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1
00:01:10,083 --> 00:01:17,457
Written by MarineSWS (for the Cantonese version)
1.1
00:01:18,083 --> 00:01:19,457
Why does it take so long ready?
2
00:01:19,625 --> 00:01:21,374
Hurry up! Do you want to be punished?
3
00:01:27,625 --> 00:01:28,790
Unicorn
4
00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:30,749
Your Majesty.
5
00:01:31,416 --> 00:01:33,207
Why aren't they here yet?
6
00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:51,124
Great move, Your Majesty.
7
00:01:51,458 --> 00:01:54,624
Come and help.
8
00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:58,957
Grab the chicken...come on...
9
00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:06,832
Madam is here.
10
00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,332
so finally she has come.
11
00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:12,415
Good evening, Your Majesty.
12
00:02:12,583 --> 00:02:15,040
I have been waiting for you for a long time.
13
00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:24,624
Honey, shouldn't you shave your face?
14
00:02:24,791 --> 00:02:27,915
Your beard hurts me.
15
00:02:28,375 --> 00:02:29,915
I did shave it this morning,
16
00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:31,790
but as Your Majesty has noticed,
it has grown back.
17
00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:34,749
What can I do?
18
00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:37,790
Well...I got a beard too.
19
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,874
It's a tie then.
20
00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:43,582
Yes, Your Majesty.
Let's go to the bedroom.
21
00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,457
There are so many beautiful concubines
in the palace.
22
00:02:47,708 --> 00:02:51,832
Why does His Majesty always choose
the ugly Madam?
23
00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:55,874
The Empress chooses her for His Majesty.
24
00:02:56,083 --> 00:02:59,957
so His Majesty only knows two women.
25
00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:05,290
And the Empress would be the most beautiful one.
26
00:03:10,375 --> 00:03:14,499
Your Highness, the magic mirror from Japan has arrived.
27
00:03:16,041 --> 00:03:17,832
Ha...
28
00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:32,749
Honey, why do you always eat first?
29
00:03:33,041 --> 00:03:34,957
Your Majesty, don't be mad at me.
30
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,915
I'll chop off your head, bastard.
31
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:41,749
Royal Secret Guards, help!
32
00:03:42,458 --> 00:03:43,915
Royal Secret Guards are here.
33
00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:47,457
Royal Dragon
34
00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:48,540
Royal Rabbit
35
00:03:49,166 --> 00:03:50,249
Royal Snake
36
00:03:50,583 --> 00:03:51,540
Royal Tiger
37
00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:19,707
Who send you here?
38
00:05:38,083 --> 00:05:39,082
Go!
39
00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:42,082
see, my Royal Secret Guards...
40
00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:47,332
protect me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
41
00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:49,582
Are you sure?
42
00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:51,249
What did you say?
43
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,332
Japanese.
44
00:05:53,541 --> 00:05:55,457
How come you can speak Japanese?
45
00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:57,832
Because...
46
00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:01,707
Help!
47
00:06:01,958 --> 00:06:03,624
All your Royal Secret Guards are gone.
48
00:06:03,958 --> 00:06:04,957
Wrong.
49
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,374
There is one left.
50
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,624
Help!
51
00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:10,499
Don't worry, Your Majesty.
52
00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:13,207
I am coming.
53
00:06:28,291 --> 00:06:29,165
What is this?
54
00:06:29,375 --> 00:06:31,540
It's the Golden Lock, my new invention.
55
00:06:31,708 --> 00:06:33,499
Beat him up... Yes, Your Majesty.
56
00:06:33,708 --> 00:06:35,332
As a Royal Secret Guard,
57
00:06:35,583 --> 00:06:37,165
I am now putting you under arrest.
58
00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:39,290
You have the right to remain silent,
but whatever you say...
59
00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:42,165
will be used as evidence in court.
60
00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:53,207
What is this then?
61
00:06:53,375 --> 00:06:54,624
That's our famous. . .
62
00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:56,124
...human shield.
63
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,707
We enjoyed putting it in public toilets
to scare people.
64
00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:01,207
It can be used as a weapon, too.
65
00:07:08,583 --> 00:07:10,749
I am going to get him, Your Majesty.
66
00:07:10,958 --> 00:07:14,124
Madam, this magic mirror
can answer any question you ask of it.
67
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:18,415
Magic mirror, tell me who is the most
beautiful woman in the world?
68
00:07:18,625 --> 00:07:22,082
Your Highness, it's you of course.
69
00:07:22,458 --> 00:07:23,707
Really?
70
00:07:28,166 --> 00:07:29,540
No. Just kidding.
71
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:30,874
What did you say?
72
00:07:33,416 --> 00:07:35,124
Hit me? You wanna die?
73
00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:37,540
What's up? Robbery!
74
00:07:42,916 --> 00:07:45,290
My goodness!
75
00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:47,957
Help!
76
00:07:59,708 --> 00:08:01,915
sorry for coming so late, Your Highness.
77
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:04,332
Give him a beating.
78
00:08:06,416 --> 00:08:07,790
Let me.
79
00:08:08,916 --> 00:08:12,040
You bastard, you ruined everything.
80
00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:15,749
I am gonna beat you to death.
81
00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,040
How come you run so fast?
82
00:08:34,958 --> 00:08:37,499
It's high enough, I am gonna let go.
83
00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:45,165
Thanks.
84
00:08:45,416 --> 00:08:48,165
Royal Dog is really awesome,
Brother you are so cool.
85
00:08:49,875 --> 00:08:51,207
Be careful.
86
00:08:51,416 --> 00:08:52,749
I got it.
87
00:09:13,083 --> 00:09:15,374
You'll better disarm and surrender.
88
00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:17,290
Or I will use force.
89
00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:22,915
Whistling for help?
90
00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:37,582
Again.
91
00:09:39,916 --> 00:09:42,915
Bastard, I need to use the cannon.
92
00:09:57,333 --> 00:09:59,040
Look.
93
00:10:19,916 --> 00:10:23,249
Our warriors died for our country.
94
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,249
Eternal umbrella!
95
00:10:27,916 --> 00:10:29,749
Not dead yet.
96
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:34,957
Hi!
97
00:10:40,208 --> 00:10:42,040
Royal Secret Guards...
98
00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:46,249
love to drink Girlie's Red Wine.
99
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:49,082
Girlie's Red Wine? What is the matter?
100
00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:50,624
Your Majesty, Girlie's Red...
101
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:53,249
is the company which sponsors
Royal Dog's scientific research.
102
00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:56,249
The Eternal umbrella is made with their money.
103
00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:59,207
I hate product placements in movies.
104
00:10:59,416 --> 00:11:00,124
Execute them!
105
00:11:00,291 --> 00:11:02,249
Yes. Your Majesty!
106
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:08,832
Royal Rat
107
00:11:09,208 --> 00:11:10,499
Your Majesty.
108
00:11:13,375 --> 00:11:14,957
Your Majesty wants to know...
109
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:18,249
where did you go last night?
110
00:11:18,458 --> 00:11:20,624
I...
111
00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:22,457
Royal Rat.
112
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:26,790
You have been practising
the "Mighty Iron Body" kung-fu, right?
113
00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:29,582
In case His Majesty is under attack,
114
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:33,124
then you must use your Mighty Iron Body
to shield His Majesty!
115
00:11:33,583 --> 00:11:36,957
Last night, you were still practising,
116
00:11:37,166 --> 00:11:38,874
so you didn't shield His Majesty, right?
117
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,624
Yes, Your Majesty.
118
00:11:40,791 --> 00:11:44,290
I guess that he went to the brothel last night
instead of practising kung-fu.
119
00:11:44,541 --> 00:11:47,790
Yeah, why have they got clouds over their heads?
120
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:52,374
Come on, let's drink...
121
00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:55,624
Royal Rat has been such a loyal servant.
122
00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:59,624
You will be rewarded
with a thousand taels of gold,
123
00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:01,249
500 taels should be enough.
124
00:12:02,791 --> 00:12:06,040
Your Majesty, the other 500 taels,
how about split it among us...
125
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:07,457
as our reward?
126
00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:10,624
Last night, Royal Dog and Royal Tiger
had worked hard to protect His Majesty.
127
00:12:10,916 --> 00:12:14,040
You two tell me how the money should be divided.
128
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,915
I just want to show Your Majesty
my new invention.
129
00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:18,749
Another new invention?
130
00:12:18,916 --> 00:12:21,415
Okay, show it to me.
131
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,749
Your Majesty, this is my new invention...
132
00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:25,499
that will give you full protection.
133
00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:26,499
It's the impenetrable...
134
00:12:26,791 --> 00:12:28,290
Transformer armour.
135
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:33,957
With this armour,
even if all 12 of us are killed,
136
00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:35,207
no one can. . .
137
00:12:35,541 --> 00:12:36,832
...hurt you.
138
00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:39,040
Really?
139
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:40,332
Yes, Your Majesty.
140
00:12:40,541 --> 00:12:41,624
The beauty of this armour is that...
141
00:12:41,916 --> 00:12:43,415
even a person who doesn't know kung-fu,
142
00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:45,915
when he wears this,
he will become a great kung-fu master.
143
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:48,415
No one can stop him.
144
00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:50,957
Let me try this on...
145
00:12:53,458 --> 00:12:55,374
How does it feel, Your Majesty?
146
00:12:55,583 --> 00:12:58,415
It looks great, but it's too heavy.
147
00:12:58,625 --> 00:13:01,040
I can hardly walk at all. How could I fight?
148
00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:04,874
Your Majesty, with this armour,
you don't have to fight at all.
149
00:13:05,041 --> 00:13:08,165
What are you doing? Be respectful.
150
00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:12,165
Your Majesty, when you turn this spring,
151
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,624
it will move on its own.
152
00:13:14,958 --> 00:13:16,207
How does it feel, Your Majesty?
153
00:13:16,375 --> 00:13:17,582
A bit itchy.
154
00:13:18,166 --> 00:13:20,915
Your Majesty, I will try harder.
155
00:13:24,083 --> 00:13:27,374
After wearing the helmet,
you are ready to fight, Your Majesty.
156
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:30,874
Let's go.
157
00:13:38,458 --> 00:13:40,832
That's fun...
158
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:51,874
Royal Dog, what other functions does it have?
159
00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:54,874
Press the right button and Your Majesty can fly.
160
00:13:59,833 --> 00:14:01,749
Fly...that's awesome. I fly. . .
161
00:14:12,291 --> 00:14:13,874
It works.
162
00:14:14,958 --> 00:14:19,290
Fly...
163
00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:22,624
How does he come down?
164
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:27,499
Royal Dog, I felt dizzy. How can I come down?
165
00:14:27,791 --> 00:14:29,749
Well, to descend from the sky...
166
00:14:29,916 --> 00:14:32,332
I haven't figured that out yet, Your Majesty.
167
00:14:32,541 --> 00:14:35,790
Never mind, I guess Your Majesty
can bump against something and come down.
168
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:38,874
You're dead, Royal Dog, as soon as I come down.
169
00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:43,874
Royal Dog is in big trouble this time.
170
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:45,332
His Majesty is coming this way.
171
00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:53,249
What a narrow escape!
172
00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:06,249
Oh no...
173
00:15:10,791 --> 00:15:12,290
Oh my armour...
174
00:15:13,916 --> 00:15:15,790
Your Majesty, my brother is just self-indulgent.
175
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,415
He doesn't mean to do you any harm.
176
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,290
And my brother has always been a weakling.
177
00:15:19,541 --> 00:15:21,165
He will die if Your Majesty
keeps hitting him like that.
178
00:15:21,416 --> 00:15:23,540
Please pardon him, Your Majesty.
179
00:15:23,791 --> 00:15:25,332
His butt hurts, right?
180
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,040
Flip him over.
181
00:15:27,541 --> 00:15:30,624
The 500 taels of gold reward
will be confiscated...
182
00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:33,707
and every one of you
will be deducted 3 months' salary too.
183
00:15:51,541 --> 00:15:54,665
Am I seeing ghosts?
184
00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:03,624
Don't frighten me !
185
00:16:03,708 --> 00:16:05,290
I am here.
186
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:08,749
I don't mind you coming to see me,
187
00:16:08,958 --> 00:16:12,874
but why show up in the middle
of the night and scare the hell out of me?
188
00:16:13,541 --> 00:16:15,374
What are you doing here, Faithfull?
189
00:16:15,625 --> 00:16:17,540
I come here to do your laundry.
190
00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:21,957
What laundry?
191
00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:26,624
You always let those punks do your laundry.
192
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:28,457
How can they do it well?
193
00:16:28,625 --> 00:16:31,374
Although I am just your fiancee,
194
00:16:31,583 --> 00:16:33,332
I am willing to do your laundry.
195
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:36,165
I have no objection
to your doing my laundry, just...
196
00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:38,832
your parents oppose our marriage.
197
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,499
If I marry you,
198
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,874
they will bring me trouble.
199
00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:44,957
I am not scared though.
200
00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:49,124
What is this smell?
201
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,290
Tell me, are you having affairs with other girls?
202
00:16:53,958 --> 00:16:56,374
There are maids in the palace.
203
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,290
It's common for those maids to...
204
00:16:58,541 --> 00:17:02,332
put on make-up, right?
205
00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:07,040
I like you because your thinking...
206
00:17:07,291 --> 00:17:10,124
is different from others. You are smart.
207
00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:13,624
A few days ago,
you beat the assassins with rockets,
208
00:17:13,875 --> 00:17:16,540
everyone in the market is talking about it.
209
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,832
Faithfull, if you are done with the laundry,
210
00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:21,374
please go home.
211
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:23,082
If your parents know you are here,
212
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,290
they will rough me up.
213
00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:28,207
Don't be afraid, my kung-fu is better than them.
214
00:17:28,541 --> 00:17:29,624
I can protect you.
215
00:17:29,875 --> 00:17:30,624
Really?
216
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:31,707
No way.
217
00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:33,915
see, a daughter will always put...
218
00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:37,332
her husband before her parents
after she gets married.
219
00:17:37,583 --> 00:17:39,957
Auntie, uncle, this is my place.
220
00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:41,499
This is not your place.
221
00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:42,915
Will you please knock before barging in?
222
00:17:43,125 --> 00:17:44,374
We're used to barge in like this. Right.
223
00:17:44,625 --> 00:17:47,040
Otherwise how can I find you
get naked and corrupt my daughter?
