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1
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,160
OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS
2
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,960
GENTLE PARTY MUSIC PLAYS
3
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:29,160
Bump it.
4
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:31,920
Yeah.
5
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:36,280
James. Surprised to see you at the
QGM. You're not normally invited.
6
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,440
Available, yes. Well, I could hardly
miss it this time, could I?
7
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:44,240
What with having found...
the Second Scroll!
8
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,600
I'm sure Her Eminence would want her
favourite Overlord here
9
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,080
to show everyone how to do
the business!
10
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,280
I mean surprised you could
find the time.
11
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:56,120
Word is you still haven't
conquered your territory.
12
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,960
-Sunderland, isn't it?
-Yonderland.
That's all under control.
13
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,600
First rule of management, Giles -
employ the right people
14
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:05,800
and learn how to delegate.
15
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,960
But it's made of metal,
how did it...
16
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,040
It doesn't matter how it started,
just put it out!
17
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,160
Ow, hot, hot, hot!
18
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:18,480
Actually...probably deal with
-that first.
-Yeah. OK.
19
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:24,040
Far, far ago, the ancients wrote upon
the scrolls that dark forces
20
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:28,000
would sweep our realm,
until only Yonderland remained.
21
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,560
But they telled also of a saviour,
22
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,960
come from a distant world,
23
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,080
to save us from the shadows...
24
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,480
which is lovely.
25
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,200
FRONT DOOR OPENS
26
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,440
Right, five minutes -
and don't get settled.
27
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,720
I wasn't expecting you back.
I know. Look at that! Guess who?
28
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,280
-The evil twin.
-Honestly!
29
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,280
We got halfway into town
and that's a whole carton.
30
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,560
-Has that done anything?
-Yeah,
ruined a T-shirt. Go and change.
31
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,000
Will you come with me?
Pete, we've been through this.
32
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:15,880
If there's a ghost, it's friendly.
33
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:18,080
I know. I know, I can be brave.
34
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,680
Ben, do you want to come
upstairs with Daddy?
35
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,800
Oh, nice, so if it turns you've got
a six-year-old to protect you.
36
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,000
What do you mean turns?
I'm joking. Go and change.
37
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,840
This is the problem with pale denim.
It's one of the problems.
38
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,280
Where have you been?
They had a lot to take in.
39
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,960
THEY had a lot to take in?
It's my father.
40
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,720
All right, put your knickers on.
Anyway, they're ready now.
41
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:45,480
Say they want to see this message
-for themselves.
-Well, let's go then.
42
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:49,080
Pete, I'm just going to Tesco's!
We need some bog roll!
43
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:50,640
Where the hell.
44
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:51,960
Hang on, Jaffa cakes.
45
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,120
-GASPS:
-Tangy Sandwich!
46
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:58,120
I did all I could, but someone has
replaced your internal organs
47
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,840
with some sort of synthetic wadding.
48
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,360
You never stood a chance. Oh!
49
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,360
I'm sorry. Your friend was
too far gone.
50
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,080
Bye, little man!
51
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,080
Who were you talking to?
52
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,200
The little man who just cut up
Pink Nelly.
53
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,520
HE COUGHS
54
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:25,560
Right, it's either eight injured and
three dead, or the other way round.
55
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:30,040
Well, my feeling is that the
various issues which have risen
56
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,920
this morning are due to a lack of
leadership in the absence of
57
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,920
His Eminence. A problem for which
I have an elegant solution!
58
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:42,120
Now, you may call me Boss, Lord,
The Exulted One.
59
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,040
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
are you hearing this?
60
00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:45,600
Permission to speak, boss?
61
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,200
-Erm.
-You're not in charge, Neil!
62
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,520
If one of us is going to get to play
at being General,
63
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:53,960
-we should draw lots.
-Draw lots of
-what?
-Or, better still, take a vote.
64
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,720
Doesn't sound very evil.
65
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,920
Well, we can call it something
sinister. Like a...
66
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,200
General...
67
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,760
Election.
68
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,200
THEY CACKLE
69
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:12,960
-What?Absolutely not.
-We have no
choice. The prophecy is quite clear.
70
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,680
"And, lo, the union of the twins
shalt scuttle this realm,
71
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:20,240
"to live eternal, neath the cloud
of the second age."
72
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,560
How is that clear?
"Neath" isn't even a word!
73
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,680
It means that if you fall into
the clutches of your sister -
74
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:29,320
if the twins are reunited,
our whole world could fall under
75
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,520
the rule of Imperatrix.
