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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,400 # Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians 2 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:07,480 # Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,960 # Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians 4 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,560 # Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times 5 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,400 # Romans rotten, rank and ruthless Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless 6 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,080 # Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages 7 00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:20,440 # Gory stories, we do that 8 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:23,400 # And your host, a talking rat 9 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,280 # The past is no longer a mystery 10 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:27,400 # Welcome to... 11 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,800 # ..Horrible Histories. # 12 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,880 Horrible Histories presents... 13 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,040 TV: Ten minutes to go and the Lionesses lead. 14 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,920 This could be the greatest game we've ever seen! 15 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:43,600 Come on, girls! 16 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,240 Oh, and it's a penalty! 17 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:46,520 Wait, what? 18 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,000 Why has the telly gone off? 19 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,000 Is this a bad time? 20 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,680 Yes, I was just watching the footy. 21 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,520 And why are you in my house? 22 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,400 I'm here to interview you for our football special. 23 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,560 You mustn't have got my emails. 24 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:00,600 Emails? 25 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,040 Anyway, first question. 26 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:06,360 Jill Scott, footy legend, how many goals did you score for England? 27 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,400 27? 28 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,640 27. Wow! 29 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,600 And what do you know about the history of football? 30 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,160 Not loads, but I know I'd rather be watching it. 31 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,600 Well, Jill, watch this instead. 32 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,160 Football, as we know it, hasn't been around that long, but people 33 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,600 have been kicking a ball around for thousands of years. 34 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,880 Seriously, how did you get into my house? 35 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,760 I'm a rat. I can get in anywhere. 36 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:36,520 It's January, and with Ratchester United bottom of the table, 37 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,120 the manager is bringing in new blood. 38 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,720 OK, lads, now obviously, the team has been on a bit of a bad run, 39 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,720 so I've decided to bring in some backup. 40 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,400 And the good news is, I've been scouring history for some 41 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,760 of the best ball players ever. History? 42 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,440 With modern transfer fees through the roof, 43 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:57,600 Sam is turning to the past for new signings. 44 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,240 First is a ball game player from 14th-century Mexico. 45 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,000 Not everyone is happy. 46 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,960 This boy, Illhuicamina - come here, lad - 47 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,360 is a Mayan pok-a-tok superstar from Central America. 48 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,960 He's literally lost every match he's played. 49 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,480 Hang on. You said, "lost"? 50 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,320 Yeah. We struggled to sign any of the winners. 51 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,720 Rumour has it the Mayans sacrificed them all to the gods. 52 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,720 Oh, yeah. And you have to pass to his hips or his head. 53 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,680 Pok-a-tok players aren't allowed to use their feet. 54 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,120 Maybe he should play in goal, then? 55 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,760 They're not allowed to use their hands, either. 56 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:33,080 But don't worry! With him on our side, we'll soon start winning. 57 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,200 Woah, Illsy, Illsy! Illsy, Illsy, don't worry. Come here, you're safe. 58 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:40,080 People are nice to the winners in our league. 59 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,360 Apart from on the Internet. 60 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,320 Historical players are a nightmare, man. 61 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,600 When Juventus signed three Mongol Warriors, 62 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,760 they had to play with a severed head. 63 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,400 I mean, I don't care if that's how you played under Genghis Khan. 64 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:52,800 It ruins your boots, doesn't it? 65 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,840 GROWLING 66 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,160 Next up, Peng Xiyun. 67 00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:00,720 Peng is a legendary Cuju player from Han China, 2,000 years ago. 68 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,000 Cuju players are freestylers 69 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,880 but they don't mind a tough tackle, either. 70 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,720 Their ball might be filled with feathers, 71 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,560 but these players are made of iron. 72 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,040 And check this out. 73 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,280 Nailed it. 74 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,360 That's class. 75 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,280 You get different types of leaders in football. 76 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,160 You know, it might be a towering centre-half. 77 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,920 It might be a goal-scoring talisman. 