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1
00:00:09,193 --> 00:00:12,605
Good evening.
Good evening, good evening.
2
00:00:12,734 --> 00:00:14,358
Hello, chaps.
3
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,606
Thank you for coming.
4
00:00:20,859 --> 00:00:25,646
Now then, we have a long way to go,
so...er...keep your powder dry.
5
00:00:27,234 --> 00:00:30,267
Righty-ho...settle down, now.
6
00:00:34,816 --> 00:00:37,351
1...2...3...
7
00:00:37,483 --> 00:00:45,221
# I'm mad about the boy
8
00:00:46,398 --> 00:00:52,312
# I know it's stupid to be
mad about the boy
9
00:00:54,023 --> 00:00:58,515
# I'm so ashamed of it,
but must admit
10
00:00:58,648 --> 00:01:05,604
# The sleepless nights
I've had about the boy
11
00:01:08,773 --> 00:01:12,553
# On the silver screen
12
00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:18,721
# He melts my foolish heart
in every single scene
13
00:01:20,855 --> 00:01:23,639
# Although I'm quite aware
14
00:01:23,772 --> 00:01:32,138
# That here and there are traces...
of the cad about the boy
15
00:01:35,646 --> 00:01:40,552
# And Lord knows, I'm not a fool girl
16
00:01:42,521 --> 00:01:47,343
# I really shouldn't care
17
00:01:49,436 --> 00:01:53,216
# Lord knows, I'm not a schoolgirl
18
00:01:53,353 --> 00:02:00,392
# In the flurry of her first affair
19
00:02:02,061 --> 00:02:11,470
# Will it ever cloy, this odd diversity
of misery and joy?
20
00:02:13,352 --> 00:02:18,222
# I'm feeling quite insane
and young again
21
00:02:18,352 --> 00:02:25,640
# And all because I'm mad
about the boy
22
00:02:40,517 --> 00:02:44,889
# I'm feeling quite insane
and young again
23
00:02:45,016 --> 00:02:49,922
# And all because I'm...
24
00:02:51,225 --> 00:02:57,091
# ...mad about the boy #
25
00:03:12,848 --> 00:03:16,427
- She's the first lady racer.
- But she didn't actually win.
26
00:03:16,556 --> 00:03:20,929
She crossed the line first.
It's so exciting.
27
00:03:21,056 --> 00:03:23,426
Not nearly as exciting
as crossing your mother.
28
00:03:23,555 --> 00:03:26,044
I think we can all ignore that.
29
00:03:26,181 --> 00:03:29,213
Oh, what is that man doing?
30
00:03:33,597 --> 00:03:34,923
Jackson!
31
00:03:35,055 --> 00:03:37,211
- Madam?
- What did I tell you?
32
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:41,553
Put the camellias by the front door
before the guests arrive!
33
00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,137
- Furber.
- Madam?
34
00:03:43,262 --> 00:03:46,925
Salvage any of Jackson's appalling
pruning and send it to Mrs Holborough
35
00:03:47,054 --> 00:03:51,925
who's kindly offered up a leg of mutton
for dinner, which you'll fetch, Marion.
36
00:03:52,054 --> 00:03:55,052
But Reverend Burton has asked me
to drain the font.
37
00:03:55,179 --> 00:03:58,461
- My hands are clearly full.
- I'll go.
38
00:03:58,595 --> 00:04:01,878
Uncle George has posted
the most grizzly clippings
39
00:04:02,012 --> 00:04:03,718
of the Valentine's Day Massacre!
40
00:04:03,845 --> 00:04:05,088
Hilda.
41
00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:09,793
Seven terrified men cut down
in a hail of automatic gun fire!
42
00:04:09,928 --> 00:04:14,171
Made worse by the strays that
came to lap the curdled blood.
43
00:04:14,302 --> 00:04:17,751
- Hilda...
- The Devil Dogs! The Hounds of Hell!
44
00:04:17,886 --> 00:04:20,635
The leg of lamb! Now.
45
00:04:25,010 --> 00:04:30,378
Why we try and marry her off to gentry
when plainly she'd prefer an undertaker.
46
00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:34,503
Seating. I'm putting Sarah on your left
and Philip on your right,
47
00:04:34,635 --> 00:04:37,301
so please try and make an effort
to be civil.
48
00:04:37,426 --> 00:04:42,048
Right...l shall go and brush up
on my very small talk.
49
00:04:43,343 --> 00:04:45,582
It might be an awkward meal.
50
00:04:45,717 --> 00:04:49,497
For all we know Sarah's grazing
in greener pastures.
51
00:04:49,634 --> 00:04:54,670
Whilst your brother sows his wild oats
in the South of France with his floozy?
52
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:59,955
No. We'll keep the home fires burning
until his highness wanders home.
53
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:01,881
Hmm. Like father did?
54
00:05:02,008 --> 00:05:04,579
Yes. Like your father did.
55
00:05:14,924 --> 00:05:17,128
I've got news, everybody!
56
00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:21,372
- You all right, sir?
- No. Are you?
57
00:05:21,507 --> 00:05:24,291
- Coping, sir.
- Hear, hear. Well done.
58
00:05:24,423 --> 00:05:27,374
Well done? They look like
they're waiting for a firing squad.
59
00:05:27,507 --> 00:05:31,879
- Can't you make them more relaxed?
- Last meal and a cigarette, perhaps?
60
00:05:32,006 --> 00:05:36,213
I can't believe it. You'll never guess.
61
00:05:36,339 --> 00:05:40,202
Houdini escaped the Chinese water
torture only to die of a burst appendix.
62
00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:43,668
How ghastly!
Oh, and Mother's got a telegram.
63
00:05:45,005 --> 00:05:47,210
"Mr and Mrs Whittaker". Your mother.
64
00:05:48,588 --> 00:05:50,662
What's it say, Father?
65
00:05:51,630 --> 00:05:53,917
Perhaps your mother
should read this first.
66
00:05:54,046 --> 00:05:58,786
Oh! That stupid, stupid, stupid boy!
67
00:05:58,921 --> 00:06:01,835
What's happened?
Has there been an accident?
68
00:06:01,963 --> 00:06:04,996
- It's John, he's married that f-f-f...
- Francophile?
69
00:06:05,129 --> 00:06:07,534
- F-f-f...
- Photographer?
70
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:10,372
- Pharmacist?
- Why are you smirking?
71
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,668
Deploying a smile. One member
of this family may actually be happy.
72
00:06:13,795 --> 00:06:17,492
Don't be absurd! We don't know
anything about this woman. Furber!
73
00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:19,335
Furber!
74
00:06:19,461 --> 00:06:22,033
- Oh, not again!
- Madam.
75
00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:24,243
Lord have mercy.
76
00:06:24,378 --> 00:06:27,992
Mister John is coming home with his...
with his wife.
77
00:06:28,127 --> 00:06:30,451
Yes. Their bags have just arrived.
Congratulations, Madam.
78
00:06:30,586 --> 00:06:34,449
I'll be the judge of that. Clear up this
mess and get Cook to send up a ham.
79
00:06:34,585 --> 00:06:38,579
- This is from Dover. They'll be half way.
- Yes, Furber. Dress the mutton as ham.
80
00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:40,867
Very sharp,
don't cut yourself.
81
00:06:41,002 --> 00:06:43,537
John married the floozy.
How exciting!
82
00:06:56,918 --> 00:07:01,409
# A room with a view and you
83
00:07:01,543 --> 00:07:04,457
# And no one to worry us
84
00:07:04,583 --> 00:07:10,532
# No one to hurry us through
...this dream we found #
85
00:07:13,208 --> 00:07:16,787
There she blows.
Behold the country cottage.
86
00:07:16,916 --> 00:07:18,990
Oh, Lord, it's enormous.
87
00:07:19,124 --> 00:07:23,070
So, I lied about gingerbread hedges
and obese little children.
88
00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:26,739
- How hard to swim is the moat?
- Smoke and mirrors, darling.
89
00:07:26,874 --> 00:07:28,781
Smoke and mirrors.
90
00:07:31,249 --> 00:07:35,029
Oh, by the by, smoking...don't.
Apparently it wilts the azaleas.
91
00:07:35,165 --> 00:07:38,826
- That makes no sense. Speak English.
- All will be revealed, darling.
92
00:07:40,915 --> 00:07:45,536
Oh, give me back the wheel of my car.
I'm going back to Detroit!
93
00:07:50,872 --> 00:07:52,779
How romantic!
94
00:07:52,914 --> 00:07:56,078
Here they come! Oh, Furber!
95
00:07:56,206 --> 00:07:58,694
Mister John and his wife
are about to arrive.
96
00:07:58,831 --> 00:08:01,698
- I can't see them.
- Your tunnel vision.
97
00:08:04,664 --> 00:08:05,824
Ooh!
98
00:08:10,288 --> 00:08:13,285
- Smile, Marion.
- I don't feel like smiling.
99
00:08:13,412 --> 00:08:14,989
You're English, dear. Fake it.
100
00:08:24,745 --> 00:08:28,111
The prodigal son returns
in a blaze of gravel.
101
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:30,531
Father! You shaved.
102
00:08:33,245 --> 00:08:35,863
Welcome, Madam.
103
00:08:35,994 --> 00:08:38,743
You look gorgeous.
104
00:08:38,869 --> 00:08:40,990
It's so lovely to see you.
105
00:08:45,661 --> 00:08:48,113
Oh, darling. Sorry, sorry!
106
00:08:50,786 --> 00:08:53,274
This is my wife, Larita.
107
00:08:54,369 --> 00:08:57,650
Mrs Whittaker, the pleasure is all mine.
108
00:08:57,785 --> 00:08:59,325
Oh, you're American.
109
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:02,200
- And very welcome. Jim Whittaker.
- This is my father.
110
00:09:02,326 --> 00:09:04,945
I fought alongside many
of your countrymen, Larita,
111
00:09:05,076 --> 00:09:07,743
and I must say it's an honour
to have a comrade in the family.
112
00:09:07,867 --> 00:09:11,031
Thank you.
I do hope I'm not a disappointment.
113
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,612
- Far from it.
- And my two little blisters.
114
00:09:13,742 --> 00:09:15,400
Hilda and Marion.
115
00:09:15,534 --> 00:09:18,200
Aren't you the woman
who won the Grand Prix?
116
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,984
First place, before disqualification.
117
00:09:20,117 --> 00:09:24,110
Apparently you need chest hair
to change gears in Monaco.
118
00:09:24,242 --> 00:09:28,152
I saw you in the paper.
I cut your head out. I could just die!
119
00:09:29,991 --> 00:09:33,937
Furber, that suitcase
to the drawing room, and do be careful.
120
00:09:34,075 --> 00:09:37,191
Marion... Golly, you're not a bit
like what we imagined.
121
00:09:37,324 --> 00:09:40,239
Somewhat older, I expect.
Awfully sorry about that.
122
00:09:42,991 --> 00:09:45,277
Before the frostbite sets in...
123
00:09:45,407 --> 00:09:49,696
I'm looking forward to getting acquainted
with the mother of my "Panda".
124
00:09:49,824 --> 00:09:52,857
You'll find me quite uncomplicated,
I'm afraid.
125
00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:54,980
Oh! What are you doing?
126
00:09:55,115 --> 00:09:57,271
Carrying you over the finish line.
127
00:10:01,323 --> 00:10:04,404
Venus de Milo meet my Venus Detroit.
128
00:10:04,531 --> 00:10:06,072
Oh, hello.
129
00:10:06,197 --> 00:10:08,520
Mother's turned our old nursery
into a boudoir.
130
00:10:08,656 --> 00:10:10,730
I wouldn't exactly call it a boudoir, Hilda.
131
00:10:10,863 --> 00:10:14,027
Marvellous. All those grubby memories
of Little Johnnie.
132
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,229
We had no time
to raid the hothouse.
133
00:10:16,364 --> 00:10:18,603
I only hope we can make you
comfortable.
134
00:10:18,738 --> 00:10:21,938
Don't go to any trouble.
We're only staying a few days.
135
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,436
- Aren't we, Johnnie?
- Of course.
136
00:10:26,571 --> 00:10:28,857
And for our next surprise...
137
00:10:32,779 --> 00:10:35,647
What on earth is that?
138
00:10:36,946 --> 00:10:39,481
His master's voice!
A wedding gift from us to you all.
139
00:10:39,612 --> 00:10:43,226
How divine! You should've
got married years ago!
140
00:10:43,362 --> 00:10:50,317
# ...another June,
another sunny honeymoon
141
00:10:50,444 --> 00:10:56,559
# Another season, another reason
for making whoopee... #
142
00:10:58,736 --> 00:11:01,059
Come on, little blister. Twirl for me.
143
00:11:07,111 --> 00:11:11,980
Oh, a Continental education.
Not all of us have been so fortunate.
144
00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:15,273
An emotional depiction of the French
postal service, Mrs Whittaker.
145
00:11:15,402 --> 00:11:18,234
Come now, not Mrs Whittaker.
It's "Mother" now.
146
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,228
I don't think we're quite ready
for that yet.
147
00:11:21,359 --> 00:11:27,557
Since time is so clearly against us, why
don't you show Larita up to the nursery?
148
00:11:27,693 --> 00:11:30,181
Dinner's at 8:00.
149
00:11:30,317 --> 00:11:33,351
- You didn't tell them?
- One bombshell at a time, darling.
150
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:38,022
That's not fair! Your poor mother.
How long are we staying?
151
00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:40,058
A few days?
152
00:11:40,191 --> 00:11:45,014
I shoulder the shortcomings of this family
and what do I get in return? A few days!
153
00:11:45,149 --> 00:11:47,851
Look at her. What am I supposed
to do with the bauble of a woman?
154
00:11:47,983 --> 00:11:50,139
- Hang her?
- I think she's splendid.
155
00:11:50,275 --> 00:11:53,853
- Do you, Hilda? Well, we can all relax.
- She's not what I expected.
156
00:11:53,983 --> 00:11:55,724
She's exactly
what I expected.
157
00:11:55,858 --> 00:11:59,305
- Surely not exactly? She wasn't drunk.
- Oh, very funny, Jim.
158
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:03,055
- Reduce this to the burlesque.
- She looks so expensive!
159
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,643
- Very.
- Hmm. I like her.