76
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,120
Yes, but if what he says is true,
then I'm from here.
77
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,160
You can't just kick me out!
You can't just kick her out.
78
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,040
But we must. Imperatrix is intent
upon a union.
79
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,560
She's demanding that we bring you
before her.
80
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,680
Well, tell her no! I'll tell her -
where is she?
81
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:44,680
-ALL:
-No!
82
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,920
That's the point. The two of you
must never meet.
83
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,120
The consequences are unthinkable!
84
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,240
I wish they were. I keep thinking
about them.
85
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,120
I have so many questions.
86
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,320
Pep-pep-pep!
87
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,080
It is decided. Our hands are tied.
88
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,560
Elf, your orders are clear.
89
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,000
The Chosen One must be returned
to her world.
90
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,520
And the portal closed...
immediately.
91
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,160
-But.
-Debbie, it's done.
92
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:20,000
Gentlemen, in honour of the
many sacrifices Debbie has made
93
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,240
for our realm, let us...
94
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,280
ALL: No!
95
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:24,480
I wasn't going to say that!
96
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,360
This can't be right.
97
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,560
You heard them -
it's not safe for you here.
98
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,840
But I'm from here!
99
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,920
It's part of me,
just as much as through there is.
100
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:42,720
And there's so many things I need to
know, a home I've never even seen!
101
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,880
There must be something you can do?
102
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,960
I'm just an Elf.
103
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,120
I know.
104
00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,880
If you're going to kiss,
turn me round.
105
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:53,720
So I can watch.
106
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,280
Take care of each other, OK?
107
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,040
Debbie, wait.
108
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,280
Do you want to see your home?
109
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:04,480
Your real home.
110
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,880
Yeah.
111
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,080
Maybe we could sort of go via there.
112
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,280
Thank you. Thank you so much.
113
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,280
Just for the record,
I did not sign off on this.
114
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,640
But we've gotta be quick.
We should probably get a cab.
115
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:20,360
You have cabs here?
Of course. Have we never...?
116
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,720
Weird.
117
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,920
Muahaha!
118
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:33,160
Ow!
119
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,320
Why would...
Just take the cheese!
120
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,920
I'm so sorry. I didn't realise...
I'm really sorry.
121
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,800
You're sorry - great!
122
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:43,640
That'll help it grow back!
123
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,000
Unbelievable.
124
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,640
She may have stirred up
a few rebellions,
125
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:51,440
but this so called Chosen One
is no match for us.
126
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,680
Well, they don't give these
for nothing.
127
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,880
We've got the Battle
of Constipatol. 99 Years' War.
128
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,120
ALL: So close!
129
00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,440
And this for extraordinary valour.
130
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,720
Oh, I've gotta load of badges,
oh, oh!
131
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,640
Sorry, and these are for...?
132
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,680
Erm, camping.
133
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,200
Erm, knots
and, er, whatsitsface,
134
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,120
the one where they give you
the map and the compass.
135
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,160
Where did you get your jacket made?
136
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,400
This old thing?
137
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:22,160
And this one's for
slaying a mega-dragon!
138
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,560
You? Slayed a mega-dragon?
139
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:30,040
Two, actually. No - three.
140
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,360
-Hmm.
-Hmm.
141
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,680
It was a dark night in the swamps
of Astley.
142
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,560
We were bivouacking -
whacking beavers.
143
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,440
From dusk till dawn, my friend.
144
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,000
LAUGHTER
145
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,760
With my arm hanging by a thread,
146
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:46,320
I literally had to fight
the entire army single-handed.
147
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,600
Seems we underestimated you,
Negatus.
148
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,280
Word of your prowess in battle
never reached us.
149
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:55,440
Well, I mainly talk about
my charity work, so...
150
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,120
Excuse me, gentlemen.
151
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:02,760
Negatus, I'm running this seminar
for our most promising lieutenants.
152
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,360
Sounds to me like they might learn
a lot more from a veteran like you.
153
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:11,640
Oh, do you know I'm flattered,
but I've got this dodgy knee.
154
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,080
Nonsense. You're clearly
the best man for the job.
155
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,480
I insist.
156
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,520
And with you all behind me,
157
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,520
we can finally break through
the glass ceiling.
158
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,760
significantly increasing
headroom in the canteen.
159
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:31,520
So, for structural improvements
in the staff areas, vote Rita!
160
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,800
I'd keep things the same
but, erm...
161
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,560
better?
162
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,600
-Oh!Yeah!
-That's great, mate!
