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{\an8}Oh!
2
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{\an8}Hi, kids. I'm an unlicensed hologram
of LeVar Burton.
3
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:53,220
{\an8}I didn't see you beam in
because I had my sleep mask on.
4
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,891
{\an8}Today, we're going to learn
about the wonders of books,
5
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,602
{\an8}and all the fun adventures you can have
6
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:03,188
{\an8}watching TV shows based on them.
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00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,691
{\an8}So, throw another book on the fire
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00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:10,779
and settle in
for the Mystery of the Missing Mass.
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00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,754
{\an8}I lost my thimble!
10
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:31,717
{\an8}This sounds like a job for Lancy Trew,
girl detective!
11
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,010
{\an8}I'll look for clues.
12
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,846
{\an8}Don't look for clues!
Look for the damn thimble!
13
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:38,849
{\an8}No clue can hide
from my trusty flashlight!
14
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,686
{\an8}It's daytime, you big stupid.
15
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:51,528
Lancy, leave Granny alone.
You know she's got severe dementia!
16
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:52,988
Now my chair's gone!
17
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:55,282
You never had a chair.
18
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:58,202
What's up, Dad?
Trouble with one of your legal cases?
19
00:01:58,202 --> 00:01:59,578
I'm afraid so.
20
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:04,041
The bank is going to foreclose on
poor Farmer Pete's luxury office tower
21
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:07,711
if he can't produce
the property deed by 5:00 p.m.
22
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,088
And you lost the deed
because you were drunk?
23
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,381
I didn't lose it.
24
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,760
I carefully hid it
along with my emergency vodka
25
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,095
in the old grandfather clock.
26
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:21,391
The clock's gone!
Someone stole it!
27
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:25,187
This sounds like a job for Lancy Trew,
girl detective.
28
00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:27,856
I'm countin' on ya, Lancy.
29
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:31,151
You've got to find that clock
by 5:00 p.m.
30
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,361
What time is it now?
31
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:34,696
I don't know! The clock was stolen!
32
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,494
It's my most difficult case ever.
33
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,664
How can I look for clues
before 5:00 p.m.?
34
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,124
What's up, Lancy? Wanna play catch?
35
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,209
Hi, Andi.
36
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:50,003
Guys, have you met
my tomboyish friend Andi?
37
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,714
Why can't ya just call me
your friend Andi?
38
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:54,800
Andi's on the boys' baseball team.
39
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,261
It's just called "the baseball team."
40
00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:58,637
Because you're on it.
41
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:01,181
Before that, it was called
"the boys' baseball team."
42
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:04,268
So she's the boy who took my spot.
43
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:14,152
Jeepers.
44
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:17,072
Whoa, you've got
a great curveball, Andi.
45
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,449
I mean for a girl... I mean tomboy.
46
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,994
Why don't you just say
I've got a great curveball?
47
00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:24,246
Why do you have to qualify it like that?
48
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,290
I don't know. 'Cause I'm insecure?
49
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,375
{\an8}Yo, where'd the ball go?
50
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,587
It's gone! Someone stole it!
51
00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:34,298
This sounds like a job for Lancy Trew.
52
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,217
And her tomboyish sidekick.
53
00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:42,181
We better split up.
I'll go search the old abandoned cave.
54
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:47,186
I'll just... I'll handle
this immediate area right around here.
55
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:03,577
Nothing but clues
from my last three cases,
56
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,495
and no sign of the clock.
57
00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:13,837
Man, Lancy's been gone a long...
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00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:14,922
...time.
59
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,717
This sounds like a job for...
60
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:21,720
The Smardy Boys!
61
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:32,356
We'll start by searching everywhere,
in every imaginable place.
62
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:36,026
Right. But we'll need an automo-car.
63
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:39,404
Howdy, friends.
Need a lift in my jalopy?
64
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:42,157
Hey, it's our portly pal, Chud.
65
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,743
Why can't you just call me
your pal Chud?
66
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:47,663
You somehow feel obligated
to comment on my weight?
67
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:50,040
I call him Chubbo.
68
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,252
Chud, this is
Lancy's tomboyish friend, Andi.
69
00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:54,419
Why?
70
00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:00,425
- Mind if I change the station?
- Yes.
71
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,844
I wasn't talkin' to you.
72
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:03,679
This just in.
73
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:06,640
A wave of robberies
has struck Outskirt Village.
74
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,643
Police are advising
local teenagers to solve the crime
75
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,144
as quickly as possible.
