Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
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Hey fella.
2
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Not just anybody takes an interest in kotatsus of that quality.
3
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You must be a real connoisseur.
4
00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:46,020
It's no use trying to hide it.
5
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You've been fixated on that piece for nearly an hour now.
6
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,410
Whaddya say fella?
7
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If you're interested I could sell it to you for a special low price.
8
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Yes indeed.
9
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It just so happens that a certain upper-class family left that kotatsu with me.
10
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It's a hundred yen.
11
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Sound good?
12
00:01:33,530 --> 00:01:34,860
Why the knife...?
13
00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:39,280
Oh to "cut" a deal!
14
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This is an extremely dangerous pun that you should never try at home kids.
15
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Hmmm...
16
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Well whatcha gonna do? I think I've got this one in the bag!
17
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It's 0 wins and 120 losses huh?
18
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No 120 wins and 0 losses!
19
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I know that ya got 120 wins Lum.
20
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I'm just lookin' at this from the dummy's side.
21
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I mean 120 straight losses?
22
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That's a crazy record.
23
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No it's 120 wins!
24
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Look I know yer the one with 120 wins Lum.
25
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I'm puttin' myself in the shoes of this dummy.
26
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You guys are just making fun of me!
27
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Stupid jerks!
28
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Don't you dare darling!
29
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The game isn't over yet!
30
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And presto!
31
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Now it's 121 losses.
32
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Holy freakin' crap!
33
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The kotatsu is moving all by itself!
34
00:04:38,370 --> 00:04:40,340
I won that one!
35
00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:43,840
This is nuts! Just look at it! That kotatsu is possessed!
36
00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,720
Whatever darling! Don't try and change the subject!
37
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,760
There's no time to argue!
38
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:50,760
Look!
39
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This is what we're dealing with!
40
00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:55,610
You ruined my victory darn it!
41
00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:00,910
What's the deal with this kotatsu?
42
00:05:00,910 --> 00:05:04,110
It almost looks afraid to get covered with a blanket.
43
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Totally bizarre!
44
00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:18,810
Such a racket. What are they doing up there?
45
00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:21,150
Ataru! Keep it down!
46
00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:24,090
All this dust you're kicking up will ruin the tempura!
47
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:26,550
Have no fear madam.
48
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I've taken it upon myself to keep all of the tempura safe.
49
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:35,140
For you see I sensed an ominous aura exuding from the depths of your son's room.
50
00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:38,660
Which prompted me to rush over here
51
00:05:38,660 --> 00:05:40,850
and expel the sinister presence before its too late—
52
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,940
THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO STRAIGHT TO ATARU'S ROOM?!
53
00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:52,910
Hmm. It doesn't want to be covered by a blanket eh?
54
00:05:52,910 --> 00:05:54,820
Perhaps it's just sensitive to heat.
55
00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:56,870
Don't you have a more supernatural explanation?!
56
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:02,540
Wow! He's got it perfectly pinned on all sides!
57
00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:03,920
Okay! Now's our chance!
58
00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:18,230
What?! A blizzard?!
59
00:06:29,910 --> 00:06:32,660
Aw jeez don't ya think it's better to cut yer losses
60
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:34,370
and say goodbye to that dumb kotatsu?
61
00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:41,410
He says that backing down now would hurt his pride as a kotatsu fanatic.
62
00:06:41,410 --> 00:06:44,400
What a dumb freakin' thing to take pride in.
63
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,410
There's a Hyottoko emblem carved into it.
64
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,420
My goodness!
65
00:06:51,420 --> 00:06:52,910
I'll be damned.
66
00:06:52,910 --> 00:06:54,740
Guess this kotatsu used to belong to the Mendos.
67
00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:57,780
We should ask them directly and find out!
68
00:06:57,780 --> 00:06:59,390
Okay leave it to me.
69
00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:02,600
MENDO YOU STUPID ASSHAT!
70
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,060
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!
71
00:07:05,070 --> 00:07:06,410
In 0.1 seconds.
72
00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:08,030
Talk about fast.
73
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Nothing escapes from the Mendo family information network.
74
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Just hear me out!
75
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,570
No way in hell!
76
00:07:13,570 --> 00:07:15,120
You better calm down mister!
77
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,410
Argh so ugly!
78
00:07:16,410 --> 00:07:19,990
I guess you could say I still have "knockout" good looks!
79
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For once I'm glad to have you around.
80
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:24,830
I can confirm.
81
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This kotatsu is one of the Mendo family treasures.
82
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Wood from the sole south pole cedar was used to make it.
83
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,280
The south pole what?
84
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,570
A very rare species of tree.
85
00:07:34,570 --> 00:07:38,180
Just as the name implies only one exists and it grows in the south pole.
86
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:40,990
It's an ironically unfortunate kotatsu
87
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since growing up in such a cold place has made it totally despise any heat.
