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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,150 --> 00:00:23,791 # I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way 2 00:00:24,751 --> 00:00:27,791 # As I go through life 3 00:00:29,752 --> 00:00:34,792 # Somewhere in the world there's a place for me 4 00:00:36,153 --> 00:00:40,192 # Somewhere I will find me a new life 5 00:00:42,152 --> 00:00:44,753 # I don't know where I'm going 6 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,793 # but that's still OK 7 00:00:47,753 --> 00:00:50,794 # My dream is out there 8 00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:57,195 # Never gonna stop till that dream is mine 9 00:00:59,155 --> 00:01:03,196 # Gonna see what life's all about then 10 00:01:05,156 --> 00:01:08,556 # Gotta get away to go in search for something that 11 00:01:08,556 --> 00:01:10,557 # makes all the good times 12 00:01:10,557 --> 00:01:14,556 # Let the good times come and turn my life around 13 00:01:14,556 --> 00:01:18,557 # I just gotta go and find a future 14 00:01:18,557 --> 00:01:20,957 # and leave the past behind me 15 00:01:20,957 --> 00:01:25,998 # Somewhere fame and fortune's waiting to be found 16 00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:32,999 # And I'm on my way-y-y 17 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:41,000 # Yes, I'm on my way-y-y 18 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:53,201 # Somewhere I will find me a new life-e-e 19 00:02:02,162 --> 00:02:06,763 # Somewhere in the world there's a place for me 20 00:02:06,763 --> 00:02:10,764 # Gotta get away to go in search for something 21 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,764 # that makes all the good times 22 00:02:12,764 --> 00:02:16,764 # Let the good times come and turn my life around 23 00:02:16,764 --> 00:02:21,365 # I just gotta go and find the future 24 00:02:21,365 --> 00:02:23,364 # and leave the past behind me 25 00:02:23,364 --> 00:02:28,365 # Somewhere fame and fortune's waiting to be found 26 00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:30,405 # Oh, yeah 27 00:02:31,366 --> 00:02:35,406 # And I'm on my way-y-y # 28 00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:45,928 'I fell in love with Jacqueline Susann the first time I saw her.' 29 00:02:45,928 --> 00:02:48,928 'She was starring on Broadway.' 30 00:02:51,929 --> 00:02:55,929 Allo? No, madame eez not 'ere. 31 00:02:55,929 --> 00:02:59,609 Oh, wait. I 'ear her coming. Madame? 32 00:03:03,329 --> 00:03:05,730 'OK, maybe not "starring"'. 33 00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:10,530 'Then came radio. Jungle Heat with Florence Maybelle.' 34 00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:12,675 Ellen, I think we're really lost. 35 00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:15,891 The native guides and Uboo have disappeared. 36 00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,892 Hey? What? 37 00:03:17,892 --> 00:03:22,252 We're lost in the jungle. The heat is unbearable! 38 00:03:22,252 --> 00:03:25,253 'And acclaimed personal appearances.' 39 00:03:25,253 --> 00:03:29,253 We swirl, coat and snack. It's the Swiss sensation. 40 00:03:29,253 --> 00:03:31,814 Oh, shit! 41 00:03:35,893 --> 00:03:37,893 'She had it all.' 42 00:03:37,893 --> 00:03:41,294 'She just needed one little thing to make it work.' 43 00:03:41,294 --> 00:03:43,294 'One final touch.' 44 00:03:43,294 --> 00:03:47,735 'The one thing every person needs to make life complete.' 45 00:03:47,735 --> 00:03:50,335 Miss Susann? 46 00:03:50,335 --> 00:03:53,456 'A press agent. Me.' Miss Susann? 47 00:03:53,456 --> 00:03:56,256 What? 48 00:03:56,256 --> 00:03:59,777 - Irving Mansfield. - And? 49 00:03:59,777 --> 00:04:02,457 We met through Maury Manning. 50 00:04:02,457 --> 00:04:05,458 That son of a bitch! That worm! 51 00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:10,017 - We gotta talk. - Really? 52 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:13,458 About the divorce? Did you call a lawyer? 53 00:04:14,418 --> 00:04:16,898 It's not gonna happen. No can do. 54 00:04:16,898 --> 00:04:20,499 What do you mean, no can do? You promised! You swore! 55 00:04:20,499 --> 00:04:24,819 Look, I'm sorry, cookie. But, we're over. I got a show. 56 00:04:24,819 --> 00:04:30,260 How can you do this to me? What did I do wrong? I laugh at everything you say. 57 00:04:30,260 --> 00:04:32,261 Oh, no, listen. 58 00:04:32,261 --> 00:04:37,101 Aw, hey, bright eyes, who's gonna stay my number one fan, though, huh? 59 00:04:42,901 --> 00:04:46,022 Maury! Maury! 60 00:04:47,022 --> 00:04:49,022 Maury. 61 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,502 Oh, Maury. 62 00:04:51,502 --> 00:04:56,343 - Well, I WAS his publicist. - Call the papers. Tell everybody. 63 00:04:56,343 --> 00:04:59,384 He's a lowlife. He left me for his wife. 64 00:04:59,384 --> 00:05:02,864 We should talk. 65 00:05:03,984 --> 00:05:07,305 Not here. Someplace nice, someplace snazzy. 66 00:05:07,305 --> 00:05:10,345 Don't be stupid. I don't even know you. 67 00:05:10,345 --> 00:05:12,946 - My treat. - Let's go. 68 00:05:19,906 --> 00:05:24,506 Wow, Lindy's. I'm really impressed. Do you come here all the time? 69 00:05:24,506 --> 00:05:28,987 Are you kidding? Only every day. All the big stars eat here. 70 00:05:28,987 --> 00:05:32,588 Look at them all. Look at all the pictures. Jack Benny. 71 00:05:32,588 --> 00:05:37,068 - There's Henny Youngman. Milton Berle! - Berle's the best. He's the greatest. 72 00:05:37,068 --> 00:05:39,639 When he puts on a dress and a wig? 73 00:05:39,664 --> 00:05:42,868 And the lipstick and the lashes. I love it. 74 00:05:42,869 --> 00:05:45,669 - This bread's fabulous. - Don't fill up on it. 75 00:05:45,669 --> 00:05:49,299 Save your appetite. What about Burns and Allen? 76 00:05:49,324 --> 00:05:51,870 - Aren't they a scream? - Hysterical. 77 00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:55,270 Irving, you're smart. You have taste. 78 00:05:55,270 --> 00:05:59,551 Thank you. So, Jackie, let's talk about you. 79 00:05:59,551 --> 00:06:01,711 It's about time. 80 00:06:01,711 --> 00:06:05,911 - I've gotta tell you, I've seen all your work. - Really? - Oh, sure. 81 00:06:05,911 --> 00:06:09,032 - Death Takes a Powder. - I was the whole plot. 82 00:06:09,032 --> 00:06:11,911 I was crazy about you on that radio thing. 83 00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:15,392 What a performance. When that gorilla attacked you... 84 00:06:15,393 --> 00:06:18,193 - Yeah, I played both parts. - That's versatility. 85 00:06:18,193 --> 00:06:22,194 I was so angry when you were killed by that tribe of cannibals. 86 00:06:22,194 --> 00:06:26,795 - Wasn't it terrifying? They started at my ankles. - Where have you been? 87 00:06:26,795 --> 00:06:28,794 What have you been up to? 88 00:06:28,794 --> 00:06:30,834 You first. 89 00:06:31,834 --> 00:06:36,435 I have a group of select clients, primarily blue chip performers. 90 00:06:36,435 --> 00:06:40,436 - Do you know Perry Como? - Only every song! Every album! 91 00:06:40,436 --> 00:06:43,836 - I handle his brother... - Oh. - ..in-law, ex. 92 00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:47,597 - A juggler. You know Danny Kaye? - Danny Kaye?! 93 00:06:47,597 --> 00:06:51,597 - Isn't he great? And you? - Me? 94 00:06:51,597 --> 00:06:56,598 Oh. Well, I'm... looking at several major offers in different areas, 95 00:06:56,598 --> 00:07:01,599 and... people have approached me. I'm in negotiations. You understand. 96 00:07:01,599 --> 00:07:03,598 Of course. You're in demand. 97 00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:07,599 - I wouldn't wanna rush into anything. - Savvy. Very wise. 98 00:07:07,599 --> 00:07:10,639 Except maybe this. 99 00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:15,600 - Jackie? - How deep is this? How long will it take? 100 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:19,600 - If I start choking and screaming, don't listen! - Miss Susann! 101 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,281 - Just let me die! Just let me drown! - Get out of there. 102 00:07:23,281 --> 00:07:25,881 You could catch something. Germs, bacteria! 103 00:07:25,881 --> 00:07:30,322 Tell the papers it was an accident! Tell them I was about to make it big! 104 00:07:30,322 --> 00:07:33,482 Here's your headline, "A Star Sinks!" 105 00:07:33,482 --> 00:07:35,923 - That's good. - They won't print it! 106 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:40,923 There won't be a picture! Even if I die! Because I'm nothing! I'm nobody! 107 00:07:40,923 --> 00:07:43,773 That's not true. If you drown in the duck pond, 108 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,562 you'd get a big picture. People would love it. 109 00:07:46,563 --> 00:07:50,964 I haven't worked for over a year! I haven't eaten in a week! 110 00:07:50,964 --> 00:07:54,044 I can't get an agent! I can't get an audition! 111 00:07:54,044 --> 00:07:58,365 - Hang on! - They won't even let me demonstrate margarine in a supermarket! 112 00:07:58,365 --> 00:08:03,406 - They say I'm too intense! - 'Cause they're all morons. 113 00:08:03,406 --> 00:08:07,446 You're not! You're gorgeous! You're perfect for margarine. 114 00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:11,337 But I'm not blonde! I'm not some tiny little thing with blue eyes! 115 00:08:11,362 --> 00:08:14,005 I'm not what they want or what anybody wants! 116 00:08:14,006 --> 00:08:19,887 - That's not true! - My whole life has been the same story, over and over. I'm coming! 117 00:08:19,887 --> 00:08:22,368 Maury didn't want me. 118 00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,488 I want you! 119 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:30,009 You do? 120 00:08:31,769 --> 00:08:35,770 - You want me? - When Maury dumped you, it tore me apart... 121 00:08:35,770 --> 00:08:40,370 .... but I was glad, secretly. That's why I left him. I quit! 122 00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:42,651 You quit over me? 123 00:08:42,651 --> 00:08:45,931 And because he fired me. But that was his reason. 124 00:08:45,931 --> 00:08:49,931 To me, it was all about you, completely, from top to bottom. 125 00:08:49,931 --> 00:08:53,851 Jackie, I want you. 126 00:08:53,851 --> 00:08:55,852 Oh, Irving. 127 00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:59,532 - As a woman... - Oh, my God. 128 00:08:59,532 --> 00:09:01,893 ...and a client. 129 00:09:01,893 --> 00:09:05,413 Irving, don't say that if you don't mean it. 130 00:09:05,413 --> 00:09:09,774 But, I do. I do with all my heart. I'll... give you my card... 131 00:09:09,774 --> 00:09:11,774 ... a dry one. 132 00:09:11,774 --> 00:09:16,775 All I want is just what everybody wants. 133 00:09:16,775 --> 00:09:20,775 One little thing. One tiny little dream. 134 00:09:20,775 --> 00:09:23,775 - What's that? - To be famous. 135 00:09:23,775 --> 00:09:27,775 World famous. To make some noise. 136 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:33,136 To let everybody know I was here. To live forever. Is that so much to ask? 137 00:09:33,136 --> 00:09:36,737 Not at all. It's America. I'll help you. 138 00:09:36,737 --> 00:09:38,897 I guarantee. I swear it. 139 00:09:38,897 --> 00:09:41,897 I will use all my connections. I will beg, 140 00:09:41,897 --> 00:09:44,378 I will bribe, I will make calls. 141 00:09:44,378 --> 00:09:47,818 Calls?! When? Who to? Who do you know? 142 00:09:47,818 --> 00:09:52,219 The Tribune, Winchell, the Post. I can get you in tomorrow's papers. 143 00:09:52,219 --> 00:09:56,300 Jackie Susann has dinner at Lindy's. Thought the bread was boffo. 