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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,867 ( Gospel choir singing ) 4 00:00:43,933 --> 00:00:46,600 Oh, reverend... 5 00:00:46,633 --> 00:00:49,567 Wonderful. 6 00:01:14,267 --> 00:01:15,967 Don't do that, don't do that... 7 00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:23,067 Mama! 8 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:24,167 ( All scream ) 9 00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:28,167 How come you didn't say something? 10 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,767 I did say something--! 11 00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:31,933 Shut up! 12 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,633 I'm runnin' this motherfuckin' show here tonight... 13 00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:35,167 Do you understand me? 14 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,133 - Say it! - Yes, I hear you. 15 00:01:37,167 --> 00:01:40,667 I hope you're ready, 'cause I'm gonna ride you like a cowgirl into the sunset. 16 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,733 Come here, and play with my twins! 17 00:01:44,367 --> 00:01:46,467 ( Bickering ) 18 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,200 ( Whimper ) 19 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,533 Ooh, it's music to my ears. 20 00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:52,100 You know what? 21 00:01:52,133 --> 00:01:53,967 I'm goin' down. 22 00:01:55,333 --> 00:01:56,333 What? 23 00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:59,000 ( Bickering continues ) 24 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,567 Wait a minute. 25 00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:12,167 Who's up now, huh? Who's in charge now? 26 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,433 ( Commotion continues ) 27 00:02:15,033 --> 00:02:16,500 What the hell--? 28 00:02:16,533 --> 00:02:18,200 Say, "O.J. did it!" 29 00:02:18,233 --> 00:02:19,900 He did it, O.J. did it! 30 00:02:24,867 --> 00:02:26,600 Get out of my house! 31 00:02:26,633 --> 00:02:29,200 How you doin'? What's happenin'? 32 00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:30,867 You heard her, get the hell out! 33 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,667 - Yeah, get out - yeah...Damn! 34 00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:36,333 Nobody has sex in my house, except me. 35 00:02:37,667 --> 00:02:38,900 Now, you get the hell out! 36 00:02:43,567 --> 00:02:45,833 Sorry, mama. 37 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,900 Brought you a wire hanger, mama. 38 00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,733 Oh--come on, mama... I'm--mama...! 39 00:02:52,767 --> 00:02:54,400 Oh, mama, please, mama! 40 00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:56,667 ( Whacking sounds ) Oh, mom, it hurts! 41 00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:58,300 Damn! 42 00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:04,567 Don't you run from me! 43 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,067 - Derrick, open this door. - No, mama. 44 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:08,067 Open this door! 45 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,300 "Here's the clothes hanger, mama." 46 00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:12,100 "Get him, mama." 47 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,467 You open this door! 48 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,933 Derrick, open that door. 49 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:22,500 You hear me, boy? I said, open that door! 50 00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:23,933 Mama, please calm down. 51 00:03:23,967 --> 00:03:25,867 ( Gritting teeth: ) I'm calm. 52 00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:27,167 Gimme the hanger. 53 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,067 How was church? 54 00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,167 Derrick, what is wrong with you? 55 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,033 How come you can't do nothin'-- 56 00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:40,500 how come you can't do nothin' right? Huh? 57 00:03:40,533 --> 00:03:43,833 You dropped out of high school, you won't get your G.E.D... 58 00:03:43,867 --> 00:03:45,300 You've been drinkin' too much. 59 00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:47,067 You are in trouble with the law... 60 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:49,633 You won't help me around the house at all... 61 00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:52,067 Uncle Deion says you are always coming to work late... 62 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,533 You don't even put the tissue on the roll right. 63 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,267 How many times I gotta tell you, I like it over the top? 64 00:03:57,300 --> 00:04:00,967 Are you forgetting anything? My God! 65 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,567 I can see why Ann don't wanna be bothered with you. 66 00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:07,533 Oh, you did not go there...! 67 00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:09,433 Yes, I did go there. 68 00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:11,700 I don't see what she saw in you in the first place. 69 00:04:11,733 --> 00:04:13,133 The girl's too good for you. 70 00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:15,633 Derrick: Oh, Ann, love of my life... 71 00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:17,667 Mama: - Oh, boy, please... - Who moved Ann's candle? 72 00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:22,333 I'm sorry mama. I shouldn't have had that girl over here. 73 00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:24,333 I'm just tryin', you know? I really am. 74 00:04:24,833 --> 00:04:29,000 I'm gonna make that serious paper this week, and get up outta here. 75 00:04:29,033 --> 00:04:31,533 I wanna work things out. I wanna buy you a house. 76 00:04:31,567 --> 00:04:34,000 I got a house. Here's what you can do for me... 77 00:04:34,033 --> 00:04:37,433 You can take care of you, get you a house, and then, you can go live in it. 78 00:04:37,467 --> 00:04:40,867 Come on, now. We're family, all right? 79 00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,900 "La familia", girl-- 80 00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:44,533 get... Let my-- 81 00:04:44,567 --> 00:04:46,833 see? You're always hittin' me. That's why I didn't graduate. 