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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,919 'Norman Stanley Fletcher... 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:12,759 'You have pleaded guilty to the charges brought and it is now my duty to pass sentence... 3 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:20,439 'You are a habitual criminal who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard, 4 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:26,439 'and presumably accepts imprisonment in the same casual manner. 5 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:31,919 'We therefore commit you to the maximum term allowed. 6 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:35,240 'You will go to prison for 5 years.' 7 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,200 Sorry, mate. 8 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,400 - ♪ - Born free... 9 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,120 - ♪ - Till somebody caught me... 10 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,719 - ♪ - Now I'm doing solitre-e-e... - ♪ 11 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:27,879 - Got any chewing gum? - Never use it. - Aw, come on, you mean old scroat. 12 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:33,639 All right. Here's a little bit. Don't eat it all at once. 13 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,959 Ta Gonna watch the game? 14 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:44,879 - No! - Be a good game. - That bloodbath? - If we win, we win the trophy. - What trophy? - It's a silver cup. 15 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,820 It WAS a silver cup. 16 00:01:47,821 --> 00:01:50,758 - Until it disappeared. - Who did that? 17 00:01:50,759 --> 00:01:54,519 I dunno. There's 600 suspects. 18 00:01:54,520 --> 00:02:01,079 - Be melted down by now. - Play for fun. - You should watch. It's your wing. 19 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:07,039 It's NOT. I'm just incarcerated here. At Her Majesty's pleasure. 20 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,640 It's not your wing either. 21 00:02:10,641 --> 00:02:14,240 Why the Tom Brown's Schooldays bit? 22 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:14,239 Tom Black's Schooldays, maybe. 23 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:21,479 Out there, I'm playing for Morton, against Celtic. At Hampden. And we STUFF them! 24 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:25,479 I've no time to watch people get stuffed. 25 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,839 - Got visitors? - No. 26 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:31,660 NO! 27 00:02:31,661 --> 00:02:35,480 - Watching the box? - No. Wrong 3 times. 28 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:35,479 What are you doing then? 29 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,399 I'm going fox-hunting. 30 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:44,879 You've got 5 years, Fletch. You've got to do SOMETHING. 31 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,420 Listen, Sonny Jock! 32 00:02:47,421 --> 00:02:49,959 Don't tell me how to pass my time. 33 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:56,159 I was doing time when you were stealing mangoes on the plantation. 34 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,639 I was brought up in Greenock! 35 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:02,999 Stealing mangoes in Greenock then. 36 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,919 It's beautiful out there as well. 37 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:11,399 It's beautiful in here as well. Cos all you blokes are outside. 38 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:18,439 You're playing football, others are gambling, or indulging in their pathetic hobbies, 39 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,078 which leaves me some peace. 40 00:03:21,079 --> 00:03:25,839 Go on then, enjoy your game. Take no prisoners. 41 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:30,679 Now then... where's me tea? 42 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:37,959 - ♪ - I believe for every drop of rain that falls... - ♪ 43 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:43,839 - What are you doing? - We want to play ping-pong. - I'm not stopping you. 44 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:49,879 - Well, there aren't any balls, like. Somebody said you had one. - Who? 45 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:54,679 That bloke with no ears. Lugless Douglas. 46 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,679 - Who told Lugless Douglas? - He just heard. 47 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,800 He what?! 48 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:06,119 - Is it true? - I've got a ball hidden away, yes. 49 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,839 Would you lend us it? 50 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:14,279 Let's discuss the possibility of a lease. 51 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,879 - How much is it then? - One snout. 52 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,759 Per hour. 53 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:25,119 - Minimum 3 hours. - You're a hard man, Fletch. 54 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:29,639 No, I'm not. I'm just taking advantage of it. 55 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:35,679 Harry Grout's syndicate would make you leave your watch as a deposit. 56 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:41,359 If you failed to return the ball, your watch would get trod on. 57 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:45,879 - All right. You're on. - Got any thinner ones?! 58 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:49,479 - It's good shag, honest! - All right. 59 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,479 Thank you very much. 60 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:55,880 - Where's the ball then? - Yes! Sorry. 61 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,079 It's a funny colour. 62 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,799 I got it off McLaren. 63 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:11,079 - Do you want a game later? - Certainly not! 64 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:16,719 - Helps to pass the time. - I don't WANT any help with that. 65 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,319 Next? 66 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,959 - Fletcher? - Yes? 67 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:25,999 - Some of us have formed a drama group. - YES...? 68 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:31,199 - Do you have any theatrical inclinations? - No. 69 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,279 You don't necessarily have to act. 70 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:37,839 You could work the wind machine. 