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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:10,083 --> 00:01:17,457 Written by MarineSWS (for the Cantonese version) 1.1 00:01:18,083 --> 00:01:19,457 Why does it take so long ready? 2 00:01:19,625 --> 00:01:21,374 Hurry up! Do you want to be punished? 3 00:01:27,625 --> 00:01:28,790 Unicorn 4 00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:30,749 Your Majesty. 5 00:01:31,416 --> 00:01:33,207 Why aren't they here yet? 6 00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:51,124 Great move, Your Majesty. 7 00:01:51,458 --> 00:01:54,624 Come and help. 8 00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:58,957 Grab the chicken...come on... 9 00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:06,832 Madam is here. 10 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,332 so finally she has come. 11 00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:12,415 Good evening, Your Majesty. 12 00:02:12,583 --> 00:02:15,040 I have been waiting for you for a long time. 13 00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:24,624 Honey, shouldn't you shave your face? 14 00:02:24,791 --> 00:02:27,915 Your beard hurts me. 15 00:02:28,375 --> 00:02:29,915 I did shave it this morning, 16 00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:31,790 but as Your Majesty has noticed, it has grown back. 17 00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:34,749 What can I do? 18 00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:37,790 Well...I got a beard too. 19 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,874 It's a tie then. 20 00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:43,582 Yes, Your Majesty. Let's go to the bedroom. 21 00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,457 There are so many beautiful concubines in the palace. 22 00:02:47,708 --> 00:02:51,832 Why does His Majesty always choose the ugly Madam? 23 00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:55,874 The Empress chooses her for His Majesty. 24 00:02:56,083 --> 00:02:59,957 so His Majesty only knows two women. 25 00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:05,290 And the Empress would be the most beautiful one. 26 00:03:10,375 --> 00:03:14,499 Your Highness, the magic mirror from Japan has arrived. 27 00:03:16,041 --> 00:03:17,832 Ha... 28 00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:32,749 Honey, why do you always eat first? 29 00:03:33,041 --> 00:03:34,957 Your Majesty, don't be mad at me. 30 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,915 I'll chop off your head, bastard. 31 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:41,749 Royal Secret Guards, help! 32 00:03:42,458 --> 00:03:43,915 Royal Secret Guards are here. 33 00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:47,457 Royal Dragon 34 00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:48,540 Royal Rabbit 35 00:03:49,166 --> 00:03:50,249 Royal Snake 36 00:03:50,583 --> 00:03:51,540 Royal Tiger 37 00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:19,707 Who send you here? 38 00:05:38,083 --> 00:05:39,082 Go! 39 00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:42,082 see, my Royal Secret Guards... 40 00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:47,332 protect me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 41 00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:49,582 Are you sure? 42 00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:51,249 What did you say? 43 00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,332 Japanese. 44 00:05:53,541 --> 00:05:55,457 How come you can speak Japanese? 45 00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:57,832 Because... 46 00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:01,707 Help! 47 00:06:01,958 --> 00:06:03,624 All your Royal Secret Guards are gone. 48 00:06:03,958 --> 00:06:04,957 Wrong. 49 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,374 There is one left. 50 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,624 Help! 51 00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:10,499 Don't worry, Your Majesty. 52 00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:13,207 I am coming. 53 00:06:28,291 --> 00:06:29,165 What is this? 54 00:06:29,375 --> 00:06:31,540 It's the Golden Lock, my new invention. 55 00:06:31,708 --> 00:06:33,499 Beat him up... Yes, Your Majesty. 56 00:06:33,708 --> 00:06:35,332 As a Royal Secret Guard, 57 00:06:35,583 --> 00:06:37,165 I am now putting you under arrest. 58 00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:39,290 You have the right to remain silent, but whatever you say... 59 00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:42,165 will be used as evidence in court. 60 00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:53,207 What is this then? 61 00:06:53,375 --> 00:06:54,624 That's our famous. . . 62 00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:56,124 ...human shield. 63 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,707 We enjoyed putting it in public toilets to scare people. 64 00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:01,207 It can be used as a weapon, too. 65 00:07:08,583 --> 00:07:10,749 I am going to get him, Your Majesty. 66 00:07:10,958 --> 00:07:14,124 Madam, this magic mirror can answer any question you ask of it. 67 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:18,415 Magic mirror, tell me who is the most beautiful woman in the world? 68 00:07:18,625 --> 00:07:22,082 Your Highness, it's you of course. 69 00:07:22,458 --> 00:07:23,707 Really? 70 00:07:28,166 --> 00:07:29,540 No. Just kidding. 71 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:30,874 What did you say? 72 00:07:33,416 --> 00:07:35,124 Hit me? You wanna die? 73 00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:37,540 What's up? Robbery! 74 00:07:42,916 --> 00:07:45,290 My goodness! 75 00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:47,957 Help! 76 00:07:59,708 --> 00:08:01,915 sorry for coming so late, Your Highness. 77 00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:04,332 Give him a beating. 78 00:08:06,416 --> 00:08:07,790 Let me. 79 00:08:08,916 --> 00:08:12,040 You bastard, you ruined everything. 80 00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:15,749 I am gonna beat you to death. 81 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,040 How come you run so fast? 82 00:08:34,958 --> 00:08:37,499 It's high enough, I am gonna let go. 83 00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:45,165 Thanks. 84 00:08:45,416 --> 00:08:48,165 Royal Dog is really awesome, Brother you are so cool. 85 00:08:49,875 --> 00:08:51,207 Be careful. 86 00:08:51,416 --> 00:08:52,749 I got it. 87 00:09:13,083 --> 00:09:15,374 You'll better disarm and surrender. 88 00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:17,290 Or I will use force. 89 00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:22,915 Whistling for help? 90 00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:37,582 Again. 91 00:09:39,916 --> 00:09:42,915 Bastard, I need to use the cannon. 92 00:09:57,333 --> 00:09:59,040 Look. 93 00:10:19,916 --> 00:10:23,249 Our warriors died for our country. 94 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,249 Eternal umbrella! 95 00:10:27,916 --> 00:10:29,749 Not dead yet. 96 00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:34,957 Hi! 97 00:10:40,208 --> 00:10:42,040 Royal Secret Guards... 98 00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:46,249 love to drink Girlie's Red Wine. 99 00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:49,082 Girlie's Red Wine? What is the matter? 100 00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:50,624 Your Majesty, Girlie's Red... 101 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:53,249 is the company which sponsors Royal Dog's scientific research. 102 00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:56,249 The Eternal umbrella is made with their money. 103 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:59,207 I hate product placements in movies. 104 00:10:59,416 --> 00:11:00,124 Execute them! 105 00:11:00,291 --> 00:11:02,249 Yes. Your Majesty! 106 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:08,832 Royal Rat 107 00:11:09,208 --> 00:11:10,499 Your Majesty. 108 00:11:13,375 --> 00:11:14,957 Your Majesty wants to know... 109 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:18,249 where did you go last night? 110 00:11:18,458 --> 00:11:20,624 I... 111 00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:22,457 Royal Rat. 112 00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:26,790 You have been practising the "Mighty Iron Body" kung-fu, right? 113 00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:29,582 In case His Majesty is under attack, 114 00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:33,124 then you must use your Mighty Iron Body to shield His Majesty! 115 00:11:33,583 --> 00:11:36,957 Last night, you were still practising, 116 00:11:37,166 --> 00:11:38,874 so you didn't shield His Majesty, right? 117 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,624 Yes, Your Majesty. 118 00:11:40,791 --> 00:11:44,290 I guess that he went to the brothel last night instead of practising kung-fu. 119 00:11:44,541 --> 00:11:47,790 Yeah, why have they got clouds over their heads? 120 00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:52,374 Come on, let's drink... 121 00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:55,624 Royal Rat has been such a loyal servant. 122 00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:59,624 You will be rewarded with a thousand taels of gold, 123 00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:01,249 500 taels should be enough. 124 00:12:02,791 --> 00:12:06,040 Your Majesty, the other 500 taels, how about split it among us... 125 00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:07,457 as our reward? 126 00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:10,624 Last night, Royal Dog and Royal Tiger had worked hard to protect His Majesty. 127 00:12:10,916 --> 00:12:14,040 You two tell me how the money should be divided. 128 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,915 I just want to show Your Majesty my new invention. 129 00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:18,749 Another new invention? 130 00:12:18,916 --> 00:12:21,415 Okay, show it to me. 131 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,749 Your Majesty, this is my new invention... 132 00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:25,499 that will give you full protection. 133 00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:26,499 It's the impenetrable... 134 00:12:26,791 --> 00:12:28,290 Transformer armour. 135 00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:33,957 With this armour, even if all 12 of us are killed, 136 00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:35,207 no one can. . . 137 00:12:35,541 --> 00:12:36,832 ...hurt you. 138 00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:39,040 Really? 139 00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:40,332 Yes, Your Majesty. 140 00:12:40,541 --> 00:12:41,624 The beauty of this armour is that... 141 00:12:41,916 --> 00:12:43,415 even a person who doesn't know kung-fu, 142 00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:45,915 when he wears this, he will become a great kung-fu master. 143 00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:48,415 No one can stop him. 144 00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:50,957 Let me try this on... 145 00:12:53,458 --> 00:12:55,374 How does it feel, Your Majesty? 146 00:12:55,583 --> 00:12:58,415 It looks great, but it's too heavy. 147 00:12:58,625 --> 00:13:01,040 I can hardly walk at all. How could I fight? 148 00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:04,874 Your Majesty, with this armour, you don't have to fight at all. 149 00:13:05,041 --> 00:13:08,165 What are you doing? Be respectful. 150 00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:12,165 Your Majesty, when you turn this spring, 151 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,624 it will move on its own. 152 00:13:14,958 --> 00:13:16,207 How does it feel, Your Majesty? 153 00:13:16,375 --> 00:13:17,582 A bit itchy. 154 00:13:18,166 --> 00:13:20,915 Your Majesty, I will try harder. 155 00:13:24,083 --> 00:13:27,374 After wearing the helmet, you are ready to fight, Your Majesty. 