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1
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I knew you could to it!
2
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:04,960
Cheese!
3
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Cheese!
4
00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:07,080
LAUGHTER
5
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:10,600
O, reit.
6
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,360
Hello, Jake.
7
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Hello, Dadi.
8
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Last night of freedom.
9
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:21,200
Let's go out tonight,
before the show? A date.
10
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,520
Like the old days.
11
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,520
FIREWORKS BANG
12
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HE GROANS
13
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,280
Let's go! Come on!
14
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,200
How did he die again?
15
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It was an accident.
16
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,560
The police aren't quite sure, but
17
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what we do know is that he fell over
and hit his head.
18
00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:47,680
I fall over
and hit my head all the time,
19
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,640
and I don't die.
20
00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,320
I know, love, but this was...
21
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,240
It's incredibly unusual.
22
00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,720
It's stupid.
23
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,600
I know this must be very hard
for you, Jake.
24
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,200
What time is Dadi picking me up,
then?
25
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,720
Sweetheart,
26
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,320
he won't be coming today.
27
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:17,080
Dadi's going to be feeling really
sad about what's happened, isn't he?
28
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:22,520
So Llinos and I think
that we should wait a bit
29
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,320
before deciding what happens next.
30
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:30,200
Especially because we think
this will make YOU very sad as well.
31
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,039
And, of course, we're all hoping
32
00:01:32,039 --> 00:01:34,640
you'll be able to move in with him
as planned.
33
00:01:37,039 --> 00:01:40,080
But we can't promise that right now.
34
00:01:42,479 --> 00:01:43,880
Jake?
35
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,920
Whatever happens, I want you to know
36
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,360
you're safe here with me.
37
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,000
Does this make sense, Jake?
38
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,039
They still have my toys.
39
00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:01,960
I want them back. They're mine.
40
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,320
SHE SIGHS
41
00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,800
He doesn't believe us, does he?
42
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,520
Well, the last thing we want
is for Jake to think
43
00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,560
they don't want him any more.
44
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,440
Do you think Gabriel might consider
some contact?
45
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,520
A video, perhaps?
46
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,640
I'm sure he would but I haven't been
able to speak to him directly yet.
47
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,240
Understandably.
48
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,200
Do we know how he's feeling
about Jake?
49
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,840
I think Jake's the last thing
on his mind right now.
50
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,400
Which is a bit of a concern.
51
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,800
His partner's just died.
52
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,240
I know that...
And he barely knows Jake.
53
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:48,000
Yeah, but still, I'm not convinced
we should be allowing any contact
54
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,720
until we're absolutely certain
the adoption's moving forward.
55
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,079
This will be hugely traumatic
for Gabriel.
56
00:02:54,079 --> 00:02:58,240
Hang on now, Gabriel's ability
to parent is not in question here.
57
00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,920
He was approved.
58
00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:02,040
As part of a stable, loving couple,
59
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,320
which is no longer the case now,
is it?
60
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,760
But Jake needs to hear something
from his dadi, otherwise...
61
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,120
We don't know for certain
he's actually going to be his dadi
62
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,440
now, though, do we?
OK, it's all right.
63
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:16,600
It's great to hear you talking
so passionately about Gabe and Jake.
64
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,320
But we do need to take
the heat out of this
65
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,440
in order to move things forward.
66
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,880
So I'm going to suggest
that we reconvene
67
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,280
in a couple of weeks,
after the funeral.
68
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,800
Gabe?
69
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,800
KNOCK ON DOOR
70
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,040
Let me do that for you.
71
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,520
Do you want me to move that?
72
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,880
No.
73
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:28,040
Sorry I've not been much help
with the organising.
74
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,640
Are you sure you're all right
with the chapel service?
75
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,200
He's your son, Sandra.
76
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,840
He's your partner.
77
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,440
We never got married.
78
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,400
We should have got married.
79
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,880
And, anyway, it's a good thing you
took control because I would have
80
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,120
probably turned it into a musical.
81
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,600
Do you think I should go
and see the coroner?
82
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,640
You know, after this is done?
Just to see what's happening there,
83
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,480
cos the police have been
so useless, haven't they?
84
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,760
I mean, it can't have been
an accident, can it?
85
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,720
Sit down, would you, Gabe?
No, I'm fine. I know, but I'm not.
86
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,360
And you're getting on my tits.
87
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,880
Sorry. Don't be.
88
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,000
I'm getting on my tits as well,
and I don't have any.
89
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,960
SANDRA LAUGHS
90
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,080
Is your dad coming here?
91
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,800
I told him to go straight there.
92
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,920
I didn't want him to feel, erm...
93
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,360
..uncomfortable, you know?
94
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,840
Will Jake be there?
95
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:31,800
Erm,
96
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,400
no, I don't think so.
97
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,000
He's still coming, though, isn't he?
98
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,000
I can't think about that right now,
Sandra.
99
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,560
Course.
100
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,400
Oh, my boy.
101
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,200
DOORBELL CHIMES
102
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,640
Your carriage awaits, my ladies.
103
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,400
They wanted to walk with you.
104
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,840
BERWYN SIGHS
105
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,720
It's my dad!