78 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:22,440 It might be a Chinese lady from 2,000 years ago. 79 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:26,280 And then finally, Pete's a football player from the 15th century. 80 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:27,960 Well, at least he knows football, then. 81 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,120 Of course I know football. 82 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,040 Why do you think I brought my dirty club? 83 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,200 Good lad. 84 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,120 There are three main parts to my game. 85 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,440 It's control, pace and bash it. 86 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:41,440 We're going to play a 4-3-1-1-1 system. 87 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,000 You four in defence, you give it to Peng, 88 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,640 who crosses it into Illsey, who heads it into the net. 89 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,720 Gaffer, it'll never work. The goalie will see it coming. 90 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,280 Not with two black eyes, he won't. 91 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,720 Tactics. 92 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:54,440 Well, I mean, either it'll work brilliantly, 93 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,880 or everyone will be sent off inside the first 30 seconds. 94 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,840 It's time to get back to training. 95 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,480 But club captain Matty Ward ain't pleased. 96 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,160 Right. I want a transfer. 97 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:06,240 Oh, that's great news, because I'm selling you, 98 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,040 to the Ancient Greek Episkyros team. 99 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,080 Don't bother packing your kit. 100 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,680 They play in the nude. 101 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,880 CRIES OF PAIN 102 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,920 Men! 103 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,800 You have made Caesar proud this day! 104 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,560 ALL: Hail, Caesar! 105 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,600 HE COUGHS 106 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,160 How many casualties? 107 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,360 One dead. 108 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,560 Three more may not make it. 109 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:29,800 Several lost limbs. 110 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:33,120 In all, half the men who went in won't be fighting again soon. 111 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:34,840 A small price to pay. 112 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:35,880 Urgh! 113 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:36,960 Is it, though? 114 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,280 What? It's just a game, isn't it? 115 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,240 This is more than a game, Tribune. 116 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:46,120 We've been playing Harpastum for hundreds of years! 117 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,160 It's also a great way of building team spirit, 118 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:53,400 of exercising in preparation for war. 119 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,360 How are these guys going to fight in a war 120 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,200 when they've battered each other senseless? 121 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,560 Look, I love the game. 122 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,240 Two teams of trained killers doing everything they can to stop 123 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,080 the other team getting hold of the small ball. 124 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,960 Ah, the beautiful game. 125 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,200 But it's dangerous! 126 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,320 According to Cicero, someone got killed last week 127 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:09,680 who wasn't even playing. 128 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,560 They were just near the pitch, having a shave. 129 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,960 And the ball is needlessly hard, like a nut. 130 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,080 On me head, son! Heads! 131 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,040 Ow. 132 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:19,080 What's your point? 133 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,080 Why do you insist on letting our soldiers 134 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,320 injure themselves so much playing a ball game? 135 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:27,360 Well, if they can do that to themselves, just imagine 136 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,560 what they can do to the enemy? 137 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,320 Ha. If any of them are left. 138 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:37,000 SHOUTING Kick him! Go on, get stuck in! 139 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,800 Football's had a lot of celebrity fans 140 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,120 and players throughout history. 141 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,080 Henry VIII owned football boots and 142 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,080 Pope John Paul II played in goal. 143 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,560 He'd be no match for my headers, though. Get in! 144 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,840 And Sherlock Holmes creator Arthur Conan Doyle 145 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:51,760 actually played in goal for Portsmouth. 2-0! 146 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,760 Even Shakespeare couldn't stop mentioning football in his plays. 147 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,080 GLASS SMASHES Oi! Sorry! 148 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,440 Smashed it. 149 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:01,200 You dog, you cur, you slave! 150 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,280 I am none of these, my Lord. 151 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,320 I beseech your pardon! 152 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,760 OK, hold it there. Guys, I'm really feeling it. 153 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:09,640 Erm, King Lear. Fantastic work. 154 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,800 I just wonder if you couldn't say something even ruder. 155 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,680 You elephant-nosed tree fish! 156 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,800 I'll probably write it. Oh, yeah. 157 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:22,200 Great work, Shakey! Another winner. 158 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,160 We've got the King here, too. 159 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,160 Have this man killed for treason! 