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1
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,760
♪ The Conga
2
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,600
♪ The Chosen One is gone, yeah!
3
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:15,640
♪ Do-do-do
4
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,640
♪ The Chosen One is gone, yeah!
5
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,360
♪ Do-do-do!
6
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,000
♪ The Chosen One is gone, yeah!
7
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,680
Yeah, I've got a pretty big budget
to play with.
8
00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:26,640
Got soft-close doors, underfloor
heating,
9
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:29,560
Pit of Eternal Despair, so...
# The Chosen One is gone, yeah!
10
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,880
That'll be the boss.
11
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,720
Anyone wanna see what
fawning praise looks like?
12
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,440
-Yeah!
-Strap in for the ride.
13
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:42,640
Yo! I know what you're gonna say,
but there's no need to thank me.
14
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,560
-I'm just doing my job.
-Imbecile!
15
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,880
-Problem?
-The portal was not closed,
you incompetent fool.
16
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,200
Debbie has returned.
17
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:58,800
Far, far ago, the Ancients
wrote upon the scrolls
18
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:01,640
that dark forces would sweep our
realm,
19
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,120
until only Yonderland remained.
20
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:05,760
But they told also of
21
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:11,200
'A saviour, come from a distant
world, to save us from the shadows,'
22
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,240
it says here.
23
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,040
That's impossible.
My minions saw her.
24
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:20,720
They were wrong. You were wrong.
25
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,520
And you know what happens to those
who fail me.
26
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,360
She has been summoned to
the Chamber of Elders.
27
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,640
Find our her aim there
28
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,920
and ensure she does not achieve it.
29
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:34,360
But the Chamber of Elders is open
only to the most trusted few.
30
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:38,960
To gain access would require a plan
of unimaginable guile and cunning.
31
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,000
You'll think of something.
32
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:45,160
And one deep pan Hawaiian.
33
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,640
Deep pan Hawaiian.
34
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,120
-Five garlic breads.
-Huh?
35
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,160
-To share.
-Oh.
36
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,320
And this is completely free?
37
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,560
Oh, yes. A special introductory
offer.
38
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,320
Two for the price of...none.
39
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,160
That is a good deal.
40
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,520
The Chosen One!
The Chosen One!
41
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,480
Argh! Are we still doing that?
42
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:09,320
Ooh, love the hands but,
then, I love hands.
43
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,280
They're gloves, I was cleaning the
house.
44
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,320
Which you promised me at least once
a week to do, which I never get,
45
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,440
cos there's always urgent news that
needs my immediate attention.
46
00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,960
Debbie, we have urgent news that
needs your immediate attention.
47
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:25,160
A great gift has been bestowed upon
-us.
-I'm having the pepperoni.
48
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,800
-Not that.
-Oh.
49
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:30,920
Debbie, we would like you to meet
King Bernard of the elves folk.
50
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:35,360
They told me of your great wisdom,
but not your boundless beauty.
51
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,360
I said she had lovely -
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
52
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,200
What?
53
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,320
This is intoxicating.
It's Harpic.
54
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:47,160
His Majesty has come into
possession of a most precious map.
55
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,920
I believe it leads to the fabled
tomb of Emperor Pang.
56
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,960
Lakes of blood were spilled in the
quest to find it.
57
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,040
Careless!
The only problem is...
58
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,240
we've been unable to decipher the
map's cryptic code.
59
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,880
Well, let's have a look, then.
60
00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:05,080
We believe the big blue area
represents the sky.
61
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,720
-No, that..that's the sea.
-Oh, yes.
62
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,840
Which is why it meets that green
lake.
63
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,880
-Land.
-Oh!
64
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,760
Of course. How else could it
support those giant snakes?
65
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,240
-Roads.
-Oh!
Remarkable.
66
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,280
But where's the tomb?
67
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:22,640
Well, the X marks the spot.
Oh!
68
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:26,160
We thought it stood for X-tra
dangerous!
69
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:29,400
-Of course you did.
-Perhaps Debbie
should come with me.
70
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,000
I mean, I'd love to,
but I'm cleaning the house, so...
71
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:35,680
You make it sound like it's hard.
It's menial, it can't take long.
72
00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:37,960
Excellent. The Elf will do it.
Right.
73
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,200
-Hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-Great.
All yours.
74
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,800
What's so special about this tomb?
Treasure and stuff?
75
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,960
We would hardly have summoned you
were it simply treasure.