106
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,080
Berwyn?
107
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,640
You mind stopping a moment, drive?
108
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:32,120
Emrys, dowch yn y car.
109
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,520
Na. Na, wir i chi.
110
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,160
I'm so very sorry, Sandra.
111
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,000
He was such a...a wonderful boy.
112
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,520
CAR DOOR CLOSES
113
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:32,159
# Guide me, O thou great Jehovah
114
00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:38,760
# Pilgrim through this barren land
115
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:44,120
# I am weak but Thou art mighty
116
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:50,520
# Hold me with Thy powerful hand
117
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,520
# Bread of heaven
118
00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:56,960
# Bread of heaven
119
00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:01,400
# Feed me now and evermore
120
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:05,040
# Evermore!
121
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,920
# Feed me now
122
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:13,720
# And evermore. #
123
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,240
Who puts gherkins in a sandwich?
124
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,800
I do.
125
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,240
Oh...
126
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,480
Sorry.
127
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:26,440
You're all right.
Very nice, Sandra.
128
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,640
I must say, I'm rather partial
to a gherkin myself.
129
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,480
HE CHUCKLES
130
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,320
How old were you when Mam died?
131
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,000
I was your age.
132
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,440
I'm so sorry, Dad.
133
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,080
Me, too.
134
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,920
How is he?
135
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,760
Much like you, I imagine.
136
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,440
It's difficult for him
to get his head round.
137
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,000
Take your time.
138
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,760
Don't rush into anything.
139
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,320
Claire.
140
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:24,800
Tell him...
141
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,680
I will.
142
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:43,760
Want a light?
I didn't know you smoked.
143
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,360
Neither did I.
144
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,160
Well, this is shit.
145
00:10:58,560 --> 00:10:59,800
Yep.
146
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,320
Do we need to talk about Jake?
147
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:08,440
Not now. But...
We don't need to talk about it now.
148
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:11,600
OK.
149
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,800
You're the social worker.
150
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,480
Not today, Gabe.
151
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,840
Gabriel? Oh...!
152
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,120
Oh, I'm sorry.
You remember Jackie?
153
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,960
Yes. I remember Jackie.
154
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,880
Well, I'll be off, then.
155
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,680
OK.
156
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,520
Oh, er...
157
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:49,160
I'll leave you to it. I'm sure you
two must have a lot to talk about.
158
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:52,960
Though
it's...it's probably for the best.
159
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,400
What is? If the boy, erm...
160
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,240
Jake?
161
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,800
Yes. If Jake doesn't come any more.
162
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,960
Who said he wasn't coming any more?
163
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,440
Well, I've just been talking
to Sandra
164
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,480
and I just assumed that,
165
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,880
er, it would be too difficult.
166
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,840
Yeah, he's still coming, Dad.
167
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,400
Oh.
168
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,920
OK, OK. I just, er...
169
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,120
I just misunderstood, that's all.
170
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,280
I'll walk you out, Emrys.
I'm leaving now too.
171
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,800
Why do you think it will be
too difficult? Let's not talk...
172
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,440
No. I want to know.
173
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,760
Why?
174
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,840
Oh, Gabriel, I... Just tell me.
175
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,640
I'm interested.
176
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,960
Well, because, well...
177
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,400
..he's been through so much already,
hasn't he, poor dab?
178
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,920
And, and now this.
179
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,240
Erm...
180
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,080
It'll be very difficult
to fix him now.
181
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,720
Especially on your own.
182
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,160
BELL TOLLS
183
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,160
How long were you
and your Danny together?
184
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,080
Three years.
185
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,760
Short years.
186
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:24,240
What about you, sweetheart?
Anyone special?
187
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,440
There isn't anyone special enough.
188
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,680
TRAIN RATTLES ABOVE
189
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,560
DOG BARKS
190
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,200
DOG WHINES
191
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,200
GABRIEL GRUNTS
192
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,320
DOOR OPENS
193
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,480
Gabriel?
194
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000
HE COUGHS
195
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,440
Hiya, love. Thanks for coming.
196
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,800
But I thought it best
to get the ball rolling
197
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,000
because I think Jake should move in
this weekend.
198
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,760
Oh. And I know you'll probably think
it's too soon,
199
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:29,120
but honestly, I am fine. Gabriel...
OK, well, not fine, obviously,
200
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,040
but well enough for him to come
here because...
201
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,320
Gabe, can I just take
my bloody coat off first?
202
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,040
Sure.
203
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,600
Sure. Of course.
204
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,080
Not sitting?
205
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,280
Thing is, Gabriel...
206
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,560
..I'm afraid we can't just plough on
as if nothing's happened.
207
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,240
Well, I understand that...
Wait. Just let me finish.
208
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:58,760
I'm meeting with Jake's team
tomorrow to explore our options.
209
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:02,080
OK. But make it clear that I want
him to move in sooner rather than...
210
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,119
It's not as simple as that, love.
Why not?
211
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,079
We'll have to go back to panel.
212
00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:11,119
And I'll have to write
an addendum report.
213
00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,760
But I've already been assessed.
I know that, but...
214
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,599
..your situation's different now,
isn't it?