160 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,800 I'm only joking. OK, so what's this play called? 161 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,120 King Lear, Your Majesty. 162 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,240 It's a story of an elderly king with three daughters 163 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,560 who are fighting over his kingdom as he... 164 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,360 Aye, aye, good, good. Now, listen, Shakey. 165 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,360 I'm getting it in the neck from the Puritans who hate sport. 166 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,200 In fact, I'm even going to have to introduce 167 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,480 a few new laws restricting it. 168 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:48,200 So it makes me look really bad when my own personal playwright 169 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,960 keeps filling his plays with sports references. 170 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,600 I'm not sure I know what you mean. 171 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:54,760 Oh, yes, you do, Shakey. 172 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:57,480 You are a nerd for sport and you just can't help yourself. 173 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,200 I'm not a sports nerd! 174 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:00,320 Gentlemen! 175 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,440 Henry V, Scene Two. 176 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,760 Well... And, action. 177 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,640 What treasure, uncle? 178 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,120 Tennis balls, my liege. 179 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:08,560 Ah, see, sports nerd. 180 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,120 OK, yeah. There may be one or two references. 181 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,640 A Comedy Of Errors, gentlemen, you know the bit I'm talking about. 182 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,280 Am I so round with you as you with me, 183 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,640 that like a football, you do spurn me, thus. 184 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,680 Ooh! A football, this time, sports nerd! 185 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,560 Plus, we've got wrestling in As You Like It, 186 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,160 there's falconry, archery, do I need to go on? 187 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,360 You have my word, Majesty. 188 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,400 There will be no mention of sport in King Lear. 189 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,600 That's great to hear, Shakey. Thanks. Sounds good. 190 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:39,520 OK, let's go from Act 1, Scene 4. Action! 191 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,680 I'll not be strucken, my Lord. 192 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,640 Nor tripped, neither, you base football player! 193 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,280 Sports nerd! 194 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,320 Oh, no! 195 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:54,200 WHISPERING: We're about to go and see our team, Southampton FC, 196 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:58,280 or as some people like to call us, The Saints. Shush! 197 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,240 We're one of the oldest football teams in the country. 198 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:05,000 We got our nickname, The Saints, as we were founded in 1885 199 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:08,880 by members of this very church, St Mary's. Shush! 200 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:10,720 No-one wants to hear about your football team! 201 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,680 The vicar's about to start his sermon! 202 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:16,640 We are gathered in this hallowed place to give thanks... 203 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,880 ..for last week's 3-0 win and to pray 204 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,000 for our beloved team, Southampton FC. 205 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,800 May they thrash the opposition and show them 206 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,680 what a bunch losers they are! 207 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,520 On your head, vicar! 208 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,960 CHEERING 209 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,400 Woo! 210 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,920 Welcome to Match Of That Day, the show that gives boredom 211 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:46,720 the red card, and we're kicking off with historical What Happened Next. 212 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:50,840 Now, we have here three football fans of the past. 213 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,600 First up, we have Mary Queen of Scots. 214 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,560 One of the first known footballs was found in her bedroom. 215 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:59,360 Next to her, it's Oliver Cromwell. 216 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,000 He wanted football banned, and said it was sinful. 217 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,040 BOOING 218 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,960 And finally, it's Edward Elgar, classical composer 219 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,400 and Wolverhampton Wanderers superfan. 220 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:14,480 OK, guys, it's time for historical What Happened Next. 221 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,560 And we're heading to 1877. 222 00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:22,040 It's the FA Cup Final, between Oxford University and Wanderers FC 223 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,000 from north-east England. 224 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,240 COMMENTATOR: Wanderers are through on goal. 225 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:28,320 He shoots, and it's saved by Lord Kinnaird. 226 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,880 OK, what actually happened next? Your Majesty? 227 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:36,520 Perhaps... 300 villagers charge in, flatten the opposition. 228 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,840 And then they pick up the ball, run three miles with it, place 229 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,400 it down on a stone in order to score a point. 230 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,960 Classic football. 231 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,040 HE LAUGHS Things have changed, a lot! 232 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,600 Ollie. Oliver. 233 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,200 Erm, don't know. 234 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,560 Were they all arrested? They should have been. 235 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,400 Plus, obviously, in that position, he should have passed. 236 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,400 No. Edward Elgar. 