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(CAR DOOR THUDS)

(CAR DOOR THUDS)

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

WOMAN: Buddy,
I said I was sorry.

I'm sorry, Renn!

God, are you just gonna
punish me forever?

You are?

Oh, my God. That is so sad.

You left me.

I know. I know. I thought
you were right next to me.

- I wasn't.
- I know.

- I was in the store.
- I know.

And some old lady
kept asking if I was lost,

and I kept saying no,
but she kept asking,

and her breath
smelled like batteries.

(CHUCKLES)

Double-A?

Hey, Renn.

I am so sorry.

That will never, ever
happen again.

- Promise?
- Pinkie.

I will never leave you
in a store again.

- You'll never leave me?
- I'll never leave you.

- Hundred percent?
- Hundred percent.

Okay.

I'll never leave you. I promise.

(PHONE RINGS)

(SIRENS WAIL, HORNS HONK)

(RINGING CONTINUES)

(SIGHS)

WOMAN: Renn. She's gone.

(WOMAN SOBS)

Davis here. Yep. Mmm.
(PUTS PHONE DOWN)

Okay, Cleveland.
All right, enjoy your flight.

- Thank you.
- All right, next up.

LEIGH: Hey. It's me again. Um...

I'm just trying to get in touch
with you before you board.

There's a lot
going on here right now,

so I could really
use your help.

(BLEEP)

Hey, uh, Renn, it's Kevin.

Here's what I think.

I'm trying to promote you to
supervisor. It's a big honor.

Just take a few days. Think
it over. I'll call you, okay?

- (BLEEP)
- MAN: Hey, buddy. It's Dad.

I'm tracking your flight
in case you change your mind

about wanting me
to pick you up.

- Glad you're coming home.
- (BLEEP)

(MUFFLED) Anything out there?

- Sorry?
- Anything out there?

- No.
- That's a bummer.

I was hoping for aliens
or robots or robot aliens.

- You know what I mean?
- (SNORING)

Yeah, and here I was
relieved with nothing.

You're wanting this flight
to be all quiet,

and, well, me,
someone who's afraid of flights,

really wants it to all just turn
into a Michael Bay film.

- What Michael Bay film?
- Con Air, specifically.

- Oh, wow.
- (SNORING CONTINUES)

Yeah, I don't... I don't think
he directed that one, actually.

Hmm?

Okay. Well, yeah.
It's still a great movie, so...

Con Air is a great movie?

Every action movie from the '90s
is a great film.

- Okay, so you're afraid
of flying.
- Yes.

You think every action movie
from the '90s is a great film?

- Of course.
- Yeah, I think
this is going very well.

And yet I know nothing
about you.

- Ask away.
- Oh, you are gonna regret
saying that.

I ask so many questions.
Okay. What kind of music
do you listen to?

Dogs? Or should we just
end this conversation right now?

And what do you do for a living?

Is Cleveland
your final destination?

Are you from there?
And what's your name?

Um, going in order,
if I can remember them all.

Sad British pop music.

Dogs, of course. I think
they're better than people.

I'm... a writer.

Uh, I'm a born-and-raised
Clevelander.

Uh, and my name is Renn.

(SNORING CONTINUES)

Your turn.

- I am not from Cleveland.
- Great.

And I am going there
for a work conference.

I'm Zoey.

(ANNOUNCEMENT BEEP)

FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
Prepare for arrival.

I see you're, uh, taking in
our beautiful Cleveland weather.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, this sucks.

- Yeah.
- (PHONE RINGS)

- That the missus?
- No, uh, it's my sister.

Oh. Home to see the family.

- Uh, yeah. Ish.
- Okay.

Not really.

All right,
that's incredibly vague

and makes me wanna ask you

a million more questions,

but, um, my car is here, so...

Yeah. Well, um,
you're new to the city.

If you need a restaurant
recommend... I don't know.

Do you wanna...
We don't... We don't have to.

- No. Give me your phone.
- Okay.

Yes.

I never know how to ask that.

- No, it was smooth.
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Very.

- There you go.
- See ya.

Do you mind
taking the long way, please?

DRIVER: What?

The long way, to my destination,
if you don't mind.

It's a super weird thing to ask.
Kind of expensive.

But yeah, sure, of course.
Just give me five stars.

Thanks.

(♪ COCONUT RECORDS: "WIRES")

MOM: What?
- RENN: Show me your hands.

- Mom. Did you steal
the espresso spoon?
- What spoon?

The spoon you asked the waitress
for, for your espresso,

even though you didn't order
an espresso, that one.

- Oh, that one.
- Yeah.

- What about it?
- You cannot steal espresso
spoons from restaurants.

- You know,
they prepare for this.
- Who does?

- They stock up.
The restaurants.
- What are you talking about?

They have extras.
In fact, they're happy
when you steal them.

- They're happy about it?
- Yep.

And why are they happy
about it?

Because they need you
to steal them.

- They have too many.
- Just too many?

- Yes.
- They're running out of room.

It makes a lot of sense
when you put it like that.

- You're like
the Robin Hood of spoons.
- Yep.

Great, well,
you're a kleptomaniac, so
I don't know what to tell you.

(LAUGHS)

It's insane.

Stole a bunch of stuff again.

- Oh, it's just a spoon.
Come on.
- Smile.

- My mom, the criminal.
Okay, let's go.
- (LAUGHS)

- (KNOCKING)
- Yeah, one sec.

Yeah?

- Hey.
- Hey.

I didn't hear you come in.

Yeah, no, I just... I just got
in. Uh, the ride took forever.

- I would have come
and gotten you.
- You're probably busy and...

Dad was gonna get you.

Leigh, I... I'm good, right?

- I'm here, so...
- Okay.

- Are you okay?
- What?

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm... I'm fine.

All right.
I'll let you, um... settle in.

- Yeah. I'll just...
- Yeah.

Um, I was thinking

we should probably aim
to leave at nine tomorrow

'cause we have
a bunch of stuff to do.

- Nine.
- Nine. Great.

Okay.

Happy you're home.

Good to see you.

(WHISPERS)
What am I talking about?

(SIGHS)

DAD: It's not in there.

The booze, the good stuff,
I moved it.

I would have picked you up
from the airport.

- I know.
- You like to take the long way.

So, how you doing?

Yeah, I'm fine.

- How are you doing?
- How am I doing?

Dad, come on, you were married
to her for 15 years.

Don't you worry about me, okay?
Let's focus on you.

How's work?
Your place, your apartment?

Uh... It's... Um...

I mean, it's good, Dad. I mean,
it's... What's going on?

- What?
- Mm-mm.

I feel like I'm failing you.

- What do you mean?
- That I'm... I'm failing you.

- You're not.
- Yeah, well, I feel like I am.

I feel like I should tell you

something comforting
and profound.

- Like what?
- I don't know.
Quoting Thoreau or something.

I don't even know if
he's the right author, actually.

- The woods guy?
- Yeah. He went to the pond.

- Why do you need to quote him?
- Because that's what we do.

We... When we don't have
the words ourselves
to get through stuff,

we borrow it from somebody else
who said it.

No, I don't need to quote trees
to get through this, Dad.
I'm fine.

And you're fine, and Leigh
is Leigh, and we're all fine.

No, we are not fine, okay?
We're sucking, officially.
We are.

I mean, look at this, right now.

Here we are
in this perfect father-son,

kitchen-table,
drinking-after-dark moment.

And I can't think of
a single goddamn thing to say

that doesn't sound like
I was just googling

"how to console a loved one."

Did you?

Yes.

(CHUCKLES)

Sorry. What did it say?