82 00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:49,167 - Let my arm go, Derrick. - You're gonna hit me. 83 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,000 - I am not. - All right. 84 00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:53,533 Who are you callin' a "girl"? 85 00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:55,500 Mama, I just need a hug. Could I just have a hug, please? 86 00:04:55,533 --> 00:04:58,767 All right? From my mama, on Sunday, is that okay? 87 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,567 ...damn. Come on. I'm sorry, all right? 88 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,600 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, mama. 89 00:05:05,633 --> 00:05:07,067 You got a nice Booty, mama. 90 00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:10,133 Derrick, just stop it. You are out of control. 91 00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:11,867 I want you out of here. 92 00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:15,167 Get your stuff, and get out of here. Go! 93 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,600 - What are you talkin' about? - Which part of "g-o" don't you understand? 94 00:05:18,633 --> 00:05:21,767 Don't start spellin', mama, you know what that-- 95 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,500 you really gonna kick me out? 96 00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:26,833 Damn, dog... 97 00:05:26,867 --> 00:05:29,067 I've never seen her that mad before. 98 00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:31,733 She's trippin', man. 99 00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:34,000 Yo, Derrick, we're gonna miss you, man. 100 00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,333 Yeah, man. 101 00:05:35,367 --> 00:05:37,600 I'm gonna miss y'all. You know that? 102 00:05:37,633 --> 00:05:38,967 Come here, y'all. Gimme some love. 103 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:42,000 Ha ha! Derrick got kicked out! 104 00:05:42,033 --> 00:05:46,233 "Ha ha"! I put your toothbrush in my ass! 105 00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:47,867 Ass-mouth! 106 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:51,300 That is nasty! Putting some toothbrush up-- 107 00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,133 don't feel sorry for him. 108 00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:56,300 All he had to do was go to the store and get milk while we were in church. 109 00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:59,700 Instead, he brings home some--hoochie mama! 110 00:05:59,733 --> 00:06:02,533 She wasn't no "hoochie mama", mama! 111 00:06:02,567 --> 00:06:05,400 It ain't right for you to assume something about somebody... 112 00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:07,100 That you don't even know. 113 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:09,133 Oh, really? Tell me about her. 114 00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:13,533 I don't know her either. I met her at the club last night. 115 00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:15,467 But I'm sayin', you shouldn't assume. 116 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,567 And I'm gonna bring you milk after work, all right? 117 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:21,933 No, you're not, because you're not capable of not screwing up! 118 00:06:21,967 --> 00:06:24,700 I am not not incapable of not screwin' up! 119 00:06:24,733 --> 00:06:27,000 All right, just to prove my point... 120 00:06:27,033 --> 00:06:30,400 If you get milk before dinner, you can get in this house. 121 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:33,600 If not, forget it, because you're outta here for good! 122 00:06:33,633 --> 00:06:35,200 Okay, that's fine... 123 00:06:35,233 --> 00:06:36,967 I guess I'll see you at dinner, then. 124 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,333 Now, I'm going to work, where people respect me! 125 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:42,800 - You're fired! - What?! 126 00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:44,667 Aw, come on, uncle Deion. 127 00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:48,167 Yeah, stupid ass. You were the last one in the store last night. 128 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,333 And you forgot to lock the back door. 129 00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:53,733 Dude, anybody could have came in. 130 00:06:53,767 --> 00:06:56,833 I locked it, man, I think...? I'm sorry. 131 00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:59,933 Dude, you are sorry. You're fuckin' sorry, dude! 132 00:06:59,967 --> 00:07:02,200 You're fired, you're outta here-- 133 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:04,867 hey, man... You want some of this? 134 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,967 Knock it off! 135 00:07:07,967 --> 00:07:11,067 Knock it off! Jesus! 136 00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,800 You're just mad 'cause you're the only Korean in L.A. 137 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,433 That don't own his own store. 138 00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,967 Lick my ass, Derrick. Lick it--hard! 139 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,667 You ain't got no ass! What ass? You little flat ass. 140 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,633 I hate you. I'm gonna kill you, man. 141 00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:26,900 Look, Dee... 142 00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:29,367 I apologize, all right? 143 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,133 I've been goin' through a rough time with Ann... 144 00:07:32,167 --> 00:07:34,100 I'm seekin' some outside help, tryin' to... 145 00:07:34,133 --> 00:07:35,833 Derrick? 146 00:07:35,867 --> 00:07:40,300 I firing you because you give everybody in the neighborhood credit. 147 00:07:40,333 --> 00:07:43,533 I'm firing you because you mopped last week... 148 00:07:43,567 --> 00:07:46,467 And you didn't put down the "wet floor" sign... 149 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,900 And I slipped, and I busted my ass! 150 00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:56,133 I'm firing you because you eat up all the gummie bears! 