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1
00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,839
'Norman Stanley Fletcher,
2
00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:09,119
'you have pleaded guilty
to the charges.
3
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,760
'It is my duty to pass sentence.
4
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:20,319
'An habitual criminal, you accept
arrest as an occupational hazard,
5
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:24,920
'and, presumably,
accept imprisonment as casually.
6
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:31,839
'You will be committed to the full
term allowed for these offences.
7
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:35,200
'You'll go to prison
for five years.'
8
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,199
KNOCKING
9
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:48,199
- Is this true about Fletcher, sir?
- What? Good morning, Mr Mackay.
10
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,519
Is this true?
11
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:51,919
Yes.
12
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,879
Agh...! Definite?
13
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:57,719
Yes. The Carlisle General
verified it.
14
00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,300
Where is he now?
15
00:00:59,301 --> 00:01:00,879
Back here. In bed.
16
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:04,279
COULD it be a mistake, sir?
17
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,119
No. The X-rays are positive.
18
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,639
There's nothing we do?
19
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:10,860
Nothing.
20
00:01:10,861 --> 00:01:12,079
Agh!
21
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,100
Fletcher, of all people!
22
00:01:14,101 --> 00:01:16,119
That's the way it is!
23
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,799
How long would you say, sir?
24
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,759
Three weeks?
25
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:25,799
I had him down
for this drainage detail.
26
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:31,080
He's going to have three cushy weeks
on his back with a broken ankle!
27
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,540
Thank you, Charlie.
28
00:01:35,541 --> 00:01:37,960
I'll do the same for you some day.
29
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,919
Mr Mackay!
30
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,439
I don't think
it's official visiting hours!
31
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:50,478
- You're a lucky man, Fletcher.
- No grapes, then?
32
00:01:50,479 --> 00:01:55,359
I just wanted to verify
that you weren't malingering.
33
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,399
My foot IS broken. It's in plaster.
34
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,040
The evidence is irreFOOTable!
35
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,399
He's asleep, look!
36
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,478
Your indisposition
is very frustrating, Fletcher.
37
00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:12,999
Not for me it isn't.
Plenty of grub in 'ere.
38
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,999
Better beds!
39
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:20,078
Since you lost your soft library job,
I was set to make your life a misery.
40
00:02:20,079 --> 00:02:24,599
I gathered that when you sent
me up a 20-foot ladder.
41
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:28,078
Clean the pigeon droppings
out the guttering!
42
00:02:28,079 --> 00:02:30,639
Did you fall intentionally?
43
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:32,559
Come on!
44
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:37,039
It's poetic justice.
You was out to victimise me,
45
00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,559
but you've given me the passport
to comfort!
46
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,879
Mind you,
I have to put up with Norris.
47
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:50,679
- That cuts both ways! - Shut it,
or I'll hit you with my frying-pan!
48
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:53,839
Violence, violence!
Quiet!
49
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,760
What's the matter?
50
00:02:55,761 --> 00:02:57,679
And you!
51
00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,599
He's been on at me
all afternoon, Mr Mackay.
52
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:07,519
I can't blame him for that.
You are not the pleasantest of men!
53
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,039
In fact, you're horrible!
54
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,559
I've 'ad surgery!
55
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,399
Ingrowing toenail. Look!
56
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:19,159
I know the surgery I'D give you,
Norris!
57
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:24,799
Couldn't wait till you got out! Had
to overburden the medical system!
58
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:29,439
- That's what you're doing.
- And whose fault is that?
59
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:34,919
Only four weeks - maximum!
I'll soon have you up on your foot.
60
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,440
Not before it's mended!
61
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,199
You're in discomfort, are you?
62
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,679
- Not really.
- Come on! It's giving you hell!
63
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:48,199
No! - Not even the odd twinge?
64
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:53,000
- Not now the plaster's on! No!
- There's no justice!
65
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,159
And the next object is...
66
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,959
..a thwarted screw!
67
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,120
A thwarted screw!
68
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,239
Oohh...
69
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,599
I'm in pain.
70
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,720
- Pardon? - I'm in pain. - Good!
71
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,239
Meals on wheels!
72
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,760
Look, here she comes.
73
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:30,999
Look, Blanco. What's on the menu,
apart from gravy stains?
74
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:36,039
Braised steak, carrots, mashed
potatoes, bananas and custard.
75
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:39,120
- What's for afters? - Tomato soup.
76
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,879
Hear that, Blanco?
77
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,399
Bananas and custard, mate.
78
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:50,839
- I've got no appetite. - You must eat.
If you don't eat, you'll be ill.
79
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,279
You are ill, ain't ya!
