Original subtitles

(dramatic music)

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(wolf howling)

(sneakers screeching)

(whistle ringing)

- Come on, boys!

That was pathetic.

I want to see sweat.

Hey, are you playing?

- Timothy needs a ball.

- He needs my balls.

(laughing)

- You wish.

- [Coach] Ready boys?

- [Students] Ready sir.

- Ready fancy feet?

(laughing)

(whistle blows)

(boys shouting)

(dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)

(whistle blows)

- Excellent, men!

Showers!

- Hey, relate thy Shakes-queer crap.

- Hey, that catholic is four-hundred years old,

it doesn't make sense.

- It does to anyone with a brain.

- Brain but no dick.

- Eh, all I know is rugby.

- Hey, rugby rocks, give it up!

Hey, good try.

- I'm so proud of you Timmy.

- My name's Timothy.

- My name's Timothy too.

- You need some ice?

- I can handle it.

(bell rings)

- Nice eye shadow.

(laughing)

- Gentlemen, you will not disrespect a soul in here.

Today, I challenge you to write in verse.

Remembering William Shakespeare?

Scribe away your thoughts and feelings boldly on a page.

"What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?"

- "What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?"

- "I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again."

- "I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again."

- "Love looks not with the eyes,

but with the mind."

- "Love looks not with the eyes,

but with the mind."

- "And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."

- "And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."

(dramatic music)

♪ Oh, Timothy. ♪

♪ Timothy. ♪

♪ Oh, Timothy. ♪

♪ Oh, Timothy. ♪

(bell ringing)

- Timothy, oh, Timothy.

A Midsummer Night's Dream.

The spring senior play.

Auditions are Friday.

- I'm not an actor.

- All the world's a stage.

Awaken and empower what's within.

- I'd rather not.

(melancholic music)

(grunts)

- Let's go, catch!

- He's skinny.

- He's cute.

(boys shouting)

(coach whistles)

- Here he comes.

Your boyfriend is, ah.

You like watching us out there?

- I love watching you play.

- I bet you do.

- Ah!

- Someone's jumpy today.

- What the hell happened to you?

- Ouch.

- Was it a golf ball?

- Nope.

- Right, no blood.

♪ Poor, pathetic gay fool, in an all-dude school. ♪

- Go ahead.

♪ Where the bullies are stereotypes, ♪

♪ Save our boy from all this overly beleaguered ♪

♪ And obvious hype. ♪

- Was it in basketball?

- Not in season.

♪ Oh, I'm in a tizzy, about my friend Timmy ♪

♪ It's such a pity, my friend Timmy ♪

♪ Poor, poor, ♪

♪ Poor, poor, poor, poor Timothy. ♪

- Baseball?

♪ The balls they just don't stop coming ♪

♪ Too bad they ain't the balls he's wanting ♪

♪ The irony is just as sad as this poor horn dog, ♪

♪ Before my eyes. ♪

- It was a dodge ball.

- That's boring.

- Where is the pretty free school?

- State law.

Fags play one hour of sports a day, and they get beat up.

- Need a bodyguard?

- Yeah, right.

What you need to do is stand up and fight for yourself.

- Oh, since when did you start giving advice like that?

- Since I started my own personal revolution.

Oh, are you gonna be in Ms. T's play?

- I don't have a choice.

Come on.

- I heard she's a dyke.

- Ms. Tebbit?

- Drinks soy milk.

- I drink soy milk.

- Plays guitar

Makes her own cloths.

Emancipated herself from her parents when she was sixteen.

- I am not a lesbian, that's your fantasy.

I'm hetero-flexible.

- [Tim] You know, why don't you two just get it on already?

I've tried.

- Have you?

Hetero-flexible?

- I'm straight, but shit happens.

- Let's go, love birds.

♪ Oh, I'm in a tizzy, about my friend Timmy ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ I wanna be a rock star ♪

- Timmy!

Timothy sugar, I need your muscles a minute.

Thanks for the help, boys.

You're home early.

- No, I'm not.

- What happened?

- It was an accident.

- So was that.

- Why do I work my ass off

to put you in that goddamn school?

- Finally get a job?

- Your father was right.

- I don't have a father.

- I should just lock you up in your room.

You know what I'm sacrificing?

Tell him I did get a job.

- It was just a dodge ball.

- Honey?

- So what do you think of these?

- They're perfect, actually.

Harder.

- You look nice.

You look really good.

Amazing.

- Smile, bitch.

Just 'cause I'm wearing this dress, doesn't mean.

- Hey, girl.

Hot fire, hot fire.

So what dead tribunal was it

that you stole these boots from?

- Oh, cute, it's my mom actually.

- Oh, your mom.

Oh, she died?

- No, what?

(knocking on door)

- Goodnight, sugar.

(rock music)

Don't screw this up.

Oh, god.

Damn it.

(doorbell rings)

(knocking on door)

Hi, I'm Donna. - Yes.

Not interested.

(knocking on door)

What is it?

