All language subtitles for A.V.E.S.S02E02.WEB.h264-RBB

The famous Mrs. Sweeny.

There's the girl
I'm gonna marry.

Everything is
about sex.

That's Margaret.

Canapés and cock.
Is there anything else?

- Well, hopefully dessert.
- I do like it.

And I'm extremely good at it.

Captain Ian Campbell.

I liked him.
I liked his castle.

Shipwreck full of jewels.

I inherited it all

from a distant, distant cousin.

Ian always gets
what he bloody wants.

Be my duchess?

Yes?

Then yes.

Divorce him.

Best thing I ever did.

Perhaps if I didn't
love my son so much,

I would deprive you of
your gloating triumph.

- You win.

It's been one of the greatest
privileges of my life

- to restore Inveraray Castle.
- Mummy! Mummy!

Pay the b-bills.

It's what you're for.

Every morning,

I wonder which Ian

I'm going to wake up to.

An enduring legacy
for my husband

the Duke of Argyll.

What happens to me when you die?

- The home that I built?
- My son will be Duke,

and he's very fond
of his mother.

Don't push her in the lake
or anything.

Of course I won't.

- Promise.

No peeking.
It's a surprise.

I'm not peeking.

Turn right.
You are peeking.

I can feel
your eyelashes moving.

- All right, little,
little further.

Oh, you're-you're getting there.

- Yeah. Stop. Stop.

Ready? Look.

A cannon ball?

A Spanish Armada cannon ball.

Four centuries that's been
buried under the seabed,

and now it's your paperweight.

We're getting there.

All my treasure will be
somewhere safe.

- Probably two decks down.
- Mm-hmm.

I'm in the right place.

Didn't I tell you, "Do it"?

Didn't I promise you,
you'd be the one to do it?

Father?

Christ, I forgot. I'm sorry.

- Yeah.

Got to get you back to school.

Uh, Margaret,
you remember Mrs. MacPherson.

Yes. Of course.

I've asked her to do
some secretarial work for you.

She's excellent,
nothing gets by her.

Her husband died.

I promised him
I'd look after her.

Well, I could certainly
use the help.

Marvelous.

Come along, First Born.

My apologies,
a bit of a surprise for you.

No. Not at all.

Such good news.

A great family's fortune,
soon to be restored.

Wonderful for the Duke.

Wonderful for us both,
Mrs. MacPherson.

Will you come and wave me off?

Of course I will.

Then we'll discuss my duties.

And please, call me Yvonne.

Goodbye, Ian.

- Ah. Good morning.
- Morning.

Thank you.

The car is being packed.

We'll need to leave
in half an hour.

Thank you, Yvonne.

What is it?

I don't know.

It's a crank.

It's Louise's handwriting.

You're not to brood on it.

It belongs in the fire.

Not a word about this.

What on earth
do you take me for?

Are you telling me
you actually believe this?

It's your handwriting.

I write hundreds of letters.

I've never written this.

You spend an awful lot of time
in Paris.

Everyone spends a lot of time
in Paris.

I've never stayed
at L'Hôtel Saint Mariette.

I've never even heard of it.

I wish I had been unfaithful.

Would've given me some
happy memories of our marriage.

Are the boys my boys!?

I swear on the lives of my sons,
who I would die for,

that you are their father.

You don't deserve them,
but you are their father,

you piece of absolute shit.

You're brooding.

Why would someone send me
that letter?

Because people are very strange.

You should see some of
the things that I get sent.

Don't think about it,
'cause that's

what these peculiar,
nasty little people want.

Mm.

Of course the boys are yours.

Of course they are.

I don't get along
with their mother,

but I can't imagine for a second

that she'd do
something like that.

She's far too boring.

Don't leave me tonight.

Stay by my side.

Of course.

It's your daughter's birthday.
It'll be fun.

- Oh, Christ.

Thank you.

Come on, let's go.

- Hello.
- Good to see you.

Old Binky! Nice to see you.
Nice to see you.

Thank you so much for coming.

- Papa.
- Jeannie! Darling girl!

- Eighteen! Mwah.
- Mwah.

Happy birthday, Jeanne, darling.
You look wonderful.

- Margaret.
- Well.

Let's go get a drink.

Oh, good idea.
I-I'm spitting feathers.

Nice to see you!

- Really. Oh, hello.
- Duchess.

Oh, dear. Have you lost Ian,
darling?

