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1
00:00:01,615 --> 00:00:06,150
Nice.
And don't forget bug spray.
2
00:00:06,152 --> 00:00:08,554
It's perfect for spraying
in the face of hitchhikers.
3
00:00:08,555 --> 00:00:10,388
Whoa! An RV, camping gear.
4
00:00:10,391 --> 00:00:12,557
Are you running from the law again?
5
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,561
Dude, it's the ultimate
Oregon road trip adventure.
6
00:00:15,563 --> 00:00:18,114
More like revenge trip.
Every year, my tourist
7
00:00:18,114 --> 00:00:20,666
trap competitors prank
the Mystery Shack.
8
00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:23,868
Last year, those hooligans
duct taped Soos to the ceiling.
9
00:00:23,870 --> 00:00:27,640
- That was a fun 78 hours.
- Well, no more. This year, we're
10
00:00:27,641 --> 00:00:30,341
visiting every tourist trap
along the Redwood Highway,
11
00:00:30,344 --> 00:00:32,878
and I'm gonna prank
back every single one.
12
00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,481
Bow-wow.
Time to let the Road Dawgs bark.
13
00:00:36,484 --> 00:00:39,218
That is us.
We are the Road Dawgs.
14
00:00:39,219 --> 00:00:41,152
Thanks for letting me
bring Candy and Grenda along
15
00:00:41,155 --> 00:00:44,289
- for our road trip, Grunkle Stan.
- The more, the merrier.
16
00:00:44,290 --> 00:00:46,892
Just sign these
non-disclosure agreements.
17
00:00:46,893 --> 00:00:49,228
None of your parents are lawyers, right?
18
00:00:49,229 --> 00:00:50,862
What do you say, dude?
You comin'?
19
00:00:50,865 --> 00:00:54,165
I already went to the trouble
of packing all your stuff.
20
00:00:54,167 --> 00:00:56,234
Even the stuff you kept in
that secret box under the bed.
21
00:00:56,237 --> 00:00:58,936
Whoa! What the...
22
00:00:58,939 --> 00:01:02,508
- What's that?
- Uh, nothing.
23
00:01:02,509 --> 00:01:04,876
Just... Wendy stuff, from old times.
24
00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:09,347
Bro, I thought you were
finally past all this.
25
00:01:09,349 --> 00:01:12,518
I know, I know.
I know she's not interested,
26
00:01:12,519 --> 00:01:13,965
and I know it's over, but
27
00:01:13,965 --> 00:01:16,855
how do you just turn off
the way you feel about someone?
28
00:01:16,856 --> 00:01:19,424
Two words, Dipper. Move on.
29
00:01:19,426 --> 00:01:21,760
Yeah, dude, and a road
trip's the perfect place
30
00:01:21,762 --> 00:01:23,594
to meet new people.
31
00:01:27,251 --> 00:01:29,926
_
32
00:02:05,644 --> 00:02:08,644
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
33
00:02:08,645 --> 00:02:11,887
2x16 - Roadside Attraction
34
00:02:17,330 --> 00:02:18,931
Man, RV's are amazing.
35
00:02:18,932 --> 00:02:22,967
I can't believe we're sitting at a table
in a moving vehicle.
36
00:02:22,969 --> 00:02:25,503
Ooh! Informational travel pamphlets.
37
00:02:25,506 --> 00:02:28,507
I want to read them all and
gain their travel knowledge.
38
00:02:28,509 --> 00:02:31,509
Kid, those useless pamphlets
have never helped a single person.
39
00:02:31,512 --> 00:02:34,280
The only wrinkly old travel
guide you'll need is me.
40
00:02:34,281 --> 00:02:37,682
Now look alive.
We're coming up on an attraction
41
00:02:37,685 --> 00:02:40,319
run by the most black-hearted
proprietor in all of Oregon.
42
00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:46,491
Don't let the face fool you.
This woman lit my car on fire
43
00:02:46,493 --> 00:02:48,426
on two non-consecutive occasions.
44
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:50,162
Whoa!
45
00:02:50,163 --> 00:02:54,165
I'm going in, girls.
Whaaaa!
46
00:02:57,356 --> 00:03:01,227
Okay, like Soos said,
meet new people.