- That I'm fucking this up.
- You are not fucking it up.

Okay? You're here.
You got me my favorite booze.

- You googled something about...
- How to console a loved one.

How to console a loved one.
See? You're doing great.

- Great?
- Well, good.

Uh-uh. Good.

- Yeah.
- Borderline sucking.

No, because if you were really
great, that would be weird.

I would... I would...
This is better.

You shouldn't be a pro at this.

Well, thank you.

For making me feel better.

Of course.
It's what I'm here for.

Ah. Okay. Ooh.

- (GROWLS)
- Yes, great.

Okay.

Good night.

Don't stay up late.

No chance. I'm... I'm beat.

(MESSAGE BLEEP)

(♪ YUMI ZOUMA: "IN CAMERA")

I gotta say,
this is kind of weird,

not having our mouth-breathing,

disgusting friend between us.

Yeah. God, I miss him.

I miss him, yeah.
Miss him so much.

- But here we are, you know.
- (LAUGHS)

- You look amazing.
- I wanted to look nice.

Airplane me was... airplane me.

- What would you like?
- Uh, champagne, please.

- Oh, fancy.
- I like to set a mood.

Uh, champagne for her.
And I'll take a tequila soda
with lime, please.

- ZOEY: That's all
you're gonna say?
- What do you want me to say?

- I mean, it's Cleveland.
- How... I don't know, you know?

More than that.
I mean, you're gonna make me
pull it out of you.

You're worse than my patients.

- Patients?
- Mm-hm.

Doctor?

- Therapist.
- Oh, no.

Oh, well, this is bad.
I'm gonna have to leave now.

- But it was so fun.
- Come on.

Two hours and you're just now
telling me you're a therapist?

- You really want me
to answer that?
- No, I don't, actually.

ZOEY: Mm-mm.

So, they don't have,

like, therapy conventions

in the place that you live in?

Oh, no, they do. They do. Yeah.

Then why Cleveland?

Why is this still my question?
I asked you a question.

What was it like growing up
in the land of Cleve?

Yeah, I answered said question.
But fine. Uh...

You hang out
in someone's basement,
make out in someone's basement.

You know, there's a lot of, uh,
basement-related activities.

- Mm-hm.
- And it's just that, you know.

You spend time with family.

- Spend time with friends.
- Mmm.

That's it. Your turn.

Well, I'm here
for a therapy conference, so...

Yeah, but...

But I'm also getting a divorce.

I didn't know people came
to Cleveland to get divorced.

(CHUCKLES) They don't, uh,
but they do come to Cleveland

when their ex is finally
moving out of the house

and they need to get away
for a couple of days.

Yeah.

So, if you don't mind me asking,

what was the cause of death?

Well, I mean,
the death certificate

would say his infidelities,

but I think that's like saying

Scarface died
from falling off of that ledge

rather than
the thousands of bullets

that hit him
on his way down, you know?

- Sick Scarface reference.
- Thanks.

Well, I'm sorry.
That... That sucks.

I'm not.

(♪ WILD NOTHING: "BLUE WINGS")

- Oh!
- Oh!

So, what about you?

I mean, I remember you saying
that you were here

spending time with your sister.

Um, so, I guess,
why are you home?

- Uh, family reunion.
- That's cool.

Oh, yeah.

Well, cheers to you spending
more time with your family.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- This was... really nice.
- This was really nice.
Thank you.

Another drink? One more?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

(SIGHS)

DAD: How was the flight?

It was good.

Did you eat?

No.

Well, if you're hungry
or whatever,

there's gonna be food there.

At the restaurant?

Yeah, of course there's gonna be
food at the restaurant.

I'm just saying
if you were wondering, maybe.

No, I'm not hungry.
Who's gonna be there?

Uh, Mom, Leigh, me, you,
and Rick.

- Rick?
- You excited to see Rick?

Yeah, I just... I can't wait.
One big happy family, huh?

Well, happy or not,
it is a family.

Exactly what your mom needs
right now.

- That and a miracle.
- You don't know that.

Yeah, I've...
I've seen the research.

Well, in case you're wrong...

The case studies...
I mean, Dad, come on.

In case you're wrong, what's
wrong with being positive?

You mean be fake?

Pretend? Dad, come on.

I'm not saying
the road ahead's gonna be easy.

And I'm not saying
to pretend or be fake.

I'm saying I don't think
you should plan to lose her.

Because... I think there's
a lot of memories still to come

that you'll miss out on.

Yeah.

- Uh, Wheeland.
- Uh, Barona, actually.

- MOM: Oh, hey.
- DAD: Hey.

- Good to see you.
- MOM: Good to see you.

- You look good.
- So do you.

- This is nice.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I hope the food's okay.
I don't know.

I bet it is.

Okay, so, um,
before we get started,
I have two rules, right?

Number one is
there is going to be no crying.

All right?
If anybody has to cry,
they will go to the bathroom.

And, um, number two,
let's not make this weird.

I... I know that Rick
is on his way. Darren is here.

This is the first time
that we have all been together.

- I don't want it to be awkward.
- Okay.

I think you broke
rule number two.

(LAUGHTER)

- Ooh.
- DARREN: What'd you get?

- I got you tequila.
- It's the house cab.

DARREN: Can I get one of those?

Thanks, Mom.

- Should have got a bottle.
- LEIGH: I know.

- MOM: So, how was the flight?
- Mmm.

The flight was... was good.
Kind of long. Uh...

About two minutes into it,
the guy sitting next to me

decided to take his shoes off.

- DARREN: What?
- Oh, no.

- And then his socks.
- No.

Uh, and then
about halfway through,

he pulled out
a bag of hard-boiled eggs

and just started
peeling 'em and...

- No, he did not.
- Who travels with eggs?

I swear to God.

Hey, buddy, I'm very happy
to see you.

Yeah. You too.

And thank you very much
for taking me today.

- It's very sweet of you.
- Of course.

RICK: Hi.

Hi. Hi, hi.

- DARREN: Hey.
- Okay.

- Oh, I guess we're...
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Sorry. Traffic was crazy.

- Oh, it's okay.
- Just a crazy day.

What? I stopped at the bar.
I was finishing a call.

- MOM: That's good.
- What did I miss?

Nothing.
I was just telling Leigh

that I was grateful

that she came with me
to the clinic.

And I said, "Of course."

Yeah, thanks.
Sorry. I couldn't.

(SIGHS)

LEIGH: It's okay. I got it.

MOM: All right, so toast.

Thank you, everyone,
for coming tonight.

I wanted to say
how much I appreciate

you all being here with me.

And I know
that the next few months

are gonna be really tough.

I'm breaking rule number one.
(LAUGHS)

- What?
- So silly.

What rule? What?
You... Did she make rules?

It doesn't matter.

♪ Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday,
happy birthday ♪

♪ Happy birthday... ♪

(♪ ANDREA AND ERVIN LITKEL:
"THE TOUCH OF YOU")

RENN: Mmm.

(GROANS)

- Let's hear it.
- From here, we go to the
hospital to get her things.

Then we go to the funeral home
to meet with Rick.

(GROANS)

And then we go
to meet the priest.

The what?

The priest.

- The priest?
- A priest.

- A priest-priest?
- Yes.

- She's Jewish.
- Rick said she wanted one.

- A priest?
- Yes.

- At her funeral?
- Yes.

- Even though
she's literally Jewish.
- You already said that.

- This is insane.
- I don't know.
That's what he said.

That our Jewish mother
wanted a priest at her funeral?

