MELANIE LAUGHING]
371
00:24:39,811 --> 00:24:41,228
[MICROWAVE DINGS]
372
00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:43,606
Aah!
373
00:24:43,773 --> 00:24:46,817
TV ANNOUNCER: We hope
you enjoyed our feature presentation.
374
00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:50,696
Now stay tuned for tonight's $6.4 million
jackpot on Powerball.
375
00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:52,448
JOHN:
Three, four five...
376
00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:54,408
Followed by local news.
377
00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:56,744
Out of the way, Slick.
Come on, baby.
378
00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:58,579
Come on. I gotta win a million bucks.
379
00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:00,164
[SIGHS]
380
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:02,625
[TV CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
381
00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:13,010
[KNOCKING ON FRONT DOOR]
382
00:25:13,386 --> 00:25:14,553
Who's that?
383
00:25:15,055 --> 00:25:16,263
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
384
00:25:16,431 --> 00:25:18,390
MAX: Okay. Okay.
JACOB: Ta-da!
385
00:25:18,558 --> 00:25:20,851
Hey, Jacob, you got my vote.
That's terrific.
386
00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:25,064
Come on in. Have a little TV dinner.
Lasagna's heating up now.
387
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:28,150
I don't have time. I just dropped by
to give you the placard for the yard.
388
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:31,570
- I got a bunch I gotta deliver.
- You'll have just a drink Little drink.
389
00:25:31,738 --> 00:25:33,781
Pop, I can't. I'm sorry. I'll call you.
390
00:25:33,949 --> 00:25:35,282
No, close the door. Come in.
391
00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:36,492
[ALARM BEEPS]
392
00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:38,494
Wait a minute. Give me a minute, will you?
393
00:25:38,662 --> 00:25:43,415
I'll be with you in a second. I have to
do something here that's very important.
394
00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:46,627
Six-point-four million.
That's our estimated jackpot tonight.
395
00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:48,420
You could be our next millionaire.
396
00:25:48,588 --> 00:25:50,673
[MAX MUTTERING]
397
00:25:56,304 --> 00:25:58,639
- To win the jackpot, correctly match...
- Come on. Do it.
398
00:26:01,309 --> 00:26:03,310
Our first number is a...
399
00:26:03,478 --> 00:26:06,438
[SINGING UPBEAT SONG]
400
00:26:08,149 --> 00:26:09,233
[CHUCKLING]
401
00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:13,362
What's going on?
402
00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:15,906
- There's number four.
- Seven.
403
00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:20,077
- To win the jackpot, match 5 white balls...
- There's a seven. Now, second...
404
00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:22,121
And next up is a...
405
00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:24,832
Come on!
406
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,084
The schmuck doesn't know
what's happening.
407
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,670
- A 25.
- Seven...
408
00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:32,756
- There's just one more ball and here it is...
- Fifteen.
409
00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,595
Jesus Christ!
410
00:26:37,762 --> 00:26:38,804
[LAUGHING]
411
00:26:39,347 --> 00:26:41,682
[UPBEAT HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
412
00:26:43,476 --> 00:26:44,935
Goldman.
413
00:26:46,354 --> 00:26:48,314
Goldman. It's Goldman.
414
00:26:48,481 --> 00:26:51,775
- You're a child.
- Don't tell me, Jacob. It isn't me.
415
00:26:51,943 --> 00:26:53,652
JACOB:
Oh, it never is.
416
00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:56,155
No, I'm sure John started every fight
since 1940.
417
00:26:56,323 --> 00:26:59,158
- '38.
- Well, it's ridiculous.
418
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:03,829
- Hey, John!
MAX: Oh!
419
00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:05,205
Come over here and apologize.
420
00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:07,499
- Come here. Come on.
- I'm not apologizing to anybody.
421
00:27:07,667 --> 00:27:09,376
You're letting the cold air in.
422
00:27:09,544 --> 00:27:11,795
[MAX YELLING]
423
00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,049
Take that, you criminal.
424
00:27:35,737 --> 00:27:37,780
[DOOR OPENS THEN JOHN GASPS]
425
00:27:37,947 --> 00:27:40,574
I don't believe it. That old trick?
426
00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:43,077
This is something between me
and your father, Jakey.
427
00:27:43,244 --> 00:27:45,704
There's no need for you to get involved.
428
00:27:46,623 --> 00:27:49,291
I don't say anything on one condition:
429
00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:51,543
Put one of these in your yard.
430
00:27:52,796 --> 00:27:54,421
I'd be proud to, Jake.
431
00:27:54,589 --> 00:27:57,174
Hey, not one word
to your old man, remember?
432
00:28:01,221 --> 00:28:03,597
- Have fun, Johnny.
- Yeah.
433
00:28:05,725 --> 00:28:08,102
[JOHN GRUNTING]
434
00:28:12,607 --> 00:28:14,233
[GRUNTS]
435
00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:22,241
Hey, dickhead, you win the lottery?
436
00:28:24,202 --> 00:28:26,370
Enjoy your shower, smartass?
437
00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:28,372
[LAUGHING]
438
00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:32,793
[ROOF CREAKING]
439
00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:37,047
[GRUMBLES]
440
00:28:43,304 --> 00:28:44,888
Mm, mm.
441
00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:50,060
Gotta use hot water, you schmuck.
442
00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:52,062
You'll never get me.
443
00:28:54,816 --> 00:28:57,776
- See you later, Gustafson.
- Ah.
444
00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:02,156
[ENGINE STARTS]
445
00:29:07,996 --> 00:29:10,205
Up yours, Gustafson.
446
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,167
[CHUCKLING]
447
00:29:13,334 --> 00:29:15,461
Phew. Puke.
448
00:29:15,628 --> 00:29:18,005
P-yew! What the hell is that smell?
449
00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:19,923
[SNIFFING]
450
00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:21,383
[GROANS]
451
00:29:21,551 --> 00:29:23,802
[HORN HONKING]
452
00:29:26,681 --> 00:29:28,640
P-yew!
453
00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:33,020
MAX:
Ah.
454
00:29:33,188 --> 00:29:34,772
[HORN HONKING]
455
00:29:41,529 --> 00:29:43,489
Watch it, bonehead.
456
00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:47,534
Phew.
457
00:29:48,661 --> 00:29:51,288
[INHALES DEEPLY]
458
00:29:53,541 --> 00:29:56,877
MAX: Mrs. Cusack over at the store
said she came in yesterday...
459
00:29:57,045 --> 00:29:59,296
...to buy some candles and incense.
460
00:29:59,839 --> 00:30:03,342
Ask me, she's probably a member
of one of them religious cults.
461
00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:05,969
- You say she's all alone?
- From what I heard...
462
00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:09,389
...she's available and hot to trot.
463
00:30:11,017 --> 00:30:12,226
JOHN:
Hey, Chuck.
464
00:30:14,687 --> 00:30:16,730
- Moron.
- Putz.
465
00:30:16,898 --> 00:30:18,440
CHUCK:
Hi, John.
466
00:30:19,359 --> 00:30:21,652
Max was telling me
about your new neighbor.
467
00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:23,737
What? My new neighbor?
468
00:30:23,905 --> 00:30:27,449
Oh, yes, yeah, new neighbor.
Yeah, she came over to see me last night.
469
00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:28,867
She what?
470
00:30:29,035 --> 00:30:30,911
Yeah, about 1:30 in the morning.
471
00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:34,039
Why would a woman come over
at 1:30 in the morning to see you?
472
00:30:34,207 --> 00:30:37,209
Just why do you think, bonehead?
I'll have a six-pack, Chuck.
473
00:30:37,377 --> 00:30:40,045
Ha. Women and fish...
474
00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:42,756
...you can never
catch either one of them, Gustafson.
475
00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:46,426
I've laid more pipe in this town
than Wabasha Plumbing.
476
00:30:46,594 --> 00:30:49,263
Oh, yeah? Now you're telling me
you're going to go after her?
477
00:30:49,430 --> 00:30:53,642
Oh, me? Oh, jeez. God, no. She's too...
She's too disturbed for me.
478
00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:55,310
For you maybe.
479
00:30:55,478 --> 00:30:58,480
No, I don't wanna have
anything to do with her.
480
00:30:58,648 --> 00:31:00,858
See, women fall too hard for me.
481
00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:03,277
They get obsessed with me.
482
00:31:03,444 --> 00:31:06,321
It's like one of them
Fatal Attraction things...
483
00:31:06,489 --> 00:31:09,408
...that they show on
The Donahue Show, you know.
484
00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:13,245
You guys
are the biggest damn bullshitters...
485
00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:17,040
...in this entire frozen nation.
486
00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:19,543
You're just plain chicken...
487
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:21,587
...both of you, if you ask me.
488
00:31:21,754 --> 00:31:25,215
A beautiful woman just sitting there...
489
00:31:25,383 --> 00:31:27,593
...20 feet from your front yards...
490
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:31,930
...and you're trying to tell me
you'd rather park your wrinkly butts...
491
00:31:32,098 --> 00:31:33,682
...on a frozen piece of ice...
492
00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:37,811
...kissing up to a couple of buckets
of fish bait. Ha!
493
00:31:37,979 --> 00:31:40,230
Jesus, listen to Casanova, will you?
494
00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:43,275
Yeah, he's a regular Don Juan.
495
00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:46,403
No wonder the ladies "Don Juan"
anything to do with you.
496
00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:48,488
JOHN: That did it.
- Oh.
497
00:31:48,656 --> 00:31:50,699
I'm out. I am out.
498
00:31:50,867 --> 00:31:53,285
Hey, Max, will you say hello to Jake for me?
499
00:31:53,453 --> 00:31:56,288
Why don't you come over
and have some turkey with us?
500
00:31:56,456 --> 00:31:59,041
There's always plenty of bird
with just Jacob and me.
501
00:31:59,208 --> 00:32:01,668
That way you can spend next week
in bed with ptomaine, huh?
502
00:32:01,836 --> 00:32:04,588
Come on over to my place,
Melanie cooks up a real feast, Chuck.
503
00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:08,258
Thanks, fellas. But you know
those old boys over at the VFW...
504
00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:10,469
...they expect me every Thanksgiving.
505
00:32:10,637 --> 00:32:12,512
Oh, yeah, forget it. See you, Chuck.
506
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,806
- Moron.
- Putz.
507
00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:19,478
Tell me something, Chuck.
508
00:32:19,646 --> 00:32:21,313
- Do I stink?
JOHN: Yeah!
509
00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:24,149
Not you, smartass. Didn't ask you.
510
00:32:27,570 --> 00:32:30,739
I could smell it in the car. This stink.
511
00:32:30,907 --> 00:32:32,449
Is it me?
512
00:32:34,577 --> 00:32:35,619
Yep.
513
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,538
[SNIFFS]
514
00:32:38,706 --> 00:32:39,915
Damn.
515
00:32:43,836 --> 00:32:45,545
[LAUGHING]
516
00:32:51,302 --> 00:32:52,803
[ENGINE STARTS]
517
00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:57,432
Ah, what the hell is that?
518
00:32:58,017 --> 00:32:59,518
For chrissake.
519
00:33:04,565 --> 00:33:05,816
[GRUNTS]
520
00:33:06,901 --> 00:33:16,743
[GROANS]
521
00:33:25,628 --> 00:33:27,045
Gustafson.
522
00:33:27,213 --> 00:33:28,797
[HORN HONKS]
523
00:33:33,219 --> 00:33:35,262
You schmuck!
524
00:33:36,764 --> 00:33:38,390
[GRUNTS]
525
00:33:42,937 --> 00:33:45,564
[TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
526
00:33:49,235 --> 00:33:52,070
Damn disgrace
the way they coach that team.
527
00:33:55,116 --> 00:33:57,701
[BELL TINKLING]
528
00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:05,292
[HUMMING]
529
00:34:08,796 --> 00:34:09,796
Stay there.
530
00:34:09,964 --> 00:34:12,132
Stay there, you little bastard.
531
00:34:13,968 --> 00:34:16,470
[GRUNTING]
532
00:34:16,637 --> 00:34:18,305
[YELLING]
533
00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:22,893
[GRUNTING]
534
00:34:24,812 --> 00:34:26,396
It's the Green Hornet.