160
00:12:05,773 --> 00:12:08,475
Yes, Jim. We all know what you like.
161
00:12:08,606 --> 00:12:09,981
Mother!
162
00:12:16,815 --> 00:12:19,385
Oh, we have all been sent
to our "wombs".
163
00:12:21,689 --> 00:12:24,805
- And so toasty.
- Economics in action.
164
00:12:24,939 --> 00:12:27,890
She keeps half the house closed
to save on heating.
165
00:12:28,022 --> 00:12:30,641
That explains the frosty reception.
166
00:12:30,772 --> 00:12:34,102
Well, darling. Let me warm you up.
167
00:12:56,562 --> 00:12:59,476
- Well?
- She's lovely, I'm very proud of you.
168
00:12:59,603 --> 00:13:01,428
Thanks, Father.
169
00:13:01,562 --> 00:13:05,721
John? How long is a few days?
170
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:08,934
Mother, Larita and I would like
to find a home in London.
171
00:13:09,061 --> 00:13:12,758
- But this is your home.
- A home of their own.
172
00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:17,180
But Panda, we need you here.
173
00:13:17,310 --> 00:13:21,684
Since you went off around the Riviera,
we've had to let go of six more people.
174
00:13:21,810 --> 00:13:24,050
lf you'd just listened to me
and taken on some machinery.
175
00:13:24,185 --> 00:13:27,597
Wouldn't that be a good idea? I could
run the entire estate single-handedly.
176
00:13:27,726 --> 00:13:31,423
Congratulations on your insight
and your spontaneity.
177
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,842
Sarah and Philip are coming to dinner
tonight, and I have got a table plan
178
00:13:34,976 --> 00:13:37,299
that will take the League
of Nations to unravel.
179
00:13:37,435 --> 00:13:42,388
- Tonight? That's absolutely splendid!
- Don't be so fickle in your affections.
180
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,804
Sarah might not be
as accommodating as you expect.
181
00:13:44,934 --> 00:13:46,889
Codswallop. She'll be delighted.
182
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:51,176
lf mother was so desperate for her hand
in marriage, she should've asked herself!
183
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,465
Strange as it may seem,
I agree with your sister.
184
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,342
I think you're wrong.
185
00:13:55,475 --> 00:13:58,887
On certain things, yes. Call her.
186
00:13:59,016 --> 00:14:00,722
- Really?
- Really.
187
00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:05,092
Really! lf Edgar were here,
he'd do the manly thing.
188
00:14:05,224 --> 00:14:07,713
What? Run away?
189
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:13,632
Here they come!
190
00:14:28,056 --> 00:14:31,920
And the chequered flag goes to...
Fast work, John!
191
00:14:32,056 --> 00:14:36,215
I should've written, but it happened
so fast, I didn't know where I was.
192
00:14:36,347 --> 00:14:38,552
In Larita's arms, it seems.
193
00:14:38,681 --> 00:14:41,962
- Please don't be disappointed.
- Of course I'm disappointed.
194
00:14:42,097 --> 00:14:45,011
But tell me you're happy,
and I'll tell you you're forgiven.
195
00:14:45,139 --> 00:14:48,753
# You're the top,
you're Mahatma Gandhi! #
196
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,459
Panda, don't break out
the brandy just yet.
197
00:14:51,596 --> 00:14:53,338
The hell we're not.
198
00:14:53,471 --> 00:14:57,547
- Have I missed something?
- Let sleeping cows stand.
199
00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,587
Oh, you plonker!
200
00:14:59,721 --> 00:15:02,802
Rule one, push sleeping cow.
201
00:15:02,929 --> 00:15:05,334
Rule two, get out of the way.
202
00:15:05,470 --> 00:15:08,042
Rule three, remember rule two.
203
00:15:08,178 --> 00:15:10,750
Sarah!
It's so lovely to see you.
204
00:15:10,887 --> 00:15:13,173
I hear your poor father
is not having a good day.
205
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:15,874
I'm afraid not. He sends his love.
206
00:15:16,012 --> 00:15:19,423
You are a jolly good sport,
turning up like this, that's all I can say.
207
00:15:19,553 --> 00:15:22,800
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Larita is such a pretty name.
208
00:15:22,928 --> 00:15:26,340
Yes. Excellent for musical comedy.
Hilda!
209
00:15:26,469 --> 00:15:29,586
- I hear the cow's in a terrible way.
- I've sent flowers.
210
00:15:29,719 --> 00:15:31,923
And did she eat them?
Touche!
211
00:15:32,052 --> 00:15:33,877
Good evening to you all.
212
00:15:34,719 --> 00:15:36,756
Nobody told me tonight
was fancy dress!
213
00:15:36,885 --> 00:15:39,919
Then why have you come
as the village idiot?
214
00:15:41,468 --> 00:15:43,873
I think I'm snagged.
215
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:46,249
Let me help you with that.
216
00:15:48,968 --> 00:15:50,709
Holy mother!
217
00:15:51,926 --> 00:15:57,127
Panda? You're forgiven...tenfold.
218
00:16:02,509 --> 00:16:08,623
Sarah Hurst, I'd like to introduce
my wife, Larita Whittaker.
219
00:16:08,758 --> 00:16:11,792
Gosh, I do like the sound of that.
220
00:16:11,925 --> 00:16:14,129
Sarah...finally.
221
00:16:14,258 --> 00:16:17,872
- Johnnie talks about you constantly.
- How very annoying for you.
222
00:16:18,008 --> 00:16:23,044
- I hope we can be friends.
- We already are. Congratulations.
223
00:16:23,174 --> 00:16:26,171
Er...I'd like to be friends, too.
224
00:16:26,299 --> 00:16:29,960
- Larita, my tiresome brother...
- The dishonourable Philip Hurst.
225
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,496
Charmed, my dear lady.
Indeed.
226
00:16:32,632 --> 00:16:35,037
Philip, won't you escort me in?
227
00:16:35,173 --> 00:16:38,420
Of course,
my beautiful, little Sausage Fingers.
228
00:16:38,548 --> 00:16:41,167
That's whet my appetite.
Shall we adjourn to the dining room?
229
00:16:41,298 --> 00:16:43,288
And toast my beautiful bride.
230
00:16:43,423 --> 00:16:46,124
Had we known there was to be
a wedding reception,
231
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,744
we could've lashed out on taffeta!
232
00:16:48,881 --> 00:16:52,708
quite pleasant once you stop struggling.
233
00:16:52,839 --> 00:16:57,046
So, John, was Larita's
family able to attend the wedding?
234
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,456
More cabbage, Madam?
235
00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:08,207
There's lots to do, Larita.
You ride, don't you?
236
00:17:08,338 --> 00:17:10,661
Boats, cars or planes?
237
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:14,243
- No, horses, silly.
- Ah, yes, horses.
238
00:17:14,379 --> 00:17:17,081
Faulty steering and unreliable brakes.
239
00:17:18,421 --> 00:17:20,376
I'm stealing that for Stirrup Cup!
240
00:17:20,504 --> 00:17:22,542
- Stirrup what?
- Cup.
241
00:17:22,670 --> 00:17:25,420
Every November, Philip and Sarah's
family host the hunt.
242
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,785
Wait until you meet their father,
Lord Hurst, he's terrific.
243
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:31,748
- And Lady Hurst?
- Was terrific, until she...stopped.
244
00:17:33,837 --> 00:17:35,662
- Stopped what?
- Living.
245
00:17:36,711 --> 00:17:39,081
Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that.
246
00:17:40,211 --> 00:17:44,915
Between father's polio
and Philip's mania for tipping cows...
247
00:17:45,044 --> 00:17:47,000
Can we please just drop the cows?
248
00:17:47,127 --> 00:17:49,616
I think we'll give the fox a break
this year.
249
00:17:49,752 --> 00:17:54,125
Oh, no hunt? Mrs Winston gave me
her saddle. I've had a wax.
250
00:17:55,877 --> 00:17:59,124
Your father and I conspired to make
John the Master of the Hunt.
251
00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:02,498
People come from far and wide.
It's such a shame to disappoint them.
252
00:18:02,626 --> 00:18:04,368
Very thoughtful, Mother.
253
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:07,203
You do hunt,
I take it, Larita?
254
00:18:07,334 --> 00:18:10,416
Hypocrites, gossips
or defenceless animals?
255
00:18:10,543 --> 00:18:11,821
Bravo!
256
00:18:11,959 --> 00:18:13,997
You wouldn't get her to the start.
257
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:17,740
We have another
conscientious objector, Father.
258
00:18:17,876 --> 00:18:22,118
Company! Do you object to the circus
or the slaughter, Major?
259
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:24,656
I support Sheppard's position
on pacifism.
260
00:18:24,791 --> 00:18:28,655
Good for you.
So, when does the carnage begin?
261
00:18:28,791 --> 00:18:32,452
After the War Widow's Revue,
but before the craft fair,
262
00:18:32,583 --> 00:18:34,454
in between the Dog Show and the shoot.
263
00:18:34,583 --> 00:18:38,907
Don't forget the highlight. Mother's
Christmas dance is the hot ticket.
264
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,204
She's ordered the most exquisite
Japanese lanterns.
265
00:18:42,332 --> 00:18:44,903
- From Japan?
- No, Fortnum & Mason's.
266
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,702
Oh, yes.
Prepare for a whirlwind, Larita.
267
00:18:50,082 --> 00:18:51,788
I'm breathless already.
268
00:18:55,707 --> 00:18:58,870
I won't make it to Christmas.
You won't need to.
269
00:18:58,998 --> 00:19:01,533
I won't make it to breakfast!
What were we just eating?
270
00:19:01,664 --> 00:19:04,234
The lumpy grey and beige concoction?
271
00:19:04,372 --> 00:19:08,496
Oh, yes. That's the word
I was looking for..."greige".
272
00:19:08,622 --> 00:19:12,034
Absolutely no idea.
But it is the speciality of the house.
273
00:19:12,164 --> 00:19:15,446
Incoming! Have you met my namesake?
He's very good in bed.
274
00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:18,247
- Shh! They'll hear you.
- I don't care.
275
00:19:18,371 --> 00:19:19,995
I do.
276
00:19:21,246 --> 00:19:23,995
I know we need the heat,
but please don't smoke.
277
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:26,491
Mother's clairvoyant about these things.
278
00:19:26,621 --> 00:19:29,074
She loathes me, Johnnie.
279
00:19:29,204 --> 00:19:32,735
I'm a gold-digger, burrowing in
from the land of opportunists.
280
00:19:34,204 --> 00:19:36,692
Your father's an interesting study,
though.
281
00:19:36,829 --> 00:19:38,903
Quietly sardonic. I like that in a man.
282
00:19:39,037 --> 00:19:42,319
That won't earn you many
brownie points under this roof.
283
00:19:43,953 --> 00:19:47,532
After the Armistice,
Father didn't come straight home.
284
00:19:47,661 --> 00:19:51,074
He caroused around France and ltaly,
drinking, having affairs...
285
00:19:51,203 --> 00:19:54,651
A lot of men did similar...
couldn't settle down.
286
00:19:54,786 --> 00:19:58,151
- Why didn't she go after him?
- A question of pride.
287
00:19:58,286 --> 00:20:00,407
He finally just wandered home.
288
00:20:00,536 --> 00:20:03,735
Still a bit of a sore point.
We try not to speak about it.
289
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,278
Except in public.
290
00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:08,324
You see, she feels
she's missed out on something.
291
00:20:08,452 --> 00:20:11,022
Which means, of course,
she's missed out on everything.
292
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,608
Exactly. The war robbed her
of all her expectations.
293
00:20:14,744 --> 00:20:17,445
She takes one look
at a woman like you...
294
00:20:17,576 --> 00:20:20,823
The harlot stealing into the nursery...
295
00:20:20,951 --> 00:20:23,108
The delicious concubine...
296
00:20:23,242 --> 00:20:25,233
...with the delectable ears...
297
00:20:26,035 --> 00:20:27,527
...nose...
298
00:20:28,075 --> 00:20:29,533
...neck.
299
00:20:31,367 --> 00:20:32,859
I could just...
300
00:20:34,242 --> 00:20:35,699
...eat you.
301
00:20:35,825 --> 00:20:38,231
After that meal I'm not surprised.
302
00:20:46,533 --> 00:20:51,404
# '...I'm mad about the boy!' #
303
00:21:32,488 --> 00:21:37,145
Dear Lord, thank you for bringing
John and his floozy home safely.
304
00:21:45,821 --> 00:21:48,937
'Hmm...John!'
305
00:21:57,862 --> 00:22:01,558
- Why is Larita always so late?
- You can't hurry perfection.
306
00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:06,067
- Edgar was never late for a meal.
- He's missed a few lately.
307
00:22:06,194 --> 00:22:09,773
Good morning.
How are we all on this glorious day?
308
00:22:09,903 --> 00:22:13,599
There she is! Morning, darling.
309
00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:18,773
What would Madam like for breakfast?
310
00:22:19,527 --> 00:22:22,561
I think Madam will get more sustenance
from a kipper.
311
00:22:22,694 --> 00:22:25,940
- But it won't be as much fun.
- Aren't you riding with us?
312
00:22:26,068 --> 00:22:28,391
Darling, I think it's about high time
313
00:22:28,526 --> 00:22:32,472
that your mother and I have
an intimate tete-a-tete.
314
00:22:32,610 --> 00:22:36,057
- Just us girls.
- Lovely.
315
00:22:36,193 --> 00:22:38,598
What a frightening thought.
316
00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:48,188
Two hemispheres under one roof.
Papua New Guinea, India, the Argentine.
317
00:22:51,734 --> 00:22:54,648
I may not have travelled,
but the world has come to me.
318
00:22:54,774 --> 00:22:58,022
Are you coming down with something?
319
00:22:58,150 --> 00:23:01,349
Pollen.
But if I hold my breath long enough...
320
00:23:01,482 --> 00:23:03,224
How peculiar.
321
00:23:03,357 --> 00:23:05,644
Which is why we should
get to know one another.
322
00:23:05,774 --> 00:23:08,689
- Where does one start?
- Shall I make headway?
323
00:23:08,815 --> 00:23:12,395
I was born in Detroit.
My father worked in the steel plant.
324
00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:15,191
He was one of the first
lured over to Henry Ford.
