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Synchro: Anyone Sixe Guilamu
Transcript: Anyone
Suggestions critics insults: itcrowdsub@gmail.com
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The IT Crowd - 1x02 - Calamity Jen
3
00:00:48,601 --> 00:00:51,692
Has this... ever happened to you?
4
00:01:05,376 --> 00:01:10,129
From today, dialling 999
won't get you the emergency services.
5
00:01:10,239 --> 00:01:12,592
And that's not the only thing
that's changing.
6
00:01:13,217 --> 00:01:15,851
Nicer ambulances,
faster response times,
7
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and better looking drivers
8
00:01:17,522 --> 00:01:19,754
mean they're not just
the emergency services,
9
00:01:19,785 --> 00:01:22,494
they're "your" emergency services. So...
10
00:01:22,558 --> 00:01:24,273
Remember the new number:
11
00:01:36,031 --> 00:01:37,636
That's...
12
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:52,737
Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble...
13
00:01:52,916 --> 00:01:54,865
Well that's easy to remember!
14
00:01:54,961 --> 00:02:03,616
0118 999 881 999 119 725...
15
00:02:03,699 --> 00:02:04,598
...3!
16
00:02:05,369 --> 00:02:07,490
I don't know why
they just couldn't keep it as it was!
17
00:02:07,536 --> 00:02:09,640
How hard is it to remember 911?
18
00:02:09,675 --> 00:02:11,233
- You mean 999...
- I mean 999!
19
00:02:11,260 --> 00:02:13,127
- That's the American one!
- Yeah!
20
00:02:13,198 --> 00:02:15,941
- You berk!
- Come on, are you ready?
21
00:02:16,897 --> 00:02:18,536
I don't know what to say really
it's fun...
22
00:02:18,559 --> 00:02:20,289
there are some many issues in the world,
23
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,711
They are beautiful, I love them...
24
00:02:21,722 --> 00:02:24,264
in fact they're the most beautiful shoes
I've ever seen but...
25
00:02:24,298 --> 00:02:26,102
you know, I can't have everything
that I love,
26
00:02:26,124 --> 00:02:28,469
otherwise I'd own lots of things,
and actually they're red,
27
00:02:28,528 --> 00:02:31,630
which is quite tarty, and they don't
necessarily go with any of my outfits...
28
00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,981
Come on you crazy bitch!
29
00:02:34,072 --> 00:02:34,874
Come on!
30
00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:36,906
Come on!
31
00:02:37,068 --> 00:02:39,251
- Denholm's called the general.
- Oh God, another one!
32
00:02:39,269 --> 00:02:39,840
Yeah!
33
00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:42,616
I bet he declares war on something!
34
00:02:43,076 --> 00:02:45,005
He loves declaring war!
35
00:02:46,168 --> 00:02:47,695
I am declaring...
36
00:02:47,781 --> 00:02:48,853
WAR!
37
00:02:52,482 --> 00:02:54,504
I can see that got your attention.
38
00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:58,547
What am I declaring war on?
39
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,269
My bollocks?!
40
00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:02,883
Stress!
41
00:03:04,124 --> 00:03:07,808
Stress is a disease, people,
and I am a cure!
42
00:03:08,210 --> 00:03:09,852
I'm a doctor with a cure.
43
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:12,444
No, no! I'm a General!
And it's still a war!
44
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,225
A war on disease!
45
00:03:14,226 --> 00:03:15,303
Stress!
46
00:03:16,786 --> 00:03:18,319
There's too much stress around here.
47
00:03:18,527 --> 00:03:20,436
They're very expensive and besides,
48
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,044
the woman in the shop said
they were way too small for me.
49
00:03:23,057 --> 00:03:25,214
- You see you know, be practical, go on!
- In the time...
50
00:03:25,269 --> 00:03:26,496
I've been speaking,
51
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:29,671
over 18 million people
have died of stress.
52
00:03:34,517 --> 00:03:35,609
That's another one.