80
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:56,039
If he don't want his, I'll have it.
81
00:04:56,040 --> 00:05:00,879
No, you will not. Put it by his
bed, Lennie. He can eat it later.
82
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,839
Or I will.
83
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:06,039
- How are you, Fletch? - Fine. You?
84
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,559
- Not as comfy as you. - Yeah...
85
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,599
Lots of carrots.
86
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,839
Don't give him mine.
87
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,640
Shut up!
88
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,679
- Here you are, Fletch. - Ta.
89
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,199
That's looks good.
90
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,719
Here you are, Blanco.
I'll leave it there.
91
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:27,239
- He don't look chipper. - He's fine.
92
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:30,759
- He's depressed.
- He looks at death's door to me.
93
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,919
'Ere, shut up!
94
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,439
You don't talk about death
in hospital.
95
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,320
Especially
96
00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:40,199
if you're at death's door like him.
97
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,639
That's a good one, Fletcher.
98
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,279
Well, you gotta laugh else you cry.
99
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:48,559
- You're cheery.
- Life of Riley in here.
100
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:53,359
Nice day out yesterday.
Carlisle hospital. Got plastered.
101
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,399
Lovely nurses down there, you know.
102
00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:00,279
Poking their 'eads round the door
and things.
103
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:05,639
I was the villain, you see. Convict
99. Manacled to a wheelchair.
104
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:09,399
- Like Ironside, only bent!
- Yeah, that's right.
105
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:13,719
Course, it's my air of villainy
what titillated them.
106
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:17,239
Some had bigger titillations
than others!
107
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,959
One ravishing West Indian sister...
108
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:24,480
- Len, you've had long enough fiddling
with that. - That's what she said!
109
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:29,119
- Can I hear the end of this? - No.
110
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:33,319
- Tell me later. - It'll keep.
- Sleep well. - Yeah.
111
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,839
It's so nice having the cell
to myself.
112
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:39,759
It's so fresh without your feet!
113
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:43,359
- How d'you think we feel?
- Shut up, Norris.
114
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:47,879
You'll be glad to get out of here,
won't you, Norris?
115
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:52,519
You can be revolting
to a larger number of people.
116
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:55,719
I'll be glad to see the back of him!
117
00:06:55,720 --> 00:07:01,439
I never had many possessions but,
in three days, he's had them all!
118
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,719
Is this true?
119
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:08,479
He had me wireless, me silver
snuffbox... Real silver...
120
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,879
Kept snout in it.
He had me snout an' all.
121
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:15,159
- Is this true?
- Yeah. Fair and square.
122
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:19,479
And me musical box
what played Waltzing Matilda.
123
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,639
Well, make no mistake,
he's gonna give 'em back.
124
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:27,079
Fair and square.
It was cards, wasn't it?
125
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:31,839
- You never played cards with him?
- Brag. Nine-card brag.
126
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:36,879
- Fair and square.
- Give it back, Norris. - Like heck.
127
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,440
Next time, it'll be a full one!
128
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:48,079
Don't worry, Blanco.
I'll get them back for you.
129
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:54,759
It doesn't matter. What do I need
with a Waltzing Matilda musical box?
130
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,999
You've got another two years to do!
131
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,519
I'm going out of here
sooner than that.
132
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,620
You can't escape.
133
00:08:04,621 --> 00:08:07,720
You're too old to go over the wall.
134
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:07,719
Stop watching Colditz!
135
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,639
I'm going out of here
in a wooden overcoat.
136
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,599
Now, now.
What kind of talk is that?
137
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:20,079
Me time's up, Fletch.
I'm not going to stay the distance.
138
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,119
It's a tired heart, the doctor said.
139
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,119
Tired everything, more like.
140
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,079
Yes... I came in here to die.
141
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,999
You talk rubbish, don't ya?
142
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:36,119
You're not ready
for celestial porridge, mate!
143
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,558
You're not old.
144
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,079
You look old.
145
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:45,119
That's porridge.
Porridge puts years on a man.
146
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,559
It's well-known, that is.
147
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,999
You're 29, ain't ya?
148
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:55,679
- 63. - 63? That's not old. Most of
the government's older than that!
149
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:59,639
Yeah, and look at the state
the country's in.
150
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:04,479
Mind you, it weren't much better
when I was a lad.
151
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,600
Depression... No work.
152
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,880
Took to stealing.
153
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,679
Such a waste.
154
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:18,920
You know, I spent
nigh on half my life inside.
155
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,879
Lost all my family...
156
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,399
..mostly through neglect...
157
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,039
..mine.
158
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,559
That's why I'm resigned
to passing on.
159
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:33,279
Well, more than that - relieved.
