All language subtitles for Recipe.For.A.Perfect.Christmas.2005.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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[rock rendition of
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[JJ] Happy holidays,
Sondra Sumner'’s office.

You'’ll have it
first thing Monday.

Happy holidays,
Sondra Sumner'’s office.

A pâté can be made
from almost anything.

Foie gras can only be
goose liver.

You'’re welcome.

JJ, you wanna
put up the angel?

No, thanks.

What about Frosty?
He'’s such a cutie.

I'’m not really into
Christmas, Reynard.

You waste money you don'’t have
and spend time

with people you don'’t like.

Sondra Sumner'’s office.

Ms. Sumner is leaving
the magazine.

Mr. Malcolm Bristol will be
the new food critic.

Thank you.

Have you met your new boss?

No, but I can'’t wait,
he'’s supposed to be brilliant.

Hottest thing in London.

He'’d better be,
for what we'’re paying him.

Don'’t stay too late.
Party starts in two hours.

I won'’t, promise.

-Here you go, JJ.
-Thanks.

All right, I'’m out of here.

Okay.
Did Miles call?

Uh, not yet.

What else is new?

Maybe he'’s assisting in surgery
or something.

I thought he was an intern.

Interns can assist in surgeries.
Can'’t they?

Ah, remind me not to go
to his hospital.

Nice.

Ooh! I gotta get out of here.

Oh, my C-section'’s scheduled
in two hours.

How'’s the polish
on my farewell piece?

Uh, third paragraph needs to be
the opening,

and the close isn'’t as strong
as it should be.

Did you mean to put it
in the past tense?

You know what? Do what you think
is right, then hand it in.

Oh!

Natives are restless.
[chuckles]

Yeah, it'’s been a great gig,
but I am on to bigger things.

Oh!

Okay, okay, we'’re going.
[chuckles]

Okay.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Glow Manhattan.

Ah, no, the office is closed.

Could you page him
one more time, please?

No, I'’m not his patient, I'm...

Never mind.

Taxi!

Taxi!

Taxi!

[tires screech]

Taxi!

[driver] Hi, ma'’am.

Thank you.

Taxi!

[people chattering, laughing]

Merry Christmas.

[photographer]
Right here. One shot.

Mr. McNeil, so good to see you.

Molly, right?

Morgan.

[photographer]
Clay, right here! Clay!

Merry Christmas.

Thank you.

-Hey, sorry I'’m late.
-Hey.

So, what happened?
Did you ever find Miles?

No.

Well, maybe be got mugged.
Or hit by a car.

Oh, you'’re just trying
to cheer me up.

[chuckles]

[JJ] Oh, that'’s Malcolm Bristol.

[Morgan] Mr. Bristol!

I'’m Morgan, and this is
your lucky assistant, JJ,

and we'’re both thrilled
to be working with you.

Well, aren'’t you
a delightful little cream puff.

And you'’re quite delicious
as well.

Hope you'’re ready
for a lot of overtime.

[laughs]

-Ew!
-Oh!

Another Christmas party.
You'’re screwed, Alex.

Tell me about it.

A hungry guy'’s driving down
the street,

looks at your place,
empty as a tomb,

looks across the street,
you'’re double screwed.

The food is probably horrible.

Who cares? Look at the money
going into that place.

It'’s the flavor of the week,
Johnny.

It'’ll be out of business
in six months.

How long you think you'’ll last,
10 customers a night?

Hey, 10 tonight,
20 tomorrow.

Do you even know
what I'’m doing here?

Trying to build a nice,
quality little restaurant,

one that'’s still gonna be here
when that dump

across the street'’s
a dry cleaner'’s.

Nobody knows who you are.

Maybe you need a press agent
or something.

I'’m a cook, John.

I'’m not into
that celebrity crap.

As your brother-in-law,
my heart bleeds for you.

But as your accountant,
it'’s my ulcer that's bleeding.

Ah, geez,
now they got the limos.

And look at
all the photographers.

Get your coat.

-What?
-Get your coat.

Hello, beautiful ladies.
What'’s going on?

Private party.

I'’m not trying to crash
your soiree.

We'’re just wondering
about the place.

I mean, a few weeks ago, nada.
And now...

What happened?

I guess you don'’t read
Glow Manhattan.

Not really.

So, do you live under a rock?
Or is it called New Jersey now?

Morgan!

She'’s funny.
That was a good one.

It'’s our magazine.

The last word on culture,

art, the New York scene.

What ever happened to
The New Yorker, Vanity Fair?

-[chuckles]
-Will you excuse us, please?

Glow Manhattangave
this restaurant a great review,

and a review from us
can make or break a restaurant.

Okay, so who do we call?

I mean, let'’s say
we had a restaurant

and we wanted a review.

-Who do we talk to?
-Do you have a publicist?

Okay, come on.
We'’re wasting our time.

Thank you.

You did good.

[Morgan] How are you?

Hey. Here'’s the number
to the magazine.

Malcolm Bristol'’s
the new food critic.

Give him a call,
maybe he can help you out.

Thanks.

Bye.

Malcolm Bristol.
That'’s really sweet.

Yeah, the important thing
is sincerity, Kwame.

If you'’re really sorry
and apologize from the heart,

she'’ll forgive you.

Thanks for the advice, Lee.

Keep the change, sweetie,
and good luck.

[Kwame] Enjoy your visit
with your daughter.

Bye.

[buzzing]

[buzzing]

[woman] Sí, ¿quién es?

Hola. ¿Señora Gonzalez?

[Mrs. Gonzalez] Sí.

Estoy la madre
de JJ Jenner.

[laughing]

Oh, come on, Señora.

I knew she'’d never make it
with Ben.

A woman like that needs
a hot-blooded hombre,

like Marc Anthony.

[Mrs. Gonzalez] Whew!

Am I right or am I right?

Oh, that'’s for sure, Mrs. Lee.

Muchas gracias, Señora.

Oh, de nada, Señora, de nada.

-Hasta luego.
-Hasta luego.

[record scratching]

Enjoying the party?

Why does this keep happening
to me?

I'’m intelligent,
I am a good person.

Maybe it'’s the holidays.

Things never go right
this time of year.

I hate to say it, but you'’re
kind of a jerk magnet.

I think you'’re just great.
You'’re cute, you're brainy,

you'’ve got just the right amount
of New York neurosis.

And a real talent for picking
out the wrong guy every time.

Excuse me.

Actually, I would love
to have your job one day.

Really? Well, perhaps
I could mentor you.

That'’d be great.

Remember, though,
it'’s a tough road.

How so?

Well, good food
is like great sex.

Once you'’ve had it,
you'’re always looking for it.

-Oh!
-[laughs]

Hey, who'’s that guy?

Malcolm Bristol, my new boss.

One month out of rehab
and he'’s already off the wagon,

and he'’s been accused
of sexual harassment again.

You'’re gonna have
your hands full.

But you didn'’t hear it from me.

Okay, and who'’s that?

Our gossip columnist.
She writes page five.

Absolutely the most
connected human on the planet.

You too.
Merry Christmas.

-Ah, here we go.
-What do you think it is?

I don'’t know,
some mushroom thing.

Mmm, portobello.

With chèvre, chervil,
and just a touch of walnut oil.

Well, okay then.
[chuckles]

Can she always do that?

Every time.

Pig!

Hey, what'’s going on?
Are you okay?

Well, no good meal'’s complete
without a little dessert,

am I right, Clay?

Guys, thanks a lot.
It'’s been a great year.

Appreciate it.

I just fired Malcolm Bristol.

What? Why?

We wouldn'’t be able to afford
the lawsuits.

-But everybody loves him.
-Except my girlfriend.

I'’m sorry, darling, I'm sorry.

What do we do now?
We need a food critic by Monday.

That'’s why you should only
eat oysters in months

that end with the letter R.

[Elliot] How about her?

She'’s a baby.

The kid'’s a walking
food encyclopedia.

She'’s been rewriting Sondra
for a year and a half.

BA, Sarah Lawrence.
Masters from Columbia.

Can she handle the pressure?

