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1
00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:16,493
Yes!
2
00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:21,290
Mum! Dad!
3
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:23,542
It's my birthday.
4
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:26,211
- We know, Kevin.
- We know. One second.
5
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,174
- There we go.
- That's a bit sexy, love.
6
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,255
It's too in... It's intense, that
one. Wrong night for that one.
7
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,923
Something festive.
It's his birthday.
8
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:34,928
How about that one?
9
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,555
No. It's...
10
00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:40,213
- Aw, that's nice. There you go.
- You ready?
11
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,312
Happy birthday.
12
00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:46,064
What boring pile of rocks you
dragging us to see this year?
13
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,441
It's not rocks, Dad.
14
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:49,151
It's wood.
15
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:51,445
Wood?
16
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:55,365
Woodhenge! We're
actually at Woodhenge.
17
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,743
It's a Neolithic
precursor to Stonehenge.
18
00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,995
How can that be boring?
It's incredible.
19
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:01,455
Incredibly boring.
20
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:03,081
Saffron, you're hilarious.
21
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:05,834
- They aren't even wood.
- No, Saff. Quite right.
22
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,377
These concrete posts show
where the wood used to stand.
23
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:09,861
Should've gone to Stonehenge.
24
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,924
At least that pile of
rocks has a gift shop.
25
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,727
I'm saving Stonehenge
till my next birthday.
26
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,221
Even if there were a gift shop
here, what would they sell? Sticks?
27
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,302
Bags of concrete as well.
28
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,308
The ancients wouldn't
have had gift shops, Mum.
29
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,393
There are so many
mysteries here.
30
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,604
Like, why Woodhenge was built.
31
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,231
Was it a temple? A marketplace?
32
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:31,985
Hey, you know, I was thinking maybe this
place was built to perform executions.
33
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,779
Ooh! Maybe, yeah.
Yeah, Dad. Yeah...
34
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,693
They brought people here
and bored 'em to death.
35
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:39,368
You're terrible, Mike.
36
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:42,454
I think the henges
were maps of the stars.
37
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,208
Anyway.
38
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,919
Happy birthday, Kev, love.
39
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,296
Yeah, happy birthday,
Kevster, mate.
40
00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:55,592
Come on, pal. Let's get
out of here. Come on.
41
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,887
Hey, girls. Oh,
my God. Finally.
42
00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:01,974
Hey, little sis. Did you
enjoy my birthday party, then?
43
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:05,310
Oh, yeah. Woodhenge. Amazing.
44
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,980
Oh, it was good... Sarcasm.
45
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:08,897
Duh!
46
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:14,069
Why can't you have a normal birthday
like a normal person with normal friends?
47
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,197
Saffron, you'll understand
when you're older.
48
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,446
Here's a fun football fact.
49
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:25,330
The oldest Mesoamerican football court
is dated around something like 400 CE.
50
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:30,043
Some scholars say that the Maya played
with the severed heads of their enemies.
51
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:33,130
There was no such thing
as a friendly back then.
52
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,845
Seriously, though, as far as the
modern game that's codified by...
53
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,180
Uh, we'll have Scott.
54
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:47,227
Okay. Well, great to be
part of the team, guys.
55
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:49,688
Ow!
56
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:22,930
I think this might be the best large
pachyderm you've ever painted, Kevin.
57
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,557
Oh, thank you so much.
58
00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:30,187
It is a beautiful
Mammuthus rumanus.
59
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,941
"Although people and
mammoths coexisted,
60
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:39,446
there is no evidence that humans rode
or domesticated them in any way."
61
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:41,532
Interesting.
62
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:57,714
Huh.
63
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:01,885
Yes!
64
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,555
I attack Kamchatka from Japan.
65
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,224
Of course, Japan did
invade Kamchatka,
66
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,269
if only briefly, during
the Russo-Japanese War.
67
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,106
Right. My turn.
68
00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:29,913
Looks pretty good, if
I do say so myself.
69
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,039
And I do.
70
00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,291
Oh, you do, Kevin?
71
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,458
Yeah, I do.
72
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:54,646
Mum, my wardrobe's moving.
73
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:04,114
Whoa!
74
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,746
What the actual flipping heck?
75
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,166
Whoa!
76
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:19,671
Wow.
77
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:27,346
Hello.
78
00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:55,624
I'm gonna go get my parents.
79
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,548
Mum! Mum! Dad! There's
a man in my room!
80
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,925
- A man?
- I think he's a Viking warrior.
81
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,511
Oh. Right. Viking warrior.
82
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,430
He's certainly being chased
by some very angry Saxons.
83
00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:11,928
It was a dream.
84
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:14,726
For God's sake,
Kevin, keep it down.
85
00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:16,812
It's not me. I'm still here.
86
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,810
- Yeah, that's better. Yeah.
- Yeah, go back to bed, love.
87
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:21,859
Saxons almost shot an
arrow into my cranium.
88
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,986
Or what is more likely, Kevin?
89
00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:26,822
It was a dream.
90
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,449
Correct. It was
just a boring dream.
91
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:30,534
Now, go on…
92
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:32,911
…little worrier.
93
00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:34,538
Night.
94
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,747
Night, pal.
95
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,666
I'm sorry about that.
96
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,460
My parents just informed
me this was a dream.
97
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,089
I don't know what that means,
98
00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:47,467
but I'm not really meant to
have visitors after 7:30.
99
00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:48,760
Do with that what you will.
100
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,099
I was wondering if you could
tell me why the Vikings
101
00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:57,561
suddenly stopped their murderous
ways and adopted agrarianism.
102
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,274
I was debating with my
teacher, Ms. Murray,
103
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:05,319
and she said it was due to the
development of fortified cities.
104
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:06,653
And I replied...
105
00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:10,157
What the heck is that?
106
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,785
Whoa!
107
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:18,498
Uh, excuse me. Do
you need my help?
108
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,501
Nei! Nei!
109
00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:23,337
I'm guessing Nei is
Old Norse for yes.
110
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,380
- Nei!
- Oh, it is?
111
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:26,924
Okay, just wait there.
112
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:32,386
I'm sorry, Mum. I'm sorry,
Dad. Adventure calls my name.
113
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,517
Kevin, keep it down.
114
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,644
How are you doing, love?
115
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,854
My head hurts.
116
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,147
You've had a concussion.
117
00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,482
You know what caused it?
118
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,108
I ran into the ward...
119
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,860
- Looking behind you.
- No.
120
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:48,316
You're stuck in the past, Kevin.
121
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,113
What good is knowing
about history to anyone?
122
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,866
It's literally the past. Who's
it gonna help? It's over.
123
00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:55,244
You need to get into
the future. Technology.
124
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:58,038
- Yeah. Update. Upgrade.
- Yeah, touch screen.
125
00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,201
- Yeah, music.
- Yeah, yeah.
126
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,459
- Oh, we can get you a new phone.
- I don't need a new phone.
127
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,541
- He doesn't use it.
- Why not? We bought you that phone.
128
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:06,501
- We bought you a phone.
- Why don't you use your phone?
129
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,882
- Use your phone.
- He probably doesn't even know how.
130
00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:11,510
- Who's going to call me?
- I know. No one.
131
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,428
We could use it
to chat together.
132
00:09:13,512 --> 00:09:14,847
Can't we chat the old way?
133
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,431
Like this. This is chatting.
134
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,225
No, this is just talking.
135
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,351
If you use your phone,
136
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:22,771
you could be chatting to someone
else while we're talking, like I am.
137
00:09:22,855 --> 00:09:24,022
What are you up to?
138
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:27,109
You're stuck in the past, Kevin.
You've got to get in the 21st century.