88
00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:46,940
We had no choice but to give it away.
89
00:07:47,660 --> 00:07:50,480
I see! You must have bought it!
90
00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:51,900
Clench.
91
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:54,490
As one of the leading kotatsu enthusiasts
92
00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:58,070
it might be possible for you to thaw this little guy's cold heart.
93
00:07:58,070 --> 00:08:01,660
No one in the Mendo family was able to pull it off.
94
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But you can! Please make it happen!
95
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,590
Welp good luck all.
96
00:08:16,070 --> 00:08:18,820
Is it me or did he just saddle us with big pain in the neck?
97
00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:20,770
Damn that jackass.
98
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,150
Okay.
99
00:08:27,410 --> 00:08:29,070
Time to eat.
100
00:08:29,070 --> 00:08:31,020
Huh? This is all we get?
101
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:32,570
Don't look at me.
102
00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:34,610
I can't make food appear out of thin air.
103
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Thanks for the meal.
104
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,790
Hey! Dammit!
105
00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:46,500
And thus
106
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,990
the intense struggle between cat and kotatsu
107
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stretched on endlessly both day and night.
108
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:26,040
And then finally the world was introduced to...
109
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Go! Mush!
110
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:33,210
...the first ever kotatsu sled.
111
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,770
Meow!
112
00:09:47,810 --> 00:09:50,190
What's a cow doing in a pet shop?
113
00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:53,320
I recommend keeping your distance kid.
114
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,660
That cow's former owner let it go because of its bad habit.
115
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What bad habit?
116
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Just hold your hand out and see.
117
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Like this?
118
00:10:01,610 --> 00:10:03,820
See? It chomped right at ya.
119
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:07,200
You should've listened when I told you to keep your distance.
120
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,280
Don't act like such a smug jerk about it.
121
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Hey leggo already!
122
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That's enough!
123
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:22,820
And that dear viewers was a very common scene
124
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:25,570
that you can find happening on any street corner in town.
125
00:10:25,570 --> 00:10:27,560
Yeah right! That was totally out of the ordinary!
126
00:10:30,870 --> 00:10:32,350
But then...
127
00:10:34,990 --> 00:10:36,780
Ya got bit by a cow?
128
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Does it hurt?
129
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,610
I'm fine!
130
00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:42,570
I'm a detective.
131
00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:44,070
And you're my client.
132
00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:46,450
That's as far as our relationship can go.
133
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But... I'm deeply in love you!
134
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,130
Greetings Mr. Bear!
135
00:10:56,130 --> 00:10:57,370
Roar!
136
00:10:57,370 --> 00:11:00,320
The way you bears talk is... totally bar-bear-ic! Just kidding.
137
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:01,660
Chomp!
138
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:04,090
Welp that's all folks!
139
00:11:07,310 --> 00:11:10,270
It's too late for you madam!
140
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,950
Because anyone who I bite...
141
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is doomed to transform into a freaky monster just like me!
142
00:11:22,530 --> 00:11:24,610
Oh no!
143
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,360
See? You're starting to turn already!
144
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,610
Mistress!
145
00:11:47,550 --> 00:11:50,010
No! It can't be!
146
00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:53,900
This is too cruel!
147
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:56,450
Eeek! Another monster!
148
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Not our mistress!
149
00:11:58,370 --> 00:12:00,900
What an awful nightmare.
150
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,530
Hey Ten. Wake up.
151
00:12:04,530 --> 00:12:07,020
We need to brush our teeth before bed.
152
00:12:25,550 --> 00:12:27,400
What the heck...?
153
00:12:29,070 --> 00:12:31,150
Why do they look like cow horns?
154
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,610
Ten!
155
00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:41,400
Waaah! Lum transformed into a cow!
156
00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:41,400
Who are you calling a cow darn it?!
157
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My horns will go back to normal in no time!
158
00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:46,320
Really?
159
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,160
Yeah. So...
160
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don't tell anybody about this okay?
161
00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:55,160
Lum didn't show up today either huh?
162
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,780
Hey Moroboshi. Is Miss Lum sick or something?
163
00:12:57,780 --> 00:12:58,750
I dunno.
164
00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:01,480
But she's been out for 3 days!
165
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,360
Heads-up.
166
00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:07,030
What's the deal rugrat?
167
00:13:07,030 --> 00:13:09,070
Don't come in here looking all pouty.
168
00:13:09,070 --> 00:13:11,280
Why are you totally fine?
169
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,850
You got bit by the cow too didn'tcha?
170
00:13:13,850 --> 00:13:16,730
It's not fair yer the only one still healthy!
171
00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:19,700
Hold up. What is that supposed to mean?
172
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:21,070
Why'd you bring up the cow?
173
00:13:21,070 --> 00:13:22,820
Did something happen to Miss Lum?!