My guess is yes.

Okay, let'’s do it.

But we put her on trial,
see how she does.

One edition only.

Oh, meanwhile,

start looking for a replacement
in case she tanks.

Ladies and gents, can I have
your attention, please?

Hello, everybody, and welcome
to the tenth annual

Christmas party
for Glow Manhattanmagazine.

[cheers and applause]

Who'’d have thought
we'’d make it this far?

Er, I'’d like to say
a special thank you to Clay,

-our fearless leader.
-Oh!

Cheers.

[Elliot] A couple of things.

Today was
our beloved food critic

Sondra Sumner'’s last day.

I'’ve just had a call to say

she'’s delivered
two healthy babies

and they'’re already
eating caviar.

[laughing]

And in a blaze of
executive decision-making,

I take great pleasure
to announce her successor.

Ladies and gentlemen,
our new food critic

is none other
than our very own

JJ Jenner.

-[crowd gasping, murmuring]
-What?!

No way.

Come on, JJ, take a bow.
You deserve it.

-[Cody] Go, go.
-What about Malcolm Bristol?

[Cody] Who cares?
Get up there.

-[glass shatters]
-JJ, whoo!

Take a bow.

Thank you.

All we'’re promising
is one edition,

and you'’ve got to prove to us
this is the right choice.

None of us will think
any less of you if next month

you'’re sitting back
at your old desk again, okay?

Fair enough.
Thank you.

-Congratulations.
-Hey, Morgan, thank you.

So, did you have any idea?

-No! Did you?
-No, no.

Have fun, guys.

Oh, Dmitri, what are you
doing up so late?

When I don'’t get rent,
I don'’t sleep.

I know, I'’m late.

Look, if you can be
a little patient...

Time for patience is over.
I want my money.

You know how it is
when you start a business.

Spend more
than you take in.

You don'’t pay, you get out.

Whoa, hey, look, Dmitri.
Don'’t do this.

This is prime real estate,
Alex.

I have many people
who wish to rent from me.

Okay, just give me
till the end of the month.

Just give me a little time.

This restaurant'’s my dream.

All right, I give you
until Christmas.

-That'’s less than three weeks.
-Plus 25% interest.

-Wha...
-Take it or leave it.

[door opens, closes]

Oh, JJ?

No, I'’m Miles.
Who are you?

Hello, Miles. I'’m Lee.
I'’m visiting JJ for a bit.

Oh, wait a minute.
This Miles?

Aren'’t you supposed to be
at some party with her?

Oh, yeah,
but I had a crazy night.

I got stuck in the ER.

She understands.
She knows the drill.

Really? So you stand her up
on a regular basis?

I'’m a doctor.
I have priorities.

And clearly,
JJ'’s not one of them.

-Mom?
-Honey! Surprise!

This is your mother?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing
with a guy like this?

He has absolutely
no respect for you.

-What?!
-Not only did he stand you up,

I bet he'’s screwing around
with some candy striper.

-That is not true.
-Maybe you can

pull the wool over
my daughter'’s eyes,

but I'’ve been around
the block a few times.

I know a player
when I see one.

That'’s it.
I'’m outta here.

Miles, wait.
Don'’t listen to her.

Fine, I am seeing someone else.
I was gonna tell you tonight.

I knew it!

I just didn'’t figure on
an audience.

It'’s just not working out, JJ.

What did I tell you?

He was my first boyfriend
in two years.

I liked him, Mother.
You have no right.

Forget it.

So, how long you staying?

Well, I'’m...
I'’m really not sure.

The ship'’s undergoing repairs.
Probably a few weeks.

Weeks?
Why didn'’t you call first?

Every time I wanna spend
Christmas with you,

you'’re too busy.

This year we'’ll have

a real old-fashioned Christmas,
like we used to.

That'’s funny,
coming from you.

I thought we'’d go shopping,
see a couple shows.

Remember how we loved to see
the Rockettes every December?

Hey, do you belong
to a gym?

Why can'’t you stay
at the house?

Well, it'’s rented
to Dotty.

-Where'’s Fernando?
-Don'’t mention that name.

What about Aunt Suzie?

Can'’t a mother visit
her daughter?

It'’s been a year
and a half, Mom.

So?

So, it'’s just this isn't really
the best time for a visit.

-I just got a promotion.
-You did?

That'’s wonderful.
We have to go celebrate.

I have to work, Mom.
I have deadlines.

This is
a really big opportunity.

Oh, sweetie, I'’m just
so happy to see you.

Mm. Don'’t worry about me, huh?

I can take care of myself.
You'’ll hardly know I'm here.

It just feels so good
to be with you.

But we have to do something
about your hair, huh?

[Cody] She actually said that
to his face?

Ha!

A mother breaks up with
her daughter'’s boyfriend.

That'’s not even
in the Bible.

No, it'’s Dante's Inferno.

[chuckles]

Okay, I love Christmas,
all the freebies.

Oh, my gosh, Armagnac
with pear and cream.

Can you believe
this is my office?

[laughs]

It still doesn'’t seem real.

You totally deserve it.
You worked your butt off.

So, uh, she sounds like
such a character, your mom.

But, you know,
I always pictured you

with more of a bookish,
PhD type.

Yeah, rumor has it
I was switched at birth.

[chuckles]

What about your dad?
What was he like?

Mm, he was my best friend.

[knocking]

Brasiliero called to see
if you'’ll make their opening.

It didn'’t ring through.

All your calls are being
routed to my line.

You'’re my assistant?

[clicks tongue] Yep.

So, you all settled in?

Yeah.

Uh, I think so.
Pretty much.

Good.

Do you have Sumner'’s list?

Um, yes, right here.

[Elliot] I'’d suggest you use it.

She picked those restaurants,
so we know they'’re the best,

but I want you
to find your own voice.

I'’ll expect it
two weeks from today.

[JJ] Okay.

Don'’t let me down.

How long I been using
this bank, huh?

They can'’t trust me
with a 60-day loan?

You don'’t have
enough collateral.

They need proof
you can pay '’em back.

Can'’t pay 'em back if I can'’t
keep my restaurant open.

You want me to call a guy
in Staten Island?

I'’m just asking.
How much is your truck worth?

Not enough.

How about Nico and Sylvia?
They got a little money.

They just bought a house.

You still got that number?

First decent idea you'’ve had.

[laughing]

You know, speaking of tacky,
have you heard the new

reggae version of
"Good King Wenceslas"?

No, is it horrible?

♪ Good King Wenceslas
looked out, mon♪

♪ On the feast of Stephen, mon♪

♪ When the snow lay
on the ground, mon♪

♪ Deep and crisp and even, mon♪

Hey!

[Lee] JJ! Hi, honey.

What are you doing here?

You work in a great place.
Everybody'’s so friendly.

Hi, I'’m Lee, Janis's mother.

-Janis?
-Mom, don'’t.

Janis Joplin Jenner.
Don'’t you love it?

Oh!

I know she OD'’d,
and some people say

she may not have been
the best role model,

but she was a force
larger than life,

and if you can'’t give your kid
that kind of namesake

for inspiration,
what kind of parent are you?

Absolutely.

-We were just on our way out.
-To lunch.

Great. I'’m famished.

It'’s business.
I'’ll see you later.

Oh, why don'’t you join us?

Oh, fabulous.
Where are we going?

-I don'’t think so.
-To Cellar.

Just the most famous
French restaurant in the city.

Wow!

You'’re not dressed.
She'’s not dressed.

-Wait a minute.
-[JJ] What?

Voilà.
You'’re good to go.

[chuckles]

Ha!

Bye, mon.

-Hemingway for three?
-Yes, thank you.

Hemingway?
This is JJ Jenner,

the food critic for
Glow Manhattanmagazine.

Ms. Jenner, what a pleasure
to have you here today.

Thank you.

This way, please.

What did I do?

You totally blew my cover.

They'’re not supposed to know
who she is.

Sondra wore hats, wigs,
all kinds of disguises.

Craig Hanover
dressed as a woman.

A critic
is supposed to be incognito.

I didn'’t know.

Should we leave?

