All language subtitles for gravity.falls.s02e18.hdtv.x264-w4f

( maniacal laughter )
Oh, it's happening!

It's finally,
finally happening.

( laughing )

Physical form?
Don't mind if I do!

Oh! What just happened?

Oh! Oh, man.
This is bad.

This is real bad.

Guys, we've got
a situation.

( all exclaiming )

( laughter )

All right, listen up,
you one-life-spanned,

three-dimensional,

five-sensed
skin puppets.

For a trillion years,
I've been trapped

in my own decaying
dimension,

waiting for a new universe
to call my own.

Name's Bill, but you
can call me

your new lord and master
for all eternity.

Now meet the gang of
interdimensional criminals

and nightmares
I call my friends.

8 Ball,
Kryptos,

The Being Whose Name
Must Never Be Said.

Ah, what the heck.

It's Zanthar.
Then of course,

there's also Teeth,
Keyhole, Hectorgon,

Amorphous Shape,
Aronica Pacifier and these guys.

This is our town
now, boys.

Now see here,
you unholy triangle fella.

As mayor, I strongly urge you
to get on outta here.

Yeah. Things with
one eye are weird.

We don't like
out-of-towners.

We punch what
we don't understand.

I would just like to say
that as a rich capitalist,

I welcome your
tyrannical rule.

Perhaps I can be
one of your, uh,

horsemen of
the apocalypse.

- Dad!
- Not now, sweetie.
The grownups are talking.

Oh, wow,
that's a great offer.

How about instead,
I shuffle the functions

of every hole
in your face?

( evil laughter )

Durland!
My precious Deputy Durland!

It's time we do
a little redecorating.

I could really use
a castle of some kind.

And how about some bubbles
of pure madness?

( screaming )

This party never stops.

Time is dead,
and meaning has no meaning.

Existence
is upside down,

and I reign supreme.

Welcome, one and all,
to Weirdmageddon.

( shrieking )

ow
the world ends.

Not with a bang,
but with a... cuckoo.

- Weirdmageddon.
- ( both screaming )

Move it, stretch!

Hey, we're
scampering here.

The rift is shattered.

Bill's world
is spilling into ours.

Every minute,
his powers grow stronger.

Mabel... the rift must
have cracked inside
her backpack.

She must be in danger.
I have to go find her.

Mabel. Come in, Mabel.

Mabel!

Dipper, listen to me.

We can find
your sister soon,

but first, we have
to stop Bill.

If we can blast him back
through the rip he came out of,

we just might
be able to stop him

before his weirdness
spreads across the entire globe.

Are you sure
defeating Bill
is even possible?

No, I'm not sure.

But being a hero
means fighting back

even when it seems
impossible.

- Will you follow me?
- To the ends of the earth.

Good, because
that's where we're heading.

You also might
want to step inside.

Weirdness wave!

Ah! Abuelita,
a tidal wave of madness

just went over us.

Oh, Soos,
such an imagination.

Ah!

You turned into
a chair!

Why don't you have
a seat and relax?

What about you,
and my friends?

I'll be fine.
You go help the others.

When the universe
is broken,

only one handyman
can fix it.

I'm coming for you,
friends.

Time for a nap.

Hey!

That's it, goat.

It's time I threw you
off this property for good!

On second thought,
I'm gonna run like
a coward now.

( loud bleating )

Freedom, freedom!

Okay, inmates,

it's time to review
your finger paintings.

Good. Nice.

Gideon, does this look like
someone who's ready

to re-enter society?

Gideon's unappreciated
in his time.

Oh, Ghost Eyes,
you're making me blush.

Gideon makes prison
life worth living.

ALL: Gideon, Gideon...

- ( loud rumbling )
- ( all gasping )

( bleating )

( raucous screech )

Oh, my,
Bill came through.

BILL: Ready to cause
some havoc, boys?

Ah, my quantum
destabilizer.

Been waiting a long time
to use this.

We're only gonna have
one chance to take this shot.

Steady. Steady.

And...

( goofy laughter )

I'm alive now.

Oh, no!

Well, well, well.

And here I thought today
couldn't get any better.

