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1
00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:05,267
(male narrator)
Tonight, on a very special
part one
2
00:00:05,267 --> 00:00:10,200
of a very special two-part
season finale of Clone High,
3
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,400
it's prom season,
and Abe must choose
4
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,500
between the woman he loves
5
00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:17,233
and that other girl
with the red hair.
6
00:00:17,233 --> 00:00:20,200
Hey, Mike, bring up that shot
of the two of them roll--
7
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:21,667
Yeah, that's the one.
8
00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:23,233
Well, I'll be in my trailer.
9
00:00:23,233 --> 00:00:26,067
(Abandoned Pools singing)
* Way, way back in the 1980s
10
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:29,000
* Secret government employees
11
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,900
* Dug up famous
guys and ladies *
12
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:34,933
* And made amusing
genetic copies *
13
00:00:34,933 --> 00:00:37,733
* Now the clones
are sexy teens now *
14
00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:40,667
* They're gonna make it
if they try *
15
00:00:40,667 --> 00:00:43,467
* Loving, learning,
sharing, judging *
16
00:00:43,467 --> 00:00:49,800
* Time to laugh
and shiver and cry *
17
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,533
* Clone High
18
00:00:52,533 --> 00:00:58,200
* Clone High
19
00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,633
[helicopter rotors whirring]
20
00:00:59,633 --> 00:01:00,633
[grunts and gasps]
21
00:01:02,833 --> 00:01:07,233
Marie Antoinette, will you go
to the prom with me?
22
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,333
Merde!
23
00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:12,567
Anne Boleyn...
24
00:01:12,567 --> 00:01:14,533
You think people are going
a little overboard
25
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:15,967
on these prom invitations?
26
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:18,600
[horse whinnies]
27
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,133
[horse screams]
28
00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:26,700
Helen of Troy, will you go
to the prom with Nostradamus?
29
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:28,767
Uh, no.
30
00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:31,167
I knew you were going
to say that.
31
00:01:31,167 --> 00:01:33,433
Ugh, if you're gonna
ask a girl to prom,
32
00:01:33,433 --> 00:01:35,100
try to avoid
the usual clichés,
33
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:37,633
like your helicopter
or your talking fetal horse.
34
00:01:37,633 --> 00:01:40,333
Whatever, I don't need
some guy in rented pants
35
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,633
taking me to a dance.
36
00:01:41,633 --> 00:01:43,567
Dance?
37
00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:45,800
Joan, you know the expression
38
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,867
"Prom is the single most
important event in your life"?
39
00:01:48,867 --> 00:01:49,867
No.
40
00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:52,433
Well, now you do.
41
00:01:52,433 --> 00:01:53,767
You want to be president?
42
00:01:53,767 --> 00:01:56,567
Well, you better go to prom,
because all of them did.
43
00:01:56,567 --> 00:01:57,733
Plus, prom is the night
44
00:01:57,733 --> 00:02:00,567
where everyone
steps up a base, sex-wise.
45
00:02:00,567 --> 00:02:05,267
Uh, listen, Abe, I really
don't want to go to prom.
46
00:02:05,267 --> 00:02:08,267
Abe, why are you wasting time
on that eyesore Joan?
47
00:02:08,267 --> 00:02:09,400
Shouldn't you be planning
48
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:10,967
on how you're asking me
to the prom?
49
00:02:10,967 --> 00:02:14,067
Which, since I'm Cleopatra,
will be the most original
50
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,333
and elaborate prom-posal
this school has ever seen.
51
00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:19,167
Yeah, yeah,
I'll get to it, Cleo.
52
00:02:19,167 --> 00:02:22,367
Oh, Joan,
you poor spinster.
53
00:02:22,367 --> 00:02:27,400
I'll make sure you get to prom,
one way or another.
54
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,767
Whoooo! Whoo!
55
00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:32,333
So, um, do you have
a prom date?
56
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:34,067
No takers so far,
Marie Curie,
57
00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:37,067
but I can't wait
to tear up the dance floor.