156 00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:30,874 Let's go. 157 00:13:38,458 --> 00:13:40,832 That's fun... 158 00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:51,874 Royal Dog, what other functions does it have? 159 00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:54,874 Press the right button and Your Majesty can fly. 160 00:13:59,833 --> 00:14:01,749 Fly...that's awesome. I fly. . . 161 00:14:12,291 --> 00:14:13,874 It works. 162 00:14:14,958 --> 00:14:19,290 Fly... 163 00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:22,624 How does he come down? 164 00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:27,499 Royal Dog, I felt dizzy. How can I come down? 165 00:14:27,791 --> 00:14:29,749 Well, to descend from the sky... 166 00:14:29,916 --> 00:14:32,332 I haven't figured that out yet, Your Majesty. 167 00:14:32,541 --> 00:14:35,790 Never mind, I guess Your Majesty can bump against something and come down. 168 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:38,874 You're dead, Royal Dog, as soon as I come down. 169 00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:43,874 Royal Dog is in big trouble this time. 170 00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:45,332 His Majesty is coming this way. 171 00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:53,249 What a narrow escape! 172 00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:06,249 Oh no... 173 00:15:10,791 --> 00:15:12,290 Oh my armour... 174 00:15:13,916 --> 00:15:15,790 Your Majesty, my brother is just self-indulgent. 175 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,415 He doesn't mean to do you any harm. 176 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,290 And my brother has always been a weakling. 177 00:15:19,541 --> 00:15:21,165 He will die if Your Majesty keeps hitting him like that. 178 00:15:21,416 --> 00:15:23,540 Please pardon him, Your Majesty. 179 00:15:23,791 --> 00:15:25,332 His butt hurts, right? 180 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,040 Flip him over. 181 00:15:27,541 --> 00:15:30,624 The 500 taels of gold reward will be confiscated... 182 00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:33,707 and every one of you will be deducted 3 months' salary too. 183 00:15:51,541 --> 00:15:54,665 Am I seeing ghosts? 184 00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:03,624 Don't frighten me ! 185 00:16:03,708 --> 00:16:05,290 I am here. 186 00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:08,749 I don't mind you coming to see me, 187 00:16:08,958 --> 00:16:12,874 but why show up in the middle of the night and scare the hell out of me? 188 00:16:13,541 --> 00:16:15,374 What are you doing here, Faithfull? 189 00:16:15,625 --> 00:16:17,540 I come here to do your laundry. 190 00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:21,957 What laundry? 191 00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:26,624 You always let those punks do your laundry. 192 00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:28,457 How can they do it well? 193 00:16:28,625 --> 00:16:31,374 Although I am just your fiancee, 194 00:16:31,583 --> 00:16:33,332 I am willing to do your laundry. 195 00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:36,165 I have no objection to your doing my laundry, just... 196 00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:38,832 your parents oppose our marriage. 197 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,499 If I marry you, 198 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,874 they will bring me trouble. 199 00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:44,957 I am not scared though. 200 00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:49,124 What is this smell? 201 00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,290 Tell me, are you having affairs with other girls? 202 00:16:53,958 --> 00:16:56,374 There are maids in the palace. 203 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,290 It's common for those maids to... 204 00:16:58,541 --> 00:17:02,332 put on make-up, right? 205 00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:07,040 I like you because your thinking... 206 00:17:07,291 --> 00:17:10,124 is different from others. You are smart. 207 00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:13,624 A few days ago, you beat the assassins with rockets, 208 00:17:13,875 --> 00:17:16,540 everyone in the market is talking about it. 209 00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,832 Faithfull, if you are done with the laundry, 210 00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:21,374 please go home. 211 00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:23,082 If your parents know you are here, 212 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,290 they will rough me up. 213 00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:28,207 Don't be afraid, my kung-fu is better than them. 214 00:17:28,541 --> 00:17:29,624 I can protect you. 215 00:17:29,875 --> 00:17:30,624 Really? 216 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:31,707 No way. 217 00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:33,915 see, a daughter will always put... 218 00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:37,332 her husband before her parents after she gets married. 219 00:17:37,583 --> 00:17:39,957 Auntie, uncle, this is my place. 220 00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:41,499 This is not your place. 221 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:42,915 Will you please knock before barging in? 222 00:17:43,125 --> 00:17:44,374 We're used to barge in like this. Right. 223 00:17:44,625 --> 00:17:47,040 Otherwise how can I find you get naked and corrupt my daughter? 224 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,082 How could you say that? 225 00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:51,957 It's your daughter who barged in while I was bathing. 226 00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:53,499 Are you saying that she saw you naked... 227 00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:55,790 and she got horny and tried to rape you? 228 00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,707 Exactly. 229 00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:00,499 Mom and dad, are you done? 230 00:18:00,708 --> 00:18:03,540 You are still young. I am worried that you'll be cheated. 231 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,790 We are already engaged since birth. I don't mind being cheated. 232 00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:09,749 Baby, we won't force you to marry him. 233 00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:11,499 But I want to marry him. 234 00:18:11,708 --> 00:18:14,040 People will say that we are too autocratic. 235 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:16,415 Anyone who dares to say that, I will beat him up. 236 00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:18,124 The son of Master Yin is handsome. 237 00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:19,499 The son of General Hau is a nice fellow too. 238 00:18:19,708 --> 00:18:21,290 He's so damn rich. 239 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,957 Look at him, he's as poor as a church mouse. 240 00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:25,624 He'll be a wretched fellow his whole life. 241 00:18:25,875 --> 00:18:28,040 Auntie, uncle, please mind your words. 242 00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:30,249 I say what I think. So what? 243 00:18:33,041 --> 00:18:34,790 Auntie, uncle, please don't force me to fight against you. 244 00:18:34,958 --> 00:18:35,790 Force your hand? 245 00:18:35,958 --> 00:18:37,874 I am gonna beat you up, you punk... 246 00:18:38,041 --> 00:18:38,915 Come on over if you dare. 247 00:18:39,125 --> 00:18:40,499 Let me go. 248 00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:43,249 You good for nothing punk. We are here, how's that? 249 00:18:43,291 --> 00:18:44,749 Don't you dare stay here and not move. 250 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:45,790 Okay, we won't move then. 251 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,332 Whatever happens, you won't move. 252 00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:48,582 Of course. 253 00:18:48,916 --> 00:18:49,957 I won't move anyway. 254 00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:51,499 Just don't move then. 255 00:18:51,625 --> 00:18:53,915 Don't move! Let me tell you... Okay, how's that? 256 00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:54,749 Really? 257 00:18:54,958 --> 00:18:57,749 If you guys don't move, I can't do anything. 258 00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:05,624 What are you doing? 259 00:19:05,791 --> 00:19:07,249 Come and take a look... 260 00:19:07,791 --> 00:19:08,790 This one is wonderful. 261 00:19:08,958 --> 00:19:11,540 Do you know the air we breathe in are mostly useless gases, 262 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,624 except one useful gas calls "oxygen". 263 00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:17,624 According to the Western scholars, 2 units of certain elements... 264 00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:20,249 together with 1 unit of this "oxygen" will combine into water. 265 00:19:20,458 --> 00:19:22,374 smell it. 266 00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,249 Do you smell that? Isn't it refreshing... 267 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:28,749 smell again, you will feel great. 268 00:19:28,958 --> 00:19:31,290 Yes, it feels great. 269 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:35,332 You don't have to hit me though. 270 00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:37,957 The most wonderful thing is that... 271 00:19:38,375 --> 00:19:39,790 it will make the fire burn brighter. 272 00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:42,374 I am still working on it. 273 00:19:45,958 --> 00:19:47,165 Honey. 274 00:19:49,125 --> 00:19:52,332 We are not kids anymore, 275 00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:53,624 should we... 276 00:19:53,791 --> 00:19:55,499 Faithfull, if you want to say anything, 277 00:19:55,708 --> 00:19:57,207 please write it down and put it there. 278 00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:59,374 I will read it after the experiment. 279 00:20:02,208 --> 00:20:03,332 A few days ago, a friend of mine, 280 00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:06,707 brought me some liquid which can clean our hairs. 281 00:20:06,958 --> 00:20:09,749 I just can't use it without... 282 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,957 understanding what it consists of. Right? 283 00:20:12,208 --> 00:20:13,957 If someone uses it and his hairs become dry or... 284 00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:15,540 oily, or he gets dandruff... 285 00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:17,957 I would blame myself also. 286 00:20:18,208 --> 00:20:19,540 But my hairs look like this... 287 00:20:19,708 --> 00:20:21,207 after using this liquid. 288 00:20:21,541 --> 00:20:22,832 If you use this, 289 00:20:23,083 --> 00:20:24,707 your hairs will look like mine too. 290 00:20:58,166 --> 00:20:59,957 He is so late, it is already well past midday. 291 00:21:01,041 --> 00:21:02,457 Damn it! 292 00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:09,624 With my looks, I don't believe no one will fall for me. 293 00:21:12,083 --> 00:21:14,249 I am gonna dump him. 294 00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:18,290 Handsome guy! 295 00:21:19,166 --> 00:21:20,790 Wanna have lunch with me? 296 00:21:21,166 --> 00:21:23,457 It's so disgusting. Leave her alone. 297 00:21:23,791 --> 00:21:24,790 Let's go. 298 00:21:28,916 --> 00:21:31,874 You made me lose face, I am gonna kill you. 299 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,249 I am so mad. 300 00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:45,707 Are you okay, miss? 301 00:21:46,625 --> 00:21:47,915 I am fine. 302 00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:49,624 Let's go! 303 00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:55,415 There's a handsome guy. 304 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:18,290 Bro, what's wrong with that girl? 305 00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:19,832 Don't be nosy. 306 00:22:20,041 --> 00:22:21,624 Waiter. Yes. 307 00:22:21,833 --> 00:22:24,165 3 dishes and a soup, please hurry. 308 00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:28,499 Alright, how about deep fried spareribs, braised chicken, 309 00:22:28,791 --> 00:22:31,874 boneless fish and soup of the day. 310 00:22:31,916 --> 00:22:33,040 What do you think? 