139
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:30,779
If it were cooler to be a Viking than
an accountant for a consultancy firm
140
00:09:30,863 --> 00:09:33,240
or a consultant for
an accountancy firm,
141
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,043
we'd be wearing horned
helmets, wouldn't we?
142
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,370
Vikings didn't wear horned helmets.
That's a misconception due to a...
143
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,326
- No, Kevin. No! La, la, la, la, la!
- No.
144
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:43,333
You got to stop it with all these
Vikings and the ancient geeks.
145
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,836
- Greeks.
- As well.
146
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,296
I give up.
147
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:50,003
Then this talk was worth it, as
you've learned an important lesson.
148
00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,717
Sometimes, give up.
149
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,678
Wait. That's the lesson?
150
00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:56,680
"Sometimes, give up"?
151
00:09:58,599 --> 00:09:59,641
Yeah.
152
00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:01,685
You can't choose your family.
153
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,687
No, and you cannot choose
your children, either.
154
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,101
Hmm, no one mentions that, hey?
155
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,857
Yeah, right? Ooh, got a message.
156
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,483
It's from you, Mike.
157
00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:11,570
"What are you up to?" Nothing.
158
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:52,267
The door. Push it. Push it.
159
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,318
We've done it. We've lost him.
160
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,490
We've escaped.
161
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,029
What if we haven't lost him?
162
00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,989
- Then we're dead.
- Like Vikings.
163
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,533
Supreme Being knows everything.
164
00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:04,057
Won't he know where we are because
he knows what we're thinking?
165
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,246
If he knows what we're
thinking, he knows nothing.
166
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:08,377
So, he's as ignorant as we are.
167
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:09,378
Mm-hmm.
168
00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:12,631
Unless he really does know
everything we're thinking,
169
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:13,924
and then I disagree
170
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,130
- with everything you just said. Yeah.
- Right.
171
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,757
We're completely
lost. Where are we?
172
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,843
- Here.
- I don't know where here is.
173
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,303
He won't find us here. We
can be confident of that.
174
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,471
Hello?
175
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,395
- He found us.
- It was Penelope's idea.
176
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:26,875
She's the leader.
She stole the map.
177
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:31,066
No, I'm... I am not the
leader. We're all equal.
178
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,943
And I order you to stop talking.
179
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,778
Oh! It wasn't me. It was them.
180
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,780
Don't turn us to salt.
181
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:45,372
You don't have to fear
me. I'm just a kid.
182
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,999
- Hmm?
- Oh.
183
00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:49,251
- Oh. It's a child.
- Oh, phew!
184
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,670
Wow. We thought you were the
Supreme Being doing a voice.
185
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,964
- The who?
- Yes, well, at any rate, it's not him.
186
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,383
- As I said. Widgit. The map.
- Right.
187
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,719
- Oh.
- Yeah. So…
188
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,513
- Could be here. Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
189
00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:04,892
Or maybe there, but I
really... Sorry, do you mind?
190
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:07,978
- Is it, um, right way up?
- Yeah, it's not. No, it's not.
191
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,809
- Oh, it's not? Okay.
- No, no, no.
192
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:13,609
If we just put it right...
Let me just... So…
193
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,904
That... That has not
helped me at all.
194
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:21,992
I think we need to be here if
we want to steal that horse.
195
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,411
- Right.
- You're horse thieves? Rustlers.
196
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,788
- Who are you?
- I'm Kevin Haddock.
197
00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:28,415
And... Okay. What
are you doing here?
198
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,459
This is my bedroom.
What are you doing here?
199
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:33,962
And I'm not really allowed
visitors after 7:30.
200
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:36,673
Okay. Well, Devon Havelock...
201
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,634
- Paddock.
- It doesn't matter. I don't care.
202
00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:39,672
Widgit, it doesn't matter.
203
00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:42,930
This may be your room, but
it is also a time egress.
204
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:46,892
A transtemporal portal and an
extremely dangerous place to live.
205
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:50,145
So, if you could give me a minute's
peace, Widgit and I could figure out
206
00:12:50,229 --> 00:12:52,523
how to get out of here and
away from the Supreme Being.
207
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:54,566
- And then...
- The Supreme who, now?
208
00:12:57,653 --> 00:12:59,905
The Supreme Being knows all.
209
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,746
He looks unhappy!
210
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,873
Return the map.
211
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,917
Give it up, give up the map.
212
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,752
No. We are bandits,
we never give up.
213
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,630
Cower before me.
214
00:13:18,090 --> 00:13:21,176
Push that wall, Bittelig.
The map says it's an exit.
215
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:24,972
Push the wall. Push it.
216
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,273
It's never done that before.
217
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:38,527
You have stolen what is mine.
218
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:41,238
Kevin, you playing video games?
219
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,906
Good, Kevin. Very modern.
220
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,701
We've borrowed what is
yours. You'll get it back.
221
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:47,327
Is that... Is it God?
222
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:49,037
Kevin, we've only just met
223
00:13:49,121 --> 00:13:51,832
and you're already asking
very heavy questions, fella.
224
00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:54,459
I know… everything.
225
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,171
Jump!
226
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:02,301
Return the map! Return the map!
227
00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:03,760
What's happening?
228
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:06,221
Return the map!
229
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,490
- Oh, my!
- Oh. Good.
230
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,163
Okay, I'm okay, everyone.
231
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:33,707
I mean, everyone okay? I am.
232
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,751
Looks like we got
away from him again.
233
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:38,295
It was too close. I could
feel his breaths on me.
234
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,215
We can't get complacent, people.
I've been saying that, right?
235
00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:44,176
It's a dream. It's a dream.
It's a dream. It's a dream.
236
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:46,303
It's a dream. It's
gotta be a dream.
237
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,847
Hold on. How is he here?
238
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,432
How... What are you doing here?
239
00:14:50,516 --> 00:14:51,475
I-I don't know.
240
00:14:52,351 --> 00:14:55,020
Hmm. He doesn't
know. I'm an empath.
241
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:58,440
- That's how I knew, but yeah.
- All right. Well, that's that.
242
00:14:58,524 --> 00:14:59,858
Who is this guy?
243
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,401
Is he your
replacement for Susan?
244
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:02,986
Susan is irreplaceable,
Bittelig.
245
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,489
- He's no Susan.
- I don't know what's happening.
246
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,032
Well, we're talking about you
247
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:10,410
and our fallen fellow bandit,
Susan, who was the best of us.
248
00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:12,325
- Better than you.
- Very useful.
249
00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:14,206
Let's figure out
where and when we are.
250
00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:18,210
It seems to be a wobbly
room with no walls.
251
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:21,296
I've assumed, based on,
uh, the algorithm of, uh...
252
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:22,381
Algorithm?
253
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:30,764
Wait a minute.
254
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:36,061
That's a Chinese pirate flag,
and those are Chinese pirates.
255
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,355
And those are Chinese parrots.
256
00:15:39,273 --> 00:15:42,651
I think that's Madame
Chung. But it can't be.
257
00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,782
Flipping heck!
258
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:52,369
We're in the final battle between
Madame Chung and the British Navy.
259
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:55,122
- Uh, when was that?
- 1810. In Macau.
260
00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:58,792
- Guys, I worked it out. 1810, Macau.
- Oh, bravo!
261
00:15:58,876 --> 00:16:00,836
- Well done.
- Yeah, well done, Widgit.
262
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,921
- Like to hear a fact about Macau?
- No!
263
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:05,507
- Intruders!
- What? What?
264
00:16:05,591 --> 00:16:06,671
Spies!
265
00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:08,339
Is someone shooting
arrows at me?
266
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:09,428
Ow!
267
00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:12,055
- You okay?
- I'm fine. I can't die.
268
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,140
Everyone can die.
269
00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:15,722
- No, because it's a dream.
- I wouldn't count on that, lad.