144 00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:58,299 You... you can do that? 145 00:09:58,299 --> 00:10:00,339 I want... 146 00:10:01,299 --> 00:10:04,180 I want to make you so famous. 147 00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:08,700 Irving. 148 00:10:10,661 --> 00:10:13,701 'Here's your host, Brad Bradburn!' 149 00:10:18,942 --> 00:10:21,422 Thank you! Thank you! 150 00:10:21,422 --> 00:10:26,263 Welcome to the game Tri-State can't stop playing, What's My Job? 151 00:10:26,263 --> 00:10:28,783 Brought to you by Ever-grip. 152 00:10:28,783 --> 00:10:31,744 The denture adhesive that just won't let go. 153 00:10:31,744 --> 00:10:34,343 Thanks, Tammy. Let's meet our panel. 154 00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:39,534 First, we have everybody's favourite City University civics whiz Professor Brainiac. 155 00:10:42,304 --> 00:10:47,315 Beside him is the lovely star of It Came From Beneath the World, 156 00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:48,985 Miss Bambi Madison! 157 00:10:48,985 --> 00:10:53,026 Hi, everybody! 158 00:10:53,026 --> 00:10:58,747 Finally, welcome noted Broadway actress, radio and showbiz personality, 159 00:10:58,747 --> 00:11:00,747 Miss Jacqueline Susan! 160 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,308 It's Suse-ann. 161 00:11:03,308 --> 00:11:07,587 Suzanne Susann, yes. Now, let's bring out our first guest. 162 00:11:07,587 --> 00:11:10,348 Enter and sign in, please. 163 00:11:16,228 --> 00:11:20,229 All right, Leslie, why don't you take a seat over here? 164 00:11:20,229 --> 00:11:23,910 Panel, the clock is ticking. Audience? 165 00:11:23,910 --> 00:11:25,950 What's my job? 166 00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:29,470 - Professor? - Do you provide a valuable service? 167 00:11:29,470 --> 00:11:32,711 - Yes, I do. - Bambi? 168 00:11:32,711 --> 00:11:37,512 I'm appearing in It Came From Beneath the World, where I play 169 00:11:37,512 --> 00:11:41,592 a beautiful archaeologist. Are you a beautiful archaeologist? 170 00:11:41,592 --> 00:11:43,592 No. 171 00:11:43,592 --> 00:11:45,592 Suzanne? 172 00:11:45,592 --> 00:11:49,752 In your job, do you wear a uniform? 173 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:52,433 - Yes, I do. - Good question. 174 00:11:52,433 --> 00:11:58,274 - In It Came From Beneath the World, so do I! Are you an actress? - No. 175 00:11:58,274 --> 00:12:01,954 - She's not an actress! - Are you? 176 00:12:01,954 --> 00:12:04,435 - Excuse me? - Isn't she great? 177 00:12:04,435 --> 00:12:08,355 - Do you work for the government? - No. 178 00:12:08,355 --> 00:12:13,356 In my next movie, Creature From Beyond, I play a beautiful teacher. 179 00:12:13,356 --> 00:12:15,436 What do you teach? 180 00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:17,916 Students. 181 00:12:17,916 --> 00:12:20,956 - Are you a teacher? - No. 182 00:12:20,956 --> 00:12:23,436 Are you a brunette? 183 00:12:23,436 --> 00:12:27,762 You know, I'm a big movie star and I've never even heard of you. 184 00:12:27,787 --> 00:12:29,597 Have you ever heard of her? 185 00:12:29,597 --> 00:12:33,598 - Time's running out. - Do you do repair work? - No. 186 00:12:33,598 --> 00:12:39,119 - Are you an astronaut? - No. - Are you an idiot? - Brad! 187 00:12:39,119 --> 00:12:42,119 Time's up. I'm sorry. Leslie. 188 00:12:42,119 --> 00:12:44,560 I'm an optometrist. 189 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:48,960 Oh, me too. I always look on the bright side. 190 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,641 How could you find the bright side? 191 00:12:51,641 --> 00:12:56,160 And now a word from Ever-grip. The denture adhesive that won't let go. 192 00:12:56,160 --> 00:13:00,641 Congratulations, Leslie. You go home with $25! 193 00:13:00,641 --> 00:13:03,921 I hope you enjoyed playing What's My Job! 194 00:13:15,523 --> 00:13:18,524 They canned me? 195 00:13:18,524 --> 00:13:21,524 How could they can me after only one show? 196 00:13:21,524 --> 00:13:26,525 They didn't can you. They requested you not to come back, ever. They loved you. 197 00:13:26,525 --> 00:13:30,524 - If they loved me, why can't I come back? - They loved you too much. 198 00:13:30,524 --> 00:13:35,045 - You're too special. - Should I be less special? Oh, God! 199 00:13:35,045 --> 00:13:39,046 - What do they want? - They want you. They just don't know it yet. 200 00:13:39,046 --> 00:13:43,846 When will they know? When are they gonna get with it? I'm almost 30. 201 00:13:43,846 --> 00:13:47,127 - Right! - Fuck you! - But you look great. 202 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:51,127 Like a teenager. A sophisticated teenager. 203 00:13:51,127 --> 00:13:54,168 Oh, but Irving, I got fired. Again. 204 00:13:55,128 --> 00:13:58,302 And now I'm going home to my studio apartment, 205 00:13:58,327 --> 00:14:00,529 to brown walls and a Murphy bed. 206 00:14:00,529 --> 00:14:03,608 So leave. Don't go in there. 207 00:14:03,608 --> 00:14:05,609 Where should I go? 208 00:14:05,609 --> 00:14:08,289 To my place. 209 00:14:08,289 --> 00:14:11,089 No. To our place. 210 00:14:11,089 --> 00:14:14,090 Wait. 211 00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:21,531 Cashmere and wool, 60/40, imported. What are you doing? 212 00:14:21,531 --> 00:14:24,011 I don't believe this. 213 00:14:24,011 --> 00:14:26,412 Marry me. 214 00:14:29,892 --> 00:14:32,373 Marriage? 215 00:14:32,373 --> 00:14:36,293 Oh, Irving, that's a... that's a big decision. 216 00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:40,333 - The biggest. The clincher. - Well, before I... 217 00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:44,893 Before I say yes, before I sign on, there's somebody I want to talk to. 218 00:14:45,854 --> 00:14:48,014 Who? 219 00:14:48,014 --> 00:14:51,494 See, I don't trust psychiatrists. 220 00:14:51,494 --> 00:14:57,095 They nap. I had this great psychic. She did my chart. She got deported. 221 00:14:57,095 --> 00:15:00,496 - Now how come she didn't see that coming? - Right. 222 00:15:00,496 --> 00:15:03,856 So now, whenever I need to talk, I come here. 223 00:15:03,856 --> 00:15:06,857 To him. 224 00:15:06,857 --> 00:15:09,097 Him? 225 00:15:09,097 --> 00:15:11,577 Him, him. 226 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:15,177 Oh, Him. Right. Gotcha. 227 00:15:15,177 --> 00:15:17,897 Go ahead, say something. 228 00:15:17,897 --> 00:15:20,378 How are ya? 229 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:24,378 Kudos on the weather. The whole week, gorgeous. 230 00:15:24,378 --> 00:15:28,379 It's me, Jackie. Did you see What's My Job this morning? 231 00:15:28,379 --> 00:15:31,859 Was that the best you could do? OK, I'm sorry. I know. 232 00:15:31,859 --> 00:15:36,460 People are starving and dying. You have other things on your mind. 233 00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:38,940 But, listen! 234 00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:44,861 This man, this person, this... this publicist wants to marry me. 235 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,982 Irv Mansfield. 236 00:15:46,982 --> 00:15:50,661 He's a good man. He's a kind man. 237 00:15:50,661 --> 00:15:53,142 Very well dressed. 238 00:15:53,142 --> 00:15:57,142 In fact, I don't even know if I'm worthy of such a man. 239 00:15:57,142 --> 00:15:59,623 Oh, Jackie. 240 00:15:59,623 --> 00:16:02,623 - Sit tight. What? - Could I? 241 00:16:02,623 --> 00:16:05,103 Be my guest. 242 00:16:05,103 --> 00:16:07,624 This... this angel, 243 00:16:07,624 --> 00:16:10,104 this Jackie, 244 00:16:10,104 --> 00:16:12,624 this stunning, 245 00:16:12,624 --> 00:16:15,105 multi-gifted woman. 246 00:16:15,105 --> 00:16:17,585 You do wonderful work. 247 00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:23,185 Some people don't understand her. They don't get it. But they will. 248 00:16:23,185 --> 00:16:27,186 I'll make them. I'll force them. Because... 249 00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:30,226 I love her so much. 250 00:16:31,186 --> 00:16:35,227 And I think I can get her a TV commercial. 251 00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:46,508 - God wants to know what kind of a TV commercial. - Network, national. 252 00:16:50,789 --> 00:16:53,269 God says yes! 253 00:16:53,269 --> 00:16:55,790 Isn't she great? 254 00:16:57,630 --> 00:17:01,430 'Then came the happiest day of my life.' 255 00:17:01,430 --> 00:17:05,830 'We rushed down to City Hall, and I kept my word.' 256 00:17:05,830 --> 00:17:08,831 - This way, boys! - Oh! Hello, boys! 257 00:17:08,831 --> 00:17:12,671 'We had full press coverage. All seven dailies.' 258 00:17:12,671 --> 00:17:16,952 Back, please. Do your stuff, honey. 'And I got her that commercial.' 259 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:23,913 Why, hello. I'm Jacqueline Susann. And when I'm not appearing on stage or screen, 260 00:17:23,913 --> 00:17:28,074 you'll find me right here surrounded by everything I love best. 261 00:17:28,074 --> 00:17:31,714 Home, family and Schiffli embroidery. 262 00:17:31,714 --> 00:17:35,674 Look at Josephine. Oh, my God! She looks fabulous. 263 00:17:35,674 --> 00:17:39,594 - A star is born. - For special occasions. 264 00:17:39,594 --> 00:17:42,115 And everyday... 265 00:17:42,115 --> 00:17:44,755 Ohhh! Choreography! 266 00:17:44,755 --> 00:17:48,156 ..with Schiffli. 267 00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,636 Honey, bravo! You were incredible. 268 00:17:53,636 --> 00:17:54,891 You made me wanna sew. 269 00:17:54,916 --> 00:17:58,597 '..announced that the chances of nuclear war are only 30%.' 270 00:17:58,597 --> 00:18:00,224 Irving, we have to talk. 271 00:18:00,249 --> 00:18:05,037 And now you're in every home in America, like Corn Flakes! Like beer! 272 00:18:05,038 --> 00:18:07,959 - And it's just the beginning. - Settle down. 273 00:18:07,959 --> 00:18:11,958 - What? - I got something to tell ya. Big news. 274 00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:16,599 - Bigger than Schiffli? - The biggest. 275 00:18:16,599 --> 00:18:19,079 - Ready? - Ready. 276 00:18:19,079 --> 00:18:23,800 Everybody! Your attention, please. A major headline, a breaking story. 277 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:29,201 Miss Jacqueline Susann, star of stage, screen, and Schiffli embroidery, 278 00:18:29,201 --> 00:18:32,201 has something to tell you. An exclusive. 279 00:18:32,201 --> 00:18:34,001 Well, 280 00:18:34,001 --> 00:18:36,482 in just about seven months, 281 00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:41,203 Irving and I are having... a blessed event. 282 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:44,762 - A brand-new, human life! - More me! 283 00:18:49,923 --> 00:18:53,163 Oh, ho! Thanks! 284 00:18:55,404 --> 00:18:59,444 'And then, our precious son was born.' 285 00:19:01,405 --> 00:19:04,485 'He was special... but different.' 286 00:19:04,485 --> 00:19:09,006 'We did the best we could. But, finally,' 287 00:19:09,006 --> 00:19:12,886 'we had to make a terrible decision.' 288 00:19:19,006 --> 00:19:23,927 You'll find that it's a fine institution. The child will receive excellent care. 289 00:19:23,927 --> 00:19:27,887 Guy. His name is Guy. He has a name. 290 00:19:27,887 --> 00:19:29,568 Guy. Yes. 291 00:19:30,648 --> 00:19:35,569 - We specialize in long-term care for the retarded. - He's not retarded! 292 00:19:35,569 --> 00:19:38,569 That's not the right word. That's not Guy. 293 00:19:38,569 --> 00:19:41,505 - No, of course not. - As I was going to say, 294 00:19:41,530 --> 00:19:45,210 Pembroke also specializes in cases of severe autism. 295 00:19:45,210 --> 00:19:49,771 Now this is the only practical solution. 296 00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:59,051 And we could come up there to see him, whenever we want? 297 00:19:59,051 --> 00:20:01,971 Absolutely. Every week. 298 00:20:04,732 --> 00:20:07,252 I'm sorry. 