Not once in my 28 years
on this planet

did I ever once hear her say,

"You know, when I die,

make sure to go find
some random fucking priest

to give the eulogy
at my funeral."

I don't know. It's Rick's call.

How? We're her children.

- Because he's paying for it.
- Oh, my God.

- That's an insane statement.
- Why?

Because this isn't like,
"I'm paying for dinner.

I feel like blooming onion.

Let's go to fucking
Outback Steakhouse."

This is her life!

- Okay.
Here we got some pancakes.
- What the fuck?

We got extra crispy bacon.

Melon and some yogurt.
Uh, all good?

- LEIGH: Thank you.
- Yay.

Ooh. All right, fine.
What comes after the priest?

And then we go to Mom's house,
and we get her clothes for...

For the coffin?

Even though
she wanted to be cremated.

- You don't know that.
- She hated it here.

- She did not hate it here.
- Leigh. Leigh.

She hated it here. I mean,
maybe she loved it in like an

"I was born and raised here,
so it's home" kind of way.

But no. No, she hated it here.

And now she's gonna be buried

in the cold
Cleveland ground forever.

Well, maybe if you would have
answered your phone
any one of the 30 times

that I tried to call or text you
in the past few days,

then you could have been a part
of the decision-making process.

Whatever.

Let us pray
for this bountiful harvest.

Thank you for this food. Amen.

Okay.

The priest would have done
a better job.

(♪ BEACH FOSSILS: "SLEEP APNEA")

♪ Pardon me ♪

♪ I didn't realize ♪

♪ What's in your eyes ♪

♪ My arms are open wide ♪

♪ But I can't ever decide
what I wanna do ♪

♪ I'm staring at the sky ♪

♪ But I can't tell which way
my thoughts are traveling... ♪

- Can you help me?
- Yeah, sorry.

So there's, um,
a treatment at Ohio State.

And the results look promising.

- Yeah, how do you know that?
- It says it right there.

Yeah, but they're all gonna say
the results are good.

I mean, they... I... How do we
know this is a good choice?

(CLEARS THROAT)

There's one at MD Anderson.

Maybe I could call Lisa and...

(LEIGH'S VOICE FADES)

NURSE: She loved that thing.

Slept with it every night.

- And you must be Renn.
- Yeah, hi.

- It's nice to finally meet you.
- Hi.

- Oh, honey. I'm so sorry.
- Thank you.

Renn, did you meet Kim?
She took amazing care of Mom.

She always snuck her in
extra desserts.

Your mother
was a pleasure to know.

Well, follow me.

I've got the rest of her things
packed up.

Thank you, room.

LEIGH: Mom, you can't stay
in there forever.

MOM: Um, uh, yes, I can.

Okay, what if we come in there?

Renn, that is the exact same
thing as me coming out there.

- I'm not doing it, no.
Not doing it.
- Mom, it's temporary, okay?

It's gonna grow back.
Don't stress.

Okay, how about you take
a picture and text it to us,

and then we're not really
seeing you,

and you're not really
seeing us.

All right, fine. All right.

Okay, I'll do it.

I just need a minute.

- (SIGHS)
- Can we stop?

Leigh?

Leigh, can we stop somewhere, please?

- No. We have a schedule.
- Just for a minute.

- So how's John?
- He's fine.

- When's he coming in?
- Uh, I don't... I don't know.

- He's working on it.
- What does that mean?

It means that he's got some work
stuff that he's gotta deal with,

and he's gonna come out
when he can.

Okay. Are you angry with me?

- No.
- Are you sure?

- Yeah.
- Because it really feels like
you're angry with me.

Why are you suddenly so
interested in how I'm feeling?

Let's just... Let's just talk
about something else.

Okay. How's John?

See, in the comedy world,

we call that a callback.

I don't wanna
talk about comedy either.

Wait. We need to talk
about the schedule.

- What about it?
- We need to amend it.

- Why?
- I gotta buy a tie.

- You didn't bring a tie?
- I don't own a tie.

- You don't own a tie?
- Not a black one.

Not one that I can wear
to a funeral.

Yeah. Okay, fine.

Why is that so annoying to you?

You can borrow my car later.
It's fine.

Thank you.

Can I borrow it now?

This place is so depressing,

I just wanna drive
into the wall.

- Oh, shit. I saw that.
- What?

- Uh, that was a smile.
- It wasn't a smile.

What is this,
my first day on Planet Earth?

- Yeah, that was a smile.
- It was a slight smile.

- Still a smile.
- Fine, it was a smile.

All right, I'm gonna go
find Rick. Don't say "Ugh."

Yeah, you do that. I'm gonna
stay right here in Sad Town.

(GENTLE ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

- Divorce him?
- You have to do something, Mom.

I can't divorce Rick.
Not now anyway.

- Why not?
- Because. Because I... I...

So you're just gonna
stick it out? That sounds awful.

Well, honey,
what is the alternative?

I am going to be
a then twice-divorced,

56-year-old lady
living in Cleveland.

- Mm-hm.
- That is the saddest sentence
I have ever said.

Yeah, the only sad part
about that statement

is that you're living
in Cleveland.

I mean, you gotta
get out of here.

Go to Paris. Go to... Alaska.

- (LAUGHS)
- Go to Rome.

- Rome?
- Yes. You should go somewhere.

- Oh, my God.
- Anywhere else.

Do your eat, pray, love thing.
You know, minus the... the pray.

Yeah. And minus the love,
'cause it's not happening.

- So, what do we have?
We have...
- And then you have eat...

- Eat, eat.
- Eat, eat. That sounds good.

- Yeah.
- But seriously.

Seriously, Mom, you should go.

- No, I can't. My job.
- Then quit your job.

No, I can't quit my job, because
then I have a house to pay for

and then I have a car,
and I do have a life here, I do.

I can't... I can't go.
As much as I would like to,
I can't, and...

Well, then, I'll come home.

I will walk through this divorce
with you, okay?

- We'll get divorced together.
- You're gonna go through
two divorces?

And... And then we can find you
somebody nice,

like actually nice,
to spend time with.

Like this guy down here,
he looks very seasoned,

and like he's lived
a great life, you know?

Probably stays up
on his current events and...

- There's definitely
options out there.
- He's cute.

Yeah, he's...
He also looks like he's taken.

Rick was not such a bad guy.
I'm telling you, he wasn't.

He was fun.

Sure, yeah. But, seriously,
I can come home and help you...

No, you're not coming home.

No. You're living your life.

You have to stay writing.
You're such a good writer.

Promise me you will
keep writing. Promise me.

- Really?
- Mm-hm.

- Promise?
- I promise.

- Hundred percent?
- Hundred percent.

LEIGH: Renn, Renn.

Downstairs.

(SOMBRE ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)

So, what are we doing here?

What's about to go down
in the consoling room?

Uh, the funeral guy
is just setting up some caskets.

I don't know.
We're just waiting for him.

- Setting up?
- Yeah.

- Like a casket display?
- A casket display.

Like a casket showroom?

Yeah. How many more questions
are you gonna ask, Renn?

- How many caskets?
- Three.

I mean,
three that fit in my budget.

- You have a casket budget?
- Yeah, I do.

Maybe they have
certified pre-owned caskets.

Just like the new ones
but just a little bit cheaper.

I'm sorry, Renn,
do you wanna contribute?

Maybe with some of that writer's
money you've been hoarding?

Well, that's
a particularly low blow.

- Okay, enough. Both of you.
- (SIGHS)

Not here and not now.
Rick, who is the funeral guy?

I don't know. He's just some
weird guy that runs this place.

- No. I mean what is his name?
- It's Bob.