224
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,082
How could you say that?
225
00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:51,957
It's your daughter who barged
in while I was bathing.
226
00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:53,499
Are you saying that she saw you naked...
227
00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:55,790
and she got horny and tried to rape you?
228
00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,707
Exactly.
229
00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:00,499
Mom and dad, are you done?
230
00:18:00,708 --> 00:18:03,540
You are still young.
I am worried that you'll be cheated.
231
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,790
We are already engaged since birth.
I don't mind being cheated.
232
00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:09,749
Baby, we won't force you to marry him.
233
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:11,499
But I want to marry him.
234
00:18:11,708 --> 00:18:14,040
People will say that we are too autocratic.
235
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:16,415
Anyone who dares to say that, I will beat him up.
236
00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:18,124
The son of Master Yin is handsome.
237
00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:19,499
The son of General Hau is a nice fellow too.
238
00:18:19,708 --> 00:18:21,290
He's so damn rich.
239
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,957
Look at him, he's as poor as a church mouse.
240
00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:25,624
He'll be a wretched fellow his whole life.
241
00:18:25,875 --> 00:18:28,040
Auntie, uncle, please mind your words.
242
00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:30,249
I say what I think. So what?
243
00:18:33,041 --> 00:18:34,790
Auntie, uncle,
please don't force me to fight against you.
244
00:18:34,958 --> 00:18:35,790
Force your hand?
245
00:18:35,958 --> 00:18:37,874
I am gonna beat you up, you punk...
246
00:18:38,041 --> 00:18:38,915
Come on over if you dare.
247
00:18:39,125 --> 00:18:40,499
Let me go.
248
00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:43,249
You good for nothing punk.
We are here, how's that?
249
00:18:43,291 --> 00:18:44,749
Don't you dare stay here and not move.
250
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:45,790
Okay, we won't move then.
251
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,332
Whatever happens, you won't move.
252
00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:48,582
Of course.
253
00:18:48,916 --> 00:18:49,957
I won't move anyway.
254
00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:51,499
Just don't move then.
255
00:18:51,625 --> 00:18:53,915
Don't move! Let me tell you...
Okay, how's that?
256
00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:54,749
Really?
257
00:18:54,958 --> 00:18:57,749
If you guys don't move, I can't do anything.
258
00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:05,624
What are you doing?
259
00:19:05,791 --> 00:19:07,249
Come and take a look...
260
00:19:07,791 --> 00:19:08,790
This one is wonderful.
261
00:19:08,958 --> 00:19:11,540
Do you know the air we breathe
in are mostly useless gases,
262
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,624
except one useful gas calls "oxygen".
263
00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:17,624
According to the Western scholars,
2 units of certain elements...
264
00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:20,249
together with 1 unit of this "oxygen"
will combine into water.
265
00:19:20,458 --> 00:19:22,374
smell it.
266
00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,249
Do you smell that? Isn't it refreshing...
267
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:28,749
smell again, you will feel great.
268
00:19:28,958 --> 00:19:31,290
Yes, it feels great.
269
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:35,332
You don't have to hit me though.
270
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:37,957
The most wonderful thing is that...
271
00:19:38,375 --> 00:19:39,790
it will make the fire burn brighter.
272
00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:42,374
I am still working on it.
273
00:19:45,958 --> 00:19:47,165
Honey.
274
00:19:49,125 --> 00:19:52,332
We are not kids anymore,
275
00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:53,624
should we...
276
00:19:53,791 --> 00:19:55,499
Faithfull, if you want to say anything,
277
00:19:55,708 --> 00:19:57,207
please write it down and put it there.
278
00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:59,374
I will read it after the experiment.
279
00:20:02,208 --> 00:20:03,332
A few days ago, a friend of mine,
280
00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:06,707
brought me some liquid which can clean our hairs.
281
00:20:06,958 --> 00:20:09,749
I just can't use it without...
282
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,957
understanding what it consists of. Right?
283
00:20:12,208 --> 00:20:13,957
If someone uses it and his hairs become dry or...
284
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:15,540
oily, or he gets dandruff...
285
00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:17,957
I would blame myself also.
286
00:20:18,208 --> 00:20:19,540
But my hairs look like this...
287
00:20:19,708 --> 00:20:21,207
after using this liquid.
288
00:20:21,541 --> 00:20:22,832
If you use this,
289
00:20:23,083 --> 00:20:24,707
your hairs will look like mine too.
290
00:20:58,166 --> 00:20:59,957
He is so late, it is already well past midday.
291
00:21:01,041 --> 00:21:02,457
Damn it!
292
00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:09,624
With my looks,
I don't believe no one will fall for me.
293
00:21:12,083 --> 00:21:14,249
I am gonna dump him.
294
00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:18,290
Handsome guy!
295
00:21:19,166 --> 00:21:20,790
Wanna have lunch with me?
296
00:21:21,166 --> 00:21:23,457
It's so disgusting. Leave her alone.
297
00:21:23,791 --> 00:21:24,790
Let's go.
298
00:21:28,916 --> 00:21:31,874
You made me lose face, I am gonna kill you.
299
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,249
I am so mad.
300
00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:45,707
Are you okay, miss?
301
00:21:46,625 --> 00:21:47,915
I am fine.
302
00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:49,624
Let's go!
303
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:55,415
There's a handsome guy.
304
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:18,290
Bro, what's wrong with that girl?
305
00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:19,832
Don't be nosy.
306
00:22:20,041 --> 00:22:21,624
Waiter. Yes.
307
00:22:21,833 --> 00:22:24,165
3 dishes and a soup, please hurry.
308
00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:28,499
Alright, how about deep fried spareribs,
braised chicken,
309
00:22:28,791 --> 00:22:31,874
boneless fish and soup of the day.
310
00:22:31,916 --> 00:22:33,040
What do you think?
311
00:22:34,541 --> 00:22:37,624
As the dishes are ready, let's eat then.
312
00:22:48,208 --> 00:22:49,332
Fight!
313
00:23:00,916 --> 00:23:04,124
Great move!
314
00:23:10,375 --> 00:23:11,457
Good!
315
00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:33,374
Stop!
316
00:23:34,291 --> 00:23:37,457
You scums, you couldn't even beat two punks .
317
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,790
No meals for you guys today.
318
00:23:40,458 --> 00:23:42,707
Are you the children of Mr. Yuen?
319
00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:46,457
Every one is Mr. Yuen's child.
He loved the people like his own children.
320
00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:50,082
Young people are stubborn.
321
00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:04,707
This eunuch is a superb kung-fu master.
322
00:24:04,916 --> 00:24:07,165
They are not his equal,
they will be dead for sure.
323
00:24:58,458 --> 00:24:59,582
Its so powerful!
324
00:25:19,875 --> 00:25:23,332
Let's meet up tomorrow lunch.
325
00:25:27,250 --> 00:25:28,874
What a potent poison.
326
00:25:29,583 --> 00:25:32,249
I have to drive the poison out for him.
327
00:25:35,166 --> 00:25:36,915
But unmarried men and women
must not touch each other.
328
00:25:37,125 --> 00:25:40,207
If I take off his clothes,
I will be looked upon as a slut...
329
00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:45,040
Let me pass my "life-force"
to him through the mouth.
330
00:25:48,083 --> 00:25:50,040
Am I out of my mind?
331
00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:51,957
I am still a virgin.
332
00:25:52,125 --> 00:25:54,874
If I kiss his mouth,
then I will have to marry him.
333
00:25:59,833 --> 00:26:03,540
But he is so handsome.
Marrying him is not a bad idea.
334
00:26:03,708 --> 00:26:06,165
Alright, then!
335
00:26:11,125 --> 00:26:13,415
No way!
336
00:26:18,708 --> 00:26:22,790
How come he looks so handsome,
but his chest is...
337
00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:24,624
so soft?
338
00:26:26,541 --> 00:26:28,207
He's a girl?
339
00:26:29,625 --> 00:26:31,957
It'll be great if he's a guy.
340
00:26:32,416 --> 00:26:34,457
I will have to heal her.
341
00:26:35,416 --> 00:26:37,957
Honey, you are back?
342
00:26:38,583 --> 00:26:40,290
I am back.
343
00:26:42,291 --> 00:26:44,832
I am so exhausted. I need to sleep.
344
00:26:45,916 --> 00:26:48,165
We are going to sleep too.
345
00:26:51,041 --> 00:26:53,832
Mom and dad, I am getting changed.
346
00:26:54,041 --> 00:26:55,582
Did you hide a guy on your bed?
347
00:26:55,791 --> 00:26:57,040
Of course not.
348
00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,790
show it to me.
349
00:26:59,958 --> 00:27:01,749
Who dares to get on my bed?
350
00:27:02,041 --> 00:27:03,207
Is it that punk?
351
00:27:03,416 --> 00:27:04,165
Royal Dog?
352
00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:06,374
I have dumped him a long time ago.
353
00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:07,707
That's good.
354
00:27:08,458 --> 00:27:10,249
I'd like to sleep with you tonight.
355
00:27:10,416 --> 00:27:12,040
Mom, you are getting REAL fat lately.
356
00:27:12,208 --> 00:27:14,332
We can't sleep in this bed together.
357
00:27:15,166 --> 00:27:16,624
That punk must be on the bed.
358
00:27:16,833 --> 00:27:17,290
No.
359
00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:19,124
Yes. No.
360
00:27:19,333 --> 00:27:20,749
I swear that if he's here,
I will put on 10 catty each day.
361
00:27:20,916 --> 00:27:22,249
But if he's not here,
you will get 10 years older each day.
362
00:27:22,416 --> 00:27:23,624
If he's here, you'll have to listen to me.
363
00:27:23,833 --> 00:27:25,624
If he's not here, you'll have to listen to me too.
364
00:27:25,833 --> 00:27:28,624
That's the deal. That's the deal.
365
00:27:28,833 --> 00:27:30,165
Auntie, uncle.
366
00:27:32,916 --> 00:27:34,165
Why are you here?
367
00:27:34,958 --> 00:27:38,707
Mom, you have to listen to me from now on.
368
00:27:40,541 --> 00:27:41,957
I come to apologize to Faithfull.
369
00:27:42,250 --> 00:27:44,415
she won't forgive you.
370
00:27:44,625 --> 00:27:47,040
Even if she does, I won't forgive you anyway.
371
00:27:47,625 --> 00:27:49,624
Uncle, I am a straight talking guy.
372
00:27:49,833 --> 00:27:51,415
Please forgive me,
373
00:27:51,625 --> 00:27:52,957
if I say something to offend you.
374
00:27:53,166 --> 00:27:55,707
I can do that. I will not get upset easily.
375
00:27:55,916 --> 00:27:58,624
Uncle, you are so mean and nasty.
376
00:27:58,875 --> 00:28:00,915
I don't care if you don't forgive me.
377
00:28:01,208 --> 00:28:04,040
Faithfull is so nice to me,
I don't want to upset her.
378
00:28:04,958 --> 00:28:06,249
What do you want?
379
00:28:19,041 --> 00:28:22,790
Thanks for saving me. Why did you laugh
with tears flowing down your face?
380
00:28:22,958 --> 00:28:25,790
My fiance is confessing his love, keep quiet.
381
00:28:25,958 --> 00:28:28,249
Uncle, didn't you say you
will not easily get upset?
382
00:28:28,541 --> 00:28:29,790
I am not upset...
383
00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:32,207
I am very very upset.
384
00:28:33,625 --> 00:28:35,624
Miss, will you do me a favour?
385
00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:39,790
Uncle, will you please stop hitting me?
386
00:28:40,083 --> 00:28:41,374
I have a gift for you.
387
00:28:44,875 --> 00:28:46,624
What gift? What is it?
388
00:28:46,875 --> 00:28:47,582
With this,
389
00:28:47,791 --> 00:28:50,165
you don't have to squat in the toilet anymore.
390
00:28:50,416 --> 00:28:52,499
I can lead the water from the mountain to here.
391
00:28:52,750 --> 00:28:54,915
And flush away the excrements.
392
00:28:55,166 --> 00:28:58,207
Going to the toilet will henceforth be
an enjoyment.
393
00:28:58,791 --> 00:28:59,540
How do you call this?
394
00:28:59,708 --> 00:29:00,874
Dragon and Phoenix bucket.
395
00:29:01,041 --> 00:29:01,915
sounds weird.
396
00:29:02,125 --> 00:29:03,540
Then what will you call it?
397
00:29:03,750 --> 00:29:05,290
Hero bucket. Beauty bucket.
398
00:29:05,625 --> 00:29:07,790
It's your invention, just call it Dog bucket.
399
00:29:08,208 --> 00:29:09,457
How about Shit bucket?
400
00:29:09,625 --> 00:29:11,957
You should use a better name.
401
00:29:12,166 --> 00:29:13,415
Just call it commode.
402
00:29:13,625 --> 00:29:15,790
You are great, just call it commode.
403
00:29:16,041 --> 00:29:18,540
Yeah. Right.
404
00:29:20,833 --> 00:29:23,957
How do you do, auntie and uncle?
405
00:29:24,541 --> 00:29:25,749
Who are you?
406
00:29:26,041 --> 00:29:27,957
He's my man.
407
00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:30,499
Honey, do you fool around?
408
00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:34,415
He the prince of Big-Eaters-land,
his name is Brad Pitt.
409
00:29:35,041 --> 00:29:37,040
What?
410
00:29:37,958 --> 00:29:40,957
I fall in love with your daughter at first sight.
411
00:29:41,166 --> 00:29:43,915
I beg uncle and auntie to concur
with our marriage.
412
00:29:46,583 --> 00:29:48,707
Prince.
413
00:29:49,166 --> 00:29:51,040
Faithfull.
414
00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:52,957
You...
415
00:29:53,291 --> 00:29:54,624
I have other suitors.
416
00:29:54,791 --> 00:29:57,415
Even if you don't want me,
I can marry someone else.
417
00:29:58,416 --> 00:30:00,124
That's right.
418
00:30:01,125 --> 00:30:04,707
Your Highness, please treat her...
419
00:30:04,958 --> 00:30:06,749
well.
420
00:30:07,250 --> 00:30:08,624
He's cute.
421
00:30:08,791 --> 00:30:10,832
Don't you mind hurting him so much?
422
00:30:11,041 --> 00:30:13,540
Oh please, of course I mind. It hurts like hell.
