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1
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These are lean times,
my friends. Lean times.
2
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:46,630
That's right.
3
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:50,133
Sorry, guys. We are eating sticks tonight.
4
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,888
This is truly one of
the lowest points of my life.
5
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:58,183
Indeed.
This is the lowest of our points.
6
00:00:58,267 --> 00:00:59,977
Sitting around, eating sticks.
7
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But I have a nice treat for after.
8
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,522
- What is that?
- Twigs.
9
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,483
No, twigs are not a treat.
10
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:09,069
It is, after eating sticks.
11
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:11,613
Widgit, when can we get out of here?
12
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:15,367
Well, as you can see,
the lintel's now operational,
13
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,536
meaning that many portals
should be opening up
14
00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:19,913
for us to traverse through shortly.
15
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:22,833
One or various of these portals
should be able to take us
16
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,544
to your time or place, or very near.
17
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:28,964
Okay. If Widgit is correct, right,
then we will get Kevin home,
18
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,049
save his parents and steal their food.
19
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:33,343
But you can just have the food.
20
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,387
Well, no, we want to steal it.
21
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,014
Okay.
22
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,599
And then we'll be on the run.
23
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:41,018
- Always running.
- It's what we do.
24
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,315
So, you're just gonna keep on
running from the Supreme Being?
25
00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:44,229
Forever?
26
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,523
Well, we've outsmarted him more than once.
27
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,025
- Tw... Twice.
- Twice.
28
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,651
And we'll keep on doing it.
29
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,737
He will never catch up with us.
30
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:55,115
I am the Supreme Being.
31
00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,787
Cower before me!
32
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,706
Fear me!
33
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,333
- I have a plan!
- Run?
34
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:05,542
- Run?
- More running?
35
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:09,463
We don't always run,
but we should swiftly back away.
36
00:02:09,545 --> 00:02:11,715
You have betrayed me.
37
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:15,177
Bound to return what is mine.
38
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,224
- Judy, we're backing away...
- And now, be afraid.
39
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,056
- No, Judy!
- Be afraid.
40
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,015
What's happening?
41
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:23,810
- Fear me!
- You'll turn into salt, Judy!
42
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,271
- Stay away from me.
- Guys, I don't think this is...
43
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,232
I am the Supreme Being.
44
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:33,487
Cower before me.
45
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,988
I am the Supreme Being.
46
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,699
I am the Supreme Being.
47
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,702
That's the Supreme Being?
48
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:44,331
No, it's one of his
little suck-up helpers Casper.
49
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:45,791
- Jasper.
- Yeah... All right.
50
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:49,586
Don't give him the map.
The Supreme Being must not get the map.
51
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,839
Judy, is this reverse psychology?
52
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:52,840
What's happening?
53
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:53,966
I'm not sure honestly.
54
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:56,093
He's planning something
really, really bad.
55
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,973
- What... What does that mean?
- What does that mean?
56
00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,391
I can't tell you. It's bad. He's...
57
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:00,305
- What?
- He's what?
58
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:03,016
That did not come from my mouth.
I didn't tell you anything.
59
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,560
- What?
- The portal.
60
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,270
Do not let him get the map.
61
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,187
Get out of here.
62
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:08,939
Take the map and go.
63
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:12,734
Do not let him get the map!
64
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,243
What was that Jasper on about?
65
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,160
Sorry, Mum.
66
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,037
Some kind of mind trick,
you can bet on that.
67
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:27,165
- They seemed mad about something.
- Yeah, they're scared of me.
68
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:29,129
Why would they be scared of you?
All you do is run.
69
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,377
I do not always run.
70
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,216
Maybe their legs are sore
from all the running.
71
00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:33,964
I do not always run.
72
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,633
I don't know how this image of me
has gotten out there.
73
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,015
- There's your house.
- No. You've seen my house.
74
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,346
It's in a cul-de-sac.
75
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,435
Well, I don't know what
the outside looks like, do I?
76
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:44,975
This looks nothing like it.
77
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,647
Perhaps your parents
have done some renovations.
78
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,398
Seems a little
party's happening inside.
79
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,688
It isn't my house.