- Hi. I'm Bill.
- Ah. So nice to meet you.

- What was it again?
- Bill.

Bill, that's right.
So nice to meet you, Bill.

Excuse me for one second.
Mrs. Donnellan, your family
is going to love you in that.

It's a forever home.
(LAUGHS)

Okay, then, let me show you
what we got.

Some great options here.

Uh, question about
the one on the right, Bill.

Can we get anything
written on there?

Like a... Like a custom message?

Or is it just the standard
"rest in peace"?

Oh, sure. No, no, no,
you could... you could
customize it any way you want.

Names. Dates.

- Favorite saying, perhaps.
- Favorite saying, perhaps.

- That's right.
- Jinx. Like YOLO.

Renn.

She would have thought
that was funny. Come on.

- Are those her initials?
- LEIGH: You can ignore him.

This one's interesting
on the left.

- Oh, well,
that is very popular.
- RENN: I can see why, Bill.

I love the idea of a casket
with flames on it, you know.

It really sends a solid message
to your loved one

where you think they're headed.

Renn.

Yeah, sure. Do you wanna
go with that one, then?

- Mmm...
- No, continue ignoring him.

Yeah, just ignore me.

- I vote for the one
in the middle.
- I agree.

- You heard him.
- Well, shall we?

Are you crazy?
I'm trying to promote you
to payroll supervisor.

- I know.
- It's an honor.

I mean, other people want it.
Like Gary.

He really wants it. I mean, you
can make a lot of money here.

I mean, you're our guy.
Supervisor of the payroll.

We can wait for you.
Think about it.

- I'll call you.
- Yeah. Thank you.

(PHONE RINGS)

- Everything okay?
- Yep. All good.

Well, great scheduling job.

From a funeral home

to the cradle of death itself.

LEIGH: Just be nice in there.
He's a priest.

RENN: Yeah, and clearly a demon
followed him home and moved in.

Is that an Annabelle doll
in the front yard?

- It's not an Annabelle doll.
- It is. Look. Right...

- No.
- It's a...
It's an Annabelle doll.

- Maybe he has nieces.
- What, and they left it behind?

Maybe he doesn't know
they left it behind.

I'm assuming he's a human person
with human eyes.

Maybe he lost his eyes fighting
the demon who followed him home.

Holy shit.

- No.
- First a smile, then a joke.

I mean, for someone
that didn't wanna talk
about comedy an hour ago,

this is pretty huge.

- Don't get used to it.
- Oh, you're changing.

I can see it happening.

Ah, there we go. Right on cue.

(MUSIC BLARING ON CAR STEREO)

The Miata.

He's blocking the sidewalk.

- (MUSIC STOPS)
- I'm gonna call in
a ticket for him.

- You get a juice?
- Smoothie juice.

- What's a smoothie juice?
- A smuice. I'm on a diet.

Oh, well, you look great.

(HESITANT PIANO NOTES PLAYING)

- Rick, hey. Hey.
- Father Dan.

You must be Renn and Leigh.
Pleasure to meet you both.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm in the middle of a lesson.

But come in, come in.
Welcome, welcome.

(HESITANT PIANO NOTES CONTINUE)

All right. Adam, keep
practicing. You're doing great.

Sharon, he's doing great.
He sounds fantastic.

SHARON: It's so good.

I'm so glad you guys are finally

getting to meet Father Dan.

- Finally?
- RICK: Yeah.

Father Dan has been
a true champion for us

throughout this entire
difficult process.

No, really,
he's a spiritual hero

that, no matter how bad it got,
never let us down.

It just means so much that he'll
be there for us in the end.

Thank you, Rick.
So nice of you to say.

I'm so relieved to hear
that you knew our mother.

I... I didn't know that.

He didn't know her.
He never met her.

He's more my spiritual hero.

- Hero.
- But that's where
you two come in.

I've already told him tons
about your mother.

What she likes,
her favorite foods and stuff.

But what he'll do now is

he'll sit and talk
with you separately,

gather some more information,

and then stitch it together

with my information,

and we'll have our eulogy.

Like a eulogy quilt.

I know you're trying to be
funny, but, yeah, exactly.

A eulogy quilt.

I got some errands to run,
so I'm gonna take off.

Handoff is complete.
(CHUCKLES)

All right.

- All right. Thanks, Rick.
- Thank you.

- Bye, Rick.
- DAN: All right.

(SIGHS)

Sorry I didn't clean up.

I didn't really
have a chance today.

He's getting so much better.

Not so good, like,
maybe two months ago,

but, like, that little thing,
doing really well.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, no, he's really good.

- Really good.
- Thank you. So, um, who's up?

(CLOCK TICKING)

- DAN: Renn?
- Sorry.

Uh, can you repeat the question?

Uh... Oh.

How are you?

I'm fine.

So how does this work? Um...

You just ask me a series of
questions about how I'm doing?

Or do I just keep rambling?

Well, before I get started,
I always like to ask

if the person I'm talking to
would prefer

to deliver
the eulogy themselves.

- No.
- I understand.

It can be challenging,
to say the least.

Yeah.

But I still like to ask,

just to make sure,

before I get started.

Okay.

Yeah. No. Thank you.
The answer's still no, though.

Okay.

Perhaps we should start, uh,

by you telling me
a little bit about her.

Tell me about Lily Katherine.

Lily Katherine.

Just curious. What did Rick say?

What did he tell you
about my mother?

Well, I prefer not to get into
your father's comments.

- Step.
- Stepfather. Sorry.

Stepfather's comments. Or
your sister's, for that matter.

Okay, so tomorrow's eulogy

is just supposed to be,
like... like, a surprise?

I don't know
if I'd quite put it that way,

but I've always found
it helps for the person

to think of their loved one
on their own.

However you wanna see them,
not influenced by anyone else.

So tell me about her, Renn.

Her hobbies, favorite movies,
or a favorite memory of her.

Yeah, I don't know. I...
I can't think of one right now.

What's the first thing
that comes to mind

when you think of her?

That she would have hated this.

What do you mean, this?

Sitting around, talking about
the end of her life

with Rick's spiritual hero.

No offense.

Why would she hate that?

Because she hated people
talking about her.

I mean, it's why
she didn't tell anyone

what she was going through.

She, you know, kept it all
inside. No one could know.

I see.

She hated hearing
people's opinions,

hearing about some aunt or uncle

who took a magic pill
and beat it.

Maybe that's a better place
to start.

Not telling you
her favorite hobbies and food,

you know, the bullshit.

Sorry. Language.
The stuff she liked.

Because who gives a shit?
Again, sorry.

But telling you what she hated.

Find me somebody who hated
running into someone at the mall

as much as she did.

I think that says a lot more
about my mom.

All the things she hated.
Like people and talking.

And this.
She would have hated this.

LEIGH: You did what?
- LILY: What?

- What?
- What did you take?

Oh, my God.
I didn't do anything.

I just took a cup, okay?

You took a...
Oh, my God. You did it again.

Leigh, calm down, okay?
People do this all the time
in restaurants.

It's why they keep extras.
They have extra stock.
It's fine.

- Yes, it is.
- That is not true. Unreal.

- You took the saucer?
- I did. And a spoon.

- You took the entire set?
- (LILY LAUGHS)

- You can't take
one piece of the set.
- LILY: Exactly.

- LEIGH:
You're gonna get arrested.
- Give me a break.

LEIGH: I'm not bailing you out.

Why are you getting
so worked up?

Because there is not
one single thing

that you've
taken seriously today.

There has not been one moment
that has registered with you.

And it's fucking pissing me off.