- I'm here for the training.

- Oh, eh, Donna?

Well, yes, do come in.

It's quite atrocious out there.

I thought you were due to come on Thursday,

Eh, well, c'est la vie.

Ah, how are you this afternoon?

You're spirits?

- I'm good.

- Good, no, first lesson, you are never good.

At Nora Fay you're grand.

Oh, don't worry darling, it's only water.

Come on.

- Loo, loo, loo.

I'm better without the piano.

- I'll take your word.

(piano music)

- This shit is thick.

- Well don't rub so hard, dear.

Here.

There, you see, gently.

There.

Now, let's move on to the lips.

Is that your, normal shade?

There.

See, with your coloring,

I would say maybe a lilac delight, yes.

Alright, here.

Now, strong women wear lipstick.

Too strong.

- I see their knavery, this is to make an ass of me.

To fright.

Is this a girl's part?

- You are dismissed.

- Just so you know, I'm growing out a goatee.

- Oh.

Delightful.

- Time's up!

We have ten minutes more.

- What a team, you're time is up.

- Your little warriors may enter in ten minutes,

until then, the stage is ours.

- That stage made for better storage.

- Where were we?

- I was about to make a fool of myself.

- My dear, do not limit yourself.

Nora Fay can take you

to the edge of your imagination and beyond.

- Is this you?

- Was.

- You were a singer?

- Was.

- Is this is your husband?

- Is.

- Really?

- Alright.

- In front of Morgan Hill.

- Yes, enough questions.

- My kid just started there.

- Ah.

- Did yours go there?

- Oh, god, no, I bore no children.

No, I thank the lord above for the grace

he gave me just to spawn Nora Fay.

Come dear.

- And the youth, mistook by me,

pleading for a lover's fee.

I don't even know what I'm saying.

- That will come.

Shall we their fond pageant see?

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

- Agreed, indeed.

Let's sing.

- Sing?

♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪

♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪

♪ Loo, loo, loo, ♪

♪ Loo, loo, ♪

♪ Loo, loo, loo. ♪

Now you.

- I don't know it.

- Follow me.

Loo, loo, loo,

♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪

♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪

♪ Loo, loo ♪

♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪

♪ Loo, loo ♪

♪ Loo, loo ♪

With the lyrics.

Deep breath.

♪ We fairies, that do run ♪

♪ From the presence of the sun ♪

♪ We follow darkness like a dream. ♪

♪ Like a dream. ♪

♪ Oh. ♪

- Who is that?

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, oh. ♪

♪ We fairies, that do run, ♪

♪ From the presence of the sun, ♪

♪ We follow darkness like a dream. ♪

♪ Be as thou wast wont to be ♪

♪ See as thou wast wont to see ♪

♪ Be as thou wast wont to be ♪

♪ See as thou wast wont to see ♪

♪ Be as thou wast wont to be ♪

♪ See as thou wast wont to see ♪

♪ Be as thou wast wont to be ♪

♪ See as thou wast wont to see ♪

♪ Be as thou wast wont to be ♪

♪ See as thou wast wont to see ♪

♪ Be as thou wast wont to be ♪

♪ See as thou wast wont to see ♪

♪ Be as thou wast wont to be ♪

♪ See as thou wast wont to see ♪

- Looks like I'm one of the lovers.

- I'm not shaving.

- You sure are the jackass.

- At least the jackass doesn't have to wear a dress.

- What is Thisby?

Is that a chick?

- Hey, Ms. T, come on.

- Congratulations, gentleman.

Awaken and empower what's within.

- Nice pipes.

I heard you audition.

- I saw the list.

- Good afternoon, it's going to be superb.

So many fascinating.

- I thought I told you my boys

don't got time for those parts.

- Must I remind you that

Morgan Hill's philosophy clearly states

that academics transcends athletics.

- Larry will side with me on this one.

- I'll note you in my book of memory.

- Puck.

- Is Puck in the play?

- What play?

- The senior play.

- Oh, scribble cheese.

- He's the main fairy.

- Fairy?

- It's a great part.

- A fairy?

- Kick-ass fairy.

- You have lines to memorize.

We need a plan of attack.

- This is great.

- Sick, aren't they?

- Sick?

- I jest to Oberon and make him smile.

When I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile,

Neighing in likeness of a filly foal.

And sometime lurk I in a gossip's bowl.

In very likeness of a roasted crab,

and when she drinks, against her lips I bob.

(upbeat music)

- This is for Helena.

(laughing)

- [Student] Where is the rest of it?

- One of my personal favorites.

Patience, Dr. Bellinger.

I've not forgotten about your frock.

These are for the Pyramus and Thisby finale.

Which I have reinvented as an incredibly hip song.

- That's hot, Ms. T.

- Shakespeare was meant for the masses.

♪ So let the people who talk ♪

♪ This Monday morning walk ♪

♪ Parts are fabulous ♪

- How now, spirit, whither wander you?

