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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,919
'Norman Stanley Fletcher...
2
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:12,759
'You have pleaded guilty to the charges brought
and it is now my duty to pass sentence...
3
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:20,439
'You are a habitual criminal who
accepts arrest as an occupational hazard,
4
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:26,439
'and presumably accepts
imprisonment in the same casual manner.
5
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:31,919
'We therefore commit you
to the maximum term allowed.
6
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:35,240
'You will go to prison for 5 years.'
7
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,200
Sorry, mate.
8
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,400
- ♪ - Born free...
9
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,120
- ♪ - Till somebody caught me...
10
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,719
- ♪ - Now I'm doing solitre-e-e... - ♪
11
00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:27,879
- Got any chewing gum? - Never use it.
- Aw, come on, you mean old scroat.
12
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:33,639
All right. Here's a little bit.
Don't eat it all at once.
13
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,959
Ta Gonna watch the game?
14
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:44,879
- No! - Be a good game. - That bloodbath? - If we win, we
win the trophy. - What trophy? - It's a silver cup.
15
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,820
It WAS a silver cup.
16
00:01:47,821 --> 00:01:50,758
- Until it disappeared. - Who did that?
17
00:01:50,759 --> 00:01:54,519
I dunno. There's 600 suspects.
18
00:01:54,520 --> 00:02:01,079
- Be melted down by now. - Play for fun.
- You should watch. It's your wing.
19
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:07,039
It's NOT. I'm just incarcerated
here. At Her Majesty's pleasure.
20
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,640
It's not your wing either.
21
00:02:10,641 --> 00:02:14,240
Why the Tom Brown's Schooldays bit?
22
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:14,239
Tom Black's Schooldays, maybe.
23
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:21,479
Out there, I'm playing for Morton, against
Celtic. At Hampden. And we STUFF them!
24
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:25,479
I've no time to watch people
get stuffed.
25
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,839
- Got visitors? - No.
26
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:31,660
NO!
27
00:02:31,661 --> 00:02:35,480
- Watching the box? - No. Wrong 3 times.
28
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:35,479
What are you doing then?
29
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,399
I'm going fox-hunting.
30
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:44,879
You've got 5 years, Fletch.
You've got to do SOMETHING.
31
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,420
Listen, Sonny Jock!
32
00:02:47,421 --> 00:02:49,959
Don't tell me how to pass my time.
33
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:56,159
I was doing time when you were
stealing mangoes on the plantation.
34
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,639
I was brought up in Greenock!
35
00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:02,999
Stealing mangoes in Greenock then.
36
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,919
It's beautiful out there as well.
37
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:11,399
It's beautiful in here as well.
Cos all you blokes are outside.
38
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:18,439
You're playing football, others are gambling,
or indulging in their pathetic hobbies,
39
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,078
which leaves me some peace.
40
00:03:21,079 --> 00:03:25,839
Go on then, enjoy your game.
Take no prisoners.
41
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:30,679
Now then... where's me tea?
42
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:37,959
- ♪ - I believe for every drop
of rain that falls... - ♪
43
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:43,839
- What are you doing? - We want to play
ping-pong. - I'm not stopping you.
44
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:49,879
- Well, there aren't any balls, like.
Somebody said you had one. - Who?
45
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:54,679
That bloke with no ears.
Lugless Douglas.
46
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,679
- Who told Lugless Douglas?
- He just heard.
47
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,800
He what?!
48
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:06,119
- Is it true?
- I've got a ball hidden away, yes.
49
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,839
Would you lend us it?
50
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:14,279
Let's discuss the possibility of a
lease.
51
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,879
- How much is it then? - One snout.
52
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,759
Per hour.
53
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:25,119
- Minimum 3 hours.
- You're a hard man, Fletch.
54
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:29,639
No, I'm not.
I'm just taking advantage of it.
55
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:35,679
Harry Grout's syndicate would make
you leave your watch as a deposit.
56
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:41,359
If you failed to return the ball,
your watch would get trod on.
57
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:45,879
- All right. You're on.
- Got any thinner ones?!
58
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:49,479
- It's good shag, honest! - All right.
59
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,479
Thank you very much.
60
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:55,880
- Where's the ball then?
- Yes! Sorry.
61
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,079
It's a funny colour.
62
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,799
I got it off McLaren.
63
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:11,079
- Do you want a game later?
- Certainly not!
64
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:16,719
- Helps to pass the time.
- I don't WANT any help with that.
65
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,319
Next?
66
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,959
- Fletcher? - Yes?