299 00:20:19,014 --> 00:20:23,615 All right, what's going on? Why hasn't she returned my calls? 300 00:20:23,615 --> 00:20:27,015 - Flo, I'm sorry. - It's been months. Where is she? 301 00:20:27,015 --> 00:20:29,014 - She's not ready. - She's not ready? 302 00:20:29,014 --> 00:20:31,763 She's not ready for compassion? For sensitivity? 303 00:20:31,787 --> 00:20:35,014 - She's not ready for the best friend she's ever had? - Soon. 304 00:20:35,015 --> 00:20:39,016 - Now. - I am making a personal appearance. 305 00:20:39,016 --> 00:20:41,096 - Flo, don't! - Jacqueline. 306 00:20:41,096 --> 00:20:43,177 Go away. 307 00:20:43,177 --> 00:20:49,017 - Get out. - It's me. It's Florence Maybelle. It's Flo. - I recognise you. 308 00:20:49,017 --> 00:20:53,538 - I heard about Guy. - What did you hear? Guy's fine. 309 00:20:53,538 --> 00:20:57,059 - He's recuperating out of town. He has asthma. - Jackie? 310 00:20:57,059 --> 00:20:59,859 I've got the papers. Variety. Backstage. 311 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,860 - Who cares? - Jackie! 312 00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:05,859 Flo, can I get you something? Coffee? Gin? 313 00:21:05,859 --> 00:21:10,420 Later. Listen to me, both of you. I, too, have a child. 314 00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:13,820 - A child I never see. - Why not? 315 00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:16,421 I don't want to. Oh, sweetheart, 316 00:21:16,421 --> 00:21:19,661 - you can't spend the rest of your life in bed. - Why not? 317 00:21:19,661 --> 00:21:24,262 - What should I get up for, except my son? - But you see Guy once a week. 318 00:21:24,262 --> 00:21:26,613 You've got to think about your career. 319 00:21:26,635 --> 00:21:29,579 Career. What career? It'll never happen for me. 320 00:21:29,582 --> 00:21:34,183 Sweetheart, things are gonna turn around. Any day now, any second. 321 00:21:34,183 --> 00:21:37,184 It's just the business peaks and valleys. 322 00:21:37,184 --> 00:21:42,343 A year ago, Sinatra was garbage, over. Today, he's Vegas. He's headlining. 323 00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:47,664 - It can happen to you. Talent isn't everything. - When's it gonna happen? 324 00:21:47,664 --> 00:21:52,145 When's the world gonna open its arms and say "Jackie Susann, we love ya"? 325 00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:55,145 - Jackie, I love you. - And I love you. 326 00:21:55,145 --> 00:21:59,306 I know, and I appreciate it. I do. But you're just two people. 327 00:21:59,306 --> 00:22:03,587 That's just a start. I need more. I do. 328 00:22:03,587 --> 00:22:06,627 I need... mass love. 329 00:22:06,627 --> 00:22:09,067 Mass love? 330 00:22:21,148 --> 00:22:23,188 # Mass love 331 00:22:47,432 --> 00:22:50,391 # Mass love... # 332 00:23:01,473 --> 00:23:03,393 Oh, hi. 333 00:23:07,754 --> 00:23:11,515 - Afternoon, Mr. Mansfield. - Oh, afternoon, Danny. 334 00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:14,515 Come on, come on, Josie. 335 00:23:14,515 --> 00:23:17,954 Eat a little something. For me. Keep up your strength. 336 00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:19,516 No. Not till I'm famous. 337 00:23:19,516 --> 00:23:24,516 I'm going on a hunger strike, like whatshisname? Gandhi. He got famous! 338 00:23:24,516 --> 00:23:28,156 - And thin. - A book! 339 00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:31,957 - A book! - Oh, come on, Irving. 340 00:23:31,957 --> 00:23:35,757 - Reading never solved anything. - She's not gonna read a book. 341 00:23:35,757 --> 00:23:38,798 - What are you talking about? - You're gonna write one. 342 00:23:38,798 --> 00:23:43,798 Irving, stop. You're crazy. A book. I can't write a book. 343 00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:46,999 You can. You can do anything. You wrote a play. 344 00:23:46,999 --> 00:23:48,999 It was a bomb. 345 00:23:48,999 --> 00:23:51,142 You wrote articles about Josephine. 346 00:23:51,167 --> 00:23:53,999 - People loved them. They went wild. - She's a dog! 347 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,000 You write beautiful letters to Guy. 348 00:23:56,025 --> 00:24:00,000 They read them to him like that one where you described your mink coat. 349 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:04,600 - I was inspired. - Writers get famous, world famous. 350 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:08,681 They get legendary. You know, he's got a point there. 351 00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:14,042 You think about Hemingway and... Dickens, and... I'm sure there are others. 352 00:24:14,042 --> 00:24:18,523 But Flo, a book. A whole book. What the hell am I gonna write about? 353 00:24:18,523 --> 00:24:22,003 - I got it. - What? - You write about me. 354 00:24:22,003 --> 00:24:24,556 No, you write about this beautiful actress... 355 00:24:24,581 --> 00:24:27,283 ...and all the handsome young men who desire her. 356 00:24:27,284 --> 00:24:30,284 Science fiction? 357 00:24:30,284 --> 00:24:34,324 - Do you remember the movie I Remember Mama? - Irene Dunne. 358 00:24:34,324 --> 00:24:39,125 Right. She played a Swedish woman who had a daughter who wanted to be a writer. 359 00:24:39,125 --> 00:24:43,525 - Can you believe she got a nomination for that? It was a slow year. - Flo! 360 00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:48,126 The little girl was in the kitchen with her wonderful, Swedish mother. 361 00:24:48,126 --> 00:24:51,126 And the mother said, "Write about what you know." 362 00:24:51,126 --> 00:24:55,127 So she wrote about her Swedish mother. It was a blockbuster. 363 00:24:55,127 --> 00:24:58,127 But I don't have a wonderful Swedish mother! 364 00:24:58,127 --> 00:25:01,128 And all I know about is show business. 365 00:25:01,128 --> 00:25:04,565 All I know about are people fucking their way into movies, 366 00:25:04,590 --> 00:25:07,128 popping pills and winding up in the gutter. 367 00:25:07,129 --> 00:25:13,169 All I know about are ageing stars, hopeful whores and cheap studs. 368 00:25:13,169 --> 00:25:18,449 All I know about are tits, ass and the truth. 369 00:25:21,090 --> 00:25:24,530 And nobody writes books about that. 370 00:25:26,491 --> 00:25:28,891 Why not? 371 00:25:31,851 --> 00:25:33,852 Jackie? 372 00:25:33,852 --> 00:25:35,892 Yeah? 373 00:25:36,852 --> 00:25:41,133 You wouldn't use real names, would you? 374 00:25:42,893 --> 00:25:46,693 "He held her gently and stroked her hair." 375 00:25:46,693 --> 00:25:49,733 "Oh, Lyon, it happened." 376 00:25:52,694 --> 00:25:57,494 "I was beginning to worry about myself. Not at all." 377 00:25:57,494 --> 00:26:01,040 "It's very rare for a girl to actually feel anything..." 378 00:26:01,065 --> 00:26:03,559 "...or reach a climax, in the beginning." 379 00:26:08,496 --> 00:26:13,497 "She stroked the beaver coat one night with Robbie." 380 00:26:13,497 --> 00:26:18,137 "That's what a great body was for, to get things you wanted." 381 00:26:19,096 --> 00:26:22,937 "She wondered what it would be like, really to care," 382 00:26:22,937 --> 00:26:26,137 "to love someone like Lyon Burke." 383 00:26:27,098 --> 00:26:30,098 "Then she opened the bottle of pills." 384 00:26:30,098 --> 00:26:33,099 "She took two of them." 385 00:26:33,099 --> 00:26:36,739 "One worked, but two..." 386 00:26:36,739 --> 00:26:40,780 Sally, she's taking to this writing thing like a duck to water. 387 00:26:40,780 --> 00:26:45,780 - She calls me her literary advisor, her muse. I don't know. - Irving! 388 00:26:45,780 --> 00:26:48,781 - Yeah? - Can I write about having orgasms? 389 00:26:48,781 --> 00:26:50,781 Yes. 390 00:26:50,781 --> 00:26:54,781 You've never heard such typing. She's a regular Shakespeare. 391 00:26:54,781 --> 00:26:57,261 - Irving? - Yes? 392 00:26:57,261 --> 00:27:00,742 - What about orgasms in swimming pools? - Even better. 393 00:27:00,742 --> 00:27:05,422 Did you hear? Even Shakespeare didn't think of that, on his best day. 394 00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:21,945 "The soft numbness began to slither through her body..." 395 00:27:21,945 --> 00:27:26,946 Sweetheart. Chapter twelve, Jennifer's wedding night. 396 00:27:26,946 --> 00:27:30,945 She's marrying Tony Polar, the handsome nightclub singer. 397 00:27:30,945 --> 00:27:36,546 He wants her to perform an unspeakable sexual act? I'm lost. 398 00:27:36,546 --> 00:27:39,586 - Up the butt! - Gotcha. 399 00:27:45,067 --> 00:27:49,348 "An angry concrete animal caught unawares in a hot spell." 400 00:27:52,188 --> 00:27:56,229 "September had been a good month. October brought Lyon Burke." 401 00:27:56,229 --> 00:28:00,710 "He crawled on his knees after her. She backed away again." 402 00:28:00,710 --> 00:28:03,750 "'Tony, all of this is not yours.'" 403 00:28:03,750 --> 00:28:07,750 "'It's mine.' He came after her. She eluded him again." 404 00:28:07,750 --> 00:28:11,910 "She stroked her thighs, her fingers touching between her legs." 405 00:28:11,910 --> 00:28:15,631 "'That's mine, too', she said softly." 406 00:28:15,631 --> 00:28:20,031 "'Who are you protecting? A whore who contaminated my pool?'" 407 00:28:20,031 --> 00:28:23,952 "'You mean nothing to him. He likes boys for his diversion.'" 408 00:28:26,912 --> 00:28:31,713 "'I can't believe it, every time I touch them, I can't believe it.'" 409 00:28:31,713 --> 00:28:35,514 "His mouth, it was greedy. She held his head gently." 410 00:28:35,514 --> 00:28:40,193 "'I never want to move', he mumbled." The end. 411 00:28:40,193 --> 00:28:43,394 And so, 412 00:28:43,394 --> 00:28:47,354 is it good? Is it great? 413 00:28:47,354 --> 00:28:51,595 It's gotta be great. Is it the greatest thing you've ever read? 414 00:28:53,555 --> 00:28:57,036 Honey, it's incredible. 415 00:28:57,996 --> 00:29:00,476 It's like... 416 00:29:00,476 --> 00:29:04,037 - ...Madame Bovary. - Name a real book! 417 00:29:04,037 --> 00:29:06,677 It's like Gone With The Wind. 418 00:29:06,677 --> 00:29:11,118 Like the movie? You mean, it's like a book that could win an Oscar? 419 00:29:11,118 --> 00:29:14,838 - Only filthier! - Irving! 420 00:29:26,159 --> 00:29:29,612 Mr. Hunter says to tell you that your manuscript 421 00:29:29,635 --> 00:29:32,558 is not what we're looking for right now. 422 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:37,001 - What?! - So, sweetheart, tell me, what are they looking for? 423 00:29:37,001 --> 00:29:38,921 Quality. 424 00:29:46,842 --> 00:29:50,082 Please understand, this isn't any fun for me. 425 00:29:50,082 --> 00:29:55,082 But the fact is, there really isn't a place for this sort of thing here at Putnam. 426 00:29:55,082 --> 00:29:58,083 Why not? I want a reason. 427 00:29:58,083 --> 00:30:01,443 We publish primarily classic literary fiction 428 00:30:01,443 --> 00:30:04,204 in the tradition of William Faulkner and Herman Melville. 429 00:30:04,204 --> 00:30:06,804 They're dead! They've stopped. 430 00:30:06,804 --> 00:30:09,685 You've gotta be kidding. This is a gold mine. 431 00:30:09,685 --> 00:30:13,445 - There might be some interest at another house. - Like which one? 432 00:30:13,445 --> 00:30:17,726 - Yours. - You fucking little snot-nosed Ivy-League putz! 433 00:30:17,726 --> 00:30:21,526 You're talking to a lady. 434 00:30:21,526 --> 00:30:24,446 Sweetheart, are you all right? 435 00:30:27,446 --> 00:30:32,247 I'm f-f-fine. I'm just upset. 436 00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:57,811 'We are delighted to present James Brown on this show.' 437 00:30:57,811 --> 00:31:02,290 'So, let's have a fine welcome to a very fine talent.' 