215
00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:23,079
Do you not think I can do this
on my own either? I didn't say that.
216
00:17:23,079 --> 00:17:25,119
Am I going to lose Jake as well?
217
00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:27,359
Hey, hey, we're not there yet.
218
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,120
And I promise,
I am going to do everything I can
219
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,480
to make sure that doesn't happen.
220
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,120
Mm.
221
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:42,600
But I'm afraid Llinos is going
to have to come round next week
222
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,040
and start collecting his things
223
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:47,200
because he's been asking for them,
so...
224
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,880
But hopefully,
it'll just be temporary.
225
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,680
Just until we can sort
all this out.
226
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,280
And the best thing you can do
after that is rest.
227
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,360
Do whatever you need
to get through the day.
228
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,360
And give yourself time to grieve,
229
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,160
whatever form that takes.
230
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,960
I mean, for what it's worth,
231
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,760
the best advice anyone ever gave me
about grief...
232
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,560
..there are no rules.
233
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:44,520
MUSIC: Darkjewel
by Gallops
234
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,040
ECHOING BREATHING
235
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,080
GABRIEL GROANS
236
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,800
LOUD SNIFF
237
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,880
MUSIC: Intro to Mad World
by Gary Jules
238
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:31,200
# All around me are familiar faces
239
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,760
# Worn out places
240
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,960
# Worn out faces
241
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:41,720
# Bright and early
for their daily races
242
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,520
# Going nowhere
243
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,800
# Going nowhere
244
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:53,360
# Their tears are filling up
their glasses
245
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:55,760
# No expression
246
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:59,520
# No expression
247
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:04,200
# Hide my head
I wanna drown my sorrow
248
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,840
# No tomorrow
249
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:10,600
# No tomorrow
250
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,680
# And I find it kind of funny
251
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,360
# I find it kind of sad
252
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,960
# The dreams in which I'm dying
253
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,960
# Are the best I've ever had
254
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,600
# I find it hard to tell you
255
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,360
# I find it hard to take
256
00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:32,160
# When people run in circles
it's a very, very... #
257
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,400
ALL: # Mad world
258
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,920
# Mad world
259
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:48,160
# Children waiting
for the day they feel good
260
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,720
# Happy birthday
261
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:54,920
# Happy birthday
262
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:59,480
# Made to feel the way
that every child should
263
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,320
# Sit and listen
264
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,720
# Sit and listen
265
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:10,040
# Went to school
and I was very nervous
266
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:13,160
# No-one knew me
267
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,560
# No-one knew me
268
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:21,520
# Hello, teacher
Tell me, what's my lesson?
269
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,120
# Look right through me
270
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:27,760
# Look right through me
271
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,880
# And I find it kind of funny
272
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,840
# I find it kind of sad
273
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,440
# The dreams in which I'm dying
274
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,280
# Are the best I've ever had
275
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,000
# I find it hard to tell you
276
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,680
# I find it hard to take
277
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,560
# When people run in circles
278
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,360
# I find it kind of sad
279
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:55,560
# The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
280
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,400
# I find it hard tell you
281
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,080
# I find it hard to take
282
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,440
# When people run in circles
283
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,360
# It's a very, very
284
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:10,880
# Mad world
285
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:16,280
# Mad world
286
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:22,400
# Enlargen your world
287
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:29,480
# Mad world. #
288
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,960
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
289
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,360
AUDIO DISTORTS AND ECHOES
290
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,000
And what type of sex did you have?
291
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,720
Anal.
292
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,680
Do you know if he had HIV or not?
293
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,200
I don't know.
294
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,160
Were you sexually assaulted?
295
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,040
No.
296
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,600
Jake?
297
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,440
Jake. Gabriel.
298
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,360
Jake. Jake?
299
00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:51,960
Gabriel. Jake!
300
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:56,080
I'm so sorry,
we thought you were someone else.
301
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,040
Come on.
302
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,400
HE WAILS
303
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,480
HE SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY
304
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,880
You were the one that said
there are no rules.
305
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,640
I didn't think you'd end up in A&E,
for God's sake!
306
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,480
They will understand, though.
307
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,120
Won't they?
308
00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:23,840
After everything I've been through?
309
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,800
It's not about you, Gabriel.
310
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,560
It's about Jake
and what he's been through.
311
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,320
Cos whatever's happened to you,
312
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,440
he has been through
a hell of a lot worse.
313
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,800
The only thing that matters to them
is whether or not you can be trusted
314
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,320
to take care of a boy
with Jake's needs.
315
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,080
On your own.
316
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:45,240
Cos who's to say that next time
life throws you a curveball
317
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,640
and, believe me, there will be many,
318
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,240
that you won't fall off the wagon
again with Jake in your care?
319
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,160
But it won't happen again,
I promise...
320
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:54,640
It can't happen again!
321
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,840
But the problem now is the panel
will need to see at least two years'
322
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:03,320
stability after relapse
before they will approve a match.
323
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,280
But it wasn't a relapse.
It was a relapse.
324
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,280
It was your default position
to stress.
325
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,520
To grief. Your default position
was to use again.
326
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,640
But I want to be his dad.
327
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,560
I can be his dad.