160
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:37,799
Now, listen, there's years
of mileage left in you yet!
161
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,319
Look at Charlie Chaplin.
162
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:45,599
He was over 80 when he fathered
his umpteenth child.
163
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:50,760
Winston Churchill was older than
you when he had his finest hour.
164
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,399
As was my Uncle Wilfred.
165
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,079
Aye, what did he do, then?
166
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:04,119
When he was 72, he married this
gorgeous, young dental assistant.
167
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,159
Course, it killed him.
168
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:13,719
You should have seen the smile on his face
when they put him in his coffin, though.
169
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,479
Died with his boots off,
then, did he?
170
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,999
Yeah... and his teeth out.
171
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:24,640
Couldn't get the coffin lid down
for three days!
172
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:32,439
It's a question of how you feel.
You're as young as you feel.
173
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,959
For instance, this old man
went to the doctor.
174
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:40,999
He says, "My wife and I aren't
getting any pleasure out of sex."
175
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,000
The doctor said, "How old are you?"
176
00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:44,999
"81." "81?"
177
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,039
"How old's your wife?" "79." "79?"
178
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:52,559
"And you're not getting
any pleasure out of sex?"
179
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:57,640
"When did you first notice this?"
"Twice last night and again today."
180
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,840
SNORING
181
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,760
COUGHING
182
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,200
Fletch.
183
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,599
Fletch.
184
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,120
- What...? - I want to talk to you.
185
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,439
What's the matter?
186
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:35,799
I wanted to tell you something
while he's asleep... Is he asleep?
187
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,319
SNORING CONTINUES
188
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,919
Unless he snores while he's awake!
189
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:46,639
- You see, I've got something
of value... - What do you mean?
190
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,039
You know I've got no family.
I told you.
191
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:54,559
The few things I've got -
well, Norris has them now -
192
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:58,399
but I've got one thing
that I want to bequeath.
193
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,719
You being morbid?
194
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,239
Practical.
195
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:06,719
If owt happened,
no-one would know about my legacy.
196
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:11,679
If you wanna make a will, Blanco,
you gotta get a solicitor.
197
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:16,199
We've got one on our landing.
He'll see you all right.
198
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:20,239
He's straight as a die.
He'll be all right.
199
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,679
- What's his name? - Corkscrew Carter.
200
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:26,199
- Nice bloke. - Yes.
201
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:31,759
- The thing is, my legacy's not the
sort you can legalise. - What is it?
202
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,519
Ill-gotten gains, buried in Leeds.
203
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,039
Ill-gotten gains. Say no more.
204
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:41,159
- Shall I tell you about it?
- Not now...
205
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,199
- Well, it were like this... - Dear.
206
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:51,919
Three of us did a job on a wages van on its way to
a fridge factory near Otley. Did you read about it?
207
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:55,439
- No.
- It were all in the Yorkshire Post!
208
00:12:55,440 --> 00:13:00,079
Unless it made Titbits,
I'd have missed it.
209
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:03,679
It was untidy.
Lots of things went wrong...
210
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:06,239
You wouldn't be here otherwise.
211
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,999
Now, the other two were brothers.
212
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:13,040
There was Jack Barrett and Harry,
er...
213
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,079
Barrett, was it?
214
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,600
That's right. Did you know him?
215
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,780
No, only through his brother, like,
216
00:13:23,781 --> 00:13:25,799
you know.
217
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:32,039
They escaped. They got away
in a fishing boat from Bridlington.
218
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:38,560
Is this going to take long? My foot's
gone to sleep. I'd like to follow it!
219
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:43,199
Not that they knew
where the loot was!
220
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:47,719
Much as I'd like to stroll
down felony lane with you...
221
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,919
Cos I was the one with the map.
222
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,239
It's bleedin' Treasure Island now!
223
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,840
£8,000.
224
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,839
How much?
225
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,119
- Eight thousand. - Eight big 'uns?
226
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:06,759
Aye. Maybe nine.
227
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,599
All in used notes.
228
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,199
Didn't have time to count it.
229
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:17,959
The paper said it were 15, but that
was the company trying to do Lloyds!
230
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:22,520
I never realised the magnitude
of your legacy.
231
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,560
The map's yours, Fletch.
232
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,639
I don't know what to say.
233
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,279
Words fail me, Blanco.
234
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:40,359
Tell you something, the money
will be wisely spent, rest assured.
235
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,940
But, presuming that you don't snuff
236
00:14:43,941 --> 00:14:47,520
it, which we all hope and pray for,
237
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:47,519
that you don't, I mean,
238
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,200
on your release, you'll want
239
00:14:50,201 --> 00:14:52,879
the map back, I suppose, won't you?