It's registered with me.

No, it hasn't. It hasn't.

You have been
going through the motions.

It's like you're not even here.

I'm here, okay?

But can you just let me
have my reaction

and figure this out on my own?

You're not figuring it out.

You're making jokes.

You're not feeling anything.

Who cares?

This... This is bullshit.

- This is not bullshit, Renn.
- Her favorite food?

It's not,
because it's happening.

This is really
fucking happening.

The day that we've dreaded,
that we've thought about,

is finally here.

And you can't continue
to ignore the fact

that she's sick anymore
because she's gone.

- I'm not ignoring anything.
- She's gone.

- Are you hearing
what I'm saying?
- Yes, I hear you.

- She's gone.
- I hear you.

Well, then,
have some sort of reaction.

I'm having a reaction!

I'm yelling, aren't I?
That's a reaction.

Just because you can't see it
doesn't mean I'm not doing it.

Renn, I know you pretty well,

and you're just doing
the exact same thing

that you've always done, which
is you ignore your problems.

You don't wanna feel anything.
You don't wanna talk about it.

- I got it.
- Well, then, ask questions.

Like what?

How are you gonna deal
with your life

without having your mom in it?

How are you going to move on?

You don't need to know
the answers to the questions,

but you need
to start asking them.

No.

Well, then, we're gonna be
right back here,

we're gonna be back here
six months from now,

a year from now,
six years from now,

having the exact
same conversation

and you hitting
the ignore button when I call.

You don't know that.

- Okay.
- Okay.

(ON RADIO) ♪ Let's go, baby
Let's go, baby, come on ♪

♪ Take your cue from me now ♪

♪ I'm saying, baby, let's go ♪

♪ Will you listen to me? ♪

♪ I'm saying, baby,
come on now ♪

♪ Let's go 'cause we can't
hold back no more ♪

(MUSIC STOPS)

(LEIGH UNLOCKS FRONT DOOR)

I'm gonna go up in her closet
and see what I can find
for tomorrow.

- Okay.
- I don't wanna be here long.

We'll just come back tomorrow
and get the rest of her stuff.

(♪ FRANK LOCRASTO:
"HOPE STREET")

Hey, buddy. What are you doin'?

(LEIGH SOBBING)

Leigh?

(MUSIC ENDS)

(SOBBING CONTINUES)

WOMAN: Are you lost?

Excuse me. Are you lost?

- What?
- Are you lost?

Uh, sorry. I need a tie.

Oh, men's dress.
Um, right up there.

Oh, shit.

You need anything?

- Renn?
- (WHISPERS) Fuck.

- Hey. Hey.
- Renn, dude.

How's it going, man? How's LA?

How's the whole
writing thing going?

- Catch me up.
- It's good. LA's good.

You write anything lately?
Anything I would have seen?

No, uh, not yet. Just taking a
lot of meetings and stuff and...

Shoot. I mean, I'm sure
it'll pick up. It takes a...

You know, my cousin
actually left for LA,
doing the whole acting thing.

Real weird-looking dude.

Yeah, he looks like
he got hit in the back

while he was making
a surprised face,

and his face
just kind of stayed that way.

- I'm sorry to hear that.
- Yeah.

I think he actually
just booked, um,

a laundry detergent
commercial.

Uh, are you asking me?
I... I don't know him.

Yep. No, it was. It was. It was
a laundry detergent commercial.

Anyhow, dude worked one day,
made 20 grand.

One day, 20 smackaroos?

No, I mean, I've heard the money
in commercials is crazy.

Yeah, it's crazy.
You should do them, man.

Yeah, that's more advertising.

But I'll keep that in mind,
for sure.

Yeah, you know, keep...
keep it in mind.

Anyways, how are you...
how you doing, man? How's, um...

I... I heard the news.
I heard about your mom.

Yeah. Yeah.

Um...

- Yeah, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Damn. I, um...

You know, I...
I remember your mom.

She was...
She was a really nice lady.

- Yeah. Thank you.
- Um, she...

I remember she used to always be
late to pick you up from school.

(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, that's true.

Ah, sorry, that's... that's
probably not the best memory

to bring up right now.

No, it's... it's a good one.

You know, I actually also
remember my mom, one day,

she was late to come pick me up

because my dad had just
gotten fired from work

and he came home early.

And then him and my mom
got into this, like, huge fight

and she stormed out, and I guess
because she was so pissed,

she forgot to come get me.

And then, um, I remember your
mom came up to me and was like,

"Hey, Andy,
I'll just wait for you.

Come back in the car. We'll
listen to music. It'll be fun."

And then so I got in the car
with you and your mom,

and then she put on...

- Paul Simon.
- Paul Simon.

She loved Paul Simon.

And then it was just...
just the three of us, you know?

Me, you, and your mom
sitting in the car,

listening to Paul Simon.

And then my mom
did come to pick me up,

and then she took me home,
and, man,

the two of them just got
right back to the fighting.

I mean, like,
just all night fighting,

and I did not
wanna hear it anymore,

so I snuck downstairs
and got into their collection,

and I... I found that same CD.

And then I, you know, went
back up to my little bedroom

and put on my headphones.

I didn't hear them fighting
the rest of the night.

- Yeah.
- Your mom did that for me.

She was, um...
She was a really nice lady.

Thank you.

Sorry, man. Yeah.

It's good to see you.

(ENGINE STARTS)

(MESSAGE BLEEP)

♪ Catch me
I'm fallin'... ♪

- Yeah!
- Whoo!

♪ Catch me now
I'm fallin' ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
I'm fallin' ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, I'm fallin' ♪

- (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
- Thank you, Cleveland!

- MAN: Roses, roses.
- I will be right back.

Oh.

- Hi.
- You're welcome.

You were right. I regret
coming to meet you here.

- So I'm gonna...
- Oh, no, no, no. It's too late.

Now you have to come
and meet my friends.

You can't leave. Come here.

- Guys, this is Renn.
- MAN: Oh, Renn.

- Hi. Hey.
- Hi. Sam.

- Hi. Parker. Nice to meet you.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

You were so good.
That performance was so good.

So good. Will totally be
the top karaoke performance
of the night.

Okay, so my goal for tonight
is to get you up on that stage.

No, no, no.
No, I need, like, 900 shots
if that's gonna happen.

- And it's not
gonna happen, so...
- I'll be right back.

- Yes.
- Oh, my God.

(LAUGHS)

Wait, so, how do you know Zoey?

Uh, we met fighting alien robots
on a plane.

Okay, so you're
one of her patients?

Yeah. Yeah.
How do you guys know her?

- Go way back or...
- BOTH: No.

We met her this morning
at our conference.

- Yeah, but we already love her.
- Yeah. How could you not?

- Yeah.
- Were you guys
just talking about me?

- Yes, but only good things.
- Okay, well, go on.

- PARKER: Oh, boy.
- All right,
so cheers to participating.

And to your lovely town
of Cleveland.

- To Cleveland
and participating.
- RENN: To Cleveland.

PARKER: To Cleveland!

Mmm. What is that, alcohol?

- SAM: Mmm.
- Yep.

♪ On my way
to the seventh house ♪

♪ I ended up ♪

♪ Caught right
in the river's mouth ♪

♪ Spinning in circles ♪

♪ Fake water
feels black and cool ♪

♪ But it wears me out... ♪

- Who did this?
- SAM: Thank you.

- PARKER: That is so rude.
- SAM: Thank you so...
Thank you.

- Hey.
- PARKER: Hey.

- Danger zone, danger zone.
- ZOEY: Cheers, cheers, cheers.