151 00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:58,867 And you can never balance the register... 152 00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:01,333 Because you never finished school. 153 00:08:01,367 --> 00:08:04,700 And your math skills suck! 154 00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:11,000 Well, my, my, uncle Deion. What a long list you have! 155 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,300 Is there anything you forgot? 156 00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:15,633 Derrick... 157 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:19,133 Your bullshit may sound like poetry to you... 158 00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:23,100 But to everybody else, it sounds like what it is... 159 00:08:23,133 --> 00:08:24,667 Bull-shit! 160 00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:27,267 Man, I'm tired of your ass. 161 00:08:31,233 --> 00:08:33,933 Here's your pay for last week. 162 00:08:33,967 --> 00:08:36,100 Twenty dollars? That's it? 163 00:08:36,133 --> 00:08:42,033 I subtracted all the 40's you drank--on the clock. 164 00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:44,667 How do you sleep at night? 165 00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:46,500 You gotta start growing up, Derrick. 166 00:08:46,533 --> 00:08:48,433 Be a man! 167 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,133 This shit ain't even fair. 168 00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:53,200 Let me guess, Derrick... 169 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:56,100 It's "because you're white". 170 00:08:56,133 --> 00:08:57,733 Dude, you are so weak. 171 00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,633 "Meow". --What? 172 00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:00,967 "Meow". 173 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,300 - I know that's you, man. - Oh, my, it's lunchtime, Kim. 174 00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:05,967 Get out of here, dude. You're unemployed. You're fired! 175 00:09:09,467 --> 00:09:11,700 ( Beep ) 176 00:09:11,733 --> 00:09:13,700 ( Woman's scream ) 177 00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:16,000 ( Elephant trumpet ) 178 00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,100 ( Diesel air horn ) 179 00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:25,900 ( Backfire ) 180 00:09:29,467 --> 00:09:31,467 ( Backfire ) 181 00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:38,900 Whassup, girl? 182 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,033 Aw, you can't say "hi" to somebody? 183 00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:43,433 ( Shocks wheezing ) 184 00:09:43,467 --> 00:09:45,533 Why don't you hock that little European car... 185 00:09:45,567 --> 00:09:47,400 And take a ride with "the roughneck"? 186 00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:49,267 You look more like a "redneck". 187 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,133 A "redneck"? 188 00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:53,833 Redneck... 189 00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:55,967 Well, girl, let's ride the bronco, then! 190 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,700 ( Shocks whine ) 191 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,900 Look out, now... Whoa...! 192 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,133 Get lost. 193 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:10,233 Hey, girl, what's up? Okay, it's gonna be like that? 194 00:10:10,267 --> 00:10:11,967 All right... 195 00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,100 ( Siren ) 196 00:10:36,667 --> 00:10:39,267 Hi, officer... Can I help you? 197 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:41,067 ( Shocks hissing ) 198 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,800 All right... That's okay. 199 00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:46,467 Sorry about that. Sometimes they have a mind of they own. 200 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,567 You know what I'm sayin? Like, right now... 201 00:10:49,033 --> 00:10:50,767 Turn it off, now! 202 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,767 I'm tryin', see? I'm tryin'. 203 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,467 Turn it off! 204 00:10:57,133 --> 00:10:59,900 It's okay. Put the gun down. 205 00:10:59,933 --> 00:11:02,467 Why don't you step on out of that there car, boy? 206 00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:09,933 Well, looky, looky. 207 00:11:11,233 --> 00:11:13,133 Where'd that come from? 208 00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:16,533 Step over to the curb. We wanna see ya. 209 00:11:16,567 --> 00:11:19,767 Follow me. Come on, boy. 210 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,700 They won't hurt ya. 211 00:11:21,733 --> 00:11:23,300 Hey, yo, man. I need that! What's up? 212 00:11:23,333 --> 00:11:25,167 So do they. Now... 213 00:11:28,633 --> 00:11:30,000 I'm givin' you a citation 214 00:11:30,033 --> 00:11:32,100 for havin' an open container of alcohol in your car... 215 00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:35,000 Possession of an illegal substance, noise pollution... 216 00:11:35,033 --> 00:11:38,167 Expired registration, broken headlight, taillight... 217 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:42,233 No sideview mirrors, making an illegal turn, and driving without a license. 218 00:11:42,267 --> 00:11:43,667 Come on... 219 00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:46,000 You ain't got no license, boy? 220 00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:49,467 Thank you very much, officers. Did you forget anything? 221 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,333 I forgot to drag you into the alley... 222 00:11:52,367 --> 00:11:55,200 And kick the shit outta you, you pompous wise-ass wannabe! 223 00:11:55,233 --> 00:11:58,567 The south's gonna rise again, boy! 224 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,233 That shit better be intact! 225 00:12:01,267 --> 00:12:03,433 Don't mess up my bumper! 226 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,633 Yo, dog... 227 00:12:11,667 --> 00:12:13,500 You need anything? 228 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,633 Do I need anything? As a mater of fact, I do. 229 00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:19,900 You got a job, a house, a car, and a girlfriend for me? 230 00:12:19,933 --> 00:12:21,667 No, but I got this. 231 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:25,633 Crack?! Bad--get that shit away from me. 232 00:12:25,667 --> 00:12:28,000 What's up with you, man? 233 00:12:28,033 --> 00:12:30,467 Tryin' to get a brother locked up or something? 