237 00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:01,200 Did the goalie, Lord Kinnaird, immediately score an own goal, much 238 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:05,720 to the amusement of the opposite team and supporters, and myself? 239 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,200 There's only one way to find out! Let's take a look. 240 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,520 COMMENTATOR: Great celebrations from His Lordship. 241 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,360 Oh, no! But what an error! 242 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,080 He's crossed the goal line! 243 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,200 It's an own goal! 244 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,440 Game! 245 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,000 You're right! 246 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,640 The goalie scored an own goal by crossing his own goal line, 247 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,480 celebrating a save he just made! That's brilliant! 248 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,120 What the blazes is a goalie? 249 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,720 Wow. Football really has changed since your time. 250 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:36,160 Lord Kinnaird was so embarrassed about his own goal, he got the FA 251 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,680 to remove it from their official records. 252 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,600 Anything you'd get removed from your records, Jill? 253 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,880 To be fair, probably a couple of red cards I've got over the years, 254 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:48,240 but I'd quite like to remove you from my sofa. 255 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,000 I'll ignore that and ask my next question. 256 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,680 Did you know that football, as we know it, is quite 257 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,920 a recent invention? Really? 258 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,760 Yes. In the 19th century there were lots of teams all around Britain, 259 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,320 but they had loads of different, weird rules. 260 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,400 So matches would just be chaos. 261 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:09,360 And that's why the Football Association, the FA, was set 262 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,720 up to improve the game, by making sure everyone played 263 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,440 by the same rules. 264 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,200 The FA began when the various football clubs 265 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,720 met at a pub in London. 266 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,160 Gentlemen! Thank you very much for attending this meeting, 267 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,560 where we hope to agree on a set of official rules 268 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,400 for the sport of football. 269 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,680 EVERYONE: Hear, hear! 270 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:34,160 I see some of the biggest football clubs are here today. 271 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,920 The War Office Club. The War Office Club, reporting for duty, sir! 272 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,160 The Crusaders. 273 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,320 The No Names of Kilburn. Who are ya?! Yes. 274 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,520 And We Panicked When Choosing A Name. Sorry. 275 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,440 And we have a representative from the Rugby school club. 276 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,680 Really chuffed to be here, guys. 277 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:51,320 I think we can all agree on the basics. 278 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,960 This is a game played in shorts. ALL: Yes! 279 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,160 When a ball is kicked towards the goal. 280 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,320 ALL: Hear, hear! 281 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,840 And the players can touch the ball with their hands. 282 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,680 Wait, what? Yeah, they chuck it to their team-mate. 283 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,720 He runs down the pitch. He touches it on the try line for a try. 284 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:06,960 Bob's your uncle. It's a goal. 285 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,120 That is NOT how we play football! 286 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,840 It's how we play in Rugby. 287 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,320 Well... 288 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,000 ..why don't you go away and make up 289 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,960 your own rules for Rugby football instead? 290 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,560 No need to shout, though. 291 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:25,440 Right. I'm sure the rest of us can agree on the rules of football. 292 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,440 It's a game where the players attempt to kick a ball 293 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,000 without using their hands. 294 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,600 Unless you do a really good catch anywhere on the pitch. Exactly. 295 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,600 If you make a great catch, you earn yourself a free kick. 296 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,360 No, it should just be kicking. 297 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,440 It's called football, after all. 298 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,320 I don't know. Quite a lot of us really enjoy catching. 299 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,120 And no passing forward. 300 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,640 The only way to pass is sideways or backwards. 301 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,640 Can I just say, this is beginning to sound a lot like my game? 302 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:55,320 Shush! Rugby! Right. Let's talk about goals. 303 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:58,000 The goal should have two posts. 304 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,040 Yes, absolutely. 305 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,600 And then above that, some kind of bar. 306 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,840 No, no, no, no, no. 307 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:07,400 Just two posts. And if the ball goes through the posts 308 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,640 at any height, it's a goal. 309 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,680 So the rules are you can sometimes catch the ball, 310 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:16,040 you cannot pass it forward, and the goal is infinitely tall. 311 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,640 This is getting scary, man. 312 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,240 This sounds exactly like my sport. 