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(male announcer)
Previously, on a very special
Clone High...
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00:00:05,867 --> 00:00:08,100
Some voted with their heads,
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00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:10,000
some voted with their hearts,
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00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,067
Cleopatra voted
with her student body,
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00:00:13,067 --> 00:00:18,200
and you, the audience,
voted to be absolutely riveted.
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00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,333
(Abandoned Pools singing)
* Way, way back in the 1980s
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00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:24,233
* Secret government employees
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00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:27,033
* Dug up famous
guys and ladies *
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00:00:27,033 --> 00:00:29,967
* And made amusing
genetic copies *
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00:00:29,967 --> 00:00:32,933
* Now the clones
are sexy teens now *
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00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,800
* They're going to make it
if they try *
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00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,733
* Loving, learning,
sharing, judging *
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00:00:38,733 --> 00:00:44,967
* Time to laugh
and shiver and cry *
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00:00:44,967 --> 00:00:47,700
* Clone High
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00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:53,267
* Clone High
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00:00:53,267 --> 00:00:56,900
*
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00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:58,267
Check it out.
18
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,600
I'm the guy with
two French fries up his nose!
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00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:01,800
Get it?
20
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,633
[laughing]
That's hilarious, Gandhi.
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00:01:04,633 --> 00:01:06,600
Ah, your impressions
are awesome.
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00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,933
Uh, spaz?
23
00:01:07,933 --> 00:01:10,433
Putting fries up your nose
is not an impression.
24
00:01:10,433 --> 00:01:13,233
You actually are
a guy with fries up his nose.
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00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:16,433
Oh, you like
impressions, huh?
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00:01:16,433 --> 00:01:19,067
Hi, I'm Joan of Arc,
and I wear a retainer.
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00:01:19,067 --> 00:01:21,400
[laughing]
28
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:25,167
Hi, I'm Abe Lincoln,
and I've never laughed
29
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:27,567
so hard in my life.
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00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:30,667
Up high, honest Abe!
Whoo!
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00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:32,967
This bent wire better not
cause an overbite,
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00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:34,767
or in three to five years,
I'm gonna--
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00:01:34,767 --> 00:01:37,067
[muffled speaking]
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00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:38,100
Perfect.
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00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:39,200
Oh, sorry.
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00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,333
I didn't see
you there.
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00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,500
I did, but I didn't
say anything.
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00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:44,700
Wow, Cleo, you're doing
a bang-up job promoting
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00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,300
the awareness fair.
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00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:49,533
This year, the theme
for the awareness fair is...
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00:01:49,533 --> 00:01:50,767
awareness.
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00:01:50,767 --> 00:01:52,567
- Wow!
- That is a good theme.
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00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:53,900
- I like it also.
[dog barks]
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00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:56,200
And for a fundraiser,
I'm hosting
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00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,200
an open-mouth kissing booth.
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00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,933
Oh, for herpes awareness?
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00:02:00,933 --> 00:02:03,500
Gandhi will take
a little sugar right now.
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00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,367
Show some respect.
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00:02:05,367 --> 00:02:08,100
JFK'll take
a little sugar right now.
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00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,967
[slurping sounds]
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00:02:10,967 --> 00:02:12,433
That was so hot.
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00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,367
The girls definitely
won't walk away
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00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:16,067
from our kissing booth
disappointed.
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00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:18,467
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
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00:02:18,467 --> 00:02:19,600
Whoa!
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00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,133
Whoa.
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00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:22,267
whoa!
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00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:25,067
Our open-mouth kissing booth?
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00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:28,533
More like your
open-mouth kissing booth.
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00:02:28,533 --> 00:02:32,067
You know
my policy regarding fatties.
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00:02:32,067 --> 00:02:33,200
Well, you don't see
me complaining
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00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,200
about having to kiss
poor people.
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00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,933
I'm sure you can make
an exception for one day.
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00:02:36,933 --> 00:02:39,067
Well, I'm tired
of making exceptions, hussy!
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00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:42,267
And I'm tired of playing
second fiddle to that pooch.
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00:02:42,267 --> 00:02:45,633
There's nothing going on
between me and President Dog.
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00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,500
What happened to us, Cleo?
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00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,800
I'll bet you let him poop
in your backyard too.