80
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,191
Yeah. No, I am
a few miles off actually.
81
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:53,984
- Widgit? I was just wondering…
- Yeah?
82
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,569
And a few centuries.
83
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,992
It looks like we're in Georgian England.
84
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,206
Well, a pat on the back
for getting the right country at least.
85
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:05,913
Georgian England? Really?
86
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,000
Plays will go on for hours.
87
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,544
People will come from
miles around to attend.
88
00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:11,168
- This is amazing. I'm home.
- I am hungry.
89
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,170
- Yeah, I'm hungry as well.
- Yeah, I'm hungry.
90
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,464
Yeah. Well, where there's a party,
there's a food.
91
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:16,547
Yeah.
92
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:22,012
You cannot come in here dressed like that.
93
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,521
Casanova.
94
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,315
It's Casanova.
95
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,278
Ooh.
96
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,468
Señor Casanova.
97
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:05,973
Okay, so you guys find a back entrance,
and we'll steal things we can wear.
98
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:09,393
Gee whiz. You seem very hot...
Let me just.
99
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,405
It's a turnspit dog.
100
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,156
Yeah, I don't wanna eat that weird dog.
101
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,412
- I'm not eating a spitting dog.
- No, you don't eat it.
102
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,871
It turns on that hamster wheel
and cooks the food evenly.
103
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,081
Kevin, it's not nap time.
104
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:39,715
Rats.
105
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,216
Go. Go, go, go.
106
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,847
I'm gonna make sure
we get into the party. Alto?
107
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,558
You okay? It's okay, it's okay.
108
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,102
Um, come on, mate. Be free.
109
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,314
Kevin, no one's going to
eat that weird dog.
110
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,397
Get in here.
111
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:08,242
Ye... Yes.
112
00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:10,412
Yeah?
113
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:24,968
My people.
114
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:30,307
My. Do you see what I see?
115
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,184
- The 18th century?
- Wigs?
116
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,356
- Repressed feelings?
- No one that looks like me?
117
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,855
Food. Remember why we're here?
118
00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:38,398
- Food.
- For the love of…
119
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,535
What are you doing, boy?
120
00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,455
I'm sorry. I wasn't going to.
121
00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:56,166
You weren't going to eat
one of my sandwiches?
122
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,418
All of these are your sandwiches?
123
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,087
I know this is a pineapple party,
124
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:02,384
but that's really just something
to entice people to attend.
125
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,633
Once they're here, they'll be amazed
126
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:08,178
by my brand-new invention
of meat between bread.
127
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,267
- So you're the Earl of Sandwich?
- You're aware of me.
128
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:13,976
Yes, my invention, named after
its inventor, me, the Earl of Sandwich.
129
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:17,354
Tuck in whilst I tell you all about it.
130
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:20,899
I'm riding.
131
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:25,445
My hands are full,
for I am on a horse with reins.
132
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:28,073
The fox is running. View halloo!
133
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,659
Whoa, Beauty.
134
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,453
My belly is empty. Whatever shall I do?
135
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,371
Have no fear.
136
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:38,333
Thanks to the "sandwich,"
I can ride and eat all at once.
137
00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:41,879
Now I'm at the card table.
138
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:46,258
I'm hungry for chemin de fer,
but I'm also hungry for food.
139
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,969
Why not set a place and eat at the table?
140
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:51,555
With this hand, I've got to slam it down
141
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,892
and exclaim "Huzzah!" as
I take the wretch's money.
142
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,060
A palpable hit, Valentine.
143
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,729
I have won back my wife.
144
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,065
Luckily, I have packed a…
145
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:05,068
- A sandwich.
- Precisely. Any questions so far?
146
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:08,113
Well, some people say the sandwich
was actually invented by...
147
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:09,573
By whom?
148
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,743
- You.
- Yes.
149
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:16,705
Usually people are more impressed that I
have invented the perfect convenient meal.
150
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:19,499
Anyway, must go.
151
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,211
It's almost pineapple time.
152
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,673
Who was that?
153
00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:27,841
He's the Earl of Sandwich.
154
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:31,011
He claims he "invented" the sandwich.
155
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,347
Yeah, and I invented water.