53
00:03:36,553 --> 00:03:37,683
That's another one.
54
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,230
More...
55
00:03:40,411 --> 00:03:41,458
Mayhem!
56
00:03:41,829 --> 00:03:43,044
We gotta deal with it!
57
00:03:49,014 --> 00:03:50,709
- Are you ready to deal with it?!
- Yeah!
58
00:03:50,775 --> 00:03:52,379
Say: "I hate stress!"
59
00:03:52,396 --> 00:03:53,529
- I hate stress!
- No!
60
00:03:53,648 --> 00:03:54,987
You didn't let me finish.
61
00:03:55,203 --> 00:03:56,715
Say: "I hate stress..."
62
00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:59,367
and I want to limitate
its influence in my life,
63
00:03:59,561 --> 00:04:01,656
what can I do about it? Anyone?
64
00:04:02,986 --> 00:04:03,981
Have a bath?
65
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:06,442
Have a bath?!
66
00:04:06,675 --> 00:04:07,850
Get a bike!
67
00:04:08,421 --> 00:04:10,603
I cycle to work... everyday!
68
00:04:10,666 --> 00:04:11,967
70 miles!
69
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,046
Both here, and here...
70
00:04:14,269 --> 00:04:16,366
are as red as a fire engine!
71
00:04:17,349 --> 00:04:18,441
Any other ideas?
72
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,248
Jen, what about you?
73
00:04:21,306 --> 00:04:22,218
Shoes!
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00:04:22,508 --> 00:04:24,306
- What?
- Shoes!
75
00:04:24,776 --> 00:04:26,379
Well, shoes...
76
00:04:27,487 --> 00:04:28,719
Ok, look!
77
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,466
I have invited Dr. Julian Holmes
78
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,083
to come and give a class at lunchtime.
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00:04:33,101 --> 00:04:35,117
He is Europe's leading stress expert.
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00:04:35,284 --> 00:04:37,391
They call him:" Stressperts!"
81
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,189
Anyone interested in coming along
picking up
82
00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:40,689
a few tips on how to manage stress?
83
00:04:43,904 --> 00:04:45,459
There's a free buffet...
84
00:04:49,106 --> 00:04:49,900
Good!
85
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:51,680
Good people.
86
00:04:51,933 --> 00:04:53,367
Oh! By the way!
87
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,899
Anyone still experiencing stress
at the end of the day...
88
00:04:56,707 --> 00:04:59,527
will be fired!
89
00:05:00,197 --> 00:05:01,362
It's not going on!
90
00:05:01,415 --> 00:05:03,738
Yeah, I think it is so.
Just down angle it a bit more.
91
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,511
Are you sure you're a 5?
92
00:05:05,563 --> 00:05:07,610
- I'm not a liar.
- Yeah, but I mean I can't...
93
00:05:09,174 --> 00:05:09,839
Just... just...
94
00:05:09,924 --> 00:05:11,948
I can feel the heel going into the shoe.
95
00:05:11,961 --> 00:05:13,045
Just down angle a bit more...
96
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,489
There is no angle, but I could...
97
00:05:14,510 --> 00:05:15,722
Don't let me push you away!
98
00:05:15,736 --> 00:05:17,438
Just lean in with the shoe. Lean in...
99
00:05:17,573 --> 00:05:18,727
with the shoe!
100
00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:19,524
Lean in!
101
00:05:31,413 --> 00:05:33,405
We've been here... for half an hour.
102
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,276
The shoes aren't going on!
103
00:05:35,290 --> 00:05:37,352
They're two sizes too small.
104
00:05:37,485 --> 00:05:38,980
And even if they did go on,
105
00:05:39,096 --> 00:05:40,271
they would cripple you.
106
00:05:40,579 --> 00:05:42,324
You don't want that, do you?
107
00:06:00,161 --> 00:06:02,726
I myself, have been subject to some...
108
00:06:03,064 --> 00:06:06,169
terrible rages, but... Yes?