325
00:23:15,316 --> 00:23:17,305
Ah, hence the love of motoring?
326
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,893
Yes, but I also love animals.
327
00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:22,179
I am a city girl.
I take chickens to the vet.
328
00:23:22,315 --> 00:23:23,937
Oh!
329
00:23:24,064 --> 00:23:28,189
You can't be squeamish about livestock
now that you are living in the country.
330
00:23:28,315 --> 00:23:30,389
Which was never my intention.
331
00:23:30,522 --> 00:23:33,390
I was happily carving out a niche
for myself on the race circuit
332
00:23:33,522 --> 00:23:37,812
when I was unexpectedly flagged down
by someone irresistible.
333
00:23:39,606 --> 00:23:43,469
Remarrying was the farthest thing
from my mind.
334
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:47,186
I see...
335
00:23:49,730 --> 00:23:51,471
May I ask...?
336
00:23:52,396 --> 00:23:55,975
Oh, dead, unfortunately. No children.
337
00:23:56,104 --> 00:24:00,098
Oh...
How disappointing for you.
338
00:24:00,229 --> 00:24:02,598
Still, he provided well, though?
339
00:24:02,729 --> 00:24:07,516
Yes, but there were a lot of hidden costs
associated with his passing.
340
00:24:07,645 --> 00:24:12,635
Oh, that beautiful motor car... Surely,
you must have independent means?
341
00:24:12,770 --> 00:24:15,472
I'm more than happy
to discuss my means,
342
00:24:15,603 --> 00:24:17,889
but I think you'll be a tad disappointed.
343
00:24:18,020 --> 00:24:20,389
The car is my sole source of income.
344
00:24:20,519 --> 00:24:23,683
Which makes living in London
an imperative.
345
00:24:23,811 --> 00:24:26,299
But what will John do in the city?
346
00:24:26,436 --> 00:24:28,805
Work. It's not uncommon.
347
00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:30,594
Oh!
348
00:24:31,685 --> 00:24:34,766
John was brought up in the country,
Larita.
349
00:24:34,894 --> 00:24:37,015
Where will he work?
350
00:24:37,144 --> 00:24:41,053
Chalk Farm, perhaps?
Or St-Martin-In-The-Fields?
351
00:24:41,185 --> 00:24:45,641
I know this is not perfect so that's
why I'm asking for your guidance.
352
00:24:45,768 --> 00:24:49,050
So, please, how can I make this
pleasant for everybody?
353
00:24:49,185 --> 00:24:54,007
Well, erm...wartime experience dictates
that you keep your head down
354
00:24:54,143 --> 00:24:56,097
and you fit in as well as you can.
355
00:24:56,225 --> 00:25:00,966
- Oh, there's a war on?
- Oh, no...not necessarily.
356
00:25:01,892 --> 00:25:05,055
Australian mimosa. Mmm...beautiful.
357
00:25:06,350 --> 00:25:08,636
Oh...
358
00:25:13,641 --> 00:25:17,848
And then the British troops opened fire...
How grizzly!
359
00:25:17,974 --> 00:25:21,469
- How'd it go, Mother?
- Oh, marvellous!
360
00:25:21,599 --> 00:25:22,843
Marvellous.
361
00:25:28,932 --> 00:25:31,005
Thanks for the invitation!
362
00:25:39,057 --> 00:25:41,012
Thanks for the invitation!
363
00:25:41,140 --> 00:25:43,675
Oh, it's Lord Hurst!
364
00:25:43,806 --> 00:25:46,721
I fear storm clouds are gathering,
Mrs Whit.
365
00:25:46,847 --> 00:25:48,968
Stop being maudlin, Father.
366
00:25:49,097 --> 00:25:51,254
- It's the future!
- Spanner!
367
00:25:51,389 --> 00:25:55,845
Father, allow me to introduce
Panda's new chauffeuse.
368
00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:59,633
- Lovely La-La-Larita.
- Watch it, Philip.
369
00:25:59,764 --> 00:26:03,129
My son is prone to fabrication,
but I can see on this occasion
370
00:26:03,263 --> 00:26:05,965
he has been perfectly frank,
Mrs Whittaker.
371
00:26:07,096 --> 00:26:11,090
Yes, that's right.
There are two of us now.
372
00:26:11,221 --> 00:26:13,923
No shortage of wits
around here any more.
373
00:26:14,055 --> 00:26:17,585
OK, stand back! I give you, the future!
374
00:26:22,095 --> 00:26:25,046
All right, John.
You can take my baby out for a spin.
375
00:26:26,762 --> 00:26:30,174
Ha-ha! Allergies.
She inflates like a puffer fish.
376
00:26:30,303 --> 00:26:32,839
You just want to squeeze her
until she pops.
377
00:26:32,969 --> 00:26:35,754
# ...working at the car wash
378
00:26:40,261 --> 00:26:42,666
# You might not ever strike it rich
379
00:26:44,302 --> 00:26:47,383
# But let me tell you,
it's better than digging a ditch
380
00:26:47,510 --> 00:26:50,922
# Working at the car wash!
381
00:26:51,052 --> 00:26:53,753
# Working at the car wash, man
382
00:26:53,885 --> 00:26:56,634
# Come on, now, sing it to me
383
00:26:57,676 --> 00:27:00,295
# It's better than digging a ditch... #
384
00:27:12,259 --> 00:27:15,091
The missus is a bit trigger-happy
this week.
385
00:27:15,217 --> 00:27:17,172
Bleeding tinnitus is killing me.
386
00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:21,590
I like the new Mrs Whit. Reminds me
of the old one before the war.
387
00:27:21,717 --> 00:27:24,916
Only more reasonable. You can tell
she's run her own household.
388
00:27:25,050 --> 00:27:26,756
Oh, be silent!
389
00:27:26,883 --> 00:27:30,663
Good morning,
Furber, Jackson, Millie, and...?
390
00:27:30,799 --> 00:27:33,584
Cook, I can't call you a verb.
Your name?
391
00:27:34,424 --> 00:27:35,882
Beatrice.
392
00:27:39,424 --> 00:27:43,465
All right, all right...it's Doris.
Sorry, Madam.
393
00:27:43,590 --> 00:27:46,126
Always wanted to be called Beatrice.
394
00:27:46,257 --> 00:27:50,914
Well, Beatrice, would you mind
if I helped myself in the mornings?
395
00:27:51,048 --> 00:27:54,164
I fear I shall be rising later and later.
396
00:27:54,298 --> 00:27:56,786
Well...if it pleases, Mrs Whit.
397
00:27:59,006 --> 00:28:00,878
The point of the bell?
398
00:28:01,006 --> 00:28:04,205
When I ring it, you come to me,
not the other way round!
399
00:28:05,339 --> 00:28:07,460
Larita. May I have a word?
400
00:28:08,672 --> 00:28:10,378
Come along!
401
00:28:13,297 --> 00:28:16,211
Would you please refrain
from chatting to the staff?
402
00:28:16,339 --> 00:28:19,087
It's chore enough trying to keep
this motley crew together.
403
00:28:19,214 --> 00:28:23,289
I had a brilliant French maid in Paris.
Perhaps I should send for her?
404
00:28:23,421 --> 00:28:25,826
Thank you, no...erm...
405
00:28:25,962 --> 00:28:30,336
I'd prefer to keep English
the first language in this household.
406
00:28:30,463 --> 00:28:32,085
Ah, there you are.
407
00:28:32,213 --> 00:28:34,701
I say! Anyone for tennis?
408
00:28:34,837 --> 00:28:36,165
Yes. You!
409
00:28:36,295 --> 00:28:38,701
John, Shackleton wouldn't let
a dog out today!
410
00:28:38,837 --> 00:28:40,910
The fog has lifted
and Whittakers don't do winter.
411
00:28:41,045 --> 00:28:44,292
You go ahead, darling.
I'll play with myself.
412
00:28:44,420 --> 00:28:47,536
- No, really. I'm a lot of fun.
- Ooh...
413
00:28:47,669 --> 00:28:50,371
John!
It's brass monkeys out here!
414
00:28:54,211 --> 00:28:57,790
Day one of the Antarctic Open.
Mister Whittaker to serve.
415
00:29:01,127 --> 00:29:03,332
- Hole in one!
- Deuce.
416
00:29:03,460 --> 00:29:07,406
I see your pair of deuces
and I raise you a tenner.
417
00:29:07,543 --> 00:29:10,494
The Titanic could have hit that!
418
00:29:10,627 --> 00:29:14,537
Sarah, you're an embarrassment to
the family name. I'll have you killed.
419
00:29:14,668 --> 00:29:18,365
Good God! What's wrong with you?
No! Stop now!
420
00:29:18,502 --> 00:29:21,701
- Stop, everybody! Listen!
- Shoot the court jester!
421
00:29:21,834 --> 00:29:25,780
- Nice backhand!
- ls that a backhand compliment?
422
00:29:25,918 --> 00:29:29,117
# Mad dogs and Englishmen
go out in the midday sun!
423
00:29:29,250 --> 00:29:32,746
# The Japanese don't care to,
the Chinese wouldn't dare to
424
00:29:32,875 --> 00:29:35,789
# Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly
from twelve to one
425
00:29:35,917 --> 00:29:39,246
# But Englishmen detest a siesta... #
426
00:29:39,374 --> 00:29:42,871
Laurel and Hardy step up
to the crease. The fillies are lining up.
427
00:29:42,999 --> 00:29:46,779
Miss Hilda Whittaker looking most
fetching in her feed bag and bridle!
428
00:29:53,582 --> 00:29:55,738
One woman's heaven...
429
00:29:57,123 --> 00:29:58,995
Oh, she's absolutely beautiful.
430
00:30:01,332 --> 00:30:04,993
Broken, tarnished
and completely useless.
431
00:30:06,290 --> 00:30:10,330
Things guaranteed
to keep my wife at bay.
432
00:30:10,456 --> 00:30:12,162
May l?
433
00:30:12,289 --> 00:30:14,695
lf you don't mind
getting your hands dirty.
434
00:30:14,831 --> 00:30:18,659
In Detroit, what we lack in dirt,
we make up for in filth.
435
00:30:18,789 --> 00:30:21,905
Your first husband
from that neck of the woods?
436
00:30:22,039 --> 00:30:24,527
Oh...well, word gets about.
437
00:30:26,830 --> 00:30:29,614
- So where is he now?
- Dead.
438
00:30:31,789 --> 00:30:33,660
Cancer.
439
00:30:33,788 --> 00:30:36,111
He was a fair bit older than me.
440
00:30:36,246 --> 00:30:39,991
I spent a while playing the unmerry
widow but the black wore thin.
441
00:30:40,871 --> 00:30:44,568
- You didn't care for him, I gather?
- I cared too much.
442
00:30:44,704 --> 00:30:48,532
Life was just such an unpleasant
experience for the man, l...
443
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:52,403
I'd be a liar to say I wasn't glad
when he was relieved of it.
444
00:31:00,995 --> 00:31:04,360
- When were you last in France?
- Just after the war?
445
00:31:04,495 --> 00:31:06,450
On a personal reconnaissance,
446
00:31:06,578 --> 00:31:11,400
trying to ascertain what exactly
all those fine young men had died for.
447
00:31:13,036 --> 00:31:15,785
Apparently, I'm of the romantic
Lost Generation.
448
00:31:17,077 --> 00:31:18,819
What did you lose?
449
00:31:19,827 --> 00:31:21,900
I'm not sure.
450
00:32:20,032 --> 00:32:22,485
Oh, hello...hello.
451
00:32:22,615 --> 00:32:26,443
Who was the tiny tank?
Who's a pretty, little, cheeky chorizo?
452
00:32:27,739 --> 00:32:31,187
On bended knees,
please come and play with me.
453
00:32:31,323 --> 00:32:33,526
Johnnie dear,
you know how much I love you,
454
00:32:33,656 --> 00:32:37,352
so please try to take this
in the best possible light.
455
00:32:37,489 --> 00:32:41,565
I'm getting a machine gun
and mowing down your entire family.
456
00:32:41,697 --> 00:32:45,312
That's fairly disappointing. I thought
you and Father were getting along.
457
00:32:45,447 --> 00:32:48,065
Yes, I might spare the men folk.
458
00:32:48,197 --> 00:32:51,893
But it's awfully dispiriting.
We have absolutely no privacy here.
459
00:32:52,030 --> 00:32:54,518
I never needed any privacy before.
This is my home.
460
00:32:54,655 --> 00:32:57,356
It's not mine.
And I very much want one.
461
00:32:58,779 --> 00:33:03,851
# We're all alone,
no chaperone can get our number
462
00:33:03,987 --> 00:33:08,110
# The world's aslumber,
let's misbehave
463
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,022
Timing is everything, you little brute!
464
00:33:14,153 --> 00:33:17,436
Umpire at least. Philip is pining for you.
465
00:33:17,569 --> 00:33:21,480
lf I knew you played tennis, I never
would've signed the marriage certificate!
466
00:33:21,611 --> 00:33:23,352
Ow!
467
00:33:36,652 --> 00:33:39,187
Not a bad day for it.
468
00:33:39,318 --> 00:33:41,107
Reading.
469
00:33:41,235 --> 00:33:44,102
My fiance, Edgar,
was always hiding behind books.
470
00:33:44,235 --> 00:33:48,726
Erm...you're needed on the tennis court.
John was just asking after you.
471
00:33:48,859 --> 00:33:52,059
Would you like to see
a photo of him...my Edgar?
472
00:33:52,193 --> 00:33:53,436
Poppy!
473
00:33:56,692 --> 00:33:59,855
- That's Enrico Caruso.
- Who's dead, I know that...
474
00:33:59,983 --> 00:34:03,432
But if you ignore
the nose and the mouth...
475
00:34:03,566 --> 00:34:06,979
...and the ears...
there's a striking resemblance.
476
00:34:08,900 --> 00:34:11,021
I don't actually have a picture of Edgar.
477
00:34:12,441 --> 00:34:14,479
Well...mustn't keep you.
478
00:34:14,608 --> 00:34:18,648
No, no. Of course. Looking forward
to getting stuck in to a good book.
479
00:34:18,774 --> 00:34:20,811
Poppy!
480
00:34:20,941 --> 00:34:23,642
- You haven't seen the beast, have you?