311 00:22:34,541 --> 00:22:37,624 As the dishes are ready, let's eat then. 312 00:22:48,208 --> 00:22:49,332 Fight! 313 00:23:00,916 --> 00:23:04,124 Great move! 314 00:23:10,375 --> 00:23:11,457 Good! 315 00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:33,374 Stop! 316 00:23:34,291 --> 00:23:37,457 You scums, you couldn't even beat two punks . 317 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,790 No meals for you guys today. 318 00:23:40,458 --> 00:23:42,707 Are you the children of Mr. Yuen? 319 00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:46,457 Every one is Mr. Yuen's child. He loved the people like his own children. 320 00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:50,082 Young people are stubborn. 321 00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:04,707 This eunuch is a superb kung-fu master. 322 00:24:04,916 --> 00:24:07,165 They are not his equal, they will be dead for sure. 323 00:24:58,458 --> 00:24:59,582 Its so powerful! 324 00:25:19,875 --> 00:25:23,332 Let's meet up tomorrow lunch. 325 00:25:27,250 --> 00:25:28,874 What a potent poison. 326 00:25:29,583 --> 00:25:32,249 I have to drive the poison out for him. 327 00:25:35,166 --> 00:25:36,915 But unmarried men and women must not touch each other. 328 00:25:37,125 --> 00:25:40,207 If I take off his clothes, I will be looked upon as a slut... 329 00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:45,040 Let me pass my "life-force" to him through the mouth. 330 00:25:48,083 --> 00:25:50,040 Am I out of my mind? 331 00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:51,957 I am still a virgin. 332 00:25:52,125 --> 00:25:54,874 If I kiss his mouth, then I will have to marry him. 333 00:25:59,833 --> 00:26:03,540 But he is so handsome. Marrying him is not a bad idea. 334 00:26:03,708 --> 00:26:06,165 Alright, then! 335 00:26:11,125 --> 00:26:13,415 No way! 336 00:26:18,708 --> 00:26:22,790 How come he looks so handsome, but his chest is... 337 00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:24,624 so soft? 338 00:26:26,541 --> 00:26:28,207 He's a girl? 339 00:26:29,625 --> 00:26:31,957 It'll be great if he's a guy. 340 00:26:32,416 --> 00:26:34,457 I will have to heal her. 341 00:26:35,416 --> 00:26:37,957 Honey, you are back? 342 00:26:38,583 --> 00:26:40,290 I am back. 343 00:26:42,291 --> 00:26:44,832 I am so exhausted. I need to sleep. 344 00:26:45,916 --> 00:26:48,165 We are going to sleep too. 345 00:26:51,041 --> 00:26:53,832 Mom and dad, I am getting changed. 346 00:26:54,041 --> 00:26:55,582 Did you hide a guy on your bed? 347 00:26:55,791 --> 00:26:57,040 Of course not. 348 00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,790 show it to me. 349 00:26:59,958 --> 00:27:01,749 Who dares to get on my bed? 350 00:27:02,041 --> 00:27:03,207 Is it that punk? 351 00:27:03,416 --> 00:27:04,165 Royal Dog? 352 00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:06,374 I have dumped him a long time ago. 353 00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:07,707 That's good. 354 00:27:08,458 --> 00:27:10,249 I'd like to sleep with you tonight. 355 00:27:10,416 --> 00:27:12,040 Mom, you are getting REAL fat lately. 356 00:27:12,208 --> 00:27:14,332 We can't sleep in this bed together. 357 00:27:15,166 --> 00:27:16,624 That punk must be on the bed. 358 00:27:16,833 --> 00:27:17,290 No. 359 00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:19,124 Yes. No. 360 00:27:19,333 --> 00:27:20,749 I swear that if he's here, I will put on 10 catty each day. 361 00:27:20,916 --> 00:27:22,249 But if he's not here, you will get 10 years older each day. 362 00:27:22,416 --> 00:27:23,624 If he's here, you'll have to listen to me. 363 00:27:23,833 --> 00:27:25,624 If he's not here, you'll have to listen to me too. 364 00:27:25,833 --> 00:27:28,624 That's the deal. That's the deal. 365 00:27:28,833 --> 00:27:30,165 Auntie, uncle. 366 00:27:32,916 --> 00:27:34,165 Why are you here? 367 00:27:34,958 --> 00:27:38,707 Mom, you have to listen to me from now on. 368 00:27:40,541 --> 00:27:41,957 I come to apologize to Faithfull. 369 00:27:42,250 --> 00:27:44,415 she won't forgive you. 370 00:27:44,625 --> 00:27:47,040 Even if she does, I won't forgive you anyway. 371 00:27:47,625 --> 00:27:49,624 Uncle, I am a straight talking guy. 372 00:27:49,833 --> 00:27:51,415 Please forgive me, 373 00:27:51,625 --> 00:27:52,957 if I say something to offend you. 374 00:27:53,166 --> 00:27:55,707 I can do that. I will not get upset easily. 375 00:27:55,916 --> 00:27:58,624 Uncle, you are so mean and nasty. 376 00:27:58,875 --> 00:28:00,915 I don't care if you don't forgive me. 377 00:28:01,208 --> 00:28:04,040 Faithfull is so nice to me, I don't want to upset her. 378 00:28:04,958 --> 00:28:06,249 What do you want? 379 00:28:19,041 --> 00:28:22,790 Thanks for saving me. Why did you laugh with tears flowing down your face? 380 00:28:22,958 --> 00:28:25,790 My fiance is confessing his love, keep quiet. 381 00:28:25,958 --> 00:28:28,249 Uncle, didn't you say you will not easily get upset? 382 00:28:28,541 --> 00:28:29,790 I am not upset... 383 00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:32,207 I am very very upset. 384 00:28:33,625 --> 00:28:35,624 Miss, will you do me a favour? 385 00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:39,790 Uncle, will you please stop hitting me? 386 00:28:40,083 --> 00:28:41,374 I have a gift for you. 387 00:28:44,875 --> 00:28:46,624 What gift? What is it? 388 00:28:46,875 --> 00:28:47,582 With this, 389 00:28:47,791 --> 00:28:50,165 you don't have to squat in the toilet anymore. 390 00:28:50,416 --> 00:28:52,499 I can lead the water from the mountain to here. 391 00:28:52,750 --> 00:28:54,915 And flush away the excrements. 392 00:28:55,166 --> 00:28:58,207 Going to the toilet will henceforth be an enjoyment. 393 00:28:58,791 --> 00:28:59,540 How do you call this? 394 00:28:59,708 --> 00:29:00,874 Dragon and Phoenix bucket. 395 00:29:01,041 --> 00:29:01,915 sounds weird. 396 00:29:02,125 --> 00:29:03,540 Then what will you call it? 397 00:29:03,750 --> 00:29:05,290 Hero bucket. Beauty bucket. 398 00:29:05,625 --> 00:29:07,790 It's your invention, just call it Dog bucket. 399 00:29:08,208 --> 00:29:09,457 How about Shit bucket? 400 00:29:09,625 --> 00:29:11,957 You should use a better name. 401 00:29:12,166 --> 00:29:13,415 Just call it commode. 402 00:29:13,625 --> 00:29:15,790 You are great, just call it commode. 403 00:29:16,041 --> 00:29:18,540 Yeah. Right. 404 00:29:20,833 --> 00:29:23,957 How do you do, auntie and uncle? 405 00:29:24,541 --> 00:29:25,749 Who are you? 406 00:29:26,041 --> 00:29:27,957 He's my man. 407 00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:30,499 Honey, do you fool around? 408 00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:34,415 He the prince of Big-Eaters-land, his name is Brad Pitt. 409 00:29:35,041 --> 00:29:37,040 What? 410 00:29:37,958 --> 00:29:40,957 I fall in love with your daughter at first sight. 411 00:29:41,166 --> 00:29:43,915 I beg uncle and auntie to concur with our marriage. 412 00:29:46,583 --> 00:29:48,707 Prince. 413 00:29:49,166 --> 00:29:51,040 Faithfull. 414 00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:52,957 You... 415 00:29:53,291 --> 00:29:54,624 I have other suitors. 416 00:29:54,791 --> 00:29:57,415 Even if you don't want me, I can marry someone else. 417 00:29:58,416 --> 00:30:00,124 That's right. 418 00:30:01,125 --> 00:30:04,707 Your Highness, please treat her... 419 00:30:04,958 --> 00:30:06,749 well. 420 00:30:07,250 --> 00:30:08,624 He's cute. 421 00:30:08,791 --> 00:30:10,832 Don't you mind hurting him so much? 422 00:30:11,041 --> 00:30:13,540 Oh please, of course I mind. It hurts like hell. 423 00:30:13,750 --> 00:30:14,957 But if I don't hurt him, he won't appreciate how much I love him. 424 00:30:15,291 --> 00:30:16,957 He will think that I am going to stay with him forever. 425 00:30:19,166 --> 00:30:21,040 Then I'd better go. 426 00:30:23,833 --> 00:30:27,165 I do wish to beat him up, but I can't. 427 00:30:27,291 --> 00:30:29,624 A gentleman must control his emotions. 428 00:30:29,833 --> 00:30:33,207 I must not cry, I should smile... 429 00:30:35,541 --> 00:30:38,332 Hey, Royal Dog, you'd better watch out. 430 00:30:38,541 --> 00:30:41,415 Be careful, or you will fall off the mountain. 431 00:30:42,916 --> 00:30:43,915 Don't worry. 432 00:30:44,166 --> 00:30:46,582 I am so damn unlucky that even misfortunes will stay away from me. 433 00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:47,832 Thanks. 434 00:30:53,416 --> 00:30:55,332 That's pathetic. 435 00:30:57,291 --> 00:30:59,457 You look awful. 436 00:30:59,625 --> 00:31:02,207 You are not a man, why should I care? 437 00:31:02,416 --> 00:31:04,165 Go home and sleep. 438 00:31:08,041 --> 00:31:09,040 That's pathetic... 439 00:31:09,250 --> 00:31:11,874 Brother, if people see you cry like a baby... That's pathetic... 440 00:31:12,208 --> 00:31:13,874 they won't respect us Royal Secret Guards. 441 00:31:14,625 --> 00:31:15,874 I am deeply hurt, so I cried like a baby. 442 00:31:16,083 --> 00:31:19,415 We are the idols for many palace maids. 443 00:31:19,625 --> 00:31:23,207 Every move of ours can drive them crazy. 444 00:31:23,416 --> 00:31:24,499 Really? 445 00:31:24,750 --> 00:31:26,874 You don't believe me? Come on, bro. 446 00:31:41,625 --> 00:31:42,957 Come on 447 00:32:06,958 --> 00:32:08,124 That's a bit over the top. 448 00:32:08,375 --> 00:32:10,124 Such bad taste. 449 00:32:10,333 --> 00:32:11,624 Come on! 450 00:32:11,791 --> 00:32:14,165 Bro, your crying over a heart-broken 451 00:32:14,375 --> 00:32:15,749 that will make us lose face. 452 00:32:15,958 --> 00:32:18,374 As Royal Secret Guards , besides protecting the emperor, 453 00:32:18,625 --> 00:32:20,790 we have to keep the world in peace and the universe in unison. 454 00:32:21,041 --> 00:32:22,124 Even if a monster from outer space falls down from the sky, 455 00:32:22,375 --> 00:32:24,332 we will fix that, too. 456 00:32:25,125 --> 00:32:27,290 You look like a monster now. 457 00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:28,540 I can take that. 458 00:32:28,916 --> 00:32:29,915 Let us be frank, 459 00:32:30,208 --> 00:32:32,040 we are just security guards in the palace. 460 00:32:32,250 --> 00:32:35,124 Royal Secret Guards my foot... Bro, security guards are humans too. 461 00:32:35,375 --> 00:32:37,165 I guess you are suffering from an inferiority complex 462 00:32:37,458 --> 00:32:38,457 Go to see the imperial doctor. 463 00:32:38,583 --> 00:32:40,499 The imperial doctor won't give a damn about us. 464 00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:42,582 Just go have a herbal drink. It will also cure you. 465 00:32:42,875 --> 00:32:43,790 Go... 466 00:32:43,958 --> 00:32:45,874 I better go home and take a bath. 467 00:32:47,750 --> 00:32:49,707 Assassin! Fetch our buddies, go! 468 00:32:52,166 --> 00:32:54,915 There... 469 00:32:58,041 --> 00:32:59,790 Your Highness, I am Royal Tiger. 470 00:32:59,958 --> 00:33:02,165 It's okay, it's the Royal Secret Guards. 471 00:33:22,041 --> 00:33:23,290 Enjoy watching it? 472 00:33:24,500 --> 00:33:26,165 Of course. 473 00:33:26,750 --> 00:33:29,457 so gorgeous; so charming... 474 00:33:29,625 --> 00:33:31,457 so beautiful; so bewitching... 475 00:33:31,750 --> 00:33:34,249 No words can truly describe the beauty of Your Highness. 476 00:33:37,333 --> 00:33:41,749 No wonder Mom told me that all men are liars. 477 00:33:42,250 --> 00:33:43,332 Please forgive me Your Highness. 478 00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:46,582 I am not being frivolous. 479 00:33:47,083 --> 00:33:50,124 Your Highness, I see someone enter the palace. 480 00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:51,874 This place is not safe. 481 00:33:52,083 --> 00:33:54,707 Your Highness, please go back to your chamber. 482 00:33:54,916 --> 00:33:57,915 You are the best of the Royal Secret Guards. 483 00:33:58,375 --> 00:34:01,624 I should be safe with you around, right? 484 00:34:01,833 --> 00:34:04,499 I will give up my life to protect Your Highness. 485 00:34:05,166 --> 00:34:06,499 It's okay! 486 00:34:08,541 --> 00:34:10,790 Get up, stay and have a chat with me. 487 00:34:22,166 --> 00:34:25,249 I never expect that... 488 00:34:25,458 --> 00:34:27,499 Your Majesty's daughter, Princess Rainbow, is so popular. 489 00:34:28,291 --> 00:34:30,749 Because she looks like me. 490 00:34:30,958 --> 00:34:34,749 The problem is that the four princes come at the same time. 491 00:34:34,958 --> 00:34:37,332 Whom should we let her marry? 492 00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:40,332 Who are they? 493 00:34:40,541 --> 00:34:42,040 Prince Nectar from Sindhu. 494 00:34:42,250 --> 00:34:43,457 Prince Falcon from Tazik. 495 00:34:43,750 --> 00:34:45,707 Prince Smart from Izumo. 