535
00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:28,648
[SOBBING]
536
00:34:28,816 --> 00:34:32,152
- How are you, Punky?
- Hey, buttercup.
537
00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:34,237
Give me two packs of Camels...
538
00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:38,283
...and a cup of your special coffee,
you love muffin, you.
539
00:34:38,451 --> 00:34:41,244
You're supposed to be smoking
filter cigarettes, Pop.
540
00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:45,749
Yeah, well, I'm 94 years old.
What the hell do I care, huh?
541
00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:48,627
Oh, thank you, dear.
542
00:34:51,631 --> 00:34:54,549
[MAX GRUNTING]
543
00:34:57,637 --> 00:35:00,347
[CROWD CHATTERING]
544
00:35:02,141 --> 00:35:04,184
- Max is here.
- Ah.
545
00:35:04,352 --> 00:35:06,269
[MAX GROANS]
546
00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:16,279
- Come on, love muffin.
GRANDPA: Yeah, yeah.
547
00:35:16,447 --> 00:35:17,948
[SIGHING]
548
00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:23,870
- Thanks.
- Here.
549
00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:28,333
- You were always there to save me.
- Mm-hm. Yeah, right.
550
00:35:28,501 --> 00:35:31,044
No, really. When Billy Gerber
locked me in his tree house...
551
00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:32,838
...you were my knight in shining armor.
552
00:35:33,005 --> 00:35:35,173
And I got a black eye for my effort.
553
00:35:35,341 --> 00:35:37,134
- Let me get that.
- There you go.
554
00:35:37,301 --> 00:35:38,885
I always knew, you know.
555
00:35:39,053 --> 00:35:40,554
Knew what?
556
00:35:40,721 --> 00:35:43,140
That you had a crush on me
since 6th grade.
557
00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:46,184
You used to watch me
with your dad's binoculars.
558
00:35:46,352 --> 00:35:47,519
- What?
- Mm-hm.
559
00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:49,354
No. I...
560
00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:52,983
You never wondered why my curtains
were open just enough?
561
00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:54,901
I thought I was lucky.
562
00:35:56,195 --> 00:35:58,446
I just did it to torture you. Ha, ha.
563
00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:01,741
Yes. Well, you succeeded wonderfully.
564
00:36:01,909 --> 00:36:04,536
How come you never asked me out?
565
00:36:06,205 --> 00:36:07,747
Uh, I...
566
00:36:07,915 --> 00:36:09,499
Hey, Mel. Hi, Jakey.
567
00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:11,835
Uh, Mel, is the turkey
supposed to be smoking?
568
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:15,213
Oh, man. I better run. See you.
569
00:36:15,381 --> 00:36:16,756
JACOB: Hey, John.
- Hey.
570
00:36:16,924 --> 00:36:18,258
Happy Thanksgiving.
571
00:36:18,426 --> 00:36:21,344
- Yeah. How are you?
- Good.
572
00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:23,597
- They're getting a divorce.
- Huh?
573
00:36:23,806 --> 00:36:28,059
Mel and Mike, they're getting a divorce.
They call it a separation, but it's divorce.
574
00:36:28,269 --> 00:36:30,729
- Gee, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Yeah.
575
00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:32,689
So are you seeing anyone special, are you?
576
00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:35,692
Me? Mmm...
577
00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:39,696
- No, I guess not. Nobody serious.
- What do you know?
578
00:36:41,657 --> 00:36:43,700
We got a new neighbor, did you hear?
579
00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:46,036
JACOB: Everyone in town
is talking about this woman.
580
00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:49,539
Yeah. Gee, she hasn't
been out since 11:20.
581
00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:52,417
What are you doing? Clocking her, John?
582
00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:54,878
Well, she keeps odd hours, you know.
583
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,963
Very interesting woman.
584
00:36:57,131 --> 00:36:59,257
Sounds like a wacko to me.
585
00:37:00,843 --> 00:37:03,261
I haven't had sex for 15 years.
586
00:37:11,896 --> 00:37:13,980
Could I have little? Oh. Mmm.
587
00:37:14,982 --> 00:37:16,024
[BURPS]
588
00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:17,734
GRANDPA: Oh, my.
MELANIE: Too much, Dad?
589
00:37:17,902 --> 00:37:19,152
Yeah, that was plenty.
590
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,446
Hey, why don't you give some of
the leftovers to Jakey?
591
00:37:21,614 --> 00:37:23,114
He'll have his own leftovers.
592
00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:27,202
That pre-cooked stuff his old man gets?
That tastes like cardboard.
593
00:37:28,704 --> 00:37:30,830
Why don't you go and talk to her, Dad?
594
00:37:30,998 --> 00:37:32,457
What? Talk to who?
595
00:37:32,625 --> 00:37:33,875
Ariel.
596
00:37:34,085 --> 00:37:36,169
You spent half the meal
staring out the window.
597
00:37:36,337 --> 00:37:37,379
Just squirrels.
598
00:37:37,546 --> 00:37:40,340
There's the squirrels on her roof.
That's what I was staring at.
599
00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:43,927
You're a handsome, eligible guy
with a nice house, a good pension.
600
00:37:44,095 --> 00:37:45,345
You got a lot to offer her.
601
00:37:45,513 --> 00:37:47,180
Well, I got something to offer her.
602
00:37:47,348 --> 00:37:48,556
[GROWLS]
603
00:37:51,060 --> 00:37:53,478
I got zip to offer her.
604
00:37:54,188 --> 00:37:56,314
JACOB:
Pop, I can't tell if this is done.
605
00:37:59,235 --> 00:38:02,028
Pop, do you know how many minutes
this thing needs to cook?
606
00:38:02,196 --> 00:38:04,114
Getting hungry.
607
00:38:07,243 --> 00:38:10,620
Sure be nice to have some turkey
right about now.
608
00:38:11,247 --> 00:38:12,372
[MAX CHUCKLES]
609
00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:14,833
You remember the turkey
your mother used to make?
610
00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:18,503
- Oh, yeah.
- Damn, she was a good cook.
611
00:38:18,879 --> 00:38:20,672
You remember the stuffing?
612
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,215
BOTH:
The best.
613
00:38:22,383 --> 00:38:25,135
- How about those potato latkes?
- Oy.
614
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,012
[MAX CHUCKLES]
615
00:38:27,179 --> 00:38:29,055
I thought you said
Chuck was going to VFW.
616
00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:31,558
MAX: He is.
JACOB: I don't think so.
617
00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:33,643
What are you talking about?
618
00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:35,729
Looks like he's making a house call.
619
00:38:35,896 --> 00:38:36,980
What?
620
00:38:39,233 --> 00:38:40,400
What in the...
621
00:38:40,568 --> 00:38:42,152
Hell is he doing there?
622
00:38:45,072 --> 00:38:47,324
- He's going to do it.
- So?
623
00:38:47,491 --> 00:38:48,908
What?
624
00:38:49,076 --> 00:38:51,494
What is he doing in that crazy...
625
00:38:51,662 --> 00:38:54,205
- Son of a...
- Jealous?
626
00:38:54,373 --> 00:38:56,374
Of what? Are you...?
627
00:38:56,542 --> 00:38:58,460
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
628
00:39:01,213 --> 00:39:03,131
- He's in.
- He's in.
629
00:39:03,299 --> 00:39:05,133
- He's in!
- Oh.
630
00:39:05,301 --> 00:39:09,012
Looks like Chuck's taking old one-eye
to the optometrist.
631
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:11,222
- Oh, jeez, Dad. What?
- Oh.
632
00:39:12,683 --> 00:39:14,059
God...
633
00:39:44,256 --> 00:39:46,466
- Chuck?
MAX: Chuck, where are you?
634
00:39:46,634 --> 00:39:48,385
JOHN: Ah.
- Hello, fellas.
635
00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:50,553
JOHN: Hey, um...
MAX: Hi, Chuck.
636
00:39:50,721 --> 00:39:53,264
- Some game last night.
MAX: Double overtime.
637
00:39:53,432 --> 00:39:57,060
- Blackhawks were killers, weren't they?
- Did you catch the game, Chuck?
638
00:39:58,771 --> 00:39:59,813
No.
639
00:40:00,481 --> 00:40:03,566
Oh, sure, you were with
the guys at the VFW.
640
00:40:03,734 --> 00:40:08,780
Yeah. How was the turkey at the VFW
this year, Chucky?
641
00:40:10,157 --> 00:40:12,117
The turkey this year...
642
00:40:12,284 --> 00:40:15,078
...was delicious. Ha, ha.
643
00:40:15,871 --> 00:40:16,996
Yeah...
644
00:40:17,164 --> 00:40:18,581
- Oh, come on.
- We saw you.
645
00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:20,792
- You were there half the night.
MAX: What'd you do?
646
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,836
- What's it like in there?
- What did she say?
647
00:40:23,003 --> 00:40:24,879
Fellas. Fellas.
648
00:40:25,214 --> 00:40:27,757
There are some experiences
in life too rich...
649
00:40:27,925 --> 00:40:31,511
...too beautiful to try
to put into words.
650
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:33,680
- What does that mean exactly?
JOHN: Yeah.
651
00:40:33,848 --> 00:40:38,518
Could have been either of you
if you just had the guts to ask.
652
00:40:40,104 --> 00:40:44,190
- You mean, you and she...?
- I'm not talking about sex, dummies.
653
00:40:44,358 --> 00:40:46,109
JOHN: No?
- Of course not.
654
00:40:46,861 --> 00:40:48,528
Oh.
655
00:40:48,696 --> 00:40:50,238
I get it.
656
00:40:51,157 --> 00:40:53,741
Your old pal failed you, huh, Chuck?
657
00:40:54,076 --> 00:40:56,619
Oh, couldn't rise to the occasion?
658
00:40:56,996 --> 00:41:00,874
- Yes, the spirit was willing...
- Yeah, but the flesh was, uh...
659
00:41:01,041 --> 00:41:02,292
Weak, weak.
660
00:41:03,627 --> 00:41:06,212
Okay, okay, if it wasn't sex what was it?
661
00:41:09,175 --> 00:41:11,050
It was an awakening.
662
00:41:12,845 --> 00:41:15,889
Ariel reminded me that I was alive.
663
00:41:16,056 --> 00:41:20,685
That I was a man full of energy,
love, and passion.
664
00:41:20,853 --> 00:41:23,480
It was like being young again.
665
00:41:23,647 --> 00:41:25,690
If only for a moment.
666
00:41:30,237 --> 00:41:32,030
Couldn't get it up, huh, Chuck?
667
00:41:34,450 --> 00:41:36,493
Get out of here, both of you.
668
00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:38,578
Yeah, I'll see you.
669
00:41:40,414 --> 00:41:42,040
Yeah, but...
670
00:41:43,250 --> 00:41:44,834
[STAMMERS]
671
00:41:45,294 --> 00:41:47,837
MAX: So long.
CHUCK: Hey, boys.
672
00:41:49,548 --> 00:41:52,634
That's not just a woman
living across your street.
673
00:41:52,801 --> 00:41:55,261
She's an angel.
674
00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,681
Angel, right. Take it easy, Chuck.
675
00:42:01,393 --> 00:42:02,769
See you, Chuck.
676
00:42:04,271 --> 00:42:07,398
[LAUGHING]
677
00:42:15,282 --> 00:42:16,574
[YELPS]
678
00:42:22,122 --> 00:42:23,122
[SCREAMS]
679
00:43:09,461 --> 00:43:11,671
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
680
00:43:21,265 --> 00:43:22,974
MAX:
Holy moly.
681
00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:26,728
Look at all the crap you...
Excuse me. The stuff you got here.
682
00:43:26,895 --> 00:43:30,690
ARIEL: Well, it's my inspiration.
- You did...? You're an artist?
683
00:43:30,858 --> 00:43:33,067
Ah, I try.
684
00:43:33,527 --> 00:43:37,697
I used to teach courses
in Expressionism at Berkeley.
685
00:43:37,906 --> 00:43:41,034
But now I'm back to
the classics of literature.
686
00:43:41,410 --> 00:43:43,453
Berkeley, that explains it.