Great-uncle Ford!

Dipper, take my journals.

Listen. I know of
one other way to defeat Bill.

It's...

Oh, no, Dipper, run!
Get down!

Good old Six Fingers.

I've been waiting
an eternity

- to have a chat
face to face.
- ( yells )

Everyone, this Armageddon
wouldn't be possible

without help from
our friend here.

Give him
a six-fingered hand.

This brainiac is the one
who built the portal

in the first place.

Don't look
so sour, Fordsie.

It's not too late
to join me.

With that extra finger,

you'd fit right in
with my freaks.

I'll die before
I join you.

I know your weakness, Bill.

Oh, yeah?
And I know a riddle.

- Why did the old man
do this?
- This?

Because I needed
a new back scratcher.

( laughter )

That's enough!

Hand over my uncle,
or else!

Now isn't this...

interesting?

My old puppet
is back for an encore.

You think
you can stop me?

Go ahead, Pine Tree,
show me what you got.

I...

Uh...

"I, um, I..."
Do it, kid.

Do some brilliant thing
that takes me down right now.

What do you got,
Pine Tree?

Everyone's waiting.
Do it!

Bill!!

That's right.
Don't be a hero, kid.

This is what happens
to heroes in my world.

No! The journals!

Not much of
a threat now,
are you?

Now can anyone remind me
why we came here?

To get weird!

That's right.
VIP party at the Fearamid.

Oh, and 8 Ball, Teeth,
you've earned a treat.

- Have the kid for a snack.
- Huh?

Hench maniacs,
roll out!

( Bill cackling )

( panting )

So you wanna eat him
or something?

Oh, definitely.
Let's eat him.

( screaming )

We're day three in
this strange cataclysmic event

which some are calling
Weirdmageddon,

or the Odd-pocalypse.

Weather today calls for
black clouds, blood rain,

and frequent showers
of eyeball bats

turning people
into stone.

I'm Shondra Jiminez,
and I ate a rat for dinner.

Mabel, it's me.

So far,
I've eluded capture,

but I haven't been able
to find you or Stan anywhere.

I don't know if
you can hear me,

but wherever you are,
whatever happens,

- I'm going to find you.
- ( animal shrieking )

The mall! Maybe they're
hiding in there.

- Oh, no.
- Hey. Hey, you.

Hey, I wanna
talk to you.

I wanna talk to you about
going inside my mouth.

I think you wanna
get in here.

Hey, you! Hey,
I'm talkin' to you!

You don't have to make
a big deal outta this.

Hello. Hello!

Why are you
just ignoring me?

That's seriously rude

to just ignore
someone like that.

Stan! Mabel!

Maybe at least I can
get something to eat.

The last nachos
on Earth.

Help! The nachos
tricked me!

Dipper?

Wendy? Oh, no.

You've been transformed into
some sort of tree monster.

It's just camouflage.

My dad made me and my brothers
do apocalypse training

every year instead of
Christmas.

Guess it's sort of cool
their paranoia paid off.

Nice! Bat meat.
Let me get that for you.

Wendy, I'm so glad
to find you.

I thought everyone
I knew was gone.

Hey, hey, it's okay.

We have each other now.

And Toby Determined,
who I accidentally
mistook for a monster.

This just in:
This arrow in my shoulder.

We shouldn't stay
out in the open
for too long.

Let me show you
my hideout.

We were playing
Truth Or Dare
in the cemetery

when it happened.

The eyeballs froze
Nate, Lee, Tambry
and Thompson.

( cash register jingles )

Robbie almost got away,
but had to pause
to take a selfie.

What about you?

I was in a fight
with Mabel when
it happened.

Uncle Ford asked me
to be his apprentice

after the summer was over.

But that would mean
I wouldn't go back home.

It would mean growing up
without Mabel.

Oh, dude.

Mabel didn't
take it well,

and she ran off
into the forest.

She couldn't even
look me in the eye.

Come on, let's get
some fresh air.

Toby, you watch the camp.

Don't call me Toby
anymore.

Call me Bodacious T.

No one will ever
call you that.

( whining groan )

End of the world.
Man.