71 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,860 Wind machine?! Enlist Ives. 72 00:05:40,861 --> 00:05:43,879 He's a walking wind machine, he is. 73 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:49,039 We want to do contemporary plays. A thriller, perhaps. 74 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:53,599 "Wait until Dark". Audrey Hepburn was in the film. 75 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,759 I couldn't slim down in time. 76 00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:01,479 It's prompters and lighting men, WE need. 77 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:07,439 I don't really go for the theatre. Now if you were doing a musical... 78 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:11,639 I used to do a lot of singing round the pubs. 79 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:18,879 "Ladiez and gennelmen, lez have a round of applause for FRANKIE FLETCHER!" 80 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:26,039 My name is really Norman Fletcher, but I called myself Frankie, because it's more - showbiz. 81 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:32,439 I was backed by Ted Prendergast and the Organaires. Remember him? 82 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:40,399 - No. - You MUST do! He was on Workers' Playtime once. A cardboard factory at Letchworth. 83 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:45,479 - I don't remember. - It folded soon after that. 84 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:53,359 - We used to do: - ♪ - See the pyramids across the Nile, See the sunrise on a tropic isle. - ♪ 85 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:59,759 - We're NOT doing a concert party. - Well, naff off then, Sir Laurence. 86 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:05,719 - It might have relieved the boredom. - It will go when YOU leave. - Thanks! 87 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:12,200 Give my love to Audrey Hepburn! What a raver. Audrey Hepburn... 88 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,879 - How lovely. - ♪ - Time on my hands... 89 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:20,880 - ♪ - You in my arms... - ♪ 90 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,320 What are you looking at? 91 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,480 All right, I give up. 92 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,719 Hey up! - It's you, Blanco! 93 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,759 Please explain, dear. 94 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:48,959 It's Muffin the Mule. Him what's on TV. 95 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:52,480 When did YOU last watch television? 96 00:07:52,481 --> 00:07:56,000 Some time back. I've been too busy 97 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:55,999 making him. 98 00:07:56,000 --> 00:08:01,519 I see what you mean. Lovely. But why did you bring him here? 99 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:08,799 I've just finished him. I wanted you to be the first to see him. Taken me nigh on 15 years. 100 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:13,720 Fifteen years?! Still, worth it though. 101 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:19,359 Now he's done, I'm at a loose end. 102 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:24,359 Expect you are. You could study. Improve your mind. 103 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:28,439 I once studied a book called "Memory Training". 104 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,479 I can't remember where I left it. 105 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,959 Smoke yourself to death instead. 106 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,359 - Bless you, Fletch! - All right. 107 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:44,239 Muffin was for my 3 year old niece, but she's grown up a bit now. 108 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,840 She's an air hostess. 109 00:08:46,841 --> 00:08:49,439 Never thought it would take so long. 110 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,260 Time flies when you're having fun. 111 00:08:51,261 --> 00:08:53,079 Yeah... 112 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:56,919 Cor...! Can I borrow your magazine? 113 00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:01,959 - No! - Now I've finished Muffin, I want to catch up on my reading. 114 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:09,480 Read something LESS controversial. Remember the old blood pressure. Try the Radio Times. 115 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:17,119 - Do you fancy a Jaffa Cake? - Yes. - Let's see what Providence has got. 116 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:22,199 - I'll just get my boots on. - Right. - Walkies, Muffin... 117 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,800 or rather... wheelies! 118 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,600 MUFFIN RATTLES NOISILY 119 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:49,799 KNOCK ON DOOR 120 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,839 What is it? 121 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,360 Sorry to disturb you, Mr Collinson. 122 00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:58,880 I can see how busy you are, 123 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:58,879 but it's old Blanco. 124 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:04,919 - He's just finished his animal and he'd like you to see it. - ... 125 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:11,960 - All right. - Thank you, sir. Very, very, very good of you, sir. Thank you very much. 126 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:17,239 This is the... mule, is it, Blanco? 127 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,439 Aye, sir. 15 years, sir. 128 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:26,279 It was worth it. You don't often see craftsmanship of that quality. 129 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:30,799 Thank you, sir. Nice of you to say so. 130 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,079 Off you go then. 131 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:40,279 Thanks very much, Mr Collinson. A word from a man like yourself - much appreciated. 132 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,360 All right. 133 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,960 Here... 134 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:56,039 - You ARE a lad, Fletch! - Say no more. 135 00:10:56,040 --> 00:11:02,239 - I say, sorry if I disturbed you. - Any time for you, Blanco. - Ta. 136 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:07,319 Well, I think I'll go down and watch a bit of Grandstand. 137 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:13,359 While you're there, put the word around that I'm incommunicado. 