- The dog?
481
00:34:23,774 --> 00:34:26,097
Nope. I haven't.
482
00:34:27,816 --> 00:34:29,272
Poppy!
483
00:34:35,190 --> 00:34:38,685
Oh, poor, poor Poppy. I'm so sorry.
484
00:34:38,815 --> 00:34:40,521
Larita!
485
00:34:42,856 --> 00:34:47,394
I've been sent in to badger you.
Please help us make up doubles?
486
00:34:47,523 --> 00:34:52,180
Oh, Hilda, I can't. I'm only good
for the cocktails between sets.
487
00:34:52,314 --> 00:34:56,638
- We're between sets now.
- You can't possibly want me on court.
488
00:34:57,939 --> 00:35:00,557
Philip! Go get him.
489
00:35:03,355 --> 00:35:05,310
Poppy!
490
00:35:07,313 --> 00:35:08,889
Poppy!
491
00:35:09,021 --> 00:35:10,561
Poppy!
492
00:35:14,104 --> 00:35:15,929
- What are you doing?
- Reading.
493
00:35:16,062 --> 00:35:19,095
A Biblical Story".
494
00:35:19,229 --> 00:35:21,764
Who gave you this filth?
495
00:35:25,354 --> 00:35:28,553
Go and find the dog! Larita!
496
00:35:31,020 --> 00:35:34,965
Please refrain from giving my daughter
pornographic literature.
497
00:35:35,103 --> 00:35:36,596
Yes, yes, of course.
498
00:35:36,727 --> 00:35:39,395
Oh, and I've volunteered you and Hilda
499
00:35:39,519 --> 00:35:43,216
to perform the Dance of the Dying Swan
for the War Widows' Revue.
500
00:35:43,352 --> 00:35:45,177
We're short on numbers.
501
00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:47,764
Lovely. Anything to help.
502
00:35:47,894 --> 00:35:49,552
Have you seen the dog?
503
00:35:49,685 --> 00:35:51,841
No. Not recently.
504
00:35:51,976 --> 00:35:55,840
Probably out seizing the sunshine
like everyone else.
505
00:35:59,726 --> 00:36:01,598
Poppy!
506
00:36:04,142 --> 00:36:05,600
Furber!
507
00:36:09,850 --> 00:36:13,381
Oh, it's you, Madam. I'm sorry.
Can I get you anything?
508
00:36:13,517 --> 00:36:17,261
- A shovel.
- Shovel. Of course.
509
00:36:17,975 --> 00:36:20,510
Go and get Philip a hot toddy.
510
00:36:20,642 --> 00:36:26,887
- Philip. You look so...so...so...
- The suspense is killing me.
511
00:36:27,016 --> 00:36:28,592
Poppy!
512
00:36:29,308 --> 00:36:31,879
- Oh...sorry.
- It's fine.
513
00:36:40,432 --> 00:36:43,051
Your brother is such
a sharply honed twit.
514
00:36:45,723 --> 00:36:50,345
- Where's our beautiful cougar hiding?
- Under a book, I expect.
515
00:36:50,473 --> 00:36:53,175
I wish she wouldn't slack indoors
so much.
516
00:36:53,306 --> 00:36:56,967
Some people would kill
to be indoors with Larita.
517
00:36:57,098 --> 00:36:59,172
She isn't built the same as us.
518
00:36:59,306 --> 00:37:01,261
Still, it is annoying, though.
519
00:37:01,389 --> 00:37:04,221
You're such a sport,
always ready for anything.
520
00:37:04,347 --> 00:37:10,296
I haven't got Lari's beauty
or charm or intelligence.
521
00:37:10,430 --> 00:37:13,132
- She is clever, isn't she?
- Hmm...
522
00:37:13,263 --> 00:37:16,711
Clever...and bored.
523
00:37:16,846 --> 00:37:21,587
I don't understand it. I'm not bored,
you're not bored, nobody else is bored.
524
00:37:21,721 --> 00:37:24,340
Your father is, out of his mind.
525
00:37:24,471 --> 00:37:26,378
Father was born bored.
526
00:37:27,346 --> 00:37:29,799
lf only she made an effort to play along.
527
00:37:29,929 --> 00:37:32,499
Stop being so torturous, Panda.
528
00:37:32,637 --> 00:37:35,173
You had her playing charades last night.
What more do you want?
529
00:37:35,303 --> 00:37:38,337
John! John?
530
00:37:43,387 --> 00:37:47,794
To tell the truth, I never really liked her.
Crabby, snappy, little bitch...
531
00:37:48,803 --> 00:37:51,920
I didn't like the dog much, either.
532
00:37:54,011 --> 00:37:57,423
Poor Poppy. Casualty of war.
533
00:38:00,552 --> 00:38:03,005
lf I may be so bold, Madam?
534
00:38:03,135 --> 00:38:07,342
These people ride horses.
Lots of horses.
535
00:38:07,468 --> 00:38:10,383
It would be advantageous
to do the same.
536
00:38:12,552 --> 00:38:15,549
And I thought Detroit was a tough town.
537
00:38:18,468 --> 00:38:25,542
# You do something to me
538
00:38:26,634 --> 00:38:33,542
# Something that simply
mystifies me... #
539
00:38:37,217 --> 00:38:39,705
Oh, has your horse run out of gas?
540
00:38:48,966 --> 00:38:51,122
Oh, John, don't hurt it.
541
00:38:51,258 --> 00:38:56,293
Far from it. We've got a hunt coming up.
Poor little mite needs a head start.
542
00:38:57,966 --> 00:38:59,920
Go on...run!
543
00:39:02,965 --> 00:39:06,543
So much to learn about each other.
544
00:39:08,298 --> 00:39:13,120
My curriculum vitae. The brook
is the border of Sarah's property.
545
00:39:13,256 --> 00:39:17,545
Mother always imagined
we'd join forces and invade Surrey.
546
00:39:19,755 --> 00:39:23,370
Oh, and how about
those foot soldiers on high?
547
00:39:23,505 --> 00:39:27,830
That's Davis, Lord Hurst's man.
And there's Lord Hurst...
548
00:39:27,964 --> 00:39:30,202
Closely followed by my mother-in-law.
549
00:39:30,338 --> 00:39:33,122
I wonder what the devil
they're surveying?
550
00:39:36,004 --> 00:39:39,335
Are you disappointed
you didn't marry Sarah?
551
00:39:39,462 --> 00:39:43,242
Of course not. We've seen each other
naked since we were one.
552
00:39:43,379 --> 00:39:46,626
She's part of the...the...the...scenery.
553
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,456
You can hack it a little while longer,
can't you?
554
00:39:50,587 --> 00:39:54,794
How long is a little?
And don't say two weeks again.
555
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:58,499
Well, there's the War Widows' Revue,
the craft fair...
556
00:39:58,628 --> 00:40:00,251
...the hunt.
557
00:40:00,378 --> 00:40:04,158
- The memorial service...
- What memorial service?
558
00:40:06,044 --> 00:40:09,457
Friends, we are gathered here today
559
00:40:09,585 --> 00:40:13,579
in remembrance
of our missing friend, Poppy.
560
00:40:13,710 --> 00:40:15,500
Oh, Poppy...
561
00:40:16,502 --> 00:40:20,081
Wherever you have chosen
to sow your seeds,
562
00:40:20,210 --> 00:40:22,876
we pray that you are blooming.
563
00:40:23,001 --> 00:40:25,668
We pray that you have gone
to a better place.
564
00:40:25,793 --> 00:40:29,288
Shame we don't know
exactly where that place is...
565
00:40:29,418 --> 00:40:32,949
Anyway, now for a eulogy
from Emily Dickinson, queen of mirth.
566
00:40:35,167 --> 00:40:39,990
"Because I could not stop for death,
he kindly stopped for me.
567
00:40:40,126 --> 00:40:44,036
"The carriage held but just ourselves
and immortality."
568
00:40:44,167 --> 00:40:48,955
Or maybe the carriage didn't stop
and Poppy got squished.
569
00:40:49,083 --> 00:40:51,536
Scraped off the road
and put in a sausage...
570
00:40:51,667 --> 00:40:54,499
Oh, Hilda!
571
00:41:02,708 --> 00:41:04,994
Thank you, Mr Gribble.
572
00:41:05,749 --> 00:41:09,328
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
573
00:41:09,457 --> 00:41:13,948
behold Reverend Burton
and Marion Whittaker
574
00:41:14,082 --> 00:41:19,236
as they reach for the scissors
in "Samson and Delilah".
575
00:41:30,872 --> 00:41:34,036
Hark! I hear my husband snore!
576
00:41:35,288 --> 00:41:39,662
What the hell happened to Delilah?
Looks like a sock full of oranges.
577
00:41:39,789 --> 00:41:46,069
I'll creep forth on padded foot
and relieve him of his ample follicles.
578
00:42:09,745 --> 00:42:13,075
- How hilarious!
- It's meant to be a tragedy!
579
00:42:13,203 --> 00:42:15,608
Then you succeeded
beyond your wildest dreams.
580
00:42:15,744 --> 00:42:18,659
Your father seems
to have a fan.
581
00:42:18,786 --> 00:42:22,151
Don't read too much into it. She was
a godsend during mother's last months.
582
00:42:22,285 --> 00:42:25,034
Sometimes I wonder where they'd be
without each other.
583
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,649
My ample follicles are in dire need
of a trim.
584
00:42:30,035 --> 00:42:33,780
I wouldn't taunt the artistes,
my little dying swans. You're on next.
585
00:42:33,910 --> 00:42:37,738
I've encouraged my girls to undertake
something a little more contemporary.
586
00:42:37,868 --> 00:42:40,653
Hilda and I seem to have a talent
for the can-can.
587
00:42:40,785 --> 00:42:43,782
The traditional can-can,
performed without underwear?
588
00:42:43,909 --> 00:42:47,358
- Oh, Philip!
- Anything for you, Philip.
589
00:42:47,493 --> 00:42:49,199
Yes, anything.
590
00:42:49,326 --> 00:42:52,194
That'll raise a bit more than money
for the war widows.
591
00:42:52,325 --> 00:42:55,774
- I'm doubling my donation.
- Oh, Pinkie.
592
00:42:55,909 --> 00:42:58,195
Fans at the ready, gentlemen!
593
00:42:58,325 --> 00:43:01,442
All the way from gay Paris,
594
00:43:01,575 --> 00:43:04,489
I give you Miss Hilda Whittaker
595
00:43:04,616 --> 00:43:09,736
and, for her debut performance,
Mrs John Whittaker
596
00:43:09,866 --> 00:43:13,029
doing 'The Can-Can'!
597
00:43:13,157 --> 00:43:15,113
Ooh!
598
00:43:19,615 --> 00:43:21,736
Ooh!
599
00:43:34,948 --> 00:43:37,354
Did...did you...?
600
00:43:39,990 --> 00:43:44,978
ls it my imagination, or is your daughter
dancing without her scanties?
601
00:44:08,405 --> 00:44:09,778
Ow!
602
00:44:22,279 --> 00:44:24,068
Bravo!
603
00:44:42,485 --> 00:44:46,265
It's not Lari's fault.
She said it was traditional!
604
00:44:46,402 --> 00:44:48,725
Philip said it, not Larita.
And it was a joke.
605
00:44:48,861 --> 00:44:51,146
Everyone understood that
except Nelly No Knickers here!
606
00:44:51,277 --> 00:44:55,057
Hilda isn't as experienced
as your wife, John. No one is.
607
00:44:55,193 --> 00:44:58,392
lf you're not prepared to have a straight
talk to her, then I certainly am.
608
00:44:58,526 --> 00:45:00,563
Don't be ridiculous. You'll lose a finger.
609
00:45:00,693 --> 00:45:04,935
- Lord Hurst will never speak to me.
- Rubbish. I saw you in the back fields.
610
00:45:05,067 --> 00:45:07,816
Preparing the jumps for the hunt!
611
00:45:07,942 --> 00:45:11,687
I'm completely humiliated!
I'll never get a husband now!
612
00:45:11,817 --> 00:45:14,222
After tonight, I'd have thought
they'll be lining up round the block.
613
00:45:14,358 --> 00:45:17,522
I hate her! Hate, hate, hate her!
614
00:45:19,275 --> 00:45:22,641
The advance notices
are sensational, Mrs John.
615
00:45:33,066 --> 00:45:37,852
ls it my imagination or is the cutlery
particularly deafening this evening?
616
00:45:37,982 --> 00:45:41,845
I don't know how many times
I have to say this, Hilda. I am sorry.
617
00:45:41,982 --> 00:45:46,473
- That's easy for you to say.
- It's surprisingly hard to be easy.
618
00:45:47,898 --> 00:45:51,762
- You're smiling, Jim.
- God forbid, the wind might change.
619
00:45:54,481 --> 00:45:58,060
Hilda, if I had any inkling that you
were going to take me seriously...
620
00:45:58,189 --> 00:46:00,428
You could have made an effort
to enjoy it less.
621
00:46:00,564 --> 00:46:04,143
I had my underpants on.
I was having a grand time.
622
00:46:05,439 --> 00:46:10,641
It's not fair! You've got two husbands,
and I've had none.
623
00:46:10,771 --> 00:46:13,686
- Technically, I have one.
- But you've had two.
624
00:46:13,813 --> 00:46:16,267
I've had two shoes
and it's a great deal more practical.
625
00:46:16,396 --> 00:46:19,928
I dare say you've worn down
more soles than that.
626
00:46:22,938 --> 00:46:24,928
John...
627
00:46:25,062 --> 00:46:28,641
Marion, Larita's first husband died
of cancer. Stop being so callous.
628
00:46:28,770 --> 00:46:31,437
Oh, I'm sure Marion
can appreciate the pain
629
00:46:31,562 --> 00:46:34,346
of watching a loved one
slip through her fingers.
630
00:46:34,478 --> 00:46:36,469
She's scandalous!
631
00:46:37,812 --> 00:46:40,680
You should hear what they're saying
about her in the village.
632
00:46:40,812 --> 00:46:43,051
Well, let's stop the wagging tongues,
shall we?
633
00:46:43,186 --> 00:46:46,634
ls it true you've had
as many lovers as they say?
634
00:46:49,103 --> 00:46:52,302
Of course it's not true, Mrs Whittaker.