270
00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:18,437
No, this is not a dream, buddy.
271
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,897
Fire!
272
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,067
Stop talking. Take cover!
273
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:29,448
Fire!
274
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,328
That door's a portal.
275
00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:37,206
- Run, run, run! Go, go, go!
- Run!
276
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:41,210
Through that door.
Come on, everyone!
277
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,341
Okay, so this is just a...
278
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:48,592
It's just a normal door.
279
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,053
Yeah. My mistake. Don't
need to go on about it.
280
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:54,932
No, no. But while we're here,
let's steal what we can. Get this.
281
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,679
That's interesting.
282
00:16:58,644 --> 00:17:00,479
Put them back. Put them back.
283
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:02,147
And putting it back.
284
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:04,983
That's fortunate.
285
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:06,234
Wow.
286
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:09,358
Right, I do see where I made a mistake.
The portal is actually 50 miles away.
287
00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:11,402
But if we make our way there...
it's not gonna be easy...
288
00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:13,742
we will find
ourselves in 1200 BCE.
289
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:16,161
Are we going to
the year 1200 BCE?
290
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,871
We are. We don't know you.
291
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,580
So, what is that? Is that a map?
292
00:17:19,665 --> 00:17:22,065
Don't answer him, Widgit.
He could be a map thief.
293
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,804
- So, it is a map.
- Yeah, it's a map. Yeah.
294
00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:24,837
Widgit!
295
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:28,131
It is not just a map.
It is a chart. Right?
296
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,300
- Yeah. A celestial...
- A celest... I got it.
297
00:17:30,384 --> 00:17:33,095
It's a celestial
chart of the anomalies
298
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:36,849
and portals of the intimately
interwoven intricacies
299
00:17:36,932 --> 00:17:41,353
of time, space, good and
bad, and all the dimensions,
300
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:43,272
including one, two,
three, and four.
301
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:46,859
And it allows us to travel
throughout the universe.
302
00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:48,694
- Whoa.
- Mm-hmm.
303
00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:51,738
Except for one corner
bit that got torn off.
304
00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:53,574
It's a map.
305
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,497
Oh, my gosh.
306
00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:02,291
That's Madame Chung.
307
00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:10,048
Yep, yep. That's definitely
her. Look at the headdress.
308
00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:20,184
Do you all speak Chinese?
309
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,810
- No.
- Of course, we don't.
310
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:32,529
You do, you were
just speaking it.
311
00:18:32,613 --> 00:18:34,656
- Don't think so. Ooh, right. Sorry.
- No.
312
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:37,326
Translation caps.
313
00:18:37,409 --> 00:18:40,996
Are you clear? Do you want
me to slice you in half?
314
00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:44,708
Eat your eyes.
315
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,297
What would your
families think of that?
316
00:18:50,923 --> 00:18:53,050
Okay. We really need
to get out of here.
317
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:55,344
You have 30 seconds
to tell me who you are
318
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:59,723
and what you are doing in my
cabin, or I will kill you.
319
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:01,850
I am Penelope,
320
00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:05,270
and although we don't ascribe to a
traditional structure of leadership,
321
00:19:05,354 --> 00:19:06,855
I am, in effect, the leader.
322
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:09,274
Oh.
323
00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:11,735
Fundamentally, though,
we are all equal.
324
00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:15,948
Fundamentally, I will
kill you all equally.
325
00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:19,535
Uh, excuse me. Um,
M-Madame Chung. Big fan.
326
00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:20,452
Kevin Haddock.
327
00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:25,082
I've read all about you in Pirates,
Swashbucklers, and Filthy Scoundrels.
328
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,125
Uh, you need to change course.
329
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:30,838
You're up against the British,
the Chinese, and the Portuguese.
330
00:19:30,921 --> 00:19:32,297
Uh, I know.
331
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,008
Well, he's just...
He's not with us.
332
00:19:35,092 --> 00:19:38,846
Madame Chung, you're going to hide
up the Canton River, aren't you?
333
00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:40,722
I was just contemplating that.
334
00:19:41,557 --> 00:19:43,976
I wasn't sure if it was
the correct maneuver.
335
00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:44,893
It is.
336
00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:47,729
Their ships are better armed,
but you know the waters.
337
00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:49,398
I knew it. I knew it.
338
00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:52,025
Their fat English
ships will get stuck.
339
00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:53,861
Hold on.
340
00:19:54,862 --> 00:19:56,029
You look a bit…
341
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,031
English.
342
00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:01,493
How do I know it's not a
trap and you're not a spy?
343
00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:04,746
Mmm. Yes, he could be.
Again, don't know him.
344
00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:06,373
And what other
choices have you got?
345
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:14,047
Bosun, change course.
346
00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:26,132
Very impressive.
347
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:28,687
Where did you get this idea?
348
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,231
It's your own strategy.
I can't take credit.
349
00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:33,609
- Bravo, "Kelvin."
- Well done, new guy.
350
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:35,402
That was a very Susan move.
351
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:37,070
Guys, we're coming
up to the spot.
352
00:20:37,154 --> 00:20:40,199
You want to be left here,
in the middle of nowhere?
353
00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:42,826
- Yes, please, Madame.
- Great. Let's go.
354
00:20:43,327 --> 00:20:46,455
Bye, and good luck telling people
things they already thought of.
355
00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:47,789
What, you're leaving me?
356
00:20:47,873 --> 00:20:49,913
I don't feel great about
abandoning a small boy.
357
00:20:49,917 --> 00:20:50,918
It's just cold.
358
00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:52,836
Yeah. Perhaps the boy
got something to offer.
359
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,213
- He can't help us.
- No.
360
00:20:54,296 --> 00:20:55,964
I could use him.
361
00:20:56,048 --> 00:20:58,342
Someone with great
knowledge. An adviser.
362
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,386
Would you like to
stay with me, Kevin?
363
00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:05,015
With a soothsayer like you, I could
control the seas and rule the world.
364
00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:07,768
You'll have riches
beyond belief.
365
00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:10,020
- What?
- Wow, that's actually very tempting...
366
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:13,524
Oh, but he's with us. So
sorry, he says our sooths.
367
00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:16,235
Let's go, "Kepler" or "Kamton."
368
00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,489
Somewhere there.
369
00:21:21,198 --> 00:21:22,533
Right, this is it.
370
00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:30,165
Up you go, "Kremin." Let's go!
371
00:21:30,249 --> 00:21:32,584
Oh!
372
00:21:42,845 --> 00:21:46,223
Okay, you get up and
read our futures.
373
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:48,684
Tell us where that treasure
is we're gonna find.
374
00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:52,062
But I can't read the future.
I just read about the past.
375
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:54,231
The past? Well, anyone
can read the past.
376
00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:56,316
So, he's not special,
as I had said.
377
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,987
- Yeah, you did say that.
- That madame tricked us into taking him.
378
00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:01,071
Oh, she's good.
379
00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:03,394
You're... You're gonna
have to be on your own now
380
00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:07,119
because we are a crack
team of expert thieves.
381
00:22:07,202 --> 00:22:11,915
And we move fast, so we can't let
some book reader slow us down.
382
00:22:11,999 --> 00:22:14,877
Let's spread out. See if we
can't find something to steal.
383
00:22:19,006 --> 00:22:21,300
What? What is it?
384
00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:23,260
- Is it valuable?
- Priceless.
385
00:22:25,846 --> 00:22:29,808
Stonehenge under construction!
386
00:22:31,435 --> 00:22:34,271
Right. Okay. So, uh… …how
do we get out of here?
387
00:22:34,354 --> 00:22:37,232
Well, according to my
calculations, based on science,
388
00:22:37,316 --> 00:22:40,986
next portal's opening up in
about... tomorrow morning.
389
00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:43,614
So, we can rest up because
there is no treasure here.