No, it'’s okay.
It'’s my first day.

Great, because I absolutely love
this place.

-[chuckles]
-The wine list, madam.

Thank you, and we'’ll have
a large flat water

for the table, please.

A water for her.
Champagne for me.

A bottle of Dom,
s'’il vous plait.

Mom, that'’s $250 a bottle.

But we'’re celebrating
your promotion.

Don'’t you have
an expense account?

Yes, but...

[Lee] Well,
then don'’t worry about it.

Le champagne, monsieur,
merci beaucoup.

So, Morgan,
do you have a boyfriend?

Mom. That is really
none of your business.

I actually don'’t
at the moment.

I don'’t understand you girls.
Romance is the spice of life.

Without a man,
you miss out on so much fun.

Not necessarily.

Oh, come on, the flirtation,
the seduction.

The way he looks at you
when you'’re all dressed up.

If it'’s the right dress,
of course.

Le champagne, madame.

[Lee] Ah, oui, tres bien.

I was told
to talk to Malcolm Bristol.

Now you tell me
there is no Malcolm Bristol.

I'’ve called 10 times, and I'm
just getting the runaround.

Who I gotta talk to
about a review?

Ah, there'’s Ms. Jenner,
our new food critic.

Thank you. Excuse me. Hey!
It'’s you from the other night.

Hey, look,
you gave me this, remember?

Oh, hi, how are you?

You'’re the food critic?
I thought...

It'’s a long story,
I know.

Great, you can review
my restaurant.

Alex Stermadapolous.

-JJ Jenner, but...
-So when can you come by, JJ?

I'’m free any day this week,
you know.

-Breakfast, lunch, dinner?
-I can'’t do that.

They gave me
a list of restaurants.

I have to stick to it.
It'’s my first assignment.

-Has to be by the book.
-Come on.

JJ, they'’re waiting
in the conference room.

Thanks, Rey.
Look, you seem like a nice guy,

and I wish I could help you out,
but I can'’t.

I'’m sorry. Bye.

Lee Bellmont.

Hi. Where'’s Larry?

Retired.
I'’m his son.

-Really?
-Mm.

Your father represented me
for a quite a while.

Yeah, on and off
for about 30 years.

So, they fired you?

Ah, well, they have this
stupid rule for dancers.

Forced retirement at 45.
It'’s so ridiculous.

Good for you. You squeezed
a couple years out of them.

Yeah, well, so I'’m back in town.

I sing, I dance,
I'’m in great shape,

and I have
plenty of energy.

-[phone rings]
-Well, I'’ll keep you in mind.

Uh-huh, great.

You know, trade shows,
backup singing, voice-overs.

-Wanna hear something?
-No, that'’s not necessary.

Listen, Lee, thank you so much
for coming in.

-It'’s been a pleasure.
-Kenny, I really need a job.

I'’ve been staying
with my daughter,

but, um, I'’m broke.

Check back next week, okay?

Come on in, Jenna.

["Jingle Bells" playing]

[music switches off]

["Deck the Halls" playing]

♪ Fa, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la♪

I am officially declaring
this a holiday-free zone.

Oh, come on. How can you resist?
Look at adorable little Rudi.

I'’ve been thinking about
what to get you for Christmas.

No. No presents.
I don'’t want anything.

What have you been doing
with all my clothes?

This is my Marc Jacobs.

I'’ve been cleaning out
your closet.

Black, black, and more black.
Haven'’t you got anything else?

Yeah, I'’ve got blue and brown.

It'’s such a cliché, all you
girls and your dark colors.

What are you hiding from?

I'’m not hiding.
It'’s professional.

It'’s Victorian.
You have a gorgeous body.

Look at those breasts,
and your little butt'’s adorable.

-Get your hands off me.
-Let'’s go shopping.

We'’ll get you
a whole new wardrobe.

I like my clothes.

We'’ll get your hair cut,
your brows shaped, a facial.

A girl your age
should have better pores.

-Stop it.
-What?

All you do
is criticize.

Honey, I'’m just
trying to help.

-No, you'’re just being mean.
-Mean?!

I just want you to be the most
beautiful, self-confident...

By what, ripping me to shreds?
You know what?

I don'’t want to hear it.
I have to get dressed.

Am I invited?

You don'’t even know
where I'’m going.

Doesn'’t matter.
I'’ll be with you.

Fine, I'’ll just stay home
by myself. With Rudi.

♪ Round yon virgin,
mother and child♪

[JJ] Guilt trip'’s
not working, Mom.

I'’m not one to go
where I'’m not wanted.

Oh, give me a break.

♪ Holy infant,
so tender and mild♪

It'’s not gonna happen.

-[Lee] ♪ Sleep in heavenly♪
-No.

-[Lee] ♪ Peace♪
-Never! Nyet!

Ooh, freebies.

Mom, this is work, remember?
You'’re on parole now.

Gonna fit me with those trendy
house arrest ankle straps?

-I mean it.
-Okay, okay. Hmm.

Excuse me.

[JJ] Hey!

-Oh, hey.
-Hi, guys.

-How you doing?
-Great, good.

-Ready for some sush-ay!
-Oh, dear.

Mmm.

I have no idea where she went.
I guess we should order.

Hey, what are you guys doing
for Christmas?

Uh, JJ doesn'’t celebrate
Christmas.

How can you not celebrate
Christmas?

The eggnog, the tree,
the smell of spruce in the air.

-The mistletoe?
-Oh, please! You'’re Jewish.

You'’ve seen too many movies.
Christmas is nothing

but high expectation
and big disappointment.

Oh, hello.

Oh, err, what...
what is all this?

Omakase. Chef'’s choice.
The freshest, the best.

Kids, say hello to Yoshi,
the genius behind the knife.

[Cody] Hi.

You must be Peter and Cody.
I'’ve heard so much about you.

JJ, say hello to Yoshi.

Hello, Yoshi.

Hi.

[speaking Japanese]

[laughing]

So, Peter, JJ didn'’t tell me
you were so cute.

You'’re a lucky woman, Cody.

[Peter] That'’s what
I keep telling her.

-Shall we?
-Yes.

Mmm. Ahh.

-Mmm.
-Very good.

Do I know my sushi or what?

Oh, that is so fresh, I think
it'’s gonna jump up and bite me.

[both laughing]

Try this.

Oh. Ohh.

-More?
-Mm-hmm.

Come on, girls,
partake of this sumptuous feast.

[Peter] Here,
can I give you one?

-Try this?
-Mmm.

[Peter] What do you think?

-[Lee] My favorite.
-[Peter] That'’s good.

Wow, that was fun.

Chelsea, and fast.

Got something to do.
I'’ll see ya later.

Okay.

I can'’t take it anymore.

It happens
every time she shows up.

My self-image,
my self-confidence,

it all just flies out
the window.

And you were no help either,
thank you very much.

What did I do?

I am invisible.
Everything is about her.

She sucks the air
out of the room.

Thought she was fun.

When I was a freshman
in college and my dad died,

she totally bailed on me.

I was crying my eyes out,

and she got a job
dancing on cruise ships.

-I barely heard from her.
-Whoa.

That first Christmas,
we were supposed to be together.

She never showed up,
never even called.

And since then?

Well, I see her once in a while.

Sometimes she calls and pretends
to care how I'’m doing.

We have not spent any real time
together in eight years.

And now she shows up and
expects us to be best friends?

Well, have you tried
talking to her?

What'’s the point?

I mean, this is such
a crucial time for me right now,

and all I keep hearing is,

"Why don'’t you wear
some lip liner?

Wax your eyebrows.
Get a push-up bra."

Well, the bra idea'’s
not that bad.

Listen, you'’ve got two weeks
to write this thing.

You just have to figure out
how to get her out of your hair.

What'’s she into?

Men, men, and more men.
Take your pick.

Okay, easy, there'’s gotta be
plenty of guys out there

who would go out with Lee.

Yeah, that'’s for sure.

Ohh, don'’t you just love
cold cereal?

Ah, thank you.