- I mistake your shape and making quite,

or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite.

Called Robin Goodfellow are not you he

that frights the maidens of the villagery.

- Thou speak'st aright,

I am that merry wanderer of the night.

(bell ringing)

- Mm, third time's a charm.

Alright now, remember my dear,

there are no limitations.

- Yeah, right, right.

(bell rings)

- Oh, you're early.

- Oh, we could.

- Couldn't wait one moment more

to show off my newest protege.

- Nora Fay, oh, I'm honored.

Did you bring the new lotions?

- Darling, we brought everything.

- Go ahead.

- [Coach] She doesn't get it.

- Ms. Tebbit, this year's varsity rugby team

is one of the best in the history of our institution.

- So, this has nothing to do with time requirements.

- We're concerned about the tradition.

Members of the rugby team portraying females.

- Truth be told.

- It's bad for morale, you're embarrassing them.

- Only because you've trained them

to cast judgment upon each other.

- Ms. Tebbit, the academy is concerned

that we're sending the wrong message.

- The academy has been staging Shakespeare

in this fashion for fifty-six years.

- We live in a different time.

- Your ignorance of the history of this academy

and the history of the theater is offensive.

- Ms. Tebbit.

- Women were prohibited by law

to act on the Elizabethan stage.

Men filled the void.

If this confabulation is about

your insecurities with sexuality

or the sexuality of your warriors.

- I don't have any issues with my sexuality.

- Midsummer Night's Dream is the senior play.

The cast is chosen.

Thank you, gentlemen.

(rain pattering)

(guitar strumming)

- [Tim] Jock boy?

- I think he wants you.

- I think he wants to kick my ass.

- Yeah, well, I think my star quality is rubbing off on you.

- Why don't you rub up on Max a little bit, ha?

- Maxi, it's never gonna happen.

- Then stop waiting for it.

♪ Maybe that's why, ♪

♪ Max don't even try, ♪

♪ To rub and kiss and suck my thigh ♪

♪ Or give me the time of day, ♪

♪ 'Cause he's gay, he's gay, he's gay. ♪

- He's not gay.

Mom, mom!

You know, Ms. Tebbit needs a band for the play.

- Really, hey!

- Where we going?

- It's wet out here, you'll catch a cold.

- You look beautiful.

- Right.

- Training was good?

- Apparently, I've got a lot of learning to do.

- She said that?

I know I can sell that shit

if she just let me out of the door with it.

I miss your daddy.

- Dad's an asshole.

We were better off.

- What?

- You didn't even try.

He kicked me out.

- You left.

- You can have him, I'm fine.

- I see, you rather live with Frankie again?

She's a better mother?

- You're my mother!

Like it or not.

- Why are you gay?

What did I do?

- You didn't make me queer.

- Don't use that word, Timothy.

- Nobody did, I'm just queer, ok?

So deal with it.

- Go to hell.

I do deal with it, Timothy.

Every day I deal with it.

You're not the only one who has it rough around here.

Every single day I come out of the closet, just like you.

This is not just your problem,

it's both of ours, and I'm trying.

(upbeat techno music)

(boys shouting)

- Hey, over here!

Good form.

- What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?

♪ Now I'm lost and screaming for help ♪

♪ Relax, take it easy ♪

♪ For there is nothing that we can do. ♪

♪ Relax, take it easy ♪

♪ Blame it on me or blame it on you. ♪

♪ It's as if I'm scared. ♪

♪ It's as if I'm terrified. ♪

♪ It's as if I scared. ♪

♪ It's as if I'm playing with fire. ♪

♪ Scared. ♪

♪ It's as if I'm terrified. ♪

♪ Are you scared' ♪

♪ Are we playing with fire' ♪

- Good form, he said that?

Isn't he like super jock?

- Come on, keep going.

Demetrius says, "Yea, art thou there?"

- Follow my voice we'll try no manhood here.

- You need that manhood for your jock boy.

- That's not what it means.

- Oh, man.

- Courage, they're about to fight for love.

- My gentle Puck, come hither, thou rememberest,

That very time I saw, but thou couldst not.

Cupid all armed a certain aim he took

at a fair vestal throned by.

- Vestal, throned by the west.

And loosed his love-shaft smartly from his bow,

As it should pierce a hundred thousand hearts

Go on.

- Yet marked I where the bolt of Cupid fell.

It fell upon a little western flower,

before milk-white, now purple with love's wound,

- Luscious, continue.

- Fetch me that flower the herb I shewed thee once.

- The juice of it on sleeping eye-lids laid

will make or man or woman madly dote.

Upon the next live creature that it sees.

- I'll put a girdle round about the earth

in forty minutes.

- Having once this juice,

I'll watch Titania when she is asleep,

and drop the liquor of it in her eyes.

- The next thing then she waking looks upon,

she shall pursue it with the soul of love.

- I would love to have you stay for bible studies.

- I have wings to make.

- It's a puddler.

- No, for my son, he's a fairy.