390
00:22:44,239 --> 00:22:46,992
No treasure? What do
you mean, "No treasure"?
391
00:22:47,075 --> 00:22:50,537
Stonehenge is the greatest
treasure imaginable.
392
00:22:50,621 --> 00:22:53,123
We can find out why
Stonehenge was built.
393
00:22:53,207 --> 00:22:56,585
A mystery that has
lasted over 4,000 years.
394
00:22:56,668 --> 00:22:58,212
That is not treasure.
395
00:22:59,046 --> 00:23:00,964
It is to me.
396
00:23:03,175 --> 00:23:04,259
Who is that little guy?
397
00:23:04,343 --> 00:23:05,344
I don't know.
398
00:23:06,470 --> 00:23:08,597
Maybe he is the new Susan.
399
00:23:13,018 --> 00:23:14,144
- No, no.
- No.
400
00:23:14,228 --> 00:23:17,064
Oi, come on, boys!
Put your back into it.
401
00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:18,649
Come on, sort that out.
402
00:23:18,732 --> 00:23:20,150
Right? Keep sweeping.
403
00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:21,944
Yeah, just keep...
I want all of that.
404
00:23:27,491 --> 00:23:29,030
Oh, brilliant. That's
another one dead.
405
00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:31,995
Alan. Alan, tell your boys to
pull their fingers out, mate.
406
00:23:32,079 --> 00:23:35,123
They can't. They literally
can't. They're stuck.
407
00:23:35,207 --> 00:23:37,125
What did your last
slaves die of?
408
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,169
Well, that rock there, innit?
409
00:23:39,253 --> 00:23:41,296
Um, e-excuse me.
410
00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:45,008
Look, we're going as fast as we can, mate.
All right? Be ready Tuesday, yeah. Oh.
411
00:23:45,092 --> 00:23:48,595
I just wanted to say I
think this is so magical.
412
00:23:48,679 --> 00:23:50,347
Oh, yeah? We just hope
this one stays up.
413
00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:52,432
Oh, it definitely will.
414
00:23:52,516 --> 00:23:55,098
Yeah, well, that's what they said
about all the other henges, wasn't it?
415
00:23:55,102 --> 00:23:56,770
- Like, Woodhenge.
- Yeah, for one.
416
00:23:56,854 --> 00:23:57,814
We tried them all, mate.
417
00:23:57,855 --> 00:24:00,357
We tried Woodhenge,
Strawhenge, Pebblehenge.
418
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,359
Peoplehenge, that was
another one we tried.
419
00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:05,988
It was basically just me, Alan, and a load
of the slaves all stood around like that.
420
00:24:06,071 --> 00:24:07,781
Just-Just... Look,
like this, you see?
421
00:24:07,865 --> 00:24:09,408
Didn't work. I've got sore arms.
422
00:24:09,491 --> 00:24:12,077
Did you manage to track
the movement of the stars?
423
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:12,995
You what?
424
00:24:13,078 --> 00:24:15,455
Isn't Stonehenge supposed
to be a map of the stars?
425
00:24:16,206 --> 00:24:18,125
Oh. Yeah, yeah, it can be.
426
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:19,376
But it must be.
427
00:24:19,459 --> 00:24:23,922
At solstice, the sun rises
directly above the heel stone.
428
00:24:24,006 --> 00:24:27,384
Oh. Does it? Right.
There you go.
429
00:24:28,135 --> 00:24:29,636
Which one's the
heel stone, then?
430
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,805
Will it be used for sacrifices?
431
00:24:31,889 --> 00:24:34,016
Can be. Can be used
for sacrifices. Yeah.
432
00:24:34,099 --> 00:24:37,102
The thing about Stonehenge is,
very much a venue for hire, innit?
433
00:24:37,186 --> 00:24:40,105
You know, you got your banquets,
your weddings, your sacrifices.
434
00:24:40,189 --> 00:24:43,233
Really, it's just a landmark,
innit? Something a bit different.
435
00:24:43,317 --> 00:24:46,820
Get the punters in and
gets them buying, don't it?
436
00:24:46,904 --> 00:24:48,614
What do you mean?
437
00:24:48,697 --> 00:24:49,615
Gift shop.
438
00:24:50,908 --> 00:24:51,909
Mini Stonehenges.
439
00:24:51,992 --> 00:24:53,698
We're bleeding 'em
dry. Do you want one?
440
00:24:53,702 --> 00:24:56,914
I'll give you one for a cabbage. Can't
say fairer than that. Early bird discount.
441
00:24:58,332 --> 00:24:59,833
Dad was right.
442
00:24:59,917 --> 00:25:02,461
It is just a pile of
rocks with a gift shop.
443
00:25:05,923 --> 00:25:07,966
Yeah, but that's the genius
of Stonehenge, innit?
444
00:25:08,967 --> 00:25:09,927
Still pretty cool.
445
00:25:10,010 --> 00:25:10,928
Yeah.
446
00:25:11,762 --> 00:25:13,889
Do you mind if I hang
around and watch?
447
00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:15,140
Help yourself, Son.
448
00:25:15,224 --> 00:25:17,351
Just, uh, don't let
anything fall on you.
449
00:25:18,060 --> 00:25:20,562
Oh, come on, Alan. Get
your back into it, mate.
450
00:25:23,774 --> 00:25:28,362
Bandits, to tomorrow. To
the heist of the centuries.
451
00:25:28,445 --> 00:25:29,446
Ah, tomorrow.
452
00:25:29,530 --> 00:25:35,244
People will speak of our exploits and
my... our leadership throughout the ages.
453
00:25:35,953 --> 00:25:37,871
To the greatest thieves ever.
454
00:25:37,955 --> 00:25:41,208
- To us.
- No, not yet. To us.
455
00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:42,622
- Now, drink it.
- Can we drink?
456
00:25:42,626 --> 00:25:45,128
- Who are you guys?
- Oh. My story?
457
00:25:45,212 --> 00:25:47,172
Yeah, you wanna hear my story.
458
00:25:47,256 --> 00:25:49,967
- All of you, really.
- I'm Penelope,
459
00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:52,886
but Firestorm is a nickname
that's catching on. Right, guys?
460
00:25:52,970 --> 00:25:54,888
- Yeah. It is. Yeah.
- Yeah.
461
00:25:54,972 --> 00:25:57,766
And my heart? Well, now
it's getting personal.
462
00:25:57,850 --> 00:26:01,937
Broken, and I am not going
to talk about my lost love,
463
00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:04,398
my fiancé, who's gone missing.
464
00:26:04,940 --> 00:26:06,316
Okay.
465
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,236
I'm not the leader, but
I am the one in charge.
466
00:26:09,319 --> 00:26:11,405
Well, we still need
to talk that over.
467
00:26:11,488 --> 00:26:14,241
And this is Judy. She has
no respect for leadership.
468
00:26:14,992 --> 00:26:19,121
She is the master psychologist.
She can get inside your mind.
469
00:26:19,204 --> 00:26:20,444
She knows what you're thinking.
470
00:26:20,914 --> 00:26:21,790
You're sad.
471
00:26:21,874 --> 00:26:24,001
This is the happiest
day of my life.
472
00:26:24,501 --> 00:26:25,335
I'm new at this.
473
00:26:25,419 --> 00:26:29,173
And this is Alto. No one knows
the real Alto, including Alto.
474
00:26:29,256 --> 00:26:30,674
He's the master of disguise.
475
00:26:30,757 --> 00:26:32,718
From my days in the
theater, you understand?
476
00:26:32,801 --> 00:26:35,521
Hello. My name is Walter.
I am a backpacker.
477
00:26:36,597 --> 00:26:37,472
Voilà!
478
00:26:37,556 --> 00:26:40,475
It is me, Alto, the man
you met only a moment ago.