687
00:43:43,912 --> 00:43:45,163
Oh, my God.
688
00:43:45,914 --> 00:43:47,373
ARIEL:
What?
689
00:43:47,541 --> 00:43:50,043
Your TV. It's got no guts.
690
00:43:50,210 --> 00:43:51,377
I took them out.
691
00:43:51,545 --> 00:43:55,006
How could you do that
to a '54 Super Zenith?
692
00:43:55,174 --> 00:43:57,216
This TV is a classic.
693
00:43:57,384 --> 00:44:00,720
I can fix it for you though,
if you wanted me to.
694
00:44:00,888 --> 00:44:03,806
That's what I used to do.
I was a TV repairman.
695
00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:06,726
Aw, that's so sweet, Max, but...
696
00:44:06,894 --> 00:44:09,437
...you know, I think it works quite well...
697
00:44:09,605 --> 00:44:11,606
...just the way it is.
698
00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:16,277
How the hell does she see any shows?
699
00:44:23,077 --> 00:44:24,577
Holy moly.
700
00:44:29,833 --> 00:44:31,376
ARIEL:
I see you've met Ernest.
701
00:44:31,919 --> 00:44:34,545
- Who?
- The model was my husband.
702
00:44:35,464 --> 00:44:38,383
Boy, he sure wasn't pleased about
modeling in the nude.
703
00:44:38,550 --> 00:44:41,552
Took quite a bit of prompting, I must say.
704
00:44:42,805 --> 00:44:44,222
He's, uh...
705
00:44:44,848 --> 00:44:46,224
Passed on.
706
00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:48,518
Five years ago.
707
00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:52,063
Hmm. Would you like some coffee?
708
00:44:52,231 --> 00:44:54,399
- Yeah.
- Cream and sugar?
709
00:44:54,566 --> 00:44:56,317
Yeah.
710
00:44:57,611 --> 00:44:58,945
Hmm.
711
00:45:06,954 --> 00:45:08,579
[GROANS]
712
00:45:08,747 --> 00:45:11,791
Sure moved around a lot
the last few years, didn't you?
713
00:45:11,959 --> 00:45:16,421
Yeah, I think it's exciting
to experience new things...
714
00:45:16,588 --> 00:45:19,924
...new places, and meet new people.
715
00:45:20,092 --> 00:45:21,342
Like you.
716
00:45:25,431 --> 00:45:27,014
Do you paint?
717
00:45:27,182 --> 00:45:29,100
- Paint? Me?
- Yes. Uh-huh.
718
00:45:29,268 --> 00:45:30,435
Sure do.
719
00:45:30,602 --> 00:45:32,270
I paint the shed every spring.
720
00:45:32,438 --> 00:45:33,813
- Ha-ha!
- No. No.
721
00:45:33,981 --> 00:45:36,023
- You get it?
- I get it, I get it.
722
00:45:36,191 --> 00:45:38,484
No, I mean, you know...
723
00:45:38,652 --> 00:45:40,153
...pictures, paintings.
724
00:45:41,113 --> 00:45:42,822
What for?
725
00:45:42,990 --> 00:45:46,242
Everyone needs some form of...
726
00:45:47,161 --> 00:45:48,828
...release.
727
00:45:49,705 --> 00:45:51,038
I fish.
728
00:45:52,082 --> 00:45:53,124
Fish?
729
00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:56,002
Fish...
730
00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:58,171
Oh. Yeah, fish.
731
00:45:58,338 --> 00:46:01,007
Oh, yeah. I can see the beauty in that.
732
00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:03,384
- Yeah?
- Mm.
733
00:46:06,346 --> 00:46:09,557
Miss Truax,
would you do me the honor...
734
00:46:09,725 --> 00:46:12,685
...of accompanying me
to my ice shanty tomorrow?
735
00:46:16,231 --> 00:46:18,357
I'd be honored.
736
00:46:23,614 --> 00:46:25,948
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
737
00:46:27,075 --> 00:46:29,994
MAX: See you tomorrow.
ARIEL: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
738
00:46:30,162 --> 00:46:31,788
[BOTH LAUGH]
739
00:46:31,955 --> 00:46:33,331
ARIEL: Be careful.
MAX: Okay.
740
00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:38,377
[MAX SINGING "HEAT WAVE"]
741
00:46:42,508 --> 00:46:44,133
Whoa!
742
00:46:44,301 --> 00:46:46,636
- I can't hold it!
MAX: Reel him in.
743
00:46:46,804 --> 00:46:48,971
ARIEL: I can't hold him, Max.
- Work him. Work him.
744
00:46:49,139 --> 00:46:51,891
ARIEL: I'm trying. He's so strong!
MAX: Easy does it.
745
00:46:52,059 --> 00:46:53,976
MAX: Reel it in.
- I can't hold it.
746
00:46:54,144 --> 00:46:56,687
- I'm trying but I can't!
- All right. Give me the pole.
747
00:46:56,855 --> 00:46:59,148
Oh, not yet. Not on your life.
Get out of here!
748
00:46:59,316 --> 00:47:01,359
- Let me... Pull!
- Stop!
749
00:47:01,527 --> 00:47:04,737
[ARIEL & MAX SHOUTING]
750
00:47:04,905 --> 00:47:05,988
[ARIEL SCREAMING]
751
00:47:06,156 --> 00:47:08,533
MAX: That's it. Coming. Coming.
ARIEL: Aah! Aah!
752
00:47:08,700 --> 00:47:09,909
Morning, John.
753
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,911
[ARIEL & MAX SHOUTING]
754
00:47:12,079 --> 00:47:13,746
Morning, Punky.
755
00:47:13,914 --> 00:47:16,207
ARIEL: Oh, Max.
MAX: Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
756
00:47:16,375 --> 00:47:20,211
- Oh, I almost lost him.
- Max, oh, he's just magnificent.
757
00:47:20,379 --> 00:47:23,214
Magnificent? He's a damn record-breaker.
You've got a 3-footer.
758
00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:25,258
Oh, Max.
759
00:47:25,425 --> 00:47:27,426
I can see the beauty in this now.
760
00:47:27,594 --> 00:47:30,930
- Can you see it?
- Yes, the lure. No, the fight.
761
00:47:31,098 --> 00:47:33,474
- The fight. Wait till I show the guys.
- The catch.
762
00:47:33,642 --> 00:47:35,768
- What a catch.
- And then the release.
763
00:47:35,936 --> 00:47:37,061
The release!
764
00:47:37,229 --> 00:47:40,731
- What release? There's no release.
- Oh, yes, it's beautiful.
765
00:47:40,899 --> 00:47:44,360
No, I'll tell you what's beautiful.
This monster on my wall stuffed.
766
00:47:44,528 --> 00:47:48,406
Oh, no. There can be no stuffing.
This is a live creature.
767
00:47:48,574 --> 00:47:51,325
Full of courage and life.
768
00:47:51,493 --> 00:47:53,744
Nobody's gonna believe me.
Let me get a camera.
769
00:47:53,912 --> 00:47:55,538
- Oh, no.
- Just hold it for a minute.
770
00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:58,082
- I hear the water calling it back, Max.
- Where is it?
771
00:47:58,250 --> 00:48:00,251
ARIEL: Here we go.
- Wait, wait!
772
00:48:00,419 --> 00:48:03,296
- Calling.
- Here. Hold it. Hold it!
773
00:48:03,463 --> 00:48:04,881
[ARIEL YELPS]
774
00:48:05,048 --> 00:48:09,135
[SCREAMING]
775
00:48:11,221 --> 00:48:13,472
[ALL CHATTERING]
776
00:48:14,641 --> 00:48:15,683
Hey, Pop.
777
00:48:21,356 --> 00:48:23,816
Hey. Just finishing breakfast.
778
00:48:23,984 --> 00:48:25,818
So I see.
779
00:48:26,612 --> 00:48:29,530
Colder than a witch's titty out there,
isn't it?
780
00:48:30,782 --> 00:48:32,533
Where did you get this fishing pole?
781
00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:35,786
GRANDPA:
Oh, I snagged it about an hour ago.
782
00:48:35,954 --> 00:48:38,164
The only damn thing I caught all day.
783
00:48:38,332 --> 00:48:39,999
Ah.
784
00:48:43,837 --> 00:48:46,213
Hey, Chuck, guess what Pop found.
785
00:48:46,381 --> 00:48:47,840
[JOHN CHUCKLES]
786
00:48:52,512 --> 00:48:53,971
Chuck?
787
00:48:55,098 --> 00:48:57,058
Chuck? Hey, Chuck!
788
00:48:58,018 --> 00:49:02,188
Ch... You forgot to unlock
the back door, you dummy.
789
00:49:10,781 --> 00:49:12,698
[DISPATCH RADIO CHATTERING]
790
00:49:20,207 --> 00:49:23,626
Isn't it wonderful to have
a little adventure every day?
791
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:26,379
All I know is you're one hell
of a fisherman, Ariel.
792
00:49:26,546 --> 00:49:28,464
Oh. I learned from the best.
793
00:49:28,882 --> 00:49:31,342
Oh, I hope you weren't mad at me
for putting them all back.
794
00:49:31,510 --> 00:49:34,512
Ah, that's okay.
Gustafson does the same thing.
795
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:38,557
He just keeps the ones he eats.
That's what he says.
796
00:49:38,725 --> 00:49:40,142
I think he never catches them.
797
00:49:40,310 --> 00:49:42,812
- Ha, ha.
- Ha, ha. Oh, Max.
798
00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:45,147
I think we're going to be great friends.
799
00:49:45,315 --> 00:49:47,108
Oh, fr... Fr...
800
00:49:47,734 --> 00:49:50,319
Friends. Friends is good.
That's good, isn't it?
801
00:49:50,487 --> 00:49:52,738
- Yeah.
- Mm-hm.
802
00:49:52,906 --> 00:49:55,658
How about some supper tonight?
After your class, I mean.
803
00:49:55,826 --> 00:50:00,204
Oh, thank you so much, but I already
have made plans. I'm sorry.
804
00:50:00,372 --> 00:50:02,581
- Oh.
- But I'll take a rain check.
805
00:50:02,749 --> 00:50:04,875
- That's a deal.
- Okay?
806
00:50:05,043 --> 00:50:07,920
Yeah.
Until we meet again, my dear Ariel.
807
00:50:08,088 --> 00:50:09,630
Yes.
808
00:50:09,798 --> 00:50:11,382
- Ha, ha.
- Goodbye.
809
00:50:12,968 --> 00:50:14,760
Watch out. Don't slip.
810
00:50:14,928 --> 00:50:16,929
[CHUCKLES]
811
00:50:26,523 --> 00:50:29,859
Well, Gustafson,
looks like the best man won.
812
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:35,531
Ah. You always were a lousy loser.
813
00:50:35,699 --> 00:50:37,324
[GRUNTS]
814
00:50:37,492 --> 00:50:39,118
He's dead.
815
00:50:39,953 --> 00:50:42,788
- What? Who?
- Chuck.
816
00:50:42,956 --> 00:50:44,623
Chuck? How?
817
00:50:45,959 --> 00:50:47,752
Last night in his sleep.
818
00:50:47,919 --> 00:50:49,837
In his sleep.
819
00:50:51,089 --> 00:50:52,631
Lucky bastard.
820
00:50:52,799 --> 00:50:56,052
Of course, you might have known
if you hadn't been out with that minx.
821
00:50:56,219 --> 00:50:59,638
Hey, it ain't my fault.
Chuck was a friend of mine too.
822
00:50:59,806 --> 00:51:02,767
You call yourself a friend?
You bastard.
823
00:51:02,934 --> 00:51:05,102
Hey, watch your mouth,
you dumb frigging Swede.
824
00:51:05,270 --> 00:51:07,521
Look, don't tell me what to do, huh?
825
00:51:07,689 --> 00:51:09,732
Yeah, yeah.
Big man with the ax in your hand.
826
00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:13,652
Ax? All right, fine. You wanna clock me?
You think you can take me? Come on.
827
00:51:13,820 --> 00:51:16,947
- All right. 1937, at Todd Field...
- Oh, for God's sake.
828
00:51:17,115 --> 00:51:21,660
...I kicked your ass after football practice
when you stole my liniment.