156
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:34,681
Yeah.
157
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,432
Did she?
158
00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:53,075
The secret of acting is the ability
to express oneself without words.
159
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,910
Take, for example, the Bard's "Ham-phlet."
160
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:57,538
One can express "Ham-phlet"
using only one's eyebrows.
161
00:08:57,621 --> 00:09:00,123
Now that... that's real acting.
162
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,209
A demonstration.
163
00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:10,342
"To be or not to be:
164
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,888
That is the question.
165
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,768
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind
166
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:23,647
to suffer the slings and arrows…
167
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,901
of outrageous fortune,
168
00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:29,903
or to take arms…
169
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,533
against a sea of troubles.
170
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:37,494
And by opposing, end them?
171
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:42,124
To die, to sleep... to sleep.
172
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,128
Perchance to dream.
173
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:50,424
Ay, there's the rub."
174
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:54,428
Bravo!
175
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,433
I know good eyebrow Shakespeare
when I see it.
176
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,601
You're quite an actor.
177
00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:02,686
That's what I think.
Finally somebody else says it.
178
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,189
I should introduce myself. I'm Martha.
179
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:08,525
I'm the impresario
of the Theatre Royal Drury Lane.
180
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:11,361
I'm putting on a show.
181
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:15,073
There's a part in it for you.
Nobody else could possibly do it justice.
182
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:16,200
It has to be you.
183
00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:19,244
- What's the part?
- The best part.
184
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:22,789
I will see you at rehearsal
tomorrow morning.
185
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,208
Until then, my muse…
186
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,542
- Yes?
- Adieu.
187
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:26,877
- Bless you.
- Goodbye.
188
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,128
Goodbye.
189
00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:29,880
Get out of the way.
190
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,188
Hello.
191
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:47,356
Hello.
192
00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:50,317
Strange. Usually that works.
193
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,903
- Saying "hello"?
- Yes.
194
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,405
And yet you're still conscious.
195
00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:59,034
Who does that guy think he is?
196
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,786
He's Casanova.
197
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,621
And what is he famous for?
198
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,456
Seducing thousands of women.
199
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:06,917
Fainted.
200
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,585
- What else?
- That's it.
201
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,046
And how did he get
famous enough to seduce them?
202
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,422
By seducing hundreds of them.
203
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:15,217
But, how were they seduced
in the first place?
204
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,178
I don't know what to say, Bittelig.
205
00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:21,557
I am the world's greatest lover.
206
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,771
Is that like, um,
a list that you put out yourself,
207
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,060
or someone else put it out?
208
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:31,191
I'm not attracted
to women who, want me.
209
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:36,905
But you, you are making me feel
something I have never felt before.
210
00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:41,910
Bittelig, come.
I want to show you something.
211
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:46,623
Thank you, Widgit.
212
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:52,671
Behold, a normal, extraordinary map.
213
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,382
Now you see it…
214
00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:58,385
Whoa, now you don't.
215
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:00,887
Widgit.
216
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,516
- There it is.
- You've got to teach me how to do that.
217
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,519
Ooh, is that a smile?
Are you smiling, Kevin?
218
00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:11,481
I've noticed that you
seem a little sad lately.
219
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:13,192
- Yeah.
- Why is that?
220
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:14,860
My parents are dead.
221
00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:16,737
Yeah.
222
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,909
Well, I have, my best people working on it.
223
00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:23,577
Really? Your best people?
224
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,329
Yeah, us.
225
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,872
Yeah, yeah.
226
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:29,166
Here, have some pineapple. Here you go.
227
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,043
Thanks.
228
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:34,880
Kevin,
did I show you my favorite spoon?
229
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,549
Don't you wish there were five?
230
00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:39,343
- Ready?
- Cool.
231
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,595
- Blimey.
- I'm stealing these.
232
00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:44,768
- Find more spoons.
- Find more?
233
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:45,849
To steal.
234
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,226
- Come on.
- Steal big ones.
235
00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:48,310
- Big spoons?
- Yeah.
236
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:49,393
Thank you.
237
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:55,901
Everyone, steal spoons.