479
00:26:40,559 --> 00:26:41,602
I loved it.
480
00:26:41,685 --> 00:26:43,016
- Emotions, everything.
- Thank you.
481
00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:46,023
- Absolutely extraordinary.
- And this is Widgit.
482
00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:49,693
He's the master map reader. He doesn't
like you, and he doesn't trust you.
483
00:26:49,776 --> 00:26:53,030
- Don't like ya, and I don't trust ya.
- But you've only just met me.
484
00:26:53,113 --> 00:26:56,325
All the more reason not to trust you,
Kevin. If that is your real name.
485
00:26:56,408 --> 00:26:59,036
It's stitched in the
back of my pajamas.
486
00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:04,082
- Oh, his story checks out.
- And this is Bittelig.
487
00:27:04,833 --> 00:27:08,795
He has the strength of
seven average-strength men.
488
00:27:08,879 --> 00:27:10,639
You think seven?
489
00:27:11,215 --> 00:27:14,218
- Let's say seven average-strength men…
- Whoa.
490
00:27:14,301 --> 00:27:17,763
…as you saw when he knocked down
your bedroom wall with his hands.
491
00:27:17,846 --> 00:27:20,390
He also has a sensitive side.
492
00:27:21,642 --> 00:27:23,435
He Hasn't. He's a maniac.
493
00:27:26,271 --> 00:27:28,982
And why were you running
from the big head?
494
00:27:29,066 --> 00:27:32,277
Well, because we were on the
run from the Supreme Being.
495
00:27:32,361 --> 00:27:34,488
And the Supreme
Being's a big head?
496
00:27:34,571 --> 00:27:36,156
Well, in this instance, yes.
497
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:40,619
Yeah, the Supreme Being is mad at
us. He was our boss. We upset him.
498
00:27:40,702 --> 00:27:42,659
- What did you do?
- Well, he didn't appreciate us.
499
00:27:42,663 --> 00:27:46,083
He always used to try and make us do
things exactly like he wanted them done.
500
00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:47,668
- Uh-huh.
- So, we stole the map
501
00:27:47,751 --> 00:27:49,211
and went on the run together.
502
00:27:49,294 --> 00:27:50,974
And he knows we did it
'cause he knows all.
503
00:27:51,004 --> 00:27:53,173
Why doesn't he know
how to catch you, then?
504
00:27:53,257 --> 00:27:55,342
- Very tricky without the map.
- Bam!
505
00:27:55,425 --> 00:27:58,470
- Food is ready. Penelope.
- Ah!
506
00:27:58,554 --> 00:28:00,347
Thank you.
507
00:28:00,430 --> 00:28:03,308
- This is for you. Yes.
- Oh. Wow, thanks.
508
00:28:04,393 --> 00:28:06,311
And a special
double bowl for you.
509
00:28:08,188 --> 00:28:09,982
This is a dog bowl.
510
00:28:14,486 --> 00:28:18,866
Well, maybe it's not my place, but
I-I don't think it's cool to steal…
511
00:28:19,950 --> 00:28:22,744
…and it's especially uncool
to steal from history.
512
00:28:24,037 --> 00:28:26,248
- Can we get rid of this guy?
- Or just leave him here.
513
00:28:26,331 --> 00:28:30,335
Penelope, Widgit, we should
take him back to his home.
514
00:28:31,086 --> 00:28:34,965
Okay. Well, then, after we steal
the horse, we can take you back to…
515
00:28:35,549 --> 00:28:37,467
Bingley, 2024.
516
00:28:37,551 --> 00:28:40,637
Uh-huh. So, that's,
uh, "Binggerly, 2022."
517
00:28:55,068 --> 00:28:58,197
You know what? Now, let's take
a moment to commemorate Susan.
518
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,406
Thoughts about Susan.
519
00:28:59,489 --> 00:29:01,074
- Go.
- Susan. She was...
520
00:29:01,158 --> 00:29:02,576
But just thoughts.
521
00:29:35,359 --> 00:29:37,694
Damon.
522
00:29:37,778 --> 00:29:39,863
No, not you, Demon.
I said Damon.
523
00:29:41,532 --> 00:29:43,200
Well, they do
sound very similar.
524
00:29:43,700 --> 00:29:45,327
Damon!
525
00:29:45,410 --> 00:29:47,496
Darkest Darkness.
526
00:29:48,997 --> 00:29:50,541
Purest Evil.
527
00:29:50,624 --> 00:29:54,586
How's spying going? What
news from the sky citadel?
528
00:29:54,670 --> 00:29:55,796
Oh, just the usual.
529
00:29:56,505 --> 00:29:57,840
Inventing flowers,
530
00:29:58,799 --> 00:30:00,717
inspiring birds to sing.
531
00:30:00,801 --> 00:30:02,469
Ugh. Disgusting.
532
00:30:03,512 --> 00:30:06,640
If I ruled this universe,
I would turn it inside out.
533
00:30:07,432 --> 00:30:08,684
Oh, yes.
534
00:30:09,726 --> 00:30:11,103
If I had the plans for it.
535
00:30:11,603 --> 00:30:15,357
You know, Shadow of
Shadows, plans do exist.
536
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,818
Of course I know that.
I told you that, Damon.
537
00:30:17,901 --> 00:30:20,612
Don't come down here telling
me things that I told you
538
00:30:20,696 --> 00:30:22,531
and pass them off
as new information.
539
00:30:22,614 --> 00:30:26,368
Of course. But what you might
like to know, Your Wrongness,
540
00:30:26,451 --> 00:30:28,704
is that the plans
have been stolen.
541
00:30:29,913 --> 00:30:31,331
What did you say?
542
00:30:31,415 --> 00:30:36,378
I overheard the Supreme Being
mentioning that they've been taken.
543
00:30:36,461 --> 00:30:38,922
Someone stole the
blueprints for the universe…
544
00:30:39,006 --> 00:30:40,716
- Mm-hmm.
- …from the Supreme...
545
00:30:44,303 --> 00:30:47,598
Yes, a rogue faction of
the flora department.
546
00:30:48,891 --> 00:30:53,562
I can't steal it from him, but
perhaps I could take it from them.
547
00:30:56,356 --> 00:31:00,194
I need to get to them
before the Supre... does.
548
00:31:00,277 --> 00:31:01,570
Good work, Damon.
549
00:31:02,905 --> 00:31:03,947
Not you, Demon.
550
00:31:05,073 --> 00:31:10,537
With those plans, I could
create a universe of pure evil.
551
00:31:11,121 --> 00:31:13,332
Rats would eat cats,
552
00:31:13,415 --> 00:31:17,169
parrots would shout out insults
at you throughout the night,
553
00:31:17,252 --> 00:31:18,921
never letting you sleep.
554
00:31:19,004 --> 00:31:21,673
Everywhere you go would be up.
555
00:31:21,757 --> 00:31:25,802
You start from point A,
go to point B, it's up.
556
00:31:25,886 --> 00:31:30,224
And then when you go from point
B back to point A, also up.
557
00:31:32,184 --> 00:31:33,389
I've thought it
out. It would work.
558
00:31:33,393 --> 00:31:35,646
Instead of water, acid.
559
00:31:35,729 --> 00:31:38,232
Instead of flowers, thorns.
560
00:31:38,315 --> 00:31:40,776
Some people will have
eyes in their buttocks.
561
00:31:40,859 --> 00:31:42,069
So, you have to make a choice.
562
00:31:42,152 --> 00:31:46,114
Walk around naked and see,
or wear pants and be blind.
563
00:31:46,657 --> 00:31:50,661
And everything,
everything will be sharp.
564
00:31:51,578 --> 00:31:52,955
- Ow.
- Sounds awful.