328
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,120
But they'll have to look
into other options.
329
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,960
Especially as you can't prove to us
you'll be able... To us?
330
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:28,560
Yeah.
331
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,560
To us.
332
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,520
SHE SIGHS
333
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:36,280
Look, Gabriel, sort yourself out.
334
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,400
Whatever it takes.
335
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:41,800
Grief counselling, therapy.
336
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,920
In the meantime, we've agreed
it would be a good idea,
337
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,480
as well as letterbox contact,
338
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,320
for you to record
a short video message for Jake.
339
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,840
Something acknowledging
how difficult this has all been.
340
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,320
Because we need to make
absolutely sure he knows
341
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,560
that this wasn't
all just some elaborate lie
342
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,840
and that you've rejected him.
Is that what he thinks?
343
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:09,320
That little boy has had no reason
to trust anyone, so...
344
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:10,800
So, what?
345
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,120
He thinks we're just making it up?
That we...
346
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:18,040
..that I don't want him any more?
347
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:23,320
Oh, God,
does he not want me any more?
348
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,280
It's only fair that you know
349
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,400
he has asked us
to look into other adopters.
350
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,720
So what's the point
in me fighting for him, then?
351
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,320
Because he is not capable
of knowing what he wants.
352
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,800
Because he's just a little boy,
Gabriel.
353
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:40,560
I mean, in his head, he thought
he was going to have two daddies.
354
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,680
And one of them died.
355
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,200
And the moment
he experienced that loss,
356
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,800
another catastrophic loss...
357
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,960
..you didn't show up for him either.
358
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:55,440
But that is because... I am just
saying how it will feel to him.
359
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,640
But he can't know what he needs,
he's just a child.
360
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,360
So don't take it personally.
361
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:07,000
But only you can decide if there
is something worth fighting for.
362
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,800
You think it's hopeless, don't you?
363
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,120
I don't know.
364
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:20,600
But I've already lost my son.
365
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,240
So I would never forgive you if
you didn't give it your best shot.
366
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,120
And you're not going to be
on your own are you,
367
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:30,840
you twat?
368
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,680
Hi, Jake, it's Dadi here.
369
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:49,480
I don't know about you,
but I'm finding this so weird.
370
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:53,040
Sometimes all I want to do
is scream.
371
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,880
And if you're feeling
anything like I am,
372
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,080
you'll be feeling very sad
and confused.
373
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,600
Because this is
an incredibly strange
374
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,560
and difficult situation.
375
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:07,880
But I want you to know
that I really haven't
376
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,880
stopped thinking about you
and I still love you very much.
377
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,360
And I hope, more than anything, that
I'll get to see you again very soon.
378
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,080
Oh, and give my love to Billy
for me.
379
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,520
GAME MUSIC BLARES
380
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,280
So I'm feeling great, actually.
381
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:37,000
I mean, I know that it's early days,
but I have so much energy.
382
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,960
And I've been thinking,
383
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,080
just because there are five stages
of grief, it doesn't mean
384
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:45,360
that we all have to go through
every single one of them, does it?
385
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,520
And what are those stages?
386
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,440
Well, er, denial...
387
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,480
..anger, bargaining.
388
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:57,000
I'm just reading
the poster behind you.
389
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:58,640
You do know that, don't you?
390
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,280
And where are you on that spectrum,
Gabriel?
391
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:02,880
See, that's the thing.
392
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:04,360
I don't think I'm on it any more.
393
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,440
OK, but if you had to put yourself
somewhere,
394
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,880
just as a thought-experiment,
where would that be?
395
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,280
Honestly, I'm not on it.
396
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:15,360
Because all I want to do is
start our family - my family.
397
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:20,760
I've got so much energy and love
that I could burst.
398
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,440
And I want to be able to focus
that love somewhere,
399
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:27,120
which is why I'm doing everything I
can to prove that I can parent Jake.
400
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,920
Cos I've never felt so invincible.
401
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,120
That's how I feel.
402
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,640
Yeah, invincible.
403
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:39,200
So there you go, Sharon,
I'm not on the spectrum, am I?
404
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,840
In fact, I am shitting
all over your spectrum
405
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,680
because invincibility isn't
anywhere near that spectrum, is it?
406
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,160
It is, Gabriel.
407
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,560
No, it isn't. Look again.
408
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,080
Oh, yes, sorry.
409
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,040
Acceptance, isn't it?
410
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,040
No, Gabriel.
411
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:00,600
It's denial.
412
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,640
Fuck.
413
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,400
How do you think that made me feel?
414
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,560
How can his death be deemed
as a death by misadventure?
415
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,800
I mean "misadventure" -
what the fuck?
416
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,040
It makes dying
almost sound fun, doesn't it?
417
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,160
As if we're all missing out.
418
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,920
Are you clear what "misadventure"
means, Gabriel?
419
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,600
Unintended consequence
of an intentional act.
420
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,560
Right.
421
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:45,160
All I want to do is catch the fucker
422
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,000
who performed that intentional act
423
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,200
which unintentionally killed
my Andy,
424
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,520
and unintentionally kill him
as well.
425
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:56,160
OK.
426
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:01,360
But don't worry, I won't be able
to do that, because...