829
00:51:21,828 --> 00:51:25,331
- I kicked your ass and I can do it again.
- Bullshit.
830
00:51:25,499 --> 00:51:27,500
Give it your best shot, shrimp.
831
00:51:30,670 --> 00:51:32,421
It's not worth the effort.
832
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:35,841
Get out of there.
833
00:51:37,427 --> 00:51:38,969
[SIGHS]
834
00:51:44,101 --> 00:51:45,267
Damn.
835
00:51:46,436 --> 00:51:49,855
He has the intelligence quotient
of a newt.
836
00:51:58,156 --> 00:51:59,532
[GRUNTS]
837
00:52:03,995 --> 00:52:06,705
Shrimp thinks
he can get funny with me.
838
00:52:08,166 --> 00:52:09,667
Left hook...
839
00:52:09,835 --> 00:52:11,544
...right cross...
840
00:52:11,711 --> 00:52:13,254
...and dump him.
841
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:20,636
Oh, Chuck.
842
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:23,472
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
843
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,225
I'm gonna kill him.
844
00:52:27,018 --> 00:52:29,395
God damn you, Goldman, you...
845
00:52:30,772 --> 00:52:32,064
John Gustafson?
846
00:52:32,232 --> 00:52:34,817
I'm Elliot Snyder
of the Internal Revenue Service.
847
00:52:34,985 --> 00:52:37,486
I'm asking you
to accompany me to my office.
848
00:53:11,980 --> 00:53:14,440
[CLATTERING NEARBY]
849
00:53:18,987 --> 00:53:20,029
Slick?
850
00:53:20,739 --> 00:53:22,615
[SLICK MEOWS]
851
00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:30,915
[MUTTERS]
852
00:53:32,918 --> 00:53:34,793
[CLATTERING]
853
00:54:00,820 --> 00:54:02,821
- Oh!
- Hi.
854
00:54:02,989 --> 00:54:03,989
[GASPS]
855
00:54:04,157 --> 00:54:06,450
I was wondering where you were.
856
00:54:06,618 --> 00:54:08,244
I, uh...
857
00:54:08,411 --> 00:54:11,330
I had a little, uh, business.
858
00:54:11,498 --> 00:54:13,624
Oh, I hope it went all right.
859
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:16,919
Yeah. Uh, wh... What are you doing?
860
00:54:17,087 --> 00:54:19,171
Cooking. Ha, ha.
861
00:54:19,339 --> 00:54:21,674
Cooking. Yes, yeah. That's...
862
00:54:25,095 --> 00:54:27,263
Oh, wait a minute.
I can't have anything spicy.
863
00:54:27,430 --> 00:54:29,682
I mean, if it's too exciting, I'm up all night.
864
00:54:30,392 --> 00:54:33,102
Good. I'm making Sichuan.
865
00:54:34,521 --> 00:54:37,773
Ah, gotcha.
866
00:54:39,317 --> 00:54:43,862
From the moment I saw you, I could feel
that we had the same kind of aura.
867
00:54:44,030 --> 00:54:47,032
- That we share something special.
- Teaching.
868
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,910
Thirty-nine years I taught American history
at Wabasha High.
869
00:54:50,078 --> 00:54:53,122
Oh. History, it's so romantic.
870
00:54:54,457 --> 00:54:57,001
Great dental plan.
871
00:54:57,168 --> 00:54:58,669
[LAUGHS]
872
00:55:01,006 --> 00:55:03,424
All the ideas that you brought
to those young minds.
873
00:55:03,591 --> 00:55:06,176
Yeah, the kids think they know it all, right?
874
00:55:06,511 --> 00:55:09,346
Oh, once in a while you reach one.
You touch them somehow.
875
00:55:09,514 --> 00:55:11,598
- I did that once.
- Really?
876
00:55:11,766 --> 00:55:13,726
It was my Roosevelt's New Deal lecture.
877
00:55:13,893 --> 00:55:16,895
I touched a kid on the back of his head
while he was snoring.
878
00:55:17,063 --> 00:55:18,856
- Ha, ha.
- You're so bad.
879
00:55:19,024 --> 00:55:20,232
[LAUGHS]
880
00:55:22,235 --> 00:55:23,986
You know, uh...
881
00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:29,033
- Chuck, he...
- Mm.
882
00:55:31,411 --> 00:55:33,912
- I know.
- Oh.
883
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:38,167
We can be thankful that
we had the privilege of knowing him...
884
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:39,918
...while he was here.
885
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:46,175
Yeah.
886
00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:49,636
To Chuck.
887
00:55:50,764 --> 00:55:52,848
Yes, to Chuck.
888
00:56:03,526 --> 00:56:06,278
Thank you, John.
It was a wonderful evening.
889
00:56:06,446 --> 00:56:08,030
Thank you, Ariel.
890
00:56:26,091 --> 00:56:29,134
- Now, Pop, you think I should I call her?
- What?
891
00:56:29,302 --> 00:56:30,844
- What?
- The woman.
892
00:56:31,096 --> 00:56:34,306
Well, let me tell you something, John.
893
00:56:34,516 --> 00:56:37,226
That the first 90 years or so...
894
00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:40,312
...they go by pretty fast.
- Ha, ha. Yeah?
895
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:43,816
- What?
- The first 90 years, they go by pretty fast.
896
00:56:43,983 --> 00:56:47,152
Yeah, but how would you know?
You're just a damn kid.
897
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:49,196
Well, I didn't say it, you did.
898
00:56:49,364 --> 00:56:52,116
- Well, they do. They go fast.
- Okay. All right.
899
00:56:52,283 --> 00:56:54,284
- Then one day you wake up...
- Yeah?
900
00:56:54,452 --> 00:56:56,036
...and you realize...
901
00:56:56,204 --> 00:56:59,248
...ha, ha, that you're not 81 anymore.
902
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:02,334
And then you begin to count the minutes
rather than the days...
903
00:57:02,502 --> 00:57:06,296
...and you realize
that pretty soon you'll be gone.
904
00:57:06,464 --> 00:57:09,842
And that all you have, see,
is the experiences.
905
00:57:10,009 --> 00:57:13,762
That's all there is, Johnny.
Everything. The experiences.
906
00:57:19,310 --> 00:57:21,687
You mount the woman, son. Ha, ha.
907
00:57:23,231 --> 00:57:24,857
Or else, uh...
908
00:57:25,024 --> 00:57:27,359
...send her out to me, huh?
909
00:57:34,159 --> 00:57:56,555
[BOTH SCREAMING]
910
00:58:08,818 --> 00:58:11,778
I happened to come by
these two tickets for the Gopher game.
911
00:58:11,946 --> 00:58:13,530
[DOORBELL RINGS]
912
00:58:14,282 --> 00:58:16,158
So, Ariel, uh...
913
00:58:16,326 --> 00:58:19,077
...ever play much ice hockey?
Ha-ha-ha.
914
00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:23,540
- Ah, schmuck.
SNYDER: Mr. Gustafson.
915
00:58:23,708 --> 00:58:27,711
Mr. Gustafson. We had an appointment.
916
00:58:36,763 --> 00:58:39,556
JOHN:
There she is. Wabasha.
917
00:58:41,309 --> 00:58:42,434
ARIEL:
Hmm.
918
00:58:42,602 --> 00:58:45,062
It is just beautiful.
919
00:58:45,230 --> 00:58:49,399
Yeah. Yeah, from up here. I used to
camp out up here when I was a kid.
920
00:58:53,154 --> 00:58:54,613
What are you thinking?
921
00:58:54,781 --> 00:58:56,865
Oh, I'm sorry. I just...
922
00:58:57,659 --> 00:58:58,992
It's the snow.
923
00:59:00,787 --> 00:59:03,914
Reminded me of the last Christmas
I spent with my husband.
924
00:59:09,462 --> 00:59:12,339
- Are you all right?
- Yes, an angel.
925
00:59:12,507 --> 00:59:15,509
- What?
- I'm making a snow angel, remember?
926
00:59:15,677 --> 00:59:17,261
Oh. Oh, yeah.
927
00:59:17,428 --> 00:59:19,096
Yeah. I remember.
928
00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:20,806
ARIEL:
Whoo!
929
00:59:20,974 --> 00:59:23,308
[BOTH LAUGHING]
930
00:59:28,231 --> 00:59:30,148
Hey.
931
00:59:33,027 --> 00:59:34,820
Do you believe in angels?
932
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:37,239
- Oh, yeah.
- Uh-huh?
933
00:59:37,407 --> 00:59:39,616
- Oh, they're all around us.
- Yeah?
934
00:59:39,784 --> 00:59:43,412
Mm-hm. You've got to look hard
but they're there...
935
00:59:44,706 --> 00:59:47,666
...whenever anything good happens to us.
936
00:59:48,876 --> 00:59:50,460
I think I see one.
937
01:00:00,013 --> 01:00:02,055
[BOTH LAUGHING]
938
01:00:08,938 --> 01:00:11,648
WOMAN [ON TV]: Look at how large
Papa's bald spot is.
939
01:00:11,816 --> 01:00:15,068
MAN [ON TV]: Actually does look
like hair growing there.
940
01:00:15,236 --> 01:00:19,531
- You could imagine
problems that will become reality.
941
01:00:20,950 --> 01:00:23,744
[UPBEAT POP MUSIC
PLAYING ON TV]
942
01:00:40,303 --> 01:00:44,348
MAN 2 [ON TV]: Give it all you've got.
Again and again and again.
943
01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:48,268
Aha.
944
01:00:49,187 --> 01:00:51,563
I'll have you mated in three moves.
945
01:00:51,731 --> 01:00:54,983
Shouldn't we get to know each other
a little better first?
946
01:00:58,696 --> 01:01:02,032
Oh, you have a wonderful smile.
You should wear it more often.
947
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:03,992
Yeah? L... l...
948
01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:06,912
I bring it out on special occasions.
Heh.
949
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:08,330
Hmm.
950
01:01:09,999 --> 01:01:11,208
Tell me, who's this?
951
01:01:11,376 --> 01:01:13,418
- What?
- Over here.
952
01:01:13,586 --> 01:01:16,004
- Oh, that's my dad. That's Pop.
- Oh.
953
01:01:16,172 --> 01:01:19,091
The handsome guy right behind him.
You know him, I think, don't you?
954
01:01:19,258 --> 01:01:22,344
My daughter Melanie and her mother,
and Melanie and her husband, Mike.
955
01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:24,012
- She's beautiful.
- Yeah.
956
01:01:24,180 --> 01:01:26,264
Now, these people over here?
957
01:01:26,432 --> 01:01:29,309
Ah, the little girl is Alexandra,
my granddaughter.
958
01:01:29,477 --> 01:01:33,105
- And my son, Brian.
- Oh, he's so handsome.
959
01:01:33,731 --> 01:01:35,399
Lost him in Vietnam.
960
01:01:35,566 --> 01:01:38,944
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, that's okay. It's all right. It's okay.
961
01:01:39,737 --> 01:01:41,071
And these little guys.
962
01:01:41,239 --> 01:01:44,116
- Oh, ha. That's me and the moron.
- Max?
963
01:01:44,283 --> 01:01:46,535
- Of course it's Max. He's ugly isn't he?
- Ha, ha!
964
01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:48,745
ARIEL:
Oh, you mean you were friends?
965
01:01:48,913 --> 01:01:51,123
Well, I was 10. I didn't know any better.
966
01:01:52,542 --> 01:01:55,961
What can make two grown men spend
most of their lives fighting each other?
967
01:01:56,129 --> 01:01:58,171
- Oh, guess.
- A woman.
968
01:01:58,339 --> 01:02:00,716
- Uh, yeah.
- How romantic.
969
01:02:00,883 --> 01:02:04,636
Oh, no, it wasn't romantic at all.
It was... Ah, well.
970
01:02:06,639 --> 01:02:09,057
What did I know? I was just a kid.
971
01:02:09,225 --> 01:02:11,560
Which I am not anymore.
972
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:28,285
I think it's kind of late.
973
01:02:29,829 --> 01:02:32,914
Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. I guess...
974
01:02:33,082 --> 01:02:34,708
It's time for bed.