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00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:54,267
*
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00:02:54,267 --> 00:02:56,900
Ring-a-ding-ding,
Mr. Butlertron, babe.
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00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,067
[mumbling]
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00:02:58,067 --> 00:02:59,200
Hell of a show last night,
Mr. B.
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00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:00,633
What Frank said.
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00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:02,767
Mr. B, I'm the principal,
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00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:03,967
and you're a mere
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00:03:03,967 --> 00:03:06,300
butler/vice principal/
dehumidifier,
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00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:08,133
yet every student says
hello to you
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00:03:08,133 --> 00:03:09,500
and ignores me.
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00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:11,967
How can I get close
to the students?
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00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:15,367
I try to listen with compassion
instead of killing them.
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00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:16,800
Of course!
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00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,067
It's that soothing
cardigan sweater of yours.
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00:03:24,267 --> 00:03:26,100
Cleo, what are you doing here?
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00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:28,900
I come here whenever
I break up with JFK.
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00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:30,667
Seems like I've
been here a lot lately.
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00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:32,900
Then these are lucky roses.
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00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:36,133
- How do you mean?
- Uh...
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00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,633
'Cause you visit them?
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00:03:37,633 --> 00:03:39,267
Actually, Abe,
flowers are
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00:03:39,267 --> 00:03:41,100
just the reproductive
organs of plants.
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00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:43,233
They can't tell
when someone visits them.
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00:03:43,233 --> 00:03:45,367
But--hmm.
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00:03:45,367 --> 00:03:47,267
I'm just feeling sad.
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00:03:47,267 --> 00:03:48,600
I don't know
how I'll manage
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00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,067
the open-mouth kissing booth.
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00:03:50,067 --> 00:03:51,067
Well, I could help.
97
00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:52,633
I love open-mouth kissing.
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00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,567
It's so much more open
than closed-mouth kissing.
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00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:02,700
(male voice)
Don't feel alone.
God is always with you.
100
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,900
Did you just say something?
101
00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:04,900
Uh-uh.
102
00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,433
The voices...
103
00:04:06,433 --> 00:04:07,567
Finally!
104
00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:09,067
The voices!
105
00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:11,067
Come on now.
106
00:04:11,067 --> 00:04:12,300
Talk to me.
107
00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:14,467
I am not going
to open up to you.
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00:04:14,467 --> 00:04:16,400
Lynn, quick, your cardigan.
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00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,433
But it's cold and flu season.
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00:04:18,433 --> 00:04:20,167
Give it!
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00:04:20,167 --> 00:04:22,933
[sighs]
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00:04:22,933 --> 00:04:28,233
Behold, the soothing power
of this enchanted sweater vest.
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00:04:28,233 --> 00:04:30,900
Behold it!
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00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:33,067
Do you have a BB gun?
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00:04:33,067 --> 00:04:34,067
I have several.
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00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:36,700
Wanna go shoot birds some time?
117
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:38,400
I would love to!
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00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:42,333
B, D, B, C, C, A, D.
Boop! I'm done!
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00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:44,100
Do you mind?
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00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,633
We are taking a test.
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00:04:46,633 --> 00:04:50,267
Gandhi, just try and sit still
until everyone is finished.
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00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:52,567
Not a problem, Mr. Sheepman.
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00:04:52,567 --> 00:04:55,467
[humming]
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00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:59,067
[fingers tapping]
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00:04:59,067 --> 00:05:00,100
[pen clicking]
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00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,467
[all noises combined]
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00:05:02,467 --> 00:05:04,333
Rhythm is everywhere!
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00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:07,167
[laughing]
It's true. It's everywhere!
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00:05:07,167 --> 00:05:08,533
Darn it, Gandhi!
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00:05:08,533 --> 00:05:12,233
I've had it
with your constant fidgeting.
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00:05:12,233 --> 00:05:17,133
[blows raspberry]
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00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:20,567
Who did that?
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00:05:20,567 --> 00:05:23,333
[whistling]
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00:05:23,333 --> 00:05:26,167
Your innocent whistling
doesn't fool me.
135
00:05:26,167 --> 00:05:30,633
I'm 70% sure that farting noise
came from you.
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00:05:30,633 --> 00:05:31,633
Hall monitor!