- A fairy?

- In a play.

- Ow.

- Well, in real life too.

He's gay, my son is gay, or queer.

But the wings are for the play.

- A man shall not lay with man.

- Do you want the damn eye cream or not?

(bell rings)

- Now, with the soul of love,

I ask of you the memorization of act three tonight.

Timothy, how's your text coming?

- I'm trying, but I don't understand half it.

- Unite rhythm with words,

and they will unlock to empower you.

Like a midsummer night's dream come true.

Take pains, be perfect, adieu.

- [Coach] Down, up.

- Nine.

- [Coach] Down, up.

- Ten.

(boys shouting)

- Come on, go faster.

Go, go, go.

- Come on.

- Who did it?

- Oh, look who just flew in from fairy land.

- Did you?

- Hey bud, calm down.

- Who did it?

- Let's walk.

- Faggot!

(boys shouting)

- Get out of here.

It's not worth it.

(dramatic music)

- I'll put a girdle round about the earth in forty minutes.

Put a girdle.

Girdle.

I'll put a girdle round about the earth in forty minutes.

I'll put a girdle round about the earth.

(upbeat music)

- [Narrator] Cupid's love juice.

Secure upon-sat stones of promontory.

Sparked essence of the madly shooting stars.

One drop or two of anything watery.

Some semblance of a milk-white western flower.

Fulfill a pot of purely mineral with ingredients

which you've gathered carefully.

Upon said bowl, bestow harmonious breath.

Til thou remember'st pure whose love you seek.

- Whose love you seek.

- [Narrator] Allow this precious time to meditate

Their quenched thirst your just deserved prize!

- Deserved prize.

- [Narrator] United they conspire to charm your mate

With purple liquor destined for love's eyes.

Now with a deft and musical note, rejoice.

- To give your deepest love-desire strong voice.

♪ I see their knavery ♪

♪ This is to make an ass of me ♪

♪ To fright me, if they could. ♪

♪ But I will not stir from this place, ♪

♪ Do what they can ♪

♪ I will work up and down here ♪

♪ And I will sing ♪

♪ That they shall hear that I am not ♪

♪ I am not afraid. ♪

♪ I am not afraid. ♪

♪ I know not by what power I'm made bold, ♪

♪ But still you flout my insufficiencies, ♪

♪ The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace. ♪

♪ My ear should catch your voice ♪

♪ My eye your eye, ♪

♪ My tongue should catch your tongue ♪

♪ Sweet melody, ♪

♪ My tongue your tongue ♪

♪ Were the world mine, ♪

♪ And I will sing that they shall hear ♪

♪ That I am not, I am not afraid ♪

♪ I am not afraid. ♪

♪ Fairies away, ♪

♪ Fetch me that flower, ♪

♪ Up and down and up and down ♪

♪ I will lead them up and down ♪

♪ Fairies away, ♪

♪ Swift as a shadow, ♪

♪ Up and down and up and down ♪

♪ I will lead them up and down ♪

♪ O, why rebuke ♪

♪ You him that loves you so? ♪

♪ Lay breath so bitter on your bitter foe, ♪

♪ On your bitter foe ♪

♪ What angel wakes me from my flowery bed? ♪

♪ I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again. ♪

♪ I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again ♪

♪ Mine ear is much enamored of thy note, ♪

♪ So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape, ♪

♪ I'll follow thee, ♪

♪ I'll follow thee ♪

♪ And make a heaven of hell. ♪

♪ I'll follow thee ♪

♪ I'll follow thee ♪

♪ And make a heaven of hell. ♪

♪ And make a heaven of hell. ♪

♪ Fairies away, ♪

♪ Fetch me that flower, ♪

♪ Up and down and up and down ♪

♪ I will lead them up and down. ♪

♪ Fairies away, ♪

♪ Swift as a shadow, ♪

♪ Up and down and up and down. ♪

♪ I will lead them up and down. ♪

♪ Fairies away, ♪

♪ Fetch me that flower, ♪

♪ Up and down and up and down. ♪

♪ I will lead them up and. ♪

♪ Fairies away, ♪

♪ Swift as a shadow, ♪

♪ Up and down and up and down. ♪

♪ I will lead them up and down. ♪

♪ My ear should catch your voice, ♪

♪ My eye should catch your eye, ♪

♪ My tongue your tongue, ♪

♪ Were the world mine. ♪

- Hey, I'm here.

- Hold on, wait out there.

- Hey fairy boy, you started without me?

What the.

- Are you ok?

How now, mad spirit.

- You know what?

Ah, oh my god, my mom.

- So hot in here.

- No, no no no no.

- [Mother] Timmy?

- Just stay in here.

- Anything for you.

- Shit.

Mom, eh, I'm working, Max is here.

- Am I too old to date?

- Ah, we're really busy.

- You gotta see, I almost finished your wings.

- Oh, no no no!

Mom, look, Max is gonna help me with my stuff.

- Fine.

- Later.