635
00:46:52,436 --> 00:46:55,387
Hardly any of them actually loved me.
636
00:46:58,060 --> 00:47:01,260
That was uncalled for.
I realise it was a joke, but still...
637
00:47:01,394 --> 00:47:05,552
- You threw me to the wolves in there.
- Marion hardly constitutes wolves.
638
00:47:05,685 --> 00:47:09,726
All right, you threw me to the voles.
Either way, you abandoned me.
639
00:47:09,852 --> 00:47:12,137
Your sisters need to be restrained.
640
00:47:12,268 --> 00:47:16,640
Restrained? Hilda breaks loose once
and she's almost institutionalised.
641
00:47:16,767 --> 00:47:19,551
And poor old Marion...
Edgar drops by for a cup of sugar,
642
00:47:19,684 --> 00:47:22,089
and mother has his name
engraved on the family crypt.
643
00:47:22,226 --> 00:47:24,892
- I'm sorry but it really is very funny.
- Hilarious!
644
00:47:25,018 --> 00:47:27,256
Welcome to the petrified circus.
645
00:47:27,392 --> 00:47:30,804
Meet the resident contortionist
who can't bend any further.
646
00:47:30,933 --> 00:47:35,057
Then stop. Be yourself.
Let them live in your spell.
647
00:47:35,183 --> 00:47:40,135
# You do that voodoo
that you do so well... #
648
00:47:40,266 --> 00:47:44,591
You're right, of course. I'm a hypocrite,
pretending to be someone I'm not.
649
00:47:44,725 --> 00:47:47,557
Especially since it isn't working.
650
00:47:48,516 --> 00:47:52,047
What the devil has that dog dug up?
651
00:47:55,057 --> 00:47:57,130
Pilot, what have you got there?
652
00:47:58,890 --> 00:48:01,260
How could you not tell us?
653
00:48:01,390 --> 00:48:04,837
Marion, it was an accident.
I am walking on eggshells here.
654
00:48:04,973 --> 00:48:09,594
And I believe I panicked.
And once again, I'm very, very sorry.
655
00:48:09,723 --> 00:48:13,052
How could you do it? How could you?
656
00:48:13,180 --> 00:48:18,003
I imagine she lowered her full weight
onto the Chihuahua beneath her.
657
00:48:19,888 --> 00:48:21,963
Marion, please.
658
00:48:22,097 --> 00:48:25,261
John, did you have anything
to do with this?
659
00:48:25,388 --> 00:48:29,298
No. No, I was the sole perpetrator
of Poppy's demise.
660
00:48:29,430 --> 00:48:32,381
And ever since
I have been wracked with guilt.
661
00:48:32,887 --> 00:48:36,881
Please, please, please
let me buy you a new dog.
662
00:48:38,096 --> 00:48:41,129
You might buy your loved ones
in the United States,
663
00:48:41,262 --> 00:48:43,549
but you can't in the United Kingdom.
664
00:48:43,679 --> 00:48:45,006
How unfortunate.
665
00:48:45,137 --> 00:48:48,917
You could at least show some remorse.
666
00:48:49,053 --> 00:48:53,544
I am full of remorse. I just refuse
to invest in amateur theatrics
667
00:48:53,678 --> 00:48:55,302
to convince you of my sincerity.
668
00:48:55,428 --> 00:48:58,628
That's not how I came off
the assembly line. I'm sorry.
669
00:48:58,761 --> 00:49:00,467
I can't change.
670
00:49:00,595 --> 00:49:04,919
Not for you...
not for anybody...any more.
671
00:49:07,927 --> 00:49:11,588
And I wouldn't want her
any other way. So...
672
00:49:14,886 --> 00:49:19,708
- Madam, the dog.
- Oh, stay back! Stay back!
673
00:49:21,093 --> 00:49:25,964
I knew it the second
I laid eyes on her. She's a killer.
674
00:49:26,093 --> 00:49:28,249
She sat on poor Poppy deliberately.
675
00:49:28,384 --> 00:49:31,087
Don't be ridiculous.
Of course she didn't.
676
00:49:31,217 --> 00:49:35,626
My brother has married a dog murderer.
She should be put down.
677
00:49:35,759 --> 00:49:37,667
Put through a divorce court.
678
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:39,672
The Lord does not
sanction divorce.
679
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:43,166
The Lord is Almighty, Marion.
He can sanction anything he likes.
680
00:49:43,301 --> 00:49:45,208
The sooner they move out
the better.
681
00:49:45,341 --> 00:49:49,038
They move out?
John isn't going anywhere.
682
00:49:49,175 --> 00:49:50,999
Watch and learn.
683
00:49:56,508 --> 00:49:59,790
It's so unfair.
Why can't I have a room like this?
684
00:50:03,008 --> 00:50:06,337
I could die of envy!
685
00:50:06,465 --> 00:50:08,918
Laying to rest this tragic incident,
686
00:50:09,048 --> 00:50:12,959
we've had this splendid set of rooms
made over for you, haven't we, Jim?
687
00:50:13,090 --> 00:50:16,289
Yes. My wife would like you
to rest in peace.
688
00:50:16,423 --> 00:50:20,463
I even had an old friend of Johnnie's
brought down from the attic.
689
00:50:20,590 --> 00:50:23,208
"Old Faithful Awaits
His Master's Return".
690
00:50:23,339 --> 00:50:26,254
I used to sleep under that silly painting.
691
00:50:26,381 --> 00:50:29,213
Very comforting, I'm sure,
but we're expected back in Mayfair.
692
00:50:29,339 --> 00:50:32,207
But these are the largest rooms
in the house.
693
00:50:32,338 --> 00:50:34,412
You'll find nothing like it in London.
694
00:50:34,547 --> 00:50:36,621
- She has a point.
- She always does.
695
00:50:36,755 --> 00:50:39,918
Sometimes I don't know
why you ever did wander home.
696
00:50:40,046 --> 00:50:41,588
And miss all the fun?
697
00:50:42,213 --> 00:50:44,880
Cook would like to inform you,
Mrs Whittaker, the bird is stuffed.
698
00:50:45,005 --> 00:50:46,794
Oh!
699
00:50:46,921 --> 00:50:48,995
What bird, hmm?
700
00:50:49,130 --> 00:50:52,043
Thursday is bubble and squeak.
I hadn't made any arrangements.
701
00:50:52,171 --> 00:50:54,208
Oh, but I have!
702
00:50:59,670 --> 00:51:03,794
In appreciation of your understanding
and for that delicious double bed.
703
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,788
We'll think of you every time we use it.
704
00:51:14,003 --> 00:51:17,203
- What exactly are we celebrating?
- Thanksgiving.
705
00:51:17,336 --> 00:51:19,373
Thanks for what, hmm?
706
00:51:19,502 --> 00:51:23,081
The annihilation
of an entire indigenous people.
707
00:51:23,210 --> 00:51:26,125
A loving union of two great cultures.
708
00:51:26,252 --> 00:51:29,250
- Just like us.
- How transcontinental.
709
00:51:29,377 --> 00:51:32,458
- I can't believe you got into the kitchen.
- Beatrice did put up a fight.
710
00:51:32,585 --> 00:51:35,832
- But technically I outrank her.
- Who's Beatrice?
711
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:41,375
Your cook. Or now my undercook,
since I'm qualified cordon bleu.
712
00:51:41,501 --> 00:51:43,658
That's a degree.
713
00:51:43,792 --> 00:51:48,367
Furber...take the vegetables down to
the kitchen and tell Cook to cook them.
714
00:51:48,500 --> 00:51:52,992
No, Furber, thank you.
I think I'll surprise my alimentary canal.
715
00:51:54,167 --> 00:51:57,663
Mother, if you don't mind, I'm going
to eat my meal before it gets cold.
716
00:51:57,792 --> 00:51:59,829
Furber, I've changed my mind,
bring it back!
717
00:51:59,958 --> 00:52:01,072
Me, too.
718
00:52:03,042 --> 00:52:05,116
Gobble, gobble!
719
00:52:10,374 --> 00:52:11,832
Yes!
720
00:52:15,790 --> 00:52:17,414
Here's a tip, Hilda.
721
00:52:17,541 --> 00:52:20,988
A sure way to a man's heart is
through his stomach. Or his mother.
722
00:52:21,124 --> 00:52:25,496
Larita, look, I've found
another likeness of Edgar.
723
00:52:25,623 --> 00:52:29,285
- Marion, this is Fatty Arbuckle.
- Who's in jail, I know that.
724
00:52:29,415 --> 00:52:32,744
But if you cut out his cheeks
and give him a bald patch,
725
00:52:32,873 --> 00:52:35,362
there's a striking resemblance...
726
00:52:35,498 --> 00:52:38,412
Edgar's away on a trip
across the pond,
727
00:52:38,539 --> 00:52:41,490
sewing his wild oats,
or something agricultural.
728
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:47,026
- She's good, I'll give her that.
- I think you're over-reacting.
729
00:52:53,747 --> 00:52:56,317
Lari? Lari!
730
00:52:57,330 --> 00:52:59,996
Not the vase! Not the vase!
731
00:53:00,121 --> 00:53:03,534
"Taking the corncockle buds
and bee-kissed roses
732
00:53:03,663 --> 00:53:05,736
"roughly in his calloused hands,
733
00:53:05,871 --> 00:53:11,369
"his hot, moist tulip exploded
in her river of delights..."
734
00:53:22,495 --> 00:53:24,450
Larita?
735
00:53:24,578 --> 00:53:26,699
Early Christmas present...
736
00:53:26,828 --> 00:53:30,074
- For you, darling.
- Ooh, the mind boggles.
737
00:53:37,910 --> 00:53:39,368
Well, it's...it's...
738
00:53:39,493 --> 00:53:41,484
It's magnificent.
It's monstrous!
739
00:53:41,619 --> 00:53:46,157
It's me. I posed for a young Spaniard.
Don't you absolutely adore it?
740
00:53:46,285 --> 00:53:49,402
Very expressive, darling,
but I can't quite see you in it.
741
00:53:49,535 --> 00:53:51,075
You can see
everything else!
742
00:53:51,201 --> 00:53:53,950
You took your clothes off
in front of a total stranger?
743
00:53:54,076 --> 00:53:57,940
- Of course she took her clothes off.
- I think it's unholy.
744
00:53:58,076 --> 00:54:03,575
I'm not sure I approve of you being nude.
You know, without...without me.
745
00:54:03,701 --> 00:54:05,158
Extraordinary.
746
00:54:06,326 --> 00:54:09,193
What exactly are you
hoping to achieve?
747
00:54:09,326 --> 00:54:12,110
Just trying to get into the swing
of things...Mother.
748
00:54:12,242 --> 00:54:18,071
Marvellous! Well, then, you'll be riding
in the hunt with us, won't you?
749
00:54:18,199 --> 00:54:21,233
I might be persuaded
if the painting stays.
750
00:54:21,366 --> 00:54:23,108
- Hunt.
- Paint.
751
00:54:23,241 --> 00:54:24,983
- Hunt.
- Paint.
752
00:54:25,116 --> 00:54:26,608
Hunt!
753
00:54:26,741 --> 00:54:28,399
Very well.
754
00:54:30,365 --> 00:54:31,859
Hunt.
755
00:54:37,657 --> 00:54:39,482
View, hello.
756
00:54:42,740 --> 00:54:46,436
Hello, everyone.
Good to see you. Richard.
757
00:54:46,573 --> 00:54:49,986
Morning, Jim!
After generations of false starts,
758
00:54:50,114 --> 00:54:52,733
we've finally managed
to combine our cavalry.
759
00:54:52,864 --> 00:54:55,567
Congratulations.
A marriage of minor convenience.
760
00:54:55,697 --> 00:54:57,523
You'll be fine, I promise.
761
00:54:57,655 --> 00:55:02,312
The second you have the Holborough
boy's eye, flirt outrageously.
762
00:55:02,447 --> 00:55:05,149
But Warwick Holborough has ears
like the Cambridge Cup!
763
00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:10,482
And Philip's the prize. Now, if you want
a man's attention...ignore him.
764
00:55:17,696 --> 00:55:20,943
Warwick the Wingnut
and Sausage Fingers?
765
00:55:21,071 --> 00:55:25,313
What a handsome couple.
They'll have puppies not children.
766
00:55:27,279 --> 00:55:31,142
Wait...there's something I need to say.
767
00:55:32,279 --> 00:55:35,644
I see you...you're wasted here.
768
00:55:35,778 --> 00:55:39,606
When the time comes...give me a ring.
769
00:55:39,737 --> 00:55:42,688
lf I could find your neck, I'd wring it.
770
00:55:42,819 --> 00:55:46,730
- Larita's making sheep's eyes at Philip.
- She's a Venus de Flytrap!
771
00:55:46,861 --> 00:55:50,985
- She wants him all to herself.
- She's not interested in Philip.
772
00:55:51,111 --> 00:55:53,480
- Nobody's interested in Philip.
- I am!
773
00:55:54,444 --> 00:55:56,185
Mount up, Larita.
774
00:55:56,319 --> 00:56:00,229
lf you don't mind, I think
I might give the fox a head start.
775
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,275
Lari, get on the pony, please.
776
00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:06,016
Oh, it's just as I thought...
777
00:56:06,152 --> 00:56:09,599
Oh, I said I'd ride,
and I'm always good for my word.
778
00:56:10,610 --> 00:56:11,854
Tally-ho!
779
00:56:27,776 --> 00:56:31,720
# Spy on me, baby, use satellite
780
00:56:31,858 --> 00:56:35,899
# Infrared to see me
move through the night
781
00:56:36,025 --> 00:56:39,520
# Aim, going to fire, shoot me right
782
00:56:39,649 --> 00:56:43,560
# I'm going to like the way you fight
783
00:56:43,691 --> 00:56:47,766
# Now you've found
the secret code I use
784
00:56:47,899 --> 00:56:51,727
# To wash away my lonely blues
785
00:56:51,857 --> 00:56:58,220
# So I can't deny or lie
cos you're the only one to make me fly
786
00:56:59,398 --> 00:57:03,687
# Sex bomb, sex bomb,
you're a sex bomb
787
00:57:03,814 --> 00:57:07,097
# You can give it to me
when I need to come along...