163
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,360
Well, I think that worked out
pretty well.
164
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,560
No, Jeff.
165
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,040
-It did not.
-Oh!
166
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,920
Well, that's the worst of it out.
And we managed to save your cat.
167
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,520
But...we don't have a cat.
168
00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:58,960
We do have a maintenance guy
whose head looks like a cat!
169
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,920
Yeah, he didn't make it.
170
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,120
Aw.
171
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:06,640
HE STRUGGLES AND PANTS
172
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,440
Here we are.
That'll be half a crown.
173
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:16,800
-Here you go. Keep the change.
-Ta.
174
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:20,160
Erm, why don't you put some wheels
on it? Make it easier?
175
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,200
-LAUGHS:
-And what if it snows, love?
176
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,920
I don't know!
177
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,400
HE HEAVES
178
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,600
Is this it?
Yep. Your home.
179
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:36,720
-FRANTIC:
-Beware all ye who enter
this dark and godless place!
180
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:41,640
For death and murder stains the very
walls and floors and woodwork
181
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,920
and fixtures and fittings
and sideboard and white goods
182
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,680
and there's some in the shed!
183
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,280
Did you say murder?
Murder!
184
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,600
Of the most foul and vile...
185
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,400
-NORMAL VOICE:
-This is number 32?
186
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:56,880
No, it's 23.
Oh, I am so sorry.
187
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,040
You can see how I... It's fine.
188
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,400
I'll speak to the office. Forget all
that. Sorry, I'll, erm, yeah...
189
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,000
-ON PHONE:
-Hello. Caroline?
It's happened again.
190
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,720
FLY SCREEN RATTLES
Who goes there?
191
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,040
Oh, hi.
192
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,200
Erm, my name's...
Debbie?
193
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:16,000
Debbie, I've been looking
everywhere for you!
194
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:19,120
You nearly missed your milky time,
poppet.
195
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,880
Well, come along then!
196
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:35,200
I knew it! I knew you'd be back.
197
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,280
And they told me I was mad.
198
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,760
NUM-NUMS!
199
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,720
Well, you showed them.
200
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,640
I'm sorry. I don't think
I remember...
201
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:47,840
Of course you do, you big silly!
I'm your Nanny Le Roo.
202
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:52,360
I raised you as a babe in arms,
right up to the day you...
203
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:56,680
Look.
204
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:03,240
There you are, with your little baby
eyes and your wee baby nose.
205
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,720
What with being a baby
and everything.
206
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:09,400
Yeah, well, what about...
Tyrell! Away from that door,
207
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:12,720
you know it's dangerous out there.
Come and get your biccy-wix.
208
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,920
Which reminds me,
you must have crumbling tums.
209
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,760
Pass me that muslin, dear.
210
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,720
What?
HE GASPS
211
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,400
Nanny, please!
212
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:22,640
What about my family?
213
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,240
Come this way.
214
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:27,720
Oh, thank God.
215
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,040
Here we are.
216
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:39,040
Your old nursery.
Hasn't been touched in Quillenia.
217
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,120
(Smells like it.)
Sh!
218
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,640
I'm not definitely saying
serial killer,
219
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,920
but we should think about
escape routes.
220
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,480
That was you.
221
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:52,080
With your button nose and your tiny
toes and your big fat wrists.
222
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,960
And that was...the other one.
223
00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:00,040
-GASPS:
-There it is!
224
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,200
Your mother.
225
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,360
If you can call her that.
226
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,440
Evil, some say.
227
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,040
Right cow, some say.
228
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,400
Seriously, can no-one else
smell that?
229
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,760
Oh, that'll be mine you can smell.
230
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,480
Damp - from the old mine.
231
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,440
Oh! Doesn't smell like damp.
232
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,880
Smells more like...
Oh, what is it?
233
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,400
Elf! You were saying,
about my parents.
234
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:31,880
You were a daddy's girl.
Lovely, he was. Nice legs, some say.
235
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:35,520
But your sister,
something was wrong wae her.
236
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:38,840
She had her mother in her.
The evil...
237
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,920
Don't say that.
You can't say that...
238
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:45,880
You weren't there! With you gone,
the darkness consumed her.
239
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,440
That's when your mother
took her away.
240
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:52,400
So who are all the other kids?
Orphans from the other lands.
241
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,880
I help them as best I can,
but there's only so many teats.
242
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:59,400
And with every land she takes,
more of them come.
243
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,360
I don't know where to put them all.
244
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,840
You could put a few in here.
245
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,120
Just give it an airing, like shift
the cot, put a bed over here.