109
00:06:06,608 --> 00:06:09,978
- I'm sorry. Is this the stress class?
- Oh yeah. Come on in.
110
00:06:10,241 --> 00:06:11,222
Thank you.
111
00:06:12,728 --> 00:06:14,161
Moss!
112
00:06:14,533 --> 00:06:18,988
This is in here! Moss!
113
00:06:23,593 --> 00:06:25,435
Just come in.
114
00:06:55,271 --> 00:06:56,418
Thank you.
115
00:07:11,774 --> 00:07:12,316
Ok.
116
00:07:15,450 --> 00:07:16,401
Are you all right?
117
00:07:18,893 --> 00:07:20,621
As I was saying...
118
00:07:20,811 --> 00:07:23,490
I myself have been subject
to some terrible rages.
119
00:07:23,768 --> 00:07:25,067
Where I've...
120
00:07:25,164 --> 00:07:27,621
snapped at my wife, or spoken harshly
121
00:07:27,869 --> 00:07:30,192
to a work colleague, because of stress.
122
00:07:30,330 --> 00:07:34,305
If I... just... thinking about it now,
I realise I'm...
123
00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:35,425
raising my voice.
124
00:07:35,881 --> 00:07:37,208
I'm sorry.
125
00:07:39,530 --> 00:07:42,158
Stress is the main cause
of heart attacks.
126
00:07:42,307 --> 00:07:45,277
And even a little bit... well...
127
00:07:46,484 --> 00:07:48,706
Let me show you what stress can do.
128
00:07:53,571 --> 00:07:55,466
I'm gonna need a volunteer.
129
00:07:56,503 --> 00:07:57,778
Yes. Come on up.
130
00:08:01,385 --> 00:08:04,364
That's fine. Can I have your left hand
there? The back?
131
00:08:04,434 --> 00:08:06,018
And just relax there.
132
00:08:06,249 --> 00:08:08,986
I'm gonna ask you
a very personal question.
133
00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:11,471
There we are, you see?
134
00:08:11,813 --> 00:08:13,534
Sorry, I'm not gonna ask you
anything at all.
135
00:08:13,542 --> 00:08:15,740
That's just to show how little is needed
136
00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:17,890
to send downstress levels shooting up.
137
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,360
Just a simple statement like that
138
00:08:19,372 --> 00:08:21,346
is registered very strongly
on the display.
139
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,815
- Yes, another volunteer?
- Yeah.
140
00:08:22,992 --> 00:08:23,531
Ok.
141
00:08:23,612 --> 00:08:24,772
I'll have... just this off.
142
00:08:27,151 --> 00:08:29,639
Ah! There it goes! Yes, raise up!
143
00:08:29,687 --> 00:08:31,588
Look at that! Brilliant!
144
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:35,136
Brilliant, excellent!
It's a super machine!
145
00:08:42,202 --> 00:08:43,827
Wow, great shoes!
146
00:08:43,926 --> 00:08:44,995
Thank you very much.
147
00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:48,477
I really envy women with dainty feet.
148
00:08:48,588 --> 00:08:49,948
What are you? A five?
149
00:08:50,409 --> 00:08:52,763
Yeah! Five...
150
00:08:55,873 --> 00:09:00,025
Well, just a little
misunderstanding there I imagine. So...
151
00:09:00,216 --> 00:09:02,014
- Huh let's move on... with...
- Wow!
152
00:09:02,257 --> 00:09:04,796
I actually haven't had a proper go yet.
153
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,426
Well, I don't need attach... can't,
what's happened there...
154
00:09:07,479 --> 00:09:09,196
Actually, I don't think that's fair...
155
00:09:09,210 --> 00:09:10,394
I would like a go, and I think
156
00:09:10,505 --> 00:09:13,038
Roy should be punished for
nearly killing that lady.
157
00:09:13,093 --> 00:09:15,042
Well, I think I should go first!
158
00:09:15,049 --> 00:09:16,110
I see, well let's move on...