427
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,680
We have very little to go on,
I'm afraid.
428
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,320
Our only hope is if somebody comes
forward in the future.
429
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:10,000
Come back, Crimewatch,
all is forgiven.
430
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,360
You know, I thought I saw my dad
on Crimewatch once.
431
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,680
For a split second I thought
he'd robbed a bank in Milton Keynes.
432
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,800
I even checked the calendar
to see where he was that day.
433
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:26,720
Do you want to talk about your dad?
434
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,280
No, you're all right.
435
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:33,120
But Andy didn't deserve it, though,
did he?
436
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,160
He was a saint.
437
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:38,520
If anyone was going to die first,
it should have been me.
438
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,800
Then I find myself wondering
if that's why he died -
439
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:43,520
because he was a saint.
440
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:45,240
Only the good die young, all that.
441
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:49,480
Or if Andy's death was a punishment
from God for my past behaviour?
442
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,280
And I don't even believe in God!
443
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:52,800
And then I feel even more guilty
444
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,440
because I've somehow managed to make
Andy's death all about me again.
445
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:58,560
He can't even be centre stage
in his own demise.
446
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,120
Poor bugger.
447
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,000
And then all I want
is to hear him tell me
448
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,560
that I'm being a self-centred
egotistical twat again.
449
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,520
So I find myself pleading
with They upstairs -
450
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:11,000
because if there is a God
they're probably nonbinary, right? -
451
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,320
and I find myself saying things
like,
452
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,679
"If I promise to stop masturbating,
can I please wake up
453
00:34:16,679 --> 00:34:19,080
"from this nightmare and find Andy
coming out of the shower
454
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,080
"like Bobby Ewing in Dallas?"
455
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,199
Is any of this normal?
456
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:31,080
CLOCK TICKS
457
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,400
This is all perfectly normal.
458
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:58,680
GABRIEL SCREAMS
459
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,240
HE LAUGHS
460
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,680
THEY BOTH LAUGH HYSTERICALLY
461
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,400
Jake? Have you seen my...?
462
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,680
GABRIEL: I really haven't
stopped thinking about you
463
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:31,000
and I still love you very much.
464
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,680
And I hope, more than anything, that
I'll get to see you again very soon.
465
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,480
Oh, and give my love to Billy
for me.
466
00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:52,920
You've come a really long way.
467
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,800
I don't feel like I have.
468
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,280
You have.
469
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,240
You did the work, Gabe.
470
00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:01,000
You're financially solvent.
471
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:04,400
Only because Andy ignored me
and paid the life insurance anyway.
472
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:07,160
But you've clearly demonstrated
you are committed
473
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,280
to being the best dad
you can be to Jake.
474
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,560
Which is why we think
it's time we took it back to panel.
475
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:17,360
What? Really? Really.
476
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,920
That is, if you still want Jake?
477
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,800
Yes.
Yes, of course I still want Jake.
478
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:27,360
Which is excellent news
because he's been asking for you.
479
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,000
He has? He has.
480
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:31,560
Fuck off.
481
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,000
Please don't say that to panel,
will you?
482
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:37,120
Thank you.
483
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,680
It's not a done deal yet.
484
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,640
I mean, just because you want it,
just because Jake wants it,
485
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,800
doesn't mean that panel will think
it's a good idea.
486
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:53,600
Hey.
487
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:56,520
They're ready for you.
488
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,600
Just be prepared,
489
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,760
because they won't go easy on you
in there.
490
00:37:16,240 --> 00:37:17,880
So, I suppose in the end
491
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,280
it comes down to a matter
of balancing risk.
492
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:25,360
Is it better for Jake's wellbeing
to remain in the care system,
493
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:27,120
deny the parent he's asked for
494
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,000
and all the pain and rejection
that would bring?
495
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:35,400
Or are we perhaps risking more
if we approve this match?
496
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,040
Because if you can't cope
as a single adopter, Gabriel,
497
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:42,000
then Jake's suffering
could be greater.
498
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,760
Of course it's a risk.
499
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:51,160
Believe you me,
for such a long time,
500
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,040
it's been the first thing
I think about when I wake up.
501
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,800
And the last thing I think about
before I sleep.
502
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,720
If I sleep.
503
00:37:59,720 --> 00:38:02,680
And, like most of you,
I've had so many doubts.
504
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,320
What if I fail Jake?
505
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:08,720
Again.
506
00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:12,160
And how can I know that fighting
for this is the right decision?
507
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:13,880
But that's the point, I can't.
508
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:17,960
How can I possibly know
what's right?
509
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,640
How can you know?
510
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,400
It's impossible.
511
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,920
This isn't science,
these are emotions.
512
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:30,080
Relationships, vulnerabilities.
513
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,920
We're all just humans trying to
figure out how to get through life.
514
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,400
So we can't know.
515
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:38,760
But we can feel.
516
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,600
And all we can ever do
is go on the information we have
517
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,720
and what that does to our gut.
518
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:49,000
Our heart.
519
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:51,280
Here.
520
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:56,800
And I've messed up a lot.
521
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:00,280
But, my God...
522
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,880
..the intention to love him...