47
00:03:02,930 --> 00:03:07,365
- So, uh, come here often?
- No. I'm a tourist.
48
00:03:07,367 --> 00:03:09,502
You're funny... and cute.
49
00:03:09,503 --> 00:03:13,239
I mean, not cute.
I mean, you're not not cute.
50
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,908
Whew, let me start over.
My name is Dopper.
51
00:03:19,546 --> 00:03:21,579
Dipper, hop to.
52
00:03:21,581 --> 00:03:24,313
This ball of yarn ain't
gonna prank itself.
53
00:03:30,425 --> 00:03:32,358
Something on your mind, kiddo?
54
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,926
Thinkin' about Miss Cold
Shoulder over there, huh?
55
00:03:34,929 --> 00:03:36,929
Ah, I'm so embarrassed.
56
00:03:36,930 --> 00:03:39,899
Look, earlier this summer, I
ruined my chances with Wendy.
57
00:03:39,901 --> 00:03:42,168
Yeah. Chances.
58
00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:45,603
And I wanna move on, but I'm
terrible at talking to girls.
59
00:03:45,605 --> 00:03:49,875
The moment I open my mouth around
them, I unravel like... like...
60
00:03:49,877 --> 00:03:52,877
well, I can't think of a perfect
metaphor, but you get the gist.
61
00:03:52,879 --> 00:03:56,498
At this rate, I'm gonna grow
up to be a sad loner like
62
00:03:56,500 --> 00:04:00,118
- Toby Determined.
- Whoa, never say that about yourself.
63
00:04:00,121 --> 00:04:02,320
Lucky for you, I'm an expert on women.
64
00:04:02,323 --> 00:04:05,858
Listen to me, kid. When it comes
to girls, always be confident,
65
00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:07,460
and be funny, but not too funny.
66
00:04:07,461 --> 00:04:10,162
And be kind of annoying,
but in a loveable way.
67
00:04:10,163 --> 00:04:12,897
I don't know, Grunkle Stan.
This sounds kinda jerky.
68
00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:15,967
Hey, "jerky" is just
a term non-jerks use
69
00:04:15,969 --> 00:04:18,036
to bad-mouth innocent jerks.
70
00:04:18,038 --> 00:04:21,040
Confidence, comedy, some
third word starting with a "C."
71
00:04:21,042 --> 00:04:23,908
The three C's of the Stan
Pines Dating Technique.
72
00:04:23,911 --> 00:04:26,245
At the next tourist
trap, try out my advice
73
00:04:26,247 --> 00:04:30,483
- on the first girl you see.
- Cool. Grunkle Stan, thanks.
74
00:04:30,485 --> 00:04:32,151
Hey, I'm full of good ideas.
75
00:04:32,153 --> 00:04:35,387
Speakin' of which,
everyone, now!
76
00:04:42,396 --> 00:04:45,663
Why, you gol-darned
son of a no-good!
77
00:04:46,167 --> 00:04:47,810
_
78
00:04:48,935 --> 00:04:51,269
I'll get you, Stan Pines!
79
00:04:51,271 --> 00:04:52,867
_
80
00:04:55,108 --> 00:04:58,944
Ah, Upside-down Town.
The nausea capital of the state.
81
00:04:58,946 --> 00:05:01,480
Whatever you do, don't
use the bathrooms.
82
00:05:01,482 --> 00:05:03,682
Road Dawgs!
83
00:05:07,677 --> 00:05:09,654
Nice!
84
00:05:09,656 --> 00:05:11,923
- Whoa!
- So weird.
85
00:05:20,533 --> 00:05:24,437
All right, kid, this is it.
Be confident.
86
00:05:24,439 --> 00:05:27,706
Hi. I'm Dipper.
Crazy place, right?
87
00:05:27,707 --> 00:05:29,641
Oh, hi. I'm Emma Sue.
88
00:05:29,644 --> 00:05:31,543
You know, if you pretend
we're right-side up,
89
00:05:31,545 --> 00:05:34,012
it looks like everyone's
hair is standing on end.
90
00:05:34,014 --> 00:05:37,182
Huh, yeah. Weird, right?
Pretend you're screaming.