238
00:12:55,984 --> 00:13:01,740
Spoons. They have the key to
traveling throughout space and time,
239
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:04,284
and they use it to steal spoons.
240
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:07,538
Knives and forks, I could understand:
They are sharp.
241
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,457
They are pointy.
242
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,795
Yeah, I know. I reckon spoons can be evil.
243
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,258
Yeah, like when you're washing them.
244
00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:19,261
You know, the water goes at the wrong
angle, just, like, sprays everywhere.
245
00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:23,512
Yeah, I...
I think spoons can be evil.
246
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,228
I am fear given form. Never correct me.
247
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,021
I... I didn't correct you.
248
00:13:33,105 --> 00:13:34,439
I was...
249
00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:44,032
Everybody, "shush-y," shush.
250
00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:45,200
Derek, please.
251
00:13:45,284 --> 00:13:46,201
Me again.
252
00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:48,120
Earl of Sandwich,
inventor of the sandwich.
253
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:54,459
It's time to, look...
just look at the pineapple.
254
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:56,295
Follow me.
255
00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:58,881
Excuse me.
256
00:13:58,964 --> 00:14:02,926
- Why did they call it a pineapple party?
- They have an actual pineapple here.
257
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,803
Sorry, wrong way. My big house.
258
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,353
The horror, the horror.
259
00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:14,938
This is a heinous crime.
260
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,568
Were we not supposed to eat the pineapple?
261
00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:19,234
That is an extremely rare
262
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:24,323
and precious piece of
fruitery for display purposes only.
263
00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:27,367
I know they're expensive,
but it is just a slightly tough pineapple.
264
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,163
Just a pineapple?
265
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,166
Just a pineapple?
266
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:36,251
Our life savings went into that.
267
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,462
We were renting that pineapple.
268
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,093
I shall die in a debtor's prison,
being poked with pointed sticks
269
00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:43,967
and called a shabaroon and
a cucumber-eater by all and sundry.
270
00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:48,680
But I just wanna be
absolutely clear about this.
271
00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:51,099
So pineapples are very expensive
in Georgian times?
272
00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:53,602
- Yes, you dolt.
- Except that we've eaten it.
273
00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,938
- Clearly.
- I'm sure we can replace it.
274
00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,399
You, replace it?
275
00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:03,153
You're covered in rags
and flour and vegetables.
276
00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:05,989
Am I meant to believe
you can afford a pineapple?
277
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,825
Apparently, Neil Groves
had five pineapples
278
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,370
at his tropical-themed birthday party.
279
00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:13,121
Neil Groves, Neil Groves…
280
00:15:13,205 --> 00:15:15,916
Did you see these
five pineapples of Neil Groves?
281
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:18,168
I wasn't invited.
282
00:15:18,252 --> 00:15:21,713
No. Nor were you invited here.
283
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:27,010
To think I, the Earl of Sandwich,
invited this addlepated child
284
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:30,305
to enjoy my incredible invention,
the sandwich.
285
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:31,557
If it is your invention.
286
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,101
I'm sorry?
287
00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:35,894
Some people think you copied the idea
288
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:39,398
after seeing pita bread
and canapés in the Mediterranean.
289
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,400
Someone, roll back my sleeves.
290
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:46,655
Thank you.
291
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,950
You have twice insulted my household.
292
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,618
You have called me a liar.
293
00:15:51,702 --> 00:15:54,705
And worse, you have eaten my pineapple.
294
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:58,667
I hereby challenge you to a duel.
295
00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:03,589
Come on, he's a child.
No one's gonna wanna see that.
296
00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:04,673
He'll be terrible at it.
297
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:08,051
Are you telling me that I cannot challenge
someone who has insulted me to a duel?
298
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:11,346
That is an insult,
so I challenge you to a duel.
299
00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:13,310
Well, wait a m... wait a minute.
Maybe he could do it.
300
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:14,892
You scoundrel.
301
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:19,313
I shall see you in the dueling pit
tomorrow afternoon, sir.
302
00:16:20,314 --> 00:16:21,940
- Now run, Penelope?
- Yeah.
303
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,942
Yes. Run, coward.
304
00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:31,074
You did not just call me that.