[Lee] ♪ On the ninth day
of Christmas♪

♪ My true love gave to me♪

♪ Nine ladies dancing,
eight maids a-milking♪

♪ Seven swans a-swimming,
six geese a-laying♪

♪ Five gold rings♪

♪ Four calling birds,
three French hens♪

♪ Two turtle doves,
a partridge in a pear tree♪

♪ On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me♪

♪ Ten lords a-leaping,
nine ladies dancing♪

♪ Eight maids a-milking,
seven swans a-swimming♪

♪ Six geese a-laying♪
[inhales deeply]

♪ Five gold rings♪

♪ Four calling birds,
three French hens♪

♪ Two turtle doves♪

-♪ Partridge in a pear tree♪
-[knock on door]

♪ The eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me♪

[singing continues in distance]

What?

-I won'’t take no for an answer.
-How did you find me?

You'’re in the phone book.

You'’re something else.

You won'’t come
to the restaurant,

so the restaurant
comes to you.

One bite, one paragraph,
that'’s all I ask.

I told you, I can'’t. I'm under
a lot of pressure here.

I really need this review,
all right?

I'’ll do anything,
anything you want.

Free lunch, free catering.

I'’ll wash your dishes, I'll wash
your windows. Just name it.

[Lee] ♪ Six geese a-laying,
five golden rings♪

I'’ll make you a deal.

I'’ll find some time to come
to your restaurant.

I don'’t promise a review,
but I promise I'’ll come.

-On one condition.
-Name it.

You'’ve got to keep
my mother busy.

Take her out
for the next two weeks.

-What?
-I have a deadline,

and I can'’t get anything done
with her in the house.

I need someone
to keep her occupied.

This is a joke, right?

Those are my terms.
Take it or leave it.

That'’s ridiculous.
Okay?

Besides, I'’m busy.
I got a restaurant to run.

Okay. Well, sorry, good luck.

Okay, wait.

Okay, I'’ll do it.
But I'’m not happy about it.

Here'’s the thing. She cannot
know I put you up to this.

You gotta meet her on your own
and ask her out.

How am I supposed
to do that?

Meet me tomorrow
at Shakespeare'’s,

in the cooking section,
at 4:00.

You really want me
to ask your mother out?

Yeah. And don'’t be late.

[Lee] ♪ Seven swans a-swimming,
six geese a-laying♪

♪ Five gold rings♪

♪ Four calling birds,
three French hens♪

♪ Two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree♪

So, you go get your magazines,
I will pick up my books,

and I will see you back here
in 15 minutes.

Check. Oh, here we are.

-Hi.
-Hi.

M.F.K. Fisher,
The Art of Eating.

Yeah, she should have called it
The Art of Living,huh?

So passionate, right?
I love her motto.

[both] Love, food, security.

Straightforward,
but sensuous.

That'’s what's so great
about her.

Yeah.

So...

So, right.
I guess this is it.

Where is she?

There.

So, what, like...
high tea and an art museum?

No, no.
No, Alex, not her.

Her.

More like a Long Island iced tea
and the Hard Rock Cafe.

-That'’s your mother?
-Yeah.

Just start talking to her.

She doesn'’t need
a lot of encouragement.

How old is she?

You'’ll have to ask her that.

Okay, uh...
Okay.

So, I guess I'’ll see you
when you come by the restaurant.

As soon as I get the chance.

Thank you.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Prince Charles and Camilla.
35 years.

It'’s about time he made
an honest woman of her.

[Alex] What'’s her secret,
do you think?

Well, it'’s certainly
not her beauty. [laughs]

She must have
a fabulous personality,

or else she'’s read
a lot of racy French novels.

[both laugh]

Jen, hey, you free tonight?

I'’ve got reservations...

Oh. Okay, cool.

Yeah, sure.
Next time.

Annie. JJ.
Call me when you get in.

How awful to eat alone.
You want us to join you?

Oh, no. No, no.

Is that a tattoo?

Yeah. Isn'’t it cool?

There'’s nothing wrong with

being in touch with
your sexuality, JJ.

You ought to know.

-What'’s that supposed to mean?
-What'’s what supposed to mean?

[door buzzer buzzing]

Hello.

It'’s Alex. You ready?

Yeah, come on up.

You know, maybe if you made
a little effort,

you could meet someone
as nice as this guy Alex,

instead of
that egotistical Miles.

You didn'’t make any effort.
You met him by accident.

Honey, there are no accidents,
you know?

You have to make things happen,

not wait for them
to happen to you.

Ah, thank you, Confucius.

Maybe you wanna go out with him.
He'’s a little young for me.

Forget it, that'’s the last thing
I need right now.

-[knock on door]
-Okay.

-Hey, handsome.
-Hi.

JJ, come and meet this gorgeous
guy I met in the bookstore.

Come on in.

Alex, this is
my daughter JJ,

the brilliant writer
I told you about.

Oh, so now I'’m brilliant?

-Nice to meet you.
-Hello.

A little phyllo with
almond custard I made.

Thought you might like it.

Oh, you are so amazing.

Put this in the fridge for me,
hon, will you please?

-Sure.
-See you later.

Bye.

Unreal.

I'’ll have the Moroccan mint tea
and the appetizer sampler.

That serves eight, madam.

Yes, that'’s fine.

And the lamb feast,
the chicken Marrakesh,

the couscous royale,
and the couscous Casablanca.

Oh, and some saffron rice.

You have an excellent appetite.

Mm. Thank you.

Fifty bucks.

All the Greek food you can eat.
How about that?

[laughing] Okay.

Pat Benatar,
"Shadows of the Night."

[cheers and applause]

♪ I said you can'’t hide
on the inside♪

♪ All the pain
you'’ve ever felt♪

♪ Ransom my heart,
but, baby, don'’t look back♪

♪ '’Cause we got nobody else♪

♪ We'’re running with
the shadows of the night♪

♪ So, baby, take my hand♪

-♪ We'’ll be all right♪
-[phone ringing]

♪ Surrender all your dreams
to me tonight♪

♪ They'’ll come true
in the end♪

What happened?

Wow. Thank you.

Enjoy.

[man] But it'’s a bachelor party.
We made reservations weeks ago.

I am sorry, sir, but I have
no record of your party.

[man] This is unbelievable.
What are we supposed to do?

It'’s Saturday night.
Every place is booked.

I want to talk
to the manager.

[manager] I am the manager.

[man] Listen,
this is a night...

This is a very important dinner.

And we made the reservation
weeks ago.

Can you make this work, please?

[manager] Gentlemen, listen,
I am very sorry,

but I have nothing
before 11:00.

Excuse me.
I know this is kinda weird,

but you can all join me
if you'’d like.

Huh?

I'’ve got this huge table,
and all my friends got stuck.

Really?

You'’d be doing me a favor.
I hate to eat alone.

And don'’t worry about the check.
It'’d be on me.

Wow.

What do we think?

Let'’s do it.

Great.

So, uh, who'’s getting married?

We are.

Great.

-♪ Words you deny♪
-What do you mean? What?

♪ That love
ain'’t meant to last♪

♪ You can cry, tough baby,
it'’s all right♪

♪ You can let me down easy,
but not tonight♪

Yeah. Any covers will do.

♪ We'’re running with the shadows
of the night♪

♪ So, baby, take my hand,
we'’ll be all right♪

All right. I'’ll be there
first thing in the morning.

Yeah, meet me there.
6:00 a.m.

♪ They'’ll come true in the end♪

[applause]

[Alex] All right.

All right, yeah, 6:00.
Okay. I gotta go.

No, I really, I gotta go.
Bye.

That was amazing.

Maybe we should call it a night.

What? Why?

Well, you'’re preoccupied.
I understand.

No, Lee, I had a little problem
at the restaurant.

-Everything'’s fine now.
-Alex, it'’s okay.

We can try it again
another night.

Don'’t say that.

Look, Lee, I'’m having
a terrific time tonight.

I really wanna see you again.

You do?

Yeah, absolutely.
As soon as possible.

[up-tempo music playing]

Go, JJ, go!

Hear! Hear!
To our new friend JJ.