565
00:31:53,038 --> 00:31:54,748
Thank you, Damon.
566
00:31:54,831 --> 00:31:55,707
Thank you, Demon.
567
00:31:55,791 --> 00:31:57,960
Your Wrongness, I
overheard the Supreme Being
568
00:31:58,043 --> 00:32:01,046
talking about where he was
going to go to find the map.
569
00:32:01,964 --> 00:32:04,466
Little place called…
570
00:32:09,054 --> 00:32:11,932
Bingley, 2024.
571
00:32:12,015 --> 00:32:13,016
Oh.
572
00:32:13,892 --> 00:32:14,935
Call for the Huntress.
573
00:32:16,854 --> 00:32:17,515
Fianna!
574
00:32:22,693 --> 00:32:25,108
But do you think you can
get us back to his bedroom?
575
00:32:25,112 --> 00:32:28,115
Yeah, but I've never seen so
many portals in one place.
576
00:32:28,198 --> 00:32:29,616
Maybe his room's special.
577
00:32:29,700 --> 00:32:31,364
- Okay, but he's not special…
- Nah.
578
00:32:31,368 --> 00:32:34,033
- …right? What happens...
- Ow! My hair's stuck under a rock.
579
00:32:34,037 --> 00:32:36,290
- Ow.
- Why is your hair under a rock?
580
00:32:36,373 --> 00:32:38,121
Because it was blowing
in the wind all night,
581
00:32:38,125 --> 00:32:40,005
so I had to put something
on it to keep it down.
582
00:32:42,045 --> 00:32:43,918
- That's better.
- Yeah!
583
00:32:43,922 --> 00:32:45,966
The portal is
opening. It's there.
584
00:32:46,049 --> 00:32:48,886
Let's go, let's go,
let's go. Portal's there.
585
00:32:48,969 --> 00:32:53,682
No, no, no. Oh, drats.
586
00:32:53,765 --> 00:32:56,977
We missed them placing
the lintel stone.
587
00:32:57,060 --> 00:32:58,740
I bet we're all kicking
ourselves for that.
588
00:32:58,812 --> 00:33:00,522
No, we don't care. Let's go.
589
00:33:00,606 --> 00:33:03,692
- Stop, stop. Widgit, I say let's go.
- Oh.
590
00:33:06,403 --> 00:33:08,989
- Let's go. We have a horse to steal.
- Yeah.
591
00:33:17,331 --> 00:33:20,292
Well, if this is a dream,
I don't want it to end.
592
00:33:40,103 --> 00:33:44,358
Should be coming over something
what resembles... Oh, there it is.
593
00:33:44,441 --> 00:33:46,860
- Oh, wow. It's magnificent.
- What?
594
00:33:46,944 --> 00:33:50,489
Ooh.
595
00:33:50,572 --> 00:33:53,075
- I've done it. We've done it. All of us.
- Yeah.
596
00:33:53,158 --> 00:33:54,447
- Not just me.
- Yeah,
597
00:33:54,451 --> 00:33:56,371
- it was collective, wasn't it?
- Hmm.
598
00:34:01,250 --> 00:34:04,461
Oh, my flipping flip!
599
00:34:05,629 --> 00:34:08,422
I'm sorry for the language,
but it's flipping Troy.
600
00:34:08,507 --> 00:34:10,132
Damn right, it's Troy.
601
00:34:18,559 --> 00:34:22,771
So, wait, the horse you're going
to steal is the Trojan horse?
602
00:34:22,855 --> 00:34:25,148
Absolutely. The world's
most famous horse.
603
00:34:25,232 --> 00:34:26,440
It's too big to steal.
604
00:34:26,525 --> 00:34:29,069
Nothing is too big
for us to steal.
605
00:34:38,829 --> 00:34:41,748
Okay, now that we're close,
maybe it is too big to steal.
606
00:34:41,831 --> 00:34:44,247
- It looked smaller in the drawings.
- Were they small drawings?
607
00:34:44,251 --> 00:34:45,831
All drawings should
be life-sized.
608
00:34:45,835 --> 00:34:47,791
We could chop it up and put all
the pieces back together later.
609
00:34:47,795 --> 00:34:50,966
Okay, and then what, just carry
firewood throughout all time?
610
00:34:51,049 --> 00:34:55,429
We could take each piece,
mark it C, D, E, F, G.
611
00:34:55,512 --> 00:34:56,554
- Alto.
- Put it together.
612
00:34:56,638 --> 00:34:58,386
- Alto.
- We could use numbers. Whatever you want.
613
00:34:58,390 --> 00:35:00,434
I... I don't wanna say
that's a stupid suggestion,
614
00:35:00,517 --> 00:35:02,477
but I can't think
of a different word.
615
00:35:02,561 --> 00:35:04,521
Well, it was your idea
to steal this horse.
616
00:35:04,605 --> 00:35:06,186
Can't believe we
failed our first heist.
617
00:35:06,190 --> 00:35:07,608
Your first heist?
618
00:35:07,691 --> 00:35:10,736
I didn't leave my cushy job at the
shrubbery department to chop up horses.
619
00:35:10,819 --> 00:35:13,109
- So, now it's a cushy job?
- You can't chop it up.
620
00:35:13,113 --> 00:35:16,116
- There are people inside it.
- Why would they put people in it?
621
00:35:16,742 --> 00:35:18,994
- As a surprise?
- Quite right, Bittelig.
622
00:35:19,077 --> 00:35:21,955
The Greeks are gonna be
wheeled into the city walls,
623
00:35:22,039 --> 00:35:25,375
open the gate for the rest, and
ambush the Trojans in the morning.
624
00:35:25,459 --> 00:35:29,004
Okay, Well, this was a
colossal waste of time travel.
625
00:35:29,087 --> 00:35:30,380
Widgit, where's the next portal?
626
00:35:30,464 --> 00:35:33,675
I mean, the map says it's
about 50 feet that way. So…
627
00:35:34,968 --> 00:35:37,262
- It's in Troy.
- Oh.
628
00:35:37,346 --> 00:35:41,141
Okay, well, we have to get to the
portal. So, how do we get in there?
629
00:35:41,225 --> 00:35:42,935
The only way in is
inside the horse.
630
00:35:44,728 --> 00:35:47,981
- Psst! Keep quiet, please.
- You cannot be right.
631
00:35:48,857 --> 00:35:52,027
- You Trojans?
- No, we're bandits.
632
00:35:52,110 --> 00:35:55,405
Good. Because we are doing
a huge trick on the Trojans.
633
00:35:55,489 --> 00:35:58,617
It's a brilliant plan and you
ruin it by standing there.
634
00:35:58,700 --> 00:36:02,663
We just want to see inside because
we want to see how ingenious it is.
635
00:36:02,746 --> 00:36:05,832
You do, huh? Okay, come
in, but be quick, huh?
636
00:36:05,916 --> 00:36:06,875
Come on, little one.
637
00:36:07,626 --> 00:36:12,297
Up! Okay.
638
00:36:12,381 --> 00:36:14,299
Ajax, who's this?
639
00:36:14,383 --> 00:36:16,927
They're tourists. They want to
have one quick look. Just one.
640
00:36:17,010 --> 00:36:19,179
- Okay.
- Hold this.
641
00:36:20,430 --> 00:36:22,432
- Come through. Make some room.
- Wow.
642
00:36:22,516 --> 00:36:25,519
Watch your head,
watch your head. See?
643
00:36:26,478 --> 00:36:28,118
No one is stupid enough
to fall for this.
644
00:36:28,146 --> 00:36:29,147
Oh?
645
00:36:29,731 --> 00:36:34,111
No one is stupid enough to fall for
a brilliant plan, hey? Oh, okay.
646
00:36:34,194 --> 00:36:36,613
What? They're just gonna
bring in a giant horse?