Those death metal
album covers

got it shockingly right.

You know, I used to think
I could get out of anything.

But this?
The journals are destroyed,

Ford is captured,

and I can't find
my family anywhere.

Bill said it himself.

There's no room
for heroes out here.

We lost.

Look, dude,
it's not over yet.

You've beaten Bill
twice before.

Why is this time
any different?

'Cause then,
I had Mabel.

Then you need to get
Mabel back.

Look, this summer,
I've seen some amazing things,

but nothing as amazing
as you and your sister.

I don't know if
it's dumb luck,

or yin and yang
or whatever,

but when you two
work together,

there's nothing you two
can't accomplish.

You just need
to make up
and team up,

and save the universe.

But how will
I ever find her?

( loud rumbling )

The shooting star
from Mabel's sweater.

She's in there.
I know it.

Whoa, is that like
twin ESP?

No, we don't have that.

But we do have this thing
where our allergies

totally act up
at the same time.

( sneezes )

Mabel needs us.

How are we gonna get out there
without being caught?

I have an idea.

( dance music plays )

Spin that person,
spin that person.

Spin that person.

( raucous laughter )

Go nuts, guys.

When we're done partying,
I unveil phase two.

Open up.
This is the police.

Time police.

Just play it cool.
Ditch the time punch.

Let me do the talking.

Bill Cipher, you are
in violation

of the rules
of Spacetime,

and possessing the body
of a time officer.

My body is a temple.
How dare you?

Hear this, Cipher.

Ugh, Time Baby.

If your rip in this dimension
continues,

it could destroy
the very fabric of existence.

Surrender now
or face my tantrum.

Oh, no, a tantrum.

Whatever will I do
about that?

How about this?

- ( all gasping )
- Aw, snap!

He just killed
Time Baby.

( all cheering )

Oh, man, this has gone
from bad to worse.

I gotta get out of
Time Dodge.

Boss, the pine tree kid
got away before we could
eat him.

Are you worried he might
try to cause some trouble?

Yeah, trouble with
Mabel's bubble?

Ha! I'm not worried.

I've got someone
on the case.

The abandoned auto mart.

Free cars,
ripe for the hot wiring.

We have found
our ride to Mabel.

Wonder if they
have a tank.

I always wanted
to drive a tank.

I can't believe
this place is
just abandoned.

Oh, an air freshener.

Finally, I'll smell like
a person.

Stealy, stealy. Ah!

Huh, it's gonna take more
than one dart

to keep me...

Oh, no. Tony!

Was it Tony?
I can never
remember his name.

Well, well, looks like
we got ourselves

a pair of
ground walkers.

Ha ha, ground walkers.

Ain't got no wheels.

( raucous laughter )

Listen, discount
auto warriors.

We just wanna make it
to that bubble out east.

We have no quarrel
with you.

Oh, but that's
where you're wrong.

Hands where I can see 'em.

Y'all fellers ain't
goin' nowhere.

Y'all?

Fellers? Wait.
Gideon?

That's Sheriff Gideon.

Under the authority of
Bill Cipher,

I place you two
under arrest.

Hi, Wendy.
Have we formally met?

( both grunting )

Ooh-wee.

Look who the apocalypse
dragged in.

Y'all are in
a 12-piece bucket

of deep fried
trouble now.

Ghost Eyes, spittoon.

It's Gideon.

And he's gotten
folksier.

My old pal Bill
figured you might try

to rescue Mabel,

so he appointed me
master of these wastelands,

and keeper of the bubble.

My sweet, precious Mabel's
trapped inside,

and I have the only key
wrapped around my...

well, I wouldn't
call it a neck exactly.

Wrapped around this little
pocket of fat under my head.

Gideon, you have no right
to keep her in there.

Bill explained it to me
nice and simple.

She was always
destined to be mine,

and now that I have her
in a cage,

she'll learn to love me.

I have an eternity to wait.

Ghost Eyes, ready to escort
our friends to Bill's dungeon?

No. Hey!

This isn't gonna
work, Gideon.

Oh? And why's that?