137
00:05:31,633 --> 00:05:33,233
[door slams]
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00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:36,267
I was so on today.
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00:05:36,267 --> 00:05:39,267
[locker slamming]
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00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,933
[drawer slamming]
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00:05:41,933 --> 00:05:42,933
What's in here?
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00:05:42,933 --> 00:05:44,967
Quit fidgeting, boy.
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00:05:44,967 --> 00:05:48,800
Can't you see
I'm wearing a cardigan?
144
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,833
What's his deal, man?
145
00:05:50,833 --> 00:05:54,533
Impulsiveness, hyperactivity,
short attention span.
146
00:05:54,533 --> 00:05:57,400
I'll run the symptoms
through my computer.
147
00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,400
[beeping]
148
00:06:01,533 --> 00:06:04,467
[beeping continues]
149
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:08,267
[beeping continues]
150
00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:09,833
Oh, Wesley.
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00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:13,067
You have A.D.D.
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00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:15,867
A.D.D.?
153
00:06:15,867 --> 00:06:19,167
Am I...dying?
154
00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:23,367
No, it's A.D.D.,
attention deficit disorder.
155
00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:26,800
You also have A.D.H.D.,
its hyperactive cousin.
156
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,367
Oh, wow.
157
00:06:29,367 --> 00:06:31,633
I need a minute
to think about this.
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00:06:31,633 --> 00:06:34,300
*
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00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:36,967
Hey, check out this
extra flappy skin on my elbow.
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00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:37,933
What is that?
161
00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:45,667
[fingers snapping]
162
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,400
* Did you hear?
Did you hear? *
163
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,467
* Gandhi has A.D.D.
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00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:49,633
* Incurable disease
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00:06:49,633 --> 00:06:51,267
* Did you hear?
Did you hear? *
166
00:06:51,267 --> 00:06:52,700
* Don't tell Paul Revere *
167
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:55,067
* Gandhi's contagious,
totally outrageous *
168
00:06:55,067 --> 00:06:57,800
* A disease with initials,
that's the worst kind *
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00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,300
* A.D.D. has warped his mind
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00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,967
* Did you hear?
Did you hear? *
171
00:07:01,967 --> 00:07:04,500
* Don't tell Paul Revere,
don't tell Paul Revere *
172
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:08,400
* Don't tell Paul Revere *
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00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,867
* Too late!
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00:07:11,867 --> 00:07:13,067
* Bada-rum bada-rum
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00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:14,467
* Bada-rum bada-rum
bada-rum *
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00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:17,367
* Gandhi has A.D.D.,
Gandhi has A.D.D. *
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00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:18,867
* You get it from toilet seats
178
00:07:18,867 --> 00:07:19,867
* Use a protective sheet
179
00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:25,433
* Attention deficit disorder
180
00:07:25,433 --> 00:07:26,633
* A.D.D.
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00:07:26,633 --> 00:07:29,233
[panting]
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00:07:29,233 --> 00:07:32,067
It can't be true,
but then again,
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00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:34,500
it rhymed,
so it must be.
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00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:37,633
*
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00:07:37,633 --> 00:07:39,567
Jesús Cristo,
do you know the story
186
00:07:39,567 --> 00:07:40,933
of Joan of Arc?
187
00:07:40,933 --> 00:07:41,933
Yeah, I seen the movie.
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00:07:41,933 --> 00:07:43,133
I got it on DVD, homes.
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00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:44,467
She was, like, 16, right?
190
00:07:44,467 --> 00:07:45,867
And then God told her
to make the Frenchies
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00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:47,300
fight the Ingléses,
you know, the people
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00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,933
that drink tea all the time
and have big teeth?
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00:07:48,933 --> 00:07:50,433
And then people started
getting mad,
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00:07:50,433 --> 00:07:52,100
'cause she was hearing voices
and then at the end,
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00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:53,400
she got cooked like a steak.
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00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,067
Pretty good.
I give it thumbs up, homes.
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00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,400
Basically.
198
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,933
See, I've never been able
to live up to her.
199
00:07:57,933 --> 00:08:00,267
That's why, instead,
I became a cynical,
200
00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:01,867
angst-ridden goth girl.
201
00:08:01,867 --> 00:08:04,800
But now,
I'm hearing voices.