234 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,933 That's some serious shit right there, dog. 235 00:12:38,733 --> 00:12:40,967 You're dealin' for cosmo, huh? 236 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,567 Hey, who's that with him? 237 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,167 I don't know. Why? 238 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,900 I rocked that girl's world this mornin', dog. 239 00:12:50,933 --> 00:12:53,033 I was--wham, bam! 240 00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:54,867 I didn't know it was his girlfriend, though. 241 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,767 Whatever. You wanna buy some or not? 242 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:01,467 I don't know where you're from, but you ain't no tough guy. 243 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:02,933 You look like a little gay "Urkel". 244 00:13:02,967 --> 00:13:06,033 - I ain't no gay Urkel. - Whatever, little gay Urkel. 245 00:13:06,067 --> 00:13:09,700 Take that shit back to cosmo, tell him you quit, and run. 246 00:13:09,733 --> 00:13:11,633 Run, little gay Urkel, run! 247 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,667 Hey... 248 00:13:15,167 --> 00:13:17,833 That's my last $20. Don't say I never did nothin' for ya. 249 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:24,000 Go on, now. Kids... 250 00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:29,700 Cosmo: What's this all about? Why are you giving this back? 251 00:13:29,733 --> 00:13:32,933 That's it, young man. Do the right thing. 252 00:13:35,467 --> 00:13:37,300 You ain't gonna tell him about the girl...? 253 00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:41,633 You told him about the girl. 254 00:13:48,167 --> 00:13:49,900 Hello, there. Top of the mornin' to ya. 255 00:13:49,933 --> 00:13:51,867 - Chris? - What's up? 256 00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:54,433 - I need a ride, man. - No. 257 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:57,600 - Come on, Chris. - Get off my car. 258 00:13:57,633 --> 00:13:59,067 Chris, come on. 259 00:13:59,100 --> 00:14:01,300 Damn, you're slow. I'd have my ass in Georgia by now. 260 00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:03,733 - Come on, white boy, run. - Please?! 261 00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:06,100 All right, all right, but repeat after me... 262 00:14:06,133 --> 00:14:09,333 "I, the evil blue-eyed devil... 263 00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:11,400 Will never, ever mess with black women again." 264 00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,033 "Will never--" wait... 265 00:14:13,067 --> 00:14:14,933 What if it's a dark Puerto Rican girl? 266 00:14:14,967 --> 00:14:16,500 Oh, shit. Cosmo's gainin' on you. 267 00:14:16,533 --> 00:14:18,500 Say it! 268 00:14:18,533 --> 00:14:20,133 I'll never mess with black women again. 269 00:14:20,167 --> 00:14:22,233 Okay, let me pull over. 270 00:14:22,267 --> 00:14:24,133 You didn't know I could run, huh? 271 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:27,267 What was that shit about back there? 272 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,267 Cosmo's trippin', man. I didn't know that was his girlfriend. 273 00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,833 You got a problem with your horny white ass. 274 00:14:31,867 --> 00:14:34,933 Yo, man. I gotta get some milk. 275 00:14:34,967 --> 00:14:37,433 Whatever. Take you to the store? 276 00:14:37,467 --> 00:14:39,267 Yeah, but I ain't got no money. 277 00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:43,667 - Fliz-at...Briz-oke. - Always "brizoke". 278 00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:45,233 Ho' alert. 279 00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:47,767 Hello, ho's! 280 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,767 That's a gay white boy. 281 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,367 Little Irish faggot. That's what we need... 282 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,867 We need a little gay man like that. 283 00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:58,533 Somebody to show us how to suck a dick properly. 284 00:14:58,567 --> 00:15:00,333 ( Slurred ) I heard that. 285 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:04,333 I heard he bent over one day and a leprechaun jumped out of his ass. 286 00:15:04,367 --> 00:15:06,200 Was his name "lucky"? 287 00:15:06,233 --> 00:15:08,300 Ha, ha... I don't know. 288 00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:09,500 ( Bickering ) 289 00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:10,833 Hello, ho'. 290 00:15:10,867 --> 00:15:12,567 ( Bickering resumes ) 291 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,567 What's up, Paula? 292 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:19,167 Well, well. If it ain't "ebony and ivory". 293 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,133 If it's not Phyllis and her sister... 294 00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:22,333 ( Together ) Syphilis. 295 00:15:22,367 --> 00:15:24,367 What do you two scrawny motherfuckers want? 296 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,200 - I need the $2 you owe me. - Two dollars? 297 00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:29,700 That's going to be a problem. I see that right now... 298 00:15:29,733 --> 00:15:33,233 Because you can't take $2 from a two-dollar ho'. 299 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,400 It would make her a worthless ho'. That's fucked up. 300 00:15:35,433 --> 00:15:37,033 Hey, fuck you! 301 00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:40,633 Come on, I need some milk money. 302 00:15:40,667 --> 00:15:41,900 I need $2, girl. 303 00:15:41,933 --> 00:15:44,000 - He's gotta get some milk. - Milk? 304 00:15:44,033 --> 00:15:46,633 You ain't been weaned yet? 305 00:15:46,667 --> 00:15:48,967 Wanna come over here and suck these two titties? 306 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,733 That's okay. I'll take a stick of gum and some nail clippers, though. 307 00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:54,233 Git on, nigga. 