76
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,146
Step on it, Chubbo!
77
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,149
I mean, if your jalopy
can even go uphill with you in it.
78
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:22,573
Ugh! That's it. I can't go on living.
I'm driving off the cliff!
79
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:34,459
And here we are at Lancy's house.
80
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:37,004
I must have made a wrong turn
at the cliff.
81
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:40,257
This whole crime wave
started with that missing clock.
82
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:43,093
That's the key to solving
this mystery book.
83
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,304
It is? Why would you think that?
84
00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:47,556
It's called a "hunch," Chud.
85
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,683
You sidekicks wouldn't understand.
86
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,186
The clock was over here,
87
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,521
between these Ming vases.
88
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,398
The vases are gone!
89
00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:01,570
- And my gun is missing.
- My baseball mitt's gone, too.
90
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,614
Chud, did you eat Andi's mitt?
91
00:06:03,614 --> 00:06:05,449
Yes, but not the other stuff.
92
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:08,911
Shploikees, the whole house is gone!
93
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,624
The entire town of Outskirt Village
has been stolen.
94
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,960
Wait, I found the clock.
95
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:20,339
Then the criminal
has only one place left to hide:
96
00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:22,674
inside that clock.
97
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:25,677
Let's see who the real culprit is.
98
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:33,977
What the hell is that?
99
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,104
Allow me to explain.
100
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,858
It's Tom Snift, the boy inventor.
101
00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:42,611
Why can't you just call me the inventor?
102
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:50,118
This object is known
as a gravitational black hole.
103
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:53,163
Anything that falls in can never escape,
104
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,207
not even light itself.
105
00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:59,044
Help!
106
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,088
I hear Lancy!
107
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,966
A little sound can get out,
but that's it.
108
00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:07,219
Hurry, we can still save
my emergency vodka!
109
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:08,512
And my daughter.
110
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:13,141
As the heroes, Biff and I will jump in
and rescue those things.
111
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,685
You don't understand,
112
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:17,396
the gravitational forces
will shred you like...
113
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,402
There goes young Tom Snift.
114
00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:25,279
Off on another adventure.
115
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:28,448
Chud, Andi,
you pull us out with the jalopy,
116
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,950
so we can get all the credit.
117
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,702
You got it, Smardy Boys.
118
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:35,163
You can count on your bitter,
degraded sidekicks.
119
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,045
Enjoy the hole!
120
00:07:56,143 --> 00:08:00,898
Well, kids, I hope you enjoyed
watching that book as much as I did.
121
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:05,611
Here's another one I've been looking
forward to because it's so short.
122
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,716
Bonjour, mes amis.
123
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:30,177
I convey the morning deliveries.
124
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,554
Bonjour, young FryFry.
125
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,848
I hope today is the day.
126
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:38,769
Ah, something for Captain de L'eela.
127
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:42,523
It's my medicine for my ailment.
128
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,942
Ah, oui, alcoholism.
129
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:52,032
Is there nothing for me?
I've been waiting so many years.
130
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,368
Alas, perhaps tomorrow.
131
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:55,661
No wait!
132
00:08:55,661 --> 00:09:00,082
I overlooked this letter
for Professor Algebra,
133
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:01,458
from Argentina.
134
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,836
L'Argentine?
135
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,840
Oh, and it's perfumed.
136
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,844
Who is sended it?
137
00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:15,764
The most beautiful songbird
I ever laid eyes on.
138
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:20,644
Love was in the air,
but so was war and bridges.
139
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,481
She fled to South America,
140
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:27,317
the victim of unspeakable war crimes.
141
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:31,196
Or perhaps perpetrator,
I could never get a straight answer.
142
00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:38,036
She became the most famous
opera singer in Argentina.
143
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:41,123
"The Warbler of Buenos Aires,"
they called her.
144
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:46,170
We carried on
a transatlantic romance for decades,
145
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:47,713
or at least I did.
146
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:51,967
And finally,
I asked for her hand in matrimony.
147
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:54,094
What she saided?
148
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:58,765
Good news, tout le monde!
149
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:04,771
Captain de L'eela, prepare the aeroship!
150
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,112
Whoa!
151
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,532
We'll refuel in Zurich,
152
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,034
Zaragoza, and Zanzibar.
153
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,786
Then take on provisions in Zaire.
154
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:25,459
Monsieur, must you deface
my finest globe?
155
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,589
One baobab fruit, please.
156
00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:33,133
Do you accept Belgian waffles?
157
00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:46,188
Huh?