202
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,733
Religious voices.
203
00:08:06,733 --> 00:08:08,567
Damn.
204
00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:10,367
Hey, they tell you who's gonna
win the Latin Grammys?
205
00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:11,500
If it's Ricky Martin,
don't tell me,
206
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:12,500
eh, don't tell me.
207
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:13,500
It's Ricky Martin, huh?
208
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:15,233
This is totally freaking me out.
209
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:17,167
Hey, take a hit.
Relax.
210
00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:18,667
God's message can be
a total trip.
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00:08:18,667 --> 00:08:20,600
But you know that you have
to do what he tells you, eh?
212
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,667
Because god has a plan
for all of us--
213
00:08:22,667 --> 00:08:25,933
a painful, painful plan.
214
00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:28,133
Wait, wait,
the voices are telling me
215
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:33,133
to head on down to St. Paul's
Mattress Discounters.
216
00:08:33,133 --> 00:08:34,367
I have to go.
217
00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:37,300
Jesús, God's power is
in the mix!
218
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:39,067
[nail gun fires]
- Ooh!
219
00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:42,333
Be careful with
that nail gun, Jesús.
220
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,067
I'm worried about Gandhi.
221
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:45,267
Me too.
222
00:08:45,267 --> 00:08:46,200
You don't think
he'll freak out
223
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,400
and bite me, do you?
224
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,233
He hasn't done anything
to hurt anyone.
225
00:08:49,233 --> 00:08:52,400
Hey, which open-mouth kissing
technique do you like better?
226
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,067
This one...
227
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,700
[slurping noises]
228
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,133
or this one?
229
00:08:58,133 --> 00:09:01,500
[slurping noises]
230
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:04,067
Hey, principal, look!
231
00:09:04,067 --> 00:09:08,067
I fit the entire freshman class
into just ten lockers.
232
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:10,200
[laughing]
233
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,267
- Oh, man.
- Oh, my.
234
00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:16,600
Oh, JFK, you're
such a wonderful boy.
235
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:19,300
So full
of fun and life.
236
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:21,333
I'm gonna go chuck
a dead gopher
237
00:09:21,333 --> 00:09:23,267
into the girls' bathroom.
238
00:09:23,267 --> 00:09:24,433
Classic!
239
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:27,267
Jesus saves,
and so will we--
240
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,300
on California kings
all weekend long!
241
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:31,200
If you can find a lower price,
God will give you
242
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,933
a bed frame for free!
243
00:09:32,933 --> 00:09:36,067
Oh, feel it!
Firm, but not too firm,
244
00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:37,967
just like the lord!
245
00:09:37,967 --> 00:09:40,367
No, Gene Kelly.
246
00:09:40,367 --> 00:09:43,067
It's shuffle, cha-cha,
spin left, shimmy,
247
00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:45,833
booty quake, thrust,
booty quake, thrust.
248
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:48,800
Wow, Marie Curie's
mutated DNA may have
249
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,967
left her grotesquely deformed,
but she's a really good dancer.
250
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,800
Sorry I'm late,
but somebody forgot
251
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:57,433
to tell el Gandhisimo
we had practice.
252
00:09:57,433 --> 00:09:59,167
Hey, before we kick it,
can I get someone
253
00:09:59,167 --> 00:10:00,767
to stretch my hammies?
254
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:04,000
Gandhi, this is
really hard to say.
255
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,133
I think maybe because of your
condition, you shouldn't be--
256
00:10:07,133 --> 00:10:09,033
You're kicking me
off the dance squad?
257
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:11,500
The Solid Gandhi Dancers?
258
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:13,167
But I'm the treasurer.
259
00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:15,233
What if you have
an A.D.D. attack,
260
00:10:15,233 --> 00:10:17,433
and you can't pay attention
to the moves?
261
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:18,567
That's not gonna happen.
262
00:10:18,567 --> 00:10:19,700
Check this out.
263
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:22,633
[scatting]
264
00:10:28,067 --> 00:10:30,067
Gandhi, stop,
you're out of control.
265
00:10:30,067 --> 00:10:31,533
Are you watching?
Are you watching?
266
00:10:31,533 --> 00:10:33,267
'Cause watch this,
here it comes, finish.
