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["Maniac" playing]
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♪ Just a steel town girl
on a Saturday night ♪
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♪ Lookin' for the fight of her life ♪
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♪ In the real-time world
no one sees her at all ♪
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♪ They all say she's crazy ♪
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♪ It can cut you like a knife ♪
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♪ If the gift becomes the fire ♪
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♪ On a wire
between will and what will be ♪
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♪ She's a maniac
Maniac on the floor ♪
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{\an8}♪ And she's dancing like
she's never danced before ♪
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{\an8}♪ She's a maniac... ♪
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{\an8}- Oh, hello.
- Oh, you're so late.
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You're so beautiful.
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- You're beautiful.
- Call me after class.
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Morning.
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Let's have a seat, huh?
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Jessica, tell your mom
she can't send me emails like that, okay?
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It's inappropriate.
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Oh, this is fun.
What up to you guys as well.
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Oh, right... No, wait... All right.
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Everyone did the reading?
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The kids this year, I feel like
they're less woke. Did you notice that?
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They're not into being woke anymore.
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- It circled back around.
- It circled all the way around.
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Now they're for
what they say they're against.
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Right. And they're saying
the R-word again.
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You had that kid... What was he
saying about the Spanish Inquisition?
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I had to teach both sides
of the Spanish Inquisition.
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- It's so insane.
- He got upset, started crying.
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- It was a whole thing.
- I have kids that are showing me
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AI porn of Oscar Wilde
having sex with women.
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He was gay.
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Six years at this school.
Today, no Dinty Moore.
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- Dinty Moore stew?
- What is Dinty Moore?
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I can't believe
they even still make that stuff.
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Whenever I see it,
I think it's a can of dog food.
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Guess I'm dieting today,
which is good, by the way,
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'cause all these little fuckers
roaming around
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- filming everything we do...
- [both] I know.
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...and sending it off to communist China.
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What are you talking about?
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Let me ask you.
Why is the number one app in the world...
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- No politics.
- ...run by America's only enemy?
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- Didn't we say no politics?
- I did say that.
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Didn't we make a policy: no politics?
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People say they vote with their dollar.
A lot of people do.
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I vote with my dollar.
I also vote with my vote, okay?
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And I never choose who I'm gonna vote for
till after the debates.
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- That is not true.
- It's 100% true.
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- It is not true that you wait...
- Believe it, buddy, all right?
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It's called nobility of spirit.
You got it too. Deep inside.
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You just need a hot boyfriend
to spank it out of you every morning.
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Do not bring lunch from home.
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- It's not worth it this year.
- [Gwen] Wait, what?
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I can't be carrying this much shit!
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- What do you mean "this year"?
- They upgraded the lunch.
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- Look. Markie's got pecan pie.
- Who upgraded the lunch?
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Dude, you guys gotta respond
to my stock guy.
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He's got new opportunities.
I don't want you guys to miss out.
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Rick, I would politely ask you
to stop sending us those emails
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because those actually are spam,
and that guy, I think, is scamming you.
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This guy is legit.
I met him at a TED talk.
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- You went to a TED talk?
- Yeah.
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Or was it TEDx?
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It's different? What's different?
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This is why I get my paycheck in cash.
It goes right in the safe.
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That's insane. Are you stupid?
You're losing .8% each year.
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You pay taxes on that?
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Taxation is theft.
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Right. Who is that?
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[Gwen] That's the new physics teacher.
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- He's filling in for Jennifer...
- He's cool.
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...for the first semester, or the year,
if she does well on The Amazing Race.
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I can't believe she got on that show
with a hernia.
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No, I think it was a atopic baby.
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- That's not the word.
- [Grant] Evan.
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Evan, can I talk to you in my office?
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- Now?
- Yes. Come, come.
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No vaping. I can smell it.
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No, you can't.
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Here it is...
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Oh. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
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Okay. Yeah.
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- You're being investigated.