423
00:30:13,750 --> 00:30:14,957
But if I don't hurt him,
he won't appreciate how much I love him.
424
00:30:15,291 --> 00:30:16,957
He will think that I am going to stay
with him forever.
425
00:30:19,166 --> 00:30:21,040
Then I'd better go.
426
00:30:23,833 --> 00:30:27,165
I do wish to beat him up, but I can't.
427
00:30:27,291 --> 00:30:29,624
A gentleman must control his emotions.
428
00:30:29,833 --> 00:30:33,207
I must not cry, I should smile...
429
00:30:35,541 --> 00:30:38,332
Hey, Royal Dog, you'd better watch out.
430
00:30:38,541 --> 00:30:41,415
Be careful, or you will fall off the mountain.
431
00:30:42,916 --> 00:30:43,915
Don't worry.
432
00:30:44,166 --> 00:30:46,582
I am so damn unlucky that even misfortunes
will stay away from me.
433
00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:47,832
Thanks.
434
00:30:53,416 --> 00:30:55,332
That's pathetic.
435
00:30:57,291 --> 00:30:59,457
You look awful.
436
00:30:59,625 --> 00:31:02,207
You are not a man, why should I care?
437
00:31:02,416 --> 00:31:04,165
Go home and sleep.
438
00:31:08,041 --> 00:31:09,040
That's pathetic...
439
00:31:09,250 --> 00:31:11,874
Brother, if people see you cry like a baby...
That's pathetic...
440
00:31:12,208 --> 00:31:13,874
they won't respect us Royal Secret Guards.
441
00:31:14,625 --> 00:31:15,874
I am deeply hurt, so I cried like a baby.
442
00:31:16,083 --> 00:31:19,415
We are the idols for many palace maids.
443
00:31:19,625 --> 00:31:23,207
Every move of ours can drive them crazy.
444
00:31:23,416 --> 00:31:24,499
Really?
445
00:31:24,750 --> 00:31:26,874
You don't believe me? Come on, bro.
446
00:31:41,625 --> 00:31:42,957
Come on
447
00:32:06,958 --> 00:32:08,124
That's a bit over the top.
448
00:32:08,375 --> 00:32:10,124
Such bad taste.
449
00:32:10,333 --> 00:32:11,624
Come on!
450
00:32:11,791 --> 00:32:14,165
Bro, your crying over a heart-broken
451
00:32:14,375 --> 00:32:15,749
that will make us lose face.
452
00:32:15,958 --> 00:32:18,374
As Royal Secret Guards ,
besides protecting the emperor,
453
00:32:18,625 --> 00:32:20,790
we have to keep the world in peace
and the universe in unison.
454
00:32:21,041 --> 00:32:22,124
Even if a monster from outer space falls down
from the sky,
455
00:32:22,375 --> 00:32:24,332
we will fix that, too.
456
00:32:25,125 --> 00:32:27,290
You look like a monster now.
457
00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:28,540
I can take that.
458
00:32:28,916 --> 00:32:29,915
Let us be frank,
459
00:32:30,208 --> 00:32:32,040
we are just security guards in the palace.
460
00:32:32,250 --> 00:32:35,124
Royal Secret Guards my foot...
Bro, security guards are humans too.
461
00:32:35,375 --> 00:32:37,165
I guess you are suffering
from an inferiority complex
462
00:32:37,458 --> 00:32:38,457
Go to see the imperial doctor.
463
00:32:38,583 --> 00:32:40,499
The imperial doctor won't give a damn about us.
464
00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:42,582
Just go have a herbal drink.
It will also cure you.
465
00:32:42,875 --> 00:32:43,790
Go...
466
00:32:43,958 --> 00:32:45,874
I better go home and take a bath.
467
00:32:47,750 --> 00:32:49,707
Assassin! Fetch our buddies, go!
468
00:32:52,166 --> 00:32:54,915
There...
469
00:32:58,041 --> 00:32:59,790
Your Highness, I am Royal Tiger.
470
00:32:59,958 --> 00:33:02,165
It's okay, it's the Royal Secret Guards.
471
00:33:22,041 --> 00:33:23,290
Enjoy watching it?
472
00:33:24,500 --> 00:33:26,165
Of course.
473
00:33:26,750 --> 00:33:29,457
so gorgeous; so charming...
474
00:33:29,625 --> 00:33:31,457
so beautiful; so bewitching...
475
00:33:31,750 --> 00:33:34,249
No words can truly describe the beauty
of Your Highness.
476
00:33:37,333 --> 00:33:41,749
No wonder Mom told me that all men are liars.
477
00:33:42,250 --> 00:33:43,332
Please forgive me Your Highness.
478
00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:46,582
I am not being frivolous.
479
00:33:47,083 --> 00:33:50,124
Your Highness, I see someone enter the palace.
480
00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:51,874
This place is not safe.
481
00:33:52,083 --> 00:33:54,707
Your Highness, please go back to your chamber.
482
00:33:54,916 --> 00:33:57,915
You are the best of the Royal Secret Guards.
483
00:33:58,375 --> 00:34:01,624
I should be safe with you around, right?
484
00:34:01,833 --> 00:34:04,499
I will give up my life to protect Your Highness.
485
00:34:05,166 --> 00:34:06,499
It's okay!
486
00:34:08,541 --> 00:34:10,790
Get up, stay and have a chat with me.
487
00:34:22,166 --> 00:34:25,249
I never expect that...
488
00:34:25,458 --> 00:34:27,499
Your Majesty's daughter,
Princess Rainbow, is so popular.
489
00:34:28,291 --> 00:34:30,749
Because she looks like me.
490
00:34:30,958 --> 00:34:34,749
The problem is that the four princes
come at the same time.
491
00:34:34,958 --> 00:34:37,332
Whom should we let her marry?
492
00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:40,332
Who are they?
493
00:34:40,541 --> 00:34:42,040
Prince Nectar from Sindhu.
494
00:34:42,250 --> 00:34:43,457
Prince Falcon from Tazik.
495
00:34:43,750 --> 00:34:45,707
Prince Smart from Izumo.
496
00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:49,124
And Tokugawa Takuya,
the younger son of General Tokugawa from Japan.
497
00:34:49,375 --> 00:34:52,124
Your Majesty, the situation is very delicate.
498
00:34:52,458 --> 00:34:55,957
We must not endanger the good relationship
we have with these countries.
499
00:34:56,125 --> 00:34:58,499
I think so too.
500
00:34:58,833 --> 00:35:02,749
That is why I come to discuss it with you two.
501
00:35:03,583 --> 00:35:05,749
I do have an idea.
502
00:35:05,958 --> 00:35:10,374
Let's hold a competition to decide
who will marry Princess Rainbow.
503
00:35:11,333 --> 00:35:15,749
They must compete with each other.
504
00:35:16,583 --> 00:35:20,790
The winner will be our son-in-law.
505
00:35:21,041 --> 00:35:22,540
That's a good idea.
506
00:35:22,750 --> 00:35:24,957
Your Majesty, give me a million taels
of gold to buy new clothes.
507
00:35:25,250 --> 00:35:26,749
You had already bought
a lot of new clothes yesterday.
508
00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:29,249
Your Majesty, the idea is good.
509
00:35:29,458 --> 00:35:33,082
But the one who comes last...
510
00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:35,957
would feel humiliated.
511
00:35:36,250 --> 00:35:38,374
so I suggest we also send two
of our men to enter the competition.
512
00:35:38,625 --> 00:35:41,790
But they must come last,
so that the princes will not be humiliated.
513
00:35:42,041 --> 00:35:43,457
Yeah...that's a good idea.
514
00:35:43,750 --> 00:35:44,915
That's a better idea than buying new clothes.
515
00:35:45,333 --> 00:35:47,749
What should we call the competition?
516
00:35:47,958 --> 00:35:52,082
How about "Princes Got Talent"?
517
00:35:52,291 --> 00:35:53,707
No, that is not good.
518
00:35:53,875 --> 00:35:56,957
How about "The Idol Prince"?
519
00:35:59,875 --> 00:36:01,499
"Princes Got Talent" is a good name.
520
00:36:01,625 --> 00:36:02,707
"The Idol Prince" is better.
521
00:36:02,958 --> 00:36:03,874
"Princes Got Talent" is the best.
522
00:36:04,041 --> 00:36:05,124
"The Idol Prince" is better than the best.
523
00:36:05,750 --> 00:36:08,249
Why do you have to go against me all the time?
524
00:36:08,458 --> 00:36:10,624
Let's call it the Perfect Husband
of Princess Rainbow Competition!
525
00:36:12,458 --> 00:36:15,290
Perfect Husband of Princess Rainbow?
526
00:36:15,500 --> 00:36:16,540
Great!
527
00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:24,624
Buy new clothes, I need to buy new clothes...
528
00:36:24,875 --> 00:36:26,415
If I don't kill him now,
I won't have another chance.
529
00:36:30,958 --> 00:36:31,957
Looks like an assassin.
530
00:36:32,166 --> 00:36:32,915
Your Majesty, I need to go to the toilet...
531
00:36:33,125 --> 00:36:34,374
Your Majesty, he's gone.
532
00:36:37,583 --> 00:36:40,249
Protect the emperor!
533
00:37:03,833 --> 00:37:05,374
This assassin is a good fighter.
534
00:37:05,541 --> 00:37:07,082
I think Ip Man is a better fighter.
535
00:37:07,875 --> 00:37:08,957
Who is Ip Man?
536
00:37:14,375 --> 00:37:18,957
I let you off yesterday, now you come again?
537
00:37:56,416 --> 00:37:57,624
Heart-protecting armour?
538
00:38:12,250 --> 00:38:16,749
Ducky...l am heart broken.
539
00:38:19,833 --> 00:38:22,874
Iron the clothes, then take a shower again.
540
00:38:23,041 --> 00:38:25,624
Then have a cup of herbal tea, again.
541
00:38:43,625 --> 00:38:45,499
He's got a great body.
542
00:38:45,625 --> 00:38:47,290
What am I thinking?
543
00:38:48,541 --> 00:38:52,249
That assassin flew high and fast.
544
00:38:52,458 --> 00:38:53,957
His kung-fu must be very good...
545
00:38:54,291 --> 00:38:55,582
I have nothing to do with.
546
00:38:55,958 --> 00:38:57,124
You! Dead mouse... What?
547
00:38:57,416 --> 00:39:01,624
Where's spring?
548
00:39:01,833 --> 00:39:04,415
Spring is here.
549
00:39:06,416 --> 00:39:07,540
Bro.
550
00:39:08,625 --> 00:39:12,082
You just told me to catch the assassin.
551
00:39:12,333 --> 00:39:14,332
Why did you become so...
552
00:39:15,416 --> 00:39:17,040
flirtatious all of a sudden?
553
00:39:19,083 --> 00:39:20,332
He has fallen in love.
554
00:39:20,541 --> 00:39:21,832
Are you sure?
555
00:39:22,750 --> 00:39:24,332
This is how he feels to be in love?
556
00:39:24,541 --> 00:39:25,915
Of course, take a look.
557
00:39:26,083 --> 00:39:27,707
If a person does or says revolting things...
558
00:39:27,916 --> 00:39:29,582
but does not feel embarrassed at all,
559
00:39:29,916 --> 00:39:31,582
then he or she is in love.
560
00:39:33,708 --> 00:39:35,957
He's changing too fast though.
561
00:39:39,208 --> 00:39:42,540
Lord Unicorn, it is our honour
to welcome Your Honour here.
562
00:39:42,875 --> 00:39:44,165
Anything I can help?
563
00:39:44,333 --> 00:39:46,124
Catch the assassin.
564
00:39:48,916 --> 00:39:51,707
As Royal Secret Guards,
our mission is to fall in love, no...
565
00:39:51,875 --> 00:39:53,082
to woo the Princess...no...
566
00:39:53,333 --> 00:39:55,332
to protect the emperor against
His Majesty's enemies.
567
00:39:55,708 --> 00:39:57,707
Now Your Honour came here to catch the assassin,
568
00:39:57,875 --> 00:40:00,249
are you accusing us of sheltering the assassin?
569
00:40:00,791 --> 00:40:05,082
It's hard to say. This is a strange world.
570
00:40:05,500 --> 00:40:08,707
I think it is much ado about nothing.
571
00:40:09,375 --> 00:40:12,790
Yes, so what?
572
00:40:12,958 --> 00:40:15,082
Calm down, we are all on the same side.
573
00:40:15,291 --> 00:40:16,499
Hold it, who says you're on my side?
574
00:40:16,708 --> 00:40:18,499
He used to talk in this manner.
575
00:40:18,958 --> 00:40:20,582
He is a sissy. You pig!
576
00:40:22,875 --> 00:40:25,832
The Icy Palm martial art is nothing special.
577
00:40:27,208 --> 00:40:29,124
Just a bit chilly.
578
00:40:59,416 --> 00:41:01,207
Yeah, you don't have.
579
00:41:32,375 --> 00:41:34,040
Bro, watch out!
580
00:41:34,250 --> 00:41:35,582
Who is fighting out there?
581
00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:53,624
Close the door.
582
00:41:57,625 --> 00:41:58,499
Close the windows.
583
00:42:00,458 --> 00:42:01,790
Turn off the light.
584
00:42:03,375 --> 00:42:04,290
Release the dogs.
585
00:42:04,500 --> 00:42:05,915
Huh? That would mean I release myself?
586
00:42:11,583 --> 00:42:14,082
How come I can hear two persons' heartbeats?
587
00:42:35,625 --> 00:42:38,749
The juice of firefly---
even the blind could see that.
588
00:42:38,958 --> 00:42:41,957
You coward, where are you?
589
00:42:42,583 --> 00:42:44,124
There is no one here.
590
00:42:44,375 --> 00:42:46,124
You coward.
591
00:42:51,333 --> 00:42:52,957
You can't beat me.
592
00:42:54,541 --> 00:42:57,749
The mighty stick that can beat
the hell out of you.
593
00:43:00,500 --> 00:43:02,290
Attack me behind my back?
594
00:43:08,083 --> 00:43:11,749
self-ventilating impenetrable armour.
595
00:43:14,208 --> 00:43:16,207
My hand...
596
00:43:21,375 --> 00:43:22,790
Again?
597
00:43:25,958 --> 00:43:27,374
So big?
598
00:43:27,541 --> 00:43:30,332
I will beat the shit out of you.