58
00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:38,833
And now that my testicles
have descended,
59
00:02:38,833 --> 00:02:41,467
I can't wait
for some serious dry humping.
60
00:02:41,467 --> 00:02:42,767
Yeah.
61
00:02:42,767 --> 00:02:44,067
Dry what?
62
00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:45,633
You know, like this...
63
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,200
[grunting]
64
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,467
But with your clothes on.
65
00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:51,267
That sounds kind of nice.
66
00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:52,567
Can't talk now, Marie.
67
00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:54,133
Got to go find me
a prom date.
68
00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:56,400
* Tra-la-la,
la-la, la-la *
69
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,467
(Mr. Butlertron)
Are you sure
making a documentary
70
00:02:59,467 --> 00:03:02,967
revealing your evil plan
is the best idea?
71
00:03:02,967 --> 00:03:05,367
Quiet, Mr. B.
It's on.
72
00:03:05,367 --> 00:03:07,567
I first got the idea
for Cloney Island
73
00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:10,533
after seeing the movie
Jurassic Park III.
74
00:03:10,533 --> 00:03:13,133
But my ill-conceived
amusement park will be filled
75
00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:16,867
with human clones
instead of zoo animals.
76
00:03:16,867 --> 00:03:19,733
It's as foolproof
as the amusement park
77
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,333
in the movie itself.
78
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:22,333
[phone rings]
79
00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:24,433
[laughing]
80
00:03:24,433 --> 00:03:27,400
Stamos on line two.
81
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,367
Is it prom season already?
82
00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:32,100
He beat me out for prom king
in high school,
83
00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,733
and every year,
he calls to rub it in.
84
00:03:34,733 --> 00:03:37,700
John!
Good to hear from you.
85
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:38,800
[laughing]
86
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,967
Yes, I do remember that.
87
00:03:41,967 --> 00:03:44,067
Yeah, you won, all right.
88
00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:46,500
Uh, say hi to Rebecca for me.
89
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:47,867
Okay, sure.
90
00:03:47,867 --> 00:03:49,733
I will.
Okay? Yeah.
91
00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:51,233
[polite laughter]
92
00:03:51,233 --> 00:03:52,900
Stamos!
93
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:56,200
Oh! There goes my whole day!
94
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,933
I hate Stamos!
95
00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:00,500
Motherfu--
96
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,933
[both slurping]
97
00:04:02,933 --> 00:04:04,967
You know, Cleo,
98
00:04:04,967 --> 00:04:07,900
prom is an important time
for all teens.
99
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:10,933
For example, it's where
we all lose our virginity.
100
00:04:10,933 --> 00:04:15,367
[laughing]
101
00:04:15,367 --> 00:04:18,733
I mean, right,
we're all virgins.
102
00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:21,533
Cleo, I have something
important to ask you.
103
00:04:21,533 --> 00:04:27,067
Cleo, will you please
do me the honor
104
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:29,767
of giving Joan a makeover
so she can get a prom date?
105
00:04:29,767 --> 00:04:30,867
What?
106
00:04:30,867 --> 00:04:32,233
Abe, even though
we're going out,
107
00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:33,700
you still have to ask me
to prom,
108
00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:36,700
and my invite has to be perfect
in every way.
109
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:40,433
Because, and this may have
slipped your mind,
110
00:04:40,433 --> 00:04:42,633
I'm Cleopatra.
111
00:04:42,633 --> 00:04:44,067
Joan, I'm on it.
112
00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:46,467
I'm just procrastinating
for some reason.
113
00:04:46,467 --> 00:04:48,067
There's no time
to explain why.
114
00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:49,967
But here's a little joke
to tide you over.
115
00:04:49,967 --> 00:04:51,767
I've seen the other invites.
116
00:04:51,767 --> 00:04:54,267
Two words: Bor-ing.
117
00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:57,067
[women chatting and giggling]
118
00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:58,233
[women gasp]
119
00:04:58,233 --> 00:04:59,367
Catherine the Great,
120
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,133
you ready to do
the dry humpty hump?
121
00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:03,133
Ah, get off your high horse.