267
00:10:33,267 --> 00:10:34,367
Pow!
268
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,500
[column slams]
269
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:40,633
(woman)
I don't want that diseased freak
going near my Attila.
270
00:10:40,633 --> 00:10:43,167
I don't really think
it's safe for Gandhi
271
00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:45,067
to wander around
without a space suit.
272
00:10:45,067 --> 00:10:47,633
Folks, you all know me.
273
00:10:47,633 --> 00:10:50,733
I'm Toots,
Joan of Arc's foster grandpa.
274
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,467
Now, I may be blind,
but I can see
275
00:10:53,467 --> 00:10:55,267
certain things loud and clear.
276
00:10:55,267 --> 00:10:57,667
This is a room
full of scared people
277
00:10:57,667 --> 00:11:01,133
making decisions based
on fear and ignorance.
278
00:11:01,133 --> 00:11:03,467
Now when I left
the house this evening,
279
00:11:03,467 --> 00:11:07,067
I intended to go to
Giovanni's Italian Restaurant.
280
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,267
I can tell
I'm in the wrong place.
281
00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:11,333
So if you'll excuse me,
I'll leave,
282
00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:13,733
and let you get on
with your meeting.
283
00:11:13,733 --> 00:11:14,733
[crowd shouting]
284
00:11:14,733 --> 00:11:15,967
Settle!
285
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:19,567
The bevested principal has
the answer.
286
00:11:19,567 --> 00:11:21,400
Therapeutic isolation!
287
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,600
- That will solve everything.
- I feel so pacified.
288
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,133
(man)
Is that cashmere?
289
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,300
The man in the dapper
cardigan is right.
290
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:30,767
Let's lock him up
like a diabetic.
291
00:11:30,767 --> 00:11:32,633
I move we form
an angry mob,
292
00:11:32,633 --> 00:11:35,433
just a whole bunch
of mens just running.
293
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:38,567
(Abe)
I've never sat here
in the popular section before.
294
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,833
Wow!
Salt and pepper?
295
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:43,833
With me, Abe, it's
first class all the way.
296
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,633
Abe, you've gotta help me.
297
00:11:45,633 --> 00:11:47,200
You're all I have, man.
298
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,233
Is that pepper?
299
00:11:48,233 --> 00:11:50,467
Abe, do you have
a celibacy wish?
300
00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:52,633
No, no,
a thousand times no.
301
00:11:52,633 --> 00:11:54,800
Because when I see
you talking to Gandhi,
302
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,067
I feel like totally
not kissing you.
303
00:11:57,067 --> 00:11:58,933
You want to kiss
something, Cleo?
304
00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:03,067
You can start
with my solid gold ass.
305
00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:04,967
Up high, Lincoln Continental!
306
00:12:07,233 --> 00:12:09,767
Dude, don't leave me hanging.
307
00:12:09,767 --> 00:12:14,067
Come on, Abe, it's me...
Gandhi.
308
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,667
Don't you know me?
309
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:20,400
Sorry Gandhi,
I'm kind of tired.
310
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,867
[scoffs]
Fine.
311
00:12:23,867 --> 00:12:25,267
I never thought
the world would see
312
00:12:25,267 --> 00:12:28,500
Abraham Lincoln dissing
Mahatma Gandhi.
313
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:29,600
Gandhi, no!
314
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,300
Not our matching
friendship locket.
315
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:34,600
"Best dudes forever," Abe?
316
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,567
"Best dudes forever?"
317
00:12:41,967 --> 00:12:43,967
*
318
00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:46,800
[distant commotion]
319
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,600
[mob shouting]
320
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:59,067
*
321
00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:00,600
I brought you some fries.
322
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,300
I was thinking you could,
I don't know,
323
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:06,467
stick some in your nose
like old times.
324
00:13:06,467 --> 00:13:08,067
Keep your damn fries.
325
00:13:08,067 --> 00:13:10,733
Look, Gandhi, when I chose
not to high five you yesterday
326
00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:13,367
it wasn't because
I don't care about you.
327
00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:15,867
It was because I didn't
want to touch you.
328
00:13:15,867 --> 00:13:17,567
I'm sorry, is somebody talking?
329
00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:19,400
'Cause I don't see anyone.