He's over there
with, uh, wife number one.

Yes, of course.

Thank you, Maureen, darling.

- Enjoy the party.
- I will.

Jeanne, go back to your friends.

Oh, but, Mummy,
this is much more interesting.

Jeanne.

I paid for this party.

I know.

The least you could do is
not humiliate me.

This isn't about
humiliating you, Margaret.

This is about doing
what Ian wants,

because not doing what Ian wants
is a scene.

You must've realized that
by now.

A scene,
right here in public.

I don't want that.

Do you know...

I think you can't bear it
that I've succeeded

where you failed.

You think I want him back?

On the first night
of our honeymoon,

Ian took me to a brothel,

because, according to him,
I had a lot to learn.

I was 17.

Ian took everything I had.

And then he moved on to Oui Oui
and took everything she had.

And when the money runs out,
because it will,

the campaign to remove you
will begin in earnest.

And if you're not very careful,

you, too, will be left
with nothing.

You and "Wee Wee" may be
sniveling little girls,

but I'm not.

And I don't need or want
your advice.

He just left,
and you didn't try and stop him?

And I did look for you.

Well, not very hard.

He took my car, Yvonne.
My car and my driver.

I have a car.

Well, it's a Volvo.

No frills.
Covered in dog hair.

Dog hair? For a duchess?

- I'll arrange a taxi.
- No, I love dogs.

And you are?

Peter Combe.

Shall we?

Yes.

We shall.
Thank you, Yvonne.

Good night, Janet.

I hate the bathroom.

Why would anyone sane
want to watch themselves

as they strain for stool
from every possible angle?

There are other bathrooms
for you to strain in.

I hate those, too.

Ugh. In fact,
I hate this whole house.

Well, I love it.

You didn't mind passing out
in there last night.

Ow. Margaret, that's a low blow.

You do like to kick a man
when he's down, don't you?

If I liked kicking a man
when he was down,

I would've stamped you to pieces
on that bathmat.

You took my car, Ian.

My car and my chauffeur.

But look at you, you're fine,
you know.

All hungover and vulnerable
and delicious.

Mm.

Just don't treat me
like your other wives.

Oh, God. Don't tell me
you've been speaking to Janet.

No.

- You should give it up.
- Give what up?

This house. This cold,
sterile hole of a house.

- Don't be ridiculous.
- We'd have more money.

You're always complaining
about money.

Give it up, you won't
have to complain, will you?

Get that shipwreck
off the seafloor

and we can have
as many houses as we want.

You don't think I can do it,
do you?

You think I'm gonna cock it up.

Can't raise a shipwreck.

Can't fight a war
without getting captured.

- Can't father his own sons.
- Oh, for God's sake, Ian.

I told you to ignore
that bloody letter.

And who is it
who's always telling you

you can achieve
whatever you want?

- Me.
- Yes.

You do a lot of telling.
You're my nanny.

The last thing I am is
your nanny.

And if I didn't think
you could raise that hulk,

I wouldn't have invested
so much money in it.

Here we go again.

Money.

- I'm being a horrible bastard.
- Yes, you are.

- Why do you put up with me?
- No idea.

- I'm gonna take you out
for dinner tonight.
- Mm.

To make up for being

such an incorrigible,
selfish prick last night.

- Have a think about the house,
though.
- No.

- Yes.
- No.

Just think about it.

That's new
since I last saw you.

- Pain?
- No.

It's just a twinge.

Numbness? Pins and needles?

- No.
- Insomnia? Blurred vision?

Headaches?

No. No. Um, sometimes.

Anything else?

I want to have a baby.

You were lucky
to have two children,

all things considered,

and that was before your fall.

But my accident was years ago.

If you managed to carry
the child to term,

and that is a big if,

I am not certain
you'd survive the labor.

There's been so many advances
in medicine.

It could kill you.

- No, leave it.

Diana, darling.

You're answering your own door?

Have the ravens left the Tower?

Where's Il Duce?

Oh, he's at the House of Lords
all day.

Something about... Oh,
I don't know and I don't care.

Go away.

Now, I'm swearing you
to absolute secrecy, Diana.

All right. Fine. Yes.

What's the urgency?

Well?

I need you to buy me a baby boy.

What?

A newborn baby boy.

I'll pay. I'll pay very well.

You're married to a Pole.

You must have lost of contacts.

And there must be
some poor girl somewhere

who wants to give her baby
the best of everything,

you know, a wonderful life.