- I'm being investigated?
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- For what?
- A mom named Linda Harrison...
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- Linda Harrison?
- I know that name.
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...alleges that you kissed your boyfriend
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- in front of her son...
- Oh, my God.
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...and a whole class of other high schoolers
at the end of last school year.
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You talked to me about that
when it happened. That was nothing.
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I know. But now she's made a formal
complaint, and I have to read this.
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Wait, her kid... That kid graduated.
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He's in college now.
Why is she doing this now?
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I don't know.
Why does anybody do anything?
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Wait a minute. Linda Harrison.
I remember that name.
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That's the mom that complained
about the assigned reading.
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- Lewd content, yeah.
- Lewd content, right?
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And do you remember what the book was
that she said was lewd?
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The Great Gatsby.
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Do you know how long
that's been on the curriculum?
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- Oh, my God.
- This doesn't make sense.
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This is political.
She's doing a political move.
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Yeah, politics are real.
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Why doesn't Markie ever get investigated
for all that shit he says?
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- Who?
- Markie.
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Markie, the gym teacher. Markie.
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Mark... He can't be investigated.
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He has a protected victim status...
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- How do I get that?
- ...because he was injured
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in a car accident in his first week
of training in the ROTC,
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and he's 1/32nd Native American,
and he has paper proof of that.
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- This is insane.
- I mean, you kissed her...
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You kissed your boyfriend
in front of her son.
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- This is serious now.
- I literally was just, like...
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Just like barely... Just like...
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I don't even know if our lips touched.
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Do you understand? This is homophobia.
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- This is what homophobia's like.
- I don't care what it is.
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- It's insidious.
- I'm agoraphobic.
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So what do I do?
I just wait for my fate to be decided?
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I don't know. You can do anything. You...
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If you hand in your resignation letter,
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you could work
in a restaurant or something,
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or, you know, do a short film
with your friends.
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Join Amway. Amway is very good.
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You want me to quit this job?
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No, I don't want you to quit.
I don't want you to quit.
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She wants you to quit.
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[sighs] Look, what I want you to do is
write a statement
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in defense of your position, okay?
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- I'll submit it on your behalf.
- In defense?
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- That's what I can do.
- I'm not writing a statement.
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- This whole thing is bullshit.
- It's not bullshit.
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You're lucky they're not suspending you.
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Grant, let me ask you something.
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- Her kid... Remember that kid?
- Yeah.
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Is he gay now?
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He's in college and he's gay now, right?
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I always felt like that kid was gay.
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Just... Evan, just stop.
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- Stop. Just stop.
- I'm right? I'm right.
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She thinks I turned her kid gay.
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- Will you stop that?
- This is insane!
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Evan, just please take
the rest of the day off!
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I mean, I guess I have said this before.
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Not to, like, whatever,
but I did quit for a reason.
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I know you quit for a reason.
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I'm, like...
I really am thriving right now.
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They're, like, giving away
tech jobs in Austin.
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I've worked at the job
for, what, two months now.
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I've used my dental insurance
four times. Four times.
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I'm getting braces for, like, no reason.
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I'm not gonna quit teaching.
I can't just work in tech.
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I need a job that means
something to me, which I hate.
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Yeah. No, that... that sucks.
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Maybe if you were in a city school
here in Austin, it would be one thing,
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but these suburbs,
they're still, like, very old-fashioned.
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No, but I have to stay there
because somewhere bigoted like that
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is where you can make the most difference.
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Like, what am I doing if I'm not
trying to improve the future
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for these kids
that come through that system?
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If I just succumb to the evil intentions
of their conservative parents,
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then the kids are gonna grow up
to be exactly like them.
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- Then it's 1980 again or worse.
- Okay.
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I mean, I will just say, like,
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I wouldn't think of
all conservatives as evil.
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- I don't.
- I'm conservative at this point.
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- No, you're not.
- No, not about everything.