76
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,640
The shogun who surrendered this map
to me told me this,
77
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,800
that the tomb is being used to hide
something.
78
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,480
Something of the greatest
importance to you, Debbie.
79
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,840
The Prophecy of the Chosen One's
fate.
80
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,440
The key to your very purpose
in this realm.
81
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,880
The second scroll.
82
00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:07,480
One pepperoni, two meat feast -
extra large -
83
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,240
No, no, that's the food order.
84
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,960
-So?
-I don't need to hear that.
85
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,800
Of course.
86
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,840
So where should I er...?
87
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,880
It was a ruse, Neil,
to gain access.
88
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,360
Yeah, Neil, we're not
actually gonna make the food.
89
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,760
-Get someone else to do that.
-I'm
quite good at curry.
90
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:26,000
No, no-one's making food. There is
no food.
91
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,040
-Brilliant.
-You ARE evil.
92
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,800
So where is this tomb, then?
93
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:34,000
-Sorry?
-Please tell me you made a
copy of the map.
94
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,080
Erm... Unbelievable.
95
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:40,320
Just when I think you couldn't get
any more incompetent.
96
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,480
Don't worry, your darker than
blackness,
97
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,960
I have a photographic memory.
98
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,400
Oh, yes. Just like a photograph...
Mmm.
99
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,280
-..of a terrible drawing.
-Mm.
100
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,160
We must gather our strength for the
journey ahead.
101
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,840
Will you join me for breakfast?
102
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,400
Truffles? Meat strips? Peanut
butter?
103
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,440
Erm... I -I don't mind if I do.
104
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,760
Uh-uh-uh, not for you.
You've got work to do.
105
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,200
Do I look like a cleaning troll to
-you?
-A bit.
106
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,560
Anyway, I thought you said cleaning
-was easy.
-Fine.
107
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:22,080
Where on earth did you get
that linseed oil, you naughty girl?
108
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,760
Oh, where are we?
109
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:28,240
Don't forget to pack my fur-trimmed
robes.
110
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,960
I want to look my best when I slay
the mega-dragon,
111
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,040
or whatever it is that guards this
-scroll.
-Of course, sire.
112
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:37,040
What could be more vital on a
perilous journey into the unknown
113
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,160
than wardrobe options
Exactly.
114
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,480
Do you always eat out here?
I try to.
115
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,440
It pleases my people to see their
king.
116
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,160
Oh, what! He's on the balcony!
Truffle?
117
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,200
-Eat my pie!
-Go on! Have that!
118
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:51,920
Yes, the quests are expensive too,
but I fancy my heroic reputation
119
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,040
earns me the love and respect of
my people.
120
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,840
Here you go! One lump or two?
121
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,680
Like that, do you?
122
00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,960
They don't seem terrible keen.
It's just a few troublemakers.
123
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,800
The rest of my people love me,
124
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,040
and why wouldn't they, when I'm so
impressive?
125
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,880
The clothes, the crown, this
magnificent castle...
126
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,520
I had to knock down half of
the town to make room for it.
127
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,680
-Wow!
-And they all clubbed together
to pay for it.
128
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,440
In a way - I raised taxes.
129
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,680
They must feel proud when they look
at it from their humble shacks.
130
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,320
Sire, your carriage is ready,
131
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,280
but what with all you're what we'll
loosely call necessities,
132
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,680
there is room for
but one companion.
133
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,720
Then Debbie shall ride with me.
134
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,240
And what should I do, sire? Jog
alongside
135
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,840
-Yes. That's a good idea.
-Excellent.
136
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,400
Precisely the sort of repetitive
jolting motion
137
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,400
my arthritic hip
has been crying out for?
138
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,640
Everybody's happy, then. Huh? Huh?
139
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,920
Hm.
140
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,280
I'm telling you, we're going round
in circles.
141
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,920
Halt! Cease!
142
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,960
Stop the mobility sleigh!
143
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,000
Where in Realm are we?
144
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,040
Should we have turned right back
there?
145
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,920
Hm. We're definitely lost.
146
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:19,640
But, at the same time, I'm 99% sure
I remembered the map wrong.
147
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,440
So I don't ever think we weren't.
Great
148
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,680
Well?
Your Eminence, how beautiful -
149
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,120
-Do you have her?
-Very nearly, Your
Eminence.
150
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,360
-We're tracking her right now.
-Good.
151
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,680
Do not fail me.
152
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,840
Ah! Very good, Geoff.
153
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,880
Are you picking up the trail?