305
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:31,992
But I did.
306
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:36,246
Then I accept your challenge,
and I challenge you to a duel.
307
00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:40,462
I've already challenged you to a duel.
You can't challenge me back.
308
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:42,085
- They're dueling duels.
- Yeah.
309
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,796
- I'd laugh sneeringly at your ignorance.
- All right, then laugh.
310
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:10,989
A duel, sir. Tomorrow at noon.
311
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,577
Penelope…
312
00:17:17,621 --> 00:17:19,498
you can't fight in this duel.
313
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,333
No, I have to fight this duel.
314
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:24,169
It's, um... It's a matter of honor.
315
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:29,049
I don't think made-up ideas like
honor or cowardice are worth dying for.
316
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,426
And well, if you're dead
and then my parents are dead,
317
00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:34,054
and... It's just... It's too much.
318
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:37,182
But if you were challenged to a duel,
what would you do?
319
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,060
Well, I'd tell a teacher or another adult.
320
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,604
Okay, great. Yes, I'll tell another adult.
321
00:17:42,688 --> 00:17:45,482
- Hey, Widgit. I'm fighting in a duel.
- Cool.
322
00:17:46,692 --> 00:17:50,112
Now, Penelope,
violence is never the answer.
323
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,697
I think we should leave.
324
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:54,616
Leave? We can't leave yet. I've got a gig.
325
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,994
It's at the Theatre Royal
tomorrow afternoon.
326
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,620
People here love the theater so much.
327
00:17:58,704 --> 00:18:01,540
It starts early
and goes on for hours and hours.
328
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:03,125
You all have to come.
329
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:06,128
Yeah... Alto, you're inviting us
to a really long play,
330
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,754
and you expect us to actually come?
331
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:15,012
That's nice. That's just fantastic.
332
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:19,600
The one time I need a little support,
"Sorry, we're having a duel."
333
00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:23,487
I'm going to reserve you five seats,
and I expect you all to be there!
334
00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:30,027
He does love a speech, doesn't he?
335
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:33,572
Penelope, no one cares if you chicken out.
336
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:36,450
I thought we always ran.
I thought it was our thing.
337
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:39,244
Listen, I don't know what
you're all so worried about, okay?
338
00:18:39,328 --> 00:18:42,372
All I have to do is shoot
him before he shoots me.
339
00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:44,291
Bang! No!
340
00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:08,982
Flippin' hell, it's freezing.
341
00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:12,402
Kevin!
342
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:15,113
My gosh. This is misery.
343
00:19:18,659 --> 00:19:20,577
Fianna, what news of your progress?
344
00:19:21,078 --> 00:19:23,288
I've not got them yet,
but on the plus side,
345
00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:25,457
I've been visiting a lot of new places.
346
00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:27,501
How nice for you.
347
00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:30,170
But you are close to these bandits,
are you not?
348
00:19:30,796 --> 00:19:34,174
Yeah, pretty much.
I mean, I took a little detour, so…
349
00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:36,677
Well, I wouldn't want
to take any more detours,
350
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,971
not unless you want to get what John got.
351
00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:41,098
Do you want a bit of what John got?
352
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:42,474
No, probably not.
353
00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:45,811
You definitely
don't want what John got.
354
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,479
Bring me the map.
355
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,195
Judy.
356
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,450
It is me, Casanova.
357
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,830
- I just made a horse faint.
- Okay.
358
00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:09,668
You are radiant
and wonderful and so interesting.
359
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:13,297
And indifferent to me,
which is very attractive.
360
00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:16,216
Guys, please. Look, I'm trying to sleep.
361
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:17,843
I need to rest my reactions, yeah?
362
00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:19,469
Charging up my acting.
363
00:20:19,553 --> 00:20:22,264
These eyebrows,
they need their beauty sleep, okay?
364
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,392
Thanks in advance.
Just keep it down, both of you.
365
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:29,313
Judy, run away with me.
366
00:20:30,939 --> 00:20:34,276
I have to hit the hay.
I literally sleep on the hay, so…
367
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,246
Gavin.
368
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:08,101
- There's an anomaly here.