496 00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:49,124 And Tokugawa Takuya, the younger son of General Tokugawa from Japan. 497 00:34:49,375 --> 00:34:52,124 Your Majesty, the situation is very delicate. 498 00:34:52,458 --> 00:34:55,957 We must not endanger the good relationship we have with these countries. 499 00:34:56,125 --> 00:34:58,499 I think so too. 500 00:34:58,833 --> 00:35:02,749 That is why I come to discuss it with you two. 501 00:35:03,583 --> 00:35:05,749 I do have an idea. 502 00:35:05,958 --> 00:35:10,374 Let's hold a competition to decide who will marry Princess Rainbow. 503 00:35:11,333 --> 00:35:15,749 They must compete with each other. 504 00:35:16,583 --> 00:35:20,790 The winner will be our son-in-law. 505 00:35:21,041 --> 00:35:22,540 That's a good idea. 506 00:35:22,750 --> 00:35:24,957 Your Majesty, give me a million taels of gold to buy new clothes. 507 00:35:25,250 --> 00:35:26,749 You had already bought a lot of new clothes yesterday. 508 00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:29,249 Your Majesty, the idea is good. 509 00:35:29,458 --> 00:35:33,082 But the one who comes last... 510 00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:35,957 would feel humiliated. 511 00:35:36,250 --> 00:35:38,374 so I suggest we also send two of our men to enter the competition. 512 00:35:38,625 --> 00:35:41,790 But they must come last, so that the princes will not be humiliated. 513 00:35:42,041 --> 00:35:43,457 Yeah...that's a good idea. 514 00:35:43,750 --> 00:35:44,915 That's a better idea than buying new clothes. 515 00:35:45,333 --> 00:35:47,749 What should we call the competition? 516 00:35:47,958 --> 00:35:52,082 How about "Princes Got Talent"? 517 00:35:52,291 --> 00:35:53,707 No, that is not good. 518 00:35:53,875 --> 00:35:56,957 How about "The Idol Prince"? 519 00:35:59,875 --> 00:36:01,499 "Princes Got Talent" is a good name. 520 00:36:01,625 --> 00:36:02,707 "The Idol Prince" is better. 521 00:36:02,958 --> 00:36:03,874 "Princes Got Talent" is the best. 522 00:36:04,041 --> 00:36:05,124 "The Idol Prince" is better than the best. 523 00:36:05,750 --> 00:36:08,249 Why do you have to go against me all the time? 524 00:36:08,458 --> 00:36:10,624 Let's call it the Perfect Husband of Princess Rainbow Competition! 525 00:36:12,458 --> 00:36:15,290 Perfect Husband of Princess Rainbow? 526 00:36:15,500 --> 00:36:16,540 Great! 527 00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:24,624 Buy new clothes, I need to buy new clothes... 528 00:36:24,875 --> 00:36:26,415 If I don't kill him now, I won't have another chance. 529 00:36:30,958 --> 00:36:31,957 Looks like an assassin. 530 00:36:32,166 --> 00:36:32,915 Your Majesty, I need to go to the toilet... 531 00:36:33,125 --> 00:36:34,374 Your Majesty, he's gone. 532 00:36:37,583 --> 00:36:40,249 Protect the emperor! 533 00:37:03,833 --> 00:37:05,374 This assassin is a good fighter. 534 00:37:05,541 --> 00:37:07,082 I think Ip Man is a better fighter. 535 00:37:07,875 --> 00:37:08,957 Who is Ip Man? 536 00:37:14,375 --> 00:37:18,957 I let you off yesterday, now you come again? 537 00:37:56,416 --> 00:37:57,624 Heart-protecting armour? 538 00:38:12,250 --> 00:38:16,749 Ducky...l am heart broken. 539 00:38:19,833 --> 00:38:22,874 Iron the clothes, then take a shower again. 540 00:38:23,041 --> 00:38:25,624 Then have a cup of herbal tea, again. 541 00:38:43,625 --> 00:38:45,499 He's got a great body. 542 00:38:45,625 --> 00:38:47,290 What am I thinking? 543 00:38:48,541 --> 00:38:52,249 That assassin flew high and fast. 544 00:38:52,458 --> 00:38:53,957 His kung-fu must be very good... 545 00:38:54,291 --> 00:38:55,582 I have nothing to do with. 546 00:38:55,958 --> 00:38:57,124 You! Dead mouse... What? 547 00:38:57,416 --> 00:39:01,624 Where's spring? 548 00:39:01,833 --> 00:39:04,415 Spring is here. 549 00:39:06,416 --> 00:39:07,540 Bro. 550 00:39:08,625 --> 00:39:12,082 You just told me to catch the assassin. 551 00:39:12,333 --> 00:39:14,332 Why did you become so... 552 00:39:15,416 --> 00:39:17,040 flirtatious all of a sudden? 553 00:39:19,083 --> 00:39:20,332 He has fallen in love. 554 00:39:20,541 --> 00:39:21,832 Are you sure? 555 00:39:22,750 --> 00:39:24,332 This is how he feels to be in love? 556 00:39:24,541 --> 00:39:25,915 Of course, take a look. 557 00:39:26,083 --> 00:39:27,707 If a person does or says revolting things... 558 00:39:27,916 --> 00:39:29,582 but does not feel embarrassed at all, 559 00:39:29,916 --> 00:39:31,582 then he or she is in love. 560 00:39:33,708 --> 00:39:35,957 He's changing too fast though. 561 00:39:39,208 --> 00:39:42,540 Lord Unicorn, it is our honour to welcome Your Honour here. 562 00:39:42,875 --> 00:39:44,165 Anything I can help? 563 00:39:44,333 --> 00:39:46,124 Catch the assassin. 564 00:39:48,916 --> 00:39:51,707 As Royal Secret Guards, our mission is to fall in love, no... 565 00:39:51,875 --> 00:39:53,082 to woo the Princess...no... 566 00:39:53,333 --> 00:39:55,332 to protect the emperor against His Majesty's enemies. 567 00:39:55,708 --> 00:39:57,707 Now Your Honour came here to catch the assassin, 568 00:39:57,875 --> 00:40:00,249 are you accusing us of sheltering the assassin? 569 00:40:00,791 --> 00:40:05,082 It's hard to say. This is a strange world. 570 00:40:05,500 --> 00:40:08,707 I think it is much ado about nothing. 571 00:40:09,375 --> 00:40:12,790 Yes, so what? 572 00:40:12,958 --> 00:40:15,082 Calm down, we are all on the same side. 573 00:40:15,291 --> 00:40:16,499 Hold it, who says you're on my side? 574 00:40:16,708 --> 00:40:18,499 He used to talk in this manner. 575 00:40:18,958 --> 00:40:20,582 He is a sissy. You pig! 576 00:40:22,875 --> 00:40:25,832 The Icy Palm martial art is nothing special. 577 00:40:27,208 --> 00:40:29,124 Just a bit chilly. 578 00:40:59,416 --> 00:41:01,207 Yeah, you don't have. 579 00:41:32,375 --> 00:41:34,040 Bro, watch out! 580 00:41:34,250 --> 00:41:35,582 Who is fighting out there? 581 00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:53,624 Close the door. 582 00:41:57,625 --> 00:41:58,499 Close the windows. 583 00:42:00,458 --> 00:42:01,790 Turn off the light. 584 00:42:03,375 --> 00:42:04,290 Release the dogs. 585 00:42:04,500 --> 00:42:05,915 Huh? That would mean I release myself? 586 00:42:11,583 --> 00:42:14,082 How come I can hear two persons' heartbeats? 587 00:42:35,625 --> 00:42:38,749 The juice of firefly--- even the blind could see that. 588 00:42:38,958 --> 00:42:41,957 You coward, where are you? 589 00:42:42,583 --> 00:42:44,124 There is no one here. 590 00:42:44,375 --> 00:42:46,124 You coward. 591 00:42:51,333 --> 00:42:52,957 You can't beat me. 592 00:42:54,541 --> 00:42:57,749 The mighty stick that can beat the hell out of you. 593 00:43:00,500 --> 00:43:02,290 Attack me behind my back? 594 00:43:08,083 --> 00:43:11,749 self-ventilating impenetrable armour. 595 00:43:14,208 --> 00:43:16,207 My hand... 596 00:43:21,375 --> 00:43:22,790 Again? 597 00:43:25,958 --> 00:43:27,374 So big? 598 00:43:27,541 --> 00:43:30,332 I will beat the shit out of you. 599 00:43:35,250 --> 00:43:36,624 The Fire Kick. 600 00:43:45,875 --> 00:43:48,790 BBQ Pork Knuckles! 601 00:43:51,750 --> 00:43:54,082 It's done, that's it for today. 602 00:43:55,750 --> 00:43:57,165 Bro. 603 00:43:57,458 --> 00:43:59,082 I not to be blamed for this. 604 00:43:59,875 --> 00:44:01,124 It is your new invention? 605 00:44:01,250 --> 00:44:02,749 Obviously. 606 00:44:03,416 --> 00:44:05,124 I am relieved that you are fine. 607 00:44:05,625 --> 00:44:07,749 Don't worry, I already chased him away. 608 00:44:07,916 --> 00:44:08,874 Why are you so cool? 609 00:44:09,083 --> 00:44:11,957 No, I am not cool. I am just knowledgeable about science. 610 00:44:12,875 --> 00:44:14,540 Alright, how long are you going to hug me like this? 611 00:44:14,750 --> 00:44:16,790 Don't move now. 612 00:44:16,958 --> 00:44:17,749 Bro... 613 00:44:17,916 --> 00:44:19,957 Thank you for kicking that old wizard out. 614 00:44:20,125 --> 00:44:22,124 Otherwise, we Royal Secret Guards will lose face. 615 00:44:22,333 --> 00:44:24,707 I am afraid that he will accuse us of sheltering the assassin. 616 00:44:25,375 --> 00:44:27,707 No, he won't. 617 00:44:27,875 --> 00:44:29,749 He will be ashamed if everybody knows what happens tonight. 618 00:44:29,958 --> 00:44:30,707 Right! 619 00:44:30,875 --> 00:44:31,874 Assassin! 620 00:44:32,166 --> 00:44:33,332 No... 621 00:44:33,583 --> 00:44:35,540 Brad Pitt? 622 00:44:36,291 --> 00:44:37,749 Why are you coming out from there? 623 00:44:37,916 --> 00:44:39,499 I come here to watch you... 624 00:44:39,750 --> 00:44:40,874 No, I... 625 00:44:41,125 --> 00:44:42,374 I come to see you. 626 00:44:42,583 --> 00:44:43,749 Who is he? 627 00:44:49,958 --> 00:44:52,207 He's the man Faithfull loves. 628 00:44:52,708 --> 00:44:54,707 He's called Brad Pitt. 629 00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:56,207 You are the guy... 630 00:44:58,875 --> 00:45:02,374 Royal Dog, although I want Faithfull to love me more, 631 00:45:02,708 --> 00:45:04,957 I know now that you also love her deeply. 632 00:45:05,208 --> 00:45:07,374 so we can have a fair duel and see who wins her heart. 633 00:45:07,583 --> 00:45:09,540 You want to fight, punk? 634 00:45:11,250 --> 00:45:12,707 No violence. 635 00:45:14,125 --> 00:45:17,832 Okay, I accept your challenge. 636 00:45:31,583 --> 00:45:33,124 Who are you? 637 00:45:33,375 --> 00:45:34,874 I am your substitute. 638 00:45:42,458 --> 00:45:43,540 Who are you? 639 00:45:46,458 --> 00:45:49,082 I will use your identity to kill the Chinese emperor. 640 00:45:49,250 --> 00:45:51,457 I will avenge the death of my buddies. 641 00:45:52,458 --> 00:45:56,165 sister, this is our chance of staging a coup d'etat. 642 00:45:56,333 --> 00:45:58,832 Why should we stage a coup d'etat? 643 00:45:59,083 --> 00:46:00,332 Haven't you got money? I have a lot. 644 00:46:00,541 --> 00:46:02,165 Have you no woman? I have dozens. 645 00:46:02,333 --> 00:46:04,582 The emperor doesn't have a single penny in his pocket. 646 00:46:04,750 --> 00:46:05,874 And I am the only woman he has. 647 00:46:06,083 --> 00:46:07,832 He's bullied by me everyday. 648 00:46:10,708 --> 00:46:12,499 I think he's pathetic. 649 00:46:12,708 --> 00:46:14,249 Why do you want to take his place? 650 00:46:14,458 --> 00:46:15,540 Well, what else can I do now, 651 00:46:15,750 --> 00:46:17,707 other than staging a coup d'etat and be emperor myself? 652 00:46:17,916 --> 00:46:18,582 Leopard. 653 00:46:18,750 --> 00:46:19,582 Your Highness. 654 00:46:19,833 --> 00:46:21,832 Kill Prince Nectar, 655 00:46:22,166 --> 00:46:24,749 and also the emperor and Lord Unicorn. 656 00:46:25,083 --> 00:46:26,624 Then we will have absolute power. 657 00:46:26,833 --> 00:46:28,040 What about me? 658 00:46:28,208 --> 00:46:32,499 I will give you the title The supreme Beauty of the Kingdom. 659 00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:36,832 I love the new title. 660 00:46:37,041 --> 00:46:39,249 Let's overthrow the emperor then. 661 00:46:39,625 --> 00:46:43,790 Ha...OK... 662 00:46:46,791 --> 00:46:48,707 Royal Secret Guards, order! 663 00:46:49,208 --> 00:46:52,124 Today, four princes will arrive at the Imperial City to participate in the competition. 664 00:46:52,375 --> 00:46:55,040 To maintain good relationship with our neighbouring countries, 665 00:46:55,208 --> 00:46:57,707 We need to pick two men to enter the competition as well. 666 00:46:57,916 --> 00:47:00,124 One MUST win, 667 00:47:00,333 --> 00:47:03,749 and the other MUST come in last. 668 00:47:04,416 --> 00:47:07,207 Your Majesty, this is a difficult and dangerous mission. 669 00:47:07,416 --> 00:47:10,457 It needs to be handled well. 670 00:47:10,625 --> 00:47:13,040 With your permission, I will take this mission... 671 00:47:13,375 --> 00:47:14,624 for my fellow guards. 672 00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,457 Royal Rat, you are a loyal servant. 673 00:47:17,833 --> 00:47:18,582 You will join the competition. 674 00:47:18,958 --> 00:47:19,915 Thank You, Your Majesty. 675 00:47:20,083 --> 00:47:21,457 Just pick the worst Guard to be the one... 676 00:47:21,625 --> 00:47:23,707 who will take the fall in the competition. 677 00:47:24,166 --> 00:47:25,374 Him! 678 00:47:25,583 --> 00:47:27,249 HIM? 679 00:47:27,583 --> 00:47:28,499 Your Majesty, 680 00:47:28,708 --> 00:47:30,582 in such an important competition, we need to have a substitute ready... 681 00:47:30,791 --> 00:47:33,040 in case of accidents. 682 00:47:34,208 --> 00:47:35,707 Alright, just pick someone... 683 00:47:35,916 --> 00:47:37,124 to be the substitute. 684 00:47:37,458 --> 00:47:38,582 Who wants to volunteer? 685 00:47:40,750 --> 00:47:42,749 Thanks, bro. 686 00:47:42,958 --> 00:47:44,415 Thanks, Your Majesty. 