438 00:31:12,332 --> 00:31:14,692 # Come here sister... # 439 00:31:14,692 --> 00:31:19,213 Irving. Irving. Come in. You gotta see this guy. 440 00:31:19,213 --> 00:31:20,773 # He ain't too hip # 441 00:31:20,773 --> 00:31:24,614 # About that new breed babe # 442 00:31:24,614 --> 00:31:27,574 # He ain't no drag # 443 00:31:27,574 --> 00:31:30,535 # Papa's got a brand new bag. # 444 00:31:30,655 --> 00:31:32,535 This guy's great! 445 00:31:32,535 --> 00:31:34,334 # Wow! I feel good! # 446 00:31:34,334 --> 00:31:37,295 # I knew that I would now # 447 00:31:37,295 --> 00:31:40,495 # I feel good... # 448 00:31:40,495 --> 00:31:42,815 Irving! 449 00:31:42,815 --> 00:31:44,176 # So good! # 450 00:31:44,176 --> 00:31:47,096 # So good! I got you! # 451 00:31:53,577 --> 00:31:56,137 # When I hold you in my arms... # 452 00:31:56,137 --> 00:31:59,498 This guy's gonna go far. I'm telling you. 453 00:31:59,498 --> 00:32:01,418 # When I hold you in my arms # 454 00:32:01,418 --> 00:32:04,099 # My love can't do me no harm... # 455 00:32:04,099 --> 00:32:07,699 I need to talk to you. 456 00:32:10,379 --> 00:32:15,259 Is it that guy from Viking? The shithead with the tweed vest and the bad teeth? 457 00:32:15,259 --> 00:32:19,260 - Like that proves he can read. - No, no. It wasn't about the book. 458 00:32:19,260 --> 00:32:22,700 It was... well... 459 00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:25,981 Is it about Guy? Oh, my God. 460 00:32:25,981 --> 00:32:29,021 - What's wrong? - No, he's fine. Tops. 461 00:32:32,982 --> 00:32:36,302 Is it the doctor? My doctor? 462 00:32:36,302 --> 00:32:39,343 About the tests? 463 00:32:43,583 --> 00:32:45,743 What...? What'd he say? 464 00:32:45,743 --> 00:32:50,504 - Baby, do you remember Greta Garbo in Camille? - Yeah. 465 00:32:50,504 --> 00:32:54,504 - She was so beautiful, even with all the coughing. - What are you talking about? 466 00:32:54,504 --> 00:32:59,065 Remember Bette Davis in Dark Victory? That was one of your favourites. 467 00:32:59,065 --> 00:33:02,105 Irving, what did the doctor say? 468 00:33:19,108 --> 00:33:22,587 - Do the warm-up. - Sit, sweetheart. 469 00:33:22,587 --> 00:33:25,068 Sit for mommy! 470 00:33:25,068 --> 00:33:30,068 You've got a lady waiting. She's got something to say, a bone to pick. 471 00:33:30,068 --> 00:33:33,709 - Come on. - I give you Miss Jacqueline Susann. 472 00:33:36,109 --> 00:33:39,110 - Fuck you! Don't interrupt me. - Jackie! 473 00:33:39,110 --> 00:33:43,110 All I ever wanted was to be somebody. 474 00:33:43,110 --> 00:33:48,111 And I was on my way. Vaudeville, Schiffli, radio. 475 00:33:48,111 --> 00:33:53,112 Then I have a baby, a gorgeous baby who screams every time I touch him. 476 00:33:53,112 --> 00:33:56,111 But that's OK. He's my baby. I love him. 477 00:33:56,111 --> 00:34:01,112 I want to make him proud, proud of his famous mother. So I write a book. 478 00:34:01,112 --> 00:34:06,713 - A wonderful book. - A fabulous book, a bestseller, which nobody fucking wants! 479 00:34:06,713 --> 00:34:10,713 But I'm working on it. I'm out there. I'm gonna show 'em all. 480 00:34:10,713 --> 00:34:13,714 And then, whoops, ding-dong. 481 00:34:13,714 --> 00:34:17,314 "Who's there? Why, it's cancer." 482 00:34:17,314 --> 00:34:22,635 - I get fucking goddamn breast cancer! - Excuse us, we're in a meeting. 483 00:34:22,635 --> 00:34:26,076 - Sorry. - Were you bored? 484 00:34:26,076 --> 00:34:30,395 Were you having a bad day? Did you just say, "Hey, Jackie Susann... 485 00:34:30,395 --> 00:34:34,356 - "...simply hasn't had enough shit lately?" - I have to agree. 486 00:34:34,356 --> 00:34:37,356 You owe me! 487 00:34:37,356 --> 00:34:41,717 Big time! So, cut the crap! No more bullshit. 488 00:34:41,717 --> 00:34:45,318 Here's the deal. I keep going. 489 00:34:45,318 --> 00:34:47,798 But you start helping! 490 00:34:47,798 --> 00:34:50,838 I can't do everything myself! 491 00:34:51,799 --> 00:34:55,799 Come on! Get on the phone! 492 00:34:55,799 --> 00:34:57,959 Now! 493 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,959 Make... me... famous! 494 00:35:36,124 --> 00:35:39,165 Morning, Stacey. Hi. 495 00:35:43,124 --> 00:35:46,605 - Morning. - What do you got for me? Anything? 496 00:35:46,605 --> 00:35:49,085 Oh, just these here. 497 00:35:49,085 --> 00:35:51,605 No, no and no. 498 00:35:52,566 --> 00:35:55,606 Morning. Hey, Lou. 499 00:36:03,807 --> 00:36:07,808 Hey, kids. Where's the fire? I love saying that. 500 00:36:07,808 --> 00:36:09,848 Henry, 501 00:36:09,848 --> 00:36:14,049 I forbid you to acquire this book. This is trash. This is... 502 00:36:14,049 --> 00:36:17,208 - ...illiterate garbage. - Don't be so prissy. 503 00:36:17,208 --> 00:36:19,929 It's unreadable! 504 00:36:19,929 --> 00:36:23,009 Valley of the Dolls sounds like a children's book. 505 00:36:23,009 --> 00:36:26,530 Henry, dolls are pills. Uppers, downers. 506 00:36:26,530 --> 00:36:28,530 A very cool children's book. 507 00:36:28,530 --> 00:36:31,850 It's salacious, perverted, soft-core porn. 508 00:36:31,850 --> 00:36:34,251 Can we put that on the cover? 509 00:36:34,251 --> 00:36:37,589 I think it's exciting and not just because it upsets Michael, 510 00:36:37,614 --> 00:36:40,012 - although that's a very good sign. - Excuse me? 511 00:36:40,012 --> 00:36:43,972 Henry, I am telling you, this book is on to something. 512 00:36:43,972 --> 00:36:47,693 - Something totally new. - I dig new. 513 00:36:47,693 --> 00:36:52,292 - The author can't write! - That's new. That's fresh. Nobody's done that. 514 00:36:52,292 --> 00:36:54,333 That's appalling. 515 00:36:54,333 --> 00:36:58,733 - Debbie, can you defend this sewage as literature? - Of course not. 516 00:36:58,733 --> 00:37:00,475 But I could not put it down. 517 00:37:00,499 --> 00:37:04,213 The woman who wrote this knows what she's talking about. 518 00:37:04,214 --> 00:37:09,655 It was like... overhearing a conversation in the ladies' room. 519 00:37:09,655 --> 00:37:16,336 It's like gossip. Chocolate-covered cherries. It's... it's sexy. 520 00:37:16,336 --> 00:37:18,797 You know it's bad for you but you can't stop. 521 00:37:18,821 --> 00:37:21,856 - It's chocolate covered crap! - I can come back. 522 00:37:21,857 --> 00:37:26,456 Oh, wait! Mrs. Ramirez. Darling. 523 00:37:26,456 --> 00:37:31,697 Would you read a book about the disgusting, desperate lives 524 00:37:31,697 --> 00:37:35,618 of drug-addicted sex-crazed movie stars? 525 00:37:35,618 --> 00:37:38,618 - Henry, she's the cleaning lady. - She knows trash. 526 00:37:38,618 --> 00:37:42,939 You mean, that thing on your desk, the Valley of the Pigs? 527 00:37:42,939 --> 00:37:45,219 - Dolls. - I read it last night... 528 00:37:45,219 --> 00:37:49,500 ...while I was vacuuming. Those women, in that book, they are animals! 529 00:37:49,500 --> 00:37:52,180 All they do is jump after men... 530 00:37:52,180 --> 00:37:55,781 ...and take those drugs and go straight to hell! 531 00:37:55,781 --> 00:38:00,581 If they were my daughters, I would kill them myself, with my bare hands. 532 00:38:00,581 --> 00:38:03,621 Thank you. So, you hated it. 533 00:38:03,621 --> 00:38:09,462 It is the finest book I have ever read. 534 00:38:10,462 --> 00:38:12,782 I'm buying it. 535 00:38:13,742 --> 00:38:17,743 Jackie, wait. I've got big news! 536 00:38:17,743 --> 00:38:21,344 - For Christ's sake. - She's going to surgery. - Just a minute. 537 00:38:21,344 --> 00:38:25,344 - I got something important to say. - Save it, till I'm out of here. 538 00:38:25,344 --> 00:38:29,745 Till I'm wearing something decent. I'll get one of those bathing suits. 539 00:38:29,745 --> 00:38:34,105 They have a bikini. You should see me in a bikini. You'd lose control. 540 00:38:34,105 --> 00:38:38,225 - Honey, you've gotta listen to me. We're in. They bit. - Who bit what? 541 00:38:38,225 --> 00:38:42,226 - Henry Marcus. The book. - Oh, God, Irving, stop joking. 542 00:38:42,226 --> 00:38:45,666 They've got an editor. They want you to meet with him. 543 00:38:45,666 --> 00:38:50,667 - Hold it. An editor? - As soon as you're feeling better. 544 00:38:50,667 --> 00:38:52,627 Did you tell them? 545 00:38:52,627 --> 00:38:56,468 I told them we'd be out of the country for awhile. I told them... 546 00:38:56,468 --> 00:38:59,468 ...you look great in a bikini. 547 00:38:59,468 --> 00:39:01,469 You did? 548 00:39:01,469 --> 00:39:05,109 Jackie, they said yes. Someone said yes. 549 00:39:18,150 --> 00:39:20,150 - Susann? - 9A. 550 00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:22,271 Thank you. 551 00:39:31,152 --> 00:39:34,192 Who the hell's that? Irving, get the door. 552 00:39:35,153 --> 00:39:37,153 Coming! 553 00:39:38,153 --> 00:39:43,954 - Yes? - I'm Michael Hastings, the editor from Henry Marcus. 554 00:39:43,954 --> 00:39:46,643 - I've an appointment with Miss Susann. - Mike! 555 00:39:46,667 --> 00:39:49,953 Jackie, it's Mike! Come on in. Take a load off. 556 00:39:49,954 --> 00:39:52,754 Well, welcome to the family! 557 00:39:52,754 --> 00:39:57,355 - I was ordering breakfast. What can I get you? - Breakfast? It's 11 A.M. 558 00:39:57,355 --> 00:40:00,955 - Early riser? - I'm supposed to get editing this manuscript. 559 00:40:00,955 --> 00:40:05,956 Oh, like a rooster. Nature boy. I'm back. Yeah. 560 00:40:05,956 --> 00:40:09,957 We'll need another breakfast platter, celery tonic, some lox. 561 00:40:09,957 --> 00:40:13,557 - Oh, you need lox. Protein. - Lox?! 562 00:40:13,557 --> 00:40:18,558 That's Josie. Josie, be nice. She'll help us with the editing. She's a smart dog. 563 00:40:18,558 --> 00:40:23,718 - What the hell's wrong with you? It's dawn, for crying out loud. - Miss Susann. 564 00:40:23,718 --> 00:40:27,424 I'm Michael Hastings, your editor. We have a lot of work to do. 565 00:40:27,448 --> 00:40:29,798 I have a great many comprehensive notes. 566 00:40:29,799 --> 00:40:35,159 - "Notes"? What do you mean, "notes"? - For changes. For your book. 567 00:40:35,159 --> 00:40:37,680 Changes? Like spelling? 568 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:43,561 Your manuscript at present is nigh onto incoherent. 569 00:40:43,561 --> 00:40:47,281 - And that's bad? - Yes. 570 00:40:47,281 --> 00:40:50,402 Well, Mr. Picky. Buster, you just hold on. 571 00:40:50,402 --> 00:40:55,601 - Where's she going? - Isn't she great? She's so excited. 572 00:40:55,601 --> 00:40:58,602 She's never been edited before. 573 00:40:58,602 --> 00:41:01,602 - Flo, you're back. - They fired me. 574 00:41:01,602 --> 00:41:05,603 - They fired you? - From goddamn Ozzie and Harriet. 575 00:41:05,603 --> 00:41:08,163 Who are you? FBI? 576 00:41:09,564 --> 00:41:12,044 - Flo, Michael. Michael, Flo. - Flo?! 577 00:41:12,044 --> 00:41:15,524 - Jackie! - So, you wanted changes? 578 00:41:15,524 --> 00:41:18,165 How's this for editing? 579 00:41:18,165 --> 00:41:21,045 - They fired me. - They fired ya? 580 00:41:21,045 --> 00:41:24,886 From Ozzie and Harriet. America's favourite wholesome TV family. 581 00:41:24,886 --> 00:41:26,366 - They're cocksuckers. - All of 'em. 582 00:41:26,366 --> 00:41:28,366 Ozzie? 583 00:41:28,366 --> 00:41:33,686 - This outfit's wrong. Too subtle. - Hi. 584 00:41:34,766 --> 00:41:38,767 I was playing Harriet's beloved Aunt Hilda. 585 00:41:38,767 --> 00:41:44,128 - A sweet simple midwestern farm woman come to visit. - Mr. Mansfield? 586 00:41:44,128 --> 00:41:47,208 Can you break a twenty? 587 00:41:47,208 --> 00:41:49,208 God, I would have been marvellous. 588 00:41:49,208 --> 00:41:54,569 I entered and said, "Harriet, darling, I'm here. I have brought farm fresh eggs." 589 00:41:54,569 --> 00:41:57,050 I'll get it. 590 00:41:57,050 --> 00:41:59,050 - Hey, Irv. - Sheila! 591 00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:04,051 - What did you want today? French manicure? What about the toes? - What about the toes? 592 00:42:04,051 --> 00:42:07,730 - Tell her to start with Josie. - Josie, come on, manicure! 