91
00:05:37,185 --> 00:05:39,485
Okay. You gotta take a
picture of me, though.
92
00:05:41,055 --> 00:05:44,557
Let's see... whoa!
Ho ho, just kidding.
93
00:05:44,558 --> 00:05:47,659
- You are the worst.
- You bet I am.
94
00:05:47,661 --> 00:05:50,528
I'm bad, Emma.
Kind of a jerk.
95
00:05:50,531 --> 00:05:52,031
Emma, come on.
We have to get to Canada
96
00:05:52,033 --> 00:05:55,367
- before your mother gives birth.
- It's a long story.
97
00:05:55,369 --> 00:05:59,038
- Maybe you could tell me sometime.
- Here's my email address.
98
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,173
Write me and I'll tell you all about it.
99
00:06:02,541 --> 00:06:05,744
A girl gave me her email,
and it wasn't out of pity.
100
00:06:05,745 --> 00:06:08,112
Ha ha, yes!
101
00:06:08,115 --> 00:06:12,050
Ugh! I'm okay.
I'm better than okay.
102
00:06:12,052 --> 00:06:13,752
Mabel, hi. There's my Grenda.
103
00:06:13,754 --> 00:06:15,387
Candy, looking great, looking great.
104
00:06:15,389 --> 00:06:18,557
Is that a new pair of
glasses? Very shiny.
105
00:06:18,559 --> 00:06:20,425
Whoo!
106
00:06:20,427 --> 00:06:24,730
Maybe it's the blood pooling in my
head, but Dipper seems different.
107
00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:28,033
Yes, good different.
108
00:06:28,035 --> 00:06:29,634
Now, Soos.
109
00:06:37,677 --> 00:06:39,711
Not too upside-down now.
110
00:06:39,713 --> 00:06:45,016
- What a lovely normal home.
- Stan Pines!
111
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,620
I can't believe it worked.
112
00:06:48,622 --> 00:06:50,422
What do I do now?
Do I email her?
113
00:06:50,423 --> 00:06:52,358
No, no, you practice.
114
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,692
The more girls you talk to,
the better you get at it.
115
00:06:54,694 --> 00:06:57,562
Grunkle Stan, these tips are priceless.
116
00:06:57,564 --> 00:07:00,165
And that's just the
tip of the advice-berg.
117
00:07:18,485 --> 00:07:21,052
- Everyone on board?
- Probably.
118
00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:27,793
Guys? Hello?
Anyone?
119
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:30,095
They'll come back for me.
120
00:07:31,197 --> 00:07:35,768
So then I said to the bouncer,
"Where's your ID, ugly?"
121
00:07:35,769 --> 00:07:37,403
That's where I got this scar.
122
00:07:37,404 --> 00:07:39,737
Grunkle Stan, I gotta say,
123
00:07:39,740 --> 00:07:43,452
this was one of the
best days ever. Look!
124
00:07:44,144 --> 00:07:47,346
That's the Stan Pines method, kid.
Works every time.
125
00:07:47,348 --> 00:07:50,115
I'm just a little worried, though.
126
00:07:50,117 --> 00:07:52,784
I mean, is it bad to flirt
with this many girls at once?
127
00:07:52,786 --> 00:07:55,153
I'm just trying to get over Wendy.
128
00:07:55,156 --> 00:07:56,788
I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings.
129
00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:59,725
Please. That's the best part
of flirting on a road trip.
130
00:07:59,726 --> 00:08:01,694
You're not gonna see
any of these gals again.
131
00:08:01,696 --> 00:08:03,562
To moving on.
132
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,600
Okay, it's time for...
133
00:08:08,603 --> 00:08:10,636
Truth or dare or don't!
134
00:08:10,637 --> 00:08:14,639
- I choose don't.
- You always choose don't.
135
00:08:14,641 --> 00:08:20,211
- Fine. Uh... truth.
- Do you like someone?
136
00:08:20,213 --> 00:08:24,682
Uh-oh. Someone's blushing.
137
00:08:24,685 --> 00:08:26,752
Okay, maybe just a little.
138
00:08:26,754 --> 00:08:29,187
I don't know for sure.
It just started.
139
00:08:29,189 --> 00:08:30,889
Tell us, tell us!