788
00:57:07,231 --> 00:57:09,636
What?
789
00:57:09,773 --> 00:57:12,059
# You're my sex bomb... #
790
00:57:12,189 --> 00:57:15,519
- What is she doing?
- A victory lap, by the look of things.
791
00:57:16,564 --> 00:57:20,095
There's something wild about that child
that's so contagious.
792
00:57:23,521 --> 00:57:25,678
Whoo-hoo!
793
00:57:28,897 --> 00:57:32,936
Well, she promised she'd ride.
Ha-ha!
794
00:57:42,187 --> 00:57:45,802
# ...no chaperone
can get our number
795
00:57:45,937 --> 00:57:50,973
# The world's in a slumber,
let's misbehave!
796
00:57:51,103 --> 00:57:55,891
# There's something wild
about you, child, that's so contagious
797
00:57:56,020 --> 00:58:01,139
# Let's be outrageous,
let's misbehave!
798
00:58:01,269 --> 00:58:06,009
# When Adam won Eve's hand,
he wouldn't stand for teasin'
799
00:58:06,144 --> 00:58:10,967
# He didn't care about those apples
out of season
800
00:58:11,102 --> 00:58:16,008
# They say that Spring means
just one little thing to little lovebirds
801
00:58:16,143 --> 00:58:21,724
# We're not above birds,
let's misbehave... #
802
00:58:28,018 --> 00:58:29,594
Whoo!
803
00:58:40,059 --> 00:58:42,725
Miss Hilda,
telephone from New York.
804
00:58:50,308 --> 00:58:51,800
Uncle George?
805
00:58:51,933 --> 00:58:54,800
Oh, thank God, a friendly voice.
806
00:58:54,933 --> 00:58:58,049
Yes, and she's a complete nightmare.
807
00:59:00,807 --> 00:59:02,798
Really?
808
00:59:02,933 --> 00:59:05,136
How salacious.
809
00:59:07,515 --> 00:59:09,387
Come in.
810
00:59:10,307 --> 00:59:11,764
Mother?
811
00:59:13,140 --> 00:59:16,386
I'd like to apologise
for today's schmozzle.
812
00:59:16,514 --> 00:59:18,801
That really won't be necessary.
813
00:59:18,932 --> 00:59:22,094
Larita made no secret
of her disapproval of blood sports.
814
00:59:22,222 --> 00:59:23,798
She did ride as promised.
815
00:59:23,931 --> 00:59:29,382
Well, we should credit her with her
imaginative way of keeping her word.
816
00:59:29,513 --> 00:59:31,587
You must be very proud of her.
817
00:59:32,639 --> 00:59:35,209
Mother, I think...
818
00:59:35,347 --> 00:59:37,836
I think maybe Larita and I ought to go.
819
00:59:37,971 --> 00:59:40,176
Oh...
820
00:59:40,305 --> 00:59:42,923
Yes, I see. Very well.
821
00:59:43,055 --> 00:59:46,883
Feel free to drop in
whenever it takes your fancy.
822
00:59:47,013 --> 00:59:49,216
- Off you go. Enjoy.
- Don't be like that.
823
00:59:49,346 --> 00:59:52,344
I'm sorry, dear,
wasn't Mummy being kind enough?
824
00:59:52,471 --> 00:59:54,959
Take these, they might get you
as far as Constantinople!
825
00:59:55,095 --> 00:59:57,762
- And this...Casablanca.
- Mother, stop it!
826
00:59:57,887 --> 00:59:59,759
No. You stop it!
827
01:00:10,094 --> 01:00:12,583
The money's gone, John.
828
01:00:12,719 --> 01:00:14,674
Nothing left.
829
01:00:14,802 --> 01:00:18,003
The only thing standing
between this family and bankruptcy
830
01:00:18,136 --> 01:00:20,624
are those surveyors in the back field.
831
01:00:22,385 --> 01:00:28,003
Lord Hurst is offering to buy 400 acres
to keep the bailiffs away.
832
01:00:29,594 --> 01:00:34,050
It's your legacy, John Whittaker...
and I'm selling it.
833
01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:43,292
- I had no idea.
- No... No, you don't.
834
01:00:48,176 --> 01:00:52,382
You were supposed to take over
the estate, take your responsibilities.
835
01:00:52,509 --> 01:00:55,506
But you were unexpectedly
flagged down.
836
01:00:57,217 --> 01:01:00,298
I've been struggling for years
with a man who doesn't care,
837
01:01:00,425 --> 01:01:02,629
waiting for you to step up to the mark.
838
01:01:05,133 --> 01:01:08,249
No. You just go.
839
01:01:08,382 --> 01:01:11,748
Go to Algiers
with your racing car driver.
840
01:01:11,883 --> 01:01:14,549
I'm too tired to care any more!
841
01:01:16,715 --> 01:01:20,413
It's not exactly surprising,
John. Look at the grounds.
842
01:01:20,548 --> 01:01:25,005
- Your mother is being very practical.
- In what sense?
843
01:01:25,132 --> 01:01:28,497
You're not coming back.
Your father moved out decades ago.
844
01:01:28,632 --> 01:01:32,625
Philip's not going to marry Hilda.
Nobody's going to marry Marion.
845
01:01:32,756 --> 01:01:36,797
Subdividing the land and selling
to a neighbour is an elegant solution.
846
01:01:36,923 --> 01:01:38,581
Somewhat harsh.
847
01:01:40,090 --> 01:01:42,791
I've had my fair share
of selling off my past,
848
01:01:42,923 --> 01:01:47,046
and it is an auction of innocence
that's neither fun nor pretty,
849
01:01:47,172 --> 01:01:50,584
but it is realistic,
something your mother excels in.
850
01:01:50,713 --> 01:01:53,415
But it's my responsibility.
851
01:01:54,838 --> 01:01:58,002
Gracious, how can I have been so blind?
852
01:02:36,378 --> 01:02:39,789
Oh, winter hydrangeas!
How do you do it?
853
01:02:39,919 --> 01:02:44,706
It's a controlled mixture of passion,
persistence and horse manure.
854
01:02:47,418 --> 01:02:50,830
I was hoping to catch a glimpse
of the new bride.
855
01:02:50,959 --> 01:02:54,456
Ah! John's wife has very fickle allergies.
856
01:02:54,584 --> 01:02:59,207
- Allergies to what?
- Flowers, Emma. Can you believe it?
857
01:02:59,334 --> 01:03:02,498
That is a strange choice of bed fellow
for this neck of the woods.
858
01:03:02,626 --> 01:03:05,955
You'll just have to make do
with John and Sarah.
859
01:03:06,084 --> 01:03:08,573
It'll be like old times.
860
01:03:08,708 --> 01:03:14,243
# When you're smiling,
the whole world smiles... #
861
01:03:15,917 --> 01:03:18,239
Why the big Panda eyes?
862
01:03:20,083 --> 01:03:22,867
I've often meant to ask you something,
but I hadn't the courage.
863
01:03:22,999 --> 01:03:25,073
Well, don't then.
864
01:03:25,208 --> 01:03:29,497
Did you think I behaved like a cad,
marrying Larita without telling you?
865
01:03:29,624 --> 01:03:31,614
No, of course not.
866
01:03:31,749 --> 01:03:35,410
You took the opportunity and married
for love. I respect you for it.
867
01:03:35,540 --> 01:03:38,905
lf we'd have married it would've been
for friendship and convenience.
868
01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:41,161
- Would it?
- Yes!
869
01:03:41,290 --> 01:03:43,778
We knew one another far too well.
870
01:03:43,915 --> 01:03:49,864
I want my marriage to be thrilling,
romantic, with passionate love letters.
871
01:03:49,998 --> 01:03:53,659
- I could've written you love letters.
- Well, you didn't, did you?
872
01:03:53,789 --> 01:03:55,863
I did love you all the same.
873
01:03:57,247 --> 01:03:58,656
John, stop it.
874
01:04:07,789 --> 01:04:10,786
He's very different
from the man I met in France.
875
01:04:12,163 --> 01:04:16,654
The boy. The same, sweet boy.
876
01:04:20,621 --> 01:04:25,159
ls it true what she says?
Are you really selling off the land?
877
01:04:26,745 --> 01:04:30,490
To be perfectly honest,
I haven't the faintest idea.
878
01:04:32,954 --> 01:04:35,738
But it's your home, it's your community.
879
01:04:36,954 --> 01:04:38,825
Doesn't that matter?
880
01:04:38,953 --> 01:04:40,529
No.
881
01:04:42,328 --> 01:04:44,449
You're a dark horse.
882
01:04:47,036 --> 01:04:51,942
Have you noticed how few men
of my age there are in this village?
883
01:04:52,078 --> 01:04:55,193
Fourteen years ago,
we all took the King's shilling.
884
01:04:55,327 --> 01:04:58,111
We all signed up together.
885
01:04:58,244 --> 01:05:03,197
My brother, friends, staff...
886
01:05:04,660 --> 01:05:09,400
All hunkered down in the front row
of The Great War.
887
01:05:10,743 --> 01:05:14,322
I thought they kept majors
safely behind desks?
888
01:05:14,451 --> 01:05:16,737
Promotion for surviving.
889
01:05:18,575 --> 01:05:22,901
As captain, it was my job
to get them all out of the trenches.
890
01:05:23,034 --> 01:05:27,193
Within the first four minutes
of our first charge...
891
01:05:29,325 --> 01:05:31,481
...20,000 men died.
892
01:05:36,866 --> 01:05:39,271
In Thorverton, down the road here...
893
01:05:40,407 --> 01:05:42,861
...they were stationed in Morocco.
894
01:05:43,783 --> 01:05:46,271
Their captain bought them all home.
895
01:05:52,199 --> 01:05:55,196
I didn't bring a single man back.
896
01:05:56,032 --> 01:05:58,152
This whole village died.
897
01:05:59,114 --> 01:06:02,527
I think there's a glimmer
of life in you yet.
898
01:06:02,657 --> 01:06:07,478
Well, if there is, it has no time for
pet cemeteries and Japanese lanterns.
899
01:06:07,614 --> 01:06:11,062
- Why did you come back?
- I had no choice.
900
01:06:14,572 --> 01:06:18,731
Bonjour, Madame.
Qu'est-ce que vous voulez?
901
01:06:27,613 --> 01:06:29,936
'She came for you?'
902
01:06:31,530 --> 01:06:32,938
Why the lie?
903
01:06:33,071 --> 01:06:36,602
She thought "wandering home"
sounded better.
904
01:06:39,238 --> 01:06:41,904
And to be perfectly frank,
I no longer cared.
905
01:06:47,445 --> 01:06:52,149
I hate new games. There are
too many balls, I can't sink anything.
906
01:06:52,278 --> 01:06:56,353
- Sink some gin, Sausage Fingers!
- I never, ever win.
907
01:06:56,486 --> 01:06:58,477
Oh, well done!
908
01:07:04,611 --> 01:07:08,225
Stop sucking it. Come and help.
Come on, Pops.
909
01:07:08,361 --> 01:07:11,690
All right, Missie,
hold your horses.
910
01:07:11,819 --> 01:07:14,223
Right, clear the decks, puppies.
911
01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:16,185
May l?
912
01:07:23,527 --> 01:07:26,015
I was hoping to have a word.
913
01:07:26,151 --> 01:07:30,310
We're accentuating the positive today,
I don't have a mind for anything else.
914
01:07:30,442 --> 01:07:32,397
Of course...of course.
915
01:07:33,901 --> 01:07:36,567
I know you are
under considerable stress...
916
01:07:38,359 --> 01:07:40,231
Regarding what?
917
01:07:41,900 --> 01:07:45,312
Lord Hurst's kind offer
to buy into your property.
918
01:07:45,441 --> 01:07:49,435
The realtor I'm dealing with in London
also specialises in subdivision.
919
01:07:49,566 --> 01:07:54,058
Perhaps he could help negotiate
a premium price.
920
01:07:54,191 --> 01:07:57,722
Thank you, but really this is
of no concern of yours.
921
01:07:57,857 --> 01:08:02,100
Of course it's a concern. I am a member
of this family now and I'd like to help.
922
01:08:02,232 --> 01:08:05,395
And this is your interpretation
of "help", is it?
923
01:08:05,524 --> 01:08:08,889
Carving up our heritage and selling it off
to the highest bidder?
924
01:08:09,023 --> 01:08:11,594
Coming from a country no older
than the chair you are sitting in,
925
01:08:11,731 --> 01:08:13,769
it seems a very practical solution.
926
01:08:13,898 --> 01:08:16,516
Just forget the seven
generations of people
927
01:08:16,648 --> 01:08:20,392
who have devoted their entire lives
to farming this land.
928
01:08:20,523 --> 01:08:23,686
Get someone else to do it.
With a machine, no less.
929
01:08:24,730 --> 01:08:26,804
Who do you think you are?
930
01:08:28,022 --> 01:08:31,802
Swinging your wherewithal
like a cat on heat.
931
01:08:33,271 --> 01:08:36,768
lf you really want to be
of assistance, Larita,
932
01:08:36,897 --> 01:08:39,467
I think you know what's required.
933
01:08:41,605 --> 01:08:43,642
Right...
934
01:08:43,771 --> 01:08:47,599
I think it's time an expert showed you
how this game is played.
935
01:08:47,729 --> 01:08:49,720
Watch it...
936
01:08:49,854 --> 01:08:51,311
Bravo!
937
01:08:52,729 --> 01:08:56,675
What a sportswoman, I must say.
Can you imagine? Fantastic!
938
01:08:58,853 --> 01:09:00,927
'Lari, you're confusing me.'
939
01:09:01,062 --> 01:09:04,060
- 'I'm feeling trapped.'
- 'l don't understand.'
940
01:09:04,187 --> 01:09:07,350
It's this house!
It has an air of doom hanging over it.
941
01:09:07,478 --> 01:09:10,595
And I can barely stand the weight
much longer.
942
01:09:16,269 --> 01:09:19,137
The answer is to go abroad again.
943
01:09:19,269 --> 01:09:23,843
Not yet. This is my life for now,
you know that.
944
01:09:23,978 --> 01:09:27,224
- And what part do I play in it?
- Do you have to be so loud?
945
01:09:27,352 --> 01:09:30,136
Of course I do! I'm American.