593 00:42:07,730 --> 00:42:11,251 They want it a different way. I have no ego, you know. 594 00:42:11,251 --> 00:42:13,611 Let's take a look at you. 595 00:42:13,611 --> 00:42:17,132 - We have to begin. - She's very highstrung. 596 00:42:17,132 --> 00:42:20,132 - We have to begin. - Ozzie, he's staring at me. 597 00:42:20,132 --> 00:42:23,292 He said, "Could you be a little more wholesome?" 598 00:42:23,292 --> 00:42:26,333 "You're a simple farm woman, bringing fresh eggs." 599 00:42:26,333 --> 00:42:29,013 I said, "What do you want me to do? Lay them?!" 600 00:42:30,013 --> 00:42:33,014 So, do I look like an author? 601 00:42:33,014 --> 00:42:36,374 Miss Susann, it really doesn't matter what you wear. 602 00:42:36,374 --> 00:42:38,495 See, he's editing me. 603 00:42:40,974 --> 00:42:46,215 - This is unacceptable. - I know. Hang in there. Lox is on the way. 604 00:42:46,215 --> 00:42:49,375 And then, these two adorable teenagers come in. 605 00:42:49,375 --> 00:42:52,336 David and Ricky. 606 00:42:52,336 --> 00:42:55,336 Their little crew cuts and their dungarees. 607 00:42:55,336 --> 00:42:57,657 David wanted me. 608 00:42:57,657 --> 00:43:00,017 I could tell. 609 00:43:00,017 --> 00:43:02,497 - He was huge! - What?! 610 00:43:02,497 --> 00:43:06,178 - Match me? - Coming. Oh, boy. 611 00:43:06,178 --> 00:43:09,178 - Irv, breakfast time! - Claude, how are ya? 612 00:43:09,178 --> 00:43:13,979 You got cold cuts, bagels, coffee, lox, celery tonic and bran muffins. 613 00:43:13,979 --> 00:43:19,819 - You gotta have bran. Cleans you out. - And then Ozzie, he comes back in... 614 00:43:19,819 --> 00:43:25,820 ...and suddenly they're all lined up, all staring at me, the entire Nelson family... 615 00:43:25,820 --> 00:43:30,300 ...in their cardigans, and their rosy cheeks and gleaming white teeth. 616 00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:33,301 And I just gazed at them. And I said, 617 00:43:33,301 --> 00:43:37,502 "I am your wholesome Aunt Hilda and I have brought farm fresh eggs." 618 00:43:37,502 --> 00:43:39,782 "Heil Hitler!" 619 00:43:39,782 --> 00:43:41,862 - They fired you? - Well? 620 00:43:41,862 --> 00:43:44,583 - Better? - Wow. 621 00:43:44,583 --> 00:43:48,423 - Bestselling? - That's the one. That's the one. 622 00:43:48,423 --> 00:43:50,604 Mr. Mansfield? We have a deadline. 623 00:43:50,629 --> 00:43:53,943 We need to work in an atmosphere of absolute quiet. 624 00:43:53,943 --> 00:43:57,503 I couldn't agree more. And I know just the spot. 625 00:43:57,503 --> 00:44:02,104 - If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the talcum powder. - Herbie! 626 00:44:02,104 --> 00:44:05,105 You got hungry? Yeah. Lover boy! Sweetheart. 627 00:44:05,105 --> 00:44:08,105 - Who's this? - My editor. I take him everywhere. 628 00:44:08,105 --> 00:44:11,105 Two adults. And one gentile. 629 00:44:11,105 --> 00:44:14,146 - Jackie! - Irving, you son of a gun! 630 00:44:17,106 --> 00:44:21,107 - Jackie! You look gorgeous! - Sylvia! You look different! 631 00:44:21,107 --> 00:44:24,107 - Hey, vice squad! - Great sports jacket. 632 00:44:24,107 --> 00:44:27,952 It's a Fabiani, hand stitched, hand rolled, virgin alpaca. 633 00:44:27,977 --> 00:44:29,906 And it's gonna stay that way. 634 00:44:29,907 --> 00:44:32,908 - I'm starving! I could eat a horse. - You probably will. 635 00:44:32,908 --> 00:44:36,508 - So, what specials? - It's all special, sweetheart. 636 00:44:36,508 --> 00:44:38,509 Thank you. 637 00:44:38,509 --> 00:44:42,309 - Miss Susann, Mr. Mansfield. - Jackie. And Irving. 638 00:44:42,309 --> 00:44:46,790 This is not exactly the kind of working atmosphere I had in mind. 639 00:44:46,790 --> 00:44:49,470 Look at him. Look at you. 640 00:44:49,470 --> 00:44:54,111 - What? - Just tell me. What do you call that thing you're wearing? 641 00:44:54,111 --> 00:44:57,951 It's a navy blue suit. It's from Brooks Brothers. 642 00:44:57,951 --> 00:45:01,591 - Brooks Brothers? - It's an American classic. 643 00:45:01,591 --> 00:45:03,343 It's a shroud. I can't look. 644 00:45:03,368 --> 00:45:06,912 It's hurting my creative juices. I'm having a blockage. 645 00:45:06,912 --> 00:45:09,872 - Irving, quick. Give him your jacket. - What? 646 00:45:09,872 --> 00:45:11,251 - What?! - People are staring. 647 00:45:11,276 --> 00:45:14,913 They're saying, "What are Irving and Jackie doing with this stiff?" 648 00:45:14,913 --> 00:45:18,473 They think it's a tax audit. Give him your jacket. 649 00:45:18,473 --> 00:45:20,634 - Jackie. - Please! 650 00:45:20,634 --> 00:45:23,434 I am absolutely not going to wear Irving's jacket. 651 00:45:29,715 --> 00:45:32,196 Thank God! 652 00:45:32,196 --> 00:45:34,676 Now I can breathe again. I'm open. 653 00:45:34,676 --> 00:45:37,675 Darling, if you're happy, I'm happy. 654 00:45:37,675 --> 00:45:40,156 Brisket for the beautiful lady. 655 00:45:40,156 --> 00:45:42,676 Veal for the gent. Thanks, Max. 656 00:45:43,636 --> 00:45:46,117 And one American cheese sandwich. 657 00:45:46,117 --> 00:45:50,477 - Thank you. Do you have any mayonnaise? - Mayonnaise? 658 00:45:50,477 --> 00:45:52,598 Hellman's. 659 00:45:54,238 --> 00:45:56,318 Don't get anything on it. 660 00:45:56,318 --> 00:45:58,838 No gestures. 661 00:46:01,919 --> 00:46:07,040 Cheese sandwich. Where were you raised? In a fucking igloo? 662 00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:09,480 Miss Susann? Mr. Mansfield? 663 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,719 - It's Jackie. - And Irving. 664 00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:16,840 Your manuscript requires an overwhelming amount of work. 665 00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:21,361 - I agree. Like worldwide advertising. - We've got lots of ideas, a campaign. 666 00:46:21,361 --> 00:46:23,720 The dust jacket's gonna be my picture. 667 00:46:23,745 --> 00:46:26,441 I can do this look. Or this. How about this? 668 00:46:26,442 --> 00:46:28,331 Do the other one. That's my girl. 669 00:46:28,356 --> 00:46:31,441 What about the first printing? I say one million, easy. 670 00:46:31,442 --> 00:46:34,523 I love radio. But TV, that's where they'll eat me up. 671 00:46:34,523 --> 00:46:39,203 We want all the morning shows and Carson. How about a limo? 672 00:46:39,203 --> 00:46:44,204 We could use our own car. Do you pay for gas, tolls? 673 00:46:44,204 --> 00:46:47,884 Excuse me! Pardon me! You are a first-time novelist! 674 00:46:47,884 --> 00:46:51,284 With a book which remains virtually unreadable! 675 00:46:51,284 --> 00:46:54,965 I have been assigned to edit this miasma! 676 00:46:54,965 --> 00:46:58,925 When I arrive I'm treated to a variety night circus with a dog act, 677 00:46:58,925 --> 00:47:02,726 and then this delicatessen smooze fest! 678 00:47:04,686 --> 00:47:08,727 If this book is to be published at all, we need a place to work. 679 00:47:08,727 --> 00:47:11,247 Am I understood? 680 00:47:14,208 --> 00:47:17,448 - "Miasma"? - Florida? 681 00:47:30,809 --> 00:47:33,289 This is some schlep. 682 00:47:33,289 --> 00:47:36,290 Where are you taking us, Iowa? 683 00:47:36,290 --> 00:47:39,290 - It's Connecticut. - Connecticut? 684 00:47:39,290 --> 00:47:42,811 - This is Connecticut? - Nice, if you're a cow. 685 00:47:48,772 --> 00:47:51,772 So, who lives here? Thomas Jefferson? 686 00:47:51,772 --> 00:47:54,893 - My family. - They got slaves? 687 00:47:56,692 --> 00:48:00,813 - Who's that? - That is my mother. 688 00:48:02,733 --> 00:48:05,253 She gave birth? 689 00:48:06,893 --> 00:48:09,374 - Mother. - Hello, dear. 690 00:48:09,374 --> 00:48:12,055 Thank you so much for letting us use the house. 691 00:48:12,079 --> 00:48:15,294 - I promise you, you won't even know we're here. - Of course. 692 00:48:15,295 --> 00:48:19,295 - Mother, this is Irving Mansfield. - Some spread. You did good. 693 00:48:19,295 --> 00:48:22,896 - Do you rent? - And this is Jacqueline Susann. 694 00:48:22,896 --> 00:48:26,336 - Pleased to meet you. - Hello. What's your name, darling? 695 00:48:26,336 --> 00:48:31,256 My given name is Alicia Carlisle Pewter but everyone calls me Lissy. 696 00:48:31,256 --> 00:48:33,616 No. Come on. 697 00:48:33,616 --> 00:48:36,337 - Come on, really. - Really. 698 00:48:39,217 --> 00:48:42,218 And this is our guest room. 699 00:48:42,218 --> 00:48:45,218 I do hope you'll be comfortable. 700 00:48:45,218 --> 00:48:47,739 Oh, it's... it's nice. 701 00:48:47,739 --> 00:48:50,259 It's very... clean. 702 00:48:50,259 --> 00:48:55,820 I love the proportions. The light. You could do a lot with this room. 703 00:48:55,820 --> 00:48:58,660 - We have. - Josie. 704 00:49:07,220 --> 00:49:09,701 Good luck. Keep it dirty. 705 00:49:09,701 --> 00:49:12,701 Bye, sweetheart. Pee for mommy. 706 00:49:12,701 --> 00:49:15,702 - Jackie! - I was talking to Irving. 707 00:49:15,702 --> 00:49:18,182 It's a joke. 708 00:49:18,182 --> 00:49:21,182 Of course. Well. All right. 709 00:49:21,182 --> 00:49:24,903 Finally, we can begin our task. Let's get going. 710 00:49:24,903 --> 00:49:27,903 Let's start with the first paragraph. 711 00:49:27,903 --> 00:49:30,544 - First paragraph? - Second sentence. 712 00:49:30,544 --> 00:49:35,065 This phrase, "New York was steaming. An angry, concrete animal." 713 00:49:35,065 --> 00:49:38,665 - Don't you love that? - No, it doesn't make any sense. 714 00:49:38,665 --> 00:49:41,304 - What is an angry concrete animal? - New York. 715 00:49:41,304 --> 00:49:44,105 - New York's a city. - Not in the summer. 716 00:49:44,105 --> 00:49:48,105 I remember when I first came to town, I was just a kid but oh, my God, 717 00:49:48,105 --> 00:49:52,706 it hit me: the noise, buildings, the crowds. I'll set the scene for ya. 718 00:49:52,706 --> 00:49:58,387 There's a garbage strike. So, it stinks. There's a subway strike. 719 00:49:58,387 --> 00:50:02,868 You can't get to work. Construction everywhere. Jackhammers... 720 00:50:02,868 --> 00:50:06,148 - It's chippendale! - ...are driving people to the brink of madness. 721 00:50:06,148 --> 00:50:10,549 It's so hot, the sidewalks are buckling, rising up like Godzilla. 722 00:50:10,549 --> 00:50:12,493 So the town is sweaty and ferocious. 723 00:50:12,518 --> 00:50:15,949 It's like, "Watch out! Let me through! Out of my way, you moron! 724 00:50:15,949 --> 00:50:20,629 "Move it! Out of my way, I'm an angry, concrete animal!" Get it? 725 00:50:20,629 --> 00:50:22,830 But it's an absurd phrase. 726 00:50:22,830 --> 00:50:25,590 - It's poetry. - It's terrible writing. 727 00:50:25,590 --> 00:50:28,991 - That's what poetry is. - Jackie. - Next. 728 00:50:32,031 --> 00:50:36,512 All right, this section, where Neely O'Hara's a big star. 729 00:50:36,512 --> 00:50:40,832 - She comes home to find her husband... - Ted Casablanca. - Yeah. 730 00:50:40,832 --> 00:50:45,833 And he's in her Beverly Hills pool with another younger starlet. 731 00:50:45,833 --> 00:50:48,833 - In her pool that she paid for. - Yeah. 732 00:50:48,833 --> 00:50:53,833 Ted says he had to look elsewhere for sex 'cause Neely's always so tired. 733 00:50:53,833 --> 00:50:57,834 Because she's working on a picture! So she's always doped up. 734 00:50:57,834 --> 00:51:00,394 - That's real life. - Here's my problem. 735 00:51:00,394 --> 00:51:03,122 She says, "You're nuts. I catch you red-handed 736 00:51:03,147 --> 00:51:06,475 and you stand there with your dingle blowing in the breeze 737 00:51:06,475 --> 00:51:09,516 with a naked broad and you sermonise with me." 738 00:51:09,516 --> 00:51:12,676 - Isn't that great? Can you picture it? - It's so coarse! 739 00:51:12,676 --> 00:51:14,789 "Dingle blowing in the breeze"? 740 00:51:14,814 --> 00:51:18,196 Neely's an ex-chorus girl. That's how she talks. 