140
00:08:30,891 --> 00:08:35,126
Okay. It begins with a "D,"
and ends with an "ipper."
141
00:08:35,129 --> 00:08:37,596
- No.
- Yes.
142
00:08:38,865 --> 00:08:42,533
Ready, Grenda?
Three, two, one.
143
00:08:45,373 --> 00:08:48,528
Man, coyotes sound a lot
worse than I remember.
144
00:08:50,644 --> 00:08:53,345
Candy, Candy, all my life
dreams are coming true right now.
145
00:08:53,346 --> 00:08:57,048
- My brother, my best friend.
- I can't breathe!
146
00:08:57,051 --> 00:09:00,085
I'm so excited, I can't breathe!
147
00:09:00,086 --> 00:09:04,023
I never really noticed him before,
but he seems deeper lately,
148
00:09:04,024 --> 00:09:06,357
less sweaty and more charming.
149
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,259
But how do I approach him?
150
00:09:08,261 --> 00:09:13,067
Don't even worry about that, Can-Can.
Mabel's got a plan.
151
00:09:14,145 --> 00:09:16,928
Mabel's got a plan.
152
00:09:18,672 --> 00:09:21,039
All right, campers, we got another day
153
00:09:21,042 --> 00:09:22,508
of breakin' laws and breakin' hearts.
154
00:09:22,509 --> 00:09:24,677
Everything up until now
has been a walk in the park
155
00:09:24,678 --> 00:09:26,345
compared to our next attraction.
156
00:09:26,346 --> 00:09:28,746
Is it a walk in the
world's biggest park?
157
00:09:28,749 --> 00:09:32,985
Sort of. There she is, kids.
Mystery Mountain.
158
00:09:34,287 --> 00:09:36,588
Five times the size
of the Mystery Shack,
159
00:09:36,591 --> 00:09:39,124
and what's worse, she
has real attractions.
160
00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:41,025
Oh, I have read about this place.
161
00:09:41,028 --> 00:09:44,028
It has sky tram,
and a mummy museum,
162
00:09:44,030 --> 00:09:47,700
and sightings of half-human,
half-spider creatures.
163
00:09:47,701 --> 00:09:50,702
Even their made-up legends
are better than ours.
164
00:09:50,705 --> 00:09:53,438
Today, the mountain falls.
165
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,209
Question: The backseat makes me carsick.
166
00:09:57,211 --> 00:09:58,744
Can I sit up front today?
167
00:09:58,745 --> 00:10:01,413
Also a question: I'm
the size of two people.
168
00:10:01,414 --> 00:10:03,515
Can I have a whole seat to myself?
169
00:10:03,518 --> 00:10:06,791
- I don't know. Sure.
- Ooh, change-up!
170
00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:10,556
Wait, that means
it'll be just me and...
171
00:10:10,557 --> 00:10:14,192
- Candy Chu. Sixth grade.
- Oh! Hey.
172
00:10:19,131 --> 00:10:21,033
You're sitting close.
173
00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:26,438
So Dipper, I was wondering,
would you maybe want
174
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,674
to walk around the Mystery
Mountain with me today?
175
00:10:29,677 --> 00:10:31,277
Sure. I mean...
176
00:10:31,278 --> 00:10:35,047
- wasn't that already the plan?
- I mean, just us.
177
00:10:35,048 --> 00:10:38,171
You and me.
Candy and Dipper.
178
00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:46,792
All right, Road Dawgs, I got five bucks
179
00:10:46,793 --> 00:10:51,062
for whoever can tip the big blue ox.
Go, go, go.
180
00:10:51,065 --> 00:10:54,466
I will see you in there.
181
00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:58,770
- Hey, what's with the mopey mug, kid?
- Stan, you gotta help me.
182
00:10:58,773 --> 00:11:00,605
Everything you taught
me worked too well.
183
00:11:00,607 --> 00:11:02,508
I think Candy just
asked me out on a date.
184
00:11:02,509 --> 00:11:06,778
- Hey, look at this little champion.
- What? No. I mean...
185
00:11:06,780 --> 00:11:09,114
Candy's great, she's
sweet, and she's smart,
186
00:11:09,115 --> 00:11:11,783
but I never thought of her like that.