599
00:43:35,250 --> 00:43:36,624
The Fire Kick.
600
00:43:45,875 --> 00:43:48,790
BBQ Pork Knuckles!
601
00:43:51,750 --> 00:43:54,082
It's done, that's it for today.
602
00:43:55,750 --> 00:43:57,165
Bro.
603
00:43:57,458 --> 00:43:59,082
I not to be blamed for this.
604
00:43:59,875 --> 00:44:01,124
It is your new invention?
605
00:44:01,250 --> 00:44:02,749
Obviously.
606
00:44:03,416 --> 00:44:05,124
I am relieved that you are fine.
607
00:44:05,625 --> 00:44:07,749
Don't worry, I already chased him away.
608
00:44:07,916 --> 00:44:08,874
Why are you so cool?
609
00:44:09,083 --> 00:44:11,957
No, I am not cool.
I am just knowledgeable about science.
610
00:44:12,875 --> 00:44:14,540
Alright, how long are you going
to hug me like this?
611
00:44:14,750 --> 00:44:16,790
Don't move now.
612
00:44:16,958 --> 00:44:17,749
Bro...
613
00:44:17,916 --> 00:44:19,957
Thank you for kicking that old wizard out.
614
00:44:20,125 --> 00:44:22,124
Otherwise, we Royal Secret Guards will lose face.
615
00:44:22,333 --> 00:44:24,707
I am afraid that he will accuse us
of sheltering the assassin.
616
00:44:25,375 --> 00:44:27,707
No, he won't.
617
00:44:27,875 --> 00:44:29,749
He will be ashamed if everybody knows
what happens tonight.
618
00:44:29,958 --> 00:44:30,707
Right!
619
00:44:30,875 --> 00:44:31,874
Assassin!
620
00:44:32,166 --> 00:44:33,332
No...
621
00:44:33,583 --> 00:44:35,540
Brad Pitt?
622
00:44:36,291 --> 00:44:37,749
Why are you coming out from there?
623
00:44:37,916 --> 00:44:39,499
I come here to watch you...
624
00:44:39,750 --> 00:44:40,874
No, I...
625
00:44:41,125 --> 00:44:42,374
I come to see you.
626
00:44:42,583 --> 00:44:43,749
Who is he?
627
00:44:49,958 --> 00:44:52,207
He's the man Faithfull loves.
628
00:44:52,708 --> 00:44:54,707
He's called Brad Pitt.
629
00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:56,207
You are the guy...
630
00:44:58,875 --> 00:45:02,374
Royal Dog,
although I want Faithfull to love me more,
631
00:45:02,708 --> 00:45:04,957
I know now that you also love her deeply.
632
00:45:05,208 --> 00:45:07,374
so we can have a fair duel and see
who wins her heart.
633
00:45:07,583 --> 00:45:09,540
You want to fight, punk?
634
00:45:11,250 --> 00:45:12,707
No violence.
635
00:45:14,125 --> 00:45:17,832
Okay, I accept your challenge.
636
00:45:31,583 --> 00:45:33,124
Who are you?
637
00:45:33,375 --> 00:45:34,874
I am your substitute.
638
00:45:42,458 --> 00:45:43,540
Who are you?
639
00:45:46,458 --> 00:45:49,082
I will use your identity to kill
the Chinese emperor.
640
00:45:49,250 --> 00:45:51,457
I will avenge the death of my buddies.
641
00:45:52,458 --> 00:45:56,165
sister, this is our chance
of staging a coup d'etat.
642
00:45:56,333 --> 00:45:58,832
Why should we stage a coup d'etat?
643
00:45:59,083 --> 00:46:00,332
Haven't you got money? I have a lot.
644
00:46:00,541 --> 00:46:02,165
Have you no woman? I have dozens.
645
00:46:02,333 --> 00:46:04,582
The emperor doesn't have a single penny
in his pocket.
646
00:46:04,750 --> 00:46:05,874
And I am the only woman he has.
647
00:46:06,083 --> 00:46:07,832
He's bullied by me everyday.
648
00:46:10,708 --> 00:46:12,499
I think he's pathetic.
649
00:46:12,708 --> 00:46:14,249
Why do you want to take his place?
650
00:46:14,458 --> 00:46:15,540
Well, what else can I do now,
651
00:46:15,750 --> 00:46:17,707
other than staging a coup d'etat
and be emperor myself?
652
00:46:17,916 --> 00:46:18,582
Leopard.
653
00:46:18,750 --> 00:46:19,582
Your Highness.
654
00:46:19,833 --> 00:46:21,832
Kill Prince Nectar,
655
00:46:22,166 --> 00:46:24,749
and also the emperor and Lord Unicorn.
656
00:46:25,083 --> 00:46:26,624
Then we will have absolute power.
657
00:46:26,833 --> 00:46:28,040
What about me?
658
00:46:28,208 --> 00:46:32,499
I will give you the title
The supreme Beauty of the Kingdom.
659
00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:36,832
I love the new title.
660
00:46:37,041 --> 00:46:39,249
Let's overthrow the emperor then.
661
00:46:39,625 --> 00:46:43,790
Ha...OK...
662
00:46:46,791 --> 00:46:48,707
Royal Secret Guards, order!
663
00:46:49,208 --> 00:46:52,124
Today, four princes will arrive at the
Imperial City to participate in the competition.
664
00:46:52,375 --> 00:46:55,040
To maintain good relationship
with our neighbouring countries,
665
00:46:55,208 --> 00:46:57,707
We need to pick two men to enter
the competition as well.
666
00:46:57,916 --> 00:47:00,124
One MUST win,
667
00:47:00,333 --> 00:47:03,749
and the other MUST come in last.
668
00:47:04,416 --> 00:47:07,207
Your Majesty, this is a difficult and dangerous mission.
669
00:47:07,416 --> 00:47:10,457
It needs to be handled well.
670
00:47:10,625 --> 00:47:13,040
With your permission, I will take this mission...
671
00:47:13,375 --> 00:47:14,624
for my fellow guards.
672
00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,457
Royal Rat, you are a loyal servant.
673
00:47:17,833 --> 00:47:18,582
You will join the competition.
674
00:47:18,958 --> 00:47:19,915
Thank You, Your Majesty.
675
00:47:20,083 --> 00:47:21,457
Just pick the worst Guard to be the one...
676
00:47:21,625 --> 00:47:23,707
who will take the fall in the competition.
677
00:47:24,166 --> 00:47:25,374
Him!
678
00:47:25,583 --> 00:47:27,249
HIM?
679
00:47:27,583 --> 00:47:28,499
Your Majesty,
680
00:47:28,708 --> 00:47:30,582
in such an important competition,
we need to have a substitute ready...
681
00:47:30,791 --> 00:47:33,040
in case of accidents.
682
00:47:34,208 --> 00:47:35,707
Alright, just pick someone...
683
00:47:35,916 --> 00:47:37,124
to be the substitute.
684
00:47:37,458 --> 00:47:38,582
Who wants to volunteer?
685
00:47:40,750 --> 00:47:42,749
Thanks, bro.
686
00:47:42,958 --> 00:47:44,415
Thanks, Your Majesty.
687
00:47:44,583 --> 00:47:46,040
What?
688
00:47:50,541 --> 00:47:51,624
I am just the substitute.
689
00:47:51,833 --> 00:47:54,790
If nobody gets injured or sick,
There'll be no need to be in the competition.
690
00:47:58,625 --> 00:48:00,165
Am I not rolling down fast?
691
00:48:00,375 --> 00:48:01,499
Kids, don't try this at home.
692
00:48:01,750 --> 00:48:04,165
I am a trained professional.
693
00:48:04,458 --> 00:48:05,957
He seem to be in great pain.
694
00:48:06,458 --> 00:48:07,582
Stop bugging me, okay?
695
00:48:07,750 --> 00:48:09,165
Alright.
696
00:48:10,833 --> 00:48:12,915
See, I am now crippled.
697
00:48:13,166 --> 00:48:15,290
Royal Dog, let me warn you,
698
00:48:15,541 --> 00:48:17,082
you are supposed to lose in the competition.
699
00:48:17,333 --> 00:48:20,957
You have to stay in the competition
to the end no matter what happens.
700
00:48:30,583 --> 00:48:33,457
I can't move, I am crippled!
701
00:48:34,208 --> 00:48:36,249
Can he roll like that again?
702
00:48:37,375 --> 00:48:38,624
attack me from behind my back...
703
00:48:38,875 --> 00:48:41,874
I won't let you get away with this.
704
00:48:44,083 --> 00:48:46,040
Rainbow.
705
00:48:46,208 --> 00:48:48,624
Are you having wet dreams even in day time?
706
00:48:50,250 --> 00:48:53,915
Get through the door, and there's another door.
707
00:48:54,166 --> 00:48:54,790
Are you dreaming?
708
00:48:54,958 --> 00:48:56,332
How do you know?
709
00:48:57,833 --> 00:48:58,957
Rainbow?
710
00:49:00,416 --> 00:49:01,790
Your Highness.
711
00:49:02,166 --> 00:49:04,040
Get up.
712
00:49:05,458 --> 00:49:06,832
What are you guys looking at?
713
00:49:07,041 --> 00:49:07,749
Your room.
714
00:49:07,958 --> 00:49:09,290
No.
715
00:49:09,541 --> 00:49:12,290
We are working out how to protect His Majesty.
716
00:49:15,291 --> 00:49:18,082
I heard that the four princes are staying
at the hotel outside the Forbidden City, right?
717
00:49:18,250 --> 00:49:18,874
Yes.
718
00:49:19,041 --> 00:49:22,749
Royal Dog and I will go and meet them at the hotel.
719
00:49:23,375 --> 00:49:24,540
I want to go too.
720
00:49:24,750 --> 00:49:26,832
I'd like to see what they look like.
721
00:49:27,041 --> 00:49:29,582
Your Highness, you can't ...
722
00:49:30,625 --> 00:49:32,165
meet those princes...
723
00:49:32,500 --> 00:49:33,540
in private...
724
00:49:33,708 --> 00:49:36,624
Your Highness has to get permission
from His Majesty.
725
00:49:37,583 --> 00:49:40,499
I won't ask you if I have to
ask for His Majesty's permission.
726
00:49:40,708 --> 00:49:42,040
Come over here...
727
00:49:42,416 --> 00:49:45,165
I will get changed and go out with you guys.
728
00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:46,874
How's that?
729
00:49:47,416 --> 00:49:51,540
The palace guards will recognise us.
730
00:49:51,833 --> 00:49:54,249
They will see thru our scheme.
731
00:49:57,750 --> 00:49:59,457
I thought you liked me.
732
00:49:59,750 --> 00:50:02,624
Now I know you don't.
733
00:50:03,916 --> 00:50:05,165
Of course I like you...
734
00:50:05,416 --> 00:50:06,707
I...
735
00:50:09,041 --> 00:50:11,124
I send you flowers.
736
00:50:12,375 --> 00:50:14,540
Then you should think of a way to get me there.
737
00:50:21,166 --> 00:50:21,874
You...
738
00:50:22,083 --> 00:50:23,332
take off your clothes.
739
00:50:29,708 --> 00:50:31,957
Will they believe it or not?
740
00:50:50,166 --> 00:50:51,332
Who are they?
741
00:50:51,583 --> 00:50:53,749
Those foreign princes are having a fight.
742
00:50:55,166 --> 00:50:57,332
They are all very ugly.
743
00:50:57,541 --> 00:51:01,332
Look, one of them almost lost all his hair.
744
00:51:01,875 --> 00:51:03,499
That's lousy.
745
00:51:08,458 --> 00:51:11,582
They are so ugly,
I don't want to marry any of them.
746
00:51:12,208 --> 00:51:14,624
I thought there were four of them.
Why are there only three princes?
747
00:51:14,833 --> 00:51:16,207
Where is the other one?
748
00:51:21,208 --> 00:51:23,124
Brad Pitt?
749
00:51:23,541 --> 00:51:25,124
He is so handsome.
750
00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:28,457
Hold me.
751
00:51:38,250 --> 00:51:40,332
He is so charismatic.
752
00:51:48,958 --> 00:51:50,707
How dare you, Brad?
753
00:51:50,875 --> 00:51:52,332
Faithfull loves you so much.
754
00:51:52,625 --> 00:51:53,957
How can you ever want to marry the Princess?
755
00:51:54,166 --> 00:51:55,874
Faithfull will be heart-broken.
756
00:51:56,083 --> 00:51:58,165
A man should sow his seeds when he is young.
757
00:51:58,333 --> 00:52:00,457
Besides, it's my father's instructions.
758
00:52:00,708 --> 00:52:02,582
I can't disobey my father.
759
00:52:03,041 --> 00:52:05,332
I forgot to tell you,
760
00:52:05,541 --> 00:52:06,957
they used to call me Prince Handsome.
761
00:52:07,208 --> 00:52:10,915
Faithfull likes to call me Handsome too.
762
00:52:11,541 --> 00:52:14,707
Don't fool around because you are born handsome.
763
00:52:24,625 --> 00:52:26,207
Can you stop fighting?
764
00:52:26,458 --> 00:52:28,124
Otherwise I will put all of you in jail.
765
00:52:28,375 --> 00:52:30,374
I am here to welcome all of you all,
on behalf of His Majesty.
766
00:52:30,625 --> 00:52:32,374
Tomorrow you will go to meet His Majesty.
767
00:52:32,708 --> 00:52:35,415
No more fighting, just be friends, okay?
768
00:52:35,750 --> 00:52:36,582
Who are you?
769
00:52:36,791 --> 00:52:39,540
I am Tiger, the mighty guard from Central Plains.
770
00:52:39,750 --> 00:52:42,374
This is my elder brother, Royal Dog.
771
00:52:47,458 --> 00:52:48,832
Two punks.
772
00:52:48,958 --> 00:52:52,415
After the competition, you will all be crippled.
773
00:52:52,625 --> 00:52:54,582
Why should we be friends now?
774
00:52:56,291 --> 00:52:57,332
Where's the Princess?
775
00:53:03,250 --> 00:53:04,874
What the hell? I wana die...
776
00:53:05,916 --> 00:53:09,124
This is so disrespectful to the Princess.
777
00:53:11,291 --> 00:53:14,040
I don't care who the hell he is.
778
00:53:14,291 --> 00:53:15,540
I just want to beat him up.