975
01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:42,424
[WHISPERS]
God, you are dumb, dumb, dumb.
976
01:02:46,929 --> 01:02:49,139
Ariel, I'm sorry that...
977
01:02:53,686 --> 01:02:55,312
I thought you said...
978
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:57,856
I said it's time for bed.
979
01:02:59,025 --> 01:03:01,651
- Well, wait a minute. What about...
- What?
980
01:03:01,819 --> 01:03:03,695
Well, you know, you've been seeing...
981
01:03:03,863 --> 01:03:05,405
- Max?
- Yeah, Max.
982
01:03:05,573 --> 01:03:07,199
He's just my friend.
983
01:03:08,117 --> 01:03:10,786
Uh, yeah, but, uh...
984
01:03:10,953 --> 01:03:12,996
The last man that I slept with
was my husband.
985
01:03:13,164 --> 01:03:14,539
Uh...
986
01:03:17,126 --> 01:03:19,836
Oh, God. Wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute.
987
01:03:24,175 --> 01:03:25,967
I'm not prepared.
988
01:03:26,761 --> 01:03:30,472
See, these days, they say
you have to do safe sex.
989
01:03:32,058 --> 01:03:34,309
John, when was the last time
you made love?
990
01:03:36,604 --> 01:03:38,897
October 4.
991
01:03:42,401 --> 01:03:43,777
1978.
992
01:03:45,822 --> 01:03:48,573
Oh, I think we're safe.
993
01:03:59,418 --> 01:04:02,128
[MAX HUMMING]
994
01:04:02,296 --> 01:04:03,713
[SNIFFING]
995
01:04:04,257 --> 01:04:05,632
[SIGHS]
996
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:07,884
[CHUCKLES]
997
01:04:19,605 --> 01:04:20,939
ARIEL:
Max!
998
01:04:21,107 --> 01:04:22,524
Good morning.
999
01:04:23,985 --> 01:04:25,360
Oh, are those for me?
1000
01:04:25,528 --> 01:04:28,905
- Oh, yeah.
- They're just beautiful. Thank you.
1001
01:04:29,532 --> 01:04:32,033
- They're for you. I got them for you.
- Thank you.
1002
01:04:32,201 --> 01:04:34,786
Thank you. How sweet.
1003
01:04:35,371 --> 01:04:36,997
I...
1004
01:04:38,416 --> 01:04:40,083
...got them for you.
1005
01:04:46,465 --> 01:04:48,258
Snake in the grass.
1006
01:05:31,510 --> 01:05:33,887
Burn, baby, burn.
1007
01:05:54,241 --> 01:05:56,076
[GRUNTS]
1008
01:05:57,370 --> 01:05:58,995
[BURPS]
1009
01:06:12,301 --> 01:06:14,094
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
1010
01:06:22,061 --> 01:06:23,853
JOHN:
How you doing, Punky?
1011
01:06:26,524 --> 01:06:27,565
MAX:
Creep.
1012
01:06:39,245 --> 01:06:41,246
[OPERA MUSIC PLAYING]
1013
01:06:46,419 --> 01:06:48,003
[SIGHS]
1014
01:06:51,632 --> 01:06:53,049
[THUD THEN RECORD SCRATCHES]
1015
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:57,095
[THUD]
1016
01:06:57,263 --> 01:06:59,305
[CREAK]
1017
01:07:00,599 --> 01:07:02,100
[CLUNK]
1018
01:07:04,395 --> 01:07:05,520
[CREAKING]
1019
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:09,274
[GASPS]
1020
01:07:15,114 --> 01:07:17,073
[HORN HONKING]
1021
01:07:19,910 --> 01:07:23,580
Holy shit. Max. Stop the car, you idiot!
1022
01:07:24,081 --> 01:07:27,042
Look out, Goldman's gone nuts.
Look out!
1023
01:07:27,209 --> 01:07:29,711
- Look out! Look out!
- Aah!
1024
01:07:31,255 --> 01:07:34,299
- Max, you've really lost it.
- Dirty little bastard.
1025
01:07:34,467 --> 01:07:37,135
Are you out of your mind? Max!
1026
01:07:38,304 --> 01:07:39,637
JOHN:
Oh, my God!
1027
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:44,642
[SCREAMING]
1028
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:52,817
Yes!
1029
01:07:52,985 --> 01:07:54,944
[JOHN GROANS]
1030
01:07:58,199 --> 01:07:59,657
Oh, no.
1031
01:08:04,497 --> 01:08:06,581
He belongs in a rubber room.
1032
01:08:09,335 --> 01:08:11,377
[GROWLS]
1033
01:08:13,380 --> 01:08:15,799
I fixed your fishing pole.
1034
01:08:15,966 --> 01:08:18,510
Who cares about a damn fishing pole?
1035
01:08:18,677 --> 01:08:20,512
You can shove that pole.
1036
01:08:20,679 --> 01:08:24,140
You think a lousy old pole
is gonna replace her?
1037
01:08:26,102 --> 01:08:27,435
[GRUNTS]
1038
01:08:27,603 --> 01:08:28,937
Are you crazy?
1039
01:08:29,105 --> 01:08:30,605
[CROWD SHOUTING]
1040
01:08:30,773 --> 01:08:34,359
Don't egg him on. Go back to your fishing
and leave him alone, all right?
1041
01:08:34,527 --> 01:08:35,985
- We'll settle this thing.
- Aargh!
1042
01:08:36,153 --> 01:08:38,321
Max, cut it out.
1043
01:08:38,489 --> 01:08:40,448
[ALL SHOUTING]
1044
01:08:43,536 --> 01:08:46,162
Shrimp, you're not going anywhere.
1045
01:08:50,042 --> 01:08:51,459
MAX: Come on. Aah!
- Aah!
1046
01:08:51,627 --> 01:08:53,837
[CROWD SHOUTING]
1047
01:09:00,553 --> 01:09:04,639
- Oh, you broke my nose!
- I didn't break your damn nose.
1048
01:09:05,933 --> 01:09:08,643
Look at that.
What the hell has gotten into you?
1049
01:09:08,811 --> 01:09:10,728
- You stole her, didn't you?
- What?
1050
01:09:10,896 --> 01:09:12,313
She's mine.
1051
01:09:12,898 --> 01:09:14,107
- Says who?
- Says me.
1052
01:09:14,275 --> 01:09:15,984
Yeah? Well, she came to me.
1053
01:09:16,152 --> 01:09:19,320
Bull. You're trying to steal
her away, just like you did May.
1054
01:09:19,488 --> 01:09:22,657
Oh, for God's sake. Could I remind you,
Einstein, May was no prize.
1055
01:09:22,825 --> 01:09:25,577
- She was to me.
- I was married to the woman 20 years.
1056
01:09:25,744 --> 01:09:27,537
- She was no prize.
- She was to me.
1057
01:09:27,705 --> 01:09:30,665
Yeah. Well, that's why you're a moron.
If you'd ended up with May...
1058
01:09:30,833 --> 01:09:33,501
...you never would have had Amy.
And Amy was a good woman.
1059
01:09:33,669 --> 01:09:36,421
- She was the best.
- And more loyal than May ever was.
1060
01:09:36,589 --> 01:09:37,672
- Absolutely.
- So.
1061
01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:39,340
- So what?
- Huh?
1062
01:09:39,508 --> 01:09:41,342
What?
1063
01:09:42,219 --> 01:09:44,262
- Huh?
- So?
1064
01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:45,597
What?
1065
01:09:47,266 --> 01:09:50,226
- What?
- What?
1066
01:09:50,394 --> 01:09:52,103
Did you...
1067
01:09:53,731 --> 01:09:55,398
Well, did you?
1068
01:09:55,566 --> 01:09:56,900
What?
1069
01:09:57,067 --> 01:09:58,359
You know.
1070
01:09:58,527 --> 01:10:02,780
- Oh, that's a private matter.
- Private, my foot. Did you?
1071
01:10:02,948 --> 01:10:04,782
- That's all I can tell you.
- You better tell me.
1072
01:10:04,950 --> 01:10:07,619
All right, we did the horizontal mambo!
We danced it!
1073
01:10:07,786 --> 01:10:10,705
It was the greatest sex I ever had
in my life. All right, are you happy?
1074
01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:13,208
- You...
- Oh, shit! Shit!
1075
01:10:14,585 --> 01:10:18,296
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1076
01:10:18,464 --> 01:10:21,799
[CROWD SHOUTING]
1077
01:10:23,886 --> 01:10:27,096
Hey! Drop that fish.
1078
01:10:27,264 --> 01:10:30,391
Huh? Mr. Gustafson.
1079
01:10:30,559 --> 01:10:34,229
Don't make me
have to separate you two again, damn it.
1080
01:10:35,564 --> 01:10:40,401
Now go to your shanties, all of you.
You're scaring the fish away.
1081
01:10:40,945 --> 01:10:42,153
Damn kids.
1082
01:10:44,865 --> 01:10:48,201
GRANDPA: Kids. You can't live with them,
can't shoot them.
1083
01:10:51,538 --> 01:10:56,000
How you gonna take care
of her, huh, Gustafson? Huh?
1084
01:10:56,168 --> 01:11:00,421
How are you gonna support her
when the IRS takes your house away?
1085
01:11:04,510 --> 01:11:08,388
I can't wait around for another Amy.
I ain't got time.
1086
01:11:59,898 --> 01:12:03,484
JOHN:
Okay, Max. This time you win.
1087
01:12:16,248 --> 01:12:17,707
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
1088
01:12:27,885 --> 01:12:29,052
- Hi there.
- Ariel, uh...
1089
01:12:29,219 --> 01:12:31,054
If you're not going to keep
our date tonight...
1090
01:12:31,221 --> 01:12:33,556
...I'm bringing the date to you.
- Huh?
1091
01:12:34,266 --> 01:12:37,602
You promised that you would come over
and give me the New Deal lecture...
1092
01:12:37,770 --> 01:12:40,021
- and like a good student...
- Uh, what's that?
1093
01:12:41,148 --> 01:12:42,565
It's a gift.
1094
01:12:43,609 --> 01:12:45,234
A snow angel.
1095
01:12:46,612 --> 01:12:48,279
You inspired it.
1096
01:12:53,118 --> 01:12:54,410
I can't accept it.
1097
01:12:55,871 --> 01:12:57,246
Why not?
1098
01:12:58,874 --> 01:13:01,334
I, uh... It doesn't... It...
1099
01:13:03,337 --> 01:13:06,964
Ariel, I think it might be a very good idea
if we didn't see each other.
1100
01:13:07,132 --> 01:13:09,467
I mean, for a while. Anyway.
1101
01:13:09,635 --> 01:13:12,929
You know, give each of us
a chance to be alone and...
1102
01:13:13,097 --> 01:13:14,639
But I thought...
1103
01:13:14,807 --> 01:13:16,974
Ah, goddamn it.
Look, Ariel, please.
1104
01:13:17,142 --> 01:13:20,144
- First place, I'm too old for you. Okay?
- What does that...?
1105
01:13:20,312 --> 01:13:23,398
Mainly, I don't like you coming over here
any time you feel like it.
1106
01:13:23,565 --> 01:13:26,818
I don't like you hanging around here
all day long, damn it.
1107
01:13:27,736 --> 01:13:30,613
Look, I'm not like you.
L... I'm not afraid to be alone.
1108
01:13:30,781 --> 01:13:32,824
I am not afraid to be alone.
1109
01:13:32,991 --> 01:13:36,202
I just prefer to experience things...
1110
01:13:36,370 --> 01:13:39,872
...and not just watch them on television
or looking out the windows like you do.
1111
01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:42,750
Don't you understand? I like being alone.
1112
01:13:42,918 --> 01:13:44,627
Oh, I understand.
1113
01:13:44,795 --> 01:13:46,337
I understand completely.
1114
01:13:46,505 --> 01:13:48,005
You don't know a damn thing about me.
1115
01:13:48,173 --> 01:13:50,174
I do too.
1116
01:13:50,342 --> 01:13:53,469
And I also know that the only things
in life that you regret...
1117
01:13:53,637 --> 01:13:55,471
...are the risks that you don't take.