313 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,480 Button it, Rugby! 314 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,200 No, no, you don't understand. 315 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:24,240 THEY TALK AT ONCE 316 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:27,720 So, all we can agree on is that you can kick the ball. 317 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:31,200 Even though throwing and catching is much more fun. 318 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,240 Ha! Caught it! 319 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:33,720 Right... I've had enough of this! 320 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,760 BOOING 321 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:45,920 We're on our way to watch our favourite team, Everton FC. Whay! 322 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,440 Although some people call our team The Toffees. 323 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,680 And here's why. 324 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,560 Ye Ancient Everton Toffee House. 325 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:55,160 We come here before every match for a bag of their famous toffees. 326 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:59,400 Even Queen Victoria and Charles Dickens love Everton toffees. 327 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,160 Hey, come on, let's hear it for our favourite team! 328 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,560 CHEERING 329 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:07,760 Yeah, well, as you can tell, they're a bit sticky. 330 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,400 Yeah! 331 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:19,480 In the summer of 1863 comes the story of one footballer's fight 332 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,480 to still be allowed to kick 333 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,080 people during a match. 334 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,640 Francis Campbell stars in... 335 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:32,680 Until now, kicking another player's shins to get the ball, 336 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,040 hacking, as we call it, has been legal. 337 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,320 But we at the Football Association propose to ban it! 338 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,360 SHOUTING 339 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,640 Over my dead body! 340 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:46,200 What are you going to do about it, Campbell? 341 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,120 THUDDING KICK Oh! 342 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,760 Oh! Should have seen that coming! 343 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,800 CRIES OF PAIN 344 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,120 Banning shin-kicking? What are you thinking? 345 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:58,080 You will do away with the courage and pluck of the game. 346 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,920 I'm leaving the Football Association and I'm taking 347 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,600 my football team, Blackheath, with me. 348 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,640 THUDDING KICK Oh! I supported it! 349 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,400 Campbell was a man who played by his own rules. 350 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,080 At least, that was the plan. 351 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:19,440 HE SCREAMS Ye-e-s! Textbook hacking! 352 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,480 Well played, Blackheath! 353 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,760 Haven't you heard? Your team have banned hacking too! 354 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,480 What? Why? 355 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:26,720 CAMPBELL SCREAMS 356 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,720 Oh, I do get that now, actually. 357 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,240 Kick Him Like Campbell... 358 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:32,280 That smarts! 359 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,320 ..hacking its way onto screen soon. 360 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:35,640 CAMPBELL WHIMPERS 361 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:39,760 Hello, I'm Lady Florence Dixie, activist, adventurer, 362 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,800 and president of the BLFC, 363 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,800 the British Ladies' Football Club, 364 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:44,960 the world's first 365 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,440 women's football club. 366 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,880 And this is my pet jaguar, 367 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,240 Athens, who I brought back from my travels in South America. 368 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,800 HE EXCLAIMS IN FRIGHT No, don't run. 369 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,920 He'll just think you want to play. 370 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:59,040 This man is a newspaper journalist who wrote an article about my team 371 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,000 the year after it was formed. 372 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,960 But what complaint did he make about women's football 373 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,360 in the article? 374 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:09,360 Was it A, that there weren't enough women's teams? 375 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:13,280 B, that the kits we played in allowed our legs to be seen? 376 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:18,600 Or C, that women's football was much more dangerous than men's? 377 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:19,920 The answer is... 378 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,840 ..B. The newspaper actually complained 379 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,760 that our football kits allow the calves of our legs to be seen. 380 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:31,040 Although, I must say, football can be dangerous, particularly 381 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:33,600 for journalists who say mean things. 382 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,600 Isn't that right, Athens? 383 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:37,560 JOURNALIST SCREAMS IN TERROR 384 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,160 Ooh! SHE LAUGHS 385 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:43,640 The British Ladies' Football Club was founded in 1894, so women's 386 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:48,480 football SHOULD have been going strong for almost 130 years, Jill. 387 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:51,280 However, the FA banned it! RECORD SCRATCHES 388 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,960 What are your thoughts on that? 389 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,040 I just can't imagine being banned from playing football. 