122
00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:04,133
Susan B. Anthony,
123
00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:05,633
I got a dollar that says
124
00:05:05,633 --> 00:05:09,333
you got an addiction
to friction.
125
00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:11,467
[toilet flushes]
126
00:05:11,467 --> 00:05:13,067
Eva Perón.
127
00:05:13,067 --> 00:05:14,733
You keep your distance!
128
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:19,067
I just want someone to love,
129
00:05:19,067 --> 00:05:22,100
dry hump, leave,
and then brag about.
130
00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:23,633
Is that so wrong?
131
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:27,067
Get a load of that loser.
132
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:30,533
Talking to himself
in the mirror.
133
00:05:30,533 --> 00:05:31,667
You, handsome guy.
134
00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:33,067
What're you looking at?
135
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:34,700
I'm looking at you, hotshot.
136
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,733
Your devilish good looks
don't impress me.
137
00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:39,133
Well, what would impress you,
dreamboat?
138
00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:42,367
Getting that shrimp cocktail,
Gandhi, a prom date is what.
139
00:05:42,367 --> 00:05:43,733
What, are you cuckoo?
140
00:05:43,733 --> 00:05:46,567
What's the matter, turkey?
Chicken?
141
00:05:46,567 --> 00:05:49,367
A fin says I get
the crybaby a prom date.
142
00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:51,567
You got yourself a bet.
143
00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:54,267
You got yourself a bet,
pretty boy.
144
00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:58,067
Ugh, why do you let that guy
get to you?
145
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:06,367
Abe, you mentioned
an important prom decision
146
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,933
that you made about me?
147
00:06:07,933 --> 00:06:09,700
That's right, Joan.
148
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:11,700
I did, Joan.
149
00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:17,967
Joan, would you make me
the happiest guy on Earth
150
00:06:17,967 --> 00:06:20,533
and accompany me to...
151
00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:22,600
the mirror so I can give you
a makeover
152
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,267
so some other guy
will go to prom with you?
153
00:06:24,267 --> 00:06:26,233
Oh, Abe, of course I'd love--
154
00:06:26,233 --> 00:06:27,733
Uh, make-what now?
155
00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:29,433
Don't thank me yet.
156
00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:31,867
We got a lot of work to do.
157
00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:33,167
A lot of work.
158
00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:35,800
Uh, in what universe
would I ever let you
159
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,067
give me a makeover?
160
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:40,600
In the universe
where I care about you, Joan.
161
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,933
God knows I should be busy
planning a fancy way
162
00:06:42,933 --> 00:06:44,433
to invite Cleo to prom,
163
00:06:44,433 --> 00:06:45,967
but I can't get you
out of my mind.
164
00:06:45,967 --> 00:06:47,467
I'm in your mind?
165
00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:49,733
We'll have to spend
a lot of time alone together.
166
00:06:49,733 --> 00:06:52,067
Alone...together?
167
00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:53,567
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
168
00:06:53,567 --> 00:06:56,467
Oh, Abe, I've been waiting
for this moment my whole--
169
00:06:56,467 --> 00:06:57,900
Makeover!
170
00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:59,900
(men)
* Makeover, makeover
171
00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:01,133
* Makeover, makeover
172
00:07:01,133 --> 00:07:02,800
* Makeover, makeover
173
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,533
* Makeover
174
00:07:04,533 --> 00:07:06,300
* Makeover, makeover
175
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,867
* Makeover, makeover
176
00:07:07,867 --> 00:07:09,600
* Makeover, makeover
177
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,233
* Makeover
178
00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:12,700
* Makeover, makeover
179
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,967
* Makeover, makeover
180
00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:20,167
* For you and me
181
00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:24,767
Joan, are you ready
to be blown away?
182
00:07:26,633 --> 00:07:32,067
[horrified screaming]
183
00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:33,700
Joan, wait!
184
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,133
You forgot
your sexy vampire teeth.
185
00:07:36,133 --> 00:07:38,867
[Joan screaming]
186
00:07:42,367 --> 00:07:45,733
[airplane engine humming]
187
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,133
Joan. Joan.