330
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:20,767
Gandhi--
[phone rings]
331
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,600
Hi, Cleo.
332
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,333
Yeah, I got your fax.
333
00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:26,700
I already called ahead
to the lip balm store, yeah.
334
00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:28,267
I'm goin' right now.
335
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:31,433
I'm going right now.
336
00:13:31,433 --> 00:13:34,333
[rock music]
337
00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:36,633
* Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
338
00:13:36,633 --> 00:13:39,767
*
339
00:13:39,767 --> 00:13:43,967
* Once we were warriors
340
00:13:43,967 --> 00:13:47,200
* Running with the streets
341
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:51,400
* Got to remember the fire
342
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:55,767
* Don't give in to the heat *
343
00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:59,067
* Remember the memories
344
00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:03,333
* Life is only a game
345
00:14:03,333 --> 00:14:05,300
* You're only a man now *
346
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:07,200
* Remember your heart
347
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,333
* Remember the flame
348
00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:11,200
* Living and dying
349
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,967
* Dreaming and crying
350
00:14:12,967 --> 00:14:15,067
* Seizing the day
351
00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:18,600
* Carping the diem
352
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,133
* Remember the memories
353
00:14:21,133 --> 00:14:24,367
* Two stars worlds apart
354
00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:28,900
* Remember the memories
355
00:14:30,767 --> 00:14:31,767
(man)
Hi there, friend.
356
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,933
- Wow, Tom Green.
- Who?
357
00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:35,067
You work here?
358
00:14:35,067 --> 00:14:36,433
Oh, I always make
time to teach kids
359
00:14:36,433 --> 00:14:37,967
the facts
about A.D.D.
360
00:14:37,967 --> 00:14:40,600
and/or A.D.H.D.,
its hyperactive cousin.
361
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,633
- Huh?
- Hey, you're reading my book.
362
00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:44,233
Touch the book.
363
00:14:44,233 --> 00:14:47,967
Lick the book. Lick the book.
Lick the book. Lick the book.
364
00:14:47,967 --> 00:14:49,567
Lick the book. Lick the book.
365
00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:51,700
Lick the book. Lick the book.
Lick the book. Lick the book.
366
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:55,933
Book, book, book, book,
book, book, book, book.
367
00:14:55,933 --> 00:14:57,367
Yeah, I haven't read it either.
368
00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:59,067
People with A.D.D.,
they aren't good readers.
369
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:00,500
Want to go shave a dog?
370
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,500
My friend has A.D.D.
371
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:05,633
And everyone at school treats
him like some kind of leper.
372
00:15:05,633 --> 00:15:07,133
Well, that's discrimination.
373
00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:10,233
Hey, do you want to go
take a dump on my parents' bed?
374
00:15:10,233 --> 00:15:13,733
[squawking]
I'm an albatross.
375
00:15:13,733 --> 00:15:15,133
I'm an albatross.
376
00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:19,667
* I'm flap-flap-flapping
my albatross wings *
377
00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:24,367
* Flap-flap-flapping
my albatross wings *
378
00:15:24,367 --> 00:15:25,733
[glass shatters]
379
00:15:25,733 --> 00:15:27,567
Ahh!
380
00:15:28,633 --> 00:15:29,900
Ahh!
381
00:15:30,967 --> 00:15:33,200
Go ahead, I'm here for you.
382
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:39,200
I, uh--recently broke up
with my girlfriend, Cleo.
383
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:43,533
Remember, too much emotion makes
Dr. Scudworth uncomfortable.
384
00:15:43,533 --> 00:15:46,933
But she was the first girl
that gave me--
385
00:15:46,933 --> 00:15:49,333
what's that word?
386
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:50,633
Feelings!
387
00:15:50,633 --> 00:15:51,633
[sobs]
388
00:15:51,633 --> 00:15:52,900
[squeals]
389
00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:54,967
Is that water leaking
out of your face?
390
00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:55,900
[squeaks]
391
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,233
Ahh!
392
00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:00,300
Er, uh--
393
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:02,667
Ahh!
394
00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:05,233
What is this
touchy-feely bull crap?
395
00:16:05,233 --> 00:16:06,500
Yech!
396
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:10,100
I don't want to borrow
this sweater no more.