138 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:19,560 - You're in the where? - I don't wish to be disturbed. 139 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,880 Right... we'll tell 'em. 140 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,600 We'll tell 'em 141 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:41,880 I'm back, darling. 142 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,680 < POLITE COUGH 143 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,239 Yes? 144 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,439 Fletcher! 145 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,520 Mr Barrowclough, please lock me in, 146 00:12:06,521 --> 00:12:09,599 so I can get some privacy. 147 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,839 On a LOVELY afternoon like this? Dear me! 148 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:19,879 I thought you'd be out in the yard. Seems a waste to be stuck inside. 149 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,860 It's NOT a waste to me! 150 00:12:22,861 --> 00:12:25,839 I LIKE being stuck inside, reading. 151 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,860 I don't WANT to play games. 152 00:12:28,861 --> 00:12:31,879 OR make toys or play the saxophone. 153 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:38,319 Or join the amateur drama group. Or watch the Blue Lamp on BBC 2... 154 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:44,279 a film glamorising that bunch who put me here in the first place! 155 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:50,199 It's better than lying on your bunk reading lewd, lascivious rubbish! 156 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:55,279 If a man puts his mind to it, he can better himself in here. 157 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:59,199 There's far more opportunities now. 158 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:05,600 Take Spraggon. He's made a 6-foot rocket from milk bottle tops. 159 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,199 Really? 160 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:17,399 It's a work of art, you know. He's done it in 3 colours. 161 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:23,439 The nose cone is red - homogenised, the bulk is made out of silver top, 162 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:27,799 and the Governor's gold top made a nice motif. 163 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:33,479 Tell Spraggon from me, he'll never get it off the ground. 164 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:38,999 Rafferty is having his watercolours exhibited in an art gallery. 165 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:44,079 And you can get professional qualifications in here. 166 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:49,119 Even the Tooley brothers left with a diploma in welding. 167 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:55,679 Yeah. Then they welded their way into Barclays Bank in Blackburn. 168 00:13:55,680 --> 00:14:02,639 But we gave them an opportunity to do something legitimate with their lives. 169 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:08,879 They only abuse the opportunity. They ARE felons, Mr Barrowclough! 170 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:12,679 You teach someone how to use a printing press. 171 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:17,679 Does he join the Northern Echo? Fairycakes. 172 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:21,679 He stays at home and forges premium bonds. 173 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,439 I can't accept your cynicism. 174 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:31,479 I just don't like seeing someone with a good brain wasting his time. You should do something! 175 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:37,559 - Is that the end of the lecture? - I didn't come to lecture you. 176 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:41,599 What DID you come in for? We never found out. 177 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:46,600 I just dropped in because I had nothing better to do. 178 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:53,719 Would you Adam and Eve it! Your lives are emptier than ours! 179 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,039 I've got my allotment. 180 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:59,720 If you want to do something for us, 181 00:14:59,721 --> 00:15:03,400 give us more freedom, better grub, 182 00:14:56,040 --> 00:15:03,399 conjugal visits. 183 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,160 What? 184 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:10,319 Conjugals. From the Latin "conjugari" - 185 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,839 meaning "to have it away". 186 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,479 We couldn't do that! 187 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:21,679 With our old ladies! It's all above board, Bristol fashion. 188 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,399 The wife stays for the weekend in special apartments 189 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:29,720 where we can manifest our long felt wants. 190 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:38,119 - I don't know any prisons where... - Not here, in Holland and America. 191 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,340 You mean the wives just visit and... 192 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:44,559 spend the whole weekend...? 193 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,759 Conjugating, yeah. 194 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:52,800 That's more than I'm allowed at home. 195 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,439 Mr Barrowclough! 196 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,039 Aye? 197 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,879 Your need is greater than mine. 198 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,879 Certainly not, Fletcher! 199 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,240 Ha, ha, ha...! 200 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,359 Now, this is a typical cell block. 201 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,880 ↑ Why do you have the nets? 202 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:34,160 Suicide, ma'am... Prevention of. 203 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,399 Do you have many instances of that? 204 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,679 Certainly not, ma'am. 205 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,679 It's against the rules. 206 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:48,240 I suppose it's also useful if anyone 207 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:51,800 gets violent and throws each other 208 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:51,799 over the edge. 209 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:58,479 - They generally throw US over! - Is there a bad record of violence here? 210 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:03,519 No. Because we encourage a wide range of activities. 