946
01:09:35,893 --> 01:09:40,515
What is the use of bickering like this?
It doesn't lead anywhere.
947
01:09:40,643 --> 01:09:43,594
You never know.
It might lead to a natural end.
948
01:09:45,226 --> 01:09:47,347
Do you want it to?
949
01:09:48,475 --> 01:09:50,715
Do you?
950
01:09:50,850 --> 01:09:52,307
No!
951
01:09:53,141 --> 01:09:56,258
I just want some peace and quiet.
952
01:09:56,392 --> 01:09:59,176
You're far too young
to make a remark like that.
953
01:09:59,308 --> 01:10:01,382
I can't help my age...
954
01:10:02,683 --> 01:10:04,590
...Grandma.
955
01:10:07,474 --> 01:10:13,008
Look, I'm sorry that I leave you alone
so much. Honestly, I'm sorry.
956
01:10:15,516 --> 01:10:19,011
Good. Then let's do something about it.
957
01:10:24,390 --> 01:10:26,843
Why are we driving so fast?
958
01:10:26,974 --> 01:10:29,047
The thrill of escape!
959
01:10:33,973 --> 01:10:37,385
You're looking very game today.
Fairest game in the land.
960
01:10:38,931 --> 01:10:40,589
A penny for your thoughts?
961
01:10:40,722 --> 01:10:43,424
It's more than pennies,
I'm afraid, Pinkie.
962
01:10:43,556 --> 01:10:46,008
I don't think I can afford the party
this year.
963
01:10:46,138 --> 01:10:48,757
- But the Japanese lanterns!
- No, cancelled.
964
01:10:48,888 --> 01:10:51,756
Had to choose,
Japanese lanterns or the maid.
965
01:10:51,888 --> 01:10:57,125
You're not getting out of it that easily.
My offer of cellar and staff still stands.
966
01:10:57,263 --> 01:11:00,794
It wouldn't be Christmas
without your knees-up.
967
01:11:11,303 --> 01:11:16,803
Oh! This is the first piece of clarity
I've had since arriving. Whoo!
968
01:11:20,428 --> 01:11:24,090
Why can't we live in moments
like these forever?
969
01:11:24,220 --> 01:11:26,092
Why?
970
01:11:26,220 --> 01:11:29,585
Because you've stopped
loving me, my darling!
971
01:11:29,719 --> 01:11:31,757
How can you say that?
972
01:11:31,886 --> 01:11:34,883
Oh, I just open my mouth
and the words come out.
973
01:11:35,802 --> 01:11:38,006
Then let's make a fresh start.
974
01:11:53,385 --> 01:11:58,290
There are so many things I need
to tell you about me. Hard things.
975
01:11:58,425 --> 01:12:00,215
I don't care.
976
01:12:00,342 --> 01:12:02,214
I do.
977
01:12:02,342 --> 01:12:06,715
It doesn't matter.
I trust you absolutely.
978
01:12:07,175 --> 01:12:16,798
# I'll see you again
whenever Spring breaks through again...
979
01:12:16,925 --> 01:12:18,203
Come on.
980
01:12:19,049 --> 01:12:23,339
# Time may lie heavy between
981
01:12:24,174 --> 01:12:31,084
# But what has been
is past forgetting
982
01:12:31,215 --> 01:12:36,205
# This sweet memory
983
01:12:36,340 --> 01:12:42,786
# Throughout my life will come to me
984
01:12:42,923 --> 01:12:47,414
# Though the world may go awry... #
985
01:12:49,923 --> 01:12:51,166
Shot!
986
01:12:59,256 --> 01:13:00,712
John!
987
01:13:04,380 --> 01:13:07,710
- Top hole.
- Oh!
988
01:13:07,839 --> 01:13:11,085
I can't decide which is worse,
that you had to sneak outside
989
01:13:11,213 --> 01:13:13,997
to get some privacy,
or that you were caught by Veronica.
990
01:13:14,130 --> 01:13:15,954
Who's Veronica?
991
01:13:16,088 --> 01:13:18,327
I am. It's my name.
992
01:13:21,504 --> 01:13:24,999
- I fail to see the humour in it!
- No, darling, you're quite right.
993
01:13:25,129 --> 01:13:28,495
I can certainly see the serious
implications. It's not a laughing matter.
994
01:13:28,628 --> 01:13:30,500
It's only a laughing matter.
995
01:13:30,628 --> 01:13:34,492
Indecent exposure is illegal.
Even in America.
996
01:13:34,628 --> 01:13:36,702
Yep, yep...
997
01:13:36,837 --> 01:13:39,407
You're right.
And we're very, very sorry, aren't we?
998
01:13:39,545 --> 01:13:43,834
- No, I'm not. This is my husband.
- And this is my home!
999
01:13:43,961 --> 01:13:46,449
Maybe it's time for them
to fly the nest?
1000
01:13:46,585 --> 01:13:50,449
Certainly not. They will stay put
and brazen this out.
1001
01:13:50,585 --> 01:13:53,583
And you can get that ghastly painting
out of my house!
1002
01:13:53,711 --> 01:13:56,578
We do not need any more reminders
of your easy virtue!
1003
01:14:06,876 --> 01:14:09,411
- Excited, Furber?
- Overwhelmed, sir.
1004
01:14:09,543 --> 01:14:14,116
- Miss Hilda...
- Uncle George... How explosive!
1005
01:14:14,251 --> 01:14:16,953
Furber, I recognise that as asparagus.
1006
01:14:17,084 --> 01:14:18,956
Correct, Madam.
1007
01:14:19,084 --> 01:14:22,663
- Ha! I pity poor Panda.
- Oh, what is it now?
1008
01:14:22,792 --> 01:14:27,946
Read! "The Detroit News".
Uncle George is a super sleuth!
1009
01:14:28,083 --> 01:14:31,496
Collecting old newspapers is
the last refuge of a truly boring man.
1010
01:14:31,624 --> 01:14:35,748
Boring? Far from it. lt was a scandal!
1011
01:14:35,874 --> 01:14:38,576
Wasn't it...Mrs Morley?
1012
01:14:39,874 --> 01:14:42,990
Mrs Tom Morley of Detroit, Michigan.
1013
01:14:43,124 --> 01:14:45,328
Don't be grotesque, Hilda.
1014
01:14:45,457 --> 01:14:49,949
Well, I suppose I'd better finish
my meal before it wilts entirely.
1015
01:14:50,082 --> 01:14:52,535
- Any dressing?
- Oh, I am genuinely shocked!
1016
01:14:52,665 --> 01:14:56,361
- No thanks, I always end up wearing it.
- We've been hoodwinked!
1017
01:14:56,498 --> 01:14:58,903
- Especially that runny vinaigrette.
- Fire and brimstone!
1018
01:14:59,039 --> 01:15:00,994
Mayonnaise has more ballast.
1019
01:15:01,123 --> 01:15:04,489
Will you stop this insulting behaviour
immediately?
1020
01:15:10,247 --> 01:15:12,368
Oh, I always hated that photo of myself.
1021
01:15:12,497 --> 01:15:16,573
Of everything I ever
expected, nothing prepared me for this.
1022
01:15:16,706 --> 01:15:19,372
- For what?
- She was charged with murder.
1023
01:15:19,497 --> 01:15:21,985
- I was acquitted.
- And that's consolation?
1024
01:15:22,122 --> 01:15:25,569
- I told you my husband died.
- But you didn't tell us how, did you?
1025
01:15:25,705 --> 01:15:27,695
Does John know about this?
1026
01:15:27,830 --> 01:15:30,152
- I see...
- It's no concern of ours.
1027
01:15:30,288 --> 01:15:32,906
Father! Really!
1028
01:15:33,037 --> 01:15:35,905
Yes, and after Hilda went
to all that trouble digging it up.
1029
01:15:36,037 --> 01:15:38,490
I'm going outside for a cigarette.
Care to join me?
1030
01:15:38,620 --> 01:15:41,535
Thank you, Jim. Don't mind if I do.
1031
01:15:43,287 --> 01:15:44,993
No concern?
1032
01:15:50,328 --> 01:15:52,402
The pack's closing.
1033
01:15:52,536 --> 01:15:55,700
This woman has taken advantage
of our son!
1034
01:15:55,828 --> 01:15:57,865
He'd never have married her
if he'd known.
1035
01:15:57,995 --> 01:16:00,862
- You know that, do you?
- You'd have preferred we had an affair?
1036
01:16:00,994 --> 01:16:04,075
- lt would've been more appropriate!
- Mother!
1037
01:16:04,202 --> 01:16:08,278
- Unfortunately, I agree with you!
- It's easy to talk like this now.
1038
01:16:08,411 --> 01:16:12,486
It isn't easy, it's heartbreaking.
I love John, but it's not blind love.
1039
01:16:13,994 --> 01:16:16,945
Marion, does that sound
indicate contempt or asthma?
1040
01:16:17,076 --> 01:16:19,399
You can't palm us off like that,
Mrs Morley.
1041
01:16:19,535 --> 01:16:21,609
This is your doing.
You're a bigger fool than you look.
1042
01:16:21,742 --> 01:16:23,816
Larita is your type,
isn't she, Father?
1043
01:16:23,951 --> 01:16:26,486
That is the nicest thing
any of you have ever said.
1044
01:16:26,617 --> 01:16:29,153
Hello, are we having a picnic?
1045
01:16:30,826 --> 01:16:36,490
John...l think your wife better unveil
this one herself. Don't you, Larita?
1046
01:16:40,200 --> 01:16:41,740
Before we met...
1047
01:16:42,825 --> 01:16:46,949
...l was involved in a court case
over the death of my husband.
1048
01:16:47,074 --> 01:16:49,397
It was seedy and stressful,
1049
01:16:49,533 --> 01:16:52,447
but since I was found innocent
1050
01:16:52,575 --> 01:16:55,690
I didn't think it necessary
to burden you with the details.
1051
01:16:55,824 --> 01:16:57,103
Innocent?
1052
01:16:57,241 --> 01:17:00,155
She was responsible
for a man killing himself!
1053
01:17:00,282 --> 01:17:03,897
The verdict was suicide
but that's not where it started.
1054
01:17:04,031 --> 01:17:05,822
I thought it was cancer.
1055
01:17:06,490 --> 01:17:08,113
It was...
1056
01:17:08,240 --> 01:17:10,775
But he was so desperately sick.
1057
01:17:10,906 --> 01:17:14,106
lf you'd known him, you would've
understood how forgivable it was.
1058
01:17:14,240 --> 01:17:16,693
- It's not as if she poisoned him.
- That's what everyone thinks.
1059
01:17:16,823 --> 01:17:19,227
- She's a black widow.
- I pity you, Marion.
1060
01:17:19,364 --> 01:17:21,568
Really? Well, I won't let you!
1061
01:17:21,698 --> 01:17:26,070
Right, that's it! You have a dance
to organise, I suggest you all get to it!
1062
01:17:26,197 --> 01:17:27,855
Now!
1063
01:17:31,780 --> 01:17:34,351
Hilda! Come on, inside!
1064
01:17:36,697 --> 01:17:38,522
John...
1065
01:18:03,945 --> 01:18:07,061
Are you crying
because you're angry or ashamed?
1066
01:18:09,194 --> 01:18:10,688
Neither.
1067
01:18:12,361 --> 01:18:16,817
Coming here has been the most
demoralising experience of my life.
1068
01:18:22,027 --> 01:18:25,108
Why didn't you tell me?
1069
01:18:25,235 --> 01:18:27,770
I wanted to,
everything just happened so fast.
1070
01:18:27,901 --> 01:18:30,058
That's not good enough.
1071
01:18:31,402 --> 01:18:34,269
I tried to, several times.
1072
01:18:36,068 --> 01:18:39,978
But you trusted me..."absolutely".
1073
01:18:41,984 --> 01:18:45,930
And you saw the field day
those fatuous hypocrites made of it.
1074
01:18:46,067 --> 01:18:48,058
Please remember they're my family.
1075
01:18:48,192 --> 01:18:50,763
I shouldn't think of them at all
if they weren't.
1076
01:18:50,900 --> 01:18:55,225
Still...you should have told me.
1077
01:18:56,817 --> 01:18:58,890
You should have loved me more.
1078
01:19:00,983 --> 01:19:03,139
I couldn't love you any more.
1079
01:19:03,275 --> 01:19:05,845
You should have loved me better.
1080
01:19:08,983 --> 01:19:11,269
I don't understand you, Larita.
1081
01:19:13,357 --> 01:19:15,892
I don't understand you at all.
1082
01:19:37,189 --> 01:19:41,645
1...2...3... Are you all left feet?
1083
01:19:41,772 --> 01:19:45,847
Dancing with you
is like trying to move a piano.
1084
01:19:45,980 --> 01:19:48,350
I wonder what the American
will be wearing.
1085
01:19:48,480 --> 01:19:50,719
Or who she'll be poisoning!
1086
01:19:53,521 --> 01:19:56,934
Do you like long, moonlit walks?
1087
01:19:57,063 --> 01:19:59,634
Only when taken by people
who annoy me.
1088
01:19:59,771 --> 01:20:03,764
You've got me all to yourself.
Larita's upstairs with a headache.
1089
01:20:03,895 --> 01:20:07,226
And which little fool, pray tell,
gave her that?
1090
01:20:24,477 --> 01:20:28,057
- You ought to see if Larita is coping.
- I already have. She's fine.
1091
01:20:28,185 --> 01:20:31,801
It's been a very trying day
for her, John.
1092
01:20:31,935 --> 01:20:34,933
- Go and escort your wife down.
- No, I wouldn't worry.
1093
01:20:35,060 --> 01:20:38,840
You know my wife, she'll make
an entrance when she's ready.
1094
01:20:43,935 --> 01:20:45,760
Come in.
1095
01:20:48,435 --> 01:20:51,468
Quickly, you'll blow my cover.
1096
01:20:59,350 --> 01:21:01,970
Why are you sitting in the dark?
1097
01:21:02,100 --> 01:21:04,055
Watching.
1098
01:21:05,642 --> 01:21:08,805
People are so universally similar
when their guard is down.
1099
01:21:08,933 --> 01:21:12,216
Oh, hello! Ha-ha!
1100
01:21:15,349 --> 01:21:19,509
It seems they are universally similar
when their guard is up, as well.