397
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:17,300
*
398
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:18,833
God won't stop talking to me.
399
00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:20,133
His power is in the mix!
400
00:16:20,133 --> 00:16:21,500
I haven't slept in 78 hours.
401
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:22,533
[chuckles]
402
00:16:22,533 --> 00:16:24,967
Oh, my goodness, I'm tired.
403
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:28,967
Jeez, that guy is,
like, 45.
404
00:16:28,967 --> 00:16:30,633
(Principal Scudworth)
Whee!
405
00:16:30,633 --> 00:16:33,533
It's experimental surgery time.
406
00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:35,267
Go on, man, do it.
407
00:16:35,267 --> 00:16:36,400
I want you to.
408
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,667
Stick it in my head.
I hope it kills me.
409
00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:41,067
If you're not terrified,
where's the sport?
410
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,333
I don't want to live
in a world
411
00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:44,733
where buds diss their homeboys.
412
00:16:44,733 --> 00:16:46,200
You're a high school principal.
413
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,867
You don't know
what it's like to be lonely.
414
00:16:47,867 --> 00:16:50,867
On the contrary, Gandhi,
some principals
415
00:16:50,867 --> 00:16:52,767
do feel loneliness.
416
00:16:52,767 --> 00:16:56,067
We're not the invincible gods
that teen magazines would
417
00:16:56,067 --> 00:16:58,667
have you believe.
418
00:16:58,667 --> 00:17:02,100
Then I guess there's no hope
for guys like us.
419
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,933
There's always hope, Gandhi.
420
00:17:03,933 --> 00:17:07,067
When life gives you lemons,
you clone those lemons
421
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,800
and make super lemons.
422
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,667
So go down
to that awareness fair,
423
00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:14,867
stand up for what's right,
and bring me back a funnel cake.
424
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,667
But there's no way
out of this place.
425
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:19,267
Isn't there?
426
00:17:20,433 --> 00:17:24,767
Oh, I think I know
what you're saying.
427
00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:26,867
- [grunts]
[glass shatters]
428
00:17:26,867 --> 00:17:28,167
And turn.
429
00:17:28,167 --> 00:17:30,600
(Butlertron)
You really helped that boy.
430
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:34,633
I did,
and without the sweater vest.
431
00:17:34,633 --> 00:17:37,700
I guess it wasn't
magic after all.
432
00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:39,933
Or was it?
433
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:43,067
[crowd gasps]
434
00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:44,567
Is there a Heather in the crowd?
Heather?
435
00:17:44,567 --> 00:17:46,733
Heather, I have
a message for you:
436
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,067
Jerome wants
you to forgive him
437
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,467
for hooking up
with Lupe at Trey's party,
438
00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:52,600
and God is commanding all of us
to give a shout out
439
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,300
to all the locals
at the In-N-Out in La Puente
440
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:57,233
His power is in the mix!
441
00:18:00,733 --> 00:18:02,133
(radio announcer)
We're 107 FM,
442
00:18:02,133 --> 00:18:06,433
where the mix of fresh
Christian jams slam first.
443
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:09,067
His power is in the mix.
444
00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:11,200
Coming up, we've got
a rock crusade--
445
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,967
40 minutes of nonstop Amy Grant!
446
00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:18,067
I can't--you know,
I gotta take--okay...
447
00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:20,133
[scoffs]
I can't believe it, eh?
448
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:23,133
Jerome hooked up with Lupe?
449
00:18:23,133 --> 00:18:24,233
[crowd screams]
450
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:25,800
What the hell are
you doing here?
451
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,500
You're selling kisses?
I'm buying.
452
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:31,600
Abe, will you form a mob
and get rid of this loser?
453
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:35,967
No, but I will inform a mob
with the help of this winner.
454
00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:37,767
- Tom?
- Hi, everybody.
455
00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:39,333
I'm Ottawa's Tom Green.
456
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:40,367
I live in Hollywood.
457
00:18:40,367 --> 00:18:41,967
[applause]
- Thank you.
458
00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:45,100
So some of you may have
been mean to a kid with A.D.D.
459
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,533
That's not cool.
460
00:18:46,533 --> 00:18:47,533
Coffee?
461
00:18:47,533 --> 00:18:49,333
Anyone--coffee, anyone?