779
00:53:15,708 --> 00:53:17,499
Me too! Yeah, me too.
780
00:53:18,708 --> 00:53:21,624
Don't you dare, or we will beat you up.
781
00:53:23,375 --> 00:53:25,707
Are all the handsome men in the country dead?
782
00:53:32,041 --> 00:53:33,124
Your Majesty.
783
00:53:33,416 --> 00:53:35,332
Long live the Emperor!
784
00:53:35,541 --> 00:53:37,915
Everybody rise.
785
00:53:38,166 --> 00:53:39,415
Thank You, Your Majesty.
786
00:53:39,583 --> 00:53:42,832
Today I am going to choose a husband
for the Princess.
787
00:53:43,041 --> 00:53:46,457
The winner will be my son-in-law, the crown prince.
788
00:53:46,916 --> 00:53:51,832
My son-in-law should be
a kung-fu master and an educated man.
789
00:53:52,041 --> 00:53:56,082
He should also love Princess Rainbow
with all his heart and soul.
790
00:53:56,291 --> 00:53:59,165
So, contestants will take part in two tests today.
791
00:53:59,333 --> 00:54:00,957
First, the oral test.
792
00:54:01,166 --> 00:54:04,957
Contestants must express their love to Princess Rainbow in Poetry.
793
00:54:05,166 --> 00:54:07,124
Second, the IQ test.
794
00:54:07,291 --> 00:54:09,415
And martial arts will be tested tomorrow.
795
00:54:09,625 --> 00:54:11,624
Okay, who's first?
796
00:54:11,916 --> 00:54:15,957
Tell Princess Rainbow how much you love her.
797
00:54:17,416 --> 00:54:18,832
Me first.
798
00:54:26,875 --> 00:54:28,499
Look at how strong I am.
799
00:54:28,750 --> 00:54:32,707
With me by her side, no one will dare to offend the Princess.
800
00:54:44,833 --> 00:54:47,249
Young fellow, you stink...
801
00:54:47,500 --> 00:54:49,790
you'd better go home and wash up!
802
00:54:49,958 --> 00:54:51,290
Next!
803
00:54:57,166 --> 00:54:58,874
I am out of it.
804
00:54:59,958 --> 00:55:01,290
Get out of my way!
805
00:55:02,833 --> 00:55:04,082
How rude!
806
00:55:14,250 --> 00:55:16,499
Awesome, another one...
807
00:55:28,958 --> 00:55:31,624
That's enough! Go home, idiot!
808
00:55:35,375 --> 00:55:39,582
That handsome fellow, you are next.
809
00:55:44,958 --> 00:55:49,707
Your Highness,
my love for you is like the evening star.
810
00:55:55,583 --> 00:55:57,790
I can't take that...
811
00:55:58,833 --> 00:56:01,915
Your Highness... Your Highness...
812
00:56:02,083 --> 00:56:03,332
What should we do now?
813
00:56:03,875 --> 00:56:07,957
You are embarrassing her Highness. Get lost.
814
00:56:09,708 --> 00:56:12,790
Brother, you have practiced
the whole night yesterday.
815
00:56:12,958 --> 00:56:14,790
It's time to show us what you've got.
816
00:56:14,958 --> 00:56:16,290
Your master move.
817
00:56:16,583 --> 00:56:18,874
Brother, I am very nervous.
818
00:56:19,083 --> 00:56:19,957
Why should you be nervous?
819
00:56:20,208 --> 00:56:23,290
You were doing fine last night, go ahead.
820
00:56:30,958 --> 00:56:32,124
Ready.
821
00:56:32,291 --> 00:56:33,457
Go.
822
00:56:34,958 --> 00:56:38,290
Your Highness, my love for you is so great that,
823
00:56:38,583 --> 00:56:41,540
no matter how big the tempest,
how violent the storm...
824
00:56:41,708 --> 00:56:44,790
nothing is going stop me.
825
00:56:45,083 --> 00:56:46,624
Whether you love me or not,
826
00:56:46,833 --> 00:56:49,749
I'll be your protector all my life.
827
00:56:49,958 --> 00:56:52,707
To keep you safe and happy.
828
00:56:53,083 --> 00:56:55,957
Let me shoulder all your burden.
829
00:57:03,625 --> 00:57:04,290
Okay, ready.
830
00:57:04,458 --> 00:57:06,332
1,2,3, go.
831
00:57:07,833 --> 00:57:13,957
Your...
832
00:57:14,916 --> 00:57:15,707
What's wrong with you?
833
00:57:15,875 --> 00:57:17,207
Bro, I am very nervous.
834
00:57:17,416 --> 00:57:19,165
Why is that?
835
00:57:19,416 --> 00:57:22,415
As soon as I look at her, I can't utter a word.
836
00:57:22,916 --> 00:57:25,249
Well, don't look upon her as the Princess.
837
00:57:25,458 --> 00:57:27,957
just pretend that she is our mother.
838
00:57:28,208 --> 00:57:31,749
Or your most hated enemy, go ahead try it.
839
00:57:43,625 --> 00:57:45,957
Father, am I that ugly? Father...
840
00:57:46,166 --> 00:57:47,249
Royal Tiger, how dare you...
841
00:57:47,458 --> 00:57:50,624
Throwing up in front of the Princess,
that's insulting.
842
00:57:50,875 --> 00:57:54,499
Take him away.
843
00:57:56,250 --> 00:57:58,832
Royal Dog, I order you to make the Princess laugh.
844
00:57:58,958 --> 00:58:02,540
Or else you will eat all of Royal Tiger's vomit.
845
00:58:05,333 --> 00:58:06,582
Are you hungry?
846
00:58:14,333 --> 00:58:15,582
Let's go!
847
00:58:17,583 --> 00:58:20,915
Your Highness, if you were to ask me
848
00:58:21,166 --> 00:58:22,624
how much I love you,
849
00:58:22,833 --> 00:58:25,374
My love for you is as genuine as...
850
00:58:25,625 --> 00:58:27,624
the moon.
851
00:58:27,875 --> 00:58:31,332
Just a light kiss and I am deeply moved.
852
00:58:31,625 --> 00:58:32,957
For an everlasting romance...
853
00:58:34,166 --> 00:58:36,749
how could I forget?
854
00:58:37,583 --> 00:58:41,957
Brother... Calm down...
855
00:58:42,125 --> 00:58:43,332
Father...
856
00:58:44,083 --> 00:58:45,374
I want to marry him.
857
00:58:47,083 --> 00:58:49,540
Really? Wow, even THAT works?
858
00:58:49,708 --> 00:58:53,415
Yes, I trust him. It will be great...
859
00:58:53,750 --> 00:58:55,707
to be his father-in-law.
860
00:58:56,333 --> 00:58:58,207
None of my business.
861
00:58:58,958 --> 00:59:03,082
You can surely sweet-talk the Princess
into marrying you but you can't fool me.
862
00:59:03,250 --> 00:59:04,874
Alright, I will test your IQ.
863
00:59:05,583 --> 00:59:06,957
Should it be on literacy?
864
00:59:07,250 --> 00:59:11,082
I decide what test you will take!
865
00:59:11,750 --> 00:59:13,832
Alright, go ahead.
866
00:59:14,041 --> 00:59:17,124
A rare lamb chop and a medium rare beef steak
867
00:59:17,375 --> 00:59:18,624
was put in the pan.
868
00:59:18,875 --> 00:59:19,915
Why didn't they talk to each other?
869
00:59:20,208 --> 00:59:21,707
Because they are not done.
870
00:59:22,041 --> 00:59:23,624
A shark has eaten 50 catty of green peas,
871
00:59:23,916 --> 00:59:24,624
what would it become?
872
00:59:24,833 --> 00:59:26,332
Green pea congee!
873
00:59:30,250 --> 00:59:31,082
Great!
874
00:59:31,333 --> 00:59:33,874
The chief of a cannibalistic tribe suddenly
wants to eat vegetables.
875
00:59:34,083 --> 00:59:34,957
What should he have?
876
00:59:35,166 --> 00:59:36,290
A veggie.
877
00:59:36,750 --> 00:59:38,457
You go camping in the wilderness.
878
00:59:38,958 --> 00:59:41,582
You get up at midnight,
you can see stars in the sky.
879
00:59:41,791 --> 00:59:43,374
And the Big Dipper is over your head
880
00:59:43,625 --> 00:59:45,374
What would you think of?
881
00:59:45,750 --> 00:59:49,332
The vast universe and the brevity of human life.
882
00:59:49,500 --> 00:59:50,165
Wrong.
883
00:59:50,375 --> 00:59:52,165
Your tent has been stolen.
884
00:59:53,958 --> 00:59:58,374
If you are wrong again, you will be out.
885
00:59:59,833 --> 01:00:01,957
How unreasonable is that...
886
01:00:02,208 --> 01:00:03,957
Alright, ask away.
887
01:00:06,500 --> 01:00:09,249
There's a foreign woman who doesn't know Chinese.
888
01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:11,707
When she goes to buy chicken breast,
she points at her own chest
889
01:00:11,958 --> 01:00:13,582
and mimicks the chicken's crow.
890
01:00:13,875 --> 01:00:14,957
she successfully buys chicken breast.
891
01:00:15,125 --> 01:00:16,874
On the next day, she needs to buy dried sausage.
892
01:00:17,083 --> 01:00:19,165
Instead of going herself,
she tells her husband to go buy it, why?
893
01:00:22,250 --> 01:00:24,540
Because her husband speaks Chinese.
894
01:00:25,541 --> 01:00:28,082
Bravo! Brother...
895
01:00:28,833 --> 01:00:30,624
You are forcing my hand to go to the extreme
896
01:00:30,833 --> 01:00:34,374
You are forcing me to ask you
897
01:00:34,708 --> 01:00:35,957
the unanswerable question.
898
01:00:37,208 --> 01:00:39,957
You trying scare me.
899
01:00:40,625 --> 01:00:43,832
In the middle of the night,
a man is wakened by his child...
900
01:00:44,125 --> 01:00:45,499
who cries because he is hungry.
901
01:00:45,708 --> 01:00:49,915
Which part of the body
should he use to feed his child?
902
01:00:50,083 --> 01:00:51,249
His right foot. Why?
903
01:00:51,458 --> 01:00:54,457
Because he kicks his wife to wake her up
to feed the child.
904
01:00:56,750 --> 01:00:59,082
I am pissed...
905
01:00:59,958 --> 01:01:01,332
To me, such questions...
906
01:01:01,541 --> 01:01:04,082
are a piece of cake, Your Highness!
907
01:01:04,458 --> 01:01:08,832
Okay, I will announce the results for today.
908
01:01:09,041 --> 01:01:11,374
Royal Dog, 6 points.
909
01:01:12,375 --> 01:01:13,707
and the others...
910
01:01:13,916 --> 01:01:15,082
zero points.
911
01:01:15,250 --> 01:01:16,040
What?
912
01:01:16,250 --> 01:01:18,165
Royal Dog is now the favourite
to win this competition
913
01:01:18,333 --> 01:01:19,415
Yes.
914
01:01:19,583 --> 01:01:21,415
If he gets 2 points tomorrow...
915
01:01:21,625 --> 01:01:23,915
Princess Rainbow will have to marry him.
916
01:01:24,208 --> 01:01:25,165
But he doesn't know kung-fu.
917
01:01:25,500 --> 01:01:27,832
Yeah, he cannot fight.
918
01:01:28,250 --> 01:01:30,582
Yet still he managed to kill
all the ninja assassins.
919
01:01:30,833 --> 01:01:33,249
Lord Unicorn was fooled by him a few days ago.
920
01:01:33,458 --> 01:01:36,582
Would it be a surprise
if he beats all the other competing princes?
921
01:01:37,458 --> 01:01:39,707
Then let this idiot marry the Princess.
922
01:01:39,958 --> 01:01:41,790
In fact, I am fed up with him.
923
01:01:42,125 --> 01:01:43,957
Don't you guys want me not to marry him?
924
01:01:44,166 --> 01:01:47,290
It'd be fine for you to dump him.
925
01:01:47,583 --> 01:01:49,582
But if he marries the Princess...
926
01:01:49,791 --> 01:01:52,040
people will think that it is he who dumps you.
927
01:01:52,250 --> 01:01:56,499
You will become an abandoned woman. What a shame!
928
01:01:56,708 --> 01:01:59,207
Right, what should I do then?
929
01:01:59,458 --> 01:02:00,915
stop him from entering the competition tomorrow.
930
01:02:01,333 --> 01:02:02,624
How?
931
01:02:03,208 --> 01:02:04,707
What is done cannot be undone.
932
01:02:06,833 --> 01:02:08,415
You want me to...
933
01:02:08,625 --> 01:02:09,874
No way.
934
01:02:10,208 --> 01:02:12,707
My dear daughter, let's say...
935
01:02:12,916 --> 01:02:14,624
someone snatches your husband,
no one would believe that.
936
01:02:14,916 --> 01:02:16,040
If the Princess
937
01:02:16,291 --> 01:02:20,040
snatches your husband, everyone will believe that.
938
01:02:20,500 --> 01:02:21,415
You will lose face! You will be humiliated!
939
01:02:21,625 --> 01:02:23,582
But I don't know how to seduce men...
940
01:02:25,875 --> 01:02:28,624
For your sake, your mother
941
01:02:28,875 --> 01:02:30,915
I have to use my Ultimate skill.
942
01:02:35,125 --> 01:02:37,290
I am lonely and lost.
943
01:02:37,458 --> 01:02:40,832
Come on, honey, hold me tight...
944
01:02:42,875 --> 01:02:44,540
keep me warm.
945
01:02:47,958 --> 01:02:50,790
Hey, you two throw up?
946
01:02:51,291 --> 01:02:52,790
Am I that disgusting?
947
01:02:52,958 --> 01:02:55,040
Of course not. Mom, you are great.
948
01:02:55,250 --> 01:02:57,249
I already know how to "snatch a husband".
949
01:02:57,541 --> 01:02:58,957
I will use it on Royal Dog.
950
01:02:59,625 --> 01:03:02,082
Honey, you can do it. Go get him.
951
01:03:02,250 --> 01:03:04,624
Right! You can do it.
952
01:03:04,958 --> 01:03:06,624
Get him...
953
01:03:07,416 --> 01:03:08,374
Bastard.
954
01:03:09,750 --> 01:03:11,540
Amida Buddha, for the rest of our life...