154
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:43,720
No, I just wondered what it tasted
-like.
-Oh!
155
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,960
I'm so dead.
156
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,800
Is that entirely necessary, Geoff?
157
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,520
Sorry, I've got a bit of earth
in my throat.
158
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:10,560
How am I supposed to sleep?
159
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,640
Those are just Hugits, My Lord.
160
00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:14,680
Noisy, but harmless.
161
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,680
The only deadly thing in
these woods is the Vanthrigores.
162
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,640
They come down from the trees, dig
into your belly,
163
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,680
and eat you from the inside-out,
yeah.
164
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,400
And they're completely silent,
165
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,120
so there's no point in worrying
about the noise.
166
00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,080
Good night.
167
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,360
Your shelter is almost complete, my
liege.
168
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:45,880
The treasure itself was guarded by
a family of giant Cyclops.
169
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,520
No, no, no, no problem at all
170
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:51,080
Any other questing knight would've
gone for the father, do battle,
171
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,760
risk death, ya-da-da-ya-da.
172
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:56,280
Not me. I go for the kids.
Get them out the way.
173
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,440
Parents are wracked with grief.
They're sitting ducks.
174
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,880
You know your eyes are very
beautiful when you're impressed?
175
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,520
I think I might call it a night.
176
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,320
(You shall stay in my shelter,
this night.)No way...
177
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,000
..c-could I possibly impose
upon you, like that.
178
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:13,080
-I've brought a tent.
-Nonsense, you
must share my bed.
179
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,840
My sheets are made of the softest,
finest silk,
180
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,080
woven by the tiny hands of orphan
children.
181
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,080
I've got a sleeping bag. Production
methods are quite similar.
182
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,200
It's been a long day, hasn't it?
I know it sounds cheesy,
183
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,280
but I feel as if I can share with
you.
184
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,960
It's like you know me. It's almost
like you can see right through me.
185
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,120
I wrote this song on a quest -
a lang tyme agoo.
186
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,160
A long time ago.
187
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,920
I didn't know it then, but it's all
about you.
188
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:49,400
♪ Oh, my home it is a palace
189
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:53,240
♪ I am Lord of all I see
190
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,360
♪ I have fought in great battles
191
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,560
♪ Plundered great treasures
192
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:02,240
♪ And been all that I had hoped
I would be
193
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:06,760
♪ Yet I feel something is missing
194
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,440
♪ Should've known it from the start
195
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,040
♪ I've ignored too long
196
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,160
♪ This longing
197
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:19,680
♪ That's deep inside my heart
198
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:25,280
♪ I'm a king
199
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:29,080
♪ But what's
a king without a queen?
200
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,800
♪ I may be rich and charming
201
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,840
♪ But it's all going to waste
202
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,480
♪ What's a royal seed
203
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:39,120
♪ Without a fertile field to
germinate?
204
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,160
♪ Oh!
205
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:45,120
♪ He's the King
# I'm the King
206
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:49,320
♪ But what's
a king without a queen?
207
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,360
♪ I may be strong and handsome
208
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,800
♪ But there's so much inside
209
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,280
♪ If you play your cards right,
baby
210
00:10:56,320 --> 00:11:00,200
♪ You can be my lucky bride
211
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:05,240
♪ Oh, finally I've seen
212
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,120
♪ Every king
213
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,160
♪ He needs...
214
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:21,960
♪ ..a queen ♪
215
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,320
I need a wee.
216
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,160
That's weird. It usually works.
217
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,480
I think you're a bit off on the
harmonies.
218
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,960
Yes, sire, that would be the
-problem.
-Yeah.
219
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,760
-Yeuch!
-Worth a try.
220
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,480
I need a wee.
221
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,720
Well, I can't go if you're gonna
stare at me.
222
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,760
Sorry, mate.
223
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,480
All right. You win.
224
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,800
Well, there are other trees, you
know.
225
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,640
That's the stuff.
226
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,680
Whoa!
227
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,120
Hello?
Who's that?
228
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,760
You!
229
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,120
Demons, wake up! It's her!
230
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,000
Yeah, I'm telling you there is no
T-minor. It -Guys!
231
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,440
It's Negatus, he's here! Quick! Run!
232
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,640
Come on!
-Come on!
233
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,840
-Wait for me!
-This way!
234
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,480
-Miss Fanshawe?
-Yes?
235
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,520
Rachel... Oh!
236
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:31,280
I brought you to this well, because
its depth expresses perfectly
237
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,840
the depth of my feelings for you.