687 00:47:44,583 --> 00:47:46,040 What? 688 00:47:50,541 --> 00:47:51,624 I am just the substitute. 689 00:47:51,833 --> 00:47:54,790 If nobody gets injured or sick, There'll be no need to be in the competition. 690 00:47:58,625 --> 00:48:00,165 Am I not rolling down fast? 691 00:48:00,375 --> 00:48:01,499 Kids, don't try this at home. 692 00:48:01,750 --> 00:48:04,165 I am a trained professional. 693 00:48:04,458 --> 00:48:05,957 He seem to be in great pain. 694 00:48:06,458 --> 00:48:07,582 Stop bugging me, okay? 695 00:48:07,750 --> 00:48:09,165 Alright. 696 00:48:10,833 --> 00:48:12,915 See, I am now crippled. 697 00:48:13,166 --> 00:48:15,290 Royal Dog, let me warn you, 698 00:48:15,541 --> 00:48:17,082 you are supposed to lose in the competition. 699 00:48:17,333 --> 00:48:20,957 You have to stay in the competition to the end no matter what happens. 700 00:48:30,583 --> 00:48:33,457 I can't move, I am crippled! 701 00:48:34,208 --> 00:48:36,249 Can he roll like that again? 702 00:48:37,375 --> 00:48:38,624 attack me from behind my back... 703 00:48:38,875 --> 00:48:41,874 I won't let you get away with this. 704 00:48:44,083 --> 00:48:46,040 Rainbow. 705 00:48:46,208 --> 00:48:48,624 Are you having wet dreams even in day time? 706 00:48:50,250 --> 00:48:53,915 Get through the door, and there's another door. 707 00:48:54,166 --> 00:48:54,790 Are you dreaming? 708 00:48:54,958 --> 00:48:56,332 How do you know? 709 00:48:57,833 --> 00:48:58,957 Rainbow? 710 00:49:00,416 --> 00:49:01,790 Your Highness. 711 00:49:02,166 --> 00:49:04,040 Get up. 712 00:49:05,458 --> 00:49:06,832 What are you guys looking at? 713 00:49:07,041 --> 00:49:07,749 Your room. 714 00:49:07,958 --> 00:49:09,290 No. 715 00:49:09,541 --> 00:49:12,290 We are working out how to protect His Majesty. 716 00:49:15,291 --> 00:49:18,082 I heard that the four princes are staying at the hotel outside the Forbidden City, right? 717 00:49:18,250 --> 00:49:18,874 Yes. 718 00:49:19,041 --> 00:49:22,749 Royal Dog and I will go and meet them at the hotel. 719 00:49:23,375 --> 00:49:24,540 I want to go too. 720 00:49:24,750 --> 00:49:26,832 I'd like to see what they look like. 721 00:49:27,041 --> 00:49:29,582 Your Highness, you can't ... 722 00:49:30,625 --> 00:49:32,165 meet those princes... 723 00:49:32,500 --> 00:49:33,540 in private... 724 00:49:33,708 --> 00:49:36,624 Your Highness has to get permission from His Majesty. 725 00:49:37,583 --> 00:49:40,499 I won't ask you if I have to ask for His Majesty's permission. 726 00:49:40,708 --> 00:49:42,040 Come over here... 727 00:49:42,416 --> 00:49:45,165 I will get changed and go out with you guys. 728 00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:46,874 How's that? 729 00:49:47,416 --> 00:49:51,540 The palace guards will recognise us. 730 00:49:51,833 --> 00:49:54,249 They will see thru our scheme. 731 00:49:57,750 --> 00:49:59,457 I thought you liked me. 732 00:49:59,750 --> 00:50:02,624 Now I know you don't. 733 00:50:03,916 --> 00:50:05,165 Of course I like you... 734 00:50:05,416 --> 00:50:06,707 I... 735 00:50:09,041 --> 00:50:11,124 I send you flowers. 736 00:50:12,375 --> 00:50:14,540 Then you should think of a way to get me there. 737 00:50:21,166 --> 00:50:21,874 You... 738 00:50:22,083 --> 00:50:23,332 take off your clothes. 739 00:50:29,708 --> 00:50:31,957 Will they believe it or not? 740 00:50:50,166 --> 00:50:51,332 Who are they? 741 00:50:51,583 --> 00:50:53,749 Those foreign princes are having a fight. 742 00:50:55,166 --> 00:50:57,332 They are all very ugly. 743 00:50:57,541 --> 00:51:01,332 Look, one of them almost lost all his hair. 744 00:51:01,875 --> 00:51:03,499 That's lousy. 745 00:51:08,458 --> 00:51:11,582 They are so ugly, I don't want to marry any of them. 746 00:51:12,208 --> 00:51:14,624 I thought there were four of them. Why are there only three princes? 747 00:51:14,833 --> 00:51:16,207 Where is the other one? 748 00:51:21,208 --> 00:51:23,124 Brad Pitt? 749 00:51:23,541 --> 00:51:25,124 He is so handsome. 750 00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:28,457 Hold me. 751 00:51:38,250 --> 00:51:40,332 He is so charismatic. 752 00:51:48,958 --> 00:51:50,707 How dare you, Brad? 753 00:51:50,875 --> 00:51:52,332 Faithfull loves you so much. 754 00:51:52,625 --> 00:51:53,957 How can you ever want to marry the Princess? 755 00:51:54,166 --> 00:51:55,874 Faithfull will be heart-broken. 756 00:51:56,083 --> 00:51:58,165 A man should sow his seeds when he is young. 757 00:51:58,333 --> 00:52:00,457 Besides, it's my father's instructions. 758 00:52:00,708 --> 00:52:02,582 I can't disobey my father. 759 00:52:03,041 --> 00:52:05,332 I forgot to tell you, 760 00:52:05,541 --> 00:52:06,957 they used to call me Prince Handsome. 761 00:52:07,208 --> 00:52:10,915 Faithfull likes to call me Handsome too. 762 00:52:11,541 --> 00:52:14,707 Don't fool around because you are born handsome. 763 00:52:24,625 --> 00:52:26,207 Can you stop fighting? 764 00:52:26,458 --> 00:52:28,124 Otherwise I will put all of you in jail. 765 00:52:28,375 --> 00:52:30,374 I am here to welcome all of you all, on behalf of His Majesty. 766 00:52:30,625 --> 00:52:32,374 Tomorrow you will go to meet His Majesty. 767 00:52:32,708 --> 00:52:35,415 No more fighting, just be friends, okay? 768 00:52:35,750 --> 00:52:36,582 Who are you? 769 00:52:36,791 --> 00:52:39,540 I am Tiger, the mighty guard from Central Plains. 770 00:52:39,750 --> 00:52:42,374 This is my elder brother, Royal Dog. 771 00:52:47,458 --> 00:52:48,832 Two punks. 772 00:52:48,958 --> 00:52:52,415 After the competition, you will all be crippled. 773 00:52:52,625 --> 00:52:54,582 Why should we be friends now? 774 00:52:56,291 --> 00:52:57,332 Where's the Princess? 775 00:53:03,250 --> 00:53:04,874 What the hell? I wana die... 776 00:53:05,916 --> 00:53:09,124 This is so disrespectful to the Princess. 777 00:53:11,291 --> 00:53:14,040 I don't care who the hell he is. 778 00:53:14,291 --> 00:53:15,540 I just want to beat him up. 779 00:53:15,708 --> 00:53:17,499 Me too! Yeah, me too. 780 00:53:18,708 --> 00:53:21,624 Don't you dare, or we will beat you up. 781 00:53:23,375 --> 00:53:25,707 Are all the handsome men in the country dead? 782 00:53:32,041 --> 00:53:33,124 Your Majesty. 783 00:53:33,416 --> 00:53:35,332 Long live the Emperor! 784 00:53:35,541 --> 00:53:37,915 Everybody rise. 785 00:53:38,166 --> 00:53:39,415 Thank You, Your Majesty. 786 00:53:39,583 --> 00:53:42,832 Today I am going to choose a husband for the Princess. 787 00:53:43,041 --> 00:53:46,457 The winner will be my son-in-law, the crown prince. 788 00:53:46,916 --> 00:53:51,832 My son-in-law should be a kung-fu master and an educated man. 789 00:53:52,041 --> 00:53:56,082 He should also love Princess Rainbow with all his heart and soul. 790 00:53:56,291 --> 00:53:59,165 So, contestants will take part in two tests today. 791 00:53:59,333 --> 00:54:00,957 First, the oral test. 792 00:54:01,166 --> 00:54:04,957 Contestants must express their love to Princess Rainbow in Poetry. 793 00:54:05,166 --> 00:54:07,124 Second, the IQ test. 794 00:54:07,291 --> 00:54:09,415 And martial arts will be tested tomorrow. 795 00:54:09,625 --> 00:54:11,624 Okay, who's first? 796 00:54:11,916 --> 00:54:15,957 Tell Princess Rainbow how much you love her. 797 00:54:17,416 --> 00:54:18,832 Me first. 798 00:54:26,875 --> 00:54:28,499 Look at how strong I am. 799 00:54:28,750 --> 00:54:32,707 With me by her side, no one will dare to offend the Princess. 800 00:54:44,833 --> 00:54:47,249 Young fellow, you stink... 801 00:54:47,500 --> 00:54:49,790 you'd better go home and wash up! 802 00:54:49,958 --> 00:54:51,290 Next! 803 00:54:57,166 --> 00:54:58,874 I am out of it. 804 00:54:59,958 --> 00:55:01,290 Get out of my way! 805 00:55:02,833 --> 00:55:04,082 How rude! 806 00:55:14,250 --> 00:55:16,499 Awesome, another one... 807 00:55:28,958 --> 00:55:31,624 That's enough! Go home, idiot! 808 00:55:35,375 --> 00:55:39,582 That handsome fellow, you are next. 809 00:55:44,958 --> 00:55:49,707 Your Highness, my love for you is like the evening star. 810 00:55:55,583 --> 00:55:57,790 I can't take that... 811 00:55:58,833 --> 00:56:01,915 Your Highness... Your Highness... 812 00:56:02,083 --> 00:56:03,332 What should we do now? 813 00:56:03,875 --> 00:56:07,957 You are embarrassing her Highness. Get lost. 814 00:56:09,708 --> 00:56:12,790 Brother, you have practiced the whole night yesterday. 815 00:56:12,958 --> 00:56:14,790 It's time to show us what you've got. 816 00:56:14,958 --> 00:56:16,290 Your master move. 817 00:56:16,583 --> 00:56:18,874 Brother, I am very nervous. 818 00:56:19,083 --> 00:56:19,957 Why should you be nervous? 819 00:56:20,208 --> 00:56:23,290 You were doing fine last night, go ahead. 820 00:56:30,958 --> 00:56:32,124 Ready. 821 00:56:32,291 --> 00:56:33,457 Go. 822 00:56:34,958 --> 00:56:38,290 Your Highness, my love for you is so great that, 823 00:56:38,583 --> 00:56:41,540 no matter how big the tempest, how violent the storm... 824 00:56:41,708 --> 00:56:44,790 nothing is going stop me. 825 00:56:45,083 --> 00:56:46,624 Whether you love me or not, 826 00:56:46,833 --> 00:56:49,749 I'll be your protector all my life. 827 00:56:49,958 --> 00:56:52,707 To keep you safe and happy. 828 00:56:53,083 --> 00:56:55,957 Let me shoulder all your burden. 829 00:57:03,625 --> 00:57:04,290 Okay, ready. 830 00:57:04,458 --> 00:57:06,332 1,2,3, go. 831 00:57:07,833 --> 00:57:13,957 Your... 832 00:57:14,916 --> 00:57:15,707 What's wrong with you? 833 00:57:15,875 --> 00:57:17,207 Bro, I am very nervous. 834 00:57:17,416 --> 00:57:19,165 Why is that? 835 00:57:19,416 --> 00:57:22,415 As soon as I look at her, I can't utter a word. 836 00:57:22,916 --> 00:57:25,249 Well, don't look upon her as the Princess. 837 00:57:25,458 --> 00:57:27,957 just pretend that she is our mother. 838 00:57:28,208 --> 00:57:31,749 Or your most hated enemy, go ahead try it. 839 00:57:43,625 --> 00:57:45,957 Father, am I that ugly? Father... 840 00:57:46,166 --> 00:57:47,249 Royal Tiger, how dare you... 841 00:57:47,458 --> 00:57:50,624 Throwing up in front of the Princess, that's insulting. 842 00:57:50,875 --> 00:57:54,499 Take him away. 843 00:57:56,250 --> 00:57:58,832 Royal Dog, I order you to make the Princess laugh. 844 00:57:58,958 --> 00:58:02,540 Or else you will eat all of Royal Tiger's vomit. 845 00:58:05,333 --> 00:58:06,582 Are you hungry? 846 00:58:14,333 --> 00:58:15,582 Let's go! 847 00:58:17,583 --> 00:58:20,915 Your Highness, if you were to ask me 848 00:58:21,166 --> 00:58:22,624 how much I love you, 849 00:58:22,833 --> 00:58:25,374 My love for you is as genuine as... 850 00:58:25,625 --> 00:58:27,624 the moon. 851 00:58:27,875 --> 00:58:31,332 Just a light kiss and I am deeply moved. 852 00:58:31,625 --> 00:58:32,957 For an everlasting romance... 853 00:58:34,166 --> 00:58:36,749 how could I forget? 854 00:58:37,583 --> 00:58:41,957 Brother... Calm down... 855 00:58:42,125 --> 00:58:43,332 Father... 856 00:58:44,083 --> 00:58:45,374 I want to marry him. 857 00:58:47,083 --> 00:58:49,540 Really? Wow, even THAT works? 858 00:58:49,708 --> 00:58:53,415 Yes, I trust him. It will be great... 859 00:58:53,750 --> 00:58:55,707 to be his father-in-law. 860 00:58:56,333 --> 00:58:58,207 None of my business. 861 00:58:58,958 --> 00:59:03,082 You can surely sweet-talk the Princess into marrying you but you can't fool me. 862 00:59:03,250 --> 00:59:04,874 Alright, I will test your IQ. 863 00:59:05,583 --> 00:59:06,957 Should it be on literacy? 864 00:59:07,250 --> 00:59:11,082 I decide what test you will take! 865 00:59:11,750 --> 00:59:13,832 Alright, go ahead. 866 00:59:14,041 --> 00:59:17,124 A rare lamb chop and a medium rare beef steak 867 00:59:17,375 --> 00:59:18,624 was put in the pan. 868 00:59:18,875 --> 00:59:19,915 Why didn't they talk to each other? 869 00:59:20,208 --> 00:59:21,707 Because they are not done. 870 00:59:22,041 --> 00:59:23,624 A shark has eaten 50 catty of green peas, 871 00:59:23,916 --> 00:59:24,624 what would it become? 872 00:59:24,833 --> 00:59:26,332 Green pea congee! 873 00:59:30,250 --> 00:59:31,082 Great! 874 00:59:31,333 --> 00:59:33,874 The chief of a cannibalistic tribe suddenly wants to eat vegetables. 875 00:59:34,083 --> 00:59:34,957 What should he have? 876 00:59:35,166 --> 00:59:36,290 A veggie. 877 00:59:36,750 --> 00:59:38,457 You go camping in the wilderness. 878 00:59:38,958 --> 00:59:41,582 You get up at midnight, you can see stars in the sky. 879 00:59:41,791 --> 00:59:43,374 And the Big Dipper is over your head 880 00:59:43,625 --> 00:59:45,374 What would you think of? 881 00:59:45,750 --> 00:59:49,332 The vast universe and the brevity of human life. 882 00:59:49,500 --> 00:59:50,165 Wrong. 883 00:59:50,375 --> 00:59:52,165 Your tent has been stolen. 