188
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:49,667
Go away, Abe.
189
00:07:49,667 --> 00:07:51,767
I used to feel good
about myself,
190
00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:53,500
and then I met you.
191
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:56,067
But, Joan, you're so close.
192
00:07:56,067 --> 00:07:59,867
I can almost see the beauty that
is locked away inside of you,
193
00:07:59,867 --> 00:08:02,067
hidden far, far
below the surface
194
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,467
where no one can see it.
195
00:08:03,467 --> 00:08:05,733
I don't want
to be beautiful, Abe.
196
00:08:05,733 --> 00:08:07,533
I just want you.
197
00:08:07,533 --> 00:08:09,167
To get you a prom date.
198
00:08:09,167 --> 00:08:11,400
I'm two to three steps
ahead of you, Joan.
199
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,467
That's why I had
these flyers made up.
200
00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:17,333
Hey, Gandhi,
funny seeing you here...
201
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:18,667
[chuckles nervously]
202
00:08:18,667 --> 00:08:20,933
During our common
lunch period.
203
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:22,800
Yeah, that is funny.
204
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,667
Yeah.
205
00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:28,067
[long nervous laughter]
206
00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:31,600
Hey, you,
half-pint,
207
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,533
Junior Mint, pip-squeak,
Tiny Tim, yardstick,
208
00:08:34,533 --> 00:08:37,700
snack pack, wee fella,
brown leprechaun.
209
00:08:39,167 --> 00:08:41,567
Are you talking to me?
210
00:08:41,567 --> 00:08:44,600
Now, listen, I'm gonna help you
get a prom date.
211
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:45,900
But at this point,
212
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,767
your ass is neither
round nor high enough
213
00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:50,133
to pull in the caliber
of Betty I do.
214
00:08:50,133 --> 00:08:52,733
You let the dogs out, J-slice.
215
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,800
Wazzup!
216
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,367
Let's start
with that crap.
217
00:08:56,367 --> 00:08:58,067
Your Gandhi speak
is all wet.
218
00:08:58,067 --> 00:08:59,100
What?
219
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:01,133
You can't touch this.
220
00:09:01,133 --> 00:09:03,233
Here, read this.
221
00:09:03,233 --> 00:09:04,567
[clears throat]
222
00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:06,633
For supper,
I want a party platter.
223
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,433
No! No! No!
224
00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:10,133
Like this.
225
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:18,133
Fowah suppah, I, er, uh,
want a pawty plattah!
226
00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:24,300
For sopar, I want
ahh perty plotter.
227
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:26,700
Quit looking so smug,
pretty pants.
228
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,733
Says who? You?
229
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,233
No, says me, you!
230
00:09:29,233 --> 00:09:31,133
Wh-what's goin' on?
231
00:09:31,133 --> 00:09:34,400
Forget it, kid.
No dry porking for you.
232
00:09:36,433 --> 00:09:39,133
[groaning]
233
00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:49,467
Fowah suppah,
I want a pawty plattehr!
234
00:09:49,467 --> 00:09:51,233
Wait a minute.
235
00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:53,333
Throw some "er"s and "uh"s
in there.
236
00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:55,500
What's your hurry?
Fowah...
237
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,500
Fowah...
238
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,767
- Suppah...
- Suppah...
239
00:09:57,767 --> 00:10:00,433
- I, er, uh...
- I, er, uh...
240
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,733
- Want...
- Want...
241
00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:02,967
- Ah...
- Ah...
242
00:10:02,967 --> 00:10:04,000
- Pawty...
- Pawty...
243
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,200
[together]
Plattah!
244
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,400
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
245
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,133
[together]
Er, uh, makeovah!
246
00:10:11,133 --> 00:10:12,767
(men)
* Makeover, makeover
247
00:10:12,767 --> 00:10:14,533
* Makeover, makeover
248
00:10:14,533 --> 00:10:16,000
* Makeover, makeover
249
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,000
* Makeover
250
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,000
[knocking]
251
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,367
* Makeover, makeover
252
00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:20,900
* Makeover, makeover
253
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,667
* Makeover, makeover
254
00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:23,900
* Makeover
255
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:25,233
* For you and me
256
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,867
Wait. One last thing.