159
00:09:16,124 --> 00:09:17,851
- When did you grow a bit?
- A little go.
160
00:09:17,878 --> 00:09:19,820
- We gotta move on...
- And I think we could...
161
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:21,096
Can we just move on?
162
00:09:21,136 --> 00:09:23,114
You're old ? Are you very old?
163
00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:24,216
Let's move on!
164
00:09:25,930 --> 00:09:27,296
Oh! Shut up!
165
00:09:31,517 --> 00:09:32,589
What are you eating?
166
00:09:32,831 --> 00:09:33,850
Muffin.
167
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,751
A muffin? How can you be hungry,
168
00:09:35,779 --> 00:09:37,834
you ate a whole chicken
at the stress buffet!
169
00:09:39,225 --> 00:09:40,027
What's that?
170
00:09:40,331 --> 00:09:42,015
Oh, I've made a stress machine
171
00:09:42,043 --> 00:09:44,641
to try out for myself,
like the one in that class.
172
00:09:44,825 --> 00:09:45,738
Watch this.
173
00:09:46,605 --> 00:09:49,686
I'm going to ask myself
a very personal question.
174
00:09:52,737 --> 00:09:56,262
Don't worry, I'm not really going
to ask myself any questions.
175
00:09:57,802 --> 00:09:59,026
Pretty good.
176
00:09:59,111 --> 00:10:01,947
Not as good as the one
in the stress class.
177
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:24,469
The shoes!
178
00:10:26,612 --> 00:10:28,029
What was all that about?
179
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,897
Well, like all the women,
she's shoe mad!
180
00:10:30,936 --> 00:10:32,457
It's a bit sexist, isn't it?
181
00:10:32,629 --> 00:10:35,032
Do you know one woman
who isn't obsessed with shoes?
182
00:10:35,118 --> 00:10:37,053
No, but I only know one woman.
183
00:10:37,226 --> 00:10:40,381
And she just left the room shouting:
"the shoes!".
184
00:11:01,757 --> 00:11:04,439
The needle's freaking out!
185
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,260
Try not to hurt yourself!
186
00:11:14,268 --> 00:11:15,975
- Moss?
- Huh?
187
00:11:16,201 --> 00:11:19,182
Did you use a soldering iron
to make that stress machine?
188
00:11:19,226 --> 00:11:19,962
Yes.
189
00:11:20,332 --> 00:11:21,536
You turned it off?
190
00:11:21,626 --> 00:11:23,804
Oh I'm fairly sure I did!
191
00:11:25,798 --> 00:11:29,128
Because, you remember
what happened last time, right?
192
00:11:29,196 --> 00:11:31,032
Yes! That was very funny!
193
00:11:31,049 --> 00:11:32,363
Well no! No.
194
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:36,141
It was very dangerous
and someone nearly died!
195
00:11:37,002 --> 00:11:38,304
Right! No! Yeah!
196
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,227
I was thinking of a different incident.
The one on the golf course.
197
00:11:41,616 --> 00:11:42,605
What?
198
00:11:43,382 --> 00:11:45,428
I'm talking about the fire!
199
00:11:45,492 --> 00:11:49,230
Oh yeah, fire sorry! I always
get mixed up between golf and fire.
200
00:11:49,991 --> 00:11:52,315
- Just make sure it's off!
- It is off.
201
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:53,260
I think.
202
00:11:53,772 --> 00:11:56,477
- Well just make sure it is.
- I will make sure it is.
203
00:11:57,330 --> 00:11:58,945
And if it's already off...
204
00:12:02,272 --> 00:12:04,195
I'll just walk away!
205
00:12:06,948 --> 00:12:11,410
Will he get off my back! What is he?
The soldering iron police?
206
00:12:14,075 --> 00:12:15,897
It's off...
207
00:12:16,062 --> 00:12:18,564
that means I turn it... on...
208
00:12:18,893 --> 00:12:20,882
and just walk away!
209
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,154
Oh four! I mean five!