238
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,320
Oh, Mr Havelock!
239
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,360
How oft have I made a wish here?
240
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,040
Always the same one.
241
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,240
What was that wish, Mr Havelock?
242
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,480
That you might do me the honour
of...
243
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,520
-Coming through!
-Sorry!
244
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:54,720
Whoa! Oh!
245
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:58,280
Mr Havelock, for a moment there,
I thought you were going to...
246
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,800
Mr Havelock!
247
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,440
JUST SAY IT!
248
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,360
-Straight ahead. That must be it.
-Go.
249
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,080
Quick! This way!
250
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,960
-Oh, new faces.
-Mm. Been a while.
251
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000
It's a dead end.
252
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,520
It's all right. I think we've lost
them.
253
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,040
Yeah, I'm not 100% convinced about
that.
254
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,880
-What's she come as?
-Don't!
255
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,880
Oh, yes!
256
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,240
So much for the Chosen One.
Imperatrix will be pleased.
257
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:37,600
She'll have both her fateful scroll
and your head.
258
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,680
That's probably what the second
scroll foretells, innit?
259
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,760
That you lose and we'll win.
260
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,520
-We'll win!
-What scroll?
261
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,320
Where's your sword?
I left it behind.
262
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,600
-But you brought your guitar?
-I was
panicking.
263
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,840
Time's up, Debbie. Tick-tock.
264
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:59,520
You know, I'm not usually one for
big speeches, but er...
265
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,560
Hm?
266
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,600
Oh!
267
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,160
..but I'd just like to say...
268
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,840
Flipping ow!
269
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,880
Quick!
270
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,920
Forget that, stop them!
271
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,800
I've got it, I've got it, I've got
it, I've got it, I've got it.
272
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:20,920
Ow! Ow!
273
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,600
Motherfishcakes! Ow!
274
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,360
Oh, now, that is gonna swell up.
Oh, don't.
275
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,360
Oh, wow! I mean... I mean, this
is...
276
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,600
Well, don't just stand there, look
-for the scrolls!
-We're rich!
277
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,320
We're rich! We're loaded! We're
-rich!
-What are you doing?
278
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,120
-Look for the scroll!
-It isn't here.
279
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:45,200
How do you know? We've hardly
-looked.
-It was never here, I lied.
280
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,080
-He does that.
-What?
281
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,560
You mean you nearly got me killed
for nothing?
282
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,880
For nothing? Look at all this! You
can have some.
283
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:55,240
No, I don't want any, I came for the
scroll. Why did you lie to me?
284
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,120
Because if I hadn't have lied, you
would never have helped me.
285
00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,880
I need this treasure, Debbie.
286
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,480
I'm going to build a statue of
myself so magnificent
287
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:06,000
that I will finally win over those
last few hecklers.
288
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,040
The armour will be pure silver.
289
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,080
The skin, pure gold.
290
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:16,160
And my eyes shall sparkle with
beautiful sapphire.
291
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,120
Right. That's not a good sound.
292
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,160
There's no way out!
293
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,760
-What are we gonna do?
-Maybe if we
put the jewel back on the plinth...
294
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:30,760
Oh, no, not that!
I'm not
ready to die. Not now, not here.
295
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,800
We need something to brace the walls
with.
296
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:36,560
-My pleasure!
-Oh, will I never feel
what it was like to be loved?
297
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,400
I thought you said everyone loved
-you?
-Of course they don't.
298
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,520
Everybody hates me. I'm a terrible
king.
299
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,040
I'd give anything to die with the
love of my people!
300
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,360
Oh! So much for the Chosen One!
301
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,720
Oh, good day.
302
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,560
Hello.
303
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,760
Oh!
304
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,240
Ah! Oh!
305
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,240
Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
306
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,280
Not there. No. Don't...
307
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,080
Ow.
308
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,480
You're surprisingly strong.
309
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,520
I do a lot of tapestry.
310
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,720
Deborah, we should away before they
find a way out.
311
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:32,200
Yeah. Erm, thank you, both of you,
and I hope it works out for you.
312
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,440
Oh, Mr Havelock! Thank goodness
you're safe!
313
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,680
I'm afraid, Miss Fanshawe... Yes?
314
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,120
..that I lost the engagement ring.
Oh.
315
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,640
Although I did find a replacement.
316
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,680
A fitting tribute to your...
317
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,000
Oh, yes! There he goes!
318
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,760
-Ready?
-Do I have to?