67
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:25,999
- Some of us have formed
a drama group. - YES...?
68
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:31,199
- Do you have any theatrical
inclinations? - No.
69
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,279
You don't necessarily have to act.
70
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:37,839
You could work the wind machine.
71
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,860
Wind machine?! Enlist Ives.
72
00:05:40,861 --> 00:05:43,879
He's a walking wind machine, he is.
73
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:49,039
We want to do contemporary plays.
A thriller, perhaps.
74
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:53,599
"Wait until Dark".
Audrey Hepburn was in the film.
75
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,759
I couldn't slim down in time.
76
00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:01,479
It's prompters and lighting men,
WE need.
77
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:07,439
I don't really go for the theatre.
Now if you were doing a musical...
78
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:11,639
I used to do a lot of singing
round the pubs.
79
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:18,879
"Ladiez and gennelmen, lez have a round
of applause for FRANKIE FLETCHER!"
80
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:26,039
My name is really Norman Fletcher, but I called
myself Frankie, because it's more - showbiz.
81
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:32,439
I was backed by Ted Prendergast
and the Organaires. Remember him?
82
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:40,399
- No. - You MUST do! He was on Workers' Playtime
once. A cardboard factory at Letchworth.
83
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:45,479
- I don't remember.
- It folded soon after that.
84
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:53,359
- We used to do: - ♪ - See the pyramids across the
Nile, See the sunrise on a tropic isle. - ♪
85
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:59,759
- We're NOT doing a concert party.
- Well, naff off then, Sir Laurence.
86
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:05,719
- It might have relieved the boredom.
- It will go when YOU leave. - Thanks!
87
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:12,200
Give my love to Audrey Hepburn!
What a raver. Audrey Hepburn...
88
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,879
- How lovely.
- ♪ - Time on my hands...
89
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:20,880
- ♪ - You in my arms... - ♪
90
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,320
What are you looking at?
91
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,480
All right, I give up.
92
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,719
Hey up! - It's you, Blanco!
93
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,759
Please explain, dear.
94
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:48,959
It's Muffin the Mule.
Him what's on TV.
95
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:52,480
When did YOU last watch television?
96
00:07:52,481 --> 00:07:56,000
Some time back. I've been too busy
97
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:55,999
making him.
98
00:07:56,000 --> 00:08:01,519
I see what you mean. Lovely.
But why did you bring him here?
99
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:08,799
I've just finished him. I wanted you to be the
first to see him. Taken me nigh on 15 years.
100
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:13,720
Fifteen years?!
Still, worth it though.
101
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:19,359
Now he's done, I'm at a loose end.
102
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:24,359
Expect you are. You could study.
Improve your mind.
103
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:28,439
I once studied a book
called "Memory Training".
104
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,479
I can't remember where I left it.
105
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,959
Smoke yourself to death instead.
106
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,359
- Bless you, Fletch! - All right.
107
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:44,239
Muffin was for my 3 year old niece,
but she's grown up a bit now.
108
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,840
She's an air hostess.
109
00:08:46,841 --> 00:08:49,439
Never thought it would take so long.
110
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,260
Time flies when you're having fun.
111
00:08:51,261 --> 00:08:53,079
Yeah...
112
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:56,919
Cor...! Can I borrow your magazine?
113
00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:01,959
- No! - Now I've finished Muffin,
I want to catch up on my reading.
114
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:09,480
Read something LESS controversial. Remember
the old blood pressure. Try the Radio Times.
115
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:17,119
- Do you fancy a Jaffa Cake? - Yes.
- Let's see what Providence has got.
116
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:22,199
- I'll just get my boots on. - Right.
- Walkies, Muffin...
117
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,800
or rather... wheelies!
118
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,600
MUFFIN RATTLES NOISILY
119
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:49,799
KNOCK ON DOOR
120
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,839
What is it?
121
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,360
Sorry to disturb you, Mr Collinson.
122
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:58,880
I can see how busy you are,
123
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:58,879
but it's old Blanco.
124
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:04,919
- He's just finished his animal
and he'd like you to see it. - ...
125
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:11,960
- All right. - Thank you, sir. Very, very,
very good of you, sir. Thank you very much.
126
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:17,239
This is the... mule,
is it, Blanco?
127
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,439
Aye, sir.
15 years, sir.
128
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:26,279
It was worth it. You don't often
see craftsmanship of that quality.
129
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:30,799
Thank you, sir.
Nice of you to say so.
130
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,079
Off you go then.