- You think they've been here, ma'am?
369
00:21:08,185 --> 00:21:11,563
I do. I think the Time Bandits
have been here and they have the map.
370
00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:13,941
Yeah… …of course
they have the map.
371
00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:16,485
If they didn't have the map,
how would they have been here?
372
00:21:16,568 --> 00:21:19,363
They're leaving portals open.
Things are drifting across time.
373
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,407
It's dangerous. It's very dangerous.
374
00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:25,160
Leaving portals open is a terrible idea.
Even I know that.
375
00:21:25,744 --> 00:21:27,984
We need to report back to
the Supreme Being straightaway.
376
00:21:28,372 --> 00:21:30,290
Yeah. Yeah, we could do that.
377
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:34,378
We've been sent by him
378
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:37,381
specifically to report our findings
so that he can track the Bandits.
379
00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:39,091
We have to follow his orders.
380
00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:42,719
And I'm saying we could do what he wants.
381
00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:44,721
Of course we could.
382
00:21:44,805 --> 00:21:46,306
Well, what else would we do?
383
00:21:46,807 --> 00:21:49,101
There are some people
I think you should talk to first.
384
00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:50,310
What people?
385
00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:51,979
People like me, you know?
386
00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:55,482
People who've had enough
of doing exactly what we're told to do.
387
00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:58,944
But if we don't do what we're told to do,
what do we do?
388
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,321
You'll see.
389
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,827
Widgit, last night after I laid down,
390
00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:11,331
I saw pictures of sky
and people doing magical things,
391
00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:13,542
but my eyes were closed.
392
00:22:14,251 --> 00:22:15,252
You had a dream.
393
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:17,754
I... I could see it but not touch it.
394
00:22:17,838 --> 00:22:19,381
Yeah. Like I said, that was a dream.
395
00:22:19,464 --> 00:22:20,928
The Supreme Being
didn't let us have those.
396
00:22:21,008 --> 00:22:22,217
Wow.
397
00:22:22,301 --> 00:22:25,429
But you know, it wasn't all good.
I could see bad things too.
398
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:28,015
Well, yeah.
That's called a nightmare, Bittelig.
399
00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:31,101
Do you think that that
is what Jasper meant?
400
00:22:31,185 --> 00:22:35,189
That my nightmare is what will happen
if we give the Supreme Being the map?
401
00:22:35,272 --> 00:22:38,817
I think he meant to say something
a lot worse than a nightmare,
402
00:22:38,901 --> 00:22:41,111
but Jasper did sound scared.
403
00:22:41,195 --> 00:22:43,989
Widgit,
I don't want anyone else to die.
404
00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:46,116
Not after Susan.
405
00:22:46,617 --> 00:22:49,661
No. No, neither do I.
No one's gonna die, Bittelig.
406
00:22:50,454 --> 00:22:51,705
But what about Penelope?
407
00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:54,333
- Penelope! Come on. Come on.
- No.
408
00:22:59,004 --> 00:23:02,883
My muse. My muse.
409
00:23:03,425 --> 00:23:06,887
I've got a very special role for you.
Are you up to it?
410
00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:09,014
I was born to do this.
411
00:23:09,097 --> 00:23:10,557
Not really, more spawned.
412
00:23:10,641 --> 00:23:12,434
Feels like that for us, doesn't it?
413
00:23:12,518 --> 00:23:16,021
Read it, learn it, live it.
You're on in an hour.
414
00:23:16,104 --> 00:23:17,105
Okay.
415
00:23:34,164 --> 00:23:36,500
Hello again, everybody. "Shush-y."
416
00:23:36,583 --> 00:23:40,045
'Tis I, the Earl of Sandwich,
inventor of the sandwich,
417
00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:42,381
here to face my insulter.
418
00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:44,925
Choose your weapon, sir.
419
00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:47,052
Choose your weapon, sir.
420
00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:49,221
Can I choose words?
421
00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:54,101
Absolutely, sir, although
the Earl of Sandwich will be using a gun.
422
00:23:55,018 --> 00:23:58,063
And, how about if I just run away?
423
00:23:58,146 --> 00:24:00,148
Absolutely, you could run away.
