All language subtitles for Porridge - 2x05 - Happy Release.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,839 'Norman Stanley Fletcher, 2 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:09,119 'you have pleaded guilty to the charges. 3 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,760 'It is my duty to pass sentence. 4 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:20,319 'An habitual criminal, you accept arrest as an occupational hazard, 5 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:24,920 'and, presumably, accept imprisonment as casually. 6 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:31,839 'You will be committed to the full term allowed for these offences. 7 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:35,200 'You'll go to prison for five years.' 8 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,199 KNOCKING 9 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:48,199 - Is this true about Fletcher, sir? - What? Good morning, Mr Mackay. 10 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,519 Is this true? 11 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:51,919 Yes. 12 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,879 Agh...! Definite? 13 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:57,719 Yes. The Carlisle General verified it. 14 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,300 Where is he now? 15 00:00:59,301 --> 00:01:00,879 Back here. In bed. 16 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:04,279 COULD it be a mistake, sir? 17 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,119 No. The X-rays are positive. 18 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,639 There's nothing we do? 19 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:10,860 Nothing. 20 00:01:10,861 --> 00:01:12,079 Agh! 21 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,100 Fletcher, of all people! 22 00:01:14,101 --> 00:01:16,119 That's the way it is! 23 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,799 How long would you say, sir? 24 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,759 Three weeks? 25 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:25,799 I had him down for this drainage detail. 26 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:31,080 He's going to have three cushy weeks on his back with a broken ankle! 27 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,540 Thank you, Charlie. 28 00:01:35,541 --> 00:01:37,960 I'll do the same for you some day. 29 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,919 Mr Mackay! 30 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,439 I don't think it's official visiting hours! 31 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:50,478 - You're a lucky man, Fletcher. - No grapes, then? 32 00:01:50,479 --> 00:01:55,359 I just wanted to verify that you weren't malingering. 33 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,399 My foot IS broken. It's in plaster. 34 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,040 The evidence is irreFOOTable! 35 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,399 He's asleep, look! 36 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,478 Your indisposition is very frustrating, Fletcher. 37 00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:12,999 Not for me it isn't. Plenty of grub in 'ere. 38 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,999 Better beds! 39 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:20,078 Since you lost your soft library job, I was set to make your life a misery. 40 00:02:20,079 --> 00:02:24,599 I gathered that when you sent me up a 20-foot ladder. 41 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:28,078 Clean the pigeon droppings out the guttering! 42 00:02:28,079 --> 00:02:30,639 Did you fall intentionally? 43 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:32,559 Come on! 44 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:37,039 It's poetic justice. You was out to victimise me, 45 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,559 but you've given me the passport to comfort! 46 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,879 Mind you, I have to put up with Norris. 47 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:50,679 - That cuts both ways! - Shut it, or I'll hit you with my frying-pan! 48 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:53,839 Violence, violence! Quiet! 49 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,760 What's the matter? 50 00:02:55,761 --> 00:02:57,679 And you! 51 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,599 He's been on at me all afternoon, Mr Mackay. 52 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:07,519 I can't blame him for that. You are not the pleasantest of men! 53 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,039 In fact, you're horrible! 54 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,559 I've 'ad surgery! 55 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,399 Ingrowing toenail. Look! 56 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:19,159 I know the surgery I'D give you, Norris! 57 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:24,799 Couldn't wait till you got out! Had to overburden the medical system! 58 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:29,439 - That's what you're doing. - And whose fault is that? 59 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:34,919 Only four weeks - maximum! I'll soon have you up on your foot. 60 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,440 Not before it's mended! 61 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,199 You're in discomfort, are you? 62 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,679 - Not really. - Come on! It's giving you hell! 63 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:48,199 No! - Not even the odd twinge? 64 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:53,000 - Not now the plaster's on! No! - There's no justice! 65 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,159 And the next object is... 66 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,959 ..a thwarted screw! 67 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,120 A thwarted screw! 68 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,239 Oohh... 69 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,599 I'm in pain. 70 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,720 - Pardon? - I'm in pain. - Good! 71 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,239 Meals on wheels! 72 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,760 Look, here she comes. 73 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:30,999 Look, Blanco. What's on the menu, apart from gravy stains? 74 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:36,039 Braised steak, carrots, mashed potatoes, bananas and custard. 75 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:39,120 - What's for afters? - Tomato soup. 76 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,879 Hear that, Blanco? 77 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,399 Bananas and custard, mate. 78 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:50,839 - I've got no appetite. - You must eat. If you don't eat, you'll be ill. 79 00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,279 You are ill, ain't ya! 80 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:56,039 If he don't want his, I'll have it. 81 00:04:56,040 --> 00:05:00,879 No, you will not. Put it by his bed, Lennie. He can eat it later. 82 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,839 Or I will. 83 00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:06,039 - How are you, Fletch? - Fine. You? 84 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,559 - Not as comfy as you. - Yeah... 85 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,599 Lots of carrots. 