158
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:49,608
Qu'est-ce que c'est, Zoidy?
159
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:54,279
That is the golden crank of Khartoum.
160
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,698
Yes, most powerful it is.
161
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:59,993
They say it can crank anything.
162
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:01,828
I'll take it!
163
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,957
Is all my money enough,
or do you want this thing too?
164
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:17,094
{\an8}There's nowhere to land
during the long ocean crossing.
165
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:20,764
I just pray my magic marker holds out.
166
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,016
Also, how's our fuel supply?
167
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,644
Delicious.
168
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:46,999
Great work, Captain de L'eela,
you stuck the landing.
169
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:55,007
Presenting the Gray Warbler
of Buenos Aires.
170
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:02,097
My love,
you're even more gray and warbly
171
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,515
than I remember.
172
00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:05,267
Who the hell are you?
173
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:08,520
Your fiancé, Professor Algebra.
174
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:09,605
Algebra?
175
00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:13,525
Oh, for the sake of Pete,
I addressed it to the wrong professor.
176
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:15,903
I'm engaged to Dr. Geology now.
177
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,405
Tough break, old man.
178
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,407
Geology!
179
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,992
Sorry for the confusion.
180
00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:25,120
You may stay for my concert
and a light meat supper.
181
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,039
Then, scramolio!
182
00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,917
I love it when you speak European.
183
00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:37,382
He will feel the wrath of Algebra.
184
00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:56,109
Strange.
Both professors missed the opera.
185
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,156
Zoidy, no! You stupid lemming!
186
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:06,370
You found a bone? But where?
187
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,667
Professor Geology! Are you okay?
188
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:19,007
Where in butt's ass is my fiancé?
189
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:22,594
I'm afraid he is dead.
190
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:26,723
I find that rather hard to believe.
191
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,769
I can prove it, smarty pants.
192
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:38,861
My heavens!
193
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:42,656
It's a priceless fossil
dating to geologic antiquity.
194
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:45,993
You're a priceless fossil
dating to geologic antiquity!
195
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,705
My hat must have
blown onto it by chance,
196
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:52,124
making me its official discoverer.
197
00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:56,587
He doesn't love you like me.
198
00:13:56,587 --> 00:13:59,214
He's just here
because some valuable specimen
199
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,091
happens to be on your property.
200
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:04,386
And he's already sold off half of it.
201
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:08,849
You fiancée-stealing bone thief!
202
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,559
I'm calling the authorities!
203
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,567
Hola, carnitasbags.
204
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:20,569
We are the Gemelos twins,
205
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:23,822
chief detectives
of the Argentinian National Police!
206
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:25,449
I'm seeing double!
207
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,036
This man is a thief, Officers.
208
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:32,456
That's enough evidence
for the Argentinian National Police.
209
00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:33,665
Lock him up, boys.
210
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:34,958
Now, hold on!
211
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:38,837
I may have stolen the warbler's heart,
but not the missing bones.
212
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:41,089
Either way, you'll die in prison.
213
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,550
Wait, I have an idea.
214
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,848
Mon Dieu, la golden crank of Khartoum.
215
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,183
Mais oui.
216
00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:54,353
I shall rewind
the Earth backwards in time.
217
00:14:54,353 --> 00:14:57,773
Then we shall see who came here
to steal the bones.
218
00:15:00,651 --> 00:15:02,444
That'll never work.
219
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:04,196
It's working!
220
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:07,741
One hour ago, two hours ago,
221
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,952
12, 36...
222
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:11,411
How strange.
223
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:15,874
No one's been here
for days, weeks, millennia.
224
00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:19,127
Ten million years,
one hundred million...
225
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:27,261
What the fromage is that?
226
00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:29,012
Africa, of course.
227
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,389
What?
228
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:33,809
Must I explain everything?
Give me that globe!
229
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,813
You see,
hundreds of millions of years ago,
230
00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:42,317
there was only a single land mass
known as Pangaea.
231
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,820
But when the continents drifted apart,
232
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:47,948
Africa separated from South America.
233
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:51,785
I shall call it
the Theory of Plate Tectonics!
234
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:54,371
Wind the continents
a smidge closer, FryFry.
235
00:16:03,255 --> 00:16:05,924
Behold, the missing half skeleton!
236
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:08,010
My word, you're right.
237
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,971
The fossil and the fiancée are yours.
238
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:13,056
You may rewind now, FryFry.
239
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,895
Ahhh! Other way! Other way!