424
00:24:00,232 --> 00:24:03,694
I think the last person who tried to
run away was shot in the back, sir.
425
00:24:03,777 --> 00:24:06,238
- Okay, right.
- So perhaps the gun?
426
00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:09,992
- Ooh.
- Sir has chosen the gun.
427
00:24:10,075 --> 00:24:11,702
And a wonderful choice, sir.
428
00:24:11,785 --> 00:24:13,457
You know, I'm a woman,
so I probably shouldn't be...
429
00:24:13,537 --> 00:24:14,913
Absolutely, sir.
430
00:24:14,997 --> 00:24:16,164
Come along, you coward.
431
00:24:18,292 --> 00:24:19,793
Let's get to it.
432
00:24:21,295 --> 00:24:23,300
- Okay.
- Are you aware of the rules of the duel?
433
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:24,590
Vaguely.
434
00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:26,675
We take ten paces, turn, then fire.
435
00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:28,635
- That's it. Begin.
- Okay.
436
00:24:28,719 --> 00:24:31,263
Um, and is it, after ten paces,
or on t...
437
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:35,684
One, two, three, four, five,
438
00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:39,062
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
439
00:24:44,735 --> 00:24:47,237
What... Did you actually try to shoot me?
440
00:24:47,321 --> 00:24:49,239
Well, yes, because it's a duel.
441
00:24:49,323 --> 00:24:50,949
You were going to murder me?
442
00:24:51,033 --> 00:24:52,451
Why were you shooting at the sky?
443
00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:54,703
No one shoots to kill in a duel anymore.
444
00:24:54,786 --> 00:24:57,000
If we did that, there'd be
no one left in polite society.
445
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:58,290
You aim to miss.
446
00:24:58,373 --> 00:25:00,501
Well, okay. I didn't know that.
I wasn't told.
447
00:25:00,584 --> 00:25:04,338
Enough of this havy-gavy business, sir.
You are a scoundrel.
448
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,591
I'm so insulted that
you would try to shoot me
449
00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:12,137
that I hereby challenge you
to another duel.
450
00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:17,267
All right.
451
00:25:17,351 --> 00:25:19,102
Places, please.
452
00:25:19,186 --> 00:25:20,729
Five minutes.
453
00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:30,614
Just to be clear...
454
00:25:30,697 --> 00:25:36,286
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
455
00:25:36,370 --> 00:25:39,498
Stop!
456
00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:41,959
Stop!
457
00:25:42,042 --> 00:25:44,461
Excuse me, we are rather
in the middle of something here.
458
00:25:44,545 --> 00:25:46,046
We're in the middle of something too.
459
00:25:46,129 --> 00:25:47,965
We're in the middle of an argument,
460
00:25:48,757 --> 00:25:53,262
for I may have valued my ambition
ahead of my friend's life.
461
00:25:53,345 --> 00:25:55,806
And for that, I'm sorry.
462
00:25:56,557 --> 00:26:02,479
You are trying to determine who is
in the right, but violence is never right.
463
00:26:03,021 --> 00:26:08,151
Forgiveness and compromise
are the harder paths to take,
464
00:26:08,235 --> 00:26:13,282
but ultimately the ones which lead to
fewer people losing the ones they love.
465
00:26:15,325 --> 00:26:21,582
If someone here today "wins,"
so much more is lost.
466
00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:26,837
A leader, or at least
someone with leadership ability.
467
00:26:27,796 --> 00:26:30,424
The inventor of the sandwich!
468
00:26:30,966 --> 00:26:33,427
A spirit gone,
469
00:26:34,511 --> 00:26:38,974
a flame doused, a mortal coil shuffled,
470
00:26:39,683 --> 00:26:44,897
a friend to someone
no longer in this world.
471
00:26:47,065 --> 00:26:49,651
- Yes. Yes.
- Thank you.
472
00:26:49,735 --> 00:26:51,278
Wow, it's...
473
00:26:52,237 --> 00:26:55,115
Judy.
474
00:26:55,199 --> 00:26:57,034
Now you've made me forget where we were.
475
00:26:57,117 --> 00:26:58,994
We have to start the count again.