647
00:36:36,697 --> 00:36:40,158
Yes, you would bring a giant, beautiful
horse like this with beautiful eyes.
648
00:36:40,242 --> 00:36:44,162
Okay. Where are they gonna put this
thing, hmm? In a giant wooden field?
649
00:36:44,246 --> 00:36:45,622
It will work.
650
00:36:45,706 --> 00:36:47,165
Thank you.
651
00:36:47,249 --> 00:36:48,329
How do you know?
652
00:36:48,375 --> 00:36:49,209
It's history.
653
00:36:49,293 --> 00:36:52,462
It's not history. It's the
future. The future of warfare.
654
00:36:53,505 --> 00:36:55,841
Hey.
655
00:36:55,924 --> 00:36:58,135
Hey. Move, please.
656
00:36:58,218 --> 00:37:00,133
- Very special.
- Let's take a look.
657
00:37:00,137 --> 00:37:02,218
They compensate for
everything, those Greeks.
658
00:37:02,222 --> 00:37:05,142
Well, well, well. Look.
659
00:37:06,018 --> 00:37:08,854
Someone's put a lot of
time into this, huh?
660
00:37:08,937 --> 00:37:09,938
Yes.
661
00:37:10,022 --> 00:37:11,481
Look at this. Look
at this paint.
662
00:37:11,565 --> 00:37:13,400
The structure is nice, you know?
663
00:37:13,483 --> 00:37:15,652
Beautiful, but
solid too, actually.
664
00:37:15,736 --> 00:37:16,900
Look at the craftsmanship here.
665
00:37:16,904 --> 00:37:19,072
Yeah, well, Greeks are
known for this, you know?
666
00:37:19,156 --> 00:37:20,278
They love the horse.
667
00:37:20,282 --> 00:37:22,618
They love it.
668
00:37:22,701 --> 00:37:26,371
- Hey, psst!
- Well done.
669
00:37:27,247 --> 00:37:29,416
Hey, look at the eyes.
670
00:37:29,499 --> 00:37:30,751
Oh, my goodness.
671
00:37:30,834 --> 00:37:34,463
They are gorgeous, Ophelestes.
672
00:37:34,546 --> 00:37:36,465
Absolutely stunning.
673
00:37:36,548 --> 00:37:38,926
Hey, Odysseus, they
mentioned the eyes.
674
00:37:39,009 --> 00:37:40,052
I made the eyes.
675
00:37:44,973 --> 00:37:47,055
Don't you think it's a little
bit suspicious, Xanthus?
676
00:37:47,059 --> 00:37:49,686
That's the most suspicious thing
I've ever seen, Ophelestes.
677
00:37:50,729 --> 00:37:53,398
- I think we should burn it.
- Burn it.
678
00:37:53,482 --> 00:37:54,896
I was thinking the
exact same thing.
679
00:37:54,900 --> 00:37:57,528
Okay, to the right, to the right,
to the left. To the left...
680
00:37:57,611 --> 00:37:59,196
This isn't good.
681
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:01,573
What is it, Odysseus?
682
00:38:01,657 --> 00:38:02,658
They don't like horses.
683
00:38:02,741 --> 00:38:03,951
They lit the horse on fire.
684
00:38:04,034 --> 00:38:05,661
- What?
- Hmm?
685
00:38:05,744 --> 00:38:06,745
Oh, look at that.
686
00:38:06,828 --> 00:38:07,913
Oh, look. Fantastic.
687
00:38:07,996 --> 00:38:09,916
- It's really on fire now, huh?
- Oh, absolutely.
688
00:38:09,998 --> 00:38:12,580
- You're getting smarter with this stuff.
- I think we're getting good.
689
00:38:12,584 --> 00:38:14,586
I told you all to follow
me. It would work.
690
00:38:14,670 --> 00:38:16,880
We jump out of a wooden
horse and surprise them.
691
00:38:16,964 --> 00:38:18,298
I messed up. I'm so sorry.
692
00:38:18,382 --> 00:38:20,634
Diomedes, I'm sorry. I love you.
693
00:38:20,717 --> 00:38:23,345
Not only did we not steal the
horse, now we're gonna die in it.
694
00:38:23,428 --> 00:38:26,098
It's just a dream.
It's just a dream.
695
00:38:26,181 --> 00:38:29,142
It is not a dream. Look
at how realistic this is.
696
00:38:29,226 --> 00:38:30,811
I feel sorry for all of us.
697
00:38:30,894 --> 00:38:33,438
- I wanna scream.
- You have to do it quietly, please.
698
00:38:33,522 --> 00:38:36,108
Quieter.
699
00:38:39,319 --> 00:38:40,696
Quiet.
700
00:38:40,779 --> 00:38:42,239
I'm scared.
701
00:38:43,907 --> 00:38:45,075
Catching on quick, huh?
702
00:38:45,158 --> 00:38:46,618
Well, it is wood, Ophelestes.
703
00:38:46,702 --> 00:38:48,912
The most flammable substance
known to modern human...
704
00:38:48,996 --> 00:38:52,416
Hey, hey, hey! W-Why are you
burning this beautiful artwork?
705
00:38:52,499 --> 00:38:54,293
Put this fire out now!
706
00:38:54,376 --> 00:38:56,253
Absolutely, sir.
Okay, uh, running now.
707
00:38:56,336 --> 00:38:58,168
We thought it looked
suspicious, sir.
708
00:38:58,172 --> 00:39:00,799
Where have you ever seen
something like this?
709
00:39:00,883 --> 00:39:03,510
Well, never. That's why we
thought it was suspicious.
710
00:39:03,594 --> 00:39:06,972
It's a tribute from the losing
army to our great skills in battle.
711
00:39:07,055 --> 00:39:09,349
It's... It's bloody beautiful.
712
00:39:09,433 --> 00:39:10,601
Open the gates…
713
00:39:10,684 --> 00:39:13,687
- and wheel this into the city now!
- Okay. Open the gates! Come on!
714
00:39:13,770 --> 00:39:15,772
Hey. Guys. Can't you see?
715
00:39:15,856 --> 00:39:17,191
It's very suspicious.
716
00:39:17,774 --> 00:39:21,153
That horse will be
the downfall of Troy!
717
00:39:23,113 --> 00:39:25,449
Ah, come on, Cassandra.
That's not true.
718
00:39:25,532 --> 00:39:27,238
That's ridiculous. You're
being so hyperbolic now.
719
00:39:27,242 --> 00:39:29,282
- Where are you getting this from, huh?
- Forget it.
720
00:39:35,042 --> 00:39:36,376
Everyone, shut up.
721
00:39:37,753 --> 00:39:40,339
They're putting out the
fire. We're being wheeled in.
722
00:39:40,923 --> 00:39:42,549
Kevin, you were right.
723
00:39:42,633 --> 00:39:45,135
- I was?
- Ah!
724
00:39:45,219 --> 00:39:47,888
Maybe he's a potential bandit.
725
00:39:47,971 --> 00:39:49,469
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Easy, easy.
726
00:39:49,473 --> 00:39:52,851
There's a very thorough selection
process to be in the Time Bandits.
727
00:39:52,935 --> 00:39:56,021
Is there? I thought you asked everyone
and we're the only ones who said yes.
728
00:39:56,104 --> 00:39:57,564
That was the process.
729
00:39:57,648 --> 00:39:58,649
That's it.
730
00:39:58,732 --> 00:40:03,028
Psst! Hey, keep quiet, please.
This is a stealth mission.
731
00:40:12,913 --> 00:40:13,997
I knew we'd make it.
732
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,038
Didn't look like you knew. Looked
like you were about to cry.
733
00:40:17,042 --> 00:40:18,915
- But in the books...
- Oh! "In the books." "In the books."