257
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:33,867
You look like an angel.
258
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,367
Stamos!
259
00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:38,533
Damn him and his jet-black hair
and winning smile!
260
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:42,467
Oh, I'm a failure!
261
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,067
A failure!
262
00:10:44,067 --> 00:10:45,833
I'm so disorganized.
263
00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:48,900
I never call anyone back.
264
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:52,067
You should see my car.
It's a mess!
265
00:10:52,067 --> 00:10:53,767
I'm a mess!
266
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:55,867
I go to the submarine
sandwich restaurant,
267
00:10:55,867 --> 00:10:58,533
and I leave my submarine
sandwich restaurant value card
268
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,900
at home every time.
269
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:05,400
Oh, I want a free sandwich.
270
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:07,767
[echoing]
Stamos!
271
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,567
[sobbing]
272
00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:14,433
(Toots)
Now, I may be blind,
273
00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:15,767
but I still recognize
274
00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:18,500
the sound of my foster
granddaughter's laughter.
275
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,433
[laughs]
276
00:11:20,433 --> 00:11:22,233
You hear a good pope joke
today at school, honey?
277
00:11:22,233 --> 00:11:24,900
No, Toots.
278
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,700
I'd kind of like to be alone.
279
00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:30,200
Was it the one where two popes,
they walk into a bar, right,
280
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,833
and Pius XXI says...
281
00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:33,900
he says--
282
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,200
It's Abe.
283
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,700
I really like him,
and I wanted him to like me,
284
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:40,200
so I let him give me
a makeover,
285
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,300
and look at me.
286
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,600
Look at me!
287
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,600
I can't look at you, Joanie.
288
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,533
I'm a blind man!
289
00:11:47,533 --> 00:11:49,333
But I can do something better.
290
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:51,167
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
291
00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:52,167
- What?
- Hmm?
292
00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:53,167
Oh, please, God, no--
293
00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:54,333
Makeover!
294
00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:55,600
(men)
* Makeover, makeover
295
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,400
* Makeover, makeover
296
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,900
* Makeover, makeover
297
00:11:58,900 --> 00:11:59,900
* Makeover
298
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:00,967
[horn honking]
299
00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:02,333
* Makeover, makeover
300
00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:04,067
* Makeover, makeover
301
00:12:04,067 --> 00:12:04,933
* Makeo--
302
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:09,300
* For you and me
303
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:10,533
[Joan sobbing]
304
00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:12,067
Oh, you don't need
to thank me, Joanie.
305
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:14,700
Your joyful sobs of gratitude
are thanks enough.
306
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:17,267
Well, I'm late
for a tennis match.
307
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:18,667
[whistling]
308
00:12:18,667 --> 00:12:19,867
[Joan sobbing]
309
00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:21,800
Great. It's crying.
310
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,167
Just leave me alone.
311
00:12:23,167 --> 00:12:24,533
Just leave
my boyfriend alone.
312
00:12:24,533 --> 00:12:26,800
[sobbing]
313
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,867
Can you pass me my blush?
314
00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:29,900
Your what?
315
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,567
The blush.
316
00:12:31,567 --> 00:12:32,867
It's makeup.
317
00:12:32,867 --> 00:12:34,467
You know, like what your mom
throws at you
318
00:12:34,467 --> 00:12:35,767
when the vodka runs out?
319
00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:38,900
I never had a mom, okay?
320
00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:41,300
Joan, I didn't know.
321
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,733
[whispering]
I didn't know
322
00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:46,633
you didn't have a mom.
323
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,867
Oh!
324
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:50,067
For a second there,
I felt bad for you
325
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:52,067
even though everything's
going great for me.
326
00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:53,100
Is that crazy?
327
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,100
No, it's sympathy.
328
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:57,933
You know,
I may regret this,
329
00:12:57,933 --> 00:13:01,067
but I have some old lipstick
I need to get rid of.