Thanks a lot.
476
00:26:59,077 --> 00:27:01,038
What?
477
00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:02,372
Come on.
478
00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:08,045
- Okay. Turn around. Am I on...
- One, two…
479
00:27:15,219 --> 00:27:19,848
Three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine.
480
00:27:19,932 --> 00:27:23,352
- Fianna.
- Run. Now we run.
481
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:30,108
See? Cowards,
the whole lot of them, fleeing from...
482
00:27:30,192 --> 00:27:33,320
How dare you trespass on my dueling pit?
483
00:27:33,403 --> 00:27:36,657
- I challenge you to a duel.
- What?
484
00:27:36,740 --> 00:27:39,701
A duel... Is there no honor
left in this world? Second.
485
00:27:40,619 --> 00:27:42,788
Now we take ten paces, turn...
486
00:27:52,673 --> 00:27:55,759
A cowardly act, but no matter.
487
00:27:56,301 --> 00:27:58,095
The bullet did not reach my heart,
488
00:27:58,637 --> 00:28:02,140
for in my breast pocket, I have concealed…
489
00:28:03,892 --> 00:28:05,227
a sandwich.
490
00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:07,855
I can't see that stopping a bullet, sir.
491
00:28:08,856 --> 00:28:10,566
Yes. Quite right.
492
00:28:11,191 --> 00:28:14,987
My mistake.
493
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:17,659
Can't you calm her down?
494
00:28:17,739 --> 00:28:18,991
That was always the problem.
495
00:28:19,074 --> 00:28:20,784
She's so scary.
496
00:28:21,577 --> 00:28:23,579
I think we lost her.
497
00:28:23,662 --> 00:28:26,623
- Judy, it is I, Casanova.
- What are you doing here?
498
00:28:26,707 --> 00:28:29,543
I can't live without you.
499
00:28:29,626 --> 00:28:32,462
I wish you could see
yourself the way I see you.
500
00:28:33,547 --> 00:28:35,674
I just want you to know
how lovely you are.
501
00:28:35,757 --> 00:28:37,843
- Please, just stay here with me.
- Um, gotta go.
502
00:28:38,719 --> 00:28:39,887
We're running from a demon!
503
00:28:40,721 --> 00:28:42,556
Aren't we all running from our demons?
504
00:28:45,142 --> 00:28:47,269
I will wait for you forever.
505
00:28:47,352 --> 00:28:49,354
You are my only one.
506
00:28:51,064 --> 00:28:53,984
Who are you? So captivating.
507
00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:58,155
I'm not interested in most women, but you,
you are something special.
508
00:28:58,655 --> 00:29:00,699
Your eyes, they glow.
509
00:29:00,782 --> 00:29:02,075
Ooh.
510
00:29:21,011 --> 00:29:24,181
Come on, you s... stupid rocks.
511
00:29:30,562 --> 00:29:33,148
- We lost her.
- What? Good.
512
00:29:33,232 --> 00:29:37,236
- Where is it? It's supposed to be close.
- Widgit.
513
00:29:37,945 --> 00:29:39,738
So, Alto, how was the play?
514
00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:40,822
I didn't do it.
515
00:29:41,698 --> 00:29:43,075
At least you've done other plays.
516
00:29:43,158 --> 00:29:46,203
The truth is,
I've never actually acted before.
517
00:29:46,286 --> 00:29:48,497
I just picked up a pamphlet,
saw "Ham-phlet," thought,
518
00:29:48,580 --> 00:29:51,583
"I'll do that one day."
And I will. One day.
519
00:29:51,667 --> 00:29:53,877
I don't think it's called "Ham-phlet."
520
00:29:54,711 --> 00:29:57,130
There it is. It's open. Bandits, get in.
521
00:30:02,469 --> 00:30:05,138
Penelope,
I'm proud of you for running away.
522
00:30:05,222 --> 00:30:07,266
Self-preservation
is what I do best.
523
00:30:07,349 --> 00:30:08,600
That's probably what it is.
524
00:30:08,684 --> 00:30:09,810
In!
525
00:30:09,893 --> 00:30:12,688
This doesn't look right!39123
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