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- I still want social progress.
- You say it 'cause it's kitschy,
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but you're not actually a Republican.
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No, I really... It's like, I am
against a lot of what the left...
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I don't know what I am anymore.
I listen to Red Scare.
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If my very desire to fuck is...
I love this song.
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If my very desire to fuck is,
like, up for debate
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or potentially evil to them...
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I don't know. We have to do something.
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Oh, "we"? You and I?
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- You and I, us together...
- No.
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...go talk to the school board.
We're the ones who kissed.
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"We" are not even together
anymore 'cause you can't commit.
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You always act like I broke up with you.
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But I didn't break up with you.
We broke up with each other.
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I'm not going back
anywhere near that school.
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And I'm certainly not getting involved.
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On that note, if you are open to it,
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I would be down
to hang out today at your place.
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- Okay. Wow.
- I'm supposed to take
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the rest of the day off
to think about my actions.
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See, this is your whole thing.
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- [sighs] This is my thing.
- You create your own problems.
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Like this, for example.
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What happens if you get me pregnant?
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Like, are we gonna keep the baby?
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I can't raise a baby. I work in tech.
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If I get you pregnant,
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it would be a miracle.
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["Little Dark Age" playing]
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♪ Forgiving who you are ♪
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♪ For what you stand to gain ♪
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This behavior would not only be tolerated,
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but encouraged
if a straight couple did the same.
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Homophobia...
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[phone rings]
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Hello.
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00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,577
What are you doing, you little gay guy?
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00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,579
I love when you call me that. Um...
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I'm writing this official statement
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that I have to submit
for this investigation.
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What do you have so far?
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00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,879
"To Whom it may concern:
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I pecked my boyfriend on the cheek,
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perhaps making momentary
passing contact with his lips,
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00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:31,677
in front of a class of his students.
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We were in a serious relationship
at the time, and it is clear to me
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that this behavior would not
only be tolerated but encouraged
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if a straight couple did the same."
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00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,936
That's all I have.
It feels kinda defensive.
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No, no. I think that's good.
219
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,481
- You're in the right on that.
- Yeah.
220
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,941
Yeah.
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00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,359
Did you talk to Malcolm about it?
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We hooked up today, actually.
223
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,405
Oh, my God. [chuckles]
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Crazy. I didn't know
you guys did that still.
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00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,368
Yeah, barely. Sometimes.
226
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,580
Did you guys do it at the school
in front of all the students?
227
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,874
- Ha, ha, ha.
- I got you. I got you.
228
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,668
[Nick] Do you want regular or vegan pizza?
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00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,086
The vegan one.
230
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,337
Sorry, Nick's making dinner,
231
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:10,507
and he's just basically
been trying to busy himself
232
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,551
- since he lost the job.
- Mmm.
233
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,386
He's been making, like,
those Hello Fresh meals
234
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,929
that are too salty.
235
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Tell him I love him.
236
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,891
Evan says he loves you.
237
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,811
Aw. He loves you too.
238
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,063
Okay, I gotta... I gotta go.
I love you so much.
239
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,232
Okay, love you. Bye.
240
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,192
["Nirvana" playing]
241
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:31,028
[sighs]
242
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,613
♪ I get lost in the night
and I'm with you ♪
243
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,658
♪ A thousand times ♪
244
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:40,996
♪ Ooh, you love me right
in Nirvana, so fast ♪
245
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,915
♪ You're the best part of a sad song ♪
246
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:48,295
♪ You got me all out of breath
Too fast ♪
247
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,006
♪ And I miss you when I'm going home ♪
248
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:55,469
♪ And I've been running in circles again ♪
249
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,138
♪ But I swear that I can feel the end ♪
250
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,850
♪ If I'm not in Nirvana ♪
251
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,270
♪ You're not out of my head ♪
252
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:15,573
♪ I've been out there running
like a lonely soul on fire ♪
253
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,992
♪ Everybody's talking ♪
254
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:22,121
♪ And I can't get through the night ♪
255
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:29,879
♪ Somewhere in the middle
Did it ever cross your mind? ♪
256
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,466
♪ I get lost in the night
and I'm with you ♪
257
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,844
♪ A thousand times, ooh... ♪
258
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,304
Ow! Jesus!