308 00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:57,000 Y'all can't afford this good pussy. 309 00:15:57,033 --> 00:15:59,600 This some potpourri pussy right here. 310 00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:02,233 Smell it, it's so good. 311 00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:03,967 ( Together ) I can smell it... 312 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,667 - Git on, "little dick". - That's a myth... 313 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:10,467 That's a damn myth. I went to black schools... 314 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,900 - I can pee with the best of ya. - Come on, dog. 315 00:16:12,933 --> 00:16:15,267 - I got you beat. - Quit it, now... 316 00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:18,567 You gonna argue with us? Look at us. 317 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,733 Have you seen more dick than us? 318 00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:21,667 What? 319 00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:23,000 Little punk-asses. 320 00:16:23,033 --> 00:16:24,967 "Punk-asses"? 321 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,767 You big gonorrhea, herpes simplex... 322 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,200 One-through-motherfuckin'-ten genital wart... 323 00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:31,967 - Lyme disease... - Crab-havin'... 324 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,033 - Gingivitis... - Canker sore... 325 00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:36,233 - Gout... - Yeast infection... 326 00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:37,933 - Frostbite... - Cold sore... 327 00:16:37,967 --> 00:16:40,333 Scabby-kneed, dick burned... 328 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,100 ...ingrown... 329 00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:43,100 ( Blast ) 330 00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:45,733 Ha, ha ha... 331 00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:48,467 "Ha, ha", my ass. Is there a problem? 332 00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:49,600 ( Together ) Uh...No, sir... 333 00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:51,967 Then why are you fuckin' with my ho's? 334 00:16:53,367 --> 00:16:56,100 You know what else they were doing? They were threatening us. 335 00:16:56,133 --> 00:16:57,400 ( Whispering: ) Shuddup. 336 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,167 I think you owe my ho's an apology. 337 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,933 ( Together: ) Sorry, ho's. 338 00:17:00,967 --> 00:17:03,767 Not a verbal, a physical one. You need to kiss my ho's. 339 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,333 Hell, no. 340 00:17:05,367 --> 00:17:06,400 ( Click ) 341 00:17:06,433 --> 00:17:07,767 Hell, yeah! 342 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,100 Partner, start the kissing. 343 00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:11,400 ( Belch ) 344 00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:15,033 What's wrong with you? Come on, man. 345 00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,667 Whoa, whoa... 346 00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,167 Black on black, white on white. 347 00:17:19,233 --> 00:17:21,033 Ain't no interracial ho'-ing going on around here. 348 00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:22,967 Come on, partner, kiss her. 349 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,900 Pimp: There you go. Handle it. 350 00:17:25,367 --> 00:17:27,167 ( Gagging ) 351 00:17:29,467 --> 00:17:31,733 Fuck that! Shoot me, man! 352 00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:33,733 I don't blame you. You're a smart man... 353 00:17:33,767 --> 00:17:36,100 Oh, damn, he's kissin' that ho'! 354 00:17:49,167 --> 00:17:51,433 Call me, motherfucker. 355 00:17:51,467 --> 00:17:53,300 Call me. 356 00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:10,200 Ha, ha, slow motherfuckers. 357 00:18:30,633 --> 00:18:32,467 I need a blunt. 358 00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,767 Come on, now... You need to quit smokin'. 359 00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:39,900 'Tanda! What's up, girl? 360 00:18:39,933 --> 00:18:41,300 'Tanda, what's-- 361 00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:45,767 what'd I say about black girls? Ain't that why we're in trouble? 362 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,000 - She was mixed. - "Mixed", your ass. 363 00:18:48,033 --> 00:18:49,933 I'll "mix" your-- 364 00:18:51,467 --> 00:18:53,300 where are the motherfuckers? 365 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,900 There those motherfuckers go! 366 00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,333 Get out of the way, goddamnit. 367 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,367 It's piss--! 368 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,900 What's the matter, cosmo? You scared? 369 00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,133 Y'all some sick motherfuckers. 370 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,567 - Get them fools! - You're scared, cosmo! 371 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,633 - Y'all motherfuckers is dead! - Am I? 372 00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:28,100 Cosmo: Let's get the fuck outta here. Y'all are dead! 373 00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:31,233 Whew... It's warm in here. 374 00:19:31,267 --> 00:19:33,733 When 200 people piss in the pool, it's bound to be warm. 375 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,867 Two hundred, and... One. 376 00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:40,233 That's it... 377 00:19:40,267 --> 00:19:41,867 I don't know why I mess with your ass. 378 00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:44,800 - It was a nice swim. - Shut the hell up. 379 00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:47,667 Aw, damn... 380 00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:50,367 Yo, man, I could have sworn they would fuck up my ride. 381 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,167 I'm glad-- 382 00:19:53,733 --> 00:19:55,067 hold up... 383 00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:58,767 He could have put a bomb in it or some shit. 384 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,800 - Shut the hell up. - No, I'm serious. 