240
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,879
If I do stay the distance,
I suppose so, yeah.
241
00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:01,399
- And you trust me to give it
you back? - Course I do.
242
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:08,439
Do you know, in all my life, I don't think
anyone's ever shown me that sort of trust -
243
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:12,479
probation officers,
borstal principals, judges...
244
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:17,399
And yet, here's you, a man who
hasn't known me very long, or...
245
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:23,399
..or shared great intimacy at all,
yet you're willing to trust me.
246
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,840
I am that, Fletch,
247
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,880
You must be bleedin' barmy!
248
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,199
GROANING
249
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:41,479
Who's that? Is that you, Norris?
250
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,119
Norris?
251
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:47,400
- What's happening?
- I think I've been molested!
252
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,439
What is it? What is all this fuss?
253
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:58,959
- Thank heavens it's you! - Why, Fletcher?
What's going on? What's the matter?
254
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:04,399
- What's going on?
- Don't give me that, nerk!
255
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,118
Answer me!
256
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,078
I was awakened by a foreign hand.
257
00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:12,078
A foreign hand?
258
00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:14,598
Norris was over here.
259
00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:17,999
What were you up to, Norris,
stealing?
260
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,879
No!
261
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:24,118
He was rummaging
through my pyjamas!
262
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,880
Have you got any valuables there?
263
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:34,319
Only what I always keep
in my pyjamas!
264
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,839
Perhaps he was after
your Lemon and Barley.
265
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,440
In my pyjamas? Funny shaped bottle!
266
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:50,160
You get out in two days! You must be mad to risk
losing remission by going back to your nasty habits.
267
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,399
Why do you believe Fletcher?
268
00:17:53,400 --> 00:18:00,279
He's not the sort to cry out in the night over
nothing. And what could be worth stealing?
269
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,559
You're not hiding something,
are you?
270
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,799
Hiding?
271
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,599
Like a bottle of surgical alcohol
or something?
272
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,199
No, I'm not hiding anything, sir.
273
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:16,719
- I'd better have a look.
- No. I want to get some sleep.
274
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,759
Fletcher.
275
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,799
- Let's look here. - Marvellous, innit?
276
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,060
Even on a sickbed,
277
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,319
we're subject to these indignities.
278
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,039
I want to get to the bottom of this.
279
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,399
You're on your way!
280
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:36,439
Well, I did think I'd get a bit
of peace and quiet on this shift,
281
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:40,679
but there's always one of you
up something.
282
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,799
God!
283
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,279
- God. - Where you going now?
284
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,520
It's just occurred to me
285
00:18:49,521 --> 00:18:52,760
that this little farce
286
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:52,759
has all the elements of diversion.
287
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:56,199
The entire wing's
probably tunnelled out.
288
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,240
- Oi...! - What? - Lights!
289
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,919
He left the door unlocked!
It's not good enough.
290
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,440
A burglar could walk
straight in here.
291
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,679
There you are, Blanco.
Nice bit of marmalade.
292
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,439
What's new in the outside world?
293
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:32,159
Mackay's in a rotten mood,
Villa drew at home,
294
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:37,159
the water's working if you're quick
and it's cauliflower for supper.
295
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,879
See, you miss it all in here.
296
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,439
I missed out the boring bits.
297
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:47,479
'Ere on your way back, would you
get me a newspaper? The Sun.
298
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,000
And something to read, an' all.
299
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,319
I finished them two, see.
300
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,639
Um...
301
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:03,359
If you would carefully put those
books back in the cell for me?
302
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:07,439
I don't want the nerks
to find out about them.
303
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,959
Come on, Godber.
304
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,800
- Cheerio, Fletch. - Drive carefully.
305
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:21,999
- How's your breakfast, Blanco?
- I've had worse.
306
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:26,599
- I'll have his!
- All down your front, you will!
307
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,079
Listen, you two. I'd like a word.
308
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,599
I'll come straight to the point.
309
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,639
It's about last night.
I was awake.
310
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,679
I heard!
311
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,719
Heard what?
312
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,799
About the map.
313
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,239
What map is this, then?
314
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,759
Stop peeing around, Fletcher.
315
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,799
'Ere, listen,
you could cut me in.
316
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,319
What are you talking about?
317
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:54,079
I'm talking about the map.
318
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,439
The buried gelt!
319
00:20:56,440 --> 00:21:01,159
- Why should we cut you in?
- See! There is a map!
320
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,599
All right, there's a map!
321
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,119
All right... OI!
322
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:09,399
As he says,
why should we cut you in?
323
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,919
- Cos I'm going out tomorrow. - So?