246
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:10,560
No! Stop it, you're ruining it!
Why must you spoil everything?
247
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,680
Go! Get out!
248
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:19,040
Told ya - mad! Tenner says
there's bodies in the shed.
249
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,800
My name is Negatus.
250
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:26,440
And today I'm going to teach you how
to make even your most
251
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:30,160
hardened of enemy quake
and quiver with...
252
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,440
Hey, brother!
253
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,520
Ah, something like that.
I'll wing it.
254
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,200
All right, guys.
255
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:45,840
Oh.
256
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:49,000
Yeah, that. I was going to do that,
all right.
257
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,720
All righty, Richard,
258
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:55,040
my name is... Negat...
259
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:56,720
Is there an R in that?
260
00:13:58,400 --> 00:13:59,520
Nega...
261
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:03,120
Erm, sorry, this is
Battle Technique, yes?
262
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,800
Yes. Excellent. Well done.
263
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:10,960
So, the first rule of fighting..
club is...
264
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,080
Erm...
265
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,000
Should have written
something on those.
266
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,840
Practical. How about we kick off
with a little bit of practical?
267
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:27,040
Couple of volunteers, please. You,
sir, and your friend with the, er,
268
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,720
hmmmmmm.
269
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,640
The...
270
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,880
So, swords, let's get with it.
271
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:37,600
Now, then. I want you
to attack him...
272
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,560
Whoa, whoa, no, not yet!
273
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,360
If you do that, how's he supposed to
274
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,400
come at you with the old...and...
275
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,400
Couple more volunteers, please.
276
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,720
Nanny. Come on - this is silly.
277
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,080
Come on, Debbie. We should go.
278
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,520
Is it true?
279
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:01,760
Sorry?
280
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,480
That you're from
where they say you're from?
281
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,240
Oh. Yeah.
282
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,840
What's it like?
283
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:15,960
Well, in my world, the flowers don't
bite and taxis have wheels.
284
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,560
No. What's it like...
285
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,600
out there?
286
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:27,360
We were outside, weren't we?
287
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,080
The day I went, disappeared.
288
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,960
We were outside.
289
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,400
Nanny?
290
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,920
I was only away for a second.
291
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,880
And that's why you don't let
the kids out, isn't it?
292
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:41,440
You're punishing yourself,
so you never forget.
293
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,640
DOOR OPENS
294
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,520
It can't happen again.
295
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,440
I won't lose another one.
296
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,920
So, we both agreed Jeff's out
of the running, because of...
297
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,960
Oh, ha-ha-ha!
298
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,080
Oh, ha-ha-ha!
299
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,920
-..that.
-Yeah.
So it's just you and me now.
300
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:09,000
Let's settle this like intelligent,
mature, professionals.
301
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,200
Ready?
302
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:13,240
Girl, I was born ready!
303
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,800
Prepare to feel the reign of pain!
304
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,120
I hope you like the basement,
because you are going dow...
305
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,400
OW!
306
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,720
Dammit.
307
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,160
So you see, you didn't lose me.
I was taken.
308
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:30,240
By my father, and for good reason.
And I went to a wonderful place.
309
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,440
Birmingham?
310
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,360
To a good home. A good family.
311
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,160
And I've got one of my own now.
312
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,080
Look.
313
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,720
You see, you didn't do
-anything wrong.
-No?
314
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,560
Not a thing.
315
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,440
And they certainly didn't.
316
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,520
They should be playing. Out there.
317
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:53,240
But it's dangerous out there.
There's Negatus and her...
318
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,360
And what do you think will happen
-if you keep them in here?
-Nothing!
319
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,200
Nothing. Ever.
320
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,040
It's such a lovely day.
321
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,840
Negatus, how's it going in there?
322
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,080
Hey! Good, yeah, great.
323
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,800
Ah, a few teething problems
at first,
324
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,960
but, er, it's all pretty quiet now.
325
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:27,040
I was just popping for a cup
of hot flavoured...water.
326
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,280
Would you care to join me?
327
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,520
Yes, that sounds very nice.
Good.
328
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,920
Might just show my face
to the troops first, though.
329
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,440
Erm, I really wouldn't,
I think they'd rather...
330
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,720
Like I said, a few
teething problems.
331
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,720
Dismantling the glass ceiling
is just the beginning.
332
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,960
Next, I want to level
the playing field.
333
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,800
Because that lump by the goal
is really dangerous.
334
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,120
That's dangerous.
335
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,880
Jeffrey. These are highly skilled...