But the baby does need to
grow up tall like Ian, though,

so it's probably best
that you know the parents.

Oh, Jesus.

You're serious.

Margaret.

Either you are having
a nervous breakdown,

or I am.

Oh, Diana.

No, it's too awful.

No, it's too shocking.

Ian sons aren't his.

They're illegitimate.

Both of them, heir and spare.

How do you know?

Ian got a letter.

Anonymous.

They say they've got proof.

Well, that's just
standard extortion.

No, they don't want money.

They want to right
a great wrong.

Set matters straight.

They're some other man's sons.

Passed off as Ian's by
bloody Oui Oui this entire time.

Oui Oui?

She doesn't seem the type.

Oh, she's the type.

She's completely vindictive.

So, Ian needs an heir

because he can't possibly leave
anything it to them now, can he?

Have you met
the British aristocracy?

It's rammed with bastard earls
and by-blow barons.

Everyone turns a blind eye.

I've thought it all through.

I start to pad my waist.

Let people whisper about it.

Start the rumors.

And then I go to a clinic
in Switzerland,

and then you bring me
a beautiful baby boy,

and I give you a lot of money.

- I thought you were my friend.
- I am.

And as your friend,
I'm telling you

just don't get involved.

Ian's sons are nothing to do
with you.

Wh... Inveraray wouldn't exist
if it wasn't for me and Daddy.

It would be a ruin,
and those boys would have

nothing to inherit, so yes,
it has everything to do with me.

Margaret, go on holiday

before you get yourself
in trouble.

Diana, I swore you to secrecy,
so if you tell anyone,

- I'll know that you can't keep
a promise.

A long holiday.

- Somewhere sunny.

Oh, hello, darling.

You said you'd take me
out for dinner.

Do you know, the House sat late.

Yes, it did.

But you weren't there.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I was at the club.

No.

You weren't there, either.

Oh, your legion of spies.

- Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.
- Drunk.

You were drunk last night
and you're drunk now.

- Fish-face is being
a little nag tonight.

- God, you reek of other women.
- Do I?

You've been with
some other woman,

- then you come back to me
in this state?
- Oh, my God.

This relentless bourgeois whine.

- It's so fucking boring!

Your Grace?

Oh, dear.

Now look what you've made me do.

- I've gone and woken
the servant.

Why are you being like this?

I had such a lovely day,
and you've gone and spoiled it.

I'm gonna sleep at the club.

And tomorrow morning,
we go back to Inveraray,

- first train.
- I won't be.

You'll do what I tell you to do
and when I tell you to do it.

You must be confusing me
with one of your other wives!

So glad you were free.

Darling, for you,
I'm always free.

So, what's on the menu tonight?

Drinking or dancing?

- Both.
- Right answer.

"Gotta Keep Rolling"]

- Hello.

Hi. Hey.

- Hey.

- Ready? Go.

- Two martinis, please.

- [

I loved your mother so much.

You've got me, Daddy.

You've always got me.

You shouldn't have let Yvonne go

without discussing it
with me first.

We can't afford her, Ian.
We have to save money.

Besides, I didn't have
enough work for her.

She can't just stand around
doing nothing.

Well, why not? You do.

Look, I got her another job,

and I'm giving her lunch
to make up for it.

Ooh, lunch with you.
What a treat.

That's terrifying.

You think I want to do this?

You think I want
to debase myself,

advertising Argyll socks?

You'll have me selling
surgical trusses

with the family crest on it
next.

If it pays well, why not?

Or you could give up this house.

Or you could give up
your treasure hunt.

We're ready, Your Grace.

You done?

Oh, it's just like being there.

Ah, so where do you want me?

I'm out for dinner tonight.

Smile.

Super.

I was very sorry to hear
about your mother.

Thank you.

Hmm.

And are you enjoying
your new job?

They're a very
generous employer.

I'm very glad.

It was difficult to let you go,
I hope you understand that.

Yvonne, can I ask you?

You've known Ian longer
than I have,

and he and your husband were
such good friends.

Has he always been
so impossible?

It's the drinking.

He can be so changeable.

I can barely keep track
of his moods.

Well, the Duke has a lot
on his mind at the moment.

Although, I don't see
how you can tell

that he's impossible,
you are never with him.

I... beg your pardon?

You keep talking about
how much you love Inveraray...

Well, I do. It's my home.

But you're always here.

Going about with men,
men half your age.