240
00:16:17,895 --> 00:16:19,313
D'oops, hang on!
241
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,951
Well, that solves the mystery
of the missing bones!
242
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:37,539
What do you say, my petite warbler?
Shall we give it another go?
243
00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:39,082
Which one are you again?
244
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:41,335
I don't remember.
245
00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:42,920
Whatever. Who cares?
246
00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:46,632
Let's go home.
247
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:05,859
And they all lived happily ever after,
248
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,402
except that guy who died.
249
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:10,948
All right, kids,
I saved the best for last.
250
00:17:10,948 --> 00:17:13,033
Wait, I read them out of order.
251
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,117
Anyway...
252
00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:23,377
I do believe someone stole my bike.
253
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:25,671
Here's your bike back.
254
00:17:28,674 --> 00:17:31,260
That solves the mystery
of the missing bike.
255
00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:34,429
I've got another mystery
that needs solving.
256
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:38,100
Which one of you is Wikipedia Brown,
the boy detective?
257
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,394
That's me, lady. Gimme 25 cents!
258
00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:43,313
And I'm his bodyguard, Lolly.
I like to punch people.
259
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:50,362
I had just cooked up
a fresh batch of salt water taffy,
260
00:17:50,362 --> 00:17:53,490
so I put it on the whatchacallit sill
to cool.
261
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:56,034
Next thing I knew, half of it was gone!
262
00:17:56,869 --> 00:17:59,788
Hmm. This is a serious crime.
263
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,832
It is?
264
00:18:01,832 --> 00:18:04,418
I've got a pretty good idea who did it.
265
00:18:04,418 --> 00:18:07,171
{\an8}Claws Pinchy
and his gang of mischief-makers
266
00:18:07,171 --> 00:18:11,675
{\an8}have been hangin' around my window sill
lookin' whatchacallit, hungry.
267
00:18:11,675 --> 00:18:14,011
And now they're at your house. Look!
268
00:18:14,011 --> 00:18:15,846
Don't tell me how to do my job.
269
00:18:17,014 --> 00:18:18,182
- Hey.
- Yo.
270
00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:19,266
- Ya, 'mon.
- Yup.
271
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:23,395
I have solved the mystery
of the missing taffy,
272
00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:26,398
and it's not who you think!
273
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:32,654
At first, I suspected Claws Pinchy
274
00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:36,158
'cause of his leather jacket
and poor academic performance.
275
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:38,577
But then, I found this clue!
276
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:42,456
And that's when my prejudices
were confirmed.
277
00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:44,124
That could be anyone's claw.
278
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:46,335
- Show me your claw.
- You mean this claw?
279
00:18:46,335 --> 00:18:47,586
No, the other claw.
280
00:18:47,586 --> 00:18:48,712
Drat!
281
00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:51,465
But, boss, ain't you got an alibi?
282
00:18:51,465 --> 00:18:55,052
Uh, yeah,
I was building a snowman
283
00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:57,304
on the surface of the Sun
284
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:58,931
with my girlfriend.
285
00:18:58,931 --> 00:19:02,226
The girlfriend part doesn't ring true!
Arrest him, Lolly!
286
00:19:02,226 --> 00:19:06,647
I can't arrest him. I'm just a kid.
The best I can do is punch him.
287
00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:08,190
Now hold on, little lady.
288
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,775
Let me arrest him.
289
00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:13,904
I'm Wikipedia's father,
and also the Chief of Police.
290
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:18,116
Can I still punch him?
291
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:20,369
If you don't, I will.
292
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,458
What's for dinner, Mom?
293
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:28,836
Boiled TV dinner.
294
00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:30,796
Yum.
295
00:19:30,796 --> 00:19:32,589
How was work today, Copper?
296
00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,091
I mean, dear?
297
00:19:34,091 --> 00:19:35,509
Smooth, baby.
298
00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:38,095
I sent three perps
to the electric chair.
299
00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:41,390
Two murderers
and one unlicensed hotdog vendor.
300
00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:42,558
Neat!
301
00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:44,726
But there was one crime
I just couldn't solve.
302
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:45,853
Why not?
303
00:19:45,853 --> 00:19:48,313
'Cause I just didn't give a damn.
304
00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:50,524
Maybe I could solve it and save the day.
305
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:52,776
Tell me about the clues.
306
00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,194
Here's what we know.
307
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:58,282
We've had a series of complaints
from unsuspecting townspeople.
308
00:19:58,282 --> 00:20:00,826
I'll be complaining about this.