734
00:40:18,919 --> 00:40:21,588
Are you mentioned in the books?
Are we mentioned in the books?
735
00:40:21,672 --> 00:40:24,842
Because just our being here might
change some things. We don't know.
736
00:40:24,925 --> 00:40:26,969
All right, everybody is a
little bit stressed out.
737
00:40:27,052 --> 00:40:28,720
Might I suggest a
breathing exercise?
738
00:40:28,804 --> 00:40:30,222
When I argue with my sister,
739
00:40:30,305 --> 00:40:33,809
my parents suggest a time-out until
we appreciate each other again.
740
00:40:33,892 --> 00:40:37,229
Well, when we take you back to your
time, you'll be out of our lives.
741
00:40:37,312 --> 00:40:38,814
Clever.
742
00:40:38,897 --> 00:40:40,190
That was harsh, uh, Penelope.
743
00:40:40,274 --> 00:40:41,817
He almost got us burned alive.
744
00:40:41,900 --> 00:40:43,777
No, I get why you're angry,
745
00:40:43,861 --> 00:40:48,448
but I just think you made all of us
very uncomfortable except Widgit.
746
00:40:48,532 --> 00:40:50,951
Widgit, do we have five
minutes to steal stuff
747
00:40:51,034 --> 00:40:52,744
before we have to
find the next portal?
748
00:40:52,828 --> 00:40:55,205
- Yeah, we got five minutes.
- Great. Let's scatter.
749
00:40:55,289 --> 00:40:57,416
Steal for five minutes,
meet back at the fountain.
750
00:40:57,499 --> 00:40:58,625
- Yeah.
- Good.
751
00:40:59,251 --> 00:41:01,587
No, Bittelig. Smaller, smaller.
752
00:41:03,172 --> 00:41:05,172
- Scatter! Hurry!
- Yeah, yeah.
753
00:41:12,472 --> 00:41:13,724
Hey. Psst.
754
00:41:15,100 --> 00:41:15,976
Psst.
755
00:41:18,812 --> 00:41:20,314
They didn't believe you.
756
00:41:20,397 --> 00:41:21,732
No, but I was right.
757
00:41:22,316 --> 00:41:25,736
I can sympathize. I
have a big curse on me.
758
00:41:25,819 --> 00:41:29,364
I can see the future, but no
one ever believes what I say.
759
00:41:29,448 --> 00:41:31,575
- No.
- You see?
760
00:41:32,242 --> 00:41:34,203
So, you must be…
761
00:41:35,037 --> 00:41:36,538
- Cassandra.
- Cassandra.
762
00:41:36,622 --> 00:41:38,165
You've heard of me?
763
00:41:38,749 --> 00:41:42,044
Wow. Yes, I am,
uh... I am Cassandra.
764
00:41:42,127 --> 00:41:44,630
Wait. No. You can't
be. It's a myth.
765
00:41:44,713 --> 00:41:46,048
Again, you don't believe me.
766
00:41:47,841 --> 00:41:50,010
Watch out, Panthous, you
going to fall off that wall.
767
00:41:50,093 --> 00:41:54,097
Ah, come on, Cassandra.
768
00:41:54,181 --> 00:41:57,059
He's okay. He's fine.
769
00:41:57,142 --> 00:41:59,933
- He's really okay. He didn't believe me.
- You distracted me.
770
00:41:59,937 --> 00:42:01,980
It's frustrating, isn't it?
771
00:42:02,064 --> 00:42:04,107
To be right, but no
one listens to you.
772
00:42:04,191 --> 00:42:06,818
All my life, I wished
I'd go back in time.
773
00:42:06,902 --> 00:42:09,488
Now I'm here, I don't
know if I belong here.
774
00:42:09,571 --> 00:42:11,031
You are important.
775
00:42:12,491 --> 00:42:13,367
I'm really not.
776
00:42:13,450 --> 00:42:17,996
How many times I have to tell
you? I see the future, okay?
777
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,916
You are going to tell
stories to kings.
778
00:42:20,999 --> 00:42:23,669
You're going to jump
together from a high cliff,
779
00:42:23,752 --> 00:42:25,420
won't even break your skeletons.
780
00:42:25,504 --> 00:42:29,216
You're going to see great
structures before they are great.
781
00:42:29,299 --> 00:42:31,134
You see creatures
that are long gone.
782
00:42:31,218 --> 00:42:33,679
You see places I only
see in my visions.
783
00:42:34,513 --> 00:42:36,306
And you will see sadness,
784
00:42:36,390 --> 00:42:39,184
but you have to stick
with these stupid thieves
785
00:42:39,268 --> 00:42:42,271
because you are going
to save the universe.
786
00:42:43,230 --> 00:42:46,108
None of that sounds plausible,
but that's the curse, isn't it?
787
00:42:46,900 --> 00:42:48,694
- Psst.
- Psst. Hey.
788
00:42:48,777 --> 00:42:52,030
- Oh, Kev... Kevin, it's me, Bittelig.
- Kevin. Come on. Quickly.
789
00:42:52,114 --> 00:42:54,783
Hey. We found the portal.
Come. We take you home.
790
00:42:55,701 --> 00:42:58,620
You go, little hero. We
will see each other again.
791
00:43:00,539 --> 00:43:02,207
You were right about the horse.
792
00:43:02,291 --> 00:43:04,459
I bloody knew this.
793
00:43:06,670 --> 00:43:08,172
What did everyone steal?
794
00:43:08,255 --> 00:43:10,174
- I got this beautiful vase.
- Vase.
795
00:43:10,257 --> 00:43:11,466
- Oh. I have a vase.
- Vase.
796
00:43:11,550 --> 00:43:13,969
- Yeah, I got a vase.
- Everyone? Everyone got a vase?
797
00:43:14,052 --> 00:43:16,597
- Yeah.
- What did you steal?
798
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,557
Nothing. It's wrong to steal.
799
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,976
Huh? Oh.
800
00:43:21,685 --> 00:43:24,396
- Yes. Okay. Let's take him home.
- Yeah.
801
00:43:24,479 --> 00:43:26,231
- Finally.
- So, Widgit,
802
00:43:26,315 --> 00:43:29,443
- "Binggerly, 2022."
- All right, "Kelvin."
803
00:43:29,943 --> 00:43:31,783
- Kevin.
- Yeah. I don't care.
804
00:43:42,497 --> 00:43:43,707
Fianna, the Huntress.
805
00:43:43,790 --> 00:43:45,083
Oh, not Fianna.
806
00:43:45,167 --> 00:43:47,377
- What's wrong with Fianna?
- She's full-on.
807
00:44:00,098 --> 00:44:02,976
You will obtain the
plans for the universe,
808
00:44:03,060 --> 00:44:05,521
also known as the map.
809
00:44:05,604 --> 00:44:08,065
You will lie encased in rock,
810
00:44:08,148 --> 00:44:12,277
waiting for your moment to
strike in a place called...
811
00:44:12,361 --> 00:44:14,404
- Bingley.
- Bingley.
812
00:44:14,488 --> 00:44:15,948
2024.
813
00:44:16,031 --> 00:44:18,659
Thousands of years
in the future.
814
00:44:18,742 --> 00:44:21,078
You will wait until it is time,
815
00:44:21,161 --> 00:44:24,790
and you will take the
plans and give them to me.
816
00:44:25,374 --> 00:44:28,293
And destroy anything
that gets in your way.
817
00:44:30,295 --> 00:44:33,340
Remember, Fianna, these
thieves have stolen
818
00:44:33,423 --> 00:44:38,303
from the Supre… …himself.
819
00:44:39,555 --> 00:44:41,807
We're dealing with
master geniuses.
820
00:44:43,141 --> 00:44:45,227
Take no chances.62764
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