- You should be proud.

Your mom sold a lot of shit today.

- I missed you.

- Hey, I'm not sure, but I think I did something to you.

No, no wait, just stay there.

Put your shirt back on.

Where is that damn page?

I'll put a girdle round about the earth.

In forty minutes.

Put a girdle round about the earth.

Shit.

Forty minutes.

- Do they get how lucky they are

to have you at their school?

- No Max, they don't.

- That jock boy is really missing out.

- Not for long.

- Do you think these are too.

- Small?

- Mom, mom!

You need to go home, ok?

Eh, you need to go home and think about Frankie.

Don't tell a soul about this.

- About us?

My lips are sealed to quench your sweet desire.

- Max, good bye.

- Parting is such a sweet sorrow.

(dog barking)

- What now?

- If you could make someone love you, would you?

- Shit, obviously.

I was asleep.

- Max helped me with lines tonight.

Yeah?

He really likes you.

- Is that in danger of changing by tomorrow morning?

- He wanted you to know.

- OK.

- There was an accident.

- What?

- I'll fix it.

- I couldn't sleep either.

- Isn't that your wedding dress?

- Was.

Don't run off and scare me like that again.

(rock music)

- But, gentle friend, for love and courtesy.

Lie further off in human modesty.

- Here is my bed sleep give thee all his rest!

- With half that wish the wisher's eyes be pressed!

- Sleep!

- Through the forest have I gone.

But Athenian found I none, on whose eyes I might approve

this flower's force in stirring love.

Night and silence.

Who is here?

Weeds of Athens he doth wear and the maiden, sleeping sound.

On the dank and dirty ground.

- Fag.

Oh, the fairy brought his own props.

Churl, upon thy eyes I throw

all the power this charm doth owe.

- Timothy?

- Oh, nasty!

- Ah, I can't see.

- What in hell?

- Timothy!

- OK, what did you do to my boyfriend?

- I missed your bright eyes.

- Oh, come on.

- You promised.

- Don't leave me.

(upbeat music)

- Gentlemen!

This afternoon we focus on balance and coordination.

Essential skills to hold for rugby one.

Excellent!

Onward to the field, gentles!

- Coach?

I'll see you later, my prince.

- You're mocking me, right?

I mean, you said he liked me.

- On all four I've chased you.

Sweet, what flee so fast?

- You're fractious.

I can see your heartbeat.

- I'm not done here yet, sport.

- Was this the accident?

You seducing my boyfriend?

- Boyfriend?

- Yeah.

- Yes, Max was the accident, and I'll fix it, I promise.

Let's walk.

- No, Timothy.

- What is wrong with you!

What is wrong with all of you!

This is really fucked up!

- Donna, darling.

I have got to say that I have vacillated

after that first meeting,

but you surprise me dearly.

- First impressions aren't my thing.

- They must be.

Lawrence says that from the moment

he first laid his eyes upon me,

it was true love.

- Was it?

- There are no limitations.

I have none, and you too, can rise above.

Remember, what you believe, you will achieve.

- Timothy, that's my son.

Timothy!

Timmy!

- Do you know her?

- Yeah, that's my mom.

- I'm Jonathan, you have a brilliant son.

- Oh, shit, sorry.

We just had our nails done.

- Nora Fay!

- No, mom.

We've gotta go, we've got

a lot of practicing to do.

- Wait.

- Oh, Timothy.

Pleasure to finally meet.

And Jonathan Cordin, well you look quite luminous.

- I'm in love.

- Yes, this is exactly what I meant

by rising above, Donna.

Your son compatriots with Morgan Hills' star rugby player.

- We're not compatriots, we're boyfriends.

- I'm sorry?

- We have got to go.

- Johnny!

- Your son is a homosexual?

- Em, yes he is, Nora Fay.

- Has your coach lost his mind?

- I've outgrown you.

- Is this a joke?

- Don't mock my love.

Who will not change a raven for a dove?

- What?

- Fly away.

- How could he not desire a woman?

It's unnatural!

- Let's go.

- Wait here.

- You better pick me up at seven.

- You can take your ugly makeup,

and shove it up your unlimited ass.

- Aww!

May god bless you and show you the light!

- I got your bag, mom.

- Both of you!

I knew this was horrible and whatever may.

- Get out of my way.

- Timmy, what's the hell is that?

- Ah, my mascara!

- Let her walk in one of my shoes for a while.

- My eyes are tingling and Donna, Donna.

Donna, Donna, Donna.

Oh, be not so bashful, darling, rare divine.

These luscious, kissy, cherry lips, are mine.

- I'd like to welcome everyone

to the fifty-sixth annual Morgan Hill spring festival.

We're honored to have several special guests,

to help us wing in this weekend's festivities.

First and foremost, the honorable, Mayor Robbins.

(applause)

We were also hoping to have

a representative from one of our sponsors,

my beautiful wife, Nora Bellinger,

but she is most likely still out

soliciting some lucky towns persons.