187
00:11:11,785 --> 00:11:14,119
This is all moving way too fast.
188
00:11:15,623 --> 00:11:17,789
Okay, I just need to be honest with her,
189
00:11:17,792 --> 00:11:20,426
and tell her I'm not ready for all this.
190
00:11:20,427 --> 00:11:23,361
Don't you see
what's happening here?
191
00:11:23,364 --> 00:11:25,565
That's your dumb obsession
with Wendy gettin'
192
00:11:25,566 --> 00:11:27,765
in the way of your future.
If you wanna move on,
193
00:11:27,768 --> 00:11:30,230
you gotta say yes to
whatever comes your way.
194
00:11:30,476 --> 00:11:32,615
Speaking of which...
195
00:11:34,106 --> 00:11:38,277
- But I don't wanna lead her on.
- Uh-uh-uh, watch and learn.
196
00:11:38,278 --> 00:11:42,847
Whoa, I seem to have lost my number.
Can I borrow yours?
197
00:11:42,850 --> 00:11:47,286
You are a riot.
What brings you here?
198
00:11:47,288 --> 00:11:50,456
We don't normally get men this
handsome round these parts.
199
00:11:50,457 --> 00:11:53,493
Well, Darlene, between you and
200
00:11:53,494 --> 00:11:56,528
me, what I'm doin'
here is a little secret.
201
00:11:56,529 --> 00:11:59,764
Oh, you seem like a man with secrets.
202
00:12:01,268 --> 00:12:04,535
- Ugh!
- You know, I'm going on a break.
203
00:12:04,538 --> 00:12:07,639
You wanna take the sky
tram up to Widow's Peak?
204
00:12:07,642 --> 00:12:12,144
Take my advice or don't, but
clearly, I know what I'm doing.
205
00:12:12,145 --> 00:12:14,212
Oh, fancy.
206
00:12:21,388 --> 00:12:25,323
Oh, I can't believe this is happening.
A real date.
207
00:12:25,326 --> 00:12:26,859
I wonder what they'll name the baby.
208
00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:31,697
If I had a baby, I would name it
Grenda 2: The Sequel.
209
00:12:31,698 --> 00:12:34,432
You would make such a good mother.
210
00:12:35,934 --> 00:12:39,187
- This place is so enchanting.
- Sort of confused
211
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:41,306
by the phrase
"new mummies daily" though.
212
00:12:41,307 --> 00:12:42,640
I mean, how does that even work?
213
00:12:42,643 --> 00:12:44,876
This mountain's full of mysteries.
214
00:12:44,879 --> 00:12:47,946
Like why is my head
falling on your shoulder?
215
00:12:47,947 --> 00:12:52,317
- Beeoop.
- Uh, yep, this is what I want.
216
00:12:52,318 --> 00:12:54,687
This is all part of the plan and stuff.
217
00:12:54,688 --> 00:12:57,889
- Oh, Dipper, hey.
- Corn maze girl.
218
00:12:57,892 --> 00:13:01,894
- I was wondering when you'd call.
- Dipper, who is this?
219
00:13:01,895 --> 00:13:04,740
Nobody. I mean, uh...
somebody, but...
220
00:13:04,774 --> 00:13:08,200
Dipper!
I didn't recognize you right-side up.
221
00:13:08,201 --> 00:13:09,967
You'll never guess
where my mom gave birth.
222
00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:13,772
- Hey, who are these girls?
- Dipper, why haven't you called?
223
00:13:13,774 --> 00:13:16,274
Did our romantic log ride
mean nothing to you?
224
00:13:16,277 --> 00:13:19,644
I can't believe it.
You agreed to go on a date with me,
225
00:13:19,647 --> 00:13:21,647
and you are seeing
all these other girls?
226
00:13:21,649 --> 00:13:23,916
Well, answer us.
Which one of us do you like?
227
00:13:23,918 --> 00:13:26,217
I... I like all of you.
228
00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:29,254
I mean, I don't like any of you.
I mean...
229
00:13:29,255 --> 00:13:30,788
I was trying to learn
how to talk to girls.
230
00:13:32,293 --> 00:13:34,259
- Unbelievable.
- So gross.
231
00:13:34,260 --> 00:13:35,727
What a jerk.