523
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,440
..and love him and love him...
524
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:13,440
..is there.
525
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,120
And it's not just me, I have the
most extraordinary support network,
526
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:19,840
who love Jake as well.
527
00:39:21,720 --> 00:39:24,120
And who, despite my flaws,
528
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,120
love me too.
529
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,160
And they want this to work out
more than anything.
530
00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:35,200
I have my village.
531
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,520
And so my gut is crying out
that this is,
532
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,640
in all probability,
the best thing for Jake.
533
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,880
Love is the best thing.
534
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:56,400
But you're right, it's a risk.
535
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,080
And it's scary.
536
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:03,040
And you have to listen
to your own guts.
537
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:07,680
But if I'd listened to my fears
about all the things
538
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:09,960
that could go wrong in my life...
539
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:14,760
..I would never have come out.
540
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:20,720
I'd never have met Andy.
541
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,560
I would never have met Jake.
542
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,880
And, yeah, approving us might be
the wrong decision.
543
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,080
But it might also end up being
544
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,560
the best thing
that's ever happened to both of us.
545
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:53,400
HE SIGHS
546
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:04,240
DOOR OPENS
547
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:16,120
Thank you, Gabriel, for everything
that you've shared with us.
548
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:19,240
We've had to think really hard
about this.
549
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:21,960
It is a high-risk decision.
550
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,880
But we've come to the unanimous
decision
551
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:28,960
to approve the match.
552
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:32,640
You've got a brilliant
support network, Gabriel.
553
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:34,800
And you've got a good 'un there too.
554
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:41,000
GABRIEL CRIES
555
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,040
Good boy.
556
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:47,640
Good boy.
557
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:53,520
PHONE RINGS
558
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,040
Gabriel?
559
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:02,960
Ia.
560
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,000
Dad?
561
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,760
MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES
562
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,640
KNOCK ON WINDOW
563
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:50,160
Here you are.
564
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:56,320
So...
565
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,800
..just one more thing.
566
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:02,000
Will there ever not be
just one more thing?
567
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,560
Welcome to parenting.
568
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,560
GABRIEL CHUCKLES
569
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:07,920
We need to talk
about meeting birth mum.
570
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:11,720
You've agreed, Gabe.
571
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,880
And she's come a really long way
this last year.
572
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:18,760
She's moved area for a fresh start.
573
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:22,080
And she's committed
to getting herself clean.
574
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:26,480
She's been through a lot too.
575
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,120
I don't really care what she's been
through. Jake's my priority.
576
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:31,360
Which is exactly
why you should meet her.
577
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,560
You'll be able to answer his
questions about her in the future.
578
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:39,800
We'll control everything.
579
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:42,280
We'll agree on the questions
you ask each other beforehand,
580
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,280
things you'll want to know
about Jake,
581
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:46,000
and she'll want to know about...
582
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:50,840
..well, you.
583
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,720
And the kind of life
you'll be able to give him.
584
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:00,120
Just think
how nice it will be one day,
585
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,000
when you're able to say to Jake...
586
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:05,280
.."I met your mum once."
587
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,760
I-I didn't know if I was supposed
to come in or not
588
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,000
cos they said at the desk
that Llinos is already here,
589
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,040
but they obviously got that wrong,
didn't they,
590
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:21,720
cos she's not here, is she?
591
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:23,560
Fuck. Shouldn't have come in yet,
should I?
592
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,920
I should have waited outside
and now I've made this really weird.
593
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,480
Becky...
594
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,040
..it's fine. You're very welcome.
595
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:31,920
I'm sure Llinos will be here
in a moment.
596
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,200
No, I wouldn't bet on it.
You know as well as I do,
597
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,440
social workers are
a waste of fucking space.
598
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:38,240
Where's your social worker?
599
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:41,960
Erm, I'm a social worker.
600
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:45,480
Fuck. Really?
601
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:49,080
I thought you were
his special friend or something,
602
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:52,560
like they offered me,
I was offered but, erm,
603
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:55,160
I didn't want it cos
it's no-one else's business, is it?
604
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:58,120
You know, this, it's just mine...
Ours.
605
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,800
Shit. Sorry. I'm sure
you're not a waste of space.
606
00:45:03,240 --> 00:45:05,120
Is she a waste of space?
607
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,280
No. Good. That's good, then.
608
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,600
God, bit bloody formal, this,
isn't it?
609
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,240
And what's
with all the plastic bottles?
610
00:45:13,240 --> 00:45:15,720
You know, like, they fine you
for screwing up the recycling
611
00:45:15,720 --> 00:45:17,640
and then they give you
all this plastic shit.
612
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,440
I thought we were meeting
in reception?
613
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,160
Yeah, you weren't fucking there,
were you?
614
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:22,640
And I've been making
a right tit out myself.
615
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:25,000
Come charging in like a paedophile
in a playground!
616
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:28,520
Anyway, you're here now, so are
we sitting down, then, or what?
617
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:30,080
OK.
618
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:33,440
So, this is your opportunity
to share any information
619
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:35,000
you have about Jake.
620
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,560
You got the questions
from the adopter, didn't you, Becky?
621
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:40,160
Doesn't he have a name?