- Let's not go.

- Why?

- You're different now.

- Come on, what about cotton candy mountain?

- I don't think you're ready for this.

- I cross my heart.

- Seriously, I was beaten up for being queer

before I even knew what that was.

- Well, don't worry, I'll protect you.

- I don't need someone to protect me.

You didn't even like me yesterday, remember?

- Oh, sure I did, but I fell in love with you today.

Come on.

- Stop, stop.

- You are perfection.

- That's the pansy talking.

- Come on, it'll be fine.

There's a kissing booth.

- And last but not least,

our very own, Coach Driskill.

- I love this man.

- If he's here with that fag,

I'm gonna kill him.

- You are completely prettier than him.

- I love this school.

Our love for one another,

shines brighter than the lights on this midway.

(applause)

- I hate this town.

I can't wait to graduate,

and get the hell out of this place forever.

- It's not that bad.

- Yeah, try looking at it from my eyes.

- What about your family?

- You mean my mom?

- Everyone.

- It's just my mom, on a good day.

I don't want to go back.

- To what?

- Real life.

- This is real.

- Yeah, but so far from where I woke up this morning.

People were staring at us.

- Well, stare back.

People are just jealous,

because I'm with the best fella in town.

People can change.

- If they experience that, they might.

- Look.

- How many people are in this town?

- Ten-thousand maybe.

- Let's go.

- Why?

- I've got people to change.

(bell rings)

- Game's over, sport.

- What?

- I missed you.

- Get the hell off of him.

Leave him alone.

- Listen, he's just messing with your head.

- He's mine.

- Stop teasing him and go after your cheerleader.

- Any love I have for her is gone, I swear.

- Max, Max, you love Frankie.

You know I know.

- Yes, thank you.

- I love you.

When I vow, I weep

My tears do tell the truth.

- OK, I'm going insane, officially!

Ah!

- Found the fags.

You, asshole!

- Stop it!

- Come here.

- He's mine.

- Ah!

- No no no no!

- Look, can you please let me in on this?

- Who is this goddess?

- Nymph.

- Perfect.

- Divine.

- Timothy, Timothy, I love you.

- I swear on my life I do.

- I love you more than he can ever could.

- Prove it!

- You want a fight?

- You're on, jock boy!

- Max.

- You coming?

- Be certain, I don't love you anymore.

- Follow if you dare.

- Get off me!

- Timothy, have we had our fun yet?

(sad music)

- Go away!

- Donna, darling, please.

Don't leave me out here alone.

All the things we could do together.

- I am not a lesbian.

- Nora, darling?

- Lawrence, I can see your light on.

- Driskill, I have a wife.

- Well, if she doesn't ask, you don't have to tell.

♪ The course of true love, never did run ♪

♪Smooth, no ♪

♪ The course of true love, never did run smooth ♪

♪ The course of true love never did run smooth ♪

♪ No, no, no ♪

♪ The course of true love ♪

♪ Never did run smooth. ♪

- Jock boy shed none.

It's all mine.

I fought with everything I had,

but it wasn't enough.

- My heart belongs to Jonathan.

- I don't exist without you.

- You do.

It's late.

You should go home.

- Begone then!

(sad music)

- Where moments ago the mayor made

the shocking announcement

that he'd be leaving his wife of eleven years.

He also said Kingston would start issuing

marriage licenses to any couples in love.

The mayor issued this statement,

"The constitution prohibits

the making of laws based on religion."

"Therefore, excluding legions of citizens from this

sanctified institution because of religious belief,

is immoral, unconstitutional and silly."

- I woke up this morning with an extra skip in my step.

Timmy!

Timothy!

- We'd only be guessing at how many couples

have driven long distances today to take advantage

of this landmark turn of events.

- Well, we've known each other for twenty years,

we've been neighbors and this morning

we looked at each other and we just knew

this was the right thing.

- We have a new perspective on life.

- Yes, but what about family values?

- What about them, we have families, we have values.

- Come on, Frankie, answer the damn phone.

- [Radio] The gay marriage debate has come to Kingston.

- Over there, look, gay, gay, gay and gay.

We'll find him.

- Driskill, why the hell are you still here?

- I missed you.

- What the hell's gotten into you?

That speech last night, the dancing in practice.

- We're refining the essentials

needed to play a skillful game.

- My wife wouldn't let me in the house last night.

- That makes two of us unlucky in love this morning.

- She said the course of true love never did run smooth.

(knocking on door)

- Oh, lords.

- Dr. Bellinger, open up.

Dr. Bellinger, my family was eating dinner last night

and Cole said, "I love Cooper

and I want everyone to know it".

This is not my little Cole.

There's been something odd about him,

ever since he started that play and now.

- Hasn't it occurred to you that I have problems too?

- You need to fix this!

Dr. Bellinger.

(radio chatter)

- Look.

- They're everywhere.

- Who's that?

- Donna, darling!

- Shit.

- Donna?

Donna!?