385 00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:04,433 I saw that on a video. People were dying... 386 00:20:04,467 --> 00:20:07,800 And they rigged this guy's car in 20 seconds. 387 00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:10,167 They had no time to put no bomb in here. 388 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,133 Twenty seconds, Chris. Did he have twenty seconds? 389 00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:15,100 All they found was a piece of a cornea... 390 00:20:15,133 --> 00:20:17,167 And a little mucus... 391 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,167 And something that looked like some chicken... 392 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,700 Like a little cartilage or something. 393 00:20:20,733 --> 00:20:22,167 They put a bomb in it, and it blew up... 394 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,767 Boom!! 395 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:24,900 I got your ass. 396 00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:27,300 You're daydreaming about that girl, Ann. 397 00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:29,767 I was not. 398 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,700 She's trippin', though, man. She won't call me back. 399 00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:36,133 She ain't called in a year. You're stalkin' her. 400 00:20:36,167 --> 00:20:37,767 Plain and simple. Let it go, man. 401 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,967 You know what? We should be allowed to stalk them. 402 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,933 There should be, like... 403 00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:45,600 Some kinda grace period, you know? 404 00:20:45,633 --> 00:20:47,167 'Cause they're whackin' us out. 405 00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,300 Whoa--! 406 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,033 Derrick: Catch up with his Asian ass. 407 00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:07,100 I so sorry. 408 00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:09,500 It's all intense. That's why people make fun of Asian drivers. 409 00:21:09,533 --> 00:21:10,867 ( Together: ) I can't see you! 410 00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:12,900 He knows. He just won't admit it. 411 00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:15,967 ( Smash ) 412 00:21:17,267 --> 00:21:21,467 Owww, my neck hurt! My neck hurt 413 00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:23,700 - y'all all right? - What the fuck you think? 414 00:21:23,733 --> 00:21:25,767 No, muh-fuh, my neck hurt! 415 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,400 My neck hurt too, dad. 416 00:21:27,433 --> 00:21:29,200 Man: I was hit by... 417 00:21:29,233 --> 00:21:31,867 Black guy, nappy hair... 418 00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:35,467 - What do you mean, "nappy"? - Passenger, white guy, I think. 419 00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:37,800 Oh, my neck hurt! 420 00:21:37,833 --> 00:21:40,000 Oh, my neck hurts, too. 421 00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:42,667 He was driving the other car. You caused this shit! 422 00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:45,567 I can't hear you. I can't see you. 423 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,167 You blame me-- can't drive. 424 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,500 Very good at drive-by shooting, huh? 425 00:21:49,533 --> 00:21:53,167 Hit the switches, screw white woman, huh? 426 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,167 But you can't eat chicken. Look at this! Shit, man! 427 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,133 Do you wanna go first, and kick his ass? 428 00:22:00,367 --> 00:22:02,933 Asshole booties! Give back, give back! 429 00:22:05,067 --> 00:22:07,400 ( Laughing ) 430 00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:19,333 Yo, dog... Wanna buy a camera? 431 00:22:19,367 --> 00:22:20,833 How much you charging? 432 00:22:20,867 --> 00:22:23,267 Twenty dollars. Works and everything. 433 00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:26,600 Twenty dollars? Dumbass. You could have gotten $120. 434 00:22:26,633 --> 00:22:28,733 Yo, my man. Hold up. 435 00:22:28,767 --> 00:22:30,833 Let me holler at you for a second. 436 00:22:30,867 --> 00:22:33,567 All right, thanks, my brother. 437 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:34,867 Asalaam alaikum. 438 00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:36,967 You get some more money? 439 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,733 Have you learned nothing from "menace to society"? 440 00:22:39,767 --> 00:22:42,067 Take the tape. 441 00:22:43,767 --> 00:22:44,633 Word. 442 00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:46,133 Take the tape. 443 00:22:46,167 --> 00:22:48,600 You're smart, Chris. 444 00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:50,600 You always were smart, dog. 445 00:22:50,633 --> 00:22:51,900 That's why you're my boy. 446 00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:59,633 ( Mock Hispanic accent ) Hey, t-Rex... Whassup, my leetle fren'? 447 00:22:59,667 --> 00:23:01,833 Fuck you, man. You owe me $5, bro. 448 00:23:01,867 --> 00:23:04,633 - Damn, aren't we friendly? - Fuck you, man. 449 00:23:04,667 --> 00:23:07,733 - Fuck you, man! - Fuck you, maricon! 450 00:23:07,767 --> 00:23:09,700 ( Yelling ) 451 00:23:10,833 --> 00:23:12,367 Derrick: Hey--! 452 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,333 Calm the fuck down. Do we have to swear so motherfuckin' much? 453 00:23:17,467 --> 00:23:18,867 ( Together: ) Fuck you! 454 00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:21,400 ( Yelling resumes ) 455 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,867 ( Together: ) Fuck you! 456 00:23:24,900 --> 00:23:27,667 Five dollars? I give your cousins credit all the time, motherfucker. 457 00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:29,233 You need to just chill out on that. 458 00:23:29,267 --> 00:23:31,033 You don't give my cousins shit. 459 00:23:31,067 --> 00:23:33,267 My cousins be jackin' your white ass, bro. 460 00:23:35,367 --> 00:23:37,133 Fu-uu-uu-ck! 461 00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:41,233 Bitches, move! Derrick--! 462 00:23:42,233 --> 00:23:45,233 Where the fuck you been, man? What's up? You can't call Tess?! 463 00:23:45,267 --> 00:23:47,900 I don't know you, girl. You must have me confused.. 