131
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:40,279
Thanks very much, Mr Collinson. A word from
a man like yourself - much appreciated.
132
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,360
All right.
133
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,960
Here...
134
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:56,039
- You ARE a lad, Fletch!
- Say no more.
135
00:10:56,040 --> 00:11:02,239
- I say, sorry if I disturbed you.
- Any time for you, Blanco. - Ta.
136
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:07,319
Well, I think I'll go down
and watch a bit of Grandstand.
137
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:13,359
While you're there, put the word
around that I'm incommunicado.
138
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:19,560
- You're in the where?
- I don't wish to be disturbed.
139
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,880
Right... we'll tell 'em.
140
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,600
We'll tell 'em
141
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:41,880
I'm back, darling.
142
00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,680
< POLITE COUGH
143
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,239
Yes?
144
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,439
Fletcher!
145
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,520
Mr Barrowclough, please lock me in,
146
00:12:06,521 --> 00:12:09,599
so I can get some privacy.
147
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,839
On a LOVELY afternoon like this?
Dear me!
148
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:19,879
I thought you'd be out in the yard.
Seems a waste to be stuck inside.
149
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,860
It's NOT a waste to me!
150
00:12:22,861 --> 00:12:25,839
I LIKE being stuck inside, reading.
151
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,860
I don't WANT to play games.
152
00:12:28,861 --> 00:12:31,879
OR make toys or play the saxophone.
153
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:38,319
Or join the amateur drama group.
Or watch the Blue Lamp on BBC 2...
154
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:44,279
a film glamorising that bunch
who put me here in the first place!
155
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:50,199
It's better than lying on your bunk
reading lewd, lascivious rubbish!
156
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:55,279
If a man puts his mind to it,
he can better himself in here.
157
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:59,199
There's far more opportunities now.
158
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:05,600
Take Spraggon. He's made a 6-foot
rocket from milk bottle tops.
159
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,199
Really?
160
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:17,399
It's a work of art, you know.
He's done it in 3 colours.
161
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:23,439
The nose cone is red - homogenised,
the bulk is made out of silver top,
162
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:27,799
and the Governor's gold top
made a nice motif.
163
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:33,479
Tell Spraggon from me,
he'll never get it off the ground.
164
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:38,999
Rafferty is having his watercolours
exhibited in an art gallery.
165
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:44,079
And you can get professional
qualifications in here.
166
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:49,119
Even the Tooley brothers left
with a diploma in welding.
167
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:55,679
Yeah. Then they welded their way
into Barclays Bank in Blackburn.
168
00:13:55,680 --> 00:14:02,639
But we gave them an opportunity to
do something legitimate with their lives.
169
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:08,879
They only abuse the opportunity.
They ARE felons, Mr Barrowclough!
170
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:12,679
You teach someone how to use
a printing press.
171
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:17,679
Does he join the
Northern Echo? Fairycakes.
172
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:21,679
He stays at home
and forges premium bonds.
173
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,439
I can't accept your cynicism.
174
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:31,479
I just don't like seeing someone with a good
brain wasting his time. You should do something!
175
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:37,559
- Is that the end of the lecture?
- I didn't come to lecture you.
176
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:41,599
What DID you come in for?
We never found out.
177
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:46,600
I just dropped in
because I had nothing better to do.
178
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:53,719
Would you Adam and Eve it!
Your lives are emptier than ours!
179
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,039
I've got my allotment.
180
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:59,720
If you want to do something for us,
181
00:14:59,721 --> 00:15:03,400
give us more freedom, better grub,
182
00:14:56,040 --> 00:15:03,399
conjugal visits.
183
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,160
What?
184
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:10,319
Conjugals.
From the Latin "conjugari" -
185
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,839
meaning "to have it away".
186
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,479
We couldn't do that!
187
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:21,679
With our old ladies! It's all
above board, Bristol fashion.
188
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,399
The wife stays for the weekend
in special apartments
189
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:29,720
where we can
manifest our long felt wants.
190
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:38,119
- I don't know any prisons where...
- Not here, in Holland and America.
191
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,340
You mean the wives just visit and...
192
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:44,559
spend the whole weekend...?
193
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,759
Conjugating, yeah.
194
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:52,800
That's more than I'm allowed
at home.
195
00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,439
Mr Barrowclough!
196
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,039
Aye?
197
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,879
Your need is greater than mine.
198
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,879
Certainly not, Fletcher!
199
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,240
Ha, ha, ha...!
200
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,359
Now, this is
a typical cell block.
201
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,880
↑ Why do you have the nets?