1118
01:13:55,639 --> 01:13:59,642
Oh, but you wouldn't understand that.
Because you're too pig-headed.
1119
01:14:04,148 --> 01:14:05,815
[SOBBING]
1120
01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:48,149
Oh, damn.
1121
01:14:48,317 --> 01:14:49,525
JACOB:
Hi, John.
1122
01:14:52,738 --> 01:14:54,572
- John.
JOHN: Yeah?
1123
01:14:54,740 --> 01:14:56,741
- How are you doing?
- Hey, Jakey.
1124
01:14:56,909 --> 01:14:59,577
- Merry Christmas.
- Congratulations on the election.
1125
01:14:59,745 --> 01:15:02,371
Thanks. That's kind of
old news though, John. Where you been?
1126
01:15:02,539 --> 01:15:06,751
Ah, well, I had all of this stuff
that I had to get taken care of. I, uh...
1127
01:15:06,919 --> 01:15:09,921
Oh, hey, listen. Melanie said
that she's gonna come by tonight.
1128
01:15:10,088 --> 01:15:11,672
You, know, Christmas Eve. Around 9:00.
1129
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:14,425
- Is that right?
- Yeah. So why don't you drop over later?
1130
01:15:14,593 --> 01:15:16,969
- Yeah. Well, I'll do that.
- Okay.
1131
01:15:17,137 --> 01:15:19,680
[SNOWMOBILE REVVING]
1132
01:15:21,058 --> 01:15:23,434
[ARIEL & MAX LAUGHING]
1133
01:15:25,771 --> 01:15:28,523
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1134
01:15:31,485 --> 01:15:33,861
Come spring, this neighborhood
will be a lot safer...
1135
01:15:34,029 --> 01:15:36,280
...without that snowmobile around.
1136
01:15:36,448 --> 01:15:38,449
Hi, Jacob. Hello, putz.
1137
01:15:38,617 --> 01:15:40,368
Hey, Pop.
1138
01:15:40,536 --> 01:15:42,537
Merry Christmas, John.
1139
01:15:43,956 --> 01:15:45,164
Ariel.
1140
01:15:46,750 --> 01:15:50,127
Hey, Gustafson,
your cat crapped on my steps again.
1141
01:15:50,295 --> 01:15:52,588
Yeah? Who says you can't train a cat?
1142
01:15:52,756 --> 01:15:54,966
Ah, yeah? Well, that's a warning.
1143
01:15:55,133 --> 01:15:57,593
Don't let it happen again
or I'll punch you in the nose.
1144
01:15:57,761 --> 01:16:00,096
- Pop.
MAX: He started it.
1145
01:16:00,264 --> 01:16:02,139
JOHN:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1146
01:16:13,110 --> 01:16:14,860
[HORN HONKING]
1147
01:16:18,490 --> 01:16:21,826
Hey. Where's Santa's favorite little girl,
huh?
1148
01:16:21,994 --> 01:16:24,662
- Merry Christmas, Dad.
- Merry...
1149
01:16:24,830 --> 01:16:26,747
Come on, sweetheart. Hi, John.
1150
01:16:28,917 --> 01:16:30,668
What, no twinkle lights?
1151
01:16:30,836 --> 01:16:33,796
Huh? Yeah, well, I, uh...
1152
01:16:33,964 --> 01:16:35,798
I forgot about them this year.
1153
01:16:38,010 --> 01:16:39,510
- Be polite.
- Yeah.
1154
01:16:39,678 --> 01:16:41,512
- Hey, John.
- Mike.
1155
01:16:41,680 --> 01:16:43,681
- Merry, uh...
- Christmas.
1156
01:16:43,849 --> 01:16:45,683
JOHN:
Yeah, Christmas.
1157
01:16:46,518 --> 01:16:48,269
Can I put Allie in your bed?
1158
01:16:48,437 --> 01:16:50,521
JOHN: Yeah, sure.
MIKE: Good night, baby.
1159
01:16:50,689 --> 01:16:53,357
MELANIE: Bedtime. Say good night
to Grandpa.
1160
01:16:53,525 --> 01:16:54,942
ALEXANDRA:
Good night, Grandpa.
1161
01:16:57,112 --> 01:16:58,863
So how you been?
1162
01:16:59,031 --> 01:17:01,532
Lousy. Thought you two
were getting a divorce.
1163
01:17:01,700 --> 01:17:03,868
MELANIE: Dad!
MIKE: Ha.
1164
01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:06,495
Uh, actually, it's only a separation.
1165
01:17:07,372 --> 01:17:11,042
I had to get some things worked out
for myself before we could work on us.
1166
01:17:12,044 --> 01:17:14,211
Did you get it worked out?
1167
01:17:15,547 --> 01:17:17,798
Uh... Uh, yeah.
1168
01:17:17,966 --> 01:17:20,843
You know, as far as I can tell.
1169
01:17:23,263 --> 01:17:25,014
Damn, that's great, Mike.
1170
01:17:26,308 --> 01:17:28,768
Maybe the rest of us
should just put our lives on hold...
1171
01:17:28,935 --> 01:17:32,104
...for the next two, three weeks while you
oil yourself up with enough booze...
1172
01:17:32,272 --> 01:17:36,067
...and bullshit that you can make
your mind up. Shall we do that? Huh?
1173
01:17:39,112 --> 01:17:41,155
Uh, heh.
1174
01:17:41,323 --> 01:17:43,074
You know...
1175
01:17:43,241 --> 01:17:44,825
...maybe I'll grab a beer.
1176
01:17:44,993 --> 01:17:47,411
Yeah, you grab a beer. It's in the fridge.
1177
01:17:50,290 --> 01:17:52,500
What had gotten into you?
JOHN: I don't know.
1178
01:17:52,668 --> 01:17:54,585
Grab me one too.
1179
01:17:54,753 --> 01:17:57,046
Dad, try and understand.
1180
01:17:57,214 --> 01:17:59,882
He showed up last night.
Says he's gotten himself straightened out.
1181
01:18:00,050 --> 01:18:04,929
What do I know? I'm 68-year-old man.
I got no house, no wife, no pension.
1182
01:18:05,097 --> 01:18:07,264
What are you talking about?
1183
01:18:07,432 --> 01:18:09,642
Look, I don't know one damn thing,
but I know this:
1184
01:18:09,810 --> 01:18:14,605
The only things in this life that you
really regret are the risks you didn't take.
1185
01:18:14,773 --> 01:18:16,774
And, God, Mel, if you
see a chance to be happy...
1186
01:18:16,942 --> 01:18:20,903
...you grab it with both hands and
to hell with the consequences.
1187
01:18:22,239 --> 01:18:23,781
Okay?
1188
01:18:24,783 --> 01:18:26,283
Okay.
1189
01:18:28,286 --> 01:18:31,288
Uh, Dad?
I'll be damned if I can find a bottle opener.
1190
01:18:34,626 --> 01:18:37,962
Sweetheart, I'm gonna walk down
to Slippery's.
1191
01:18:40,465 --> 01:18:41,674
What?
1192
01:18:44,219 --> 01:18:46,137
MELANIE:
Dad...
1193
01:18:47,305 --> 01:18:49,724
Oh, hey, Jakey. Merry Christmas.
1194
01:18:49,891 --> 01:18:51,183
Merry Christmas.
1195
01:18:51,351 --> 01:18:52,893
[MELANIE SIGHS]
1196
01:18:53,061 --> 01:18:54,562
Uh, is this a bad time?
1197
01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:56,814
I'm sorry, Jacob.
1198
01:18:56,982 --> 01:19:00,109
I don't know what's wrong with him.
He just exploded.
1199
01:19:00,277 --> 01:19:02,069
Do you want me to go after him?
1200
01:19:02,237 --> 01:19:03,404
No, no. That's okay.
1201
01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:05,740
He'll cool off down at Slippery's.
Come on in.
1202
01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:09,994
What's that?
1203
01:19:10,162 --> 01:19:12,204
Oh, this is, uh, broccoli.
1204
01:19:12,372 --> 01:19:14,540
Pop didn't have mistletoe, so I...
1205
01:19:14,708 --> 01:19:16,667
[BOTH LAUGH]
1206
01:19:20,839 --> 01:19:23,340
Mike! Hey! You're next, big guy.
1207
01:19:23,508 --> 01:19:26,635
- Heh. Hi, Stinky.
- Ha.
1208
01:19:27,512 --> 01:19:30,806
I, uh... I just came by
to wish you all a Merry Christmas.
1209
01:19:30,974 --> 01:19:33,851
Oh, that was sweet, Jacob.
Wasn't that sweet, Mike?
1210
01:19:34,019 --> 01:19:36,687
Yeah. Sweet and short.
1211
01:19:38,940 --> 01:19:41,567
- Well, I...
- Ha, ha.
1212
01:19:41,735 --> 01:19:44,111
JACOB: Uh...
- Ha, ha.
1213
01:19:44,279 --> 01:19:46,071
Uh, good to see you, Mike.
1214
01:19:47,282 --> 01:19:49,283
Uh, Jacob?
JACOB: Yeah?
1215
01:19:50,452 --> 01:19:53,454
- Could I ask you a favor?
JACOB: Sure.
1216
01:19:53,663 --> 01:19:58,042
Could you have a word with your dad?
See if they can't make up for Christmas.
1217
01:20:01,129 --> 01:20:02,838
Uh, yeah, sure. Absolutely.
1218
01:20:03,006 --> 01:20:05,216
MELANIE:
That would be great.
1219
01:20:07,511 --> 01:20:09,970
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
1220
01:20:18,021 --> 01:20:21,190
- Over at the Gustafsons'?
- Yeah.
1221
01:20:23,735 --> 01:20:26,237
- Melanie there?
- Uh-huh.
1222
01:20:26,404 --> 01:20:27,988
[MAX CHUCKLES]
1223
01:20:28,156 --> 01:20:30,616
She, uh... She look good?
1224
01:20:31,284 --> 01:20:34,537
Very. She also looks to still be married.
1225
01:20:34,704 --> 01:20:36,705
What? Mike's back?
1226
01:20:36,873 --> 01:20:38,332
Looks that way.
1227
01:20:39,459 --> 01:20:43,254
You know, Melanie said that
John just exploded and walked out.
1228
01:20:44,464 --> 01:20:47,258
- So?
- So, what's going on?
1229
01:20:47,425 --> 01:20:50,511
Nothing that shouldn't
have happened years ago.
1230
01:20:52,973 --> 01:20:54,098
Pop...
1231
01:20:56,726 --> 01:21:00,271
He tried to steal her away from me,
but I won.
1232
01:21:01,273 --> 01:21:03,357
Could you at least, uh, talk to him?
1233
01:21:06,611 --> 01:21:09,947
My door is open.
He knows where to find me.
1234
01:21:11,867 --> 01:21:13,325
He started it.
1235
01:21:14,411 --> 01:21:17,538
I don't care who started it,
you're gonna end it.
1236
01:21:17,706 --> 01:21:19,915
I don't like him. I never liked him.
1237
01:21:20,083 --> 01:21:22,710
You know, it's Christmas, Pop,
all right?
1238
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:25,796
At least you could go down to Slippery's
and make peace with the man.
1239
01:21:27,173 --> 01:21:29,800
I'd rather kiss a dead moose's butt.
1240
01:21:32,137 --> 01:21:33,637
[MOOSE GROANS]
1241
01:21:33,805 --> 01:21:37,808
This 1,500-pound moose
is the real thing, folks.
1242
01:21:37,976 --> 01:21:42,146
Reared by local volunteer firefighter,
Peter Carlson, of Wabasha...
1243
01:21:42,314 --> 01:21:46,609
...who found it injured on a hunting trip,
brought it home, and brought it up...
1244
01:21:48,069 --> 01:21:49,612
MAX:
Merry Christmas.
1245
01:22:08,256 --> 01:22:09,506
Moron.
1246
01:22:09,841 --> 01:22:11,175
Putz.
1247
01:22:12,052 --> 01:22:13,385
Thank you, Lou.
1248
01:22:15,931 --> 01:22:19,975
Jacob says that Michael and Melanie
are, uh, gonna get back together again.
1249
01:22:20,143 --> 01:22:22,686
Well, Jacob doesn't know his ass
from a hole in the ground.