1101
01:21:22,558 --> 01:21:24,015
May l?
1102
01:21:26,057 --> 01:21:30,346
- Thank you for being gallant today.
- You are damn cool in a crisis.
1103
01:21:31,765 --> 01:21:34,965
The judge at my trial
said something similar.
1104
01:21:37,140 --> 01:21:39,296
Why did you do it?
1105
01:21:41,848 --> 01:21:44,301
Why did you marry John?
1106
01:21:45,848 --> 01:21:49,509
My first husband was older,
and his end was messy.
1107
01:21:51,556 --> 01:21:53,759
Long afterwards, this...
1108
01:21:55,389 --> 01:21:56,715
...boy...
1109
01:21:56,847 --> 01:22:02,002
...this pure boy arrived
fresh and unblemished.
1110
01:22:05,221 --> 01:22:08,634
I married him because
any other relationship seemed...
1111
01:22:09,513 --> 01:22:12,297
...cheap and squalid.
1112
01:22:14,096 --> 01:22:18,587
My first marriage cost me my youth,
and here I am stealing someone else's.
1113
01:22:20,637 --> 01:22:22,295
What will you do?
1114
01:22:24,387 --> 01:22:26,591
The best I can.
1115
01:22:32,636 --> 01:22:33,916
Oh, Davis, thank you.
1116
01:22:35,678 --> 01:22:38,842
- And thank you, Pinkie.
- No, not at all, my dear.
1117
01:22:38,969 --> 01:22:41,588
- Just look at this turnout.
- Hmm...
1118
01:22:41,720 --> 01:22:46,377
They've only come for a repeat
performance of the Cincinnati succubus.
1119
01:22:46,510 --> 01:22:48,880
May I have the pleasure?
1120
01:23:22,759 --> 01:23:23,956
Oh, look!
1121
01:23:43,132 --> 01:23:46,545
- Tango, please.
- Certainly. Tango...
1122
01:23:54,465 --> 01:23:57,213
Dance with me, John.
1123
01:23:58,715 --> 01:24:00,870
Lari, don't.
1124
01:24:01,006 --> 01:24:04,454
Please? Dance with me.
1125
01:24:46,378 --> 01:24:48,866
That was very gallant.
1126
01:25:40,042 --> 01:25:43,158
- You've got to stop them, Mother.
- No, I don't.
1127
01:26:22,039 --> 01:26:25,155
Oh, marvellous! Marvellous!
1128
01:26:26,955 --> 01:26:30,238
Straight from the bordellos
of Buenos Aires
1129
01:26:30,371 --> 01:26:33,737
to the Hippodrome of London, Maestro,
take it away!
1130
01:26:35,371 --> 01:26:38,702
Jim, this is the end.
1131
01:26:49,579 --> 01:26:51,486
Congratulations, Madam.
1132
01:26:51,621 --> 01:26:55,365
- Have you been drinking, Furber?
- Yes, Madam. Prodigiously.
1133
01:26:55,495 --> 01:26:58,197
- You are full of surprises.
- Oh, yes, Madam.
1134
01:26:58,329 --> 01:27:00,403
I was even arrested once.
1135
01:27:00,536 --> 01:27:02,443
- What for?
- Bigamy.
1136
01:27:10,869 --> 01:27:13,867
Ah, there you are,
Pinkie, I've found you.
1137
01:27:24,660 --> 01:27:26,780
Larita, where are you going?
1138
01:27:26,910 --> 01:27:29,777
Away, Sarah. For John's sake.
1139
01:27:29,910 --> 01:27:31,651
Far, far away.
1140
01:27:32,784 --> 01:27:34,905
ls there anything I can do?
1141
01:27:35,035 --> 01:27:37,404
You can look after him.
1142
01:27:37,534 --> 01:27:41,195
Women like me are tiresome in love.
We expect too much.
1143
01:27:43,075 --> 01:27:46,855
Marry John. It's the way things
always should've been.
1144
01:27:46,992 --> 01:27:51,696
- I'm just so sorry I got in the way.
- You love him that much?
1145
01:27:58,241 --> 01:28:00,694
Go. I'll cover for you.
1146
01:28:00,824 --> 01:28:02,530
Sweet Sarah.
1147
01:28:02,657 --> 01:28:05,905
So glad you've recovered
from your headache.
1148
01:28:06,033 --> 01:28:08,984
Please don't build any convenient
social lies on my behalf.
1149
01:28:09,115 --> 01:28:13,690
- I say, Mother is only...
- Fighting to keep the charade alive?
1150
01:28:13,823 --> 01:28:17,189
You've shown tremendous fortitude
holding this family together, Veronica,
1151
01:28:17,324 --> 01:28:19,113
and I can respect that.
1152
01:28:19,240 --> 01:28:23,944
What I can't respect is the manipulative
road you've chosen to maintain control.
1153
01:28:24,073 --> 01:28:27,355
This war is over. Move on.
1154
01:28:27,490 --> 01:28:30,025
"Move on." Oh, how convenient.
1155
01:28:30,156 --> 01:28:34,528
Oh, wake up, Marion.
Edgar's not coming back.
1156
01:28:34,655 --> 01:28:36,776
And that ring isn't stuck, you are.
1157
01:28:36,906 --> 01:28:41,527
And Hilda, you've got such promise,
yet you're squandering it on malice.
1158
01:28:41,655 --> 01:28:43,563
My advice to both you girls?
1159
01:28:44,489 --> 01:28:48,352
Run! Go see the world
through your own eyes.
1160
01:28:49,988 --> 01:28:53,567
So speaks the siren,
leading the sailors to their death.
1161
01:28:53,696 --> 01:28:56,943
At least I'm not Medusa,
turning them to stone.
1162
01:28:57,072 --> 01:29:01,195
- Get out!
- Larita? Lari?
1163
01:29:02,071 --> 01:29:05,022
- Lari, don't go.
- John, I have to.
1164
01:29:05,154 --> 01:29:08,601
I can't live here. Nothing can.
1165
01:29:08,737 --> 01:29:12,268
But you're my wife, and I love you.
1166
01:29:13,653 --> 01:29:15,727
Oh, John, my darling...
1167
01:29:17,861 --> 01:29:20,480
You don't know what love is.
1168
01:29:20,611 --> 01:29:24,936
You have no idea what it means
to love someone so much
1169
01:29:25,070 --> 01:29:27,771
that you will do anything for them.
1170
01:29:31,611 --> 01:29:34,277
Even inject them with poison
1171
01:29:34,402 --> 01:29:37,933
when they were too feeble
to do it for themselves.
1172
01:29:43,610 --> 01:29:46,892
I don't believe that you could've
ever loved me like that.
1173
01:29:55,567 --> 01:29:57,392
Oh, John, let her go.
1174
01:30:00,192 --> 01:30:05,773
Let her go, off into the sunset
to inject another family with her poison!
1175
01:30:05,900 --> 01:30:07,890
Mother...
Off you go!
1176
01:30:08,025 --> 01:30:10,395
Before your past
catches up with you...again!
1177
01:30:10,524 --> 01:30:12,231
Mother!
1178
01:30:14,775 --> 01:30:17,097
Oh, you evil...
1179
01:30:17,232 --> 01:30:19,389
Mother! Shut up!
1180
01:30:22,650 --> 01:30:25,138
They are predicting warmer weather,
Madam.
1181
01:30:25,274 --> 01:30:28,390
Yes, Furber, I believe they are.
Thank you.
1182
01:30:33,607 --> 01:30:35,064
Very generous.
1183
01:30:36,357 --> 01:30:39,604
There's something special in there
for Jackson. Make sure he gets it.
1184
01:30:39,731 --> 01:30:42,645
Of course.
Where will Madam be staying?
1185
01:30:43,689 --> 01:30:45,147
Who knows?
1186
01:30:45,898 --> 01:30:47,438
Good luck.
1187
01:30:48,689 --> 01:30:50,431
And you, Furber.
1188
01:30:51,397 --> 01:30:53,968
Would you forward the painting please,
Furber?
1189
01:30:54,105 --> 01:30:56,392
To where, sir?
1190
01:31:02,772 --> 01:31:05,723
I shall enjoy passing on
the good news, sir.
1191
01:31:09,729 --> 01:31:15,512
Well, my dear, when the going
gets tough, the tough get going.
1192
01:31:15,646 --> 01:31:19,889
# I've got something to tell you
Really?
1193
01:31:20,938 --> 01:31:24,018
# I got something to say
I'm all ears.
1194
01:31:24,145 --> 01:31:28,932
# I'm going to put
these wheels in motion
1195
01:31:29,062 --> 01:31:32,676
# And let nothing stand in my way...
1196
01:31:34,353 --> 01:31:38,761
# Darling,
I'll climb any mountain
1197
01:31:38,894 --> 01:31:42,722
# Darling, I'll do anything
1198
01:31:42,852 --> 01:31:45,554
# When the going gets tough
1199
01:31:47,685 --> 01:31:50,469
# The tough get going
1200
01:31:52,019 --> 01:31:55,051
# When the going gets rough
1201
01:31:56,809 --> 01:31:59,345
# The tough get rough
1202
01:32:01,476 --> 01:32:04,723
# Gonna get myself across the river
1203
01:32:05,684 --> 01:32:09,548
# That's the price that I'm willing to pay
1204
01:32:09,684 --> 01:32:14,388
# I'm gonna make you stand and deliver
1205
01:32:14,518 --> 01:32:18,925
# And give me love
in that old-fashioned way
1206
01:32:19,059 --> 01:32:24,178
# Oh, darling,
I'll climb any mountain
1207
01:32:24,308 --> 01:32:28,088
# Darling, I'll do anything
1208
01:32:28,225 --> 01:32:30,926
# Cos when the going gets tough
1209
01:32:33,016 --> 01:32:35,765
# The tough get going
1210
01:32:37,099 --> 01:32:40,299
# When the going gets rough
1211
01:32:42,098 --> 01:32:44,587
# The tough get rough...
1212
01:33:07,889 --> 01:33:12,795
My Lords, ladies and gentlemen,
introducing the Easy Virtue Orchestra.
1213
01:33:14,971 --> 01:33:18,254
On piano,
the honourable James Watson.
1214
01:33:22,471 --> 01:33:25,303
On the bass,
Thomas "The Bass Engine" Mason.
1215
01:33:28,846 --> 01:33:31,714
On the euphonium, Oren Marshall.
1216
01:33:33,845 --> 01:33:35,836
Christopher Webster, trombone.
1217
01:33:37,470 --> 01:33:42,293
Drums, Mr David Rowntree
and Benjamin Bryant.
1218
01:33:46,011 --> 01:33:48,465
On the ukulele, Paul Woollard.
1219
01:33:49,886 --> 01:33:52,919
On the guitar, Christopher Montague.
1220
01:33:55,511 --> 01:33:58,378
On the washboard, Jason Boshoff.
1221
01:33:59,677 --> 01:34:04,169
Saxophones, Mike "The Micro" Smith
and Samuel Franke.
1222
01:34:08,593 --> 01:34:12,669
On clarinets, Christopher Caldwell
and Bradley Grant.
1223
01:34:16,635 --> 01:34:20,249
On the trumpets, Gerard Presencer
and Christopher Storr.
1224
01:34:25,343 --> 01:34:29,916
On strings, Sophie Solomon, Perry
Montague-Mason, Emlyn Singleton,
1225
01:34:30,051 --> 01:34:33,831
Boguslaw Kostecki, Peter Lale,
David Daniels and Joe Knight.
1226
01:34:33,966 --> 01:34:35,508
Thank you.
1227
01:34:36,550 --> 01:34:39,217
And on the saw, David Coulter.
1228
01:34:41,008 --> 01:34:44,290
On the bandoneon,
lan "Tango-man" Watson.
1229
01:34:47,174 --> 01:34:50,670
And on the oboe,
Katherine "St-John-St-John" St John.
1230
01:34:52,341 --> 01:34:53,881
Thanks, Kate.
1231
01:34:54,007 --> 01:34:56,294
On the slide whistle, Stephan Elliott.
1232
01:34:57,590 --> 01:34:59,830
Michelle De Vries on the cymbal.
1233
01:34:59,965 --> 01:35:02,003
Barnaby Thompson on spoons.
1234
01:35:03,340 --> 01:35:06,042
Tristram Penna, Gramophone.
1235
01:35:06,173 --> 01:35:07,666
Thanks, Tris.
1236
01:35:07,798 --> 01:35:10,712
And on the banjo, Benedict De Vries.
1237
01:35:13,256 --> 01:35:16,041
Ladies and Gentlemen,
you've been a wonderful audience.
1238
01:35:16,173 --> 01:35:19,372
Tell your friends
and please come back soon.
1239
01:35:19,506 --> 01:35:22,753
And remember, keep your powder dry.
1240
01:35:26,089 --> 01:35:28,458
Goodnight. Thank you.
1241
01:35:31,505 --> 01:35:35,581
# I'm going to buy myself
a one-way ticket
1242
01:35:36,672 --> 01:35:40,617
- # Nothing's going to hold me back
- Really?
1243
01:35:40,754 --> 01:35:44,286
# Your love is like a slow train coming
1244
01:35:45,338 --> 01:35:48,619
# And I feel it coming down the track
1245
01:35:48,754 --> 01:35:54,751
- # Oh, darling
- I'll climb any mountain!
1246
01:35:54,878 --> 01:35:58,872
- # Darling
- I'll do anything!
1247
01:35:59,003 --> 01:36:03,660
- # When the going gets tough
- # When the going gets tough
1248
01:36:03,795 --> 01:36:07,788
- # The tough get going
- # The tough get going
1249
01:36:07,920 --> 01:36:12,624
- # When the going gets rough
- # When the going gets rough
1250
01:36:12,752 --> 01:36:17,872
- # The tough get rough
- # The tough get rough
1251
01:36:18,002 --> 01:36:20,669
# Ooh, can I touch you?
1252
01:36:22,002 --> 01:36:25,083
# And do the things that lovers do
1253
01:36:27,210 --> 01:36:29,876
# Ooh, I want to hold you
1254
01:36:30,960 --> 01:36:35,203
# I've got to get it through to you... #
1255
01:36:46,042 --> 01:36:47,914
Gobble, gobble!
102235
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