324
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,759
Because you don't get out
for three years!
325
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:22,279
Anything could happen to it. They could
find it, or build a car park on top of it!
326
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:27,639
I can keep it safe for you.
Put it in the building society!
327
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:32,879
I know you! You'd invest it
in brighter future for yourself.
328
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,359
There wouldn't be any left for us.
329
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:40,839
You'd spend it on wining and dining
northern tarts in night-clubs.
330
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,359
Yeah!
331
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:45,639
That's what I'd planned
to do with it.
332
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:49,759
Well, you're entitled.
It's your money!
333
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,999
If he snuffs it, you'll cop it all!
334
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,799
I'm his chosen benefactor, mate!
335
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,060
You're just someone he can't stand,
336
00:21:59,061 --> 00:22:02,320
and who diddled him
337
00:21:55,800 --> 00:22:02,319
out of his possessions -
338
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,199
like his little Matilda what spins.
339
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:10,359
But, if you can find the map,
I'll cut you in. There you are.
340
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:16,239
- But... - It's all right. I can't move
out of this room, can I?
341
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,759
Yeah...
342
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:23,239
- That's a deal?
- Yeah, but you must find it first.
343
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:27,199
I reckon I know
where you where you hid it.
344
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,720
- You ain't clever enough. - Yeah?
345
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,079
No! AAAHHH!
346
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,200
NURSE!
347
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,839
Godber...
348
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:08,199
Hello, Norris, come to say
your goodbyes have you...? Goodbye!
349
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,120
No, no. it's Fletch. You know
350
00:23:12,121 --> 00:23:16,040
them books he give you, did he leave
351
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:16,039
a bit of paper in them by mistake?
352
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:20,999
- Why? - Well, he wanted them and I
thought I'd just take them for him.
353
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,519
Paper?
354
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,959
- It's meaningless.
- So why do you want it?
355
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,439
I dunno. It's meaningless.
356
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,079
Meaningless, is it?
357
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,599
- Was there a bit of paper here?
- Maybe.
358
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,639
'Ere, listen, Godber...
I mean Lennie,
359
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:43,159
How would you like to make some
real money? On the outside?
360
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,959
Well, it's no use to me inside!
361
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:49,479
I got all my gear on the inside.
362
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,039
And my snout, too.
363
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,679
- What? For a piece of paper?
- Ask no questions.
364
00:23:55,680 --> 00:24:01,719
You mean, ask no questions because
this whatever it is belongs to Fletcher.
365
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,399
This is all behind his back!
366
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,159
Listen, don't you worry about him!
367
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,680
He only worries about number one.
368
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,799
I'm offering you all my back pay.
369
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,839
- And my snout. - Fletcher is my mate.
370
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:21,439
I've got an antique snuffbox -
worth a lot of money.
371
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,880
- He's been good to me. - A music box.
372
00:24:23,881 --> 00:24:26,319
Plays Waltzing Matilda.
373
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,799
Now, look here, Norris...
374
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:33,639
contrary to popular belief,
we're not all without scruples.
375
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:38,679
Friendship! You can't buy that.
Fletcher's shown me a lot of that.
376
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,719
Japanese radio?
377
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,240
All right, done!
378
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,519
Here he comes,
379
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,860
Judas!
380
00:25:16,861 --> 00:25:19,199
The Judas Iscariot of Slade Prison.
381
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:27,200
- I don't know how he dare show his
face. - You betrayed us to Norris. - I did!
382
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,679
- Yes! Did it work? - Like a charm. - Yes!
383
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:39,199
What have we here? A silver snuff-holder, a
Japanese radio, and one Australian music box.
384
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,759
With all thy worldly goods,
we thee endow.
385
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,880
Lads... lads.
386
00:25:44,881 --> 00:25:46,999
"WALTZING MATILDA" PLAYS
387
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:51,239
'Ere, what happened
to the extra snout?
388
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:57,039
- Too much to bring. - We'll split the
backpay! - When did you cook this up?
389
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,839
That afternoon when he was bathing.
390
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,079
He believes it.
391
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:08,439
It's him. Great acting! Course we
knew Norris would be earwigging.
392
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:15,959
- Do you think he'll go straight there? - Yes. The
best is yet to come. - He'll be in Leeds by midday.
393
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,799
Then he'll go and buy a shovel.
394
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:23,879
He'll lie low this afternoon.
Won't go till everyone's gone.
395
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:28,800
We must listen to your radio later.
There might be a report on the news.
396
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:46,479
A man was apprehended while
removing a section of turf from the pitch.
397
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:50,120
'He was a horticulturist
of no fixed abode.'
30577
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