464 00:23:47,933 --> 00:23:50,667 Don't play with me, you know I'm on parole... 465 00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:52,900 But I will beat your monkey ass up in this store. 466 00:23:52,933 --> 00:23:55,200 Who you think you playin' with? Acting like you don't know? 467 00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:57,533 But you knew me when you were all up in this good stuff... 468 00:23:57,567 --> 00:23:59,800 You were like-- bam! Bam! 469 00:23:59,833 --> 00:24:01,467 Now you're like you don't know nobody--whassup?! 470 00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:03,833 I don't know her, y'all. She's trippin'. 471 00:24:03,867 --> 00:24:06,700 Oh, now I'm lyin', huh? Now I'm-- 472 00:24:06,733 --> 00:24:08,700 get your damn hands off me. Fuck you. 473 00:24:08,733 --> 00:24:12,033 If I'm lyin', how come I know you've got a tattoo on your Booty cheeks 474 00:24:12,067 --> 00:24:14,033 saying, "hot side hot" on the left... 475 00:24:14,067 --> 00:24:16,667 And "cool side cool" on the right? Speak on it. 476 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,633 She's lyin', y'all. 477 00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:22,433 Yeah, right. Check it, check it. 478 00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:29,367 Ohh... 479 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,100 Fuck all y'all. 480 00:24:32,900 --> 00:24:35,233 Get a thing of milk, man. I don't want no fuckin' credit. 481 00:24:35,267 --> 00:24:37,267 That's all right, Derrick. Some like it hot. 482 00:24:37,300 --> 00:24:38,467 Some like it cold. 483 00:24:38,500 --> 00:24:39,867 Fuck you! 484 00:24:39,900 --> 00:24:41,933 ( All inside: ) - Fuck you! 485 00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:46,467 Ann...? Ann! 486 00:24:46,500 --> 00:24:48,300 Yo, Ann! 487 00:24:48,333 --> 00:24:49,933 What's up, girl? 488 00:24:52,833 --> 00:24:54,333 What do you want? 489 00:24:54,367 --> 00:24:56,333 I've been calling you. 490 00:24:56,367 --> 00:24:58,900 I know. Every day. For the past year. 491 00:24:58,933 --> 00:25:01,367 You know that's considered stalking, right? 492 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,500 I'm quiet. I ain't stalking. 493 00:25:03,533 --> 00:25:06,667 You were hiding in my bushes, Derrick. 494 00:25:06,700 --> 00:25:08,467 I was trying to pick you a flower. 495 00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:10,567 In the middle of December? 496 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,633 Christmas flower. 497 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,733 Come on, girl. You gotta... 498 00:25:16,767 --> 00:25:19,233 Give me a little chance here. 499 00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:21,867 I've been miserable, Ann. I'm serious. 500 00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:24,033 I haven't been with another woman since you... 501 00:25:24,067 --> 00:25:26,467 Big woman: Derrick! 502 00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:28,100 I know you hear me! 503 00:25:28,133 --> 00:25:30,967 I can't believe you tried to get up in her good stuff too! 504 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,433 That's okay... You ain't gettin' no more. 505 00:25:33,467 --> 00:25:35,400 You ain't never seein' no more of this. 506 00:25:35,433 --> 00:25:36,733 Ann... 507 00:25:36,767 --> 00:25:38,433 She's lyin'. 508 00:25:38,467 --> 00:25:40,500 Seriously, I ain't drinkin' any more... 509 00:25:40,533 --> 00:25:42,167 Chris: Yo, D! 510 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,167 I got the 40's! 511 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,633 Chris why you always playin' like that? 512 00:25:46,667 --> 00:25:48,567 You're a practical joker, man. 513 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,000 Jokin', always playin'... 514 00:25:50,033 --> 00:25:53,933 You're gonna tell me you don't owe any money, either? 515 00:25:53,967 --> 00:25:55,533 I don't, I-- 516 00:25:55,567 --> 00:25:57,100 ( store clerk ) Mira, Mira, maricon... 517 00:25:57,133 --> 00:26:00,100 For the last time, maricon, give me my money! 518 00:26:00,133 --> 00:26:01,167 Fuck you! 519 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,767 Fuck you! Give me the money you owe me! 520 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,033 I love you. I really do, Derrick... 521 00:26:12,067 --> 00:26:13,933 But I can't... 522 00:26:13,967 --> 00:26:15,933 I can't stay in this relationship 523 00:26:15,967 --> 00:26:18,000 if you won't grow up and you won't change. 524 00:26:18,033 --> 00:26:19,900 No, Derrick. 525 00:26:21,633 --> 00:26:23,333 It's like that, then, huh? 526 00:26:23,367 --> 00:26:27,667 Like we never even had nothing special? 527 00:26:27,700 --> 00:26:29,467 Remember St. Patrick's day at this park? 528 00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:30,667 No. 529 00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:32,433 You don't remember that? 530 00:26:32,467 --> 00:26:36,133 "Black Irish"? You don't remember that little game? 531 00:26:36,167 --> 00:26:38,033 ( Irish accent ) Top o' the mornin' to ya. 532 00:26:45,567 --> 00:26:47,933 ( Romantic ballad ) 533 00:26:49,367 --> 00:26:51,700 * just remember, baby 534 00:26:51,733 --> 00:26:53,300 * I'll always love you 535 00:26:53,333 --> 00:26:56,933 * I think about all the good times, baby * 536 00:27:00,233 --> 00:27:01,933 * that we had 537 00:27:01,967 --> 00:27:04,567 * I'll be there for you 538 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:08,733 * I feel so warm and fuzzy all over * 539 00:27:09,967 --> 00:27:11,900 * precious love 540 00:27:13,433 --> 00:27:16,567 * I feel so soft and fuzzy 541 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,300 * so soft and fuzzy 542 00:27:21,867 --> 00:27:24,633 * you make me feel... 543 00:27:26,567 --> 00:27:29,733 * all squishy inside 544 00:27:32,300 --> 00:27:35,333 * you make me feel 545 00:27:37,433 --> 00:27:39,633 * squishy inside 546 00:27:42,633 --> 00:27:45,667 * all fuzzy all over 547 00:27:45,700 --> 00:27:48,333 * my four leaf clover 548 00:27:48,367 --> 00:27:51,067 * fuzzy all over 549 00:27:54,467 --> 00:27:56,467 goodbye, Derrick. 550 00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:58,500 I gotta go to work. 551 00:27:59,167 --> 00:28:01,367 Maybe I'll stop by and see you later? 552 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:02,833 Please don't. 553 00:28:02,867 --> 00:28:04,700 Okay, I will. 554 00:28:16,100 --> 00:28:19,567 - Hey, little gay Urkel. - It's "Charles". 