1250
01:22:22,854 --> 01:22:24,939
Melanie is getting a divorce.
1251
01:22:26,524 --> 01:22:29,526
Ah. Yeah, well, uh...
1252
01:22:29,694 --> 01:22:33,280
...I got a couple of things I want to tell you.
- Yeah?
1253
01:22:33,448 --> 01:22:36,367
The reason I came down here tonight is...
1254
01:22:36,534 --> 01:22:38,202
...I wanted to tell you...
1255
01:22:38,370 --> 01:22:40,120
Spit it out. I haven't got all night.
1256
01:22:40,288 --> 01:22:41,789
- Don't shout.
- I'm not shouting.
1257
01:22:41,957 --> 01:22:45,960
Bust my tuchus to get down here
on Christmas Eve to thank you...
1258
01:22:46,127 --> 01:22:48,253
...and all you can do is shout at me.
- Wait.
1259
01:22:48,421 --> 01:22:50,047
To thank me?
1260
01:22:50,548 --> 01:22:53,217
All right, I take it back. I don't thank you.
1261
01:22:53,385 --> 01:22:57,513
Oh, for... Jesus, it's impossible.
Impossible.
1262
01:23:03,937 --> 01:23:05,396
Look, Goldman...
1263
01:23:07,440 --> 01:23:09,358
I want to ask you something.
1264
01:23:09,567 --> 01:23:14,071
Well, what? I ain't got all night, either.
I'm just as busy as you are.
1265
01:23:14,239 --> 01:23:17,032
Listen, do you love her?
1266
01:23:17,200 --> 01:23:20,411
Do I love her? What the hell
does that have to do with anything?
1267
01:23:20,578 --> 01:23:22,705
It would make
the whole thing worthwhile.
1268
01:23:22,872 --> 01:23:24,665
You know something, Gustafson?
1269
01:23:24,833 --> 01:23:28,210
Sometimes I think you've lost
whatever frigging marbles you ever had.
1270
01:23:28,378 --> 01:23:31,380
What do you think you did,
walk on coals for me?
1271
01:23:31,548 --> 01:23:35,092
Gave me back my old fishing pole
and I told you, "thank you."
1272
01:23:35,260 --> 01:23:37,594
- Fishing pole?
- Yes.
1273
01:23:37,762 --> 01:23:39,930
- Pisses me off you had to break it first.
- Oh, my God.
1274
01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:41,974
- But schmuck that you are...
- Ha, ha. Aah!
1275
01:23:42,142 --> 01:23:45,060
...I suppose I gotta be realistic.
What the hell is so funny?
1276
01:23:45,228 --> 01:23:48,772
You are so butt-blind, you think this
whole thing is about a stupid fishing pole?
1277
01:23:48,940 --> 01:23:50,399
- What's it about then?
- Forget it.
1278
01:23:50,567 --> 01:23:52,776
What do you mean forget it?
Don't give me that crap.
1279
01:23:52,944 --> 01:23:55,404
- I wanna know.
- You really wanna know?
1280
01:23:55,572 --> 01:23:57,698
Yes, yes!
1281
01:24:03,288 --> 01:24:05,080
Ariel.
1282
01:24:05,248 --> 01:24:06,874
What about her?
1283
01:24:08,877 --> 01:24:11,211
You made me feel sorry for you.
1284
01:24:13,339 --> 01:24:16,925
She chose me. She did.
1285
01:24:17,093 --> 01:24:20,137
And if anybody says otherwise
they're damn liars.
1286
01:24:20,305 --> 01:24:23,265
JOHN: What's the difference?
You got her anyway.
1287
01:24:29,189 --> 01:24:32,066
- Heh.
- What the hell are you looking at?
1288
01:24:44,996 --> 01:24:46,455
Stupid moron.
1289
01:24:47,540 --> 01:24:50,334
Complete idiot. Ah.
1290
01:24:57,092 --> 01:24:59,510
[GROANING]
1291
01:25:02,013 --> 01:25:04,681
[MUTTERING]
1292
01:25:04,849 --> 01:25:07,351
[GASPING]
1293
01:25:07,519 --> 01:25:10,104
[GROANING]
1294
01:25:16,653 --> 01:25:19,196
It makes a difference, damn it.
1295
01:25:19,364 --> 01:25:21,198
[ALL CHATTERING]
1296
01:25:21,366 --> 01:25:24,076
[GASPING]
1297
01:25:43,888 --> 01:25:45,973
Dirty rat. Little turd.
1298
01:25:54,315 --> 01:25:55,983
Oh, my God.
1299
01:25:56,151 --> 01:25:57,734
Hey, John!
1300
01:25:58,444 --> 01:26:01,405
John.
1301
01:26:01,573 --> 01:26:02,906
Are you dead?
1302
01:26:04,909 --> 01:26:09,496
Not yet. But I don't wanna die
looking at your ugly face.
1303
01:26:09,664 --> 01:26:12,583
You stay there. You stay right there.
1304
01:26:13,585 --> 01:26:16,128
Wait a minute. I'll be right back.
1305
01:26:22,010 --> 01:26:25,345
Help, help! It's an emergency.
1306
01:26:25,513 --> 01:26:29,641
Emergency. We need an ambulance.
Somebody dial 911.
1307
01:26:32,395 --> 01:26:33,854
MAX:
Miss?
1308
01:26:34,022 --> 01:26:37,107
Miss, could you tell... Could you...?
1309
01:26:39,027 --> 01:26:41,403
Oh, nurse. Nurse?
1310
01:26:41,571 --> 01:26:43,322
Nurse?
1311
01:26:43,489 --> 01:26:46,116
Could you tell me
where Mr. John Gustafson is?
1312
01:26:46,284 --> 01:26:48,035
Are you friend or family?
1313
01:26:48,870 --> 01:26:50,704
John Gus... What?
1314
01:26:51,664 --> 01:26:53,540
Are you friend or family, sir?
1315
01:26:57,754 --> 01:26:58,879
Uh...
1316
01:27:03,635 --> 01:27:04,885
Friend.
1317
01:27:39,254 --> 01:27:41,463
Merry Christmas, John.
1318
01:27:46,219 --> 01:27:47,678
You putz.
1319
01:27:52,267 --> 01:27:54,184
[DOORBELL RINGS]
1320
01:28:03,861 --> 01:28:08,282
Well, you'd better have a good reason
for standing me up this morning.
1321
01:28:12,078 --> 01:28:14,037
What's wrong?
1322
01:28:15,039 --> 01:28:16,581
Can I come in?
1323
01:28:19,043 --> 01:28:20,168
Sure.
1324
01:28:32,473 --> 01:28:33,724
ARIEL:
Hi.
1325
01:28:34,934 --> 01:28:37,227
I know that you said
that you wanted to get rid of me...
1326
01:28:37,395 --> 01:28:39,479
...but isn't this a little drastic?
1327
01:28:42,817 --> 01:28:44,443
[SIGHS]
1328
01:28:47,697 --> 01:28:50,449
You know, my husband
passed away at Easter.
1329
01:28:50,616 --> 01:28:52,784
And if you leave me at Christmas...
1330
01:28:52,952 --> 01:28:55,746
...I won't have any kind of holidays
to look forward to.
1331
01:28:55,913 --> 01:28:58,915
Except for maybe Thanksgiving and...
1332
01:28:59,876 --> 01:29:03,170
You know, I really...
I'm not crazy about turkey.
1333
01:29:05,673 --> 01:29:07,341
So, what do you say?
1334
01:29:08,801 --> 01:29:09,968
Let's get out of here.
1335
01:29:10,136 --> 01:29:12,137
[SOFTLY]
All right.
1336
01:29:17,101 --> 01:29:18,602
[LAUGHS]
1337
01:29:22,273 --> 01:29:24,066
Okay, I can wait.
1338
01:29:31,741 --> 01:29:34,076
MAX: The guy could be dead tomorrow,
for chrissake.
1339
01:29:34,243 --> 01:29:36,745
I'm sorry your friend is sick,
Mr. Goldman...
1340
01:29:36,913 --> 01:29:40,290
...but the court order is in
and my hands are tied.
1341
01:29:40,458 --> 01:29:42,876
Check the bedroom.
I want all that paperwork filed.
1342
01:29:43,044 --> 01:29:47,381
Gustafson's straight as a grizzly's dick.
He'd never cheat on his taxes. Never.
1343
01:29:47,548 --> 01:29:49,716
It's not a matter of cheating.
1344
01:29:49,884 --> 01:29:52,135
It's a matter of, oh, miscalculation.
1345
01:29:52,303 --> 01:29:57,432
You friend received health benefits for
20 years while claiming as a married man.
1346
01:29:57,934 --> 01:30:00,936
Um, however, he omitted to inform us...
1347
01:30:01,104 --> 01:30:04,398
...that his ex-wife had a part-time job
for 11 of those 20 years.
1348
01:30:04,565 --> 01:30:06,983
Had he done so, we'd have informed him...
1349
01:30:07,151 --> 01:30:09,403
...that, because of her income...
1350
01:30:09,570 --> 01:30:13,949
...a larger portion of those benefits
were subject, of course, to federal tax.
1351
01:30:14,117 --> 01:30:16,284
Ooh, about $13,000.
1352
01:30:16,452 --> 01:30:19,371
Thirteen thousand? Well, he can raise that.
1353
01:30:19,539 --> 01:30:21,331
However, uh...
1354
01:30:21,499 --> 01:30:24,501
...that amount, when combined with...
1355
01:30:24,836 --> 01:30:29,965
...11 years worth of interest,
mandatory late charges, and penalties...
1356
01:30:30,508 --> 01:30:35,679
...uh, comes out at about
$57,000, ballpark.
1357
01:30:37,890 --> 01:30:39,850
He'd never find that.
1358
01:30:42,019 --> 01:30:44,729
He will when we sell his house.
1359
01:30:56,576 --> 01:31:00,745
Dirty rat. I'll show him.
Picking on people.
1360
01:31:03,958 --> 01:31:06,835
SNYDER:
Let's go, let's go. Hubba-hubba.
1361
01:31:07,003 --> 01:31:08,753
- Where's the Realtor?
MAN: Get the door?
1362
01:31:08,921 --> 01:31:13,341
SNYDER: Listen, men, all the furniture
goes to the auction house.
1363
01:31:13,509 --> 01:31:16,761
Any paperwork
put in the back of my car, okay?
1364
01:31:16,929 --> 01:31:18,513
MAN:
Yes, sir.
1365
01:31:18,681 --> 01:31:21,516
- Beautiful day, Mr. Goldman!
- Hey, Snyder.
1366
01:31:21,684 --> 01:31:26,062
Do the world a favor and pull your lip
over your head and swallow.
1367
01:31:26,230 --> 01:31:27,564
[CHUCKLES]
1368
01:31:27,732 --> 01:31:29,733
[LAUGHS]
1369
01:31:30,735 --> 01:31:32,027
SNYDER:
Asshole.
1370
01:31:34,030 --> 01:31:35,572
Bloodsuckers.
1371
01:31:36,574 --> 01:31:39,743
- Max, what's going on?
- Morning, Ariel.
1372
01:31:40,495 --> 01:31:41,745
Anyone looking?
1373
01:31:42,622 --> 01:31:43,747
No, why?
1374
01:31:48,878 --> 01:31:52,547
SYNDER: I don't care.
- We got a problem here, sir.
1375
01:31:52,965 --> 01:31:55,884
- What is it?
- Somebody's barricaded the doors.
1376
01:31:56,469 --> 01:31:57,969
Wait a minute.
1377
01:31:58,137 --> 01:31:59,888
What?!
1378
01:32:00,056 --> 01:32:03,725
- Well, break it in.
- Watch this. You'll get a kick out of this.
1379
01:32:03,893 --> 01:32:06,061
SNYDER:
We'll see about this.
1380
01:32:08,356 --> 01:32:10,065
Yo, Ray.
1381
01:32:12,151 --> 01:32:15,195
This isn't gonna stop me, Mr. Goldman.
1382
01:32:16,364 --> 01:32:18,114
I got him right where I want him.