884 00:59:53,958 --> 00:59:58,374 If you are wrong again, you will be out. 885 00:59:59,833 --> 01:00:01,957 How unreasonable is that... 886 01:00:02,208 --> 01:00:03,957 Alright, ask away. 887 01:00:06,500 --> 01:00:09,249 There's a foreign woman who doesn't know Chinese. 888 01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:11,707 When she goes to buy chicken breast, she points at her own chest 889 01:00:11,958 --> 01:00:13,582 and mimicks the chicken's crow. 890 01:00:13,875 --> 01:00:14,957 she successfully buys chicken breast. 891 01:00:15,125 --> 01:00:16,874 On the next day, she needs to buy dried sausage. 892 01:00:17,083 --> 01:00:19,165 Instead of going herself, she tells her husband to go buy it, why? 893 01:00:22,250 --> 01:00:24,540 Because her husband speaks Chinese. 894 01:00:25,541 --> 01:00:28,082 Bravo! Brother... 895 01:00:28,833 --> 01:00:30,624 You are forcing my hand to go to the extreme 896 01:00:30,833 --> 01:00:34,374 You are forcing me to ask you 897 01:00:34,708 --> 01:00:35,957 the unanswerable question. 898 01:00:37,208 --> 01:00:39,957 You trying scare me. 899 01:00:40,625 --> 01:00:43,832 In the middle of the night, a man is wakened by his child... 900 01:00:44,125 --> 01:00:45,499 who cries because he is hungry. 901 01:00:45,708 --> 01:00:49,915 Which part of the body should he use to feed his child? 902 01:00:50,083 --> 01:00:51,249 His right foot. Why? 903 01:00:51,458 --> 01:00:54,457 Because he kicks his wife to wake her up to feed the child. 904 01:00:56,750 --> 01:00:59,082 I am pissed... 905 01:00:59,958 --> 01:01:01,332 To me, such questions... 906 01:01:01,541 --> 01:01:04,082 are a piece of cake, Your Highness! 907 01:01:04,458 --> 01:01:08,832 Okay, I will announce the results for today. 908 01:01:09,041 --> 01:01:11,374 Royal Dog, 6 points. 909 01:01:12,375 --> 01:01:13,707 and the others... 910 01:01:13,916 --> 01:01:15,082 zero points. 911 01:01:15,250 --> 01:01:16,040 What? 912 01:01:16,250 --> 01:01:18,165 Royal Dog is now the favourite to win this competition 913 01:01:18,333 --> 01:01:19,415 Yes. 914 01:01:19,583 --> 01:01:21,415 If he gets 2 points tomorrow... 915 01:01:21,625 --> 01:01:23,915 Princess Rainbow will have to marry him. 916 01:01:24,208 --> 01:01:25,165 But he doesn't know kung-fu. 917 01:01:25,500 --> 01:01:27,832 Yeah, he cannot fight. 918 01:01:28,250 --> 01:01:30,582 Yet still he managed to kill all the ninja assassins. 919 01:01:30,833 --> 01:01:33,249 Lord Unicorn was fooled by him a few days ago. 920 01:01:33,458 --> 01:01:36,582 Would it be a surprise if he beats all the other competing princes? 921 01:01:37,458 --> 01:01:39,707 Then let this idiot marry the Princess. 922 01:01:39,958 --> 01:01:41,790 In fact, I am fed up with him. 923 01:01:42,125 --> 01:01:43,957 Don't you guys want me not to marry him? 924 01:01:44,166 --> 01:01:47,290 It'd be fine for you to dump him. 925 01:01:47,583 --> 01:01:49,582 But if he marries the Princess... 926 01:01:49,791 --> 01:01:52,040 people will think that it is he who dumps you. 927 01:01:52,250 --> 01:01:56,499 You will become an abandoned woman. What a shame! 928 01:01:56,708 --> 01:01:59,207 Right, what should I do then? 929 01:01:59,458 --> 01:02:00,915 stop him from entering the competition tomorrow. 930 01:02:01,333 --> 01:02:02,624 How? 931 01:02:03,208 --> 01:02:04,707 What is done cannot be undone. 932 01:02:06,833 --> 01:02:08,415 You want me to... 933 01:02:08,625 --> 01:02:09,874 No way. 934 01:02:10,208 --> 01:02:12,707 My dear daughter, let's say... 935 01:02:12,916 --> 01:02:14,624 someone snatches your husband, no one would believe that. 936 01:02:14,916 --> 01:02:16,040 If the Princess 937 01:02:16,291 --> 01:02:20,040 snatches your husband, everyone will believe that. 938 01:02:20,500 --> 01:02:21,415 You will lose face! You will be humiliated! 939 01:02:21,625 --> 01:02:23,582 But I don't know how to seduce men... 940 01:02:25,875 --> 01:02:28,624 For your sake, your mother 941 01:02:28,875 --> 01:02:30,915 I have to use my Ultimate skill. 942 01:02:35,125 --> 01:02:37,290 I am lonely and lost. 943 01:02:37,458 --> 01:02:40,832 Come on, honey, hold me tight... 944 01:02:42,875 --> 01:02:44,540 keep me warm. 945 01:02:47,958 --> 01:02:50,790 Hey, you two throw up? 946 01:02:51,291 --> 01:02:52,790 Am I that disgusting? 947 01:02:52,958 --> 01:02:55,040 Of course not. Mom, you are great. 948 01:02:55,250 --> 01:02:57,249 I already know how to "snatch a husband". 949 01:02:57,541 --> 01:02:58,957 I will use it on Royal Dog. 950 01:02:59,625 --> 01:03:02,082 Honey, you can do it. Go get him. 951 01:03:02,250 --> 01:03:04,624 Right! You can do it. 952 01:03:04,958 --> 01:03:06,624 Get him... 953 01:03:07,416 --> 01:03:08,374 Bastard. 954 01:03:09,750 --> 01:03:11,540 Amida Buddha, for the rest of our life... 955 01:03:11,750 --> 01:03:13,874 for rich or for poor 956 01:03:14,125 --> 01:03:16,124 Please give us your blessing. 957 01:03:20,291 --> 01:03:21,874 Let's see. Oh no! Double thumbs down! 958 01:03:22,083 --> 01:03:22,915 It's a curse... 959 01:03:23,125 --> 01:03:26,082 We are not blessed, we are doomed. 960 01:03:26,250 --> 01:03:28,915 What should we do? 961 01:03:29,208 --> 01:03:31,249 Wait... 962 01:03:31,458 --> 01:03:33,707 Throw all the "bad fortune" sticks away 963 01:03:33,916 --> 01:03:36,082 and replace them with blessing sticks 964 01:03:37,750 --> 01:03:40,374 This time we won't be cursed, try again. 965 01:03:40,625 --> 01:03:42,874 Amida Buddha... 966 01:03:49,250 --> 01:03:50,749 Bastard! 967 01:03:50,958 --> 01:03:53,165 Are you playing tricks on me? 968 01:03:53,375 --> 01:03:54,624 Either give me a bad fortune stick 969 01:03:54,750 --> 01:03:57,207 Or no stick at all. 970 01:03:57,375 --> 01:03:58,874 I pay respect to you and ask for your blessing. 971 01:03:59,083 --> 01:04:00,957 Otherwise I will have burnt down this temple. 972 01:04:01,166 --> 01:04:03,582 so stop playing tricks on me. 973 01:04:03,791 --> 01:04:04,749 Forget it... 974 01:04:04,958 --> 01:04:07,249 We are not superstitious. 975 01:04:09,583 --> 01:04:10,499 Let's go. 976 01:04:10,708 --> 01:04:11,915 Go. 977 01:04:25,041 --> 01:04:27,374 Amida Buddha is not even on my side this time, 978 01:04:27,541 --> 01:04:30,082 Should I depose the emperor? 979 01:04:32,250 --> 01:04:34,374 Your Majesty. 980 01:04:34,583 --> 01:04:35,374 Where have you been? 981 01:04:35,541 --> 01:04:38,165 I have been waiting for you the whole night. 982 01:04:38,750 --> 01:04:41,332 I just went to the temple. 983 01:04:42,125 --> 01:04:46,040 Your Majesty, do you love me? 984 01:04:46,250 --> 01:04:46,874 I do. 985 01:04:47,125 --> 01:04:50,499 You doesn't mean what you say. 986 01:04:50,708 --> 01:04:51,749 Ask me again. 987 01:04:51,958 --> 01:04:54,749 Your Majesty, do you love me? 988 01:04:55,958 --> 01:04:58,499 You have to think hard. 989 01:04:59,625 --> 01:05:00,415 Your Majesty, 990 01:05:00,625 --> 01:05:03,165 if I have done something wrong, will you still love me? 991 01:05:03,375 --> 01:05:04,499 I will. 992 01:05:06,625 --> 01:05:10,624 What if it's a big big mistake? 993 01:05:10,875 --> 01:05:12,832 How big a mistake is it then? 994 01:05:13,750 --> 01:05:15,499 Depose you, for example? 995 01:05:15,750 --> 01:05:17,457 Just an example... 996 01:05:17,833 --> 01:05:20,499 That's treason! I will have to execute your whole clan. 997 01:05:21,791 --> 01:05:23,415 But I will still love you. 998 01:05:36,416 --> 01:05:37,457 What are you doing? 999 01:05:37,916 --> 01:05:40,290 Nothing... I am just covering up my chest... 1000 01:05:40,541 --> 01:05:42,499 My dress has a plunging neckline. 1001 01:05:42,833 --> 01:05:44,249 I like to see the back of your head. 1002 01:05:44,500 --> 01:05:46,415 Turn around. 1003 01:05:48,625 --> 01:05:51,124 In fact you don't have to send the beautiful concubines 1004 01:05:51,416 --> 01:05:53,165 to work in the kitchen. 1005 01:05:53,375 --> 01:05:56,499 You are the only woman in the palace 1006 01:05:56,708 --> 01:05:58,832 that I really love. 1007 01:06:00,125 --> 01:06:01,874 Are you done with that? 1008 01:06:03,625 --> 01:06:04,957 Are you sweating? 1009 01:06:06,083 --> 01:06:07,124 Yes, Your Majesty. 1010 01:06:07,291 --> 01:06:11,540 I feel so weak and feverish when I see you. 1011 01:06:15,708 --> 01:06:17,582 You are having a fever. 1012 01:06:19,291 --> 01:06:20,915 I come at the wrong time. 1013 01:06:21,583 --> 01:06:24,582 Well, I'll return to my room, you'd better have some rest. 1014 01:06:24,833 --> 01:06:26,624 Yes, Your Majesty. 1015 01:06:27,125 --> 01:06:29,082 Bye. 1016 01:06:33,541 --> 01:06:37,540 sister... 1017 01:06:38,208 --> 01:06:39,707 What happened? 1018 01:06:40,083 --> 01:06:41,457 That bastard Taro says 1019 01:06:41,625 --> 01:06:44,624 We must kill Royal Dog to avenge his brother's murder 1020 01:06:44,916 --> 01:06:46,749 before he helps us depose the emperor. 1021 01:06:46,958 --> 01:06:48,332 Let him go and kill Royal Dog himself then. 1022 01:06:48,833 --> 01:06:51,915 But the Royal Secret Guards are watching over me like a hawk. 1023 01:06:52,083 --> 01:06:53,624 How closely are they watching you? 1024 01:07:06,083 --> 01:07:07,624 What should I do then? 1025 01:07:08,333 --> 01:07:13,499 Brother, do you still remember I learnt Ninjutsu? 1026 01:07:13,708 --> 01:07:17,207 I too am a ninja. I can transform too. 1027 01:07:17,416 --> 01:07:18,957 Right. 1028 01:07:19,166 --> 01:07:19,832 so... 1029 01:07:20,083 --> 01:07:23,499 Well, I will go kill Royal Dog. 1030 01:07:23,708 --> 01:07:25,915 Come on... 1031 01:07:26,916 --> 01:07:30,457 sister, looks like you are in the wrong costume. 1032 01:07:31,416 --> 01:07:33,582 Okay! I will transform again 1033 01:07:34,958 --> 01:07:36,749 Transform... 1034 01:07:37,083 --> 01:07:38,332 I am on my way. 1035 01:07:39,041 --> 01:07:41,832 Come back soon. 1036 01:07:52,333 --> 01:07:54,749 Once he has taken my "Frog" poison, 1037 01:07:55,083 --> 01:07:56,374 that will be the end of him. 1038 01:08:06,083 --> 01:08:07,582 Mr. Dog. 1039 01:08:08,416 --> 01:08:09,624 Who is it? 1040 01:08:13,208 --> 01:08:18,582 Damn it, he got away. 1041 01:08:21,708 --> 01:08:23,790 Marco Solo! 1042 01:08:23,958 --> 01:08:25,957 Mr. Dog, how are you? 1043 01:08:26,125 --> 01:08:26,832 What did you say? 1044 01:08:27,041 --> 01:08:28,624 How are you? 1045 01:08:28,916 --> 01:08:30,249 Where's the stuff I ordered? 1046 01:08:30,458 --> 01:08:31,790 It's all here. 1047 01:08:31,958 --> 01:08:34,332 Get down there. 1048 01:08:38,833 --> 01:08:41,207 Mr. Dog, let me tell you. 1049 01:08:41,375 --> 01:08:44,707 This is called a pistol or, to use a Chinese translation - the "fire pipe". 1050 01:08:44,916 --> 01:08:47,582 One shot from it can kill a person. 1051 01:08:48,083 --> 01:08:48,957 What if it misses? 1052 01:08:49,208 --> 01:08:50,957 If you miss, run like hell. 1053 01:08:52,833 --> 01:08:56,165 Why didn't they make one that can fire several shots? 1054 01:08:56,333 --> 01:08:57,749 That is a good idea! 1055 01:08:58,083 --> 01:09:00,040 How about you figure it out and make one yourself. 1056 01:09:02,083 --> 01:09:05,249 Don't point it at yourself, in case of an accident! 1057 01:09:06,708 --> 01:09:08,040 Really? Misfires so easily 1058 01:09:08,333 --> 01:09:10,082 No, don't point it at me. 1059 01:09:12,125 --> 01:09:14,832 Didn't you say it can fire one shot only? What are you scared of? 1060 01:09:15,958 --> 01:09:17,082 Anything else? 1061 01:09:17,291 --> 01:09:20,207 Mr. Dog, this is container you wanted. 1062 01:09:20,375 --> 01:09:21,207 What is it for? 1063 01:09:21,458 --> 01:09:23,499 To collect oxygen. 1064 01:09:23,833 --> 01:09:26,415 You Chinese know a lot. 1065 01:09:27,333 --> 01:09:28,499 Aren't you Chinese too? 1066 01:09:28,708 --> 01:09:30,832 Don't think that I didn't know you dyed your hair? 1067 01:09:31,083 --> 01:09:33,415 You are Mr. Ma 1068 01:09:33,583 --> 01:09:35,124 I am mixed-blooded. 1069 01:09:35,291 --> 01:09:36,749 Mixed-blooded my foot... 1070 01:09:36,958 --> 01:09:39,040 Chinese do have lots of inventions. 1071 01:09:40,083 --> 01:09:42,957 In fact, I know almost everything about science. 1072 01:09:43,333 --> 01:09:45,957 except two. 1073 01:09:46,208 --> 01:09:47,582 Is it about the universe? 1074 01:09:47,750 --> 01:09:48,749 No. 1075 01:09:49,166 --> 01:09:50,165 What is it then? 1076 01:09:50,333 --> 01:09:52,415 Women and love. 1077 01:09:52,625 --> 01:09:53,832 Women and love? 1078 01:09:53,958 --> 01:09:57,624 The Europeans are more romantic than the Chinese. 1079 01:09:57,833 --> 01:09:59,624 If you like a woman... 1080 01:09:59,958 --> 01:10:01,582 you sing a love song to her 1081 01:10:01,833 --> 01:10:03,957 and then kiss her. 1082 01:10:04,208 --> 01:10:06,957 Then she will love you with all her heart. 