86 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,839 Don't give him mine. 87 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,640 Shut up! 88 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,679 - Here you are, Fletch. - Ta. 89 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,199 That's looks good. 90 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,719 Here you are, Blanco. I'll leave it there. 91 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:27,239 - He don't look chipper. - He's fine. 92 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:30,759 - He's depressed. - He looks at death's door to me. 93 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,919 'Ere, shut up! 94 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,439 You don't talk about death in hospital. 95 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,320 Especially 96 00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:40,199 if you're at death's door like him. 97 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,639 That's a good one, Fletcher. 98 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,279 Well, you gotta laugh else you cry. 99 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:48,559 - You're cheery. - Life of Riley in here. 100 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:53,359 Nice day out yesterday. Carlisle hospital. Got plastered. 101 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,399 Lovely nurses down there, you know. 102 00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:00,279 Poking their 'eads round the door and things. 103 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:05,639 I was the villain, you see. Convict 99. Manacled to a wheelchair. 104 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:09,399 - Like Ironside, only bent! - Yeah, that's right. 105 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:13,719 Course, it's my air of villainy what titillated them. 106 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:17,239 Some had bigger titillations than others! 107 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,959 One ravishing West Indian sister... 108 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:24,480 - Len, you've had long enough fiddling with that. - That's what she said! 109 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:29,119 - Can I hear the end of this? - No. 110 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:33,319 - Tell me later. - It'll keep. - Sleep well. - Yeah. 111 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,839 It's so nice having the cell to myself. 112 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:39,759 It's so fresh without your feet! 113 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:43,359 - How d'you think we feel? - Shut up, Norris. 114 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:47,879 You'll be glad to get out of here, won't you, Norris? 115 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:52,519 You can be revolting to a larger number of people. 116 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:55,719 I'll be glad to see the back of him! 117 00:06:55,720 --> 00:07:01,439 I never had many possessions but, in three days, he's had them all! 118 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,719 Is this true? 119 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:08,479 He had me wireless, me silver snuffbox... Real silver... 120 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,879 Kept snout in it. He had me snout an' all. 121 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:15,159 - Is this true? - Yeah. Fair and square. 122 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:19,479 And me musical box what played Waltzing Matilda. 123 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,639 Well, make no mistake, he's gonna give 'em back. 124 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:27,079 Fair and square. It was cards, wasn't it? 125 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:31,839 - You never played cards with him? - Brag. Nine-card brag. 126 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:36,879 - Fair and square. - Give it back, Norris. - Like heck. 127 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,440 Next time, it'll be a full one! 128 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:48,079 Don't worry, Blanco. I'll get them back for you. 129 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:54,759 It doesn't matter. What do I need with a Waltzing Matilda musical box? 130 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,999 You've got another two years to do! 131 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,519 I'm going out of here sooner than that. 132 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,620 You can't escape. 133 00:08:04,621 --> 00:08:07,720 You're too old to go over the wall. 134 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:07,719 Stop watching Colditz! 135 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,639 I'm going out of here in a wooden overcoat. 136 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,599 Now, now. What kind of talk is that? 137 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:20,079 Me time's up, Fletch. I'm not going to stay the distance. 138 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,119 It's a tired heart, the doctor said. 139 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,119 Tired everything, more like. 140 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,079 Yes... I came in here to die. 141 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,999 You talk rubbish, don't ya? 142 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:36,119 You're not ready for celestial porridge, mate! 143 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,558 You're not old. 144 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,079 You look old. 145 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:45,119 That's porridge. Porridge puts years on a man. 146 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,559 It's well-known, that is. 147 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,999 You're 29, ain't ya? 148 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:55,679 - 63. - 63? That's not old. Most of the government's older than that! 149 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:59,639 Yeah, and look at the state the country's in. 150 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:04,479 Mind you, it weren't much better when I was a lad. 151 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,600 Depression... No work. 152 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,880 Took to stealing. 153 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,679 Such a waste. 154 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:18,920 You know, I spent nigh on half my life inside. 155 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,879 Lost all my family... 156 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,399 ..mostly through neglect... 157 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,039 ..mine. 158 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,559 That's why I'm resigned to passing on. 159 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:33,279 Well, more than that - relieved. 160 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:37,799 Now, listen, there's years of mileage left in you yet! 161 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,319 Look at Charlie Chaplin. 162 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:45,599 He was over 80 when he fathered his umpteenth child. 