741 00:51:18,197 --> 00:51:20,957 - But... dingle? - Yeah. 742 00:51:20,957 --> 00:51:23,958 - Dingle, dingle, dingle. - Stop that. 743 00:51:23,958 --> 00:51:26,757 - Haven't you got one? - No, I do not have a dingle. 744 00:51:26,757 --> 00:51:30,518 What do they call it around here, a butter churn? 745 00:51:32,478 --> 00:51:34,558 Next. 746 00:51:34,558 --> 00:51:39,079 Let's discuss Jennifer. She's 17. She's blonde. 747 00:51:39,079 --> 00:51:43,080 - She's stunning. - You love her? It's all about the tits. - Yes. 748 00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:46,870 After boarding school she runs off with Maria, the Spanish heiress. 749 00:51:46,895 --> 00:51:48,679 Right, the dyke. Ooh, radishes? 750 00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:52,281 - And they do nothing but have wild lesbian sex. - They're young. 751 00:51:52,281 --> 00:51:56,642 - You can't say that. - Why not? - Mimsy. 752 00:51:56,642 --> 00:52:00,642 Mimsy? Is that a code? 753 00:52:00,642 --> 00:52:05,642 Jackie, this is my grandmother, Mimsy. And my Great Aunt Abigail. 754 00:52:05,642 --> 00:52:07,802 - Are you the author? - Yes, hello. 755 00:52:07,802 --> 00:52:11,963 - We're in the middle of editing. - One sec. Let me ask you something. 756 00:52:11,963 --> 00:52:17,004 When you were in high school, did some of the girls get crushes on the other girls? 757 00:52:17,004 --> 00:52:20,004 Let me see. At Miss Porter's? 758 00:52:20,004 --> 00:52:22,804 Of course they didn't! You can't put that in a book. 759 00:52:23,805 --> 00:52:26,085 I remember Emily Winthrop. 760 00:52:26,085 --> 00:52:28,565 - Oh, yes. - Oh, Emily Winthrop. 761 00:52:28,565 --> 00:52:32,966 She was a year behind me. She was lovely. 762 00:52:32,966 --> 00:52:37,566 Tall, high breasted. What a collar bone. 763 00:52:37,566 --> 00:52:40,566 - And you liked her. - Very much. 764 00:52:40,566 --> 00:52:44,967 You can tell me everything. 765 00:52:47,047 --> 00:52:49,527 Oh, no! We're gonna be late! 766 00:52:49,527 --> 00:52:54,528 Bye, kids. And what do we tell Mom and Dad we want for Christmas? 767 00:52:54,528 --> 00:52:57,009 Valley of the Dolls. 768 00:52:57,009 --> 00:53:00,489 It's better than milk. 769 00:53:00,489 --> 00:53:03,489 I don't understand. Yes. 770 00:53:03,489 --> 00:53:06,490 Tony Polar. Tony Po... 771 00:53:06,490 --> 00:53:08,490 Ton... Adele! 772 00:53:08,490 --> 00:53:10,491 Adele! 773 00:53:10,491 --> 00:53:12,530 Thank you. 774 00:53:14,490 --> 00:53:17,491 So, Tony Polar is a rich successful singer. 775 00:53:17,491 --> 00:53:21,091 - But you say he has a dark secret. - The darkest. 776 00:53:21,091 --> 00:53:23,869 He had scarlet fever as a baby and ever since then 777 00:53:23,895 --> 00:53:26,812 he's had the mental abilities of a 7 year old. 778 00:53:26,812 --> 00:53:29,252 And no one notices? 779 00:53:29,252 --> 00:53:31,693 That's right. 780 00:53:31,693 --> 00:53:35,222 Are you saying that if a man is sexy and good in bed, 781 00:53:35,247 --> 00:53:38,198 no woman is going to care that he's an idiot? 782 00:53:40,134 --> 00:53:42,614 I certainly wouldn't. 783 00:53:42,614 --> 00:53:45,295 Absolutely not. 784 00:53:45,295 --> 00:53:47,854 Grow up. 785 00:53:47,854 --> 00:53:50,574 Michael? 786 00:53:50,574 --> 00:53:53,055 Father? 787 00:53:53,055 --> 00:53:56,055 I've just finished this manuscript. 788 00:53:56,055 --> 00:54:02,736 This immoral, brazen journey into the unspeakable hell of modern show business. 789 00:54:02,736 --> 00:54:04,977 And? 790 00:54:04,977 --> 00:54:08,697 I am Lyon Burke. 791 00:54:08,697 --> 00:54:11,378 Baby! 792 00:54:23,178 --> 00:54:26,699 Jackie? Irving has the car... 793 00:54:31,259 --> 00:54:33,780 Oh! 794 00:54:45,102 --> 00:54:47,663 - What are you doing? - Getting the luggage. 795 00:54:47,688 --> 00:54:49,662 Irving's got the car out front. 796 00:54:49,662 --> 00:54:52,183 Irving can get the luggage. 797 00:54:53,143 --> 00:54:56,143 All those pills, Jackie. I mean, they... 798 00:54:56,143 --> 00:55:00,423 They're for Irving. He has a vitamin deficiency. He needs niacin and B12. 799 00:55:00,423 --> 00:55:03,703 - They weren't vitamins. - Oh, for Christ's sake! 800 00:55:03,703 --> 00:55:07,526 Do I go through your room and ask you a lot of stupid questions? 801 00:55:07,551 --> 00:55:09,584 Who the hell do you think you are? 802 00:55:09,584 --> 00:55:13,145 - Jackie, I didn't know you were sick. - I'm not sick. 803 00:55:13,145 --> 00:55:15,665 I'm not sick! 804 00:55:16,625 --> 00:55:20,626 Sick people are losers. Sick people get nothing! 805 00:55:20,626 --> 00:55:26,307 Do you think that anybody's gonna buy a sexy book written by someone with cancer? 806 00:55:26,307 --> 00:55:31,267 That's not the point. That's the only point. Are you my friend? 807 00:55:31,267 --> 00:55:33,667 Your friend? 808 00:55:33,667 --> 00:55:37,867 You're a tight ass and you're a smart cookie, but are you my friend? 809 00:55:37,867 --> 00:55:40,788 I've never met anyone like you. 810 00:55:40,788 --> 00:55:43,508 That's not an answer! 811 00:55:43,508 --> 00:55:46,109 Let me explain to you. 812 00:55:46,109 --> 00:55:48,709 Friends help each other. 813 00:55:48,709 --> 00:55:53,710 And friends... don't tell. Get it? 814 00:55:55,670 --> 00:55:57,710 OK. 815 00:56:01,671 --> 00:56:04,151 Is there a secret handshake? 816 00:56:04,151 --> 00:56:07,231 Mikey, you made a joke. 817 00:56:07,231 --> 00:56:10,151 - I did? - Yeah. 818 00:56:10,151 --> 00:56:13,926 Well, it wasn't a great joke, but it's a start. 819 00:56:13,951 --> 00:56:16,632 You are my friend. You are my friend. 820 00:56:19,112 --> 00:56:22,873 - We're coming! We're having sex! - Good. Take your time. 821 00:56:22,873 --> 00:56:25,393 Jackie... 822 00:56:26,354 --> 00:56:28,834 I'm trusting you with my life here. 823 00:56:28,834 --> 00:56:31,354 I know. 824 00:56:32,314 --> 00:56:34,835 Thank you. 825 00:56:51,276 --> 00:56:55,277 You look great. Doesn't he look great? 826 00:56:55,277 --> 00:57:00,278 Oh, he looks wonderful. So handsome, like a Greek god. 827 00:57:00,278 --> 00:57:05,278 Guess what? Your mom's book, it's gonna be a sensation. 828 00:57:05,278 --> 00:57:07,799 I'm gonna make you so proud. 829 00:57:28,281 --> 00:57:32,321 He seemed better. Did he seem better to you? 830 00:57:32,321 --> 00:57:34,282 Yes. He looks good. 831 00:57:37,242 --> 00:57:40,243 They take good care of him. 832 00:57:40,243 --> 00:57:42,603 I should hope so. 833 00:57:42,603 --> 00:57:46,804 Irving, you can't put a price on this. You're right. 834 00:57:46,804 --> 00:57:49,324 He deserves the best. 835 00:57:50,284 --> 00:57:53,323 That's why this book has got to be gigantic. 836 00:58:06,805 --> 00:58:09,671 'Valley of the Dolls came rolling off the presses...' 837 00:58:09,696 --> 00:58:11,806 '...and Jackie took the country by storm.' 838 00:58:11,806 --> 00:58:16,407 - 'She invented a whole new way of selling books.' - Hello, boys! 839 00:58:18,407 --> 00:58:22,208 - I'm Jackie Susann. I wrote a book. - Valley of the Dolls. 840 00:58:22,208 --> 00:58:26,081 Right now, you guys are loading that book onto those great big trucks. 841 00:58:26,106 --> 00:58:28,207 I just want you to know, I'm grateful. 842 00:58:28,208 --> 00:58:31,208 - We've got hot coffee. - And doughnuts. - And tea. 843 00:58:31,208 --> 00:58:34,789 So if when you deliver these, you say something to everybody 844 00:58:34,814 --> 00:58:37,328 about this lovely lady, we'd appreciate it. 845 00:58:37,329 --> 00:58:41,930 Because my book is about the sexiest, biggest hung guys in the universe. 846 00:58:41,930 --> 00:58:44,410 Who? 847 00:58:44,410 --> 00:58:47,130 - Teamsters. - Yeah! 848 00:58:51,571 --> 00:58:54,572 No matter where she was, she never stopped selling. 849 00:58:54,572 --> 00:58:57,052 Thar she blows. 850 00:58:57,052 --> 00:58:59,532 Yikes. 851 00:58:59,532 --> 00:59:03,532 - Are you ready? - No, hold on a second. Read this. 852 00:59:03,532 --> 00:59:07,572 - Thank you. - In the cafeteria. 853 00:59:23,295 --> 00:59:25,895 # I'm driving and I'm dreaming 854 00:59:25,895 --> 00:59:27,936 # And I'm on my way 855 00:59:28,896 --> 00:59:31,936 # As I go through life... # 856 00:59:32,896 --> 00:59:35,995 'We didn't know much about books, but we knew show business.' 857 00:59:36,020 --> 00:59:38,816 'If you want a hit, hit the road. And do your homework.' 858 00:59:38,816 --> 00:59:40,816 Stroudsburg. Go. 859 00:59:40,816 --> 00:59:43,297 Gladrey's Book Nook, Harry and Irma. 860 00:59:43,297 --> 00:59:46,817 - When's Irma's birthday? - Today. 861 00:59:46,817 --> 00:59:49,898 - You're cooking, baby. - What else? 862 00:59:51,898 --> 00:59:54,338 # My dream is out there 863 00:59:56,299 --> 01:00:01,299 # Never gonna stop till that dream is mine... # 864 01:00:01,299 --> 01:00:04,300 - Mr. Gladrey? I'm Irv Mansfield. - Yes? Who? 865 01:00:04,300 --> 01:00:07,896 And there's someone very new and exciting I'd like you to meet. 866 01:00:07,921 --> 01:00:09,300 Get ready for lightning. 867 01:00:09,301 --> 01:00:14,300 Get ready for love. Get ready for Miss Jacqueline Susann! 868 01:00:14,300 --> 01:00:18,661 - Harry! How are ya? - Do I... do I know you? 869 01:00:18,661 --> 01:00:23,142 - You do now. I've written a book you'll love. - Valley of the Dolls. 870 01:00:23,142 --> 01:00:27,742 - When I decided to publish, the first thing I told my publisher... - Henry Marcus. 871 01:00:27,742 --> 01:00:30,823 ...was Gladrey's Book Nook, Stroudsburg, PA. 872 01:00:30,823 --> 01:00:33,623 Harry, who are these people? 873 01:00:33,623 --> 01:00:36,504 - Irma! - Darling, you look great. 874 01:00:36,504 --> 01:00:40,504 - How do you know my name? - Everybody knows Irma Gladrey. 875 01:00:40,504 --> 01:00:43,905 # Happy birthday to you # 876 01:00:43,905 --> 01:00:48,064 # Happy birthday to you... # 877 01:00:48,064 --> 01:00:51,465 Good morning. Have you got Jackie Susann? 878 01:00:51,465 --> 01:00:53,865 - Who? - Well, you do now. 879 01:00:53,865 --> 01:00:57,226 - Lester! Baby! - That's Lester. 880 01:00:57,226 --> 01:00:59,226 Dick! Sweetheart! 881 01:00:59,226 --> 01:01:03,227 # Somewhere in the world there's a place for me # 882 01:01:06,067 --> 01:01:10,068 # Somewhere I will find me a new life... # 883 01:01:17,309 --> 01:01:19,629 Sisters! 884 01:01:19,629 --> 01:01:23,189 God love you. 885 01:01:23,189 --> 01:01:27,029 If you love the Old Testament, you'll love Valley of the Dolls. 886 01:01:38,311 --> 01:01:42,351 # And I'm on my way... # 887 01:01:45,912 --> 01:01:47,912 Henry? 888 01:01:47,912 --> 01:01:53,113 - They're in Montana. - So? - There are no book stores in Montana. 889 01:01:53,113 --> 01:01:55,953 It's not a book anymore. It's a bestseller. 890 01:02:04,354 --> 01:02:08,354 Today was pure sunshine in Boise. What will tomorrow bring? 891 01:02:08,354 --> 01:02:12,355 Let's ask our celebrity weathergirl, novelist Jacqueline Susann. 892 01:02:12,355 --> 01:02:14,955 Well, Earl, bad news. 893 01:02:14,955 --> 01:02:19,436 It looks like rain, from the border right on down to Sun Valley... 894 01:02:19,436 --> 01:02:21,716 of the Dolls. 895 01:02:21,716 --> 01:02:25,117 First, we begin by whisking our eggs. 896 01:02:25,117 --> 01:02:26,940 Next, we grease our skillet. 897 01:02:26,965 --> 01:02:30,718 Jackie, which do you prefer, margarine or vegetable oil? 898 01:02:30,718 --> 01:02:32,957 I don't know. I order out. 899 01:02:32,957 --> 01:02:35,517 - You order out breakfast? - You bet. 900 01:02:35,517 --> 01:02:37,598 Any woman who cooks is a fool. 901 01:02:37,598 --> 01:02:39,118 Don't cook. 902 01:02:39,118 --> 01:02:41,558 Read. 903 01:02:41,558 --> 01:02:46,919 'She was on her way, to the biggest of the big. To Johnny.' 904 01:02:46,919 --> 01:02:48,959 Jacqueline Susann. 905 01:02:57,281 --> 01:02:59,761 Doesn't she look great? 906 01:02:59,761 --> 01:03:02,761 What's your name again, Ken? 907 01:03:02,761 --> 01:03:05,762 Jim. Jim Morrison. 