622
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:43,280
Yeah. But as discussed,
he'll be known as the adopter. Why?
623
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,640
In case I look him up on Facebook
or something and try and kill him?
624
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:47,400
Nobody's suggesting that.
625
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,520
Because "adopter" makes him sound
like the RoboCop
626
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:51,240
or Terminator or something.
627
00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:53,520
It's what we agreed. All right!
628
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,240
All right. I get it.
629
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,160
They're good questions.
630
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:00,400
Thank you.
631
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:03,400
And the adopter
has your questions too, so...
632
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:07,440
Thought they were shit, did you?
Sorry?
633
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,760
I said yours were good,
you said nothing. It's rude.
634
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:13,760
No, I, er... I'm joking, man.
635
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:16,760
God! You're all so fucking touchy.
636
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:18,640
Becky. All right, all right.
637
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:21,240
Over to you, adopter.
638
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,440
I-I just wanted to ask
about his name.
639
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,800
Why did you decide to call him Jake?
640
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,360
Take your time, Becky.
It's OK to be upset.
641
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:39,960
I'm not upset. Take a moment.
642
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:41,720
I don't need a fucking moment!
643
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,480
It's cos I like Joseph, innit?
644
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,360
The musical.
645
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:55,040
Yeah, erm, I was in it
when I was at school.
646
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:59,360
I couldn't sing for shit, but
I could dance the tits off anyone.
647
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:03,520
But, erm, I didn't want Joseph
cos of Stalin,
648
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,560
so, um, I settled for Jacob.
649
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:10,000
It's a stronger name anyway.
And, erm, I wanted him to be strong.
650
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:12,920
I want him to be strong.
651
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:14,480
Is that all right, like?
652
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,240
It's great, I'm sure Ga...
653
00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:20,320
Ah! You were going to say his name
then, weren't you?
654
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:22,320
SHE LAUGHS
655
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,240
Don't get your knickers in a twist.
I'm not going to try and guess.
656
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,120
Go on, next one.
657
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:31,440
Erm...
658
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:35,360
I wanted to ask about his dad,
his birth dad.
659
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:36,760
Liam?
660
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:38,640
How did you meet?
661
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:41,200
At a drum and base club,
off my tits on Molly.
662
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:45,240
Promised me the world
and utterly destroyed it.
663
00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:47,880
Oh... Go on. Next one.
664
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:52,560
When did Jake start speaking
and walking?
665
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,400
That's actually two questions
but I won't hold it against you.
666
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,840
God, right one you've got here,
Llin.
667
00:47:57,840 --> 00:47:59,760
I thought you said he was
intelligent. I'm sorry, I...
668
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:03,880
I'm joking, man. God!
I hope you're more fun with Jake.
669
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,920
Anyway, Jakey took his first steps
at 15 months.
670
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:10,360
Just as Call The Midwife
was starting.
671
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:14,880
I don't forget anything, see.
672
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:19,400
I remember everything.
673
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:23,200
Everything.
674
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,600
Jake bloody loves Call The Midwife,
by the way.
675
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:31,880
You need to watch it with him.
676
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:35,080
I thought all nuns were cunts
before I watched that.
677
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:37,240
GABRIEL CHUCKLES QUIETLY
678
00:48:37,240 --> 00:48:39,720
And his first word was "Mam",
I think.
679
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,000
What are you staring at?
680
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:50,680
No.
681
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:52,080
Nothing.
682
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:54,520
And your next question?
683
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,960
Your happiest memory of him?
684
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:07,520
I think it, erm...
685
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:11,200
I think it was seeing him
for the first time.
686
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:15,840
I couldn't believe how much I loved
this pink wriggly thing
687
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,240
that had just like mutilated
my fanny.
688
00:49:18,240 --> 00:49:19,480
But I did.
689
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:22,840
I loved him.
690
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:26,080
More than I've ever loved anything
before or since.
691
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,160
Ever will again, maybe.
692
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:33,800
Erm, your last question?
693
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:37,800
What do you hope that he achieves?
694
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:41,160
More than I have.
695
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,920
It might be nice if you can elab...
696
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:49,600
No, I don't have anything else
to say! I want to ask my questions.
697
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:53,160
That was your last question, wasn't
it, adopter? Yeah. Good. Yeah.
698
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,520
Right, what I want to know is,
699
00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:00,920
will you have other close family
around?
700
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:02,480
Yes.
701
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,920
His nan's not too far away and
she...she really can't wait
702
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,280
to meet him. Good.
Cos you'll need help, you know?
703
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:11,040
It's hard doing it on your own.
704
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:13,960
Although I was actually dead chuffed
705
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:15,960
when I heard he was going
to a single man.
706
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,200
Cos I'm his only mami then, see.
707
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:21,760
And, erm,
I think it'll be good for him.
708
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:25,720
He needs to know that not all men
are complete and utter dickheads.
709
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:29,920
Why're you doing this on your own,
anyway by the way? Are you gay?
710
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:31,720
Yes, actually.
711
00:50:31,720 --> 00:50:33,320
Cool.
712
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:34,960
I-I'm cool with that.
713
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,360
Cos my nan's a lesbian
and she's a total legend.