1083 01:10:07,208 --> 01:10:08,290 Kiss? 1084 01:10:08,458 --> 01:10:09,457 Like this? 1085 01:10:15,500 --> 01:10:18,790 Faithfull, it's so late, you look as if you are a quail in spring... 1086 01:10:18,958 --> 01:10:20,207 What are you doing? 1087 01:10:20,500 --> 01:10:22,624 How's it? Am I not pretty? 1088 01:10:25,208 --> 01:10:27,249 You must be the foreigner who swindled his money. 1089 01:10:27,416 --> 01:10:28,457 she is your girlfriend? 1090 01:10:28,708 --> 01:10:29,915 Yes. 1091 01:10:30,500 --> 01:10:31,957 His fiancee. 1092 01:10:32,291 --> 01:10:34,624 I am not disturbing you then. Be romantic... 1093 01:10:34,750 --> 01:10:36,207 Bye. 1094 01:10:38,958 --> 01:10:40,499 What's romance? 1095 01:10:40,625 --> 01:10:42,499 What? Romance? 1096 01:10:42,958 --> 01:10:45,124 That's a western thing, what would I know of what that is? 1097 01:10:48,375 --> 01:10:49,874 Why do you come here? 1098 01:10:50,250 --> 01:10:52,165 Don't you have to be with your Mr. Handsome? 1099 01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:55,582 I did that on purpose previously to make you jealous. 1100 01:10:55,791 --> 01:10:59,082 Do I look like a woman of easy virtue? 1101 01:10:59,250 --> 01:11:00,207 You do. 1102 01:11:00,375 --> 01:11:01,749 What did you say? 1103 01:11:05,500 --> 01:11:07,207 I'll kill myself if you don't believe me . 1104 01:11:12,083 --> 01:11:14,499 You look like you have been poisoned. 1105 01:11:16,125 --> 01:11:18,082 The chance is here again. 1106 01:11:18,250 --> 01:11:19,832 Don't cry so loud in the middle of the night. 1107 01:11:19,958 --> 01:11:22,415 People will think that I rape you. 1108 01:11:22,708 --> 01:11:25,124 Get me up... Get me up... 1109 01:11:25,291 --> 01:11:26,124 No. 1110 01:11:26,375 --> 01:11:27,749 Really? 1111 01:11:36,291 --> 01:11:37,957 Alright, alright! 1112 01:11:45,500 --> 01:11:47,915 I will kill you for sure. 1113 01:11:50,166 --> 01:11:52,540 Honey, I want to marry you as soon as possible. 1114 01:11:52,750 --> 01:11:54,749 And have many many kids. 1115 01:11:54,958 --> 01:11:56,749 You look like that you are gonna have your way with me. 1116 01:11:56,958 --> 01:11:58,582 Are you having a fever? 1117 01:12:07,375 --> 01:12:10,957 Honey, I am home alone... 1118 01:12:11,166 --> 01:12:13,957 I am so lonely and lost... 1119 01:12:14,250 --> 01:12:15,499 I am so cold... 1120 01:12:15,708 --> 01:12:19,207 I want you to hold me and give me warmth... 1121 01:12:19,375 --> 01:12:23,040 Your arms are so strong.. 1122 01:12:31,041 --> 01:12:33,540 Have you tried the western way of wooing? 1123 01:12:34,291 --> 01:12:35,749 What western way? 1124 01:12:35,875 --> 01:12:38,082 We have to sing a love song first... 1125 01:12:38,291 --> 01:12:39,165 then kiss... 1126 01:12:39,375 --> 01:12:41,499 skip the singing part. 1127 01:12:52,625 --> 01:12:53,957 No peeping. Oh? 1128 01:12:56,750 --> 01:12:57,457 How does it feel? 1129 01:12:57,625 --> 01:12:58,874 A little bit... 1130 01:13:10,833 --> 01:13:11,624 A little bit dizzy. 1131 01:13:11,875 --> 01:13:12,957 There's something else. 1132 01:13:20,750 --> 01:13:21,957 I want to throw up. 1133 01:13:22,166 --> 01:13:24,374 Are you are enjoying it? 1134 01:13:30,458 --> 01:13:32,957 I have never tried THAT before. 1135 01:13:38,208 --> 01:13:39,290 Help. 1136 01:13:55,750 --> 01:13:57,707 I am crushed... 1137 01:14:05,958 --> 01:14:07,290 shit, she recognised me. 1138 01:14:25,208 --> 01:14:27,915 Help. 1139 01:14:31,583 --> 01:14:35,957 Are you gonna marry me? 1140 01:14:38,833 --> 01:14:41,165 Holding me now at ransom is it? 1141 01:14:43,083 --> 01:14:45,624 What was it you said lies underneath there? 1142 01:14:46,625 --> 01:14:48,582 Oh, I remember its the sewer. 1143 01:14:49,083 --> 01:14:51,957 My parents have been smelly for many days. 1144 01:14:54,583 --> 01:14:55,915 Honey... 1145 01:14:57,166 --> 01:14:58,749 I can't stand it any more. 1146 01:15:01,750 --> 01:15:03,165 Oh no, it's cut! 1147 01:15:06,583 --> 01:15:08,124 Honey... 1148 01:15:08,291 --> 01:15:10,957 You are going to withdraw from the competition tomorrow, you can't marry the Princess. 1149 01:15:11,333 --> 01:15:13,415 I don't want to marry her at all in the first place. 1150 01:15:13,750 --> 01:15:17,290 You are the only one I love. 1151 01:15:17,416 --> 01:15:18,957 Is it not you who dumped me? 1152 01:15:19,375 --> 01:15:20,415 I... 1153 01:15:20,791 --> 01:15:22,624 I want to be with you. . . 1154 01:15:22,833 --> 01:15:24,832 romantically... 1155 01:15:25,041 --> 01:15:26,624 Then what about Prince Handsome? 1156 01:15:30,416 --> 01:15:33,415 What? You are very cunning. 1157 01:15:34,041 --> 01:15:35,124 My dear honey. 1158 01:15:42,041 --> 01:15:44,082 Your Highness. You look... 1159 01:15:44,250 --> 01:15:46,582 very different today. 1160 01:15:47,083 --> 01:15:52,624 Do you guys like thick lips? 1161 01:15:53,083 --> 01:15:55,832 I heard about that, but no guys... 1162 01:15:56,041 --> 01:15:57,582 like duck lips. 1163 01:15:57,750 --> 01:15:58,957 shut up. 1164 01:15:59,500 --> 01:16:03,207 This is the second round of the competition. 1165 01:16:03,458 --> 01:16:05,624 which will decide who the winner is. 1166 01:16:05,833 --> 01:16:09,707 If no one beats Royal Dog, 1167 01:16:09,958 --> 01:16:13,457 he will be the Imperial son-in-law. 1168 01:16:19,625 --> 01:16:22,624 What are you doing? 1169 01:16:22,916 --> 01:16:26,415 Your Majesty, I withdraw from the competition. 1170 01:16:26,625 --> 01:16:27,624 Good luck to all the... 1171 01:16:27,833 --> 01:16:29,415 other contestants. 1172 01:16:29,625 --> 01:16:31,499 All the best. 1173 01:16:31,625 --> 01:16:32,624 Brother, you... 1174 01:16:32,791 --> 01:16:34,624 Brother, do your best. 1175 01:16:36,041 --> 01:16:37,832 What do you mean? 1176 01:16:38,625 --> 01:16:41,040 That's defrauding the Emperor. 1177 01:16:41,416 --> 01:16:44,957 Your Highness, even if I win, I can't marry you. 1178 01:16:45,166 --> 01:16:46,790 Because I already have the most loveable lady, 1179 01:16:47,041 --> 01:16:48,582 who is good with kung-fu, great at house work 1180 01:16:48,791 --> 01:16:51,207 can carry heavy loads, but most importantly... 1181 01:16:51,500 --> 01:16:53,915 I don't have to give her all my salary. 1182 01:16:54,166 --> 01:16:56,582 Royal Dog, do you have a death wish? 1183 01:16:57,541 --> 01:17:01,207 Father, can't you let me pick my own husband? 1184 01:17:02,333 --> 01:17:03,707 You are not to say anything. 1185 01:17:03,958 --> 01:17:05,915 You are the Princess. 1186 01:17:06,083 --> 01:17:07,290 How can you say something so silly? 1187 01:17:07,500 --> 01:17:10,207 Guards! Put Royal Dog under arrest. 1188 01:17:10,416 --> 01:17:12,749 Your Majesty, my brother has been protecting you for years. 1189 01:17:12,958 --> 01:17:13,957 Please pardon him, Your Majesty. 1190 01:17:14,166 --> 01:17:15,624 In accordance with the law, 1191 01:17:15,875 --> 01:17:19,082 anyone who speaks for the offender is an accomplice and is equally guilty. 1192 01:17:19,791 --> 01:17:21,499 Please pardon him, Your Majesty. 1193 01:17:21,708 --> 01:17:23,165 Put them both in jail. 1194 01:17:24,416 --> 01:17:27,582 Why is it that we only get to share the misfortune but not the good luck? 1195 01:17:27,791 --> 01:17:28,832 Take them away! 1196 01:17:29,083 --> 01:17:32,540 Move it! Hurry up... 1197 01:17:37,500 --> 01:17:38,707 Are you done with the "kiddie" games? 1198 01:17:38,916 --> 01:17:41,457 Can we start the martial arts competition now? 1199 01:17:44,041 --> 01:17:45,624 Of course. 1200 01:17:46,166 --> 01:17:47,290 Go ahead! 1201 01:17:57,041 --> 01:17:59,957 Old Fool! Have you gone mad? 1202 01:18:00,166 --> 01:18:02,290 Those princes compete among themselves, 1203 01:18:02,500 --> 01:18:05,290 not against your staff. 1204 01:18:06,416 --> 01:18:07,457 You good-for-nothing Emperor! 1205 01:18:08,291 --> 01:18:09,957 Why are you so dumb? 1206 01:18:10,166 --> 01:18:13,582 They do not come for the competition. They come to depose you. 1207 01:18:13,791 --> 01:18:16,457 Depose me? 1208 01:18:16,958 --> 01:18:19,957 Aren't all you Royal Secret Guards on my side? 1209 01:18:20,375 --> 01:18:23,915 Lock the emperor and the Princess up. 1210 01:18:24,083 --> 01:18:27,540 Honey, you'd better go first. 1211 01:18:28,083 --> 01:18:31,457 Sorry, I am one of them. 1212 01:18:31,625 --> 01:18:34,707 But honey, I realize now that I love you very much. 1213 01:18:34,916 --> 01:18:36,749 Bro, can we not depose him? 1214 01:18:37,041 --> 01:18:39,082 Just pretend nothing ever happened. 1215 01:18:39,541 --> 01:18:40,582 Of course..... 1216 01:18:40,791 --> 01:18:41,957 Not! 1217 01:18:42,291 --> 01:18:46,624 Let us get ready for the Princess' wedding. 1218 01:18:47,625 --> 01:18:49,874 Will the Princess marry me? 1219 01:18:50,500 --> 01:18:52,499 Of course...not. 1220 01:18:58,625 --> 01:19:01,040 The one to marry the Princess is... 1221 01:19:01,291 --> 01:19:03,040 Me! 1222 01:19:05,333 --> 01:19:07,374 No... 1223 01:19:09,541 --> 01:19:11,957 Unicorn, save me. 1224 01:19:12,166 --> 01:19:14,915 Your Majesty, how can I... 1225 01:19:15,166 --> 01:19:17,707 beat them all? 1226 01:19:19,916 --> 01:19:21,749 You are smart. 1227 01:19:26,625 --> 01:19:29,957 But I can arrest you. 1228 01:19:30,916 --> 01:19:34,082 Your elder brother has committed treason. 1229 01:19:39,708 --> 01:19:41,165 Tyrant! 1230 01:19:41,500 --> 01:19:44,165 You order your Royal Secret Guards to kill my brother. 1231 01:19:44,708 --> 01:19:47,165 I will now avenge his death. 1232 01:19:47,583 --> 01:19:48,915 Who are you? 1233 01:19:49,083 --> 01:19:51,124 Our fellow countrymen. 1234 01:19:51,958 --> 01:19:54,207 Good then I have nothing to worry about, please sit down. 1235 01:19:54,416 --> 01:19:56,207 He is MY fellow countrymen. 1236 01:19:56,416 --> 01:19:58,124 Right, your countrymen are my subjects 1237 01:19:58,375 --> 01:20:02,124 Yes I was, but no longer. 1238 01:20:02,291 --> 01:20:03,332 Guards! 1239 01:20:03,541 --> 01:20:05,624 Prepare for the emperor to be deposed. 1240 01:20:06,166 --> 01:20:07,040 Deposed? 1241 01:20:07,250 --> 01:20:09,874 Father, Lord Unicorn wants to be king. 1242 01:20:11,166 --> 01:20:13,457 Who ever heard of an eunuch being king... 1243 01:20:14,541 --> 01:20:17,624 My Lord, I have thought about this. 1244 01:20:17,833 --> 01:20:20,624 You are the right person to take the throne. 1245 01:20:20,875 --> 01:20:23,165 You are my idol, my Lord. 1246 01:20:23,416 --> 01:20:26,207 I decide to switch sides again and serve you. 1247 01:20:26,416 --> 01:20:27,415 What do you think? 1248 01:20:27,625 --> 01:20:28,540 Great! 1249 01:20:28,750 --> 01:20:31,957 You will be my eunuch when I become king. 1250 01:20:33,291 --> 01:20:34,582 Whom should I marry now? 1251 01:20:34,791 --> 01:20:36,624 You... 1252 01:20:37,125 --> 01:20:38,582 Not you? 1253 01:20:39,083 --> 01:20:42,790 Everyone has to die! Who else is there to marry? 1254 01:20:44,083 --> 01:20:45,082 Father! 1255 01:20:45,791 --> 01:20:47,082 Why has everything changed all in a sudden? 1256 01:20:47,291 --> 01:20:48,915 Taro and the eunuch are in this together. 1257 01:20:49,416 --> 01:20:51,707 Am I the good guy or bad guy then? 1258 01:20:51,958 --> 01:20:53,582 You are the fool. 1259 01:20:54,583 --> 01:20:56,957 All of you don't give a damn about me. 1260 01:20:57,208 --> 01:20:58,624 I will protect His Majesty! 1261 01:21:01,583 --> 01:21:04,624 Ninja... 1262 01:21:22,750 --> 01:21:23,749 What is this? 1263 01:21:23,958 --> 01:21:26,582 I invented this while killing the fly with a fly-swat. 1264 01:21:26,875 --> 01:21:27,957 The cyclonic fly-swatter. 1265 01:21:28,166 --> 01:21:29,124 Bullshit! 1266 01:21:33,958 --> 01:21:35,332 Crazy woman! 1267 01:21:37,375 --> 01:21:39,624 Who will save me now? 1268 01:21:39,833 --> 01:21:41,790 Those who could have saved you were all put in jail by Your Majesty. 1269 01:21:41,958 --> 01:21:43,040 I am still here. 1270 01:21:43,458 --> 01:21:45,040 Your humble servant Lady Gemini is here to protect Your Majesty. 1271 01:21:46,291 --> 01:21:49,082 What? You are a girl? 1272 01:21:49,625 --> 01:21:51,249 What a waste! 1273 01:21:51,458 --> 01:21:52,790 You're sometimes a man and sometimes a woman... 1274 01:21:52,958 --> 01:21:55,040 Let's see how long you can pretend to be a prince? 1275 01:21:55,208 --> 01:21:56,332 I am here as well. 1276 01:21:58,291 --> 01:22:01,165 Miss, who are you? 1277 01:22:01,250 --> 01:22:03,915 My husband is Royal Dog, whom you have just jailed. 1278 01:22:04,291 --> 01:22:07,249 Are you for or against me? 1279 01:22:07,583 --> 01:22:08,832 I come to protect Your Majesty. 1280 01:22:09,416 --> 01:22:11,624 Welcome... 1281 01:22:12,125 --> 01:22:13,540 Only you two? 1282 01:22:13,708 --> 01:22:17,040 Wrong! The Royal Secret Guards have been preparing 1283 01:22:17,375 --> 01:22:18,915 for something like this in the past ten years,. 1284 01:22:24,333 --> 01:22:26,707 Great!... 