If you... spent more time
with Ian,

supporting him
as a proper wife should,

then maybe he wouldn't be
so impossible.

Oh, I see.

- So it's my fault.
- I don't think you try
hard enough.

- No, I try.
- Do you?

And as for that advertisement,
how could you?

Debasing and humiliating a man
like that?

Your own husband forced to shill
for mass-produced socks.

Yvonne, I invited you here
as a friend,

and you choose to speak to me
like this?

You invited me to lunch

because you want me
to agree with you.

Perhaps you thought
I'd drop some hints,

some gossip about poor Margaret

and how she suffers
with the Duke.

What a saint that woman is.

Well, you're no saint.

I feel sorry for Ian.

He deserves better.

Well...

Ian always thought
you were terrible at your job.

Wasn't for me, you wouldn't have
lasted two months.

If you're going to tell lies,
do try and make them plausible.

Do you know, Yvonne,
I think you've just remembered

a very important engagement.

Do you know,
I think you're right.

I have.

Make sure Ian packs everything
he needs for Scotland.

- He needs a wife.

That's it.
We're shutting it down.

The exploration is over,
Your Grace.

Come on, please. I beg you.
We're nearly there.

Don't stop now.

I'm working it out
with the Admiralty.

You can stay in the boat.

You can, you can get back to it.

We're so close.

It's over, Your Grace.

Dr. John Petro for the Duke.

He is expecting me.

Ian.

What is it?

- I've failed.
- No.

No, of course you haven't.

You tried everything.
We both did.

It's just... it's not possible.

I wanted it for my boys.

My boys.

They're mine.

- Of course they are.

Your Grace, Dr. Petro.

Dear me, old boy.

You are a mess.

He's got a raging temperature,
and he's not making any sense.

I beg your pardon,
Your Grace, but...

I need privacy.

- I'll be just outside, darling.

I saw that you prescribed
amphetamines for the Duke.

Yes.

To boost his system.

I would have thought that
an iron tablet...

cod liver oil...
would've been better treatment.

Not amphetamines.

His behavior...

...can be very volatile.

Have you given my husband
this boost before?

I'm here to treat
your husband's pneumonia.

What sort of doctor are you?

The Duke's.

And which one of your lovers
are you seeing this time?

Is it Peter Combe?

For God's sake,

Peter escorts me.

He's got so many girlfriends,
I'd have to book him in advance.

I've got a meeting
with the bank.

And if I thought it would help
our situation,

I'd ride the manager
and all the clerks

like the Cheltenham winners.

No, you like it like this.

You're glad that shipwreck's
buried under the mud.

- Am I really?
- Mm.

Means you can still control me,
prancing around

calling yourself a duchess

with my balls
in your fucking handbag.

Well, it's not as if
they'd take up much room.

Dear.

Now you've lost your place.

You take too many of those.
They're not doing you any good.

They stop me from
shooting myself in the face.

How many men have you got?

Oh, at least 80.

Probably more.

How about you?
How many women have you got?

Of course, I could just
shoot you in the face.

You could.

But then you'd be hanged
for murder.

And I'd win, and think
how much you'd hate that.

You see, this is
why we're a match.

Oui Oui and Janet would've burst
into tears, but not you.

You're a little street fighter.

Lipstick.

Now that you've mentioned her...

have you decided
what you're going to do

about Wee Wee and the letter?

Oh.

After taking
professional advice,

I've decided to do nothing.

Professional advice?

I went to Scotland Yard.

Spoke to a detective.

He said this sort of thing
happens all the time.

Plus, they found nothing
at L'Hôtel Saint Mariette.

They said, "Do nothing.

They'll trip themselves up
in the end."

Well, I'm glad that
you've spoken to someone.

Though you never mentioned it
to me.

Well, why would I?

They're not your children.

Are you gonna talk
to your father about money?

Ian, I don't want to ask him for
money while he's still grieving.

I do love you, you know.

In spite of it all.

I do love you.

And don't worry
about your balls.

I'll keep them safe.

Don't tell me
you didn't know, dear.

No, of course I did.

- They just wanted to keep it,
uh...
- Secret?

No. Private.

Being so soon after Mummy.

And there's photographers
everywhere I go, so...

- Mm. You didn't want to steal
the bride's light.
- Mm.

You are so selfless.

Utterly angelic.

"The couple departed immediately
for a honeymoon in Barbados."

Adorable.