259
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,223
Think fast, Marquez. Come on, man.
260
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:44,267
You can't just throw a ball at me
and then say "think fast."
261
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:47,187
I can't anticipate a ball
that just appears out of nowhere.
262
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,648
- Working on your defense statement, I see.
- I'm not allowed...
263
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,233
That's a piece of shit. I can tell.
264
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,276
How do you know I have to write
a defense statement?
265
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:56,029
Because I know things, man.
I got my ear to the grindstone.
266
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:58,907
You know it's "nose to the grindstone"
or "ear to the ground"?
267
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,827
No, it could be whatever you want.
I got my finger on the pulse, okay?
268
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,370
- That's correct.
- Okay.
269
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:07,541
Put this in there: "I am being targeted
for harassment because I"... You...
270
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,835
"I am a proud gay man."
271
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,753
I'm not that proud.
272
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,840
You gotta fight fire with fire
these days, Marquez.
273
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,966
Life's not a fucking poem.
274
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,176
- It's a full-contact sport.
- Ow. Jesus.
275
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,719
I'm just saying, man, like...
276
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:23,140
These kids, they want the power
they feel when they get you in trouble.
277
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,891
They're the inmates
who wanna run the asylum...
278
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:25,976
It's not a bad point.
279
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:29,312
But the thing is the kid is not trying
to get power in the situation.
280
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,481
It's his mother.
281
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:33,651
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Linda Harrison.
282
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,986
Oh, God. I'm not supposed to tell you.
283
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,654
- It's her son?
- I was supposed to...
284
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,239
- He took your class...
- ...keep it anonymous.
285
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,533
Holy shit, dude. She's saying
because her son's gay, right?
286
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,243
- I didn't turn her son gay.
- I'm not...
287
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:44,578
Well, you're sure about that?
288
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:47,998
It doesn't work that way, Markie.
You can't turn people gay.
289
00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:49,791
I'm not saying you did it on purpose,
290
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:53,171
but, look, he sees you being you
and thinks, "That's how I wanna be."
291
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:57,049
That's how I felt the first time
I saw Jose Canseco in person.
292
00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,759
- Who is Jose...
- There he is.
293
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,678
Eric "Not-So-Speedy" Gonzalez.
294
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,263
17:51.
295
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,348
Wow.
296
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,352
[Monica] ...which is why
I think this whole book
297
00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:11,730
and the idea of people
being spied on 24/7 is bullshit.
298
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,982
- Don't curse.
- This is book club. It's fine.
299
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,985
- It's not actual class.
- Still technically school.
300
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:19,238
This is coming from our teacher
who's being investigated?
301
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,407
How do you know that?
302
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,534
Come on. Everybody knows this.
303
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:26,703
You kissed your little boyfriend
in front of the students.
304
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:30,415
Well, whatever I did or didn't do,
I'm not gonna talk about it with you guys.
305
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,918
Just claim they're attacking you
because you're Hispanic
306
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,295
- and they have a racist agenda.
- That has nothing to do with it.
307
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,547
Hispanic would never work anyway
because they can do, like,
308
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,674
one of those DNA tests and disprove it.
309
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,760
Oh, my God, Becca. He is Hispanic.
310
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,678
- In what way?
- His mom's from Colombia.
311
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,014
That's not Hispanic.
Hispanic means Mexican.
312
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,807
- I'm calling the cops.
- You're bullying me.
313
00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:49,768
You're bullying me
'cause I told you not to talk to me.
314
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,102
Look, Mr. Marquez.
315
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:54,147
You're gay, you're Hispanic.