908 01:03:05,762 --> 01:03:08,321 Oh, a pleasure. Irving Mansfield. 909 01:03:08,321 --> 01:03:10,922 Everyone's saying my book's dirty. 910 01:03:10,922 --> 01:03:15,522 But I wonder, have they ever watched soap operas? 911 01:03:15,522 --> 01:03:19,083 Have they ever seen what housewives watch all day long? 912 01:03:21,843 --> 01:03:24,056 When you're washing floors everyday, 913 01:03:24,081 --> 01:03:27,404 you need a little something in your life to keep going. 914 01:03:27,404 --> 01:03:30,965 - Isn't she great? - Yeah, she's happening. 915 01:03:30,965 --> 01:03:35,725 'Jackie was getting big, really big. You could tell by her enemies.' 916 01:03:35,725 --> 01:03:40,326 My guest is the flamboyant and often controversial author, Truman Capote, 917 01:03:40,326 --> 01:03:44,826 whose latest book, In Cold Blood, has created an international sensation. 918 01:03:44,851 --> 01:03:46,326 Good to see you again. 919 01:03:46,326 --> 01:03:49,286 Thank you. It's always a pleasure to be here. 920 01:03:49,286 --> 01:03:51,887 Honey! Hurry up! You're gonna miss it. 921 01:03:51,887 --> 01:03:54,440 'How do you feel about the competition?' 922 01:03:54,465 --> 01:03:57,888 'What about bestseller lists? How about Jackie Susann?' 923 01:03:57,888 --> 01:04:03,248 'Jackie Susann, please. That's not writing, that's typing.' 924 01:04:03,248 --> 01:04:08,129 - How can he say that? - She's a virtual illiterate. - Nasty. 925 01:04:08,129 --> 01:04:13,650 Have you ever seen her in those sleazy gowns with all that hair? 926 01:04:13,650 --> 01:04:17,609 She looks like a truck driver in drag. 927 01:04:17,609 --> 01:04:21,690 'But no-one could stop her. We were number one.' 928 01:04:27,211 --> 01:04:31,212 'I really wanna surprise her at the party. Something big time.' 929 01:04:31,212 --> 01:04:34,212 Don't worry. We'll find something. It's here. 930 01:04:34,212 --> 01:04:36,692 What do you think she'd like? 931 01:04:36,692 --> 01:04:40,053 - Flo? What is it, a valve? - Oh, my God. Pearls. 932 01:04:40,053 --> 01:04:44,814 - Black and white pearls. - Pearls for Jackie? 933 01:04:44,814 --> 01:04:47,714 Irving, if a man bought me those pearls, 934 01:04:47,739 --> 01:04:51,535 not only would I have sex with him, I would enjoy it. 935 01:04:51,535 --> 01:04:54,214 The pearls, aren't they superb? 936 01:04:55,174 --> 01:04:57,134 A bit expensive. 937 01:04:57,134 --> 01:05:02,135 Come on. Buy them. It's her money. 938 01:05:02,135 --> 01:05:05,296 I don't know. Maybe a brooch. 939 01:05:05,296 --> 01:05:07,536 My treat. 940 01:05:09,496 --> 01:05:11,576 Yeah. 941 01:05:41,900 --> 01:05:44,900 Hey, can we help you? 942 01:05:44,900 --> 01:05:47,381 I'm fine. I'll be right there. 943 01:05:47,381 --> 01:05:49,861 What an evening. 944 01:05:49,861 --> 01:05:54,342 The Waldorf Astoria, the grand ballroom, for a book. 945 01:05:54,342 --> 01:05:58,062 The guest list is unbelievable. Everyone said yes. 946 01:05:58,062 --> 01:06:01,383 Where is she? Everyone's waiting. 947 01:06:01,383 --> 01:06:03,902 Jacqueline. 948 01:06:24,105 --> 01:06:28,466 Jackie! That dress, 949 01:06:28,466 --> 01:06:30,466 that outfit! 950 01:06:30,466 --> 01:06:34,947 - Is it too much? Is it over the top? - Not one little bit. 951 01:06:34,947 --> 01:06:38,506 You don't think it's too vulgar, too trashy? 952 01:06:38,506 --> 01:06:41,307 Too... Jackie Susann? 953 01:06:41,307 --> 01:06:43,427 It's absolutely perfect. 954 01:06:43,427 --> 01:06:46,068 Then maybe I should change. 955 01:06:46,068 --> 01:06:50,108 Everything's set. Triple checked, all systems... go. 956 01:06:50,108 --> 01:06:55,069 Wow. You look so famous. 957 01:06:55,069 --> 01:06:59,189 - Come on. Jesus Christ, you have to get dressed. - I am dressed! 958 01:06:59,189 --> 01:07:01,670 She looks fabulous. 959 01:07:01,670 --> 01:07:06,030 But that frock, it's so shy, so reclusive. It needs something... 960 01:07:06,030 --> 01:07:08,511 Let me think. 961 01:07:08,511 --> 01:07:10,751 Jackie, something "Valley". I don't know. 962 01:07:10,751 --> 01:07:14,511 Maybe... Oh, yes. 963 01:07:14,511 --> 01:07:19,311 - This. - Oh, my God! Is it real? 964 01:07:19,311 --> 01:07:24,872 - I must be making you a fortune! - For the woman, who as of Sunday, 965 01:07:24,872 --> 01:07:28,713 remains the number one bestselling author in America. 966 01:07:30,713 --> 01:07:34,834 Thank you, Henry. Thank you. Irving, look at this! Can you believe it? 967 01:07:34,834 --> 01:07:39,834 You deserve it. Every stone, every carat. We'll have it appraised. 968 01:07:39,834 --> 01:07:44,235 So tell me, did Hemingway ever get one of these? He'd be alive today. 969 01:07:44,235 --> 01:07:47,236 Come on, pussycats, we have to go. 970 01:07:47,236 --> 01:07:51,035 - What a night this is gonna be. - It's gonna be a blast. 971 01:07:51,035 --> 01:07:53,796 Where is the elevator? 972 01:08:07,598 --> 01:08:11,918 Thank you, thank you. I'm Henry Marcus. No, that's not it. 973 01:08:11,918 --> 01:08:15,919 I'm Jackie Susann's publisher. 974 01:08:15,919 --> 01:08:18,959 A few months ago, Jackie was a young girl with a dream. 975 01:08:18,959 --> 01:08:23,959 Now from what I read, she's an even younger girl with a bestseller. No! 976 01:08:23,959 --> 01:08:26,679 Make that the bestseller, 977 01:08:26,679 --> 01:08:30,480 because as of this week, Valley of the Dolls has racked on the list 978 01:08:30,480 --> 01:08:34,281 for 28 weeks, making it, that's right, 979 01:08:34,281 --> 01:08:37,801 the bestselling novel of all time. 980 01:08:48,403 --> 01:08:52,763 So, up yours, Tolstoy. Ha! 981 01:08:52,763 --> 01:08:56,244 I say that with all sincerity. But, 982 01:08:56,244 --> 01:09:01,524 hey, please help me welcome a great writer, a record breaker, 983 01:09:01,524 --> 01:09:05,324 and one very happening chick. Ladies and gentlemen, 984 01:09:05,324 --> 01:09:08,565 I give you the champ, Miss Jacqueline Susann! 985 01:09:20,886 --> 01:09:23,327 Thank you. Thank you. 986 01:09:23,327 --> 01:09:25,807 Thank you. Thank you, all. 987 01:09:25,807 --> 01:09:30,528 This is the most exciting night of my life. This room, all of you. 988 01:09:30,528 --> 01:09:33,927 This is what I have waited for my whole life. 989 01:09:33,927 --> 01:09:39,528 And I just have to tell anybody out there who feels like they're nobody, listen. 990 01:09:39,528 --> 01:09:44,129 If they tell you you have no talent, that it's never gonna happen for you, 991 01:09:44,129 --> 01:09:47,489 that you're some loud, crude, pushy little nothing 992 01:09:47,489 --> 01:09:50,084 in a tight dress and too much make-up, 993 01:09:50,109 --> 01:09:53,410 tell them, "Hey! Just look at Jacqueline Susann!" 994 01:09:58,400 --> 01:10:01,812 Number one! 995 01:10:07,811 --> 01:10:11,812 - Where's Irving? - I don't know. I haven't seen him. 996 01:10:11,812 --> 01:10:15,413 We have a special surprise for a real numero uno. 997 01:10:15,413 --> 01:10:18,813 We have a pair of numero unos to serenade you. 998 01:10:18,813 --> 01:10:23,454 Jackie, may I present Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme! 999 01:10:30,935 --> 01:10:33,855 - # You're walking along the street # - Can you believe this? 1000 01:10:33,855 --> 01:10:36,416 - # You're at a party # - Thank you. 1001 01:10:36,416 --> 01:10:40,216 # Or else you're alone and then you suddenly dig # 1002 01:10:40,216 --> 01:10:42,816 # You're looking in someone's eyes # 1003 01:10:42,816 --> 01:10:44,816 # You suddenly realize # 1004 01:10:44,816 --> 01:10:48,416 # That this could be the start of something big # 1005 01:10:48,416 --> 01:10:51,257 # You're lunching at 21 # 1006 01:10:51,257 --> 01:10:54,257 # And watching your diet, girl # 1007 01:10:54,257 --> 01:10:56,258 # Declining a Charlotte russe # 1008 01:10:56,258 --> 01:10:58,258 # Accepting a fig # # Fig, fig # 1009 01:10:58,258 --> 01:11:00,858 # When out of a clear blue sky # 1010 01:11:00,858 --> 01:11:02,859 # It's suddenly gal and guy # 1011 01:11:02,859 --> 01:11:06,739 # And this could be the start of something big # 1012 01:11:06,739 --> 01:11:08,739 # There's no controlling... # 1013 01:11:08,739 --> 01:11:11,907 Have you ever seen anything like this in your life? 1014 01:11:11,932 --> 01:11:14,124 I'm the luckiest girl in the world! 1015 01:11:15,420 --> 01:11:18,460 # But when a lover... # 1016 01:11:20,220 --> 01:11:25,021 # ..Without a second look # 1017 01:11:25,021 --> 01:11:29,822 # You're watching the sun come up, counting your money, girl # 1018 01:11:29,822 --> 01:11:31,262 # Or else in a dim cafe # 1019 01:11:31,262 --> 01:11:34,222 # You're ordering wine, wine, wine # 1020 01:11:34,222 --> 01:11:36,023 # And suddenly there she is # 1021 01:11:36,023 --> 01:11:39,223 # You wanna be where she is # 1022 01:11:39,223 --> 01:11:40,743 # This must be the start of something # 1023 01:11:40,743 --> 01:11:43,184 # This could be the heart of something # 1024 01:11:43,184 --> 01:11:48,504 # This could be the start of something big! # 1025 01:12:41,390 --> 01:12:44,991 I'm sorry, I just don't understand. 1026 01:12:44,991 --> 01:12:48,391 What's to understand? I was busy, checking on things. 1027 01:12:48,391 --> 01:12:50,872 You abandoned me. 1028 01:12:50,872 --> 01:12:55,472 You were surrounded. There was an army. Your army, with cameras. 1029 01:12:55,472 --> 01:12:57,913 But I needed you. 1030 01:12:57,913 --> 01:13:00,033 You did? 1031 01:13:00,033 --> 01:13:02,513 - Yeah. - Why? 1032 01:13:02,513 --> 01:13:05,473 Why?! Why?! For a million reasons. 1033 01:13:05,473 --> 01:13:08,913 To keep me company. To hold my hand. To love me. 1034 01:13:08,913 --> 01:13:11,914 - Just to be there. - Stop. 1035 01:13:11,914 --> 01:13:16,674 - Just stop. - Why? Stop what? - Baby, it's done. 1036 01:13:16,674 --> 01:13:21,235 - What do you mean "done"? - You're famous. 1037 01:13:21,235 --> 01:13:24,596 You're international, like an airport. 1038 01:13:24,596 --> 01:13:28,925 But what does that have to do with your just running off like that? 1039 01:13:28,950 --> 01:13:30,556 What's going on with you? 1040 01:13:30,557 --> 01:13:35,237 Nothing. I'm fine. I need a paper. 1041 01:13:35,237 --> 01:13:38,277 But it's 5 A.M.! Where are you going? 1042 01:13:38,277 --> 01:13:40,797 I'm not tired. 1043 01:13:43,998 --> 01:13:48,398 I don't know what's gotten into him. Ever since the Waldorf a month ago. 1044 01:13:48,398 --> 01:13:53,399 He wants to be a producer again. He's got all these projects, musicals, TV specials. 1045 01:13:53,399 --> 01:13:55,879 All of a sudden, he's never home. 1046 01:13:55,879 --> 01:13:59,760 I'm not implying anything nor would I ever imply anything. 1047 01:13:59,760 --> 01:14:05,521 However, did it ever occur to you that he just might be, you know? 1048 01:14:05,521 --> 01:14:10,882 - He is a man, after all. - What? Say it. 1049 01:14:11,842 --> 01:14:15,721 You think...? You think he's handling someone else? 1050 01:14:17,321 --> 01:14:20,082 I made him give up personal clients. 1051 01:14:22,042 --> 01:14:28,043 Yeah, I got a lot of things on the boil. A game show, a variety hour. 1052 01:14:28,043 --> 01:14:31,524 I'm thinking of putting together some kind of rock thing, 1053 01:14:31,524 --> 01:14:33,644 like a book that... whatshername? 1054 01:14:33,644 --> 01:14:37,644 Janis Joplin, Ken Morrison. We really hit it off. 1055 01:14:37,644 --> 01:14:43,645 The Who, The What. Maybe some pretty girls. Topo Gigio, mix it up. 1056 01:14:43,645 --> 01:14:46,686 Your old man's back on track. 1057 01:15:10,328 --> 01:15:12,849 Hi, sweetheart. 1058 01:15:21,810 --> 01:15:24,849 Come on, Mommy's gonna call Daddy. 1059 01:15:27,490 --> 01:15:32,131 Yeah, hello? Can I have Mr. Irving Mansfield's room, please. 1060 01:15:34,091 --> 01:15:36,571 He checked out? 1061 01:15:36,571 --> 01:15:39,052 - When? - Yesterday. 1062 01:15:39,052 --> 01:15:43,092 - 'May I help you with anything else?' - No. No, thanks. 