955
01:03:11,750 --> 01:03:13,874
for rich or for poor
956
01:03:14,125 --> 01:03:16,124
Please give us your blessing.
957
01:03:20,291 --> 01:03:21,874
Let's see. Oh no! Double thumbs down!
958
01:03:22,083 --> 01:03:22,915
It's a curse...
959
01:03:23,125 --> 01:03:26,082
We are not blessed, we are doomed.
960
01:03:26,250 --> 01:03:28,915
What should we do?
961
01:03:29,208 --> 01:03:31,249
Wait...
962
01:03:31,458 --> 01:03:33,707
Throw all the "bad fortune" sticks away
963
01:03:33,916 --> 01:03:36,082
and replace them with blessing sticks
964
01:03:37,750 --> 01:03:40,374
This time we won't be cursed, try again.
965
01:03:40,625 --> 01:03:42,874
Amida Buddha...
966
01:03:49,250 --> 01:03:50,749
Bastard!
967
01:03:50,958 --> 01:03:53,165
Are you playing tricks on me?
968
01:03:53,375 --> 01:03:54,624
Either give me a bad fortune stick
969
01:03:54,750 --> 01:03:57,207
Or no stick at all.
970
01:03:57,375 --> 01:03:58,874
I pay respect to you and ask for your blessing.
971
01:03:59,083 --> 01:04:00,957
Otherwise I will have burnt down this temple.
972
01:04:01,166 --> 01:04:03,582
so stop playing tricks on me.
973
01:04:03,791 --> 01:04:04,749
Forget it...
974
01:04:04,958 --> 01:04:07,249
We are not superstitious.
975
01:04:09,583 --> 01:04:10,499
Let's go.
976
01:04:10,708 --> 01:04:11,915
Go.
977
01:04:25,041 --> 01:04:27,374
Amida Buddha is not even on my side this time,
978
01:04:27,541 --> 01:04:30,082
Should I depose the emperor?
979
01:04:32,250 --> 01:04:34,374
Your Majesty.
980
01:04:34,583 --> 01:04:35,374
Where have you been?
981
01:04:35,541 --> 01:04:38,165
I have been waiting for you the whole night.
982
01:04:38,750 --> 01:04:41,332
I just went to the temple.
983
01:04:42,125 --> 01:04:46,040
Your Majesty, do you love me?
984
01:04:46,250 --> 01:04:46,874
I do.
985
01:04:47,125 --> 01:04:50,499
You doesn't mean what you say.
986
01:04:50,708 --> 01:04:51,749
Ask me again.
987
01:04:51,958 --> 01:04:54,749
Your Majesty, do you love me?
988
01:04:55,958 --> 01:04:58,499
You have to think hard.
989
01:04:59,625 --> 01:05:00,415
Your Majesty,
990
01:05:00,625 --> 01:05:03,165
if I have done something wrong,
will you still love me?
991
01:05:03,375 --> 01:05:04,499
I will.
992
01:05:06,625 --> 01:05:10,624
What if it's a big big mistake?
993
01:05:10,875 --> 01:05:12,832
How big a mistake is it then?
994
01:05:13,750 --> 01:05:15,499
Depose you, for example?
995
01:05:15,750 --> 01:05:17,457
Just an example...
996
01:05:17,833 --> 01:05:20,499
That's treason!
I will have to execute your whole clan.
997
01:05:21,791 --> 01:05:23,415
But I will still love you.
998
01:05:36,416 --> 01:05:37,457
What are you doing?
999
01:05:37,916 --> 01:05:40,290
Nothing... I am just covering up my chest...
1000
01:05:40,541 --> 01:05:42,499
My dress has a plunging neckline.
1001
01:05:42,833 --> 01:05:44,249
I like to see the back of your head.
1002
01:05:44,500 --> 01:05:46,415
Turn around.
1003
01:05:48,625 --> 01:05:51,124
In fact you don't have
to send the beautiful concubines
1004
01:05:51,416 --> 01:05:53,165
to work in the kitchen.
1005
01:05:53,375 --> 01:05:56,499
You are the only woman in the palace
1006
01:05:56,708 --> 01:05:58,832
that I really love.
1007
01:06:00,125 --> 01:06:01,874
Are you done with that?
1008
01:06:03,625 --> 01:06:04,957
Are you sweating?
1009
01:06:06,083 --> 01:06:07,124
Yes, Your Majesty.
1010
01:06:07,291 --> 01:06:11,540
I feel so weak and feverish when I see you.
1011
01:06:15,708 --> 01:06:17,582
You are having a fever.
1012
01:06:19,291 --> 01:06:20,915
I come at the wrong time.
1013
01:06:21,583 --> 01:06:24,582
Well, I'll return to my room,
you'd better have some rest.
1014
01:06:24,833 --> 01:06:26,624
Yes, Your Majesty.
1015
01:06:27,125 --> 01:06:29,082
Bye.
1016
01:06:33,541 --> 01:06:37,540
sister...
1017
01:06:38,208 --> 01:06:39,707
What happened?
1018
01:06:40,083 --> 01:06:41,457
That bastard Taro says
1019
01:06:41,625 --> 01:06:44,624
We must kill Royal Dog
to avenge his brother's murder
1020
01:06:44,916 --> 01:06:46,749
before he helps us depose the emperor.
1021
01:06:46,958 --> 01:06:48,332
Let him go and kill Royal Dog himself then.
1022
01:06:48,833 --> 01:06:51,915
But the Royal Secret Guards
are watching over me like a hawk.
1023
01:06:52,083 --> 01:06:53,624
How closely are they watching you?
1024
01:07:06,083 --> 01:07:07,624
What should I do then?
1025
01:07:08,333 --> 01:07:13,499
Brother, do you still remember I learnt Ninjutsu?
1026
01:07:13,708 --> 01:07:17,207
I too am a ninja. I can transform too.
1027
01:07:17,416 --> 01:07:18,957
Right.
1028
01:07:19,166 --> 01:07:19,832
so...
1029
01:07:20,083 --> 01:07:23,499
Well, I will go kill Royal Dog.
1030
01:07:23,708 --> 01:07:25,915
Come on...
1031
01:07:26,916 --> 01:07:30,457
sister, looks like you are in the wrong costume.
1032
01:07:31,416 --> 01:07:33,582
Okay! I will transform again
1033
01:07:34,958 --> 01:07:36,749
Transform...
1034
01:07:37,083 --> 01:07:38,332
I am on my way.
1035
01:07:39,041 --> 01:07:41,832
Come back soon.
1036
01:07:52,333 --> 01:07:54,749
Once he has taken my "Frog" poison,
1037
01:07:55,083 --> 01:07:56,374
that will be the end of him.
1038
01:08:06,083 --> 01:08:07,582
Mr. Dog.
1039
01:08:08,416 --> 01:08:09,624
Who is it?
1040
01:08:13,208 --> 01:08:18,582
Damn it, he got away.
1041
01:08:21,708 --> 01:08:23,790
Marco Solo!
1042
01:08:23,958 --> 01:08:25,957
Mr. Dog, how are you?
1043
01:08:26,125 --> 01:08:26,832
What did you say?
1044
01:08:27,041 --> 01:08:28,624
How are you?
1045
01:08:28,916 --> 01:08:30,249
Where's the stuff I ordered?
1046
01:08:30,458 --> 01:08:31,790
It's all here.
1047
01:08:31,958 --> 01:08:34,332
Get down there.
1048
01:08:38,833 --> 01:08:41,207
Mr. Dog, let me tell you.
1049
01:08:41,375 --> 01:08:44,707
This is called a pistol or,
to use a Chinese translation - the "fire pipe".
1050
01:08:44,916 --> 01:08:47,582
One shot from it can kill a person.
1051
01:08:48,083 --> 01:08:48,957
What if it misses?
1052
01:08:49,208 --> 01:08:50,957
If you miss, run like hell.
1053
01:08:52,833 --> 01:08:56,165
Why didn't they make one
that can fire several shots?
1054
01:08:56,333 --> 01:08:57,749
That is a good idea!
1055
01:08:58,083 --> 01:09:00,040
How about you figure it out and make one yourself.
1056
01:09:02,083 --> 01:09:05,249
Don't point it at yourself,
in case of an accident!
1057
01:09:06,708 --> 01:09:08,040
Really? Misfires so easily
1058
01:09:08,333 --> 01:09:10,082
No, don't point it at me.
1059
01:09:12,125 --> 01:09:14,832
Didn't you say it can fire one shot only?
What are you scared of?
1060
01:09:15,958 --> 01:09:17,082
Anything else?
1061
01:09:17,291 --> 01:09:20,207
Mr. Dog, this is container you wanted.
1062
01:09:20,375 --> 01:09:21,207
What is it for?
1063
01:09:21,458 --> 01:09:23,499
To collect oxygen.
1064
01:09:23,833 --> 01:09:26,415
You Chinese know a lot.
1065
01:09:27,333 --> 01:09:28,499
Aren't you Chinese too?
1066
01:09:28,708 --> 01:09:30,832
Don't think that I didn't know you dyed your hair?
1067
01:09:31,083 --> 01:09:33,415
You are Mr. Ma
1068
01:09:33,583 --> 01:09:35,124
I am mixed-blooded.
1069
01:09:35,291 --> 01:09:36,749
Mixed-blooded my foot...
1070
01:09:36,958 --> 01:09:39,040
Chinese do have lots of inventions.
1071
01:09:40,083 --> 01:09:42,957
In fact, I know almost everything about science.
1072
01:09:43,333 --> 01:09:45,957
except two.
1073
01:09:46,208 --> 01:09:47,582
Is it about the universe?
1074
01:09:47,750 --> 01:09:48,749
No.
1075
01:09:49,166 --> 01:09:50,165
What is it then?
1076
01:09:50,333 --> 01:09:52,415
Women and love.
1077
01:09:52,625 --> 01:09:53,832
Women and love?
1078
01:09:53,958 --> 01:09:57,624
The Europeans are more romantic than the Chinese.
1079
01:09:57,833 --> 01:09:59,624
If you like a woman...
1080
01:09:59,958 --> 01:10:01,582
you sing a love song to her
1081
01:10:01,833 --> 01:10:03,957
and then kiss her.
1082
01:10:04,208 --> 01:10:06,957
Then she will love you with all her heart.
1083
01:10:07,208 --> 01:10:08,290
Kiss?
1084
01:10:08,458 --> 01:10:09,457
Like this?
1085
01:10:15,500 --> 01:10:18,790
Faithfull, it's so late,
you look as if you are a quail in spring...
1086
01:10:18,958 --> 01:10:20,207
What are you doing?
1087
01:10:20,500 --> 01:10:22,624
How's it? Am I not pretty?
1088
01:10:25,208 --> 01:10:27,249
You must be the foreigner who swindled his money.
1089
01:10:27,416 --> 01:10:28,457
she is your girlfriend?
1090
01:10:28,708 --> 01:10:29,915
Yes.
1091
01:10:30,500 --> 01:10:31,957
His fiancee.
1092
01:10:32,291 --> 01:10:34,624
I am not disturbing you then. Be romantic...
1093
01:10:34,750 --> 01:10:36,207
Bye.
1094
01:10:38,958 --> 01:10:40,499
What's romance?
1095
01:10:40,625 --> 01:10:42,499
What? Romance?
1096
01:10:42,958 --> 01:10:45,124
That's a western thing,
what would I know of what that is?
1097
01:10:48,375 --> 01:10:49,874
Why do you come here?
1098
01:10:50,250 --> 01:10:52,165
Don't you have to be with your Mr. Handsome?
1099
01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:55,582
I did that on purpose previously to make you jealous.
1100
01:10:55,791 --> 01:10:59,082
Do I look like a woman of easy virtue?
1101
01:10:59,250 --> 01:11:00,207
You do.
1102
01:11:00,375 --> 01:11:01,749
What did you say?
1103
01:11:05,500 --> 01:11:07,207
I'll kill myself if you don't believe me .
1104
01:11:12,083 --> 01:11:14,499
You look like you have been poisoned.
1105
01:11:16,125 --> 01:11:18,082
The chance is here again.
1106
01:11:18,250 --> 01:11:19,832
Don't cry so loud in the middle of the night.
1107
01:11:19,958 --> 01:11:22,415
People will think that I rape you.
1108
01:11:22,708 --> 01:11:25,124
Get me up... Get me up...
1109
01:11:25,291 --> 01:11:26,124
No.
1110
01:11:26,375 --> 01:11:27,749
Really?
1111
01:11:36,291 --> 01:11:37,957
Alright, alright!
1112
01:11:45,500 --> 01:11:47,915
I will kill you for sure.
1113
01:11:50,166 --> 01:11:52,540
Honey, I want to marry you as soon as possible.
1114
01:11:52,750 --> 01:11:54,749
And have many many kids.
1115
01:11:54,958 --> 01:11:56,749
You look like that you are gonna have your way with me.
1116
01:11:56,958 --> 01:11:58,582
Are you having a fever?
1117
01:12:07,375 --> 01:12:10,957
Honey, I am home alone...
1118
01:12:11,166 --> 01:12:13,957
I am so lonely and lost...
1119
01:12:14,250 --> 01:12:15,499
I am so cold...
1120
01:12:15,708 --> 01:12:19,207
I want you to hold me and give me warmth...
1121
01:12:19,375 --> 01:12:23,040
Your arms are so strong..
1122
01:12:31,041 --> 01:12:33,540
Have you tried the western way of wooing?
1123
01:12:34,291 --> 01:12:35,749
What western way?
1124
01:12:35,875 --> 01:12:38,082
We have to sing a love song first...
1125
01:12:38,291 --> 01:12:39,165
then kiss...
1126
01:12:39,375 --> 01:12:41,499
skip the singing part.
1127
01:12:52,625 --> 01:12:53,957
No peeping. Oh?
1128
01:12:56,750 --> 01:12:57,457
How does it feel?
1129
01:12:57,625 --> 01:12:58,874
A little bit...
1130
01:13:10,833 --> 01:13:11,624
A little bit dizzy.
1131
01:13:11,875 --> 01:13:12,957
There's something else.
1132
01:13:20,750 --> 01:13:21,957
I want to throw up.
1133
01:13:22,166 --> 01:13:24,374
Are you are enjoying it?
1134
01:13:30,458 --> 01:13:32,957
I have never tried THAT before.
1135
01:13:38,208 --> 01:13:39,290
Help.