- I'm gonna step out.
- You got it.

PARKER:
Why does it taste different?

Honestly, number five,
I'm just...

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Uh, uh, Cleveland!

(ZOEY EXHALES)

(RENN SNIFFS)

- Hi.
- How's my favorite
emo boy doing?

He's about two seconds away
from getting

a Dashboard Confessional
tattoo on his calf.

- Ooh!
- Yeah.

(ZOEY LAUGHS)

So I take it family time
was a bit much.

Yeah, you could say that.

What'd y'all do today?

Uh, what'd we do today?

Went to a funeral home,
a hospital.

Met a priest.
Um, insulted a priest.

I had a fight with my sister,

and she had a breakdown
in the closet.

Then I got a tie. Now this.

I feel like
you're gonna have way more
than four questions after that.

(ZOEY SIGHS)

No, just one.

Why are you actually home?

Yeah, that's the right one.

Um...

My mom died.

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

Renn, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, thank you.

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know. Um... I...

I guess I thought
if I didn't say it out loud,

then it wasn't real.

I get that.

But it is. Um...

She's gone,
and her funeral is tomorrow.

God, that feels crazy
to say out loud.

I'm going
to my mom's funeral tomorrow.

I'm sorry.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Are you? I mean, I wouldn't be.

Yeah. No, I'm not.

And I... I don't know
why I keep saying that.

It's like this whole thing just
doesn't feel real, you know?

And... And I... I don't know
how to deal with it.

So I just... I keep ignoring it
and avoiding it, and...

I'm worried that I'm gonna be
stuck like this forever.

Yeah. I know it feels like that.

But eventually...

it may be very, very slowly,
but eventually...

you'll get better at dealing
with it and living with it.

I don't know how to explain it,

but it feels like
there's two halves of my life.

The good half, you know,

before all this started,
before she got sick.

And then there's the shitty
half, present company excluded,

is the half I don't wanna
get better at dealing with.

I just wanna go back
before watching her wear gloves

because her hands
were too chapped,

or helping her pick out a wig.

Or which hospital to go to,

which would eventually
not save her.

You know,
I just wanna be back

on a bar patio like this
with her,

just talking and laughing.

I want the good half again.

And it's weird, it's like, I...

I have these glimpses
of the good half...

you know, but they just feel
so far away now, and...

It's like I can see them. Right?

But I can't...
I can't touch them.

I'm just watching them.

I'm not...

I'm not participating.
And it's so sad, you know.

I just keep looking at my phone
all the time...

thinking I'll see a text
or a call from her that's like,

"Hey, buddy, you know, I'm...
I'm... I'm kidding. I'm fine."

But... you know,
I know that's not, um...

that's not gonna happen.

And, uh...

instead, I get these calls
from my boss

for a job that I don't want.

And my sister just calls me

and reminds me
of all the things we have to do

because... our mom's gone.

And so I... I just keep ignoring
and avoiding and, uh...

fucking everything up.

I... I'm sorry.
I've said too much.

No. I... I don't think that
you're fucking everything up.

Yeah, well, I don't think
I'm doing a good job.

Yeah, I don't think
you're supposed to be.

Thanks.

Hey, um... Can I come tomorrow?

- Come to my mom's funeral?
- It sounds weird.

- It's kind of weird.
- But I... I...

I don't know.
I just wanna be there for you.

I'd like that, yeah.

- Cool.
- Cool.

(LAUGHS)

I think I'm ready.

Ready for what?

I'm... I'm interested
in what any of this means.

- Let's go.
- Okay. (LAUGHS) What?

(♪ "I MELT WITH YOU")

♪ Moving forward
Using all my breath ♪

♪ Making love to you
was never second best ♪

♪ I saw your world thrashing
all around your face ♪

♪ I saw it ♪

♪ Never really knowing
mesh and lace... ♪

Come on!
♪ I'll stop the world
and melt with you ♪

♪ You've seen the difference ♪

♪ And it's getting better
all the time ♪

♪ There's nothing
you and I won't do ♪

♪ I'll stop the world
and melt with you ♪

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

(♪ FRANK LOCRASTO:
"HAWAIIAN CHURCH")

DAN: We are gathered here today
to pay our final respects

to Lily Katherine.

Teacher, friend, sister, wife,

and mother.

Lily Katherine
was full of light and laughter.

She had a laugh
that could fill a room.

Her loving husband,
the love of her life, Rick,

said that she loved people
most of all.

In fact, he says
that she would have loved

to see you all here today,

to talk to you all,
to hold your hands

and hear all about your lives.

She loved catching up
with friends,

talking about her favorite
movies, one of which...

(WHISPERS) Sorry.

(WHISPERS) What?

I can only think of one memory
of her right now, um...

and I wish
it was something cool, like...

jumping out of an airplane or...

or mountain climbing,
um, but it's not.

It's, uh... It's her, it's me.

We're driving home
from the mall.

And I'm nine years old,
and I'm pissed.

Because she forgot me
at a clothing store.

She told me to sit and wait
on a bench at an Ann Taylor

with my Superman comic and wait

while she tried on a few
thousand articles of clothing.

Leigh knows, that was a favorite
hobby of hers.

She would buy
some new clothes, uh,

keep the tags on 'em,
and bring them back.

Anyway...

She, uh... She did that a lot.

And, um, this time
in particular, it was a sweater.

And she bought it
and walked out.

And I sat there
on that bench and... And...

waited for her
to come back, um...

A couple of hours later,
she did, and she...

she came rushing in,

apologizing up and down,
but I was still pissed.

This old lady kept asking me,
"Are you lost?"

And the thing is, I... I wasn't.
I... I was... I was exactly
where I was supposed to be.

Uh, she just... she left me.

When I think back on it now,

you know, all I feel is...
is jealousy.

'Cause I wish
I could relive that day.

I wish I could relive
sitting on that bench

in that store
with that Superman comic.

I'm jealous of that
nine-year-old boy, you know.

'Cause if I could
just relive that...

relive that day,
then that would mean...

she comes back.

(WHISPERS) Sorry.

(KISSES)

(♪ FRANK LOCRASTO:
"HAWAIIAN CHURCH")

(MUSIC ENDS)

- Hi.
- That was
a beautiful story, Renn.

Oh, I don't know.

Your mother
would have been proud of you.

Thank you.

Let me know
if you need anything at all.

RENN: Yeah, will do.

- ZOEY: Hi.
- Hi.

Thank you for coming.

Yeah, thank you
for letting me be here for you.

(RICK LAUGHS)

- Uh, I see you met my sister.
- Yeah, Leigh.

- She's really nice.
- RICK: I was like, "Jazz!"

- Yeah.
- RICK:
"That's what jazz is for!"

(LAUGHS)

- I'm sorry, just one...
one sec.
- Yeah, of course.

Oh. Nice speech
back there, Renn.

Yeah, nice joke right now, Rick.

Well, people grieve
in their own ways, Renn.

Mmm, yeah. You know,
and some people don't grieve
at all, apparently.

- You think I'm not grieving?
- Well, I have eyes and ears,
so, yeah.

- (WHISPERS) Guys, not now.
- It's fine. We're just talking.

Okay, because
you're over there all sad,

that must mean she meant more to
you than she did to me, right?

- Yeah. Yeah, that.
- Oh.

And... And just generally

you not being around
for the last two years.

- Or the ten years before that.
- LEIGH: Renn.

Or when she started chemo,

or when she was sleeping
on the bathroom floor

'cause she didn't have enough
energy to move to the bed.

When she started hallucinating
from the pain meds she was on.