Oh, Donna, look at you, how precious.

= Go!

(upbeat music)

- He hasn't been here.

- He'll turn up.

- Yeah, in a ditch someplace with a hole in his head.

(knocking on door)

- Don't get it.

- What if it's him?

- Well what if it's not?

- Good morning.

Frankie, how is your song?

- Where's Timothy?

- He didn't come home last night.

- Where is my son?

- There's a meeting at Morgan Hill.

- Is he in trouble?

- You should come with me.

- What about the play?

- The play will go on.

Just don't you forget your guitar.

- I am not leaving my son in this place one day longer!

- Please, stay calm, sir.

- No one needs to remove their child from this institution.

Where is Ms. Tebbit?

- Where is everyone?

- This is my son.

I found him this morning

in bed with his best friend Russ.

They were holding each other and kissing.

Believe me, I taught them both a lesson.

- The course of true love never did run smooth.

- What did you say?

- My son said the same thing.

- So did mine.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

What we have here, is a kind of coercive persuasion.

- I'm in love!

- No you're not.

- Is everyone going insane?

- He's in love!

Love!

- The bible states that homosexuality

is contagious in all sorts of ways.

- It's that alternative teacher and her Shakespeare.

- Shakespeare was queer too.

- Do something.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

"A Midsummer Night's Dream" is hereby canceled.

- No, that is entirely unfair to the boys!

They've been working so hard.

And I am putting Ms. Tebbit under a full investigation.

(applause)

(suspenseful music)

- Firstly, Mr. William Shakespeare

has never been proven to be a homosexual.

Bisexual, perhaps.

Regardless, if you will all kindly return

this evening for the play,

I'm sure we will all make amends.

(parent chatter)

The play must go on.

Your concerns will fade like a nightmare.

Or with any luck, a clandestine dream comes true.

I must locate your son.

My words will appease them only momentarily.

- We looked everywhere.

- I have a notion.

(dramatic music)

♪ Over hill, over dale ♪

♪ Thorough bush, thorough brier, ♪

♪ Over park, over pale, ♪

♪ Thorough flood, thorough fire ♪

♪ I do wander everywhere, ♪

♪ Swifter than the moon's sphere ♪

♪ What have we done? ♪

♪ We have mistaken quite, ♪

♪ And laid the love juice on some true love's sight ♪

♪ Thieves of love, ♪

♪ We've come by night, ♪

♪ And stolen lover's hearts way in spite ♪

- Let me go, let me go!

♪ The will of man is by your reason swayed, ♪

♪ With such force and blessed power ♪

♪ With all good will, ♪

♪ With all my heart ♪

♪ All things shall be peace ♪

♪ And so far blameless proves my enterprise ♪

♪ That I have 'anointed those pour souls' eyes ♪

♪ Think of your friends, ♪

♪ Your family. ♪

♪ No! ♪

♪ And so far am I glad it so did sort ♪

♪ As this their jangling I esteem a sport ♪

♪ The will of man is by your reason swayed, ♪

♪ With such force and blessed power, ♪

♪ With all good will, ♪

♪ With all my heart, ♪

♪ All things shall be peace ♪

♪ We fairies ♪

♪ That do run ♪

♪ From the presence ♪

♪ Of the sun ♪

♪ We follow ♪

♪ Darkness ♪

♪ Like a Dream ♪

♪ Be as thou wast want to be ♪

♪ See as thou wast want to see ♪

♪ Like a dream ♪

♪ Be as thou wast want to be ♪

♪ See as thou wast want to see ♪

- You rent our ancient love asunder.

♪ Be as thou wast want to be, ♪

♪ See as thou wast want to see, ♪

♪ Be as thou wast want to be, ♪

♪ Take comfort, he no more shall see my face, ♪

♪ See as thou wast want to see, ♪

♪ Whom I do love and will do till my death, ♪

♪ Be as thou wast want to be, ♪

♪ See as thou wast want to see, ♪

♪ Be as thou wast want to be, ♪

♪ See as thou wast want to see, ♪

♪ Be as thou wast want to be, ♪

♪ See as thou wast want to see, ♪

♪ Be as thou wast want to be, ♪

♪ See as thou wast want to see. ♪

♪ I have a device to make all well. ♪

♪ Crush this herb into the lover's eyes, ♪

♪ Whose liquor hath this virtuous property, ♪

♪ To take from thence all error with their might, ♪

♪ And make their eyeballs roll with wonted sight, ♪

♪ When they next wake, all this derision, ♪

♪ Shall seem a dream and fruitless vision, ♪

♪ Don't haste, get to the play tonight ♪

♪ And with some luck there, all things shall be right. ♪

♪ I swear to thee by Cupid's strongest bow, ♪

♪ By all the vows that ever men have broke, ♪

♪ All things shall be peace ♪

♪ I'll be there. ♪

♪ All things shall be peace ♪

♪ All things shall be peace ♪

- Hi sugar.

I got to get you to the school.