714
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:41,080
Why's your nan a legend?
No, that's not on the list.
715
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,400
Is he allowed to ask questions
that are not on the list?
716
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,360
We've time if you want to answer?
717
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:48,040
All right, well...
718
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:52,080
..don't be surprised if I go
parkour on my questions as well.
719
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:55,840
Nan's a legend because
she's the only one that gave a shit
720
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,400
that my dad was a fucking arsehole.
721
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:02,080
I'm so sorry to hear that.
722
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:07,640
So how come you're single, then?
723
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,520
I mean, like,
you're hardly a munter.
724
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,600
You just haven't found the right
one yet, have you? Erm...
725
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,520
No, my...
726
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:19,120
My partner, he...
727
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,280
He died.
728
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,280
Oh, God. Right.
729
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:30,600
What happened?
We're not...we're not actually sure.
730
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,520
But he was probably attacked.
731
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,880
But anyway, he fell and...
732
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:39,960
Then he knocked his head and...
733
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,560
Shit. Sorry.
734
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:44,760
It's OK.
735
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:46,720
It's not OK. It's fucking sad.
736
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:50,120
Llinos, get the man a tissue.
No, I'm fine, honestly...
737
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,320
No, get the fucking man a tissue,
I said!
738
00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:58,560
You cry if you want to.
739
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,600
It's absolutely nothing
to be ashamed of.
740
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:06,720
And you make sure you teach that
to Jakey too.
741
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:10,840
What was his name?
742
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:12,280
Your partner?
743
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,920
Andrew. Andy.
744
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:18,800
His name was Andy.
745
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:20,240
Andy.
746
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:22,800
That's nice.
747
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,400
Oh, shit. No, I shouldn't have
said... Oh, shit.
748
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,760
Sorry, look, I just wanted to know
what his name was cos, erm,
749
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:32,360
well, cos...cos he would have been
his dad as well, wouldn't he?
750
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:33,640
Yeah.
751
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,200
Lucky boy.
752
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:39,400
You know, not one, but two nice dads
to take care of him.
753
00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:44,480
I mean...
754
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:47,400
..look at you.
755
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:52,760
Look at your kind face.
756
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:00,120
Anyway, erm...
757
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:14,520
"Will you take Jake on holiday?"
758
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:17,280
Yes.
759
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:21,440
Yes, there's lots of places
that I'd love to share with him.
760
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:25,920
Last question.
761
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:30,640
Do you have a garden?
762
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:33,800
Yes.
763
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,160
Front and back garden.
764
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,080
BECKY SNIFFLES
765
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:40,600
Just got a trampoline in the back
cos,
766
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,520
well, I know how much he loves that.
767
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:53,080
Actually,
can I ask one more question?
768
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:57,080
You...
769
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:00,440
You...
770
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:01,680
Fuck!
771
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,280
You will love him, won't you?
772
00:54:07,720 --> 00:54:09,160
I already do.
773
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:13,200
SHE LAUGHS THROUGH TEARS
774
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:17,880
Good.
775
00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:24,400
Because I love him too, see.
776
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:25,640
And, erm...
777
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,600
..I want him to have a good life.
778
00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:33,920
I want him to be happy.
779
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:38,120
And you will let him know that?
780
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:41,560
That I loved him.
781
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,960
It really wasn't
because I didn't love him.
782
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:53,480
God!
783
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,520
Look at you.
784
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,520
SHE LAUGHS
785
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:00,840
Look at your kind face.
786
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:05,880
He takes after you, you know.
787
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,000
No, it's true.
788
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:09,520
He's bright.
789
00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:12,200
And funny.
790
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,040
He's so funny.
791
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,040
SHE LAUGHS SADLY
792
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:17,360
And loving.
793
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:20,960
You should be really proud of that.
794
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:31,800
Erm, we always think it's nice
if there's a picture...
795
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,840
..of the two of you together,
for Jake.
796
00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:39,680
I don't have to put my arm round him
or nothing?
797
00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:42,360
No, you can just stand
next to each other.
798
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:51,440
I feel like a right fucking pleb.
799
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,320
No. It's lovely.
800
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,320
SHUTTER CLICKS
801
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:57,000
Thanks.
802
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,960
Right, then, we'd better get going,
innit, Llin?
803
00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:02,200
Christ, I could do with a drink!
804
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:05,240
And you'll have things to do,
I imagine.
805
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:10,400
Well, anyway, erm...
806
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:12,520
..goodbye, RoboCop.
807
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:14,560
My name's Gabriel.
808
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:19,280
SHE SNIFFS
809
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:25,080
Thank you.
810
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:30,240
Come on, let's go.
811
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:22,840
HE SIGHS
812
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:33,840
HE LAUGHS
813
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,960
# You talk like Marlene Dietrich
814
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:07,120
# And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire
815
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:11,000
# Your clothes
are all made by Balmain
816
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:14,560
# And there's diamonds and pearls
in your hair
817
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:16,760
# Yes, there are
818
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:21,000
# You live in a fancy apartment
819
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:25,000
# Off the Boulevard St Michel
820
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:29,600
# Where you keep
your Rolling Stones records. #
95761
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