202
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:34,160
Suicide, ma'am...
Prevention of.
203
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,399
Do you have many instances of that?
204
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,679
Certainly not, ma'am.
205
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,679
It's against the rules.
206
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:48,240
I suppose it's also useful if anyone
207
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:51,800
gets violent and throws each other
208
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:51,799
over the edge.
209
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:58,479
- They generally throw US over! - Is
there a bad record of violence here?
210
00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:03,519
No. Because we encourage
a wide range of activities.
211
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,439
This helps them express themselves.
212
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:11,799
Releases the pent-up expression
endemic to the incarcerated male.
213
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,719
↑
Is that what they're doing now?
214
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,680
Absolutely. Every prisoner
215
00:17:18,681 --> 00:17:22,640
has seized the opportunity to enjoy
216
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:22,640
the extensive facilities available.
217
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:31,199
There are always some exceptions,
of course.
218
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,520
May we look inside a cell?
219
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,560
Certainly, ma'am.
220
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,220
Is this man sick?
221
00:17:50,221 --> 00:17:52,239
Are you sick, Fletcher?
222
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,400
I'm sick of bleeding interruptions!
223
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,519
Please, this man's trying
to relax.
224
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,999
No. Be my guest.
225
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,920
Please don't get up.
226
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:11,440
- Now, this is a typical cell.
- Single or double?
227
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,600
Double.
As indicated by the two bunks.
228
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:24,119
Prisoners are allowed
to personalise their cells.
229
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,159
You notice the radio and the...
230
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,240
..matches.
231
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:36,479
They're allowed to decorate their
lockers with mementos of family
232
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,560
and home.
233
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,000
Those two are the wife,
234
00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:47,519
and that one is the wife's sister.
235
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:53,439
Yes, well, maybe you would like
to see the recreation room now.
236
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,279
We ARE disturbing his privacy.
237
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,880
- Privacy?! - Fletcher!
238
00:18:58,881 --> 00:19:01,479
Please! Let the man speak!
239
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:09,479
Have you noticed any privacy here? Seen a door
without a peephole? A cubicle door in the latrines?
240
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:15,079
It's an affront to your dignity
when you're sitting on the bog
241
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,720
and the football team goes past.
242
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,319
Yes... well...
243
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,319
Yes... Well, you've had some,
ain't you?
244
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:28,839
Notice the way Mr Mackay
just BURST in here.
245
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:33,279
He paid no more attention
to me than he did that wash basin.
246
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:39,039
Privacy is a privilege you forfeit
when you transgress the law.
247
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:45,079
This is NOT an hotel. They forget
that they're here to be punished.
248
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,120
Eye for an eye. Tooth for a nail.
249
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:56,039
- You sound like a Londoner. - I am.
- What's a Londoner doing up here?
250
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,999
Five years. What are you doing?
251
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,799
- Fletcher! - No, no. Fair question.
252
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:09,919
We're all from the Home Office and we learn
more about our penal system from these visits.
253
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:17,119
Only by talking to people like you are we able
to make recommendations for change and reform.
254
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:23,079
Change? A new coat of paint, maybe.
But reform - just don't bother.
255
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:27,199
His opinion
is not very instructive.
256
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:33,039
I've been in more prisons than him
so whose opinion is instructive?
257
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:36,879
- I would value it. - I bet you would.
258
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,919
I see what you mean.
259
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:44,519
In my opinion, you can't have
a total amnesty.
260
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:48,399
You've got to lock away the hard
cases.
261
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:53,439
But with the rest of us,
do what they do in Scandinavia.
262
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,820
Make us WORK off our debt
263
00:20:56,821 --> 00:21:00,199
to society. On farms, hospitals...
264
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,279
One school of thought.
265
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,639
I think he has
confirmed our ideas.
266
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:11,279
- What?! - I can see this system
working with men like you.
267
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:15,159
What area would YOU like
to work in?
268
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:20,319
- I'd choose the building site.
- The fresh air.
269
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:24,920
Yes... but mainly because
I could nick a fortune.
270
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:27,919
Cor...!
271
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:32,959
- Recreation room next?
- Hopeless case. Classic recidivist.
272
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,480
Bit of a surly chap.
273
00:21:34,481 --> 00:21:35,999
But articulate.
274
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,040
Like a lorry!
275
00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:47,960
Is there anybody else?
276
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:07,919
- 'Scuse me. - What is it now?
- Were you asleep?
277
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,400
Asleep?!
278
00:22:11,401 --> 00:22:14,880
It'd be easier at Waterloo station.