This is a slam dunk here!
316
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,900
Gay doesn't count anymore.
And he talks like a straight white guy.
317
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,443
I think your voice is a little gay.
318
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,403
- Actually really gay.
- Oh, thanks.
319
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,197
If they're gonna get you,
they're gonna get you.
320
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:03,865
There's nothing you can do about it.
321
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,742
They got me,
and I had everything going for me.
322
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,161
Jeff, they got you for selling molly
at junior prom.
323
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,038
I was doing it as a bit.
324
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,540
And they've all been trying to get me
325
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,876
since the first time
I wore those camo overalls,
326
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:17,671
- which I was also doing as a bit.
- Jeff, what do you mean by "bit"?
327
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:20,674
Just something I'm doing
and I really mean it.
328
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:22,842
- That's not right.
- Why would you stay at a job
329
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:24,761
- if they're treating you like this?
- Exactly.
330
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,555
Because this job is important to me.
331
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:29,474
I like watching young kids bloom and grow.
332
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,685
Don't say that at your trial, okay?
It sounds creepy.
333
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,895
There's not gonna be a trial, okay?
334
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,523
You guys are fucking...
You're freaking me out.
335
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,067
- [student] You just said the F-word!
- [Monica] No cursing at school.
336
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,819
[Evan] Okay. That's our time.
337
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,821
Hopefully, we can be
more productive next week
338
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,531
when your essays are due.
339
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:45,616
Thank you.
340
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,909
Mr. Marquez, look.
341
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,744
We're on your side, okay?
342
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,873
Fuck those people who don't like
little gay kisses, you know?
343
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,383
Look.
344
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:06,011
New physics teacher hasn't learned
to not eat the nachos yet.
345
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,972
[Gwen] He's gonna find out soon enough.
In the bathroom.
346
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,266
I heard... Oh, God. There's bone in that.
347
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,101
I heard he won, like,
best teacher in the state
348
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,854
or something in Louisiana.
349
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,697
Hey, Froot Loop! Froot Loop!
350
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:29,034
- You can't call me Froot Loop, Markie.
- It's just the name of a cereal.
351
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,744
Then why don't you say "Cheerios"?
352
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:32,245
There ain't nothing gay about Cheerios.
353
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:33,913
- Listen. Evan, listen.
- What, Markie? What?
354
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:35,498
You're never gonna believe this, okay?
355
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:38,251
My students, they want me
to explain non-binary.
356
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,170
What does that have to do with me?
357
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,921
You're gonna give the speech.
It's your lucky day.
358
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,882
- No, I'm not!
- You know you want this.
359
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,175
- No!
- This is your hero moment.
360
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:46,843
- Come on, buddy.
- Markie...
361
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:49,304
Opportunity knocks. Who's home?
362
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,264
- Evan's home. Evan, please.
- I'm not doing this.
363
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,308
You're gonna ask me three more times.
It's not happening!
364
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,894
All right, everyone, listen up.
This is Mr. Marquez.
365
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,229
He is here to teach you all
about non-binary.
366
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,565
He is our very special gay guest.
367
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,360
Clap. Clap for him now, everyone.
368
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,278
- Clap.
- Gwen, what are you doing here?
369
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,614
- Supervising. I'm covering.
- Don't you have a class?
370
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,407
- No, no.
- Why don't you teach it to them?
371
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,242
- You're the expert.
- I'm the expert?
372
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,745
I'm not... I'm binary.
373
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,122
- What?
- Doesn't mean what you think.
374
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,249
- You are losing 'em, dude.
- Okay. Hello, class.
375
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,668
My name is Mr. Marquez.
376
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:22,754
I am a teacher here at school
that many of you know,
377
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,589
and I'm here to talk to you today
378
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:27,717
about a subject that I think you all,
like, know about already
379
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,135
because you're all on Tumblr...
380
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:31,054
- [Malachai] Tumblr is dead.