1136
01:13:55,750 --> 01:13:57,707
I am crushed...
1137
01:14:05,958 --> 01:14:07,290
shit, she recognised me.
1138
01:14:25,208 --> 01:14:27,915
Help.
1139
01:14:31,583 --> 01:14:35,957
Are you gonna marry me?
1140
01:14:38,833 --> 01:14:41,165
Holding me now at ransom is it?
1141
01:14:43,083 --> 01:14:45,624
What was it you said lies underneath there?
1142
01:14:46,625 --> 01:14:48,582
Oh, I remember its the sewer.
1143
01:14:49,083 --> 01:14:51,957
My parents have been smelly for many days.
1144
01:14:54,583 --> 01:14:55,915
Honey...
1145
01:14:57,166 --> 01:14:58,749
I can't stand it any more.
1146
01:15:01,750 --> 01:15:03,165
Oh no, it's cut!
1147
01:15:06,583 --> 01:15:08,124
Honey...
1148
01:15:08,291 --> 01:15:10,957
You are going to withdraw from the
competition tomorrow, you can't marry the Princess.
1149
01:15:11,333 --> 01:15:13,415
I don't want to marry her at all in the first place.
1150
01:15:13,750 --> 01:15:17,290
You are the only one I love.
1151
01:15:17,416 --> 01:15:18,957
Is it not you who dumped me?
1152
01:15:19,375 --> 01:15:20,415
I...
1153
01:15:20,791 --> 01:15:22,624
I want to be with you. . .
1154
01:15:22,833 --> 01:15:24,832
romantically...
1155
01:15:25,041 --> 01:15:26,624
Then what about Prince Handsome?
1156
01:15:30,416 --> 01:15:33,415
What? You are very cunning.
1157
01:15:34,041 --> 01:15:35,124
My dear honey.
1158
01:15:42,041 --> 01:15:44,082
Your Highness. You look...
1159
01:15:44,250 --> 01:15:46,582
very different today.
1160
01:15:47,083 --> 01:15:52,624
Do you guys like thick lips?
1161
01:15:53,083 --> 01:15:55,832
I heard about that, but no guys...
1162
01:15:56,041 --> 01:15:57,582
like duck lips.
1163
01:15:57,750 --> 01:15:58,957
shut up.
1164
01:15:59,500 --> 01:16:03,207
This is the second round of the competition.
1165
01:16:03,458 --> 01:16:05,624
which will decide who the winner is.
1166
01:16:05,833 --> 01:16:09,707
If no one beats Royal Dog,
1167
01:16:09,958 --> 01:16:13,457
he will be the Imperial son-in-law.
1168
01:16:19,625 --> 01:16:22,624
What are you doing?
1169
01:16:22,916 --> 01:16:26,415
Your Majesty, I withdraw from the competition.
1170
01:16:26,625 --> 01:16:27,624
Good luck to all the...
1171
01:16:27,833 --> 01:16:29,415
other contestants.
1172
01:16:29,625 --> 01:16:31,499
All the best.
1173
01:16:31,625 --> 01:16:32,624
Brother, you...
1174
01:16:32,791 --> 01:16:34,624
Brother, do your best.
1175
01:16:36,041 --> 01:16:37,832
What do you mean?
1176
01:16:38,625 --> 01:16:41,040
That's defrauding the Emperor.
1177
01:16:41,416 --> 01:16:44,957
Your Highness, even if I win, I can't marry you.
1178
01:16:45,166 --> 01:16:46,790
Because I already have the most loveable lady,
1179
01:16:47,041 --> 01:16:48,582
who is good with kung-fu, great at house work
1180
01:16:48,791 --> 01:16:51,207
can carry heavy loads, but most importantly...
1181
01:16:51,500 --> 01:16:53,915
I don't have to give her all my salary.
1182
01:16:54,166 --> 01:16:56,582
Royal Dog, do you have a death wish?
1183
01:16:57,541 --> 01:17:01,207
Father, can't you let me pick my own husband?
1184
01:17:02,333 --> 01:17:03,707
You are not to say anything.
1185
01:17:03,958 --> 01:17:05,915
You are the Princess.
1186
01:17:06,083 --> 01:17:07,290
How can you say something so silly?
1187
01:17:07,500 --> 01:17:10,207
Guards! Put Royal Dog under arrest.
1188
01:17:10,416 --> 01:17:12,749
Your Majesty,
my brother has been protecting you for years.
1189
01:17:12,958 --> 01:17:13,957
Please pardon him, Your Majesty.
1190
01:17:14,166 --> 01:17:15,624
In accordance with the law,
1191
01:17:15,875 --> 01:17:19,082
anyone who speaks for the offender is an
accomplice and is equally guilty.
1192
01:17:19,791 --> 01:17:21,499
Please pardon him, Your Majesty.
1193
01:17:21,708 --> 01:17:23,165
Put them both in jail.
1194
01:17:24,416 --> 01:17:27,582
Why is it that we only get to share the misfortune
but not the good luck?
1195
01:17:27,791 --> 01:17:28,832
Take them away!
1196
01:17:29,083 --> 01:17:32,540
Move it! Hurry up...
1197
01:17:37,500 --> 01:17:38,707
Are you done with the "kiddie" games?
1198
01:17:38,916 --> 01:17:41,457
Can we start the martial arts competition now?
1199
01:17:44,041 --> 01:17:45,624
Of course.
1200
01:17:46,166 --> 01:17:47,290
Go ahead!
1201
01:17:57,041 --> 01:17:59,957
Old Fool! Have you gone mad?
1202
01:18:00,166 --> 01:18:02,290
Those princes compete among themselves,
1203
01:18:02,500 --> 01:18:05,290
not against your staff.
1204
01:18:06,416 --> 01:18:07,457
You good-for-nothing Emperor!
1205
01:18:08,291 --> 01:18:09,957
Why are you so dumb?
1206
01:18:10,166 --> 01:18:13,582
They do not come for the competition.
They come to depose you.
1207
01:18:13,791 --> 01:18:16,457
Depose me?
1208
01:18:16,958 --> 01:18:19,957
Aren't all you Royal Secret Guards on my side?
1209
01:18:20,375 --> 01:18:23,915
Lock the emperor and the Princess up.
1210
01:18:24,083 --> 01:18:27,540
Honey, you'd better go first.
1211
01:18:28,083 --> 01:18:31,457
Sorry, I am one of them.
1212
01:18:31,625 --> 01:18:34,707
But honey, I realize now that I love you very much.
1213
01:18:34,916 --> 01:18:36,749
Bro, can we not depose him?
1214
01:18:37,041 --> 01:18:39,082
Just pretend nothing ever happened.
1215
01:18:39,541 --> 01:18:40,582
Of course.....
1216
01:18:40,791 --> 01:18:41,957
Not!
1217
01:18:42,291 --> 01:18:46,624
Let us get ready for the Princess' wedding.
1218
01:18:47,625 --> 01:18:49,874
Will the Princess marry me?
1219
01:18:50,500 --> 01:18:52,499
Of course...not.
1220
01:18:58,625 --> 01:19:01,040
The one to marry the Princess is...
1221
01:19:01,291 --> 01:19:03,040
Me!
1222
01:19:05,333 --> 01:19:07,374
No...
1223
01:19:09,541 --> 01:19:11,957
Unicorn, save me.
1224
01:19:12,166 --> 01:19:14,915
Your Majesty, how can I...
1225
01:19:15,166 --> 01:19:17,707
beat them all?
1226
01:19:19,916 --> 01:19:21,749
You are smart.
1227
01:19:26,625 --> 01:19:29,957
But I can arrest you.
1228
01:19:30,916 --> 01:19:34,082
Your elder brother has committed treason.
1229
01:19:39,708 --> 01:19:41,165
Tyrant!
1230
01:19:41,500 --> 01:19:44,165
You order your Royal Secret Guards
to kill my brother.
1231
01:19:44,708 --> 01:19:47,165
I will now avenge his death.
1232
01:19:47,583 --> 01:19:48,915
Who are you?
1233
01:19:49,083 --> 01:19:51,124
Our fellow countrymen.
1234
01:19:51,958 --> 01:19:54,207
Good then I have nothing to worry about,
please sit down.
1235
01:19:54,416 --> 01:19:56,207
He is MY fellow countrymen.
1236
01:19:56,416 --> 01:19:58,124
Right, your countrymen are my subjects
1237
01:19:58,375 --> 01:20:02,124
Yes I was, but no longer.
1238
01:20:02,291 --> 01:20:03,332
Guards!
1239
01:20:03,541 --> 01:20:05,624
Prepare for the emperor to be deposed.
1240
01:20:06,166 --> 01:20:07,040
Deposed?
1241
01:20:07,250 --> 01:20:09,874
Father, Lord Unicorn wants to be king.
1242
01:20:11,166 --> 01:20:13,457
Who ever heard of an eunuch being king...
1243
01:20:14,541 --> 01:20:17,624
My Lord, I have thought about this.
1244
01:20:17,833 --> 01:20:20,624
You are the right person to take the throne.
1245
01:20:20,875 --> 01:20:23,165
You are my idol, my Lord.
1246
01:20:23,416 --> 01:20:26,207
I decide to switch sides again and serve you.
1247
01:20:26,416 --> 01:20:27,415
What do you think?
1248
01:20:27,625 --> 01:20:28,540
Great!
1249
01:20:28,750 --> 01:20:31,957
You will be my eunuch when I become king.
1250
01:20:33,291 --> 01:20:34,582
Whom should I marry now?
1251
01:20:34,791 --> 01:20:36,624
You...
1252
01:20:37,125 --> 01:20:38,582
Not you?
1253
01:20:39,083 --> 01:20:42,790
Everyone has to die! Who else is there to marry?
1254
01:20:44,083 --> 01:20:45,082
Father!
1255
01:20:45,791 --> 01:20:47,082
Why has everything changed all in a sudden?
1256
01:20:47,291 --> 01:20:48,915
Taro and the eunuch are in this together.
1257
01:20:49,416 --> 01:20:51,707
Am I the good guy or bad guy then?
1258
01:20:51,958 --> 01:20:53,582
You are the fool.
1259
01:20:54,583 --> 01:20:56,957
All of you don't give a damn about me.
1260
01:20:57,208 --> 01:20:58,624
I will protect His Majesty!
1261
01:21:01,583 --> 01:21:04,624
Ninja...
1262
01:21:22,750 --> 01:21:23,749
What is this?
1263
01:21:23,958 --> 01:21:26,582
I invented this while killing the fly with a fly-swat.
1264
01:21:26,875 --> 01:21:27,957
The cyclonic fly-swatter.
1265
01:21:28,166 --> 01:21:29,124
Bullshit!
1266
01:21:33,958 --> 01:21:35,332
Crazy woman!
1267
01:21:37,375 --> 01:21:39,624
Who will save me now?
1268
01:21:39,833 --> 01:21:41,790
Those who could have saved you were all
put in jail by Your Majesty.
1269
01:21:41,958 --> 01:21:43,040
I am still here.
1270
01:21:43,458 --> 01:21:45,040
Your humble servant Lady Gemini is here
to protect Your Majesty.
1271
01:21:46,291 --> 01:21:49,082
What? You are a girl?
1272
01:21:49,625 --> 01:21:51,249
What a waste!
1273
01:21:51,458 --> 01:21:52,790
You're sometimes a man and sometimes a woman...
1274
01:21:52,958 --> 01:21:55,040
Let's see how long you can pretend to be a prince?
1275
01:21:55,208 --> 01:21:56,332
I am here as well.
1276
01:21:58,291 --> 01:22:01,165
Miss, who are you?
1277
01:22:01,250 --> 01:22:03,915
My husband is Royal Dog, whom you have just jailed.
1278
01:22:04,291 --> 01:22:07,249
Are you for or against me?
1279
01:22:07,583 --> 01:22:08,832
I come to protect Your Majesty.
1280
01:22:09,416 --> 01:22:11,624
Welcome...
1281
01:22:12,125 --> 01:22:13,540
Only you two?
1282
01:22:13,708 --> 01:22:17,040
Wrong! The Royal Secret Guards have been preparing
1283
01:22:17,375 --> 01:22:18,915
for something like this in the past ten years,.
1284
01:22:24,333 --> 01:22:26,707
Great!...
1285
01:22:35,875 --> 01:22:38,499
How come I didn't know of such a device?
1286
01:22:38,750 --> 01:22:40,124
My hubby told me that.
1287
01:22:40,416 --> 01:22:41,249
Your Majesty, run!
1288
01:22:41,375 --> 01:22:42,499
Where to?
1289
01:22:47,958 --> 01:22:49,540
Is this another one of Royal Dog's invention?
1290
01:22:49,750 --> 01:22:52,207
Bring him in, I must reward him!
1291
01:22:53,250 --> 01:22:56,374
You put him in jail already.
1292
01:23:02,375 --> 01:23:03,624
Your Majesty.
1293
01:23:08,916 --> 01:23:11,249
Pull the string on the left.
1294
01:23:12,583 --> 01:23:13,707
Die!
1295
01:23:17,541 --> 01:23:19,457
Your Majesty, we've come to save you.
1296
01:23:19,708 --> 01:23:22,957
Your Majesty, don't be scared.
1297
01:23:24,166 --> 01:23:26,249
Your Majesty, you are shocked.
Your Majesty.
1298
01:23:28,416 --> 01:23:30,207
As long as I am still alive, it is okay.
1299
01:23:31,083 --> 01:23:31,915
Where's the Princess?
1300
01:23:32,083 --> 01:23:32,790
Your Majesty, my daughter,
1301
01:23:32,958 --> 01:23:35,957
Faithfull and Lady Gemini have taken
the Princess to a safe place.
1302
01:23:36,333 --> 01:23:38,832
I know a secret tunnel through
which we can escape.
1303
01:23:39,250 --> 01:23:40,582
Get moving... Go...
1304
01:23:40,750 --> 01:23:42,040
stay where you are...
1305
01:23:44,875 --> 01:23:47,165
There is no escape...
1306
01:23:47,541 --> 01:23:50,624
Unicorn, as long as we are here,
1307
01:23:50,875 --> 01:23:54,957
You will not be able to harm a
single hair on the emperor.
1308
01:23:55,166 --> 01:23:58,165
I've heard that you and your wife are
the best kung-fu masters in the country.