1063 01:15:49,533 --> 01:15:52,014 Josie, don't pull! 1064 01:15:52,014 --> 01:15:55,094 Hey, watch out, lady! 1065 01:15:56,534 --> 01:15:59,014 What the hell are you doing here? 1066 01:15:59,014 --> 01:16:01,494 It's a public park. 1067 01:16:01,494 --> 01:16:05,294 - Just a second, that's my tree. - Please, leave me alone. 1068 01:16:05,294 --> 01:16:09,095 - I thought you were in LA? - I came back on the redeye. 1069 01:16:09,095 --> 01:16:12,896 - I thought you were my husband. - You don't need a husband. 1070 01:16:12,896 --> 01:16:16,096 - You're right. - I know I am. - I don't need a husband. 1071 01:16:16,096 --> 01:16:20,057 - Anybody can have a husband. I'm Jackie Susann. - That's right. 1072 01:16:20,057 --> 01:16:22,852 And I'm Irving Mansfield. I've got my own life. 1073 01:16:22,877 --> 01:16:25,296 I've got my own schedule. And I'm booked. 1074 01:16:25,297 --> 01:16:29,258 - Well, good for you. - Yeah! Good for me! 1075 01:16:29,258 --> 01:16:33,058 - So, you're quitting on me? - That's right. I'm off the payroll. 1076 01:16:33,058 --> 01:16:35,538 Well, it's about time. 1077 01:16:35,538 --> 01:16:37,504 I don't need a publicist any more. 1078 01:16:37,529 --> 01:16:40,539 I get all the press I want. They're coming to me now. 1079 01:16:40,539 --> 01:16:46,420 - Well, I'm glad to hear it. - All I need now is just someone who knows. 1080 01:16:47,380 --> 01:16:50,060 Knows what? 1081 01:16:52,060 --> 01:16:56,061 Someone who knows everything I never ever wanna talk about. 1082 01:16:56,061 --> 01:17:00,022 Someone who knows what I look like without this get-up. 1083 01:17:00,022 --> 01:17:04,062 Someone who knows that Guy doesn't have asthma. 1084 01:17:12,422 --> 01:17:15,703 - I won't tell. - Irving, don't make me beg. 1085 01:17:15,703 --> 01:17:18,703 I need you. You know why? 1086 01:17:18,703 --> 01:17:22,984 'Cause from the very beginning you thought I WAS famous. 1087 01:17:22,984 --> 01:17:26,385 - Stop. - Irving, 1088 01:17:26,385 --> 01:17:31,145 we're making a shit load of money. There's new deals coming in everyday. 1089 01:17:31,145 --> 01:17:35,666 So, I'm asking you, Irving, will you...? 1090 01:17:37,746 --> 01:17:40,587 Will you be my agent? 1091 01:17:40,587 --> 01:17:44,106 Don't. Don't tease me. 1092 01:17:44,106 --> 01:17:48,107 I'm not. I mean it, every word. 1093 01:17:48,107 --> 01:17:51,227 I want you to make my deals. 1094 01:17:53,187 --> 01:17:55,468 Even movies? 1095 01:17:55,468 --> 01:17:58,268 With my attorney? 1096 01:17:58,268 --> 01:18:02,269 I don't know. It's so sudden and... 1097 01:18:02,269 --> 01:18:06,269 - Make your deals? It's such a commitment. - But you're ready. 1098 01:18:06,269 --> 01:18:10,190 I can feel it. Oh, Irving, come on. We can be even bigger. 1099 01:18:12,150 --> 01:18:14,391 Yes. 1100 01:18:14,391 --> 01:18:17,391 - Yes? - Yes. 1101 01:18:17,391 --> 01:18:21,071 - And I get 15%? - 10. 12. 1102 01:18:21,071 --> 01:18:23,231 Point five. 1103 01:18:24,191 --> 01:18:26,311 I'm in. 1104 01:18:28,272 --> 01:18:29,312 Wait. 1105 01:18:34,193 --> 01:18:37,193 All right. We're almost even. 1106 01:18:37,193 --> 01:18:41,234 Just one more thing, one more item and I'll tear up our bill. 1107 01:18:43,194 --> 01:18:46,194 Ten more years. That's all I'm asking. 1108 01:18:46,194 --> 01:18:48,675 Just ten. 1109 01:18:48,675 --> 01:18:51,195 With an option. 1110 01:18:56,035 --> 01:19:01,036 'She got her ten years. She had a great agent.' 1111 01:19:01,036 --> 01:19:05,076 'There were movies and premieres.' 1112 01:19:11,797 --> 01:19:14,838 'Jacqueline Susann and Irving Mansfield!' 1113 01:19:18,878 --> 01:19:22,559 You should know, honey. You just came out of the nut house. 1114 01:19:22,559 --> 01:19:24,959 It was not a nut house! 1115 01:19:24,959 --> 01:19:28,399 'Look, they drummed you right out of Hollywood.' 1116 01:19:33,359 --> 01:19:36,840 I hate this movie. They've ruined it! 1117 01:19:36,840 --> 01:19:39,360 It's gonna make a fortune. 1118 01:19:40,320 --> 01:19:43,521 - You think so? - At least I never married one! 1119 01:19:43,521 --> 01:19:48,042 - You take that back, you old... - Get your hands off me! 1120 01:19:55,523 --> 01:19:59,323 'We hit the road again, but this time, we did it right.' 1121 01:19:59,323 --> 01:20:01,844 'No more road maps for us.' 1122 01:20:06,803 --> 01:20:10,804 'But Jackie never forgot who'd been there for her at the beginning.' 1123 01:20:10,804 --> 01:20:15,525 'Though she definitely enjoyed meeting interesting new playmates,' 1124 01:20:15,525 --> 01:20:18,005 'like Onassis and that other Jackie.' 1125 01:20:18,005 --> 01:20:21,045 'Those were great days. She'd never been happier.' 1126 01:20:26,606 --> 01:20:31,607 'No matter how celebrated she became, she never got too ritzy for fans.' 1127 01:20:37,448 --> 01:20:41,047 You know, if I sign this, you can't return it. 1128 01:20:48,448 --> 01:20:51,489 Irving, I'm glad you made me do this. 1129 01:20:52,449 --> 01:20:55,250 Well, it's another smash, baby. 1130 01:20:55,250 --> 01:20:58,050 You're packing 'em in, and in this weather. 1131 01:20:58,050 --> 01:21:00,650 - Isn't it great? - Yeah. 1132 01:21:00,650 --> 01:21:04,651 - You wanna drive over and say hello? - Oh, no. 1133 01:21:04,651 --> 01:21:07,651 I don't look so hot. 1134 01:21:07,651 --> 01:21:10,172 This is enough. 1135 01:21:23,453 --> 01:21:27,453 You look swell in that T-shirt. Doesn't he look swell? 1136 01:21:27,453 --> 01:21:33,454 Guy, I have to tell you, your father thinks everybody looks swell in that T- shirt. 1137 01:21:33,454 --> 01:21:37,455 You must have grown five inches in a week. You're like an oak tree. 1138 01:21:37,455 --> 01:21:40,455 - OK, let's show Mommy. - Show Mommy what? 1139 01:21:40,455 --> 01:21:43,456 Jackie, watch this. Way to go. 1140 01:21:43,456 --> 01:21:46,456 Huh? Isn't that great? 1141 01:21:46,456 --> 01:21:50,496 I tried it a few weeks ago. He didn't forget. 1142 01:21:51,456 --> 01:21:54,456 Honey, are you OK? Should we sit? 1143 01:21:54,456 --> 01:21:57,457 Oh, no, I just need a sec. I'm fine. 1144 01:21:57,457 --> 01:22:01,497 Look at him. 1145 01:22:02,457 --> 01:22:06,858 - Like a movie star. - He's a heartbreaker. 1146 01:22:06,858 --> 01:22:09,378 Yeah. 1147 01:22:27,460 --> 01:22:31,461 - Please. Please, be careful. She's a celebrity. - Mind the bumps. 1148 01:22:31,461 --> 01:22:33,280 They're waiting at the hospital. 1149 01:22:33,305 --> 01:22:36,861 We got the big suite, the one where Liz Taylor had pneumonia. 1150 01:22:36,862 --> 01:22:38,862 - Irving? - Lie back. Rest. 1151 01:22:38,862 --> 01:22:41,151 I can't believe this. I'm astounded... 1152 01:22:41,176 --> 01:22:44,862 ... that you of all people would not tell me that she was here. 1153 01:22:44,863 --> 01:22:46,863 - I'm sorry. - How could you? 1154 01:22:46,863 --> 01:22:51,464 You know how she is about the cancer. She thinks it'd hurt sales. 1155 01:22:51,464 --> 01:22:56,144 - She doesn't want anyone to feel sorry for her. - I never would! 1156 01:22:56,144 --> 01:23:00,144 She is so brave. She's so utterly strong. 1157 01:23:00,144 --> 01:23:03,144 I know. She's the best. 1158 01:23:03,144 --> 01:23:06,065 I would play her. 1159 01:23:07,025 --> 01:23:10,826 Flo, don't go in there. She's resting. 1160 01:23:10,826 --> 01:23:13,466 Jacqueline? 1161 01:23:20,987 --> 01:23:22,907 What are you doing here? 1162 01:23:24,868 --> 01:23:28,188 Well, now, this is a fine thing. 1163 01:23:28,188 --> 01:23:30,309 I mean, I wanna know what's wrong. 1164 01:23:30,309 --> 01:23:33,300 Now, what is it? 1165 01:23:33,469 --> 01:23:37,469 Here I am, probably your best friend in the entire world... 1166 01:23:37,469 --> 01:23:40,469 ...and nobody tells me what's going on. 1167 01:23:40,469 --> 01:23:43,830 So... what's going on? 1168 01:23:43,830 --> 01:23:47,110 Is it... 1169 01:23:47,110 --> 01:23:49,750 a face-lift? 1170 01:23:52,791 --> 01:23:55,311 Yeah. 1171 01:23:56,271 --> 01:23:58,632 Well, 1172 01:23:58,632 --> 01:24:01,032 I guess it's time. 1173 01:24:05,593 --> 01:24:08,633 - Oh. - Look who's here. 1174 01:24:10,592 --> 01:24:12,593 Jackie. 1175 01:24:12,593 --> 01:24:15,073 Excuse me, this is a private room. 1176 01:24:15,073 --> 01:24:19,074 Oh, we're not really here. We thought you were Liz Taylor. 1177 01:24:19,074 --> 01:24:23,074 We knew we weren't supposed to come. But this is business. Business? 1178 01:24:23,074 --> 01:24:26,955 It's about the new book. We got this from your publisher in England. 1179 01:24:26,955 --> 01:24:32,036 We can only publish this work if you remove the profanity. Stop. 1180 01:24:32,036 --> 01:24:36,316 Specifically the word fuck. Stop. We hope this will not be a problem. 1181 01:24:36,316 --> 01:24:38,317 Please advise. 1182 01:24:38,317 --> 01:24:40,837 What do you want us to do? 1183 01:24:42,797 --> 01:24:45,317 Send 'em a telegram. 1184 01:24:46,277 --> 01:24:49,717 Dear England, fuck you. 1185 01:24:49,717 --> 01:24:51,598 Love, 1186 01:24:51,598 --> 01:24:53,798 Jackie Susann. 1187 01:24:53,798 --> 01:24:56,798 Stop. 1188 01:25:00,759 --> 01:25:03,759 'She made the front-page,' 1189 01:25:03,759 --> 01:25:06,760 'all three dailies and every network.' 1190 01:25:06,760 --> 01:25:09,760 'She would have been thrilled.' 1191 01:25:09,760 --> 01:25:12,361 'I had lost my best friend.' 1192 01:25:12,361 --> 01:25:16,321 'But I knew she had gotten what she wanted, what she needed.' 1193 01:25:17,281 --> 01:25:20,401 'She'd made it all the way to number one.' 1194 01:25:28,482 --> 01:25:32,483 'In Jackie's books, when people get to be stars, they take Seconal,' 1195 01:25:32,483 --> 01:25:37,483 'Nembutal, they fall for the wrong people and then kill themselves in their cabanas.' 1196 01:25:37,483 --> 01:25:41,524 'Being famous, it's a bum rap.' 1197 01:25:44,484 --> 01:25:46,965 'But, you know what?' 1198 01:25:46,965 --> 01:25:50,965 'Jackie was a star. And she loved every minute.' 1199 01:25:50,965 --> 01:25:54,965 'She never got the breaks, so she made her own.' 1200 01:25:54,965 --> 01:25:57,485 'You gotta love that.' 1201 01:25:59,446 --> 01:26:02,446 'But you know how I like to remember her?' 1202 01:26:02,446 --> 01:26:06,487 'On that beautiful day in the Mediterranean.' 1203 01:26:08,447 --> 01:26:11,447 'On that boat, with Onassis,' 1204 01:26:11,447 --> 01:26:14,728 'knowing she'd made it at last.' 1205 01:26:14,728 --> 01:26:17,208 'At the top of the world,' 1206 01:26:17,208 --> 01:26:19,569 'at the top of her game.' 1207 01:26:19,569 --> 01:26:22,969 I think I married the wrong Jackie. 1208 01:26:28,490 --> 01:26:31,009 'Wasn't she great?' 1209 01:26:35,970 --> 01:26:39,971 # I looked at you # 1210 01:26:39,971 --> 01:26:42,971 # Looking at me # 1211 01:26:42,971 --> 01:26:46,012 # There we were # 1212 01:26:46,972 --> 01:26:51,012 # And it just happened # 1213 01:26:53,973 --> 01:26:56,973 # You were the one # 1214 01:26:56,973 --> 01:26:58,973 # And you # 1215 01:26:58,973 --> 01:27:03,973 # Were sent to # 1216 01:27:03,973 --> 01:27:05,974 # Open my heart # 1217 01:27:05,974 --> 01:27:08,974 # And to find # 1218 01:27:08,974 --> 01:27:13,015 # The love that's there # 1219 01:27:15,975 --> 01:27:18,975 # And just for you # 1220 01:27:18,975 --> 01:27:23,016 # For always # 1221 01:27:24,976 --> 01:27:27,977 # All of my hopes # 1222 01:27:27,977 --> 01:27:30,977 # All of my dreams # 1223 01:27:30,977 --> 01:27:34,378 # Everyone # 1224 01:27:34,378 --> 01:27:39,417 # We'll share forever # 1225 01:27:42,378 --> 01:27:44,378 # You were my love # 1226 01:27:44,378 --> 01:27:47,419 # And you were # 1227 01:27:47,499 --> 01:27:50,499 # Sent to # 1228 01:27:50,499 --> 01:27:53,500 # Open my heart # 1229 01:27:53,500 --> 01:27:56,500 # And to find # 1230 01:27:56,500 --> 01:28:01,541 # I live for you-u-u. # 98963

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