May she have a long,
successful career,

and may she always need
her friends

to help her taste
everything on the menu.

-Oh, hear! Hear!
-Cheers.

And next time, may some
of the guys be straight.

Ahh! [laughs]

Hey, guys.

Ah, hello there.

So, did you get your work done?

Oh, yes. Yes.
Some very delicious work.

Ah, lamb tagine.

Apricots, cinnamon,

and just a teeny-weeny pinch
of cumin.

Looks like you had a teeny-weeny
something to drink too.

Oh, not a lot. Just, you
know, three or four bottles.

[laughing] I'’m kidding.
I'’m kidding.

Oh, did you have fun
with my mom?

Of course you did.
Everyone has fun with my mom.

She'’s, you know,
the funnest person in town.

-And you'’re not?
-No. I'’m the serious one.

And she'’s the fun one.
And never the twain shall meet.

-[gasps]
-Whoa.

-[laughs]
-You okay?

Yeah.

I gotta go.
Good night.

Sweet dreams.

[Cody] You traded your mother
for a review?

I never promised a review.
I said I would stop by.

I don'’t even know
if he can boil water.

Okay, that justifies it.

Well, no, but he was desperate.
I was desperate.

She'’s always desperate.
It was the obvious solution.

Yeah, obviously weird.

She'’s a party girl, Cody.

When there'’s a man in her life,
she forgets I exist.

What'’s this guy like?

Um...

Focused, tenacious.

Dark hair, dark eyes.

Space between his teeth.

-What?
-Oh, nothing.

[Lee] Nothing at all?

Okay, Kenny.

Yeah, well,
I'’ll call you next week.

I assume you'’re both Mac
and PC proficient.

Not really,
but I am a quick study.

Mm. What about the Internet?

Oh, of course. I just bought
a book on amazon.com.

Ms. Bellmont, do you have
any secretarial skills at all?

Well, I'’m great on the phone
and I make terrific coffee.

[Lee] First position.

Second position.

Third position.

That'’s fourth position.

-[Lee] Oh, is it?
-Yeah.

Third position.

That'’s fifth position.

Well, you know,
who cares, anyway?

Wouldn'’t y'all rather
be doing hip-hop?

[laughing]

Yeah. It'’s time for us
to loosen up our booties, huh?

♪ Five days, five nights,
and then roll♪

Left, right.

Okay, girls,
shake that thang out.

[music switches off]

Here, and...

You sure
you'’ve done this before?

-Oh, yeah. No problem.
-Okay.

[dishes shattering]

[Lee] Ha! I'’m okay.

Three hours?
Are you kidding me?

Maybe four. We should be out
of here by dinnertime.

-Great. Thanks.
-[man] I got it!

Again, I-I can'’t tell you
how sorry I am.

It really is
beyond my control.

But I'’d love
to make it up to you.

How about...

Okay. Okay.

-Hi.
-Hi.

H-Hi.
Uh, you'’re here.

Yeah. What'’s the matter?

Uh...

They shut off my gas
and electricity. I can'’t cook.

But we'’re gonna have power
in a few hours.

So, dinner tonight would...

Tonight'’s no good.
Um, let me see.

I'’m sorry, I'm booked solid
for the next two weeks.

What? No, JJ, we have a deal.

How about here?
Or, look, right there.

Uh...

All right, maybe I can switch
a couple things around.

-Thanks.
-Yeah.

I'’m sorry
you wasted your time.

It'’s okay.

Uncle Alex!

Joe! Hey!

-Hey, baby. Mwah!
-Hey.

Hey, sis, how you doing?
How you doing?

-Good.
-Long time. Where'’s Johnny?

Outside getting the tree.

Hey, guys.
Help my brother-in-law.

It'’s been too long,
you lousy bum.

I almost forgot
what you look like.

How about you, huh?
You excited about Santa Claus?

-Yeah.
-Yeah?

You send your letter
down under?

No, Santa lives
at the North Pole.

That'’s it, that's it,
I'’ve had it with you!

[shouting, laughing]

Hi. I remember you.

Oh, sorry. Sophia, Johnny,
this is JJ Jenner.

She works for Glowmagazine.

And this guy right here,
this is Joe!

So, you'’re gonna write
about Alex?

Um...

Well, maybe.

All right, that'’s great.
When'’s it coming out?

We gotta celebrate.

You know, I actually
have to get going.

What do you mean?
We just got here.

I have two lunch appointments
and a lot of work

waiting back at the office.

Three lunches a day.
That sounds like a great job.

I'’d be so afraid
of getting fat.

Oh, you don'’t have to eat much.
If it'’s good, just a few bites.

Who could stop
at a few bites?

[laughs] Anyway,
it'’s nice to have met you.

-Ohh!
-Aw, darn.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Aleko, you are the man.

I'’m the man. Whoo!

Clay'’s exploits are who's-who
of every beauty in the world.

Why shouldn'’t we run with it?
It sells huge every time.

Because he doesn'’t want us to.

Clay'’s getting sensitive
about his love life.

[Irma] Maybe what Clay needs
is an older woman.

-Sorry!
-You'’re late, Janis Joplin.

I'’m gonna kill Morgan.
Thank you.

How'’s it going?

Great. Everything'’s going great.

So, by the end of the week,
right?

Definitely.
Absolutely, no problem.

Elliot, sorry to interrupt.

I'’ve got a delivery
that I can'’t get rid of.

Which one of you is JJ Jenner?

I told the guy I'’d deliver
these to you personally.

Thank you.

[man] Ohh!

So, who'’s it from, Janis?
Jimi Hendrix?

Maybe it'’s JJ's love life
I should be following.

Nothing, huh?

Yeah, okay, I'’ll try back
in about two months.

Wow, where'’d you get those?

Somebody sent them to me.

Ooh, an admirer.
Anybody I know?

Well, he'’s obviously
very romantic.

Lilies and roses, ooh.
This one'’s got potential.

Maybe we can double date
some time, me and Alex,

you and your mystery man.

You know, this Alex
is a real gentleman.

That'’s rare these days.

Mom, shh.

I just feel lucky.

He'’s a real sweetie,
and we'’re having fun.

Now, where'’s that invitation?

What are you doing?

Oh, I RSVPed for this opening.

That'’s my invitation.

[Lee] Yeah, but you weren'’t
gonna go, so I used your name.

-You used my name?
-Well, I had to.

-It'’s invitation only.
-You can'’t do that.

When they invite me,
they expect me to be there.

I can'’t believe you.
Now I have to show up.

How could you do this?
I am so behind.

Well, I just wanted to have
a little fun.

Do you ever have fun, Jan?
Do you even remember how?

Do you wanna borrow
something of mine?

No.

You want help
with your makeup?

No.

[door buzzer buzzing]

Just go downstairs
and wait for me, okay?

-Hey.
-It'’s Alex.

Be right down. Guess what.
JJ'’s coming with us.

Would it hurt you to wear
some color for a change?

We'’re not going to a funeral.

[JJ] Mom!

Whoa.

Oh, there you are.

Taxi!

[tires screech]

-Sorry to keep you waiting.
-You look great.

I was telling Alex you got
flowers from a secret admirer.

Let Alex sit in the middle.

-Thank you for the flowers.
-No problem.

This is gonna be fun.
I love Brazilians.

They'’re so flamboyant
and uninhibited.

And their music.
Alex, do you salsa?

No.

We have to change that.
That'’s my specialty.

I just picked up
a great M.F.K. Fisher.

-Oh, yeah?
-How To Cook A Wolf.

-Read it?
-Not yet, but I want to.

It'’s just a question of attitude
with Latin dancing.

-Oh, yeah?
-And the eye contact.

It'’s very important to make
a deep visual connection.

It'’s all about the food
shortages during World War II.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'’m cold back here.
Honey, are you cold?

-No.
-You want my jacket?

Oh, thank you.
That'’s so kind of you.

-What a guy.
-All right.

[salsa plays]

Thanks for bringing me here.

They'’re playing my song.

-Whoo!
-Ha-ha-ha!

-Wow.
-She loves to dance.

Hey, hey!