210
00:12:54,238 --> 00:12:55,423
I mean fire!
211
00:13:05,143 --> 00:13:07,535
Now let's see what we have here.
212
00:13:08,012 --> 00:13:10,192
"Stand upright."
213
00:13:11,639 --> 00:13:13,161
Now, I can't read it...
214
00:13:13,671 --> 00:13:14,826
Oh, not me!
215
00:13:14,997 --> 00:13:17,190
I am a giddy-goat!
216
00:13:18,696 --> 00:13:19,564
Okay.
217
00:13:19,831 --> 00:13:21,732
"Remove safety clip."
218
00:13:23,339 --> 00:13:25,692
- Don't look at my feet!
- Fire?
219
00:13:26,167 --> 00:13:27,414
Fire...
220
00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:28,821
No...?
221
00:13:30,325 --> 00:13:33,132
"Aim nozzle at base of fire."
222
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:40,681
Oh, that is typical!
223
00:13:42,425 --> 00:13:43,964
Why has it done that?
224
00:13:44,078 --> 00:13:46,089
"Made in Britain"
225
00:13:54,089 --> 00:13:56,654
I'll just put this over here,
with the rest...
226
00:13:56,916 --> 00:13:58,294
of the fire.
227
00:14:04,997 --> 00:14:07,433
011 53... No.
228
00:14:07,641 --> 00:14:09,692
011 huh...
229
00:14:11,231 --> 00:14:14,116
0118 999...
230
00:14:17,033 --> 00:14:18,168
...3!
231
00:14:19,383 --> 00:14:22,189
Hello? Is this the emergency services?
232
00:14:23,169 --> 00:14:25,122
Then which country am I speaking to?
233
00:14:25,427 --> 00:14:27,443
Hello? Hello?
234
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:30,721
I know! Yep.
235
00:14:32,276 --> 00:14:33,240
O kay.
236
00:14:33,978 --> 00:14:35,414
"Subject:..."
237
00:14:35,619 --> 00:14:36,727
"...fire!"
238
00:14:36,912 --> 00:14:38,840
"Dear Sir", stroke, "Madam."
239
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,049
"I'm writing to inform you of a fire
240
00:14:41,076 --> 00:14:43,089
"which has broken out
at the premises of..."
241
00:14:43,178 --> 00:14:44,550
No. That's too formal.
242
00:14:48,886 --> 00:14:51,184
"Dear Sir", stroke, "Madam."
243
00:14:51,463 --> 00:14:53,777
"Fire!", exclamation mark.
244
00:14:54,072 --> 00:14:56,485
"Fire!", exclamation mark.
245
00:14:56,632 --> 00:14:59,136
"Help me!', exclamation mark.
246
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:01,624
"123, Carendon road."
247
00:15:01,803 --> 00:15:04,111
"Looking forward to hearing from you."
248
00:15:04,383 --> 00:15:07,116
"All the best, Maurice Moss."
249
00:15:10,834 --> 00:15:15,075
What are you wearing size 5 shoes for,
woman? You're at least an 8!
250
00:15:15,110 --> 00:15:15,942
Eight?
251
00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:17,204
How dare you?!
252
00:15:17,256 --> 00:15:19,961
That foot is completely mangled.
253
00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:22,418
And the other one's even worse.
254
00:15:22,624 --> 00:15:24,384
You're not wearing these again.
255
00:15:24,439 --> 00:15:26,724
But I threw away my other shoes,
256
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:28,981
what am I supposed to wear?
257
00:15:40,729 --> 00:15:43,139
Hello! Hello!
258
00:15:43,293 --> 00:15:46,165
Do you remember me?
Can I have a go in your machine now?
259
00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:06,051
- Oh hello again!
- Oh hi!
260
00:16:10,814 --> 00:16:14,781
Please thank Yamamoto San
for this fine ceremonial sword.
261
00:16:14,951 --> 00:16:17,693
It is a magnificent symbol
of our new merger.