1383
01:32:19,951 --> 01:32:21,910
[ICE CRACKING]
1384
01:32:23,329 --> 01:32:25,205
[CAR HORN HONKING]
1385
01:32:27,917 --> 01:32:30,210
No. Jacob.
1386
01:32:30,378 --> 01:32:32,212
Got it, Pop. Just like you said.
1387
01:32:32,380 --> 01:32:35,298
- You don't understand.
- No, no, it's good. I can handle it.
1388
01:32:36,676 --> 01:32:39,052
I'm Jacob Goldman, Mayor of Wabasha.
1389
01:32:39,220 --> 01:32:42,389
Jacob! No! Ha, ha.
1390
01:32:42,557 --> 01:32:46,393
I've got a 30-day cease and desist
order says you can't touch this house.
1391
01:32:54,986 --> 01:32:56,653
[WHISPERS]
Jacob.
1392
01:32:57,530 --> 01:32:59,030
Very well.
1393
01:33:03,286 --> 01:33:04,995
JACOB:
Whoa.
1394
01:33:06,414 --> 01:33:07,581
[ROOF CREAKING]
1395
01:33:08,833 --> 01:33:10,834
[SCREAMS]
1396
01:33:12,086 --> 01:33:13,503
[MAX LAUGHING]
1397
01:33:13,671 --> 01:33:15,338
[SNYDER GRUNTING]
1398
01:33:18,801 --> 01:33:20,885
But, you...
1399
01:33:23,681 --> 01:33:26,683
[BELLS TOLLING]
1400
01:33:26,851 --> 01:33:29,102
[ORGAN PLAYING SOFT MUSIC]
1401
01:33:45,161 --> 01:33:47,412
- Jacob?
- Hey, Mel.
1402
01:33:47,580 --> 01:33:49,539
- Hey.
- Hey.
1403
01:33:49,707 --> 01:33:52,542
- Wow, you look great.
- Thanks, so do you.
1404
01:33:52,710 --> 01:33:54,461
No, no, I mean it.
1405
01:33:54,629 --> 01:33:57,881
People always try to be nice
by saying you look great but, uh...
1406
01:33:58,049 --> 01:33:59,674
...you really do look great.
1407
01:33:59,842 --> 01:34:02,719
- I feel good.
- Yeah. So how are you?
1408
01:34:02,887 --> 01:34:04,471
I'm good, Jacob.
1409
01:34:04,639 --> 01:34:05,930
[BOTH LAUGH]
1410
01:34:06,098 --> 01:34:10,226
Yeah. Listen,
I'm, uh, sorry about the, uh...
1411
01:34:10,394 --> 01:34:12,103
- Divorce. Yeah, thanks.
- Right.
1412
01:34:12,271 --> 01:34:15,190
I mean, I'm just glad
it's over and done with.
1413
01:34:15,358 --> 01:34:17,359
Yeah. Yeah, you must be.
1414
01:34:19,612 --> 01:34:21,237
[MELANIE SIGHS]
1415
01:34:21,405 --> 01:34:24,491
- Ready for this?
- No, not really.
1416
01:34:24,659 --> 01:34:27,077
[WOMAN SOBBING]
1417
01:34:27,244 --> 01:34:30,872
Listen, Mel, if you need someone
to talk to tonight...
1418
01:34:31,040 --> 01:34:33,083
...l'm staying at Pop's.
1419
01:34:33,959 --> 01:34:36,961
Thanks, Jacob. I'd like that.
1420
01:34:37,505 --> 01:34:39,214
GRANDPA:
Hey, you two!
1421
01:34:39,382 --> 01:34:41,257
Get your asses in here!
1422
01:34:43,719 --> 01:34:45,679
- I guess it's time.
- Yeah.
1423
01:34:47,848 --> 01:34:50,183
[SOBBING]
1424
01:34:50,351 --> 01:34:52,894
[GUESTS CHATTERING]
1425
01:34:53,062 --> 01:34:56,022
- Where have you been?
- Relax, Pop. You nervous?
1426
01:34:56,190 --> 01:34:57,899
Not nervous. The groom is nervous.
1427
01:34:58,067 --> 01:35:01,111
- I'm not nervous, schmuck.
- Don't call me a schmuck, you putz.
1428
01:35:01,278 --> 01:35:02,612
Fellas, you're in a church.
1429
01:35:07,785 --> 01:35:10,537
[GUESTS CHATTERING]
1430
01:35:34,770 --> 01:35:36,813
[SIGHS]
1431
01:35:36,981 --> 01:35:39,107
[GUESTS CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
1432
01:35:44,071 --> 01:35:47,657
Wait, wait!
Ain't you forgetting something?
1433
01:35:47,825 --> 01:35:50,702
Oh! Grandpa!
1434
01:35:51,787 --> 01:35:53,329
Okay, that'll do it.
1435
01:35:53,497 --> 01:35:56,875
Yeah. That'll do it, Dad!
I think that'll do it.
1436
01:35:57,042 --> 01:35:59,961
- Okay, here we go.
- Oh, wow!
1437
01:36:01,005 --> 01:36:03,798
- Oh, Max, you're the greatest.
MAX: Thank you.
1438
01:36:05,885 --> 01:36:06,926
Thank you.
1439
01:36:08,095 --> 01:36:09,929
- I love you.
JOHN: Goodbye, pumpkin.
1440
01:36:10,097 --> 01:36:11,681
- Bye, Jacob.
- Have fun.
1441
01:36:11,849 --> 01:36:14,267
Hey, Gustafson. Here's a house.
1442
01:36:14,435 --> 01:36:16,519
Jacob got them to waive
the penalties and interest...
1443
01:36:16,687 --> 01:36:18,646
...and I took care of the 13 grand.
1444
01:36:19,315 --> 01:36:22,442
Wipe the smile off your face,
because it's just a loan.
1445
01:36:25,780 --> 01:36:29,157
And I'll lay 8-to-5 you can't get it up
the entire honeymoon.
1446
01:36:29,325 --> 01:36:31,367
Oh! You're on.
1447
01:36:31,535 --> 01:36:33,787
I got a sure winner.
1448
01:36:33,954 --> 01:36:36,456
[ALL CHATTERING]
1449
01:36:51,722 --> 01:36:53,056
JOHN:
You smell something?
1450
01:36:53,224 --> 01:36:54,516
[JOHN SNIFFS]
1451
01:36:54,683 --> 01:36:56,351
What is that?
1452
01:36:56,519 --> 01:36:59,687
- That dirty son of a...
- Ugh.
1453
01:37:01,816 --> 01:37:03,358
[JOHN MUTTERING]
1454
01:37:06,237 --> 01:37:07,946
[TIRES SCREECH]
1455
01:37:10,366 --> 01:37:12,992
[LAUGHING]
1456
01:37:13,160 --> 01:37:14,828
What a putz.
1457
01:37:17,915 --> 01:37:19,666
[LAUGHING]
1458
01:37:21,418 --> 01:37:24,337
What do you feel like tonight, Pop,
Leno or Letterman?
1459
01:37:24,505 --> 01:37:26,714
Tell me about it in the morning, Jacob.
1460
01:37:26,882 --> 01:37:28,341
Oh. Where are you going?
1461
01:37:28,509 --> 01:37:33,888
The Daughters of the American Revolution
are having a little dance at the VFW.
1462
01:37:34,056 --> 01:37:37,600
Maybe I'll get lucky. Don't wait up for me.
1463
01:37:37,768 --> 01:37:39,602
[MAX HUMMING]
1464
01:37:41,605 --> 01:37:43,273
[DOOR CLOSES]
1465
01:38:40,331 --> 01:38:42,540
MELANIE: Hi, Jacob.
JACOB: Hey, Mel.
1466
01:38:43,667 --> 01:38:46,294
- What you got there?
MELANIE: Broccoli.
1467
01:38:46,462 --> 01:38:49,047
JACOB: Holy moly.
MELANIE: Ha, ha.
1468
01:38:54,553 --> 01:38:55,720
MAN:
Marker.
1469
01:38:55,888 --> 01:38:57,889
He's in. He's in.
1470
01:38:59,016 --> 01:39:02,226
Looks like he's gonna enter
the holy of holies.
1471
01:39:02,394 --> 01:39:04,646
- Huh?
- Coitus uninterruptus.
1472
01:39:07,691 --> 01:39:09,442
LEMMON: I throw back
what I'm not gonna eat.
1473
01:39:09,610 --> 01:39:13,529
Oh, yeah, like that 40-pound muskie
you're always yakking about.
1474
01:39:13,697 --> 01:39:16,115
It's a shame that... That, um...
1475
01:39:16,283 --> 01:39:20,870
Your uncle has a fish market
on 23rd Street and 14th Avenue.
1476
01:39:21,038 --> 01:39:23,998
- And, uh...
LEMMON: 26th. 26th Street, you dummy.
1477
01:39:24,249 --> 01:39:26,334
- Ah, you schmuck.
MAN: Marker.
1478
01:39:26,502 --> 01:39:31,464
Yeah. It looks like Chuck's
slipping her the old salami.
1479
01:39:31,632 --> 01:39:34,634
- Oh, Jesus, Dad!
- Ha, ha!
1480
01:39:36,971 --> 01:39:38,429
- Oh, hello.
- Hello.
1481
01:39:38,597 --> 01:39:42,934
I'm Ronald Reagan. I used to be
President of the United States.
1482
01:39:43,102 --> 01:39:45,645
- I live across the street over there.
- Yes. Yes, come in.
1483
01:39:45,813 --> 01:39:49,649
MATTHAU: I was also in the movies
for a while. I was a lousy actor.
1484
01:39:51,652 --> 01:39:56,030
Looks like Chuck's gonna
put the hot dog in the bun.
1485
01:39:56,198 --> 01:39:59,367
- Oh, Jesus, Dad.
- Oh.
1486
01:39:59,535 --> 01:40:02,412
- That's why I came down.
- Yeah, well, spit it out.
1487
01:40:02,579 --> 01:40:04,664
- Don't shout.
- I'm not shouting.
1488
01:40:04,832 --> 01:40:07,875
Bust my tuchus to get here
on New Year's Eve...
1489
01:40:08,043 --> 01:40:11,004
...or Christmas,
or whatever the **** it is.
1490
01:40:11,171 --> 01:40:12,880
CREW: Ha-ha-ha!
- And, uh...
1491
01:40:14,008 --> 01:40:17,760
Looks like Chuck's a tomcat on the prowl.
1492
01:40:17,928 --> 01:40:19,595
[MEOWS]
1493
01:40:19,763 --> 01:40:22,849
I got a pinched sciatica that would make
your lumbago look like eye strain.
1494
01:40:23,017 --> 01:40:26,394
Pain. He... Is it...? Does he?
1495
01:40:26,562 --> 01:40:28,688
Would he? Is he...
1496
01:40:28,856 --> 01:40:30,273
- Yes, he is.
- Is he...?
1497
01:40:31,734 --> 01:40:35,194
Looks like Chuck is taking
the old log to the beaver.
1498
01:40:36,030 --> 01:40:39,198
Looks like Chuck's gonna bury his boner.
1499
01:40:39,366 --> 01:40:41,576
Yeah, that's right, you're a moron.
1500
01:40:41,744 --> 01:40:43,453
If you hadn't had Amy...
1501
01:40:43,620 --> 01:40:46,247
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
1502
01:40:46,415 --> 01:40:48,291
[BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
1503
01:40:53,714 --> 01:40:58,551
It looks like Chuck is taking
the skinboat to tuna town.
1504
01:40:59,470 --> 01:41:04,307
Looks like Chuck is taking a ride
on the wild bologna pony.
1505
01:41:06,852 --> 01:41:08,728
[TIRES SCREECH]
1506
01:41:16,028 --> 01:41:17,445
Who left?
1507
01:41:18,572 --> 01:41:21,074
[ALL LAUGHING]
1508
01:43:15,105 --> 01:43:17,857
If I knew there was a nude scene
in this picture...
1509
01:43:18,025 --> 01:43:19,859
...I would've asked
for another million.
1510
01:43:20,027 --> 01:43:21,277
MAN:
Slate it.
1511
01:43:22,154 --> 01:43:24,155
[ENGLISH SDH]
103112
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