(thunder roaring)

- Follow my voice we'll try no manhood here.

- Shh!

- The villain is much lighter-heeled than I.

I followed fast, but faster he did fly.

Come, thou gentle day!

For if but once thou show me thy gray light,

I'll find Demetrius and revenge this spite.

- Ho, ho, ho, coward, why comest thou not?

- Where art thou now?

- Come hither I am here.

Nay, then, thou mock'st me.

Thou shalt buy this dear,

if ever I thy face by daylight see.

Now, go thy way.

Faintness constraineth me to measure out

my length on this cold bed.

- He's gathering all the mixed-up lovers so he can fix them.

- O weary night, O long and tedious night,

- Free will must be restored.

- Abate thy hour, and sleep,

that sometimes shuts up sorrow's eye.

Steal me awhile from mine own company.

Yet but three?

Come one more, two of both kinds make up four.

Here she comes, curst and sad

cupid is a knavish lad,

thus to make poor females mad.

- Never so weary, never so in woe,

bedabbled with the dew and torn with briers.

I can no further crawl, I can no further go

My legs can keep no pace with my desires.

(upbeat music)

- Sing.

♪ On the ground. ♪

♪ Sleep sound. ♪

♪ I'll apply. ♪

♪ To your eye ♪

♪ Gentle lover, remedy ♪

- Go on.

♪ When thou wakest, thou takest ♪

♪ True delight ♪

♪ In the sight ♪

♪ Jack shall have Jill, ♪

♪ Nought shall go ill, ♪

♪ The man shall have his mare again, ♪

♪ And all shall be well. ♪

- Goodbye.

- Is this part of the show?

- Damn, this is cool.

- Get off me, dude.

- Sorry.

- Come along, please the finale.

I will hear that play

for never anything can be amiss,

when simpleness and duty tender it.

♪ Gentles, perchance you wonder at this show ♪

♪ But wonder on ♪

♪ Till truth make all things plain. ♪

♪ This man is Pyramus, if you would know ♪

♪ This beauteous lady Thisby is certain. ♪

♪ Two, three, four. ♪

(rock music)

♪ By moonshine did these lovers think no scorn ♪

♪ Met at a tomb to woo by pale moonlight. ♪

♪ This grisly beast, which Lion hight by name, ♪

♪ The trusty Thisby, coming first by night, ♪

♪ Did scare away, or rather did affright. ♪

- That's my girlfriend, she fuckin' rocks!

♪ If we offend, we've got good will, ♪

♪ If we our crude, our measure's plain ♪

♪ Our true intent is your delight ♪

♪ It's merry, tragical and brief. ♪

♪ Oh Pyramus. ♪

♪ Pyramus, loved Thisby ♪

♪ And as she fled, her mantle she did fall ♪

♪ Which Lion vile with bloody mouth did stain ♪

♪ Anon comes Pyramus, sweet youth, and tall ♪

♪ And finds his trusty Thisby's mantle slain, ♪

♪ Whereat with blade, with bloody blameful blade, ♪

♪ He bravely broached his boiling bloody breast, ♪

♪ Thus he died, ♪

♪ He died, he died, ♪

♪ His soul in the sky. ♪

♪ Thus is the end, adieu, adieu, ♪

♪ Adieu, adieu, adieu, adieu, adieu, adieu, adieu, ♪

♪ If we offend, we've got good will, ♪

♪ If we our crude, our measure's plain ♪

♪ Our true intent is your delight ♪

♪ It's merry, tragical and brief. ♪

♪ Oh Pyramus. ♪

♪ Pyramus, loved Thisby ♪

♪ Oh Pyramus. ♪

♪ Pyramus, loved Thisby ♪

(applause)

- Nora?

- It is time to fly.

(upbeat music)

- If we shadows have offended,

think but this, and all is mended.

That you have but slumbered here

while these visions did appear.

And this weak and idle theme,

no more yielding but a dream.

Gentles, do not reprehend

if you pardon, we will mend.

And, as I am an honest Puck,

if we have unearned luck.

Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,

we will make amends ere long.

Else the Puck a liar call,

so, good night unto you all.

Give me your hands, if we be friends,

and Robin shall restore amends.

(applause)

(upbeat music)

- Donna, darling.

Will you join me for next week's seminar?

- Okay, yes, of course.

- You're very lucky to have such a marvelously talented son.

Good night.

- You know, when I was in high school,

I made quite a dashing Oberon.

- [Nora] I bet you did.

- Good evening, Coach.

What a talented bunch, ah?

- Indeed.

- See you on Monday, Coach?

- 'Evening, Nora.

- Good night.

- You were unbelievable tonight.

- Don't you feel?

- I feel like myself.

- It's not enough to speak, but to speak true.

- Hey Ms. T.

- Dude, awesome job!

- You two lovebirds better be at my party tonight,

it's gonna be beyond, alright?

- Who's next?

(upbeat rock music)

- [Nora] What kind of a world are we living in.

(upbeat music)