211 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,439 This helps them express themselves. 212 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:11,799 Releases the pent-up expression endemic to the incarcerated male. 213 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,719 ↑ Is that what they're doing now? 214 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,680 Absolutely. Every prisoner 215 00:17:18,681 --> 00:17:22,640 has seized the opportunity to enjoy 216 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:22,640 the extensive facilities available. 217 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:31,199 There are always some exceptions, of course. 218 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,520 May we look inside a cell? 219 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,560 Certainly, ma'am. 220 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,220 Is this man sick? 221 00:17:50,221 --> 00:17:52,239 Are you sick, Fletcher? 222 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,400 I'm sick of bleeding interruptions! 223 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,519 Please, this man's trying to relax. 224 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,999 No. Be my guest. 225 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,920 Please don't get up. 226 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:11,440 - Now, this is a typical cell. - Single or double? 227 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,600 Double. As indicated by the two bunks. 228 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:24,119 Prisoners are allowed to personalise their cells. 229 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,159 You notice the radio and the... 230 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,240 ..matches. 231 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:36,479 They're allowed to decorate their lockers with mementos of family 232 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,560 and home. 233 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,000 Those two are the wife, 234 00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:47,519 and that one is the wife's sister. 235 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:53,439 Yes, well, maybe you would like to see the recreation room now. 236 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,279 We ARE disturbing his privacy. 237 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,880 - Privacy?! - Fletcher! 238 00:18:58,881 --> 00:19:01,479 Please! Let the man speak! 239 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:09,479 Have you noticed any privacy here? Seen a door without a peephole? A cubicle door in the latrines? 240 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:15,079 It's an affront to your dignity when you're sitting on the bog 241 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,720 and the football team goes past. 242 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,319 Yes... well... 243 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,319 Yes... Well, you've had some, ain't you? 244 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:28,839 Notice the way Mr Mackay just BURST in here. 245 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:33,279 He paid no more attention to me than he did that wash basin. 246 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:39,039 Privacy is a privilege you forfeit when you transgress the law. 247 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:45,079 This is NOT an hotel. They forget that they're here to be punished. 248 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,120 Eye for an eye. Tooth for a nail. 249 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:56,039 - You sound like a Londoner. - I am. - What's a Londoner doing up here? 250 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,999 Five years. What are you doing? 251 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,799 - Fletcher! - No, no. Fair question. 252 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:09,919 We're all from the Home Office and we learn more about our penal system from these visits. 253 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:17,119 Only by talking to people like you are we able to make recommendations for change and reform. 254 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:23,079 Change? A new coat of paint, maybe. But reform - just don't bother. 255 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:27,199 His opinion is not very instructive. 256 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:33,039 I've been in more prisons than him so whose opinion is instructive? 257 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:36,879 - I would value it. - I bet you would. 258 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,919 I see what you mean. 259 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:44,519 In my opinion, you can't have a total amnesty. 260 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:48,399 You've got to lock away the hard cases. 261 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:53,439 But with the rest of us, do what they do in Scandinavia. 262 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,820 Make us WORK off our debt 263 00:20:56,821 --> 00:21:00,199 to society. On farms, hospitals... 264 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,279 One school of thought. 265 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,639 I think he has confirmed our ideas. 266 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:11,279 - What?! - I can see this system working with men like you. 267 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:15,159 What area would YOU like to work in? 268 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:20,319 - I'd choose the building site. - The fresh air. 269 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:24,920 Yes... but mainly because I could nick a fortune. 270 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:27,919 Cor...! 271 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:32,959 - Recreation room next? - Hopeless case. Classic recidivist. 272 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,480 Bit of a surly chap. 273 00:21:34,481 --> 00:21:35,999 But articulate. 274 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,040 Like a lorry! 275 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:47,960 Is there anybody else? 276 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:07,919 - 'Scuse me. - What is it now? - Were you asleep? 277 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,400 Asleep?! 278 00:22:11,401 --> 00:22:14,880 It'd be easier at Waterloo station. 279 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:14,879 Just leave me ALONE! 