232
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:39,230
Dipper Pines, I thought
you were a nice guy,
233
00:13:39,232 --> 00:13:42,124
but I guess you only
care about yourself.
234
00:13:42,902 --> 00:13:47,405
Uh, Candy, wait.
I messed everything up.
235
00:13:47,408 --> 00:13:49,942
I gotta find Stan.
He'll know what to do.
236
00:13:49,943 --> 00:13:54,746
Oh, are you sure you wanna go
this deep into the forest?
237
00:13:54,749 --> 00:13:57,448
- It's so scary.
- Ha. Don't worry, toots.
238
00:13:57,451 --> 00:13:59,951
That spider people stuff
is just an urban legend.
239
00:13:59,953 --> 00:14:02,019
I can't believe people fall for it.
240
00:14:02,022 --> 00:14:03,788
You're so brave.
241
00:14:03,791 --> 00:14:05,957
What can I say?
I'm a real catch.
242
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,725
Yes.
243
00:14:07,727 --> 00:14:09,628
The catch of the day.
244
00:14:09,629 --> 00:14:12,683
Uh, I think your contacts fell out.
245
00:14:15,469 --> 00:14:18,537
Uh, have you
seen an old guy around here?
246
00:14:18,538 --> 00:14:20,706
Big ears, orange nose,
a real know-it-all.
247
00:14:22,542 --> 00:14:24,842
Uh-uh-uh. Flame
retardant raccoon says,
248
00:14:24,845 --> 00:14:27,312
don't hug forest fires.
249
00:14:29,649 --> 00:14:32,384
Stan, where are you?
I need your advice.
250
00:14:32,385 --> 00:14:34,820
Grunkle Stan?
251
00:14:34,822 --> 00:14:36,788
Hey, buddy boy.
252
00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:38,956
Remember how we were
talkin' about my technique?
253
00:14:38,959 --> 00:14:41,692
Well, sometimes it leads
to unexpected consequences.
254
00:14:41,695 --> 00:14:43,629
Yeah, you can say that
again. Where are you?
255
00:14:43,630 --> 00:14:45,496
The good news is,
I've solved the mystery
256
00:14:45,499 --> 00:14:46,899
of where Oregon's mummies
come from.
257
00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:48,366
The bad news is,
258
00:14:48,369 --> 00:14:50,402
I'm about to become one.
259
00:14:50,403 --> 00:14:53,038
Turns out Darlene is one
of those spider people.
260
00:14:53,039 --> 00:14:55,650
But beyond that, the date's been okay.
261
00:14:57,201 --> 00:15:00,096
Wait, wait, wait.
Darlene's a spider person?
262
00:15:00,097 --> 00:15:03,231
- How is that possible?
- I don't know.
263
00:15:03,234 --> 00:15:04,966
One minute, we're having a perfect date,
264
00:15:04,969 --> 00:15:07,102
and the next minute,
she's growing extra legs
265
00:15:07,105 --> 00:15:09,304
and encasing me in webbing.
Women, right?
266
00:15:09,307 --> 00:15:13,308
- You couldn't tell she was a spider?!
- I was blinded by flattery.
267
00:15:13,311 --> 00:15:15,610
Also this acid she spit in my face.
268
00:15:15,613 --> 00:15:17,312
I'm up the mountain at Widow's Peak.
269
00:15:17,315 --> 00:15:19,881
All right, I'm gonna find you. Stay put!
270
00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:23,418
You got it.
271
00:15:23,421 --> 00:15:26,522
Uh-uh. Trying to escape?
272
00:15:27,624 --> 00:15:32,227
You tricked me. I'm 80% certain
you don't really love me at all.
273
00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:34,963
Ha! Men will fall for anything.
274
00:15:34,966 --> 00:15:37,133
"You're so funny. Great story.
275
00:15:37,134 --> 00:15:40,068
I love a man with shoulder hair."
276
00:15:40,071 --> 00:15:43,105
You... You didn't mean
it about my shoulder hair?
277
00:15:43,106 --> 00:15:45,240
Tell me, Stan, before I transformed,
278
00:15:45,243 --> 00:15:47,610
who'd you think was in charge?