-No.
-Aw, dance with your mom.

No, no, no.
That'’s her thing.

Go dance.

I'’m coming for you now, Alex.

She'’s after me.
All right.

[laughing]

All right, I'’m coming.

[laughing]

Oh, thank you.

[laughing]

[sultry music plays]

When I left, she was practically
rubbing herself all over him.

-It was disgusting.
-And what was he doing?

It'’s really sad, the way so many
guys fall for that stuff.

Thought he was different, but...
And you know what'’s even sadder?

Is how she can'’t just grow up
and act her age.

She'’s so pathetic.

And you are so jealous.

[JJ] What?! No, I'’m not.

-You like this guy.
-No, I don'’t.

[Cody] You like this guy a lot.

And it'’s killing you that
you set him up with your mother.

Okay.

So, now what do I do?

Hey.

Hi.

Should I be nervous?

I don'’t know. Should I?

[both chuckle]

So, everybody sits together?

Yeah, I like
family-style seating.

I think it makes everybody
feel connected, comfortable.

Nice.

Yeah, I got some excellent
specials I want you to try.

No, no. No special treatment.
Just let me do my job.

Yes, ma'’am.

Oh, hold on.

Try this.

-We give this to everybody.
-Okay.

Mmm.

Fire-roasted eggplant
with ricotta, not feta.

Nice surprise. Mmm.

Peppers.

Dutch.
[chuckles]

Garlic, nutmeg, and...

And?

Cardamom?

That'’s amazing.

No, this is amazing.
Where'’d you learn to cook?

From my grandma.

And every day after school,
my dad'’s diner.

Two years of CIA.

You went to
the Culinary Institute?

How about some flatbread, huh?
Semolina flour from Crete.

Hand-churned butter
made from goat'’s milk.

Definitely.

♪ I wanna tell you now♪

♪ It'’s the way I feel
when I'’m with you♪

♪ I'’m higher than I ever knew♪

♪ Just say it'’s me
that you adore♪

♪ Well, I ask for this
and nothing more♪

♪ It'’s the way I feel
when I'’m with you♪

♪ When I'’m with you♪

♪ Your presence
steals away the time♪

♪ And I realize
what I'’ve been missing♪

Open.

♪ It'’s the way I feel
when I'’m with you♪

♪ Higher than I ever knew♪

♪ Just say it'’s me
that you adore♪

♪ Well, I ask for this
and nothing more♪

♪ It'’s the way I feel
when I'’m with you♪

♪ Higher than I ever knew♪

♪ Just say it'’s me
that you adore♪

♪ Well, I ask for this
and nothing more♪

So, what'’d you think?

Well, you definitely know
how to cook.

Thank you.

You know, you don'’t
have to bother

taking out my mother anymore.

It was a stupid idea
to begin with,

I never should'’ve asked.

I don'’t know
what I was thinking.

Well, we sorta made plans
for tonight.

Yeah, that'’s what I'm saying.
You don'’t have to go.

Yeah, no, I can'’t just cancel
on her, you know?

I mean, that wouldn'’t be right.

You know, she'’s amazing,
your mother.

She'’s never in a bad mood.

You just have to smile
when you'’re around Lee.

[chuckles]

Right. Yeah.

All right, I compiled
your suggestions

for next month'’s list,

emailed those press clippings
you wanted,

and replaced the ink cartridges
in your printer. Anything else?

Yeah, can you get me
some aspirin?

I'’ve got a really bad headache.

Your wish is my command.

Hey, what are you gonna do
with all these?

Take whatever you want.
Take '’em all.

-Really?
-Yeah.

Okay.

So, how'’s it coming?

What?
Uh, h-how'’s what coming?

Your column.

Oh. Great.

Great, yeah, it'’s great.
I'’m really pleased.

Good. What'’s the focus?

What'’s your big JJ Jenner
bust-out-of-the-box debut

signature piece
gonna be about?

[chuckles]
That'’s a surprise.

I'’m on the way
to the mother-in-law.

-Can I take one of these?
-Mm-hmm.

24 hours and counting.

-You okay?
-[groans]

What?

I have nothing. Nada.

Not one freaking thing.
I have notes. I have paragraphs.

But do I have a piece
that makes any sense?

Okay, calm down.
Think of all the great writers.

They'’re blocked for days,
they have nothing,

then suddenly,
in the middle of the night,

everything comes pouring out.

-He likes her.
-What?

Alex likes my mother. A lot.

-Here you go.
-Thank you.

You'’re welcome.

Who is it?

It'’s Lee Bellmont, Kenny.

Well, if it isn'’t Miss America.

Coco.
Coco, my God, how are you?

-[Coco] Get over here.
-[both laugh]

What the hell
are you doing back here?

I thought you were
set for life.

Oh. He died.

Oh, Lee, I'’m so sorry.

Yeah, about eight years ago.

So, Kenny,
did you find anything yet?

Oh, honey, this business
isn'’t what you remember.

Well, I really need to work.
Like, today.

Well, there'’s nothing
much out there for us.

This is my first gig
in three years.

Oh, come on.
That can'’t be true.

What about Vegas?
They always need dancers.

Come on, Lee.
Look in the mirror.

You'’d be the oldest showgirl
in history.

Let'’s get out of here. Come on.

What am I gonna do?

I can'’t find a job.
I'’ve tried everything.

Hey, you'’ve got your girl.

She thinks I'’m a loser.

Maybe I am.

Why don'’t you just tell her
what'’s going on?

If you tiptoe around her,
she'’s gonna feel that.

Be straight with her.

[Lee] Oh.

[sighs]

[beeping, static]

Hey, what'’s going on?

Oh, I was typing something.

I don'’t know what happened.
It just freaked out.

What do you mean?
Here, move over.

Where are my files?

Oh, I didn'’t touch your files,
I swear.

-I don'’t know what happened.
-All my drafts are gone.

What did you do?
What did you do?

I don'’t know. I'm sorry.

Leave me alone, okay?

I'’ve been having
a hard time lately.

I'’ve been wanting to talk
to you, but I didn'’t know how.

Ma, please, just go away!

I'’m screwed.
My deadline'’s tomorrow.

[laughing] Oh.

I'’m not very good company
tonight.

You wanna talk about it?

It'’s times like this that
I really miss JJ'’s father.

What happened to him?

He had an aneurysm.

Forty-two years old.

One day I had a husband,
the next day I didn'’t.

Was he in showbiz, like you?

[chuckles] Michael? No.

He was a high school
history teacher.

We met when he was
still in college.

I was in the chorus
of a show off-Broadway.

Typical backstage story.

JJ'’s just like him.

Really?

She inherited all
of his good qualities,

none of my rotten ones.

Lee...

His students loved him.

His daughter adored him.

[crying] And so did I.

Please take me home with you.

Whoa.

Thanks.

[JJ] Morning.

Oh, God, you scared me.
What are you doing up?

You must have been having fun.

Why did you come here, Mom?

Janis, please.

Right, let'’s just talk about
things that are fun and festive.

I'’m just gonna wash my face
and go to bed.

How do you do it, Mom?

You just roll in and roll over
everyone in your path?

What?

You invade me home,
you take over my friends,

and now you'’re sabotaging
my career.

Well, bravo,
mission accomplished.

Now, just a minute, sweetheart.
Don'’t blame me for everything

you don'’t like
about your own life.

Don'’t expect me to be
another of your adoring fans.

I'’m not part of your audience,
Mother.

I am your daughter.

Not that you really care.

Oh, wow.
You don'’t know me at all.

What'’s to know?

A total obsession
with how you look?

A pathetic interest
in the opposite sex?

I'’m just
the cheapest hotel in town.

Okay, I get the picture.
I'’m outta here.

Maybe I'’ll go to Alex's.
He seems to like me fine.

Let me tell you something
about your friend Alex.

It was a setup, Ma.

He just asked you out so that
I'’d go to his restaurant.

What?

He was begging me for a review,

and you were driving me crazy,
so...

Okay. I gotta
get out of here.

You know, I have
always loved you.

And you may not remember,
but you used to love me too.