280 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:20,040 Sorry. But your ball's got a crack in it. 281 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,479 - Pardon? - Cracked. 282 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:28,839 Better than no balls at all, mate! 283 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:32,640 - It spoilt the game. - Here! 284 00:22:32,641 --> 00:22:36,440 - I'll take that fag back. - No! 285 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:36,439 You should have examined the ball! 286 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:41,479 - That's not fair. - FAIR?! When is life fair? 287 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,320 Is it fair that I should be 288 00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:47,159 continually bombarded with people? 289 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:50,680 Saturday afternoon is a few sacred 290 00:22:50,681 --> 00:22:54,200 hours when we can all enjoy 291 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:54,199 our own company. 292 00:22:54,200 --> 00:23:01,279 It only lasts till teatime, when we'll eat that rubbish masquerading as cottage pie. 293 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,400 When will you learn that surviving 294 00:23:04,401 --> 00:23:07,519 in stir is a state of mind? 295 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,440 It's learning to live with yourself. 296 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:17,279 Sorry, Fletch. 297 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:21,200 Come on, Warren. I like you, baby! 298 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,839 Sometimes I crave your company. 299 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:32,719 I love your anecdotes of the days you worked in that ironmongers in Bury. 300 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,959 Bolton. 301 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:41,439 Even better! I was very eager to see those snaps your wife took 302 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,519 on her day trip to Lake Windermere. 303 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:47,119 - I've got some more. - Gawd! 304 00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:51,320 - They didn't come out too well. - Just put them on the table, Warren. 305 00:23:53,040 --> 00:24:00,799 - They'll help me while away a pleasant evening. - Right, Fletch. I'll not disturb you no more. 306 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:05,839 - Promise? - Yeah. - Here, do you PROMISE? 307 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,320 - I promise. - Right. 308 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,560 God... 309 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,560 God... 310 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:32,159 God! It may seem a bit of a liberty me asking you favours. 311 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:38,839 But there is no more joy in Heaven than when a sinner repenteth. 312 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:42,360 It's only a little thing I ask. 313 00:24:42,361 --> 00:24:45,880 Just keep these nurks off my back, 314 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:45,879 will you? 315 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:49,680 If anyone else comes in, I won't be 316 00:24:49,681 --> 00:24:53,480 answerable for the consequences! 317 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:53,479 Know what I mean, God? 318 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,480 Fletch! 319 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:02,400 I've been meaning to talk to you. 320 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,799 Left, right, left, right...! 321 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:17,960 Left, right. HALT! Face the front! Stand still! 322 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,839 For the chop. 323 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,280 You know that. NO exit! 324 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:39,039 Whenever I have any doubts about the system, it's people like you that reassure me. 325 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,719 In the final analysis, 326 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:49,640 your criminal character will always show through. Like ink on blotting paper. 327 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:57,040 - Hello, Mr Mackay. - Yes. Fletcher, sir. 328 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,919 Sorry to drag you away from the game, sir. 329 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:06,119 Not at all. This is a very serious matter! 330 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:13,519 - Did the Home Office visitors see the incident? - No, sir. They were in the woodwork room. 331 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,719 FACE THE FRONT! 332 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,319 - Did anyone else witness it? - No, sir. 333 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:29,279 Well, only old Blanco Webb. And Mr Collinson heard the screams. 334 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:35,199 - Fletcher, what's got into you? - Face the front! - I'm talking to you! 335 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:42,479 Everyone's talking to me! I'm going mad! I'd like to have psychiatric observation, sir. 336 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,879 - Well, I... - No, you don't! 337 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,780 An unprovoked assault, sir. 338 00:26:49,781 --> 00:26:53,680 Slade Prison has never known 339 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:53,680 a chaplain thrown over the balcony. 340 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:58,399 I knew the safety net was there. 341 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,639 The chaplain was shattered! 342 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:05,199 He'll bounce back, sir. 343 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,239 Well, he did a bit. 344 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,879 Don't be insolent, Fletcher! 345 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:14,519 I have no alternative but to sentence you to the maximum period 346 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:18,839 of solitary confinement. 347 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,079 Sir. 348 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:25,119 It's your own fault. You have a very regrettable attitude. 349 00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:29,999 Perhaps you'll dwell on that over the next three days. 350 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:36,159 - Three days? - Yes! - Can I ask one thing? - What? 351 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,800 Could you make it a fortnight? 28344

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