279
00:15:47,611 --> 00:15:51,614
You, with your cheesy
lines and fake confidence?
280
00:15:51,615 --> 00:15:55,985
I'm the master pick-up artist here.
Sorry, toots.
281
00:15:55,986 --> 00:15:58,687
This time, you're getting
used for your body,
282
00:15:58,688 --> 00:16:01,524
which, to my weird species, is food.
283
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:04,559
Allow me to slip into
something more horrifying.
284
00:16:08,298 --> 00:16:10,298
I wonder what beverage pairs well
285
00:16:10,301 --> 00:16:13,001
with a vintage
70-something-year-old man.
286
00:16:13,004 --> 00:16:14,636
Be right back.
287
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,340
Come on, Dipper, where are you?
288
00:16:18,341 --> 00:16:20,860
I feel like such a fool. I should have
289
00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:23,379
known to guard my
heart in a cage of ice.
290
00:16:23,380 --> 00:16:27,316
There, there. Let my
calming voice soothe you.
291
00:16:27,317 --> 00:16:28,951
It is helping.
292
00:16:28,952 --> 00:16:30,485
Girls, there you are.
293
00:16:30,488 --> 00:16:33,522
- Betrayer!
- Oh, you. What do you want?
294
00:16:33,524 --> 00:16:37,058
- I need your help.
- With what, some sick jealousy trip?
295
00:16:37,061 --> 00:16:39,394
- Yes, sing it, Candy!
- Testify!
296
00:16:39,397 --> 00:16:43,065
Look, I'm so sorry about everything,
but Stan's in trouble.
297
00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:46,235
You can totally kill me later,
but right now, he needs us.
298
00:16:46,236 --> 00:16:48,203
I'll explain on the way.
299
00:16:55,178 --> 00:16:57,546
Please. I don't know if
you're really up there or not,
300
00:16:57,548 --> 00:17:00,716
but if you are, please
save me, Paul Bunyan.
301
00:17:00,717 --> 00:17:02,551
Mr. Pines!
302
00:17:02,552 --> 00:17:04,487
Whoa, did that really work?
303
00:17:08,057 --> 00:17:10,659
Quick, before the rest
of the venom sets in.
304
00:17:12,761 --> 00:17:15,163
No! Where are you?
305
00:17:16,766 --> 00:17:20,368
The sky tram, everybody on.
I have a plan.
306
00:17:20,371 --> 00:17:23,204
- Ha ha, yeah!
- Perfect.
307
00:17:23,207 --> 00:17:25,508
Ride like the wind, sky tram!
308
00:17:27,044 --> 00:17:29,711
Welcome to Trambience,
309
00:17:29,713 --> 00:17:31,614
the world's slowest treetop tram ride.
310
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:35,317
Enjoy the sights
at 0.1 miles per hour.
311
00:17:35,318 --> 00:17:37,152
Move, move, move!
312
00:17:37,153 --> 00:17:39,421
Can't this thing go any faster?
313
00:17:39,423 --> 00:17:41,690
No, it can't.
This is Trambience.
314
00:17:51,233 --> 00:17:55,611
Enjoying the view?
Take a picture.
315
00:17:59,209 --> 00:18:02,044
- We're doomed!
- We're all gonna die!
316
00:18:03,547 --> 00:18:05,314
Listen carefully.
317
00:18:05,316 --> 00:18:07,816
This sky tram has an
emergency drop switch.
318
00:18:07,817 --> 00:18:10,818
Below us is Oregon's
largest Paul Bunyan statue.
319
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:14,789
And Old Reliable goes
off in five, four...
320
00:18:14,791 --> 00:18:16,825
Candy, wait!
Don't pull that lever.
321
00:18:16,826 --> 00:18:19,728
- Kid, are you crazy?
- Now!
322
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,354
Nooo!
323
00:18:41,817 --> 00:18:44,219
My only weakness, a giant boot.
324
00:18:44,221 --> 00:18:49,166
A giant newspaper or a giant cup
would also have been pretty bad.
325
00:18:50,093 --> 00:18:52,094
Thank you for riding
Trambience sky tram.
326
00:18:52,096 --> 00:18:54,762
Tell your friends it was
a boring, boring ride.