1285 01:22:35,875 --> 01:22:38,499 How come I didn't know of such a device? 1286 01:22:38,750 --> 01:22:40,124 My hubby told me that. 1287 01:22:40,416 --> 01:22:41,249 Your Majesty, run! 1288 01:22:41,375 --> 01:22:42,499 Where to? 1289 01:22:47,958 --> 01:22:49,540 Is this another one of Royal Dog's invention? 1290 01:22:49,750 --> 01:22:52,207 Bring him in, I must reward him! 1291 01:22:53,250 --> 01:22:56,374 You put him in jail already. 1292 01:23:02,375 --> 01:23:03,624 Your Majesty. 1293 01:23:08,916 --> 01:23:11,249 Pull the string on the left. 1294 01:23:12,583 --> 01:23:13,707 Die! 1295 01:23:17,541 --> 01:23:19,457 Your Majesty, we've come to save you. 1296 01:23:19,708 --> 01:23:22,957 Your Majesty, don't be scared. 1297 01:23:24,166 --> 01:23:26,249 Your Majesty, you are shocked. Your Majesty. 1298 01:23:28,416 --> 01:23:30,207 As long as I am still alive, it is okay. 1299 01:23:31,083 --> 01:23:31,915 Where's the Princess? 1300 01:23:32,083 --> 01:23:32,790 Your Majesty, my daughter, 1301 01:23:32,958 --> 01:23:35,957 Faithfull and Lady Gemini have taken the Princess to a safe place. 1302 01:23:36,333 --> 01:23:38,832 I know a secret tunnel through which we can escape. 1303 01:23:39,250 --> 01:23:40,582 Get moving... Go... 1304 01:23:40,750 --> 01:23:42,040 stay where you are... 1305 01:23:44,875 --> 01:23:47,165 There is no escape... 1306 01:23:47,541 --> 01:23:50,624 Unicorn, as long as we are here, 1307 01:23:50,875 --> 01:23:54,957 You will not be able to harm a single hair on the emperor. 1308 01:23:55,166 --> 01:23:58,165 I've heard that you and your wife are the best kung-fu masters in the country. 1309 01:23:58,375 --> 01:24:02,124 It is my lucky day and my honour to fight both of you today. 1310 01:24:04,875 --> 01:24:06,749 Fire Thighs! translated as Ham 1311 01:24:06,916 --> 01:24:07,790 Ham??? 1312 01:24:13,375 --> 01:24:14,540 Hurry up. 1313 01:24:22,250 --> 01:24:23,624 Who are you? 1314 01:24:23,958 --> 01:24:26,207 Your Highness, Lord Unicorn has been colluding with the Japanese. 1315 01:24:26,416 --> 01:24:29,165 My father was murdered because he secured evidence of Lord Unicorn's collusion with the Japanese. 1316 01:24:29,541 --> 01:24:32,540 Today, besides the Princess, 1317 01:24:32,708 --> 01:24:35,124 you two must die. 1318 01:24:35,916 --> 01:24:37,457 That's great. 1319 01:24:38,541 --> 01:24:41,624 That chick who wears man's costume is not bad. I will have her. 1320 01:24:42,125 --> 01:24:42,957 Okay, we won't kill her. 1321 01:24:43,416 --> 01:24:44,707 What do you mean? 1322 01:24:44,916 --> 01:24:48,290 You won't kill them because they are beautiful, what about me? 1323 01:24:48,625 --> 01:24:50,165 You deserve to die. 1324 01:24:52,166 --> 01:24:53,207 You are the one who deserves to die. 1325 01:25:02,416 --> 01:25:03,957 Are you done with that? 1326 01:25:36,583 --> 01:25:38,249 Are you two okay? 1327 01:25:44,791 --> 01:25:45,957 You are too horny. 1328 01:25:46,166 --> 01:25:47,582 I just thought of something. 1329 01:25:48,458 --> 01:25:49,832 Shouldn't you be in jail? 1330 01:25:49,958 --> 01:25:51,124 Of course not. 1331 01:25:55,333 --> 01:25:57,624 We laid this mousetrap with His Majesty to con you guys 1332 01:25:57,833 --> 01:26:00,874 To dupe you into showing your true colours. 1333 01:26:02,833 --> 01:26:05,624 What? Those four princes are all fake princes? 1334 01:26:05,875 --> 01:26:07,207 Our information is true. 1335 01:26:07,375 --> 01:26:10,165 so we plead with His Majesty to cooperate with us 1336 01:26:10,375 --> 01:26:12,290 We let them think that His Majesty is exposed and has no protection. 1337 01:26:12,500 --> 01:26:14,624 Then they will reveal their true intentions. 1338 01:26:14,958 --> 01:26:17,332 What should I do? 1339 01:26:17,541 --> 01:26:18,540 Your Majesty. 1340 01:26:18,750 --> 01:26:20,915 My parents-in-law are kung-fu masters. 1341 01:26:21,125 --> 01:26:23,499 They will protect Your Majesty. 1342 01:26:25,500 --> 01:26:28,374 Then I will let them protect me. 1343 01:26:28,625 --> 01:26:29,624 Thanks, Your Majesty. 1344 01:26:30,916 --> 01:26:32,332 I just know everything will happen 1345 01:26:32,500 --> 01:26:34,874 in the way I expected it to happen. 1346 01:26:35,083 --> 01:26:37,749 so I came back and saved His Majesty and Her Highness. 1347 01:26:37,916 --> 01:26:39,249 Royal Dog, you are brilliant. 1348 01:26:39,375 --> 01:26:40,415 Thanks. 1349 01:26:40,750 --> 01:26:42,749 What the hell. 1350 01:26:49,250 --> 01:26:50,290 That's your mom 1351 01:26:50,708 --> 01:26:51,499 and your dad. 1352 01:26:51,708 --> 01:26:54,165 It is. 1353 01:26:56,791 --> 01:26:57,624 You are my buddy. 1354 01:26:57,916 --> 01:27:00,790 Lord Unicorn is a good fighter. 1355 01:27:01,750 --> 01:27:02,749 God-father. 1356 01:27:03,041 --> 01:27:05,707 There's nothing special about them. 1357 01:27:05,875 --> 01:27:07,957 You know everything now, so what? 1358 01:27:08,250 --> 01:27:09,874 Can you beat the three of us? 1359 01:27:11,208 --> 01:27:12,624 Your Highness. 1360 01:27:14,250 --> 01:27:15,874 so what?! 1361 01:27:22,375 --> 01:27:23,832 How dare you hit Her Highness! 1362 01:27:34,458 --> 01:27:36,540 You have to fight me then. 1363 01:27:36,708 --> 01:27:37,790 Okay. 1364 01:27:39,041 --> 01:27:41,374 My dear future son-in-law, you'll lose 1365 01:27:41,541 --> 01:27:42,707 Please leave with His Majesty. 1366 01:27:42,833 --> 01:27:43,499 Okay. 1367 01:27:43,625 --> 01:27:44,749 so cold blooded! 1368 01:28:08,250 --> 01:28:09,499 You... Painful? 1369 01:28:11,625 --> 01:28:13,957 Hey, you have an extra hole on your ass... 1370 01:28:14,166 --> 01:28:15,124 Why don't you surrender? 1371 01:28:15,333 --> 01:28:16,957 I have been practising martial arts for years. 1372 01:28:17,333 --> 01:28:20,290 Don't you think I have a Ultimate move? 1373 01:28:20,625 --> 01:28:22,124 Watch it carefully. 1374 01:28:22,375 --> 01:28:23,749 My Ultimate move. 1375 01:28:25,125 --> 01:28:26,582 Run for my life! 1376 01:28:31,958 --> 01:28:33,874 Your Majesty... 1377 01:28:34,083 --> 01:28:36,290 I just pretended to be on their side... 1378 01:28:36,541 --> 01:28:38,124 so as to expose and apprehend them. 1379 01:28:38,333 --> 01:28:41,582 Will Your Majesty be so kind as to take me back? 1380 01:28:41,791 --> 01:28:43,874 Please forgive me. 1381 01:28:44,125 --> 01:28:45,499 Take you back? 1382 01:28:45,625 --> 01:28:46,790 I can, but... 1383 01:28:46,958 --> 01:28:48,124 Forgive you? 1384 01:28:48,625 --> 01:28:49,415 No way. 1385 01:28:49,583 --> 01:28:50,249 Guards! 1386 01:28:50,500 --> 01:28:52,332 Beat him up... 1387 01:29:13,708 --> 01:29:14,790 It's my turn. 1388 01:29:33,583 --> 01:29:34,957 If you are gentlemen and play fair... 1389 01:29:35,208 --> 01:29:38,082 Then fight me one on one like a man. 1390 01:29:40,375 --> 01:29:41,832 We are not gentlemen and , 1391 01:29:42,041 --> 01:29:43,415 we won't play fair. 1392 01:29:48,250 --> 01:29:50,290 Piggy shooting star! 1393 01:29:55,458 --> 01:29:56,749 Done. 1394 01:30:06,833 --> 01:30:08,624 Thank you, parents-in-law. 1395 01:30:08,833 --> 01:30:10,249 You'd better go for late supper. 1396 01:30:10,750 --> 01:30:12,874 Okay, that's a good idea! 1397 01:30:17,875 --> 01:30:19,874 And what manner of toy is this? 1398 01:30:28,416 --> 01:30:29,540 Try this! 1399 01:30:41,916 --> 01:30:44,332 There's NOTHING there. 1400 01:30:45,750 --> 01:30:48,249 Yes, I don't have it. 1401 01:31:01,791 --> 01:31:04,707 Jumped so high and scared the hell out of yourself till the face is green. 1402 01:31:04,958 --> 01:31:07,749 The Mighty Ice Palm! 1403 01:31:08,250 --> 01:31:10,374 Super Barbecue fire! 1404 01:31:18,791 --> 01:31:19,749 Still can withstand the heat? 1405 01:31:19,958 --> 01:31:22,624 Alright, I will roast you into BBQ pork. 1406 01:31:28,125 --> 01:31:29,374 Burn me? 1407 01:31:31,041 --> 01:31:33,249 Do you think my hand is BBQ meat? 1408 01:31:36,833 --> 01:31:38,290 Fire Thighs Ham Kick! 1409 01:31:38,750 --> 01:31:40,249 Honey, be careful. 1410 01:31:41,875 --> 01:31:45,332 Super Furnace wind! 1411 01:31:45,708 --> 01:31:47,249 Furnace Fan? 1412 01:31:52,041 --> 01:31:55,749 Honey, that's enough, it wouldn't be suitable for children to watch if you keep doing that. 1413 01:31:58,625 --> 01:31:59,874 Lucky there's no XXX-rated material. 1414 01:32:01,625 --> 01:32:04,249 Shit! It's burnt. 1415 01:32:07,625 --> 01:32:09,749 My last move. 1416 01:32:10,125 --> 01:32:11,165 There's a Last Move? 1417 01:32:11,375 --> 01:32:13,832 Lightning drill! 1418 01:32:18,541 --> 01:32:19,874 Where's he gone to? 1419 01:32:23,541 --> 01:32:25,832 Lightning drill is awesome. 1420 01:32:28,375 --> 01:32:29,624 Honey, are you okay? 1421 01:32:29,875 --> 01:32:31,082 I can't pull my hand out. 1422 01:32:32,625 --> 01:32:37,374 Want to ruin my face? I have dismantled your armour 1423 01:32:44,416 --> 01:32:46,499 There's only one bullet in a western pistol. 1424 01:32:46,708 --> 01:32:49,832 If you can't kill me with the one and only bullet, you will be dead. 1425 01:32:49,958 --> 01:32:52,540 Well, then we'd have no choice but to... Run! 1426 01:33:01,458 --> 01:33:04,582 We didn't kill you with one shot. What about a HUNDRED shots? 1427 01:33:04,791 --> 01:33:06,957 Well, then try out my new invention! 1428 01:33:07,208 --> 01:33:10,332 The multi barrelled "Don't-know-wheel" gun! 1429 01:33:11,791 --> 01:33:13,624 "What the.... wheel" is this? 1430 01:33:28,958 --> 01:33:31,082 Honey, you are so cool. 1431 01:33:31,625 --> 01:33:32,915 Really? 1432 01:33:35,250 --> 01:33:40,624 I don't deserve to be killed by low-lives like you. 1433 01:33:41,333 --> 01:33:43,415 To die by my sword, would that be satisfactory? 1434 01:33:51,083 --> 01:33:52,457 Huh? That same old trick Again? 1435 01:33:59,083 --> 01:34:01,582 What can you do to me now? 1436 01:34:06,041 --> 01:34:10,374 Huh? I can run... run... run... 1437 01:34:11,333 --> 01:34:11,957 Splat! It's done! 1438 01:34:14,625 --> 01:34:18,457 Royal Tiger! Face the throne! 1439 01:34:18,750 --> 01:34:19,832 Your Majesty 1440 01:34:20,750 --> 01:34:22,957 I will make you the Head of all Royal Secret Guards. 1441 01:34:23,208 --> 01:34:24,540 Stay by me 24 hours per day, 7 days per week. 1442 01:34:24,791 --> 01:34:25,957 Thanks, Your Majesty. 1443 01:34:26,125 --> 01:34:27,707 And I will make you my son-in-law! 1444 01:34:27,958 --> 01:34:30,707 Let's pick a good day for you to marry Princess Rainbow. 1445 01:34:36,916 --> 01:34:37,957 Well, as for that... 1446 01:34:38,166 --> 01:34:40,124 Just help me out here... 1447 01:34:40,333 --> 01:34:43,082 No one would marry her except you. 1448 01:34:43,291 --> 01:34:44,582 Thank you, Your Majesty. 1449 01:34:44,708 --> 01:34:47,290 Clement! Clementine! Face the throne! 1450 01:34:47,833 --> 01:34:50,957 You two have saved me, I will grant you two the title of 1451 01:34:51,166 --> 01:34:53,957 The Birds of a feather, Yin Yang Glorious Couple. 1452 01:34:54,250 --> 01:34:57,082 You could travel throughout the country with no restrictions whatsoever. 1453 01:34:57,291 --> 01:35:00,624 Royal Dog! Face the throne! 1454 01:35:00,875 --> 01:35:03,457 Your Majesty, he and my daughter have disappeared 1455 01:35:03,708 --> 01:35:04,749 and are already gone to God-knows-where. 1456 01:35:10,833 --> 01:35:13,249 This is so romantic. 1457 01:35:13,750 --> 01:35:15,290 We will have lots of kids 1458 01:35:15,500 --> 01:35:17,707 on this kite. 1459 01:35:17,958 --> 01:35:20,582 Faithfull, I know you are horny. 1460 01:35:20,750 --> 01:35:22,582 but I spent lots of money in making this kite. 1461 01:35:22,750 --> 01:35:24,915 If it is damaged, I can't afford to make another one. 1462 01:35:25,125 --> 01:35:27,499 Unless I can get a few more sponsors... 1463 01:35:27,750 --> 01:35:28,499 then we can do whatever you want on this kite. 1464 01:35:28,625 --> 01:35:29,957 Come and take a look. 1465 01:35:30,041 --> 01:35:31,882 Sponsor Banner reads Royal Dog loves Girlie Red Wine and Old Man Pizza. 1466 01:35:31,925 --> 01:35:33,582 No need to look. 1467 01:35:33,625 --> 01:35:35,124 Faithfull uses MJ skin care products 1468 01:35:42,041 --> 01:35:43,790 Royal Dog. 1469 01:35:44,416 --> 01:35:46,415 What? Ninja again? 1470 01:35:51,541 --> 01:35:52,582 You are... 1471 01:35:52,791 --> 01:35:54,915 It's me, Gemini. 1472 01:35:55,083 --> 01:35:57,290 Faithfull, he is such a nice guy... 1473 01:35:57,583 --> 01:35:59,540 I won't let you have him so easily. 1474 01:35:59,791 --> 01:36:02,624 Royal Dog, I fancy you so much. 1475 01:36:03,916 --> 01:36:05,165 Wow, not bad at all. 1476 01:36:05,416 --> 01:36:06,624 No ogling! 1477 01:36:07,125 --> 01:36:08,165 Trying steal my hubby, is it? 1478 01:36:08,333 --> 01:36:09,749 I am gonna kill you!!! 1479 01:36:10,333 --> 01:36:16,749 Written by MarineSWS (for the Cantonese version) 104100

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