279
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:14,879
Just leave me ALONE!
280
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:20,040
Sorry.
But your ball's got a crack in it.
281
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,479
- Pardon? - Cracked.
282
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:28,839
Better than no balls at all, mate!
283
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:32,640
- It spoilt the game. - Here!
284
00:22:32,641 --> 00:22:36,440
- I'll take that fag back. - No!
285
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:36,439
You should have examined the ball!
286
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:41,479
- That's not fair. - FAIR?!
When is life fair?
287
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,320
Is it fair that I should be
288
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:47,159
continually bombarded with people?
289
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:50,680
Saturday afternoon is a few sacred
290
00:22:50,681 --> 00:22:54,200
hours when we can all enjoy
291
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:54,199
our own company.
292
00:22:54,200 --> 00:23:01,279
It only lasts till teatime, when we'll eat
that rubbish masquerading as cottage pie.
293
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,400
When will you learn that surviving
294
00:23:04,401 --> 00:23:07,519
in stir is a state of mind?
295
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,440
It's learning to live with yourself.
296
00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:17,279
Sorry, Fletch.
297
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:21,200
Come on, Warren.
I like you, baby!
298
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,839
Sometimes I crave your company.
299
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:32,719
I love your anecdotes of the days
you worked in that ironmongers in Bury.
300
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,959
Bolton.
301
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:41,439
Even better! I was very eager
to see those snaps your wife took
302
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,519
on her day trip to Lake Windermere.
303
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:47,119
- I've got some more. - Gawd!
304
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:51,320
- They didn't come out too well.
- Just put them on the table, Warren.
305
00:23:53,040 --> 00:24:00,799
- They'll help me while away a pleasant evening. -
Right, Fletch. I'll not disturb you no more.
306
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:05,839
- Promise? - Yeah.
- Here, do you PROMISE?
307
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,320
- I promise. - Right.
308
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,560
God...
309
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,560
God...
310
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:32,159
God! It may seem a bit
of a liberty me asking you favours.
311
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:38,839
But there is no more joy in Heaven
than when a sinner repenteth.
312
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:42,360
It's only a little thing I ask.
313
00:24:42,361 --> 00:24:45,880
Just keep these nurks off my back,
314
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:45,879
will you?
315
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:49,680
If anyone else comes in, I won't be
316
00:24:49,681 --> 00:24:53,480
answerable for the consequences!
317
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:53,479
Know what I mean, God?
318
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,480
Fletch!
319
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:02,400
I've been meaning to talk to you.
320
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,799
Left, right, left, right...!
321
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:17,960
Left, right. HALT!
Face the front! Stand still!
322
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,839
For the chop.
323
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,280
You know that. NO exit!
324
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:39,039
Whenever I have any doubts about the system,
it's people like you that reassure me.
325
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,719
In the final analysis,
326
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:49,640
your criminal character will always
show through. Like ink on blotting paper.
327
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:57,040
- Hello, Mr Mackay.
- Yes. Fletcher, sir.
328
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,919
Sorry to drag you away
from the game, sir.
329
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:06,119
Not at all.
This is a very serious matter!
330
00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:13,519
- Did the Home Office visitors see the incident? -
No, sir. They were in the woodwork room.
331
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,719
FACE THE FRONT!
332
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,319
- Did anyone else witness it? - No, sir.
333
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:29,279
Well, only old Blanco Webb.
And Mr Collinson heard the screams.
334
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:35,199
- Fletcher, what's got into you?
- Face the front! - I'm talking to you!
335
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:42,479
Everyone's talking to me! I'm going mad! I'd
like to have psychiatric observation, sir.
336
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,879
- Well, I... - No, you don't!
337
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,780
An unprovoked assault, sir.
338
00:26:49,781 --> 00:26:53,680
Slade Prison has never known
339
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:53,680
a chaplain thrown over the balcony.
340
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:58,399
I knew the safety net was there.
341
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,639
The chaplain was shattered!
342
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:05,199
He'll bounce back, sir.
343
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,239
Well, he did a bit.
344
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,879
Don't be insolent, Fletcher!
345
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:14,519
I have no alternative but to
sentence you to the maximum period
346
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:18,839
of solitary confinement.
347
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,079
Sir.
348
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:25,119
It's your own fault. You have
a very regrettable attitude.
349
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:29,999
Perhaps you'll dwell on that
over the next three days.
350
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:36,159
- Three days? - Yes!
- Can I ask one thing? - What?
351
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,800
Could you make it a fortnight?
28344
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