Shame on you.

[knock on door]

[knocking continues]

Okay, okay, I'’m coming.

Hi.

Is my mother here?

Uh, what? No.

I dropped her off a while ago.

-Thanks.
-Wait, wait, what'’s going on?

-I'’m sorry to bother you.
-You'’re not bothering me.

The deal was to keep her busy,
Alex, not...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait.

Look, you'’re the one
who set your mother up

with a complete stranger.

I don'’t think you have
any right to come--

Okay, forget it.
Forget it.

It'’s none of my business.
I just...

This whole thing
has just gotten out of hand.

Yeah.

I said horrible things to her,
Alex, and then she left.

And now I need to find her.

Where do you think she went?

I don'’t know.
The ship, I guess.

Okay. All right.
I'’ll go with you.

-I don'’t need your help.
-Hey, listen to me, JJ.

Nothing happened
between us, okay?

Nothing.

She was upset.
She had too much to drink.

All she did
was talk about your dad.

Really?

Yeah. I don'’t think
she'’s ever gotten over him.

I am such an idiot.

♪ Now I know
exactly what you mean♪

She was fired two weeks ago.

-What?
-She never said a word.

She acted like everything
was fine.

[sighs]
So where did she go?

Friends? Family?

Yeah, I guess she could be
staying with her friend Dotty.

She'’s been renting our house
since my dad died.

-Where'’s that?
-Long Island.

Let'’s go.

[JJ] He was a real
Middle Ages junkie.

Loved the crusades
and all that stuff.

We'’d go to the Metropolitan

and look at medieval weapons
for hours.

Did you know one of those swords
weighs over 60 pounds?

So, he was like your knight
in shining armor.

[scoffs] No, Dr. Freud,
but he really got me.

And encouraged me.

And Lee didn'’t?

I doubt she'’s read anything
I'’ve ever written.

♪ We can find a small piece
of forgiveness♪

♪ If we give like we take♪

So, this is it, huh?

Yeah.
I haven'’t been back in years.

It looks so small.

I guess Dotty will be up by now.

Want me to go with you?

No, it'’s cool. Thanks.

Oh, honey.

I haven'’t heard from Lee
in over a year.

Not since I bought the house.

You bought the house?

She didn'’t tell you?

She really needed the money.

And you know how long
I'’ve wanted this place.

Okay. Um...

Thanks, Dotty.
I'’d better get going.

Hey, JJ.

Remember this? [chuckles]

-That was my tree.
-Mm. I hope you don'’t mind.

I found it in the back
of the closet.

Still works.

Your mom at Christmas.

She'’d refuse to feed us
until we'’d sung

every Christmas carol
known to man.

I had forgotten all about it.

Why didn'’t she tell me?

She wanted to protect you.

From what? Knowing she was broke
and had no place to live?

What a mess.

I haven'’t spoken to my dad
in almost a year.

He wanted me to wait till I had
more money to open my own place.

Which, you know,
I wouldn'’t even hear about.

He was right, of course.

You want kids?

You mean, like,
right this second?

I don'’t know.

They say you have
to forgive your parents

before you can be one, right?

Or maybe you have to be one
before you can forgive '’em.

JJ, it'’s Elliot.
I don'’t know where you are.

JJ, I'’m not sure
if you realize, but...

Now, this is just irresponsibl.

You missed your deadline and
you haven'’t bothered to call.

If I don'’t hear from you
in the next two hours,

don'’t bother calling at all.

♪ I just wanna be alone now♪

♪ With the dark at night♪

♪ It'’s not fair
to call it moonlit♪

♪ As a sun sets in the sky♪

♪ I pore over what you wrote♪

♪ And the letters
burn the page♪

♪ I see all the things
you meant to me♪

♪ And the things
you didn'’t say♪

♪ In the dark at night♪

♪ In the blue and white♪

♪ All the things
that I thought♪

♪ And all the things
that I am not♪

♪ Holding back
and never letting you see♪

♪ Now I am♪

♪ Now I am♪

♪ Now I am♪

-Hi.
-Any calls?

Yes.

Are you Mr. Sorcassian?

Could be. Who'’s asking?

I'’m Lee Bellmont's daughter.

I was hoping you might know
where she is.

-Mm, sorry.
-[JJ] Please.

I really need to find her.

Do you know anything at all
that could help me?

Hi. I'’m looking for Lee.
I'’m her daughter.

Well, well.
I was hoping you'’d show up.

Is she here?

I gave her
a couple of my shifts.

I just can'’t believe
I was so wrong about her.

[knocking]

I hope I'’m not interrupting.

What'’s up?

Well, you'’re always
telling us assistants

that we need to take control
of our destiny,

so I wrote a little something
for the food column.

-What a coincidence.
-Let'’s have a look.

I just thought
it would be a good time

to familiarize you with my work.

You know, for the future.

[chuckles]

We'’ll get back to you.

How is it?

Well, it'’s in English,
and it'’s about food.

Fine.
Send it to the fact checkers.

JJ really blew it.

[sultry music plays]

There you go. Sorry about that.
You want another one, right?

Yep.

Mom?
What are you doing?

Working. Excuse me.

I'’m sorry.

I was way out of line
last night,

but I never thought
you wouldn'’t come back.

Why should I come back?

So you can insult me
and treat me like dirt?

Hey, another scotch and soda.

I never knew how much
you missed Dad.

He was gone, and it felt like
you just moved on so fast.

But Alex told me
you never got over him.

How could you not know that?

I never saw you cry.
Never.

Maybe I didn'’t want you to.

-Why?
-I was such a mess.

I thought I was
doing you a favor.

-Hey, did you hear me?
-[Lee] In a minute.

And that first Christmas when
you blew me off, where were you?

What, did you think
I was dancing the night away?

The truth is
I was on the ship,

sitting alone in my room,
drinking.

I loved that man
with all my heart.

[crying] So did I.

It was like
I lost both of you.

My beautiful girl.

How could I have been
so selfish?

I wasn'’t there for you, was I?

I didn'’t realize.
I'’m so sorry.

Oh, Mom.

It'’s all right.

I'’m so sorry about last night.

You got home late.
I was jealous.

Jealous?

[JJ] Of you and Alex.

I think I'’m in love
with him, Mom.

What?

Are you mad?

Mad?
I couldn'’t be happier.

Really?

Where'’s my drink?
Come on. Move your ass.

My ass just retired.
I quit.

Come on, Mom.
Let'’s go home.

[man] Hey, scotch and soda.

[JJ] You guys
were like lovebirds.

You lit up whenever
he walked through the door.

Yeah, but you guys
were so connected.

I'’d walk in the kitchen,
you'’d be talking about books

I'’d never even heard of.

Not going to college
doesn'’t mean you're dumb, Mom.

Mm.

Hey.

How about I make you one of
my world-famous breakfasts?

[JJ] Sure.

Whoa!

I haven'’t had this stuff
in such a long time.

-Oh, my God.
-[Lee] What?

You used to do that.

You used to mix up
all the cereals for breakfast.

And for dinner too,
I'’m not proud to say.

I got it. I got it.

What? What do you got?

It might be too late, but...

[JJ] Comfort food is different
things to different people.

Shh, shh!

To some of us, it'’s a heaping
plate of macaroni and cheese.

For others,
it'’s Grandma's matzo ball soup.

For a hard-core food snob
like me,

though it'’s tough to admit,

the one food that warms
the cockles of my soul

like no other
is a hardy bowl of cold cereal.

One part Frosted Mini-Wheats
to equal parts

Froot Loops, Rice Krispies
and Apple Jacks.

This is the elixir
that conjures up

my most profound
sense memories.

Where'’s Elliot?

We'’ve come to expect eating
in a restaurant to satisfy

not only
our culinary curiosities

but to entertain us on a level
more akin to theater and art.

-Where the hell have you been?
-Later. Where'’s Elliot?

-In layout.
-Thank you.

Our city abounds
with such places,

but few engender a response
as primal as comfort.

And when one does...

Elliot, I did it.

...it demands
that we take notice.