262
00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:22,234
I am sorry that my gift...
263
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,187
a huge pair of Doc' Martins,
264
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:26,998
is extremely thick and heavy sorts.
265
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,354
It's so poultry in comparison.
266
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,625
Please rest assured
that my cultural advisor will be fired
267
00:16:35,669 --> 00:16:37,549
as soon as this meeting is over.
268
00:16:47,351 --> 00:16:49,374
- These are very heavy shoes.
- Yes.
269
00:16:52,984 --> 00:16:54,892
He feels like... Godzilla!
270
00:16:55,744 --> 00:16:56,484
Does he?
271
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:57,260
Godzilla!
272
00:16:57,294 --> 00:16:59,126
Go on! Stamp your feet!
273
00:16:59,224 --> 00:17:00,576
Clap him man!
274
00:17:00,668 --> 00:17:01,416
Good!
275
00:17:02,733 --> 00:17:04,241
Oh yeah! Godzilla loves it !
276
00:17:04,283 --> 00:17:06,909
Go on! Break something!
277
00:17:10,538 --> 00:17:12,780
Put your weight into it!
278
00:17:14,731 --> 00:17:17,055
You f...... idiot!!
279
00:17:18,831 --> 00:17:20,314
You stupid old f.......
280
00:17:20,744 --> 00:17:22,375
You f....... J..........
281
00:17:22,582 --> 00:17:25,314
and your big m.... shoes!
282
00:17:25,572 --> 00:17:30,585
Oh you're not! You're nothing!
But I f... ....
283
00:17:56,444 --> 00:18:00,746
- I am... so... sorry, Denholm.
- That was quite a tarring Jen.
284
00:18:01,388 --> 00:18:02,597
It would have been even worse
285
00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:05,201
if Paul hadn't been so quick
on the profanity buzzer.
286
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:06,952
Well done, Paul!
287
00:18:06,987 --> 00:18:08,731
You're back on the payroll.
288
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:10,858
As for you... you're fucked up!
289
00:18:11,863 --> 00:18:13,781
Shouting at Japs! Mad feet!
290
00:18:13,890 --> 00:18:15,767
Both classic signs of stress!
291
00:18:15,825 --> 00:18:17,721
And you know how I feel about stress...
292
00:18:18,195 --> 00:18:20,249
Go to your office, and wait for me.
293
00:18:31,012 --> 00:18:34,300
Weirdest thing just happened... Fire!
294
00:18:34,601 --> 00:18:35,786
Fire!
295
00:18:35,924 --> 00:18:37,699
I've sent an e-mail. It's fine!
296
00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:40,465
An e-mail?! It's a fire! Where...
297
00:18:41,383 --> 00:18:43,344
Where is the precinct extinguisher ?
298
00:18:46,896 --> 00:18:50,992
- Made in Britain!
- This is just like the golf incident!
299
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:52,181
You mean the fire incident?
300
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:54,492
I mean the fire incident!
Of course I mean the fire incident!
301
00:18:54,516 --> 00:18:55,504
What have you got there?
302
00:18:55,538 --> 00:18:57,016
Oh I'm in trouble! I'm in real trouble!
303
00:18:57,044 --> 00:18:58,959
Help me get my shoes on!
I gotta get my shoes on!
304
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,747
Help me get my shoes on
before Denholm comes!
305
00:19:00,775 --> 00:19:01,933
- Denholm's coming?
- Yeah.
306
00:19:01,944 --> 00:19:03,681
And he's got a... fire! Fire! Fire!
307
00:19:04,587 --> 00:19:07,063
I've taken care of it.
308
00:19:07,077 --> 00:19:09,523
I have to say I feel a little bit
insulted
309
00:19:09,541 --> 00:19:11,489
by the lack of faith you both display.
310
00:19:11,512 --> 00:19:13,176
What happened to your feet?
311
00:19:13,202 --> 00:19:13,993
What is this?