- You remember that, Leigh?
- Jesus, Renn.

That was fun, 'cause, you know,
she was seeing people

from her past
that weren't actually there,

and then she would start
fucking crying

because she was seeing people
from her past

who weren't actually there.

You weren't there
for any of that,

so, yeah, I feel bad for you,

and I wish you luck
with having to live with that.

Yeah? And you're an expert, huh?

You're an expert on what to do
when a loved one gets sick?

'Cause what did you do?
Come right home?

- Did you stay by her side?
- Yeah, I came home.

- LEIGH: Okay.
- You came home
a couple of times.

I saw my mother plenty.

And I talked to her
every fucking night.

And by the way,
this isn't about me.

This is about you.

Oh, no. This is about you.

Because in case you realize it
or not, when she got sick,

and I mean really sick, you
weren't there for her either.

Your sister was,
but you weren't.

Yeah, and you were?

- Oh, yeah.
- You were?

Compared to you,
I was her second layer of skin.

- Guys, maybe
don't do this right now.
- It's fine.

Hey, he judged me
for the way I'm grieving.

I don't judge you for
running away and staying away,

doing your writing.

- She told me not to come.
- Oh. And you listened.

A sick woman told you
not to come home,

and you listened because
that's what you wanted to hear.

- I was gonna come home.
- But you didn't.

Listen, you really think
that she didn't want you
to come home?

You really think that she didn't
want you there by her side?

You were her favorite, Renn.
Sorry. It's true.

She didn't want me there,
so I wasn't.

She wanted you there,
and you weren't.

And because you weren't,
you never got to say goodbye.

Maybe that's what this is about.

- Sorry about that.
- DARREN: Rick.

RICK: Good luck
living with that.

DARREN: Go on, get out.

(DOOR CLOSES)

I'm sor... Sorry. I...

(SIGHS)

- Sorry.
- I'm sorry.

- LEIGH: Thank you so much
for coming.
- WOMAN: Yeah.

- Drive safe.
- (DOOR CLOSES)

- (SIGHS)
- (GLASSES CLINK)

(FOOTSTEPS)

Thank you.

(LEIGH SIGHS, GROANS)

- (SIGHS)
- Mmm.

How do you do it?

What?

Just keep it all together
all the time and...

- You're so strong, you know.
- (CHUCKLES)

Renn, I'm... I'm a fucking mess.
Really.

- I didn't realize.
- Yeah.

Thought the closet breakdown
was a one-time thing.

I'm sorry for leaving you alone
with all this.

(RENN SIGHS)

You mentioned that... that day
that Mom left you in the mall.

I remember that day
a little bit differently.

- You weren't there.
- Yeah, exactly. I wanted to be.

And I know
that she left you in that store,

and that was really scary
for you, and I get that.

But I was never invited.

- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

Rick is an asshole, and he's
wrong about a lot of things,

and we can get into that
in a second, but...

the one thing
that he is right about

is that you were her favorite.

We have their personalities,
and you know it.

And from time to time,
he tried to act more like you.

And then from time to time,
she tried to act more like me.

But, I mean,
that was the way it was.

Which is why she took you
on adventures and not me.

It's not because she didn't
love me. I know she loved me.

But because she was avoiding him
by avoiding me.

I don't have the memories that
you had with her growing up.

But I have them...
I have them now.

From a month ago.

Sitting in that hospital room
with her,

watching The View,
playing cards.

And, yeah, maybe
they're not warm and fuzzy,

but they're...
they're with her, and...

they're all mine.

So you got the good half with
her, and I got the bad, but...

I wouldn't trade my half
for the whole world.

Yeah.

And you didn't come home,
and I get...

I get why you feel guilty
about that.

But Rick is wrong
about that part,

because that's exactly
what she wanted.

She was avoiding herself
by avoiding you.

Because if you would have
come home, then...

then it would have been real.

(SNIFFS)

So you can sit and you can sulk
and you can cry,

and you can listen to the Smiths
or whatever you do.

But I wouldn't, because
she wouldn't want you to.

- To Mom.
- To Mom.

You were very, very scary.
You really got up in his face.

- He's got crazy eyes.
- (LAUGHS)

(PHONE BUZZES)

- (GROANS)
- What?

- What now?
- Fucking Rick.

- So Rick locked us
out of the house?
- Correct.

- He said
he'd drop our stuff off?
- Correct.

- And this is
what he dropped off?
- Correct.

- Motherfucker.
- These two boxes
and a garbage bag?

- Yep.
- Motherfucker.

So Rick gets to decide
what childhood memories

we walk away with in two boxes.

And a garbage bag.

- And what about Mom's stuff?
- Still in the house.

- Which we're locked out of.
- Ding-ding-ding.

Yeah, it's a real dick move.
D-I-C-K.

I wanna send him
to the bottom of the ocean.

- I wanna scream.
- I wanna put a hit out on him.

We could sue him.
We don't have a case.

- I wouldn't last
two minutes in prison.
- You wouldn't.

Motherfuck, Rick.

Okay, there is one thing
we could do.

And I can think of one person
who'd be very proud of us
for doing it.

Mm-mm.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Yes.

- No.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.

LEIGH: No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

LEIGH: It doesn't look like
anybody's home.

DARREN: What if they have
a security guard?

LEIGH: Dad, they're not
gonna have a security guard.

- (CAR APPROACHES)
- Shit.

Okay, for the record,
I just wanna say that this is
an all-time bad plan.

I'm not... I'm not against it,
I'm also not for it,
and I just want it noted.

Noted. Okay, let's just
walk through the steps.

Okay. "How to break
into a house."

LEIGH: Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry.

Before we go any further,

the parent in this situation,

the supposed voice of reason,

is... is on board
with this plan?

Yeah. Do I wish I didn't wear
my loafers to a B&E? Yeah.

But, most importantly,
it's that you two get closure
and personal growth.

That's what matters.
And getting revenge on Rick
'cause he's a piece of shit.

- And that includes a B&E?
- (CHUCKLES)

We said a light
breaking-and-entering.
We agreed on a light B&E, right?

- Okay, let's stop
saying B&E, please.
- Okay. But we agreed.

But, yes, it'll be a light one.

Can we go through
the steps, please?

Fine. I am not on board.
I just... What is step one?

- I'm curious about the steps.
- Sure. Step one.

- "Is anyone home?"
- Oh, my God.

- Yeah, I feel like
that's implied.
- It's pretty obvious.

But it's still fundamental.

Let's just say
probably nobody's home.

- Probably?
- Okay, well, probably no,
then we go to step two,

which is, "Do we know
if the house has any alarms?"

I don't think that he installed
an entire security system today,

and we didn't have
anything like that before,

so I'm gonna say
also probably no.

No, or probably no again,
in this case.

- We jump to step four.
- (MUSIC PLAYS ON PHONE)

- Shit.
- RENN: What?

I... I... I tapped an ad.
There's an ad playing.

- Oh, goddamn it, Dad. Come on.
- What do you want me
to do, Renn?

Who's advertising on a site
for breaking and entering?

It's like a video game.
It's actually cool.

It's like an underwater
sea world with mermaids
and seahorses.

- You can't just
click out of it?
- No.

- The X.
- No, no, it doesn't
let me do...

RENN: Turn it down.
Jesus Christ.

- I am hitting the X.
- We're going to jail.

Look, it's okay.
It's over. It's over.

It just stopped. Okay?
I'm gonna go back to step four.

- "Look for an open window."
- An open window.

- An open window? Let's go.
- Oh, no, no, no.

- RENN: See if there is one.
- BOTH: Don't slam the door.