1309
01:23:58,375 --> 01:24:02,124
It is my lucky day and my honour to fight
both of you today.
1310
01:24:04,875 --> 01:24:06,749
Fire Thighs! translated as Ham
1311
01:24:06,916 --> 01:24:07,790
Ham???
1312
01:24:13,375 --> 01:24:14,540
Hurry up.
1313
01:24:22,250 --> 01:24:23,624
Who are you?
1314
01:24:23,958 --> 01:24:26,207
Your Highness, Lord Unicorn has been colluding
with the Japanese.
1315
01:24:26,416 --> 01:24:29,165
My father was murdered because he secured evidence
of Lord Unicorn's collusion with the Japanese.
1316
01:24:29,541 --> 01:24:32,540
Today, besides the Princess,
1317
01:24:32,708 --> 01:24:35,124
you two must die.
1318
01:24:35,916 --> 01:24:37,457
That's great.
1319
01:24:38,541 --> 01:24:41,624
That chick who wears man's costume is not bad.
I will have her.
1320
01:24:42,125 --> 01:24:42,957
Okay, we won't kill her.
1321
01:24:43,416 --> 01:24:44,707
What do you mean?
1322
01:24:44,916 --> 01:24:48,290
You won't kill them because they are beautiful,
what about me?
1323
01:24:48,625 --> 01:24:50,165
You deserve to die.
1324
01:24:52,166 --> 01:24:53,207
You are the one who deserves to die.
1325
01:25:02,416 --> 01:25:03,957
Are you done with that?
1326
01:25:36,583 --> 01:25:38,249
Are you two okay?
1327
01:25:44,791 --> 01:25:45,957
You are too horny.
1328
01:25:46,166 --> 01:25:47,582
I just thought of something.
1329
01:25:48,458 --> 01:25:49,832
Shouldn't you be in jail?
1330
01:25:49,958 --> 01:25:51,124
Of course not.
1331
01:25:55,333 --> 01:25:57,624
We laid this mousetrap
with His Majesty to con you guys
1332
01:25:57,833 --> 01:26:00,874
To dupe you into showing your true colours.
1333
01:26:02,833 --> 01:26:05,624
What? Those four princes are all fake princes?
1334
01:26:05,875 --> 01:26:07,207
Our information is true.
1335
01:26:07,375 --> 01:26:10,165
so we plead with His Majesty to cooperate with us
1336
01:26:10,375 --> 01:26:12,290
We let them think that His Majesty
is exposed and has no protection.
1337
01:26:12,500 --> 01:26:14,624
Then they will reveal their true intentions.
1338
01:26:14,958 --> 01:26:17,332
What should I do?
1339
01:26:17,541 --> 01:26:18,540
Your Majesty.
1340
01:26:18,750 --> 01:26:20,915
My parents-in-law are kung-fu masters.
1341
01:26:21,125 --> 01:26:23,499
They will protect Your Majesty.
1342
01:26:25,500 --> 01:26:28,374
Then I will let them protect me.
1343
01:26:28,625 --> 01:26:29,624
Thanks, Your Majesty.
1344
01:26:30,916 --> 01:26:32,332
I just know everything will happen
1345
01:26:32,500 --> 01:26:34,874
in the way I expected it to happen.
1346
01:26:35,083 --> 01:26:37,749
so I came back and saved
His Majesty and Her Highness.
1347
01:26:37,916 --> 01:26:39,249
Royal Dog, you are brilliant.
1348
01:26:39,375 --> 01:26:40,415
Thanks.
1349
01:26:40,750 --> 01:26:42,749
What the hell.
1350
01:26:49,250 --> 01:26:50,290
That's your mom
1351
01:26:50,708 --> 01:26:51,499
and your dad.
1352
01:26:51,708 --> 01:26:54,165
It is.
1353
01:26:56,791 --> 01:26:57,624
You are my buddy.
1354
01:26:57,916 --> 01:27:00,790
Lord Unicorn is a good fighter.
1355
01:27:01,750 --> 01:27:02,749
God-father.
1356
01:27:03,041 --> 01:27:05,707
There's nothing special about them.
1357
01:27:05,875 --> 01:27:07,957
You know everything now, so what?
1358
01:27:08,250 --> 01:27:09,874
Can you beat the three of us?
1359
01:27:11,208 --> 01:27:12,624
Your Highness.
1360
01:27:14,250 --> 01:27:15,874
so what?!
1361
01:27:22,375 --> 01:27:23,832
How dare you hit Her Highness!
1362
01:27:34,458 --> 01:27:36,540
You have to fight me then.
1363
01:27:36,708 --> 01:27:37,790
Okay.
1364
01:27:39,041 --> 01:27:41,374
My dear future son-in-law, you'll lose
1365
01:27:41,541 --> 01:27:42,707
Please leave with His Majesty.
1366
01:27:42,833 --> 01:27:43,499
Okay.
1367
01:27:43,625 --> 01:27:44,749
so cold blooded!
1368
01:28:08,250 --> 01:28:09,499
You... Painful?
1369
01:28:11,625 --> 01:28:13,957
Hey, you have an extra hole on your ass...
1370
01:28:14,166 --> 01:28:15,124
Why don't you surrender?
1371
01:28:15,333 --> 01:28:16,957
I have been practising martial arts for years.
1372
01:28:17,333 --> 01:28:20,290
Don't you think I have a Ultimate move?
1373
01:28:20,625 --> 01:28:22,124
Watch it carefully.
1374
01:28:22,375 --> 01:28:23,749
My Ultimate move.
1375
01:28:25,125 --> 01:28:26,582
Run for my life!
1376
01:28:31,958 --> 01:28:33,874
Your Majesty...
1377
01:28:34,083 --> 01:28:36,290
I just pretended to be on their side...
1378
01:28:36,541 --> 01:28:38,124
so as to expose and apprehend them.
1379
01:28:38,333 --> 01:28:41,582
Will Your Majesty be so kind as to take me back?
1380
01:28:41,791 --> 01:28:43,874
Please forgive me.
1381
01:28:44,125 --> 01:28:45,499
Take you back?
1382
01:28:45,625 --> 01:28:46,790
I can, but...
1383
01:28:46,958 --> 01:28:48,124
Forgive you?
1384
01:28:48,625 --> 01:28:49,415
No way.
1385
01:28:49,583 --> 01:28:50,249
Guards!
1386
01:28:50,500 --> 01:28:52,332
Beat him up...
1387
01:29:13,708 --> 01:29:14,790
It's my turn.
1388
01:29:33,583 --> 01:29:34,957
If you are gentlemen and play fair...
1389
01:29:35,208 --> 01:29:38,082
Then fight me one on one like a man.
1390
01:29:40,375 --> 01:29:41,832
We are not gentlemen and ,
1391
01:29:42,041 --> 01:29:43,415
we won't play fair.
1392
01:29:48,250 --> 01:29:50,290
Piggy shooting star!
1393
01:29:55,458 --> 01:29:56,749
Done.
1394
01:30:06,833 --> 01:30:08,624
Thank you, parents-in-law.
1395
01:30:08,833 --> 01:30:10,249
You'd better go for late supper.
1396
01:30:10,750 --> 01:30:12,874
Okay, that's a good idea!
1397
01:30:17,875 --> 01:30:19,874
And what manner of toy is this?
1398
01:30:28,416 --> 01:30:29,540
Try this!
1399
01:30:41,916 --> 01:30:44,332
There's NOTHING there.
1400
01:30:45,750 --> 01:30:48,249
Yes, I don't have it.
1401
01:31:01,791 --> 01:31:04,707
Jumped so high and scared the hell out of
yourself till the face is green.
1402
01:31:04,958 --> 01:31:07,749
The Mighty Ice Palm!
1403
01:31:08,250 --> 01:31:10,374
Super Barbecue fire!
1404
01:31:18,791 --> 01:31:19,749
Still can withstand the heat?
1405
01:31:19,958 --> 01:31:22,624
Alright, I will roast you into BBQ pork.
1406
01:31:28,125 --> 01:31:29,374
Burn me?
1407
01:31:31,041 --> 01:31:33,249
Do you think my hand is BBQ meat?
1408
01:31:36,833 --> 01:31:38,290
Fire Thighs Ham Kick!
1409
01:31:38,750 --> 01:31:40,249
Honey, be careful.
1410
01:31:41,875 --> 01:31:45,332
Super Furnace wind!
1411
01:31:45,708 --> 01:31:47,249
Furnace Fan?
1412
01:31:52,041 --> 01:31:55,749
Honey, that's enough, it wouldn't be suitable
for children to watch if you keep doing that.
1413
01:31:58,625 --> 01:31:59,874
Lucky there's no XXX-rated material.
1414
01:32:01,625 --> 01:32:04,249
Shit! It's burnt.
1415
01:32:07,625 --> 01:32:09,749
My last move.
1416
01:32:10,125 --> 01:32:11,165
There's a Last Move?
1417
01:32:11,375 --> 01:32:13,832
Lightning drill!
1418
01:32:18,541 --> 01:32:19,874
Where's he gone to?
1419
01:32:23,541 --> 01:32:25,832
Lightning drill is awesome.
1420
01:32:28,375 --> 01:32:29,624
Honey, are you okay?
1421
01:32:29,875 --> 01:32:31,082
I can't pull my hand out.
1422
01:32:32,625 --> 01:32:37,374
Want to ruin my face?
I have dismantled your armour
1423
01:32:44,416 --> 01:32:46,499
There's only one bullet in a western pistol.
1424
01:32:46,708 --> 01:32:49,832
If you can't kill me with the one and only bullet,
you will be dead.
1425
01:32:49,958 --> 01:32:52,540
Well, then we'd have no choice but to... Run!
1426
01:33:01,458 --> 01:33:04,582
We didn't kill you with one shot. What about a
HUNDRED shots?
1427
01:33:04,791 --> 01:33:06,957
Well, then try out my new invention!
1428
01:33:07,208 --> 01:33:10,332
The multi barrelled "Don't-know-wheel" gun!
1429
01:33:11,791 --> 01:33:13,624
"What the.... wheel" is this?
1430
01:33:28,958 --> 01:33:31,082
Honey, you are so cool.
1431
01:33:31,625 --> 01:33:32,915
Really?
1432
01:33:35,250 --> 01:33:40,624
I don't deserve to be killed by low-lives like you.
1433
01:33:41,333 --> 01:33:43,415
To die by my sword, would that be satisfactory?
1434
01:33:51,083 --> 01:33:52,457
Huh? That same old trick Again?
1435
01:33:59,083 --> 01:34:01,582
What can you do to me now?
1436
01:34:06,041 --> 01:34:10,374
Huh? I can run... run... run...
1437
01:34:11,333 --> 01:34:11,957
Splat! It's done!
1438
01:34:14,625 --> 01:34:18,457
Royal Tiger! Face the throne!
1439
01:34:18,750 --> 01:34:19,832
Your Majesty
1440
01:34:20,750 --> 01:34:22,957
I will make you the Head
of all Royal Secret Guards.
1441
01:34:23,208 --> 01:34:24,540
Stay by me 24 hours per day, 7 days per week.
1442
01:34:24,791 --> 01:34:25,957
Thanks, Your Majesty.
1443
01:34:26,125 --> 01:34:27,707
And I will make you my son-in-law!
1444
01:34:27,958 --> 01:34:30,707
Let's pick a good day for you
to marry Princess Rainbow.
1445
01:34:36,916 --> 01:34:37,957
Well, as for that...
1446
01:34:38,166 --> 01:34:40,124
Just help me out here...
1447
01:34:40,333 --> 01:34:43,082
No one would marry her except you.
1448
01:34:43,291 --> 01:34:44,582
Thank you, Your Majesty.
1449
01:34:44,708 --> 01:34:47,290
Clement! Clementine! Face the throne!
1450
01:34:47,833 --> 01:34:50,957
You two have saved me,
I will grant you two the title of
1451
01:34:51,166 --> 01:34:53,957
The Birds of a feather, Yin Yang Glorious Couple.
1452
01:34:54,250 --> 01:34:57,082
You could travel throughout the country with no
restrictions whatsoever.
1453
01:34:57,291 --> 01:35:00,624
Royal Dog! Face the throne!
1454
01:35:00,875 --> 01:35:03,457
Your Majesty, he and my daughter have disappeared
1455
01:35:03,708 --> 01:35:04,749
and are already gone to God-knows-where.
1456
01:35:10,833 --> 01:35:13,249
This is so romantic.
1457
01:35:13,750 --> 01:35:15,290
We will have lots of kids
1458
01:35:15,500 --> 01:35:17,707
on this kite.
1459
01:35:17,958 --> 01:35:20,582
Faithfull, I know you are horny.
1460
01:35:20,750 --> 01:35:22,582
but I spent lots of money in making this kite.
1461
01:35:22,750 --> 01:35:24,915
If it is damaged,
I can't afford to make another one.
1462
01:35:25,125 --> 01:35:27,499
Unless I can get a few more sponsors...
1463
01:35:27,750 --> 01:35:28,499
then we can do whatever you want on this kite.
1464
01:35:28,625 --> 01:35:29,957
Come and take a look.
1465
01:35:30,041 --> 01:35:31,882
Sponsor Banner reads
Royal Dog loves Girlie Red Wine and Old Man Pizza.
1466
01:35:31,925 --> 01:35:33,582
No need to look.
1467
01:35:33,625 --> 01:35:35,124
Faithfull uses MJ skin care products
1468
01:35:42,041 --> 01:35:43,790
Royal Dog.
1469
01:35:44,416 --> 01:35:46,415
What? Ninja again?
1470
01:35:51,541 --> 01:35:52,582
You are...
1471
01:35:52,791 --> 01:35:54,915
It's me, Gemini.
1472
01:35:55,083 --> 01:35:57,290
Faithfull, he is such a nice guy...
1473
01:35:57,583 --> 01:35:59,540
I won't let you have him so easily.
1474
01:35:59,791 --> 01:36:02,624
Royal Dog, I fancy you so much.
1475
01:36:03,916 --> 01:36:05,165
Wow, not bad at all.
1476
01:36:05,416 --> 01:36:06,624
No ogling!
1477
01:36:07,125 --> 01:36:08,165
Trying steal my hubby, is it?
1478
01:36:08,333 --> 01:36:09,749
I am gonna kill you!!!
1479
01:36:10,333 --> 01:36:16,749
Written by MarineSWS (for the Cantonese version)
104100
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