Your new stepmother's younger
than you.

Daddy is a sly old dog.

You're sure you're okay?

I'll be fine.

I feel silly telephoning you.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

No, it's okay.

- I was just worried about you,
that's all.

Oh, God. Here he is.

Oh, I look a fright.

Margaret.

Hmm?

Why don't you just tell him
another night?

Hmm?

We could just have
a quiet little dinner,

just you and me.

No, darling.

No.

Sorry for ruining your evening.

No. No, you didn't.

No plans. As per.

Uh, call me.

Mm. No.

Please...

- B... b...

Be nice.

I know how to...

b-behave.

Salutations and congratulations,
George.

- Hello.
- Thank you.
Hello, hello, hello.

- Hello.
- Jane.

- Happy to see you. Hello.
- Enchanted to meet you at last.

- Oh, thank you.
- My darling daughter.

- Come in and sit down.
- Oh, thank you.

So, how was the journey up?

- Oof, long.
- Oh, very long. Yes.

- Oh, it's nice to be here.

Well, let's have a spot of
restorative lunch,

and then I'll take Jane
for a tour of the gardens.

Gosh, it's, um...

- It's beautiful.
- Mm.

Of course I should've told you,
but I was swept off my feet.

I've been so lonely, you know,
since Mother.

- I would've kept you company.

Ian was drunk at lunch.

We were all having champagne.

He was drunk when we arrived.

And I see the way he drinks
in the club.

- Everybody drinks, Daddy.
- He drinks for oblivion,
and you know it.

- Daddy?
- Please, don't ask me
to bail Ian out again.

I'll not throw good money
after bad.

I see.

You understand about the money?

Of course.

And about Jane?

I just want you to be happy.

I am.

So very happy.

Did you talk to him?

Yes.

And?

No.

There's no more money.

How long am I going to get
the silent treatment for?

It's pathetic.

It's especially sickening to
watch you be completely charming

to Jane and then foul to me.

Mm, well, it's easy to be lovely
to Jane.

- She's delicious and sexy.

Your old man's gonna need
Spanish fly to keep up with her.

She's wasted on him.

What are you for?

What are you for?

- What is the point of you?

- What are you for?

I'm-I'm coming in!

I'm-I'm coming in right now!

Your Grace.

- Do you need a doctor?

Dr. Petro.

How did you find me?

Well, I'm sure the police
would be very interested in

a doctor whose consulting room
is this sordid hole

and whose patients
queue up outside.

What can I do for you?

You are going to stop giving
my husband amphetamines.

You'll cease all contact
with him.

His health is no longer
your concern.

Do we understand one another?

Good.

- That's why. Yeah.
- Hold up. Hold up. Your Grace.

- Any comment on the Duke taking
a suite at Claridges?

- I'm sorry,
but you're wrong.

My husband's in Scotland.

If he was in London,
then he'd be with me.

Nope,
he's in Claridges.

We've been told
your marriage is over.

- Any comment?

- Duchess!
- Duchess, a quick word!

Oh, no. Here we go. Duchess?

Oh, of course it would be you.

Where is he?

He doesn't want to see you,
Your Grace.

What have you told him?

I haven't told him anything.

Haven't told anyone anything.

I want to see my husband.

Please, don't make a scene.

He doesn't want to see you.

I wouldn't believe a word
she's saying. She's a liar.

- That's why I didn't want her
working for me anymore.
- Duchess!

- She's a deeply troubled woman.
- Duchess!

You try and help people,

and they just throw it
back in your face.

Where is he?

Hello?

Come, please.

Ian?

Please.

Please come.

Help.

I can't bear it, please come.

Where are you?

- Oh, Ian.

Jesus.

- Bon appétit.
- Merci.

I don't know
why I went to Claridges.

I don't know why I say
and I do the things I do.

I don't.

You frighten me sometimes, Ian.

And you hurt me.

You wouldn't give me money.

And I kept thinking
that you were lying.

You were going behind my back,
and you were lying.

I think we can make it work
between us.

I really do.

But we have to be kinder.

Yes.

Stop doing terrible things
to each other.

What terrible things
have you done?

Nothing, just...

being in London too much.

It's not quite the same
as humiliating me in public,

- but still...
- I'm so sorry.

Yes, you should be.

I'm sorry.

- The pills and the drinking
have got to stop, Ian.
- Yes.

- For good.
- Yes.

We'll be all right.

- Piss off.

Hmm.