390 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,440 I know! 391 00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:00,800 So yeah, about 100 years ago, women's football 392 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:04,960 was massively popular, right up until the FA shut it down. 393 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,320 Talk about foul play! 394 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,200 WHISTLE BLOWS 395 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,800 I say, is this the Dick, Kerr Ladies' Football Club? 396 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,280 Ooh, dear! 397 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,920 Yes. We are. The best team in the country. 398 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,120 We're practically unbeaten this season. 399 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,800 Oh. Ooh! Ooh, handball. 400 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,120 This is Lily Parr. 401 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:28,280 43 goals in her first season as a player. Legend. 402 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,960 That may be, but, as of the 5th of December, 1921, 403 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,040 you ladies cannot play here. WHISTLE BLOWS 404 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,400 What? But that's tomorrow, why? 405 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:41,440 The Football Association have banned women from playing football on FA 406 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,800 grounds, including this one. 407 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,360 Oof! HE SPLUTTERS 408 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:47,720 But why? 409 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:51,160 People just don't really want to see women playing football. 410 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,120 We had 20,000 people come and watch us play last week, 411 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,960 they were turning them away at the gate. 412 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:59,880 Well, football is a man's game. SHE SNORTS 413 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:03,160 The game is unsuitable for ladies. Urgh. 414 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,720 And personally, I feel that women aren't physically strong enough. 415 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:12,320 Oh dear! Listen, mister. We play two matches a week, and this isn't 416 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,600 even our proper job. SHE LAUGHS 417 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,920 We build trains Monday to Friday in the factory, so don't 418 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,840 you worry about us. HE LAUGHS 419 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:22,040 Well, I'm sorry, but the doctors say that the physical exertion 420 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:28,000 from football could be dangerous to delicate ladies such as yourself. 421 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,440 This is ridiculous. 422 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,480 We're the most popular team in the country! 423 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,800 Football is our life. What'll we do instead? 424 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,440 Well, I don't know. Speed knitting? TOGETHER: Oh! 425 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,200 Maybe a full-contact jam-making? SHE GASPS 426 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,000 How about a five-a-side flower arranging? 427 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,880 I'll arrange some flowers right up your... Lily! 428 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,200 So that's it, then? 429 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,880 We're banned? 430 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,960 Yes, yes. Yes, you are. Right. 431 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,240 Ladies, shooting practice. I say, what are you up to? 432 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,680 THEY GRUNT WITH EFFORT Go on, Lily! 433 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,240 THEY LAUGH Oh, back of the net! Ref, ref! 434 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,880 Half-time! 435 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,200 Welcome back to historical What Happened Next? 436 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:08,240 This time, we're in 1930 at the first-ever World Cup. 437 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:11,440 The USA are playing Argentina in the semifinals, 438 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,320 but what happened next? 439 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,480 COMMENTATOR: And the USA are on the attack here and... 440 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,640 Oh no, the striker has gone down 441 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,080 with what looks to be a knee injury. 442 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,400 On comes the physio. 443 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,360 Let's hope it's not too serious. 444 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:26,040 Mary, what actually happened next? 445 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,160 IN A FRENCH ACCENT: I actually attended one of the first ever 446 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,080 international matches over 400 years ago. 447 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:35,440 Some of my French and Scottish attendants took on a team 448 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,360 of English servants. 449 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:40,160 IN A SCOTTISH ACCENT: The game lasted for over two hours. 450 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,200 It was brutal. 451 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,240 Oliver Cromwell? I refuse to comment. 452 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,400 Football is a frivolous game. 453 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,080 But didn't you play football back when you were at university? 454 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,200 It was a wild rumour started by an old friend 455 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,880 who was probably annoyed because I never passed him the ball. 456 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,840 Did the crowd, at the top of their voices, scream and shout: 457 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,240 "He banged the leather for the goal"? 458 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,440 I started that chant at Wolves, and it's the first 459 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,200 football chant anywhere. 460 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:09,160 That's true. But the wrong answer, I'm afraid. 461 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:10,760 What?! Let's take a look. 462 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,000 COMMENTATOR: He has some chloroform there, 463 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,640 that will put the player to sleep if he's in too much pain. 464 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,520 Oh, no! He's dropped it. 465 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,760 The chloroform fumes look to be taking hold, and... 466 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,440 Yes, he's knocked himself out! 467 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,160 HE LAUGHS 468 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,680 I know some matches are dull, 469 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,880 but who goes to sleep in the middle of an exciting game? 470 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,520 HE LAUGHS 471 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,480 THEY SNORE 472 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:31,760 I shouldn't have asked! 