174
00:13:22,820 --> 00:13:23,860
N-No nothing happened!
175
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,070
I wanna know why you mentioned the cow!
176
00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:28,070
We're busy talking about Miss Lum here!
177
00:13:28,070 --> 00:13:29,450
Yeah and the cow—
178
00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:32,280
For crying out loud! How are you more infatuated with a cow than Miss Lum?!
179
00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,320
I NEVER SAID I LOVED THE COW DAMMIT!
180
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,450
Quit arguing about this stupid crap!
181
00:13:36,450 --> 00:13:39,860
You should be worried about Lum right now because she's sick!
182
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,320
Spill the beans rugrat!
183
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,260
What's wrong with Lum?!
184
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,720
I'm fine you guys.
185
00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:53,930
Miss Lum!
186
00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:56,690
Darling. Do you have a minute?
187
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:58,690
What's up?
188
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:02,150
I have something to talk with you about.
189
00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:07,860
Let's go somewhere private.
190
00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:19,830
Are you okay darling?!
191
00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:22,380
NOT AFTER YOU LET ME FALL THREE STORIES!
192
00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:23,410
He got up!
193
00:14:23,410 --> 00:14:25,170
And walked away like it's nothing.
194
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,120
Lum's all scatterbrained.
195
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,510
That must mean she's still sick.
196
00:14:30,780 --> 00:14:34,970
I know she wanted me to keep it a secret but...
197
00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:38,600
You fell from the third floor?
198
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,520
Oh come on don't lie to me.
199
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,070
It really happened.
200
00:14:42,070 --> 00:14:44,370
Wow. That's a new hairdo.
201
00:14:44,370 --> 00:14:46,480
Please Nurse Sakura! I need tender loving care!
202
00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:56,280
Is there something on my face?
203
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,290
You weren't the one I was staring at idiot.
204
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,440
It looks like you have something on your mind.
205
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:07,410
What happens if a cow bites you?
206
00:15:07,410 --> 00:15:09,230
They leave teeth marks behind.
207
00:15:09,740 --> 00:15:11,570
Did you get bitten by a cow Lum?
208
00:15:11,570 --> 00:15:13,410
I got bitten by one but nothing happened!
209
00:15:13,410 --> 00:15:16,180
You're a freak of nature so you don't count!
210
00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:18,640
Besides Lum is an alien.
211
00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:23,570
It wouldn't be strange for her to have symptoms that are beyond our understanding.
212
00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:28,270
What's the matter Lum?
213
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,780
I was just curious that's all.
214
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:37,870
Lum.
215
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,200
Hey Lum!
216
00:15:39,530 --> 00:15:41,370
The rugrat mentioned that you were sick.
217
00:15:41,370 --> 00:15:42,940
Is something wrong?
218
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,360
Answer me already!
219
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,400
Jeez what's your damage?
220
00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:55,190
Darling.
221
00:15:56,370 --> 00:16:00,520
Tell me darling... how do you feel about cows?
222
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:01,980
Cows?
223
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:04,980
Marbled beef is awesome.
224
00:16:07,780 --> 00:16:10,440
If I go missing one day...
225
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,400
and then...
226
00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:15,660
a cow shows up at your door...
227
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:20,190
I want you to name it after me and treat it real nice okay?
228
00:16:22,950 --> 00:16:25,120
Where is all of this coming from?
229
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,370
I don't get it.
230
00:16:25,370 --> 00:16:26,370
Darling...
231
00:16:27,660 --> 00:16:29,450
Goodbye!
232
00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:30,040
Hey!
233
00:16:30,450 --> 00:16:32,010
Wait a damn second!
234
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,070
Y-You...
235
00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:13,620
I'm going to turn into a cow soon...
236
00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:17,180
Don't be stupid! You got bit by a cow not Count Dracula!
237
00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:20,160
But just look at my horns.
238
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,320
I did a bunch of research
239
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:28,520
but I couldn't find any information about aliens who got sick from cow bites....
240
00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:32,360
Okay so...
241
00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:35,740
you were just gonna secretly become a cow?
242
00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:38,160
And then what?
243
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:42,020
You'd end up as somebody's sukiyaki dinner if you were caught in the wild.
244
00:17:51,910 --> 00:17:53,730
Don't you dare leave!
245
00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:58,770
Listen.
246
00:17:59,820 --> 00:18:01,440
I...
247
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I'm gonna take good care of you.
248
00:18:15,650 --> 00:18:17,730
Oh darling!
249
00:18:31,870 --> 00:18:34,130
Ya say she grew cow horns?
250
00:18:34,130 --> 00:18:36,460
Ah! That's nothing ta worry 'bout!
251
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:39,340
Our horns are what keep us healthy!
252
00:18:39,340 --> 00:18:42,970
So if any bad bacteria gets inside us they grow nice n' long!