309
00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:05,914
They open their doors, only to observe
the most shocking sight imaginable.
310
00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:10,544
A flaming bag of dog doo.
311
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:16,967
It's like these bags
are appearin' out of nowhere, ya dig?
312
00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:19,845
I'm gonna figure out
where the flaming poo came from.
313
00:20:19,845 --> 00:20:23,056
Anything can be solved
if ya find the clues.
314
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,267
I'll get it!
315
00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:30,606
Found one!
316
00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:35,360
Where were you Friday at 2:00 p.m.?
317
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:38,780
In your garage talkin' to you,
you idiot.
318
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:39,865
That checks out.
319
00:20:39,865 --> 00:20:44,494
Alls I know is, I was loiterin'
in an alley with the other local toughs,
320
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:46,455
smokin' a lollipop.
321
00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:50,792
I'm a kid with a magnifying glass.
322
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:53,587
- Got any clues I can magnify?
- Indeed.
323
00:20:53,587 --> 00:20:57,090
I saved the slipper
I used to stomp the doo.
324
00:20:57,758 --> 00:20:59,676
Ugh! What else you got?
325
00:21:02,846 --> 00:21:04,181
Case closed, folks!
326
00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:06,016
I pretended to look for clues,
327
00:21:06,016 --> 00:21:09,269
but we all know it was Claws Pinchy!
328
00:21:10,938 --> 00:21:14,024
I'm afraid he's got
the ultimate alibi, son.
329
00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:17,110
He went to the chair
for that taffy caper.
330
00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:21,323
That's the way to go, sittin' down.
331
00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:23,033
What a strange case.
332
00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:25,369
I've never found so many clues before.
333
00:21:32,209 --> 00:21:35,337
Ah, yeah. That's some
mass-murderer level stuff.
334
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,881
So, did you solve the mystery?
335
00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:40,384
I... No!
336
00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:43,679
It all adds up to nothing!
337
00:21:43,679 --> 00:21:45,597
I thought I could solve anything,
338
00:21:45,597 --> 00:21:50,102
but we will never, ever know
where the flaming doo-doo came from!
339
00:21:50,769 --> 00:21:52,271
I know where it came from.
340
00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:54,940
Neil deGrasse Tyson?
341
00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:56,775
May I borrow your magnifying glass?
342
00:21:56,775 --> 00:21:57,860
Hell no!
343
00:21:57,860 --> 00:22:01,113
I don't know you! I'm not
lendin' you my magnifying glass!
344
00:22:01,113 --> 00:22:03,740
That's okay.
I brought an electron microscope.
345
00:22:06,952 --> 00:22:11,081
Take a closer look at this soiled bag
from your wall of clues.
346
00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:12,165
No, thanks.
347
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:14,376
I said, "look." What's it made of?
348
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,170
- Paper?
- Poop?
349
00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:18,130
A combination thereof?
350
00:22:18,130 --> 00:22:21,216
It's made entirely of matter,
351
00:22:21,216 --> 00:22:24,511
and that's the clue I needed
to solve the mystery.
352
00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:27,973
But how did it end up on my doorstep?
353
00:22:27,973 --> 00:22:29,766
Yeah, where'd it come from?
354
00:22:30,684 --> 00:22:34,813
You see,
approximately 13.8 billion years ago,
355
00:22:34,813 --> 00:22:38,275
all matter was created in the Big Bang.
356
00:22:39,109 --> 00:22:41,403
So that's where it came from.
357
00:22:41,403 --> 00:22:42,946
The Big Bang.
358
00:22:42,946 --> 00:22:45,782
Of course! It was so obvious!
359
00:22:46,074 --> 00:22:48,160
Oh!
360
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:49,870
But wait a minute.
361
00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:52,539
Where were you
when the Big Bang happened?
362
00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:55,125
Me? I...
363
00:22:56,126 --> 00:22:58,086
It was the Big Bang guy! Get him!
364
00:22:58,086 --> 00:22:59,379
Gotta go!
365
00:23:02,216 --> 00:23:04,718
Hang on, let me get the door.
366
00:23:07,471 --> 00:23:09,264
Neil deGrasse Tyson?
367
00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:13,143
Yeah. Listen, you got a place I can hide
where no one ever goes?
368
00:23:13,143 --> 00:23:14,895
Sure, right over here.
369
00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:19,775
Well, that's all for today, kids.
370
00:23:19,775 --> 00:23:24,696
And remember, in space,
no one can hear you read.
25952
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