473 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,800 USA lost to Argentina 6-1 in that match, Jill. 474 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,640 What was the worst defeat you suffered in your career? 475 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,720 I think it was the Euros 2009 final. 476 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,000 We actually got beat 6-2 off Germany. 477 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,760 What about the biggest hammering you gave someone? 478 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,800 Ooh. Well, it's probably not a hammering, 479 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:55,360 but we got our own back in 2022 with that Euros victory at Wembley. 480 00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:57,040 I still can't believe the physio 481 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,160 knocked himself out there, though, Jill. 482 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,560 What's the strangest thing you've ever seen on a football pitch? 483 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,680 I went to a Sunderland match once and the player scored 484 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,360 and it deflected in off a beach ball. 485 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,960 HE LAUGHS That's a good one! 486 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,000 Here's a good one, though. 487 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,480 A match from 1945 involving Arsenal, 488 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,640 in which their toughest opposition was... 489 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,160 ..the weather. 490 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,320 Welcome to London for today's match. 491 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,560 At least that's where we think we are. 492 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,840 We can't actually see anything through the fog. 493 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:29,960 WHISTLE BLOWS I think that was a whistle, Roger. 494 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,440 Yes, Arsenal are now down to ten men. 495 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,000 No, they're back up to 11. 496 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,360 The sent-off player has sneaked back onto the pitch. 497 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:37,720 That's surely against the rules. 498 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,480 It certainly is, Gabby, but no one's even seen him do it. 499 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:44,440 And it looks like Moscow are sneaking an extra two players 500 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:45,560 onto the pitch. 501 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,480 They've got 13 players now, Gabby! 502 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,960 I think maybe there may be even more than that, Roger. 503 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,640 It's very hard to tell. At last, some action. 504 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,720 The goalkeeper could be tested here. 505 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:55,800 Oh, no, no, no! 506 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,440 The Arsenal goalkeeper has knocked himself unconscious on the goalpost. 507 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,200 So Arsenal are without a goalie. 508 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:05,680 No, one of the Arsenal fans has come onto the pitch and is acting 509 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:06,840 as replacement goalie. 510 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,960 WHISTLE BLOWS And the ref has blown his whistle 511 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:14,440 for what we can only hope is the end of the game! 512 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,560 And at full-time, the score is... HE HESITATES 513 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,920 ..possibly 4-3 to the Russian team. 514 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,680 Excuse me. Do you know where the changing rooms are? 515 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:23,920 Changing rooms?! 516 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,440 I can barely see Roger and he's standing right next to me! 517 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,000 CRASH Roger? 518 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,120 Gabby? Send help! 519 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:34,160 Hi, I'm Ken Aston, head of the Referees' Committee, 520 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,520 and this is Antonio Rattin. 521 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:41,120 HE SPEAKS SPANISH ANGRILY 522 00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:43,840 Right. I don't think he's very happy. 523 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,760 HE SPEAKS SPANISH 524 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,880 As you can see, he just got sent off 525 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,200 in the 1966 World Cup quarter-final, 526 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,920 and no-one really knows why. 527 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,960 Communication between referees and players 528 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,840 was pretty confusing in the old days. 529 00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,200 Luckily, after watching this match, I had the idea of using 530 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,560 red and yellow cards to make things clearer. 531 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,720 But what gave me that idea? 532 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,000 Was it... 533 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:17,400 The answer is C! 534 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,560 I saw some traffic lights on the way home 535 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:25,760 and the colours gave me the idea for a yellow and red card. 536 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,800 HE SPEAKS SPANISH 537 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,360 IN ENGLISH: Unbelievable! 538 00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:33,680 They are unbelievable. 539 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:34,720 Thank you! 540 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,400 Welcome back to historical What Happened Next? 541 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,480 For our final question, we're heading to 1902 542 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,160 and a football match in Germany. 543 00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:50,120 COMMENTATOR: Lovely runs. He's turned the defender. Schmidt must score! 544 00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,240 WHISTLE BLOWS Oh, but the ref's blown his whistle! 545 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,480 So why did the referee blow his whistle? 