330
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:02,767
You'd be doing me a favor
331
00:13:02,767 --> 00:13:04,767
if I could get rid of it
on your face.
332
00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:07,500
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
333
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,967
- Makeover!
- Suicide!
334
00:13:08,967 --> 00:13:10,467
(men)
* Makeover, makeover
335
00:13:10,467 --> 00:13:12,100
* Makeover, makeover
336
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:13,667
* Makeover, makeover
337
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:14,700
* Makeover
338
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:15,800
(both)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
339
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,300
(men)
* Makeover, makeover
340
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:18,700
* Makeover, makeover
341
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,333
* Makeover, makeover
342
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,333
* Makeover
343
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,333
[siren wails]
344
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:25,967
* For you and me
345
00:13:25,967 --> 00:13:29,133
Cleo, I haven't gotten around
to your prom-posal yet,
346
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:31,633
but I found something
that I'm pretty sure
347
00:13:31,633 --> 00:13:34,467
you'll be just
as excited about.
348
00:13:34,467 --> 00:13:37,067
It's Emmett
from under the overpass!
349
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,600
He's agreed to take Joan
to the prom
350
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,300
in exchange
for some rubbing alcohol.
351
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:43,267
The government's putting
fluoride in the tap water.
352
00:13:43,267 --> 00:13:45,467
Oh, I think
Joan's gonna get someone
353
00:13:45,467 --> 00:13:47,267
even better than Emmett, Abe.
354
00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:49,500
I just finished
giving her a makeover.
355
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,733
She's about to make
her dramatic entry
356
00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:53,667
coming down the stairs.
357
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,667
[dramatic orchestral music]
358
00:13:56,667 --> 00:14:06,167
*
359
00:14:06,167 --> 00:14:07,700
I present to you
360
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,833
the new and improved,
361
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,367
new Joan of Arc!
362
00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:13,067
[gasps]
363
00:14:13,067 --> 00:14:17,367
Oh, my God.
364
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,800
[dramatic orchestral music]
365
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,733
(Abe)
Joan?
366
00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:29,867
You look--
367
00:14:29,867 --> 00:14:32,200
Like a slutty
teenage beach whore.
368
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,200
Yeah, I know.
369
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,467
You guys, I don't need
370
00:14:34,467 --> 00:14:36,533
to pretend
to be someone else, you guys.
371
00:14:36,533 --> 00:14:38,933
No,
372
00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:41,533
you look like an angel.
373
00:14:41,533 --> 00:14:43,100
Do you like it?
374
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:46,433
Like it?
This changes everything.
375
00:14:46,433 --> 00:14:49,967
Joan, would you please come...
376
00:14:49,967 --> 00:14:52,933
pile a list of guys
you'd like to go to prom with?
377
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:55,267
I mean, now I could get you
a date with any guy in school,
378
00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:56,267
maybe even--
379
00:14:56,267 --> 00:14:58,667
Abe! I'm Cleopatra.
380
00:14:58,667 --> 00:15:01,633
So quit your stammering
and start your plannering,
381
00:15:01,633 --> 00:15:02,733
prom-posal-wise.
382
00:15:02,733 --> 00:15:04,800
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
383
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,567
But you got to admit,
Joan looks...
384
00:15:06,567 --> 00:15:07,733
I'm Cleopatra!
385
00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:12,567
Hot.
386
00:15:12,567 --> 00:15:14,333
(JFK)
Oh, ladies...
387
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:19,200
say hello to GFK.
388
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,833
(woman)
Who is the fox?
389
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:23,467
[women sighing]
390
00:15:23,467 --> 00:15:27,067
He's like a shorter,
browner Kennedy, mm.
391
00:15:27,067 --> 00:15:31,900
Don't, er, uh, damage
the merchandise, ladies.
392
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,067
And by merchandise,
393
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,100
I mean my junk!
394
00:15:37,233 --> 00:15:38,667
Hey, Gandhi.
395
00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:41,067
Um, I've been thinking
about prom,
396
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:45,200
and that dry thing
sounds pretty keen.