- You're all on the Internet,
381
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,306
you're on TikTok and Instagram,
and you know this stuff,
382
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,392
so I don't know why
you're asking me to explain it.
383
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:37,560
But a non-binary person, right,
is just somebody
384
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,813
who does not identify as male or female.
385
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:40,939
Like a hermaphrodite.
386
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,649
- No, not at all.
- Yes.
387
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,317
And that word
is not in use anymore, is it?
388
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,777
- I...
- Is it?
389
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,571
- I don't know. I...
- It's very simple, okay?
390
00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,490
Your teachers this year,
we all had to state our pronouns
391
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,659
- before class, right?
- We know all this.
392
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,494
Then why did you ask me
to explain it to you?
393
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,122
You have been set up, hundred percent.
394
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,957
Yeah, like, we've been recording you
this entire time.
395
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,750
See, you were supposed to fail
at explaining it
396
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,335
'cause you're, like, horrible with words.
397
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:03,878
So that was finna go everywhere online.
398
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,755
Oh, my God.
399
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:08,091
They just wanted to fucking film you
talking about it.
400
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,801
- That is so...
- [Evan] That is very nefarious.
401
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,261
This isn't right.
402
00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:14,139
Please don't film your teachers
doing things like this, him or me.
403
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:17,517
I know he's worse than me,
but I don't need this on the Internet.
404
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,978
- Please don't put that on...
- [student] I feel attacked right now.
405
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,189
- You feel like what?
- I feel attacked right now.
406
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,024
I feel attacked!
407
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:27,902
Here's my statement.
408
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,196
I also wanna say in conjunction with this
409
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,240
that this whole thing
is very messed up, okay?
410
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,783
This has messed up
the beginning of my year.
411
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,827
- It's...
- What's this in regards to?
412
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,663
What's... The investigation into
this completely innocuous thing.
413
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,290
Oh, my God. Evan...
414
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,667
Expressing love
to my life partner at the time.
415
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,879
Evan, the investigation is over.
Sorry. I forgot to tell you.
416
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,214
I forgot to tell you.
417
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,259
What the fuck are you talking about?
418
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,511
The mom dropped the whole case.
The whole thing.
419
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,263
Done. Gone. Boom.
420
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:56,973
- What?
- Well, she...
421
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:59,184
Well, apparently Markie talked to her.
422
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,603
- Markie talked to her?
- Yeah, they're close.
423
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:04,731
I don't know how, but yeah,
he talked some sense into her.
424
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:07,859
It's... done.
425
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:08,944
Yeah.
426
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,031
Oh, my God.
427
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,991
Um, no, but there is one thing.
428
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,577
The district did say... did say one thing.
429
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:18,788
Let me find it.
430
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:24,126
That you are strictly forbidden
from dating...
431
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,920
That you are strictly...
That you are strictly forbidden
432
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:29,631
from dating faculty from now on.
433
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,050
Hmm? You'll be fired, otherwise.
434
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,843
You're okay with that, right?
435
00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:34,929
Yeah.
436
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:40,850
You should read my statement.
I spent all week on it. It's really good.
437
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:42,853
Oh. Uh, sure. Yeah.
438
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,856
Oh, "To whom it may concern..."
439
00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:50,026
"Gestapo" usually comes with a capital.
440
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,278
But it's really good. Really good.
441
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:57,034
[paper shredder whirs]
442
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,912
Markie. Markie.
443
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,413
You talked to the mom. This is incredible.
444
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,165
Oh, dude, yeah. Don't even sweat that.
445
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,084
I've known Loudmouth Harrison for years.
446
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,045
We used to call her Bass Mouth.
You wanna get a hook in there, don't you?
447
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:12,131
This is phenomenal. Oh, my God.
The relief I am feeling.
448
00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:14,050
Not a problem. You help me, I help you.
449
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,635
What happened? What did you say to her?