312
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,637
I think a fire in the office
313
00:19:15,683 --> 00:19:18,292
demands a little more attention
than my feet, don't you?
314
00:19:18,309 --> 00:19:20,356
How... how did you get
the stress machine Roy?
315
00:19:20,444 --> 00:19:22,366
I... don't really know.
316
00:19:22,483 --> 00:19:25,432
Met Dr. Holmes by the lift.
317
00:19:25,509 --> 00:19:27,818
Wasn't he nice?
I thought he was a lovely man.
318
00:19:27,843 --> 00:19:29,452
Yes I thought he was a delight.
319
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:34,639
But I met him there by the lift,
and he just went... mental!
320
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:39,746
And one thing led to another
and I just... stole it!
321
00:19:40,156 --> 00:19:42,455
- You stole it...
- Yeah!
322
00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:44,775
But that's stealing!
323
00:19:45,596 --> 00:19:46,403
Yeah!
324
00:19:46,569 --> 00:19:49,624
Didn't know what a stress machine was
this morning and now we have 2 of them.
325
00:19:49,682 --> 00:19:51,860
I hate to remind everyone but
326
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,113
I've just destroyed a merger
327
00:19:53,114 --> 00:19:55,093
that probably took hundreds of years
to set up,
328
00:19:55,189 --> 00:19:57,687
the office is on fire,
Denholm is furious, so
329
00:19:57,715 --> 00:19:59,750
could we please concentrate
on what's important,
330
00:19:59,930 --> 00:20:02,178
and help me out with my shoes!
331
00:20:02,278 --> 00:20:03,870
That could get you into trouble!
332
00:20:04,788 --> 00:20:05,894
Empty!
333
00:20:07,617 --> 00:20:08,944
Got a little bit there!
334
00:20:09,634 --> 00:20:12,050
Oh quick! No, no! Quick, no!
335
00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:13,714
These are a size 5...
336
00:20:13,849 --> 00:20:15,587
What are you, eight and a half?
337
00:20:15,651 --> 00:20:16,840
Shut up!
338
00:20:17,012 --> 00:20:18,562
- Come on!
- I'm pushing!
339
00:20:18,599 --> 00:20:20,418
Push it! Oh don't let me push you away!
340
00:20:20,425 --> 00:20:22,322
- Is it in?
- Come on!
341
00:20:22,366 --> 00:20:24,030
Push hard guy!
342
00:20:26,563 --> 00:20:28,293
The heel went right through!
343
00:20:28,309 --> 00:20:30,535
Oh my God it hurts so much!
344
00:20:31,620 --> 00:20:34,099
- Oh now, I'm bleeding!
- Jen!
345
00:20:34,771 --> 00:20:36,400
- Where are you Jen?
- It's Denholm!
346
00:20:36,508 --> 00:20:37,568
What?
347
00:20:38,432 --> 00:20:40,270
Hide the stress machine!
348
00:20:40,353 --> 00:20:42,903
The stress machine?
What about the fire?!
349
00:20:42,943 --> 00:20:45,168
Ok! Put the stress machine
in Jen's room!
350
00:20:45,183 --> 00:20:47,122
- He'll never go in there!
- But what if he does?
351
00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:48,851
It doesn't matter!
He won't know what it is!
352
00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:50,644
I can't go to prison Roy!
353
00:20:50,723 --> 00:20:52,471
They'll rape the flip out of me!
354
00:20:56,374 --> 00:20:58,102
You! Stall him by the door!
355
00:20:58,134 --> 00:20:59,683
I stall... How?
356
00:20:59,745 --> 00:21:01,421
I don't know! Use your womanly ways!
357
00:21:01,488 --> 00:21:04,167
Ok Moss! Pass me that monitor screen.
The broken one.
358
00:21:07,237 --> 00:21:08,264
There you are!
359
00:21:08,931 --> 00:21:09,774
Hello there!
360
00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:12,193
It's no use being womanly with me Jen!
361
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:13,954
You're in big trouble!