It'’s practically Christmas,
my dear.

You'’re just a little too late.

I had something really important
to deal with.

You'’re no longer employed here.

We'’re going to print
with something Morgan wrote.

Morgan?

Aleko, a downtown restaurant
owned by

my friend, Alex Stermadapolous,
is quite unique.

With its tables pushed together
family style,

establishing the allure
of immediate camaraderie,

we are drenched
in the reassuring sensations

of love, food and security.

Whoa, what do you think
you'’re doing? Who's in charge?

We abandon our tension
and are finally seduced

by a meal that breaks down
any last vestige of stress.

Hey, you said I had more time.

Every night I pass by,
place is empty.

Time to cut your losses, Alex.

Dmitri, I promise you,
things are gonna pick up.

Promises don'’t pay the rent.

I already have
someone else interested.

As soon as you pay me
what you owe me,

I give you back
your furniture.

How can you do this?
It'’s two days before Christmas.

Christmas is the biggest
business time of the year.

Face it, my friend, if you can'’t
make it now, you never will.

Aleko is comfort food
at its finest.

[phone rings]

Hello?

Sure.
I'’ll be right there.

[knock on door]

Come in.

You know, JJ, it'’s not
every company that promotes

from within and takes chances
with their assistants.

Yes, sir.

And it'’s rare when
a staff member even recognizes

the talents
of junior employees.

So it'’s distressing,
very upsetting,

and a blow to your peers

that you'’ve disappointed us
like this.

I'’m so sorry, Mr. McNeil.

We asked you to stick
to Sondra'’s list.

-You couldn'’t even do that.
-I know, I know.

We asked you to find
your own voice to create

a young, fresh, interesting way
to talk about food

that was original, and,

well,

you did it.

Congratulations, JJ.

-You read it?
-We did.

-You like it?
-We love it.

But I thought I was too late.

It is, but we'’re gonna
do it anyway.

Are you kidding? Really?

[laughing] Yes.

Oh, my God,
I can'’t believe this.

Well, believe it, and start
working on your piece

for next month.

I'’ll let you take this
back to Morgan.

Thank you.
Thank you both so much.

-JJ.
-Yes?

What the hell is Aleko, and how
come I'’d never heard of it?

Trust me, Mr. McNeil,
the food is-- it'’s incredible.

You'’re the expert.
I guess I'’ll have to try it.

Elliot won'’t be needing that.

And by the way,
you misspelled macadamia.

What happened?

They loved my article
and they'’re going with it.

That'’s great!
I'’m so proud of you.

-I'’ll call you later.
-Okay.

Alex, you in there?

Why didn'’t you tell me
in the beginning?

If I'’d told you
I had money problems,

would you have even considered
giving me a review?

Probably not.

My piece comes out
in two weeks,

and then this place
would'’ve been packed.

In two weeks, this place is
gonna belong to somebody else.

Not necessarily.

You can still cook in here.

-Yeah, but...
-And you'’ve got the keys.

Dmitri'’s not gonna be able to
rent this place in a day, right?

That I don'’t know. Saw him
in here today with somebody.

Okay. All right, tomorrow
night'’s Christmas eve.

You shop and prepare
something special.

JJ, what are you talking about?
Look around you.

You just cook.
Leave the rest to me.

We'’ve got 24 hours
to turn this around.

JJ? I was starting
to get worried.

-What happened at work?
-They loved it.

But Alex has a problem,
and we need your help.

-Anything. You name it.
-Great, come on.

[Alex] ...pounds chestnuts,
two dozen leeks, two rosemary,

two bunches of thyme,
tarragon, where'’s the dill?

All right.
Take it back there.

Hey. Here'’s the list.
You know what to do.

Irma! Just the woman
I'’m looking for.

What'’s up, cookie?

I'’ve got a new hot spot for you.
Dinner tonight at Aleko'’s.

Just across the street
from Sea Lounge.

Baby, I'’m off to Barbados
in the morning.

Please? I really like this guy,
Irma, and he needs help.

A love story.
Why didn'’t you say so?

-Leave it to me.
-Thank you.

Mr. McNeil, can I talk
to you a minute?

Sure.

Still don'’t know
what we'’re doing.

-Said she had a plan.
-Yeah? Great.

She happen to mention
what that plan might be?

Would you let me see already?

Wow!

I'’m not sure about this.

I am. You'’re gorgeous.

Oh. Makeup, too?

Come on. What'’s wrong
with a little makeup?

I don'’t know, I've just never
really known how to put it on.

Finally, something
I can teach you.

Listen, Mom, I want you
to stay with me

until you get back on your feet.

Oh, honey, it won'’t be long.

Okay, pucker.

You know, I hate to say this,

but sometimes
miracles don'’t happen.

What'’s this?

Hi. Is one of you Alex?

Yeah, I'’m Alex.

Where do you want us
to put this?

Uh, over here
by the fireplace.

You got it.

-Merry Christmas.
-Thank you.

[chattering]

Hi. We heard somebody
needed a table.

Sure do.

Voilà!

Okay, you, over there.

You, there.

[Sophia laughing]

Yeah, that'’s good.
Chairs over here.

-[man] Table for two?
-Table right over here, please.

Just keep on going.

-Please.
-Thank you.

It'’s so nice of you to show me
this space on Christmas Eve,

but I heard someone else
was interested and I...

No problem.
Anything for a beautiful lady.

[camera shutters clicking,
photographers clamoring]

I thought you said
this place was empty.

What the hell?
Excuse me.

Excuse me. I'’m sorry.
Excuse me. Please. Please.

Dmitri, let me have a word
with you.

What the hell is going on?

Mmm!
Something smells good.

-Mama.
-[Lee] JJ!

-Thank you.
-[Lee] Oh, baby.

Oh, excuse me.
Irma. Welcome.

Alex.

I wouldn'’t miss it
for the world, sweetie.

-You'’re Alex.
-I am.

Alex, my friend. I brought
over a couple of my buddies.

David writes
for The New York Times,

Jojo, Village Voice,
Charlie, New York Magazine.

Bobby De Niro said he'’s gonna
try and come by later,

but he can be
a little bit flaky.

And this is Irma Van Wyck,
your guardian angel.

-I don'’t know what to say.
-Don'’t say anything, handsome.

Just get your tush
in the kitchen.

-[JJ] Go on. Get cooking.
-JJ.

Merry Christmas.
Thank you.

Five-year lease, 1% increase
every two years.

Three years tops,
2% every 12 months.

We'’ll talk.

Make yourself useful.
Grab a platter.

All right.

I can'’t get you in till 10:30.

Johnny!
Would you like some ouzo?

Have an ouzo. On the house.
Ouzo for everyone.

Thank you.

-Aah!
-Oh, I'’m sorry, excuse me.

It'’s okay.
No harm done.

I like your cleaning techniques.

Better than soap any day.

I'’m Lee, JJ's mother.

I'’m Clay, JJ's boss.

Um...

Can I offer you
a half-empty glass of ouzo?

I thought it was half full.

[chuckles]

Taste this.

What is that?

-Gotcha.
-[laughs]

Hey, I don'’t know
how to thank you, JJ.

You don'’t need to.

Yeah, I do.

[man] Go, Johnny!

Uh-oh. Come on.

Johnny'’s channeling Zorba again.

[all] Opa!

[lively music plays]

Shall we join them?

Tonight I'’m just gonna be
in the audience,

if that'’s okay with you.

I'’m dancing! [laughs]

[all cheering]

[cheering continues]

[music fades]

[jazz intro]

♪ I want you to pay a little
special attention♪

♪ When you'’re loading up
your sleigh♪

♪ Fill it full of sweetness
and kindness♪

♪ And the icing on the cake♪

♪ Would be a smile for me
each morning♪

♪ Yeah, I know
that must seem too much♪

♪ But think of all the room
you'’re saving♪

♪ On all those pretty presents
and stuff♪

♪ So, fill my stocking
and fill my heart♪

♪ And while you'’re at it,
these empty arms♪

♪ You can keep that holly,
mistletoe and snow♪

♪ I want love in a big red bow♪