336
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,480
Agh!
337
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:02,480
Should probably have...
Cleared the canteen, yeah.
338
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:03,880
Sorry about that.
339
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,960
Smell that fresh air!
SHE SNIFFS
340
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,160
Ah!
341
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:16,960
One for the pouch.
342
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,840
Or just put it on a shelf
or something. Keep it...dry.
343
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,240
Nannies don't have favourites.
344
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,040
-WHISPERS:
-But if I did...
I know what it is!
345
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,680
-What?
-The smell.
It's not damp, it's...
346
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:30,280
CRASH!
347
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,680
..swamp gas.
348
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:43,440
Our home! Whatever will we do now?
349
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:47,440
Well, if shiny things in this world
work like shiny things in mine,
350
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,400
I think you might be all right.
351
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,200
Trubies!
352
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,040
We're rich!
353
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:54,960
Oh, we're rich!
354
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,040
Kids, we're rich, ho, ho!
355
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,920
Weird. Now she's rich,
she just seems eccentric.
356
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,520
Yeah!
357
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:08,560
You mean to say that, had Debbie not
remained in our realm,
358
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:12,560
49 helpless orphans would have died?
359
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,960
43. Is no-one writing this down?
360
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,560
My bad. My bad.
361
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,560
But otherwise, yes - the explosion
would have killed them all.
362
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,720
It's like she was
MEANT to be here.
363
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,760
Debbie was right to defy us.
364
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,720
How could we have been so blind?
365
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,400
If only she was here now.
366
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,240
-Hi.
-And she is!
367
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,880
ALL: Fate!
368
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,400
Debbie, we owe you an apology.
369
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,000
Well?
370
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,880
Well, not now. We owe it to you.
371
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,800
A note has been made and the account
will be settled in due course.
372
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:47,120
Of course, we must be sure to keep
you away from Imperatrix,
373
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,960
but today's events just goes
to prove how vital you are
374
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,600
to this realm,
regardless of what is written.
375
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,240
ALFIE GASPS
376
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,880
Breathe, Alfie. That's it.
377
00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:02,040
You are The Chosen One, Deb-beh,
and clearly your place is here,
378
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,280
among your people.
379
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,400
ALL: For a maximum of six hours
a day, five days a week,
380
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,920
no calls after 7pm,
except in emergencies.
381
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,560
As for the Elf...
382
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,720
For your part in today's episode,
383
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:20,360
our entire realm owes you
a great debt of gratitude.
384
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,080
But, technically
you did ignore our orders
385
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:24,760
so we're going to have you shot.
386
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,840
-What?!
-Only joking!
387
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,120
THEY LAUGH UPROARIOUSLY
388
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,440
Oh, come on! They didn't all die.
389
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,960
One of them just has
life-threatening injuries.
390
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,960
But as this Second Scroll
makes clear,
391
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,520
Debbie's presence
is a necessary evil.
392
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,800
Or should I say
"necessary for evil".
393
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,560
THEY TITTER
Silence!
394
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,880
The Elders have made it clear
that she will not forge
395
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,320
this union willingly.
396
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:53,240
So we have no choice
but to use force.
397
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,560
The gloves are off. I shall oversee
this development personally.
398
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:00,480
And mark my words...
399
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,240
..Debbie will be made to cooperate.
400
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:08,480
She will bend to my will, or others
will suffer the consequences.
401
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,560
Keith, I'm home! Sorry I'm late.
402
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,840
I went to the big one to get that
ham you like with the orange fluff.
403
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,360
But when you take a ticket now,
it's only the cheese...
404
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:23,680
It turned.
Oh, for the love of...
405
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:27,800
God, the Father, the Son
and the Holy Spirit.
406
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,040
Pete.
Can I speak to you in the kitchen?
407
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,360
For a sec?
408
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,160
-It's mine!
-But it's my turn!
409
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,000
I had it first!
410
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,040
Demons!
411
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,080
Oh, back so soon,
darkest of ages?
412
00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:45,720
Yeah, they let me go home early for
being so brilliant at everything.
413
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,280
What the hell has happened here?
414
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,120
-Burglars!
-Meteor strike!
James McAvoy!
415
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,160
Eh?!
416
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,840
My beautiful throne!
417
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,080
Who was in charge here?
418
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:02,440
Erm...
419
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,320
It doesn't feel like promotion.
420
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:07,640
Well, that's corporations for ya.
421
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:08,920
SHE GROANS
422
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,080
SPLAT!
423
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,240
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424
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,280
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