Because after I break
Ghost Eyes' arm,

and steal that key
from your neck,

I'm gonna wear your butt
on my foot

- like a rhinestone slipper.
- ( laughter )

And what makes you think
you can do all that?

'Cause I'm a flippin'
Corduroy!

Ghost Eyes,
my hench angel.

( screams )

Get back!

Get back, or I will
drop-kick him, I swear.

You'll never
get away with this,
you hear me?

Guess what?
We already did.

Wendy, you're
the coolest person I know.

I know, dude.
Tell me about it later.

After them!

- You want your baby seat?
- Yes, please.

We are not letting them
get Mabel.

Discount Auto Mart warriors,
roll out!

Okay, all we have to do
is outrace Gideon's henchmen,

unlock the bubble,
save Mabel, save the world.

Quick question:
did you ever get
your driver's license?

Definitely not.
Arm!

I can't let 'em
free Mabel.

Remind me why you're
keeping your girlfriend
in a prison bubble again.

Have we, the prisoners,
become the wardens?

She loves me.
She just doesn't
know it yet.

- Now quit the philosophy.
- Sorry. It was my major.

Ha! Weirdness bubble
blockin' the path.

Ooh-wee!
We got 'em now.

Watch it. Go around
that bubble field.

No way around.
Hold on! We're goin' through.

What's even in there?

( both screaming )

( coughing )
That was horrible.

Here comes another one, dude.
Brace yourself!

( screams )

Wendy, we're
almost there.

We just have
to make that jump.

Total lack of driver's training,
don't fail me now.

So close.

Mabel... I'm...

almost there.

Hey, Dipper.
How's it hangin'?

- Soos!
- Soos?

Handyman of the apocalypse,
at your service.

Soos, how'd you...
where'd you...

I've been wandering
the plains like a desperado,

helping strangers.

I guess there are
some folk songs about me now.

Let me see
what the damage is here.

The good news is,
your arm is okay.

What's the bad news?

Bad news is,
we're surrounded, dudes.

Ooh-wee!

I daresay you almost
had a jump on me

there for a second.

But this ain't
your Gravity Falls anymore.

Out here, I win.

( blows low note )

Bill's hench bats
will be here any minute

to retrieve y'all.
Mabel's mine now!

Is she?

Well, yeah.
I have her trapped.

Ergo, Mabel is mine.

Gideon, listen to me.

If I've learned
anything this summer,

it's that you can't
force someone to love you.

The best you can do
is strive to be

someone worthy of loving.

Oh, I'm worthy
of lovin'.

These prisoners love me.

But Mabel doesn't,
because you're selfish.

But you can change.

Bill thinks there's
no heroes in this world,

but if we work together
and fight back,

we can defeat him.

You wanna be
Mabel's hero?

Stand up to Bill
and let us save her.

That's crazy.

You know what Bill
would do to me if
that happens?

- You scared of Bill?
- No, I...

It's a complicated
situation.

Look inside, Gideon.

If all this
is for Mabel,

then ask yourself what Mabel
would want you to do.

Dipper, will you tell her
what I did?

Of course.

I hope you're right
about this.

Guys, new plan.

Bill's minions are gonna
be on us in seconds.

But I'm not gonna let
that dumb triangle

be the warden of me.

Y'all ready for a good,
old-fashioned prison brawl?

We're behind you
for life, brother.

Fighting children
is boring.

Fighting a chaos god
sounds fun.

Let's do this!
Henchmen, roll out!

Whew! And I thought
I was gonna have
to throw down.

Okay. Remember, guys,
this is a prison bubble

designed by Bill.

We've gotta prepare ourselves
for what we find in here.

Whatever it is,
we'll do it together.

- For Mabel.
- For Mabel.

For Mabel.

Anybody wanna
get in my mouth?

I'm a big, hungry monster.

I'm a big, hungry
monster here.

I would really appreciate it
if someone...

You, ma'am,
you, ma'am,

- how would you
like to get in--
- ( woman screams )

Anybod... hello!

Hey, sir, sir.

False alarm.
It's just a bird.

Not one person.

Not one person
has gotten in my mouth.

I don't care anymore.
I just...

( sighs )
I gotta call my mother.