163 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:50,760 Winston Churchill was older than you when he had his finest hour. 164 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,399 As was my Uncle Wilfred. 165 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,079 Aye, what did he do, then? 166 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:04,119 When he was 72, he married this gorgeous, young dental assistant. 167 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,159 Course, it killed him. 168 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:13,719 You should have seen the smile on his face when they put him in his coffin, though. 169 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,479 Died with his boots off, then, did he? 170 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,999 Yeah... and his teeth out. 171 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:24,640 Couldn't get the coffin lid down for three days! 172 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:32,439 It's a question of how you feel. You're as young as you feel. 173 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,959 For instance, this old man went to the doctor. 174 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:40,999 He says, "My wife and I aren't getting any pleasure out of sex." 175 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,000 The doctor said, "How old are you?" 176 00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:44,999 "81." "81?" 177 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,039 "How old's your wife?" "79." "79?" 178 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:52,559 "And you're not getting any pleasure out of sex?" 179 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:57,640 "When did you first notice this?" "Twice last night and again today." 180 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,840 SNORING 181 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,760 COUGHING 182 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,200 Fletch. 183 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,599 Fletch. 184 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,120 - What...? - I want to talk to you. 185 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,439 What's the matter? 186 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:35,799 I wanted to tell you something while he's asleep... Is he asleep? 187 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,319 SNORING CONTINUES 188 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,919 Unless he snores while he's awake! 189 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:46,639 - You see, I've got something of value... - What do you mean? 190 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,039 You know I've got no family. I told you. 191 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:54,559 The few things I've got - well, Norris has them now - 192 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:58,399 but I've got one thing that I want to bequeath. 193 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,719 You being morbid? 194 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,239 Practical. 195 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:06,719 If owt happened, no-one would know about my legacy. 196 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:11,679 If you wanna make a will, Blanco, you gotta get a solicitor. 197 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:16,199 We've got one on our landing. He'll see you all right. 198 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:20,239 He's straight as a die. He'll be all right. 199 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,679 - What's his name? - Corkscrew Carter. 200 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:26,199 - Nice bloke. - Yes. 201 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:31,759 - The thing is, my legacy's not the sort you can legalise. - What is it? 202 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,519 Ill-gotten gains, buried in Leeds. 203 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,039 Ill-gotten gains. Say no more. 204 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:41,159 - Shall I tell you about it? - Not now... 205 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,199 - Well, it were like this... - Dear. 206 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:51,919 Three of us did a job on a wages van on its way to a fridge factory near Otley. Did you read about it? 207 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:55,439 - No. - It were all in the Yorkshire Post! 208 00:12:55,440 --> 00:13:00,079 Unless it made Titbits, I'd have missed it. 209 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:03,679 It was untidy. Lots of things went wrong... 210 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:06,239 You wouldn't be here otherwise. 211 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,999 Now, the other two were brothers. 212 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:13,040 There was Jack Barrett and Harry, er... 213 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,079 Barrett, was it? 214 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,600 That's right. Did you know him? 215 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,780 No, only through his brother, like, 216 00:13:23,781 --> 00:13:25,799 you know. 217 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:32,039 They escaped. They got away in a fishing boat from Bridlington. 218 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:38,560 Is this going to take long? My foot's gone to sleep. I'd like to follow it! 219 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:43,199 Not that they knew where the loot was! 220 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:47,719 Much as I'd like to stroll down felony lane with you... 221 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,919 Cos I was the one with the map. 222 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,239 It's bleedin' Treasure Island now! 223 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,840 £8,000. 224 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,839 How much? 225 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,119 - Eight thousand. - Eight big 'uns? 226 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:06,759 Aye. Maybe nine. 227 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,599 All in used notes. 228 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,199 Didn't have time to count it. 229 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:17,959 The paper said it were 15, but that was the company trying to do Lloyds! 230 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:22,520 I never realised the magnitude of your legacy. 231 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,560 The map's yours, Fletch. 232 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,639 I don't know what to say. 233 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,279 Words fail me, Blanco. 234 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:40,359 Tell you something, the money will be wisely spent, rest assured. 235 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,940 But, presuming that you don't snuff 236 00:14:43,941 --> 00:14:47,520 it, which we all hope and pray for, 237 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:47,519 that you don't, I mean, 238 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,200 on your release, you'll want 239 00:14:50,201 --> 00:14:52,879 the map back, I suppose, won't you? 240 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,879 If I do stay the distance, I suppose so, yeah. 241 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:01,399 - And you trust me to give it you back? - Course I do. 242 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:08,439 Do you know, in all my life, I don't think anyone's ever shown me that sort of trust - 243 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:12,479 probation officers, borstal principals, judges... 