397
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,967
Well, this isn't easy, but--
398
00:15:46,967 --> 00:15:50,567
Oh, my God, GFK,
you are so taking me to prom.
399
00:15:50,567 --> 00:15:52,233
[slurping]
400
00:15:52,233 --> 00:15:53,233
(Gandhi)
Er, uh--
401
00:15:53,233 --> 00:15:54,467
(Catherine)
Oh, my God.
402
00:15:54,467 --> 00:15:57,067
Oh, my God, GFK.
Oh, GFK.
403
00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:58,067
[sniffles]
404
00:15:58,067 --> 00:16:00,700
They grow up so fast.
405
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:01,800
[glass shatters]
406
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,867
Stamos!
407
00:16:04,867 --> 00:16:07,633
Why not me?
408
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,867
I work so hard!
409
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:17,700
Nobody knows...in here!
410
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:20,333
I have so much love to give!
411
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:25,767
[coughing and choking]
412
00:16:26,933 --> 00:16:29,600
I have an idea,
413
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:34,067
an idea that can make you
as good as new.
414
00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:39,400
Are you programmed to be
thinking what I'm thinking?
415
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,133
[together]
Makeover!
416
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,767
(men)
* Makeover, makeover
417
00:16:42,767 --> 00:16:44,867
* Makeover, makeover
418
00:16:44,867 --> 00:16:47,533
Elephants,
where are your tap shoes?
419
00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:48,900
Flamingos,
420
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,300
it's flamingo, elephant,
flamingo, elephant,
421
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,600
not flamingo, flamingo,
elephant, flamingo.
422
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,733
God!
423
00:16:53,733 --> 00:16:55,533
Dolphins,
Start your propellers!
424
00:16:55,533 --> 00:16:56,667
Come on!
425
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:57,833
Amateurs.
426
00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,067
(Cleo)
Okay, Abe.
427
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:01,100
I'm ready for your prom-posal.
428
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:04,967
All right, Cleo.
Here goes.
429
00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:06,833
Cleopatra Smith,
430
00:17:06,833 --> 00:17:09,167
will you
go to the prom with me?
431
00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:10,500
Yes, Abe.
432
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:14,067
I, Joan, would love
to go to prom with you.
433
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,167
[groaning]
434
00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:19,767
(all)
Who you gonna ask, Abe?
435
00:17:19,767 --> 00:17:20,733
[dolphin chattering]
436
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:23,800
[yells]
437
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,067
[panting]
438
00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:26,900
It was all a dream?
439
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,333
But what does it mean?
440
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,400
[gasps]
441
00:17:33,967 --> 00:17:36,667
[both laughing]
442
00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:39,933
Oh, GFK, we've had
some good times.
443
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:41,600
Like the time
I bet I could get
444
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,100
that pathetic Gandhi
a prom date.
445
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,633
[both laugh]
446
00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:46,633
What?
447
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,700
Er, uh--er, uh--uh--
448
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,767
Tell me I was a bet!
449
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:52,067
Tell me!
450
00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:53,067
Look, champ,
451
00:17:53,067 --> 00:17:54,567
it started as a bet,
452
00:17:54,567 --> 00:17:56,800
but then I warmed to you,
you knucklehead.
453
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,433
Hey, you want
one of my prom dates?
454
00:17:58,433 --> 00:17:59,433
Have a Bronte.
455
00:17:59,433 --> 00:18:00,667
Forget it.
456
00:18:00,667 --> 00:18:04,333
I am, er, uh,
no longah GFK.
457
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,133
My name is Gandhi.
458
00:18:13,567 --> 00:18:16,500
Holy crap, Gandhi,
forget about prom.
459
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,067
Ciao.
460
00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:21,867
You know what JFK
stands for in my book?
461
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,900
Just feigning kindness.
462
00:18:25,867 --> 00:18:28,233
He's got you pegged, Kennedy.
463
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,767
He's got you pegged.
464
00:18:29,767 --> 00:18:31,100
Oh sure, now you talk.
465
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,567
But when I needed you,
you clammed up on me.