327
00:18:54,765 --> 00:18:57,865
Kid, that was ingenious!
How'd you know that would work?
328
00:18:57,867 --> 00:19:01,103
"Useless travel pamphlets."
329
00:19:01,105 --> 00:19:03,404
Stanley.
330
00:19:04,874 --> 00:19:07,710
I'm sorry. I don't
know what came over me.
331
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:11,512
- You'll let me out, right?
- What? After all that?
332
00:19:11,515 --> 00:19:13,848
Seriously, do I look like an amnesiac?
333
00:19:13,851 --> 00:19:17,619
You're so funny.
334
00:19:17,622 --> 00:19:19,887
Have you ever considered
becoming a comedian?
335
00:19:19,890 --> 00:19:25,193
You know, I actually have.
Comedy is too subtle these days.
336
00:19:25,195 --> 00:19:27,730
My style involves
more over-sized props.
337
00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:29,897
- Hey, let me get you out...
- No!
338
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:31,666
Oh, yeah, right.
339
00:19:31,669 --> 00:19:34,836
You win this round,
Stan, but mark my words.
340
00:19:34,838 --> 00:19:36,904
As long as there's
men like you out there,
341
00:19:36,906 --> 00:19:38,874
with their dumb one-liners,
342
00:19:38,875 --> 00:19:41,576
and pick-up moves, I'll
never run out of prey.
343
00:19:41,578 --> 00:19:45,180
Get in the car, get in the car!
344
00:20:00,696 --> 00:20:05,601
All right, kid, I gotta admit something.
I'm no expert on women.
345
00:20:05,603 --> 00:20:07,603
Truth is, I've been divorced once,
346
00:20:07,605 --> 00:20:09,438
and slapped more times
than I can remember.
347
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,941
Confidence can buy you a lot,
but at the end of the day,
348
00:20:12,942 --> 00:20:15,210
pick-up artists tend to
get our heads bitten off.
349
00:20:15,211 --> 00:20:20,189
- When it comes to women, I'm a failure.
- Hey, we're both failures.
350
00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:23,685
You know, even if your
dating tips were bad,
351
00:20:23,688 --> 00:20:26,587
I actually haven't thought
about Wendy all day.
352
00:20:26,589 --> 00:20:28,790
Plus, you did teach me
to be more confident.
353
00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:31,988
I guess I just need to learn
to use that power for good.
354
00:20:34,596 --> 00:20:38,558
Hey, I found a pamphlet I
don't think you've read yet.
355
00:20:42,672 --> 00:20:43,905
It's okay, Dipper.
356
00:20:43,907 --> 00:20:47,209
The open road makes
people do crazy things.
357
00:20:47,211 --> 00:20:49,978
Plus, after seeing you
flee the spider like a baby,
358
00:20:49,980 --> 00:20:54,750
- I kinda lost interest.
- Yep, yep. I deserve that.
359
00:20:58,556 --> 00:21:01,789
I still feel a little bad
about wrecking those tourist traps.
360
00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:03,692
Ah, come on.
Everyone loves my pranks.
361
00:21:03,693 --> 00:21:05,594
And the best part is,
I never have to face
362
00:21:05,596 --> 00:21:08,460
any consequences...
Sweet lord!
363
00:21:09,298 --> 00:21:11,633
Ah, come on!
364
00:21:15,003 --> 00:21:18,307
That's what you get.
That's what you get!
365
00:21:21,010 --> 00:21:25,314
I don't understand.
I completely don't deserve this.
366
00:21:25,316 --> 00:21:27,316
Oh, man, are we gonna
have to help clean this up?
367
00:21:27,317 --> 00:21:29,585
Nah, I'm sure Soos will take care of it.
368
00:21:29,586 --> 00:21:31,653
Where is Soos anyway?
369
00:21:35,991 --> 00:21:39,327
Okay, Soos, remember what
your grandma taught you.
370
00:21:39,329 --> 00:21:41,462
When you get lost, stay
exactly where you are,
371
00:21:41,464 --> 00:21:44,244
and don't move.
372
00:21:47,836 --> 00:21:50,905
Don't move.
373
00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:59,051
You know, I would make
a really good scarecrow.
374
00:21:59,186 --> 00:22:02,181
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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