244 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:17,399 And yet, here's you, a man who hasn't known me very long, or... 245 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:23,399 ..or shared great intimacy at all, yet you're willing to trust me. 246 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,840 I am that, Fletch, 247 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,880 You must be bleedin' barmy! 248 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,199 GROANING 249 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:41,479 Who's that? Is that you, Norris? 250 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,119 Norris? 251 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:47,400 - What's happening? - I think I've been molested! 252 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,439 What is it? What is all this fuss? 253 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:58,959 - Thank heavens it's you! - Why, Fletcher? What's going on? What's the matter? 254 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:04,399 - What's going on? - Don't give me that, nerk! 255 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,118 Answer me! 256 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,078 I was awakened by a foreign hand. 257 00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:12,078 A foreign hand? 258 00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:14,598 Norris was over here. 259 00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:17,999 What were you up to, Norris, stealing? 260 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,879 No! 261 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:24,118 He was rummaging through my pyjamas! 262 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,880 Have you got any valuables there? 263 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:34,319 Only what I always keep in my pyjamas! 264 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,839 Perhaps he was after your Lemon and Barley. 265 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,440 In my pyjamas? Funny shaped bottle! 266 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:50,160 You get out in two days! You must be mad to risk losing remission by going back to your nasty habits. 267 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,399 Why do you believe Fletcher? 268 00:17:53,400 --> 00:18:00,279 He's not the sort to cry out in the night over nothing. And what could be worth stealing? 269 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,559 You're not hiding something, are you? 270 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,799 Hiding? 271 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,599 Like a bottle of surgical alcohol or something? 272 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,199 No, I'm not hiding anything, sir. 273 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:16,719 - I'd better have a look. - No. I want to get some sleep. 274 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,759 Fletcher. 275 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,799 - Let's look here. - Marvellous, innit? 276 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,060 Even on a sickbed, 277 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,319 we're subject to these indignities. 278 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,039 I want to get to the bottom of this. 279 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,399 You're on your way! 280 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:36,439 Well, I did think I'd get a bit of peace and quiet on this shift, 281 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:40,679 but there's always one of you up something. 282 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,799 God! 283 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,279 - God. - Where you going now? 284 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,520 It's just occurred to me 285 00:18:49,521 --> 00:18:52,760 that this little farce 286 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:52,759 has all the elements of diversion. 287 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:56,199 The entire wing's probably tunnelled out. 288 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,240 - Oi...! - What? - Lights! 289 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,919 He left the door unlocked! It's not good enough. 290 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,440 A burglar could walk straight in here. 291 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,679 There you are, Blanco. Nice bit of marmalade. 292 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,439 What's new in the outside world? 293 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:32,159 Mackay's in a rotten mood, Villa drew at home, 294 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:37,159 the water's working if you're quick and it's cauliflower for supper. 295 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,879 See, you miss it all in here. 296 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,439 I missed out the boring bits. 297 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:47,479 'Ere on your way back, would you get me a newspaper? The Sun. 298 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,000 And something to read, an' all. 299 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,319 I finished them two, see. 300 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,639 Um... 301 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:03,359 If you would carefully put those books back in the cell for me? 302 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:07,439 I don't want the nerks to find out about them. 303 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,959 Come on, Godber. 304 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,800 - Cheerio, Fletch. - Drive carefully. 305 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:21,999 - How's your breakfast, Blanco? - I've had worse. 306 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:26,599 - I'll have his! - All down your front, you will! 307 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,079 Listen, you two. I'd like a word. 308 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,599 I'll come straight to the point. 309 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,639 It's about last night. I was awake. 310 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,679 I heard! 311 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,719 Heard what? 312 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,799 About the map. 313 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,239 What map is this, then? 314 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,759 Stop peeing around, Fletcher. 315 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,799 'Ere, listen, you could cut me in. 316 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,319 What are you talking about? 