462
00:18:49,333 --> 00:18:50,667
Huh?
Sorry.
463
00:18:50,667 --> 00:18:52,533
I like cotton candy.
Check out my muscle.
464
00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:54,067
Potato chips.
It's a Ferris wheel.
465
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:56,067
So I guess what I'm trying
to say is--
466
00:18:56,067 --> 00:18:58,767
Plastic bag. Plastic bag.
Plastic bag. Plastic bag.
467
00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:00,633
Plastic bag.
Plastic bag.
468
00:19:00,633 --> 00:19:03,900
Like Mr. Green
so eloquently said,
469
00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:06,967
A.D.D. is not infectious.
470
00:19:06,967 --> 00:19:09,800
What is infectious is ignorance.
471
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,433
If everyone keeps
treating Gandhi
472
00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:12,900
like a contagious freak,
473
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:15,900
then this isn't
an awareness fair.
474
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,933
It's an awareness unfair.
475
00:19:18,933 --> 00:19:20,533
(man)
Do you think
I was born yesterday?
476
00:19:20,533 --> 00:19:21,633
[crowd murmuring]
477
00:19:21,633 --> 00:19:22,867
(Tom Green)
Who likes cheese?
478
00:19:23,933 --> 00:19:24,967
Abe?
479
00:19:24,967 --> 00:19:27,367
You know what you have to do.
480
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:28,700
You're right.
481
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:32,300
(man)
* Am I on time?
482
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:35,700
* Have I got soul?
483
00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:40,800
* Arrest myself
for being cold *
484
00:19:42,167 --> 00:19:43,167
[grunts]
485
00:19:43,167 --> 00:19:44,800
Dude, that was not cool.
486
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,133
Not cool!
487
00:19:46,133 --> 00:19:50,067
And because of that,
I'm only paying you $4.
488
00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:52,333
My discomfort
with a man kissing another man
489
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:54,667
is stronger than my hatred
for people with A.D.D.
490
00:19:54,667 --> 00:19:57,867
Hey, let's all accept Gandhi
and shun Abe instead.
491
00:19:57,867 --> 00:19:59,467
[cheering]
492
00:19:59,467 --> 00:20:01,967
Wow, Abe, your brave
homoerotic gesture
493
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:04,333
has changed
my view about A.D.D.
494
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:05,633
Just don't touch me.
495
00:20:05,633 --> 00:20:08,667
Gandhi, get on up here
and dance.
496
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:10,333
But I didn't bring
my dance skins.
497
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:11,500
Gandhi!
498
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,667
Okay, you got me.
499
00:20:15,433 --> 00:20:16,767
Maybe I can help.
500
00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:19,633
I think God left
one last song in me.
501
00:20:19,633 --> 00:20:21,300
(man)
Ya'll ready for God?
502
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:24,300
[dance music playing]
503
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:32,233
*
504
00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:42,233
(announcer)
Next time, on a very special
Clone High.
505
00:20:42,233 --> 00:20:44,567
Will Abe and Joan's
student films reveal
506
00:20:44,567 --> 00:20:46,600
their true feelings
for one another?
507
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,733
How will Scudworth get himself
out of another dangerous pickle?
508
00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:53,233
And what will become of Gandhi?
509
00:20:53,233 --> 00:20:55,867
I'd tell you, but I haven't
seen the episode yet.
510
00:20:55,867 --> 00:20:57,367
They were supposed
to send it to me,
511
00:20:57,367 --> 00:20:59,800
but there's this guy at work
who totally hates me.
512
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:04,267
If he gets me fired,
I'm gonna kill his dog.
513
00:21:04,267 --> 00:21:07,167
(Abandoned Pools singing)
* Way, way back in the 1980s
514
00:21:07,167 --> 00:21:10,100
* Secret government employees
515
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:13,067
* Dug up famous
guys and ladies *
516
00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:16,067
* And made amusing
genetic copies *
517
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:18,833
* Now the clones
are sexy teens now *
518
00:21:18,833 --> 00:21:21,667
* They're going to make it
if they try *
519
00:21:21,667 --> 00:21:24,667
* Loving, learning,
sharing, judging *
520
00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:30,900
* Time to laugh
and shiver and cry *
521
00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:33,700
* Clone High
33625
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