466
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:36,433
Well, if you're gonna lash out
at me like that,
467
00:18:36,433 --> 00:18:39,333
maybe you should just leave.
468
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:41,067
I'm not leaving till you are.
469
00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:49,067
What a wonderful outfit!
470
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:52,233
Why, this cravat alone
would look great with jeans.
471
00:18:52,233 --> 00:18:55,633
And it draws the eye away from
how incredibly low-waisted I am.
472
00:18:55,633 --> 00:18:57,633
Yeah.
473
00:18:57,633 --> 00:19:00,467
Oh, I feel like a king,
474
00:19:00,467 --> 00:19:04,767
the kind of king that would
reign over this year's prom.
475
00:19:04,767 --> 00:19:06,900
That gives me an idea,
476
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:10,200
a Stamos-neutralizing idea.
477
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,300
[laughing]
478
00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:16,967
Oh, nothing can destroy
this happy mood I'm in.
479
00:19:16,967 --> 00:19:18,467
Scudworth.
480
00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:20,233
I'm looking
at a certain videotape here
481
00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:22,900
called Cloney Island:
My Plan to Steal the Clones
482
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,267
Away From the Shadowy Board:
The Movie.
483
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:27,167
I've never heard of it.
484
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,800
Scudworth, we're going
to take the clones away
485
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,667
and terminate you...
486
00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:33,233
on prom night.
487
00:19:33,233 --> 00:19:35,833
Ah! Ah!
488
00:19:35,833 --> 00:19:37,733
Oh, oh!
489
00:19:37,733 --> 00:19:39,100
Ooh!
490
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,367
[dull thud]
491
00:19:43,233 --> 00:19:45,067
Marie. Marie.
492
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:48,433
Oh, I'm so glad I found you.
493
00:19:48,433 --> 00:19:51,267
I'm sorry I've been
such a jerk lately.
494
00:19:51,267 --> 00:19:55,867
And I wanted to know,
if it's not too late...
495
00:19:55,867 --> 00:19:58,600
will you go to the prom
with me?
496
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,033
- Yes...
- Oh, thank God.
497
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,533
Terday
I would have said yes.
498
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:04,300
But now I know
what an ass you are,
499
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:06,733
so today my answer is no.
500
00:20:06,733 --> 00:20:10,600
I already have a date--
Rock Hudson.
501
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,833
He really knows
how to treat a lady.
502
00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:15,967
Now I'll have to go...
503
00:20:15,967 --> 00:20:20,300
staaaaag!
504
00:20:22,100 --> 00:20:23,567
All right.
505
00:20:23,567 --> 00:20:27,167
I know this isn't a fancy
or elaborate proposal,
506
00:20:27,167 --> 00:20:29,767
but...
507
00:20:29,767 --> 00:20:32,867
you've always been
the one for me.
508
00:20:32,867 --> 00:20:36,867
You're my friend
and so much more.
509
00:20:36,867 --> 00:20:40,533
So I'm gonna ask you to the prom
by saying the words,
510
00:20:40,533 --> 00:20:43,033
"Will you go
to the prom with me?"
511
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,633
followed by your name.
512
00:20:45,633 --> 00:20:47,067
Ready?
513
00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:49,300
Okay.
514
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:54,433
Will you go to the prom
with me...
515
00:20:54,433 --> 00:20:55,367
Jo-Cle--
516
00:20:57,533 --> 00:21:00,533
[dramatic orchestral music]
517
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,633
(Abandoned Pools singing)
* Way back in the 1980s
518
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:09,600
* Secret government
employees *
519
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,400
* Dug up famous
guys and ladies *
520
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,433
* And made amusing
genetic copies *
521
00:21:15,433 --> 00:21:18,300
* Now the clones
are sexy teens now *
522
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:21,267
* They're gonna make
it if they try *
523
00:21:21,267 --> 00:21:24,100
* Loving, learning,
sharing, judging *
524
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:30,467
* Time to laugh and
shiver and cry *
525
00:21:30,467 --> 00:21:33,633
* Clone High
32562
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