253
00:18:42,970 --> 00:18:44,720
And they emit prophylactic energy
254
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,470
until we get better!
255
00:18:46,470 --> 00:18:49,890
Her horns'll go back ta normal once them bacteria get outta her system!
256
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:52,690
So you're gonna be fine.
257
00:18:52,690 --> 00:18:53,650
Huh?
258
00:18:53,650 --> 00:18:55,900
Great news huh Lum?
259
00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:59,660
Say honey what is Ataru doing outside?
260
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:02,070
Building a cattle barn apparently.
261
00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:03,490
Why on earth...?
262
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:07,360
I can't understand what goes on in that boy's head anymore.
263
00:19:08,370 --> 00:19:11,730
You're gonna have a nice place to stay okay?
264
00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:14,690
Right here!
265
00:21:06,490 --> 00:21:10,070
Let's see. The next place on my list to visit is the Mendo house.
266
00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:12,910
I should be getting pretty close now...
267
00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:15,190
HERE REALLY?!
268
00:21:23,410 --> 00:21:25,450
P-Pardon me good sirs.
269
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:29,140
I am the teacher in charge of providing instruction for young master Shutaro.
270
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,140
Sorry for the trouble. Th-Thanks for having me.
271
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,350
Crap. I can't let this intimidate me.
272
00:21:37,350 --> 00:21:40,400
I must retain my dignity as a teacher until the bitter end.
273
00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:45,530
A-Actually Mendo has a real attitude problem when it comes to working with others.
274
00:21:45,530 --> 00:21:48,870
And I'm almost positive that's because of how he's been raised at home!
275
00:21:48,870 --> 00:21:52,410
So I have to make sure to give his parents a piece of my mind!
276
00:21:52,410 --> 00:21:54,910
GAH! SORRY! I'M SORRY!
277
00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:02,630
So...
278
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:09,020
I assume that you've been properly attending to all of Shutaro's needs yes?
279
00:22:09,550 --> 00:22:11,200
Y-Yessir!
280
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,820
Our school has taken full responsibility to ensure that...
281
00:22:13,820 --> 00:22:14,970
Oh Onsen.
282
00:22:14,970 --> 00:22:16,770
I didn't realize you were here already.
283
00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:19,980
M-Mendo my boy! What a relief!
284
00:22:19,980 --> 00:22:23,690
It's so nerve-wracking to be here wit—
285
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,070
Be careful not to make any abrupt moves around me okay?
286
00:22:27,070 --> 00:22:29,520
Otherwise you'll spook my bodyguards.
287
00:22:33,370 --> 00:22:35,120
H-Holy hell...
288
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:40,190
I never thought that going to visit my students at their homes could be so deadly.
289
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,280
On the next episode of Urusei Yatsura!
290
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,630
Which one is my wife?!
291
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:19,700
Kotatsu
292
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,480
SNORE
293
00:00:55,940 --> 00:01:00,410
STAAAARE
294
00:01:17,450 --> 00:01:18,380
100 YEN
295
00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:20,390
100 YEN
296
00:01:22,070 --> 00:01:23,620
100 YEN
297
00:01:42,950 --> 00:01:47,000
Kotatsu Love
298
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:50,990
TWITCH
299
00:03:55,910 --> 00:03:56,250
PWING!
300
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,320
DASH
301
00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:12,330
THUD
302
00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:12,330
CLATTER
303
00:05:57,820 --> 00:05:58,240
GOTCHA!
304
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,370
CLATTER
305
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,370
THUD
306
00:06:44,450 --> 00:06:45,460
HARUMPH!
307
00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:11,920
KOTATSU FANATIC PRIDE
308
00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:16,070
SWOOOON
309
00:08:56,700 --> 00:09:00,780
THUD
310
00:08:56,700 --> 00:09:00,780
CLATTER
311
00:08:56,700 --> 00:09:00,780
CLATTER
312
00:09:18,990 --> 00:09:20,820
SHAKE
313
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:29,000
Zipang
314
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:33,210
CLITTER-CLATTER
315
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:33,210
JINGLE-JANGLE
316
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,350
PET SHOP:
317
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,350
YOSHI-NO-YA
318
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:51,410
Lum Becomes a Cow
319
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,720
Lum
320
00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:12,670
Carpenter
321
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,340
Lum
322
00:21:02,030 --> 00:21:03,990
The Home Visit Blues:
323
00:21:02,030 --> 00:21:03,990
Luxurious Mendo Edition
324
00:21:23,410 --> 00:21:29,140
PANIC
325
00:22:09,550 --> 00:22:13,010
BOW
326
00:22:41,780 --> 00:22:44,920
To be continued in the
327
00:22:41,780 --> 00:22:44,920
"Prohibitive Miyake Edition"
328
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:49,630
Eerie Earmuffs
329
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:49,630
Family Tree
22663
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