319
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,640
You said you'd do anything to learn
the love of your people.
320
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,360
I was going to die, Debbie,
I wasn't thinking straight.
321
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,320
Look, it's easy. If you do nice
things, people like you.
322
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:05,920
It's not rocket science.
Rocket...?
323
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,040
Oh, it doesn't matter, just go. Go
on.
324
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,440
I don't believe it.
325
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,560
Oh, look here he is, on the balcony
again.
326
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,600
This will be good
All right, mate?
327
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,240
Gather round, peasants.
That's charming, innit
328
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,440
Gather round, commoners, and listen
to your mighty king!
329
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,480
-How was that?
-Very slightly better.
330
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:28,240
I know that some of you think
that I am a...
331
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,040
Cretin.
OK.
332
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:34,040
Many of you think that I am a-
333
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,680
-Tyrant.
-Cretin.
334
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,120
-You said that one already, mate.
-No
I didn't, mate.
335
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,640
But I only ever wanted your -
336
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,960
Money.
337
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,800
-I was going to say respect.
-Yeah,
well, good luck with that, mate.
338
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:50,560
Can everyone shush for a second,
OK, and hear what he has to say?
339
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,600
Ooh! Shush-shush-shush
340
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,000
I've got to know him, over the past
--few days.
-Oh, right?
-I bet you have.
341
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,200
He's not evil.
He's just a bit of a -
342
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,040
-Cretin, innit?
-A twit.
343
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,960
Yes, good word.
344
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,240
Carry on. They're listening.
-Go on. Quick.
-OK.
345
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,560
I only wanted to be
a great king, you know,
346
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:11,040
and I thought that castles and
monuments and statues
347
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,080
would make you think that I was.
348
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:17,720
But I realise now that I cannot buy
your love.
349
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:22,160
Which is why I've decided to give
you this treasure.
350
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,000
-What?
-What?
351
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,600
--Oh, yeah.
-Is that it?
-That's a
game-changer, mate
352
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,640
Brilliant
Yeah!
353
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,800
Thank you, sire.
354
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,840
Oh! Oh!
355
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,800
Take it! Take it all!
356
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,840
I'm gonna leave you to it.
357
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,120
Take it all!
358
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:50,880
Yeah, look! Look at that!
Cheers, King.
359
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:54,400
Thank you, Debbie. This
feels amazing.
360
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,440
Oh, he's all right, isn't he, eh?
361
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,440
We love you, King Bernard!
What the heck?
362
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:04,240
King Bernard! King Bernard!
363
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,520
Hm.
364
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,680
Only me, Debs.
365
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,360
I'm just changing ties. I'm dressed
like the client.
366
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,400
We've got similar hair and...
Er...
367
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,680
That's good quality, that.
368
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,560
-Wait, wait! That's my stuff.
-No, it
isn't.
369
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,200
-Tat's my husband.
-My brother.
370
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,960
Hey! Excuse me! That's my dress.
Where did you...?
371
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,480
Hi, I'm really sorry, but that's
actually my dress.
372
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,360
I thought you were all about
-sharing.
-I am, but...
373
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,880
Do you know what? It's fine. It's
fine. Keep the dress.
374
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:47,920
Oh, thank you, Chosen One. Come on,
-let's go down the lake.
-Yes.
375
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,120
Oh. Easy was it?
376
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,160
Well, I had a few teething
problems...
377
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,800
-Did you find the scroll?
-No, not
this time.
378
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,600
But we drive a steel spike through
Negatus' foot, so...
379
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,640
Oh, I hope that's as bad as it
sounds.
380
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,320
-For me?
-Sire.
381
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,360
Oh!
382
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:09,320
Chamberlain, you never actually
thought that I was a twit, did you?
383
00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:12,120
On the contrary, sir,
I consider you to be
384
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,840
the very pinnacle of
God's creative endeavours.
385
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,880
Oh, thank you. Hang on.
386
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,240
You're really sarcastic,
aren't you?
387
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:24,000
No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
388
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:25,840
Oh, sorry, my mistake.
389
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,880
I spy with my little eye,
390
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,400
something beginning with M.
391
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,840
-Ooh.
-M? M?
392
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,880
-Monkey?
-Uh?
393
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,960
-Can you see a monkey, Geoff?
-No.
394
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,280
Well, that's not the answer, then,
is it?
395
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,080
Oh, no.
396
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,520
Well?
397
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,560
So...
398
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,960
It's a funny story, erm...
399
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,000
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