450
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:18,221
I walked into the country club
where she frequents,
451
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,056
caught her three martinis in and said,
452
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:23,394
"Hey, back off, or I'ma tell everyone here
that your son is gay."
453
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,063
- You what?
- I mean, he is gay.
454
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,232
It's not lying. You know, it's
just hitting her with the truth.
455
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,900
Some people can't handle that shit.
456
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:34,112
No, you can't use homophobia
to fight homophobia.
457
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,614
- We work with the tools we have.
- No.
458
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,450
What's the big deal? I did you a...
Come on. Are you mad?
459
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,536
The big deal is I wanted
to win this for real, Markie,
460
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,413
- not with threats from you.
- It's not a threat.
461
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:46,833
They're all gonna find out eventually.
I just offered to expedite the process.
462
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,127
I... This is about principles, Markie.
463
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:53,715
This is about my right to exist
as a man in the modern world
464
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:56,050
without being harassed by women like this.
465
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:58,971
This is about ethics and... and ideals.
466
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:00,973
Wake up, Evan!
467
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:04,976
No one gives a shit about
your highfalutin ideals, bro. Okay?
468
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,270
Seriously. Life is a football game,
469
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,898
and you keep showing up
in a goddamn tutu, all right?
470
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,983
We were down, fourth and one.
471
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,235
I called the play, quarterback sneak.
472
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,112
Now we got a new set of downs,
473
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:19,033
and you can go stand behind
a bent-over dude again, all right?
474
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:23,453
I saved your job, man,
because you're a friend.
475
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,079
That's what friends do.
476
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:29,292
We help each other out, and if that's
not part of your fucking code,
477
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,379
then I don't know
what else to say to you, dude.
478
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:43,641
I don't understand the football stuff
you were saying...
479
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:45,726
but...
480
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,436
thanks.
481
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:49,772
- Thank you.
- Wait, hold up.
482
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:51,440
All right.
483
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,275
Hey, anytime.
484
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,070
See? Anytime.
485
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:57,655
I got you,
486
00:19:58,322 --> 00:19:59,323
Froot Loop.
487
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:00,907
[door slams]
488
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:03,409
["You and I" playing]
489
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:06,621
♪ But you're a liar if you say
that you're fine ♪
490
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,289
♪ Bet you wonder if I think of you now ♪
491
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,041
[Rick] Evan! What up?
492
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,751
Have you met Harry, the new guy?
493
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,378
He's looking for some dry erasers.
494
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,630
Kids keep drawing bubble butts
on his board.
495
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,965
This guy hoards everything.
496
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,466
[Evan chuckles]
497
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,093
I do have an extra eraser.
498
00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:21,928
Hey, I actually forgot
to introduce myself.
499
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,846
- I'm Evan Marquez.
- Hi, Harry Daughtler.
500
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,014
- I...
- Nice.
501
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,766
Gwen said you're from Louisiana.
502
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,351
Yeah.
503
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,019
My home got destroyed in the storm so...
504
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,562
Oh, wow.
505
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:34,399
Tryna build a new home here, you know?
506
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,317
That's great. I'm so sorry...
507
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:38,444
It's not great. I'm sorry about the storm.
508
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,322
It sucked. [chuckles]
509
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:43,158
I like your shirt.
510
00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:45,869
This white shirt?
511
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,080
Yeah.
512
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:54,712
♪ You and I ♪
513
00:20:55,879 --> 00:20:57,880
♪ You don't wanna talk about it ♪
514
00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:59,382
♪ You don't wanna talk about ♪
515
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:02,720
♪ You and I ♪
516
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:05,471
♪ We don't ever talk about it ♪
517
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,181
♪ But in my head ♪
518
00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:10,351
♪ Oh, you say
Say you still want it ♪
519
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:14,189
♪ That you're done with being lonely now ♪
520
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:18,402
♪ It's you and I ♪
521
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:22,406
♪ You and I ♪
42405
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