546 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,720 FRENCH ACCENT: A football is made from a pig's bladder 547 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:00,080 wrapped in a deer skin. 548 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:04,720 So did an angry deer run onto the pitch, and then... 549 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,680 SCOTTISH ACCENT: ..stick his antlers where the sun don't shine? 550 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,560 HE LAUGHS Oliver Cromwell. 551 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,000 Oh, I care not for such trifles. 552 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,080 But if I had to guess, I'd probably say, is the match stopped 553 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,280 so someone can carry a coffin across the pitch? 554 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,320 I'm afraid that's absolutely ridiculous. 555 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,160 And absolutely correct! What?! 556 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,520 Yeah. There's kind of a logic, if you follow it through. 557 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:25,760 BELL TOLLS 558 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,560 COMMENTATOR: There must be two sports pitches next to a cemetery, 559 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:32,280 so the game must be paused each time a coffin needs taking across. 560 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,640 Very respectable form from these players. 561 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,120 Oh, but what's this? 562 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,120 I suppose you could call that deadly accuracy. 563 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:43,880 That's brilliant! HE LAUGHS 564 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,360 Well, that's it for Match Of That Day. 565 00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:47,560 See you next time! 566 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,040 Jill, what's your favourite thing about football? 567 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:56,400 I think it has to be just being part of a team, making lots of friends. 568 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,120 I think that's the most important thing. 569 00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:00,160 Now, we usually finish with a song. 570 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,280 What's your go-to karaoke banger? 571 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,200 It has to be Sweet Caroline. 572 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,200 I knew you'd say that! 573 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,400 Although finishing with that would be interesting and memorable 574 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,720 in all kinds of ways, Jill, I think we'll go with this one instead. 575 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,120 I'll just pop the TV back on. 576 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,000 ALL: # It's more than goals 577 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,800 # It's more than goals 578 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,720 # We know that football's more than goals 579 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,320 # It's more than goals 580 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,560 # It's more than goals 581 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:31,240 # We know that football's more than goals 582 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:37,920 # Way back in 1863 583 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,560 # We decided to agree 584 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,640 # Rules of play, the FA 585 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:51,200 TOGETHER: # And as all the years went by, even more rules applied 586 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,720 # Like how I was offside 587 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,640 # And I was goalie! 588 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,000 ALL: # Teams got fancy shirts 589 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,040 # Different for the keepers 590 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,560 # Play on grass or dirt 591 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,840 # Rules to stop the cheaters 592 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,080 # So many blokes 593 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,080 # So many jeers 594 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:19,760 # Before so many years 595 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,720 # Women's teams got the cheers 596 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:25,840 # 'Cos when they saw us 597 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,240 # Passing the ball, scoring 43 goals 598 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,640 # Boy, could we play football! 599 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,600 # Until they banned us! 600 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,720 # I was thinking hard 601 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:40,240 # About rules while stuck in traffic 602 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,320 # Red and yellow cards 603 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,960 # Made reffing more dramatic 604 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:52,840 # In 1971 605 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:56,320 # FA's rules were withdrawn 606 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,960 # Meant that we could play on 607 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:04,320 # The women's game reborn! # 608 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:05,520 And look at us now. 609 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:06,960 ALL: # It's more than goals 610 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,400 # We know that football's more than goals 611 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:11,920 # It's more than goals... 612 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,160 # Wherever you roam 613 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:19,000 # Whoever you cheer for 614 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,880 # Football feels like home 615 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,800 # Not sure what I'm here for 616 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,880 ALL: # Playground or a cup 617 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,440 # When your team is winning 618 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,040 # There's no better buzz 619 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,440 # Than when your fans are singing. # 620 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,120 CHEERING 621 00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:46,560 High-five! 622 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,080 Call yourselves gentlemen. Pah! 623 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:54,120 I'm leaving. 624 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:55,400 THEY LAUGH 625 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,800 # Best thing to play is football when you're keen on it. # 626 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,400 THEY LAUGH 627 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,160 # The past is no longer a mystery 628 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,280 # Hope you enjoyed 629 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:09,040 # Horrible Histories. # 48763

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