317 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:54,079 I'm talking about the map. 318 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,439 The buried gelt! 319 00:20:56,440 --> 00:21:01,159 - Why should we cut you in? - See! There is a map! 320 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,599 All right, there's a map! 321 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,119 All right... OI! 322 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:09,399 As he says, why should we cut you in? 323 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,919 - Cos I'm going out tomorrow. - So? 324 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,759 Because you don't get out for three years! 325 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:22,279 Anything could happen to it. They could find it, or build a car park on top of it! 326 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:27,639 I can keep it safe for you. Put it in the building society! 327 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:32,879 I know you! You'd invest it in brighter future for yourself. 328 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,359 There wouldn't be any left for us. 329 00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:40,839 You'd spend it on wining and dining northern tarts in night-clubs. 330 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,359 Yeah! 331 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:45,639 That's what I'd planned to do with it. 332 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:49,759 Well, you're entitled. It's your money! 333 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,999 If he snuffs it, you'll cop it all! 334 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,799 I'm his chosen benefactor, mate! 335 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,060 You're just someone he can't stand, 336 00:21:59,061 --> 00:22:02,320 and who diddled him 337 00:21:55,800 --> 00:22:02,319 out of his possessions - 338 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,199 like his little Matilda what spins. 339 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:10,359 But, if you can find the map, I'll cut you in. There you are. 340 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:16,239 - But... - It's all right. I can't move out of this room, can I? 341 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,759 Yeah... 342 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:23,239 - That's a deal? - Yeah, but you must find it first. 343 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:27,199 I reckon I know where you where you hid it. 344 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,720 - You ain't clever enough. - Yeah? 345 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,079 No! AAAHHH! 346 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,200 NURSE! 347 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,839 Godber... 348 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:08,199 Hello, Norris, come to say your goodbyes have you...? Goodbye! 349 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,120 No, no. it's Fletch. You know 350 00:23:12,121 --> 00:23:16,040 them books he give you, did he leave 351 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:16,039 a bit of paper in them by mistake? 352 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:20,999 - Why? - Well, he wanted them and I thought I'd just take them for him. 353 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,519 Paper? 354 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,959 - It's meaningless. - So why do you want it? 355 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,439 I dunno. It's meaningless. 356 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,079 Meaningless, is it? 357 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,599 - Was there a bit of paper here? - Maybe. 358 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,639 'Ere, listen, Godber... I mean Lennie, 359 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:43,159 How would you like to make some real money? On the outside? 360 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,959 Well, it's no use to me inside! 361 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:49,479 I got all my gear on the inside. 362 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,039 And my snout, too. 363 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,679 - What? For a piece of paper? - Ask no questions. 364 00:23:55,680 --> 00:24:01,719 You mean, ask no questions because this whatever it is belongs to Fletcher. 365 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,399 This is all behind his back! 366 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,159 Listen, don't you worry about him! 367 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,680 He only worries about number one. 368 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,799 I'm offering you all my back pay. 369 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,839 - And my snout. - Fletcher is my mate. 370 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:21,439 I've got an antique snuffbox - worth a lot of money. 371 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,880 - He's been good to me. - A music box. 372 00:24:23,881 --> 00:24:26,319 Plays Waltzing Matilda. 373 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,799 Now, look here, Norris... 374 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:33,639 contrary to popular belief, we're not all without scruples. 375 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:38,679 Friendship! You can't buy that. Fletcher's shown me a lot of that. 376 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,719 Japanese radio? 377 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,240 All right, done! 378 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,519 Here he comes, 379 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,860 Judas! 380 00:25:16,861 --> 00:25:19,199 The Judas Iscariot of Slade Prison. 381 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:27,200 - I don't know how he dare show his face. - You betrayed us to Norris. - I did! 382 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,679 - Yes! Did it work? - Like a charm. - Yes! 383 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:39,199 What have we here? A silver snuff-holder, a Japanese radio, and one Australian music box. 384 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,759 With all thy worldly goods, we thee endow. 385 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,880 Lads... lads. 386 00:25:44,881 --> 00:25:46,999 "WALTZING MATILDA" PLAYS 387 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:51,239 'Ere, what happened to the extra snout? 388 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:57,039 - Too much to bring. - We'll split the backpay! - When did you cook this up? 389 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,839 That afternoon when he was bathing. 390 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,079 He believes it. 391 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:08,439 It's him. Great acting! Course we knew Norris would be earwigging. 392 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:15,959 - Do you think he'll go straight there? - Yes. The best is yet to come. - He'll be in Leeds by midday. 393 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,799 Then he'll go and buy a shovel. 394 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:23,879 He'll lie low this afternoon. Won't go till everyone's gone. 395 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:28,800 We must listen to your radio later. There might be a report on the news. 396 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:46,479 A man was apprehended while removing a section of turf from the pitch. 397 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:50,120 'He was a horticulturist of no fixed abode.' 30577

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.