362
00:21:15,861 --> 00:21:16,782
Nice screensaver!
363
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:21,071
Thank you.
364
00:21:25,375 --> 00:21:26,654
A stress machine!
365
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:28,282
Just what we need!
366
00:21:28,841 --> 00:21:30,210
Roll up your sleeves, Jen.
367
00:21:30,386 --> 00:21:31,582
Let's get this over with.
368
00:21:34,188 --> 00:21:36,787
It's a one way ticket
to slammer town for us Roy.
369
00:21:36,842 --> 00:21:38,383
With no return ticket!
370
00:21:41,074 --> 00:21:44,504
I really am losing quite a lot of blood!
371
00:21:44,657 --> 00:21:46,449
You understand this is your last chance?
372
00:21:46,648 --> 00:21:48,070
If the needle goes beyond here...
373
00:21:48,202 --> 00:21:49,474
you will be fired!
374
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:51,995
Does that make you feel stressed?
375
00:21:52,405 --> 00:21:54,133
Jen! Does it?
376
00:21:54,349 --> 00:21:55,689
No? Are you sure?
377
00:21:55,852 --> 00:21:56,737
Are you sure?
378
00:21:57,110 --> 00:21:58,057
Are you sure?
379
00:21:58,296 --> 00:21:59,128
Are you sure?
380
00:21:59,419 --> 00:22:00,313
Are you sure?
381
00:22:00,649 --> 00:22:01,570
Are you sure?
382
00:22:01,828 --> 00:22:02,764
Are you sure?
383
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:04,054
Are you sure?
384
00:22:04,234 --> 00:22:05,188
Are you sure?
385
00:22:05,423 --> 00:22:06,556
Are you sure?
386
00:22:06,653 --> 00:22:07,676
Are you sure?
387
00:22:07,883 --> 00:22:08,865
Are you sure?
388
00:22:08,962 --> 00:22:10,482
I'll level with you Roy.
389
00:22:10,552 --> 00:22:13,165
I don't think I'd flourish
in a prison environment.
390
00:22:15,061 --> 00:22:16,854
Could I try on your new glasses?
391
00:22:18,172 --> 00:22:19,554
See this balloon, Jen?
392
00:22:20,024 --> 00:22:21,434
I'm gonna burst it.
393
00:22:21,628 --> 00:22:23,135
But I'm not gonna tell you when...
394
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:27,075
Do you feel stressed Jen? Jen? Jen?
395
00:22:27,208 --> 00:22:28,124
Look at that!
396
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:30,985
That's your peace of mind!
397
00:22:31,082 --> 00:22:32,401
And it's gonna go bang!
398
00:22:33,533 --> 00:22:35,267
Do you feel stress now, Jen?
399
00:22:35,385 --> 00:22:35,872
Jen!
400
00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:41,110
Jen! Jen! Do you?!
401
00:22:42,685 --> 00:22:43,930
Evidently not.
402
00:22:45,312 --> 00:22:46,885
Well done Jen!
403
00:22:47,230 --> 00:22:49,269
You're not being fired by me...
404
00:22:49,477 --> 00:22:50,946
at this precise moment.
405
00:22:56,095 --> 00:22:59,008
I love the way the smoke
seems to be coming off the top of it.
406
00:23:01,553 --> 00:23:02,914
Just a second...
407
00:23:05,463 --> 00:23:06,824
I'm late for golf!
408
00:23:14,094 --> 00:23:16,321
I wonder why it didn't work...
409
00:23:17,908 --> 00:23:20,271
"Made In Britain"
410
00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:24,960
I don't know if it's the loss of blood
411
00:23:24,981 --> 00:23:28,991
or the melting plastic from the monitor
but I feel great!
412
00:23:31,626 --> 00:23:35,514
It's so ironic but this entire situation
has been quite stressful.
413
00:23:37,307 --> 00:23:38,604
I'll get help...
414
00:23:41,675 --> 00:23:44,295
You sent an e-mail about a fire?
26773
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