- We should have rehearsed this.
- Rehearsed it?

I don't know. This is like...
It's so reckless.

LEIGH: Okay.

- DARREN: The other side.
- LEIGH: Oh, wow.

That doesn't look suspicious.

(DOGS BARKING)

- Where is he?
It's been like an hour.
- No, it's not.

- Here he comes. Here he comes.
- Oh, oh.

Oh, boy. This is not...

Okay, too bad. Nothing's open.
Let's go. Right?

- Kitchen window's open.
- Wait, the one above the sink?

- Yeah. What's step five?
- Step five.
"Go in that window."

And then what?

- Steal stuff?
- No more steps?

It's an article
on breaking and entering.

I mean, you probably need
another one once you get inside.

- Oh, my God.
- We should google it.

- No.
- Okay, so, basically,

once you break in, steal stuff.

No, no. You can't go in
and steal stuff.

If you steal stuff,
then he's gonna notice

and he's gonna call the cops
and then we're all gonna
get arrested.

- Oh, my God.
- You can go in
and you can steal items.

But you can't steal stuff, okay?

If I'm gonna do this,
if we're all gonna do this,

then we need to make that
very, very clear.

- Okay, we're clear.
- Yeah.

No, stuff, just a few things.

No, no, no, not things. Items.

You're getting hung up
on the word, not the action?

- This feels like stalling now?
- No.

- This feels like stalling.
- Yeah, we are. I'm stalling.

I am the official staller.
Parent time. Voice of reason.

Look, this feels wrong.
We all know it's wrong. Okay?

I should probably say something
to stop you from doing this.

And I'm...
drawing a blank, so...

So we're doing this?

- All right.
- Okay.

Steal items on three.

- Steal items on three.
- One, two, three.

- BOTH: Steal items.
- Items. Items. I...

Items.

- What are you doing?
Leigh. Leigh.
- I'm going.

No, no, no, no.

Oh.

Mmm...

It's good for them.
It's good for them.

LEIGH: Oh, my God.

- Okay, I'm here.
- Hey.

- What?
- Are you gonna try to stop me?

- Nope.
- Okay.

LEIGH: God!

(LEIGH WHISPERS) Careful. Be
quiet. Just don't get arrested.

Okay.

To Mom.

- To Mom.
- To Lily.

(♪ DON JULIAN & THE MEADOWLARKS:
"HEAVEN AND PARADISE")

RENN: Anything out there?

- Nothing exciting.
- Well, that's a bummer.

Tell me about it.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Glass of champagne, please.

- Fancy.
- I like to set a mood.

Hey, so remember
when you told me

something personal and...
and difficult

about why you came to Cleveland,

and then I in turn lied

and said I was here
for a reunion?

- I do.
- Well, I don't think
I ever apologized for that.

So I just wanna say I'm...
I'm really sorry.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

And I'm really sorry
for the very loud

screaming match
with my stepdad earlier.

That was crazy.

It's okay.
It's one of the stages of grief.

- What, screaming
at your stepparents?
- Anger.

- Oh, no, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

Considering going pro at denial.

Putting up some big numbers.

(LAUGHS)

So... are you okay?

- No.
- No?

No.

But I will be.

I feel like we are two people

who should not be dating
right now.

Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

Good kiss. But I'm...
I'm a complete mess.

So probably...
You're probably right.

One hundred percent. Me too.

I mean, if I were
my own therapist, I'd say,

"Girl, get up, get out of there,

and text him in, like, a year."

Yes, and I would...
I would wait three days
to respond to try and look cool.

Okay. As if you could wait
three days to text me back.

No. I wouldn't last a day.
I would respond right away.

I hope so.

Perfectly timed champagne.
Thank you so much.

(CLEARS THROAT)

- To your mom.
- To Lily.

Oh, shit.

We're each other's alibi.
Remember that.

All right, well,
I guess no reason to delay.

I'm here to apologize.

I shouldn't have locked
you guys out.

I wanted to bring you
a peace offering.

All right, here you go.

If there's anything else
you need, just let me know.

- Give me a call or...
- DARREN: Just go, Rick.

You're breaking rule number two.

What rule?
Am I... Am I missing something?

- Don't worry about it.
- Okay. Bye.

- Bye, Rick.
- Bye.

That's definitely not
all of her stuff.

No.

- We'll take what we can get.
- Yeah. Good for Rick.

"Not until we are lost do we
begin to understand ourselves.

Henry David Thoreau.
The woods guy."

(PHONE RINGS)

KEVIN: Renn, hey.

RENN:
I'm sticking with my decision,
Kevin. I'm gonna keep writing.

KEVIN: What are you
gonna do for work?

RENN: I don't know,
but I'll figure it out.

KEVIN: Well, good luck.

We'll miss you.
- RENN: Thanks.

- Right.
- Right. Bye.

Text me when you get in. Okay?
And answer your fucking phone.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Let's take the long way.
- Okay. Okay.

- Love you.
- Thank you.

LILY: What have you got
in your sleeve?

- Did they give that to you?
- No.

No?

- You stole it?
- Yeah.

Can I see it?

You know, it's not such
a great idea to steal things.

- Okay.
- So let's not do that again.

But just this once, it's yours.

- Okay.
- Just this once.

- Ready to go?
- Yeah.

Okay.

(ENGINE STARTS)

All right. Let's boogie.
- ♪ I have to say
the things I feel ♪

♪ Oh, I have to feel
the things I say ♪

♪ You must live till you die ♪

♪ You must fight to survive ♪

♪ You must live till you die ♪

♪ You must feel to be alive ♪

♪ You must live till you die ♪

♪ See the sun
rising in the east ♪

♪ Welcome warm days ♪

♪ I feel my heart flying ♪

♪ Every time
we're alone, babe ♪

♪ Everything around me
has been changing so ♪

♪ I can't let go ♪

♪ Oh, no, no ♪

♪ You must live till you die ♪

♪ You must fight to survive ♪

♪ You must live till you die ♪

♪ You must feel to be alive ♪

♪ You must live till you die ♪

♪ Feel the earth trembling ♪

♪ Have you heard
distant thunder? ♪

♪ Everything's moving ♪

♪ What's this feeling
I'm under? ♪

♪ Everything around me
has been changing so ♪

♪ I can't let go ♪

♪ Oh, no, no ♪

♪ You must live till you die ♪

♪ You must fight to survive ♪

♪ You must live till you die ♪

♪ You must feel to be alive ♪

♪ You must live till you die ♪

(♪ ROONEY: "SAY GOODBYE")

♪ An image from the world ♪

♪ A picture from the past ♪

♪ I could have captured
every moment ♪

♪ It seems it could have last ♪

♪ I can't bring myself
to look at you ♪

♪ I look away
I look away from the person ♪

♪ I wish I never knew, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ There's nothing for me here ♪

♪ There's no one for me now ♪

♪ I'm just wandering around ♪

♪ Like a ghost
in my home town ♪

♪ Shattered into pieces ♪

♪ Making peace
with all the reasons ♪

♪ Couldn't be there for you ♪

♪ Even when you needed me
to see it ♪

♪ To see you ♪

♪ So I'll try to say goodbye ♪

♪ And I've one chance,
just one chance ♪

♪ To say it the way I want ♪

♪ Don't let it go ♪

♪ So I'll try to say goodbye ♪

♪ And I just get
just one chance ♪

♪ To say it the way I need to ♪

♪ When I look at you ♪

♪ It's just enough ♪

♪ Where'd you go? ♪

♪ I keep on trying
to say goodbye ♪