555 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,467 Yeah, whatever, man. Why did you rat me out? 556 00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:24,300 Mr. cosmo asked who told me to quit. 557 00:28:24,333 --> 00:28:28,533 You just added the part about the girl and all that? 558 00:28:28,567 --> 00:28:31,900 Having me jumping in dirty-ass swimming pools. 559 00:28:31,933 --> 00:28:34,833 Just 'cause you're caught up, don't get me caught up. 560 00:28:34,867 --> 00:28:37,567 Sorry. I guess I'm not very "down". 561 00:28:39,133 --> 00:28:41,100 It's cool, dog. I'm just lettin' you know... 562 00:28:41,133 --> 00:28:43,033 That ain't how we play it. 563 00:28:43,067 --> 00:28:44,767 So, who was that you were talking to? 564 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,533 You like her, huh? 565 00:28:46,567 --> 00:28:49,467 She's fine. That's my ex-girlfriend. 566 00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:52,100 - I'm gonna get her back. - What's your name? 567 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,833 Derrick. I gotta go. 568 00:28:55,867 --> 00:28:58,467 Oh--you know what? 569 00:28:58,500 --> 00:28:59,933 I heard Mr. cosmo talking. 570 00:28:59,967 --> 00:29:02,167 He said he was going to get your uncle. 571 00:29:05,900 --> 00:29:08,100 Let's go to my uncle's store. 572 00:29:08,133 --> 00:29:12,000 What's that shit all about? Hitting on a little boy? 573 00:29:12,033 --> 00:29:14,000 That's stupid, man... 574 00:29:14,033 --> 00:29:15,133 A little boy, Derrick?! 575 00:29:15,167 --> 00:29:17,800 My uncle's probably getting jacked right now... 576 00:29:17,833 --> 00:29:19,867 Are you trying to ass-Jack a little boy? 577 00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:31,567 Cosmo: ...Take care of this shit. 578 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,033 Can I help you, pimp dude? 579 00:29:45,067 --> 00:29:47,200 Shut the fuck up. 580 00:29:51,300 --> 00:29:54,433 That was so... Not called for. 581 00:29:54,467 --> 00:29:56,767 Hong Kong motherfucker. 582 00:29:56,800 --> 00:30:00,100 What the hell is going on out here? 583 00:30:00,133 --> 00:30:01,867 Where's your little faggot-ass nephew? 584 00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:04,067 Homie, I know you ain't talkin' about me... 585 00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:05,700 Unless you're tryin' to get rolled up. 586 00:30:05,733 --> 00:30:08,767 You're the only faggot I see out here. 587 00:30:10,333 --> 00:30:13,333 He's probably somewhere sucking somebody's dick. 588 00:30:13,367 --> 00:30:16,167 Your nephew's been up in my motherfucking business. 589 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,400 Uh-huh. 590 00:30:18,433 --> 00:30:20,633 Yeah, I don't hear shit now. Do I? 591 00:30:20,667 --> 00:30:22,133 Do I? 592 00:30:22,167 --> 00:30:24,833 See, I got a couple of motherfucking things to decide. 593 00:30:24,867 --> 00:30:27,000 Should I kill you, and wait for him... 594 00:30:27,033 --> 00:30:29,233 Or wait for him, and kill him in front of you... 595 00:30:29,267 --> 00:30:31,500 Or wait for him, and kill you in front of him... 596 00:30:31,533 --> 00:30:33,200 Or should I kill you in front of him...? 597 00:30:33,233 --> 00:30:35,233 ( Hysterically ) Or should I kill everybody in this motherfucker?!! 598 00:30:35,267 --> 00:30:37,867 Or should I kill my motherfuckin' self? 599 00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:40,300 You need to make up your motherfuckin' mind. 600 00:30:41,633 --> 00:30:44,400 You're just the motherfucker I've been looking for. 601 00:30:44,433 --> 00:30:46,633 I thought you'd be too scared to face me, you little bitch. 602 00:30:46,667 --> 00:30:49,100 Derrick: I ain't little. 603 00:30:49,133 --> 00:30:50,333 Let's go, you little bitch. 604 00:30:50,367 --> 00:30:52,600 - I told you, I ain't little. - Shut up. Let's go. 605 00:30:52,633 --> 00:30:54,500 Yo, dog. 606 00:30:54,533 --> 00:30:56,733 Ow, dog. You're hurtin' me. 607 00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:59,067 Chris, come on. 608 00:31:00,567 --> 00:31:02,400 Yo, Chris, let's go, dog. 609 00:31:03,967 --> 00:31:06,400 We know your ass is in there--let's go! 610 00:31:06,433 --> 00:31:07,933 Fuck! 611 00:31:07,967 --> 00:31:10,233 Oh, here's my lighter! 612 00:31:10,267 --> 00:31:11,867 I was lookin' for my lighter. 613 00:31:11,900 --> 00:31:13,667 Get nervous, gotta smoke when we get ready to fight. 614 00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:19,033 You're goin' down, you little punk-ass. 615 00:31:19,067 --> 00:31:21,300 Let's do this. 616 00:31:21,333 --> 00:31:23,867 It's cool. I got this, Dee... 617 00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:25,900 Nah, this ain't cool. 618 00:31:25,933 --> 00:31:28,533 Don't nobody fuck with my nephew! 619 00:31:28,567 --> 00:31:29,900 That's right, Derrick. 620 00:31:29,933 --> 00:31:32,533 We got your back. I'm always down to scrap. 621 00:31:32,567 --> 00:31:34,633 I'm gonna kill all y'all motherfuckers. 622 00:31:34,667 --> 00:31:36,033 But I'm gonna have a little fun, first. 623 00:31:36,067 --> 00:31:38,367 You know what I'm sayin'? 624 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,033 Hold this shit. 625 00:31:40,067 --> 00:31:43,033 This shit is on. 626 00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:45,467 Fuck this. We're all going down. 627 00:31:49,733 --> 00:31:52,633 I'm cool... I'm cool with my shirt. 628 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,767 Take your motherfucking shirt off! 629 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:00,600 I was doing that... 630 00:32:03,733 --> 00:32:06,167 Maybe you should let him shoot you. 631 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,400 911? 632 00:32:08,433 --> 00:32:10,833 Yeah, uh... Help. 633 00:32:10,867 --> 00:32:13,733 Like, they're trying to kill Derrick. 634 00:32:15,133 --> 00:32:16,967 Yeah, take your time. 635 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,467 ( Siren ) 636 00:32:27,167 --> 00:32:28,933 My store. 637 00:32:28,967 --> 00:32:30,367 Turn around. 638 00:32:35,367 --> 00:32:37,633 Derrick: See y'all later. Take it easy. 639 00:32:40,767 --> 00:32:42,367 I knew as soon as everybody took off their shirts... 640 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,900 We'd end up on TV. I'm tellin' you--whassup? 641 00:32:44,933 --> 00:32:46,100 For real. Hey, listen... 642 00:32:46,133 --> 00:32:48,333 They're lucky they came when they did... 643 00:32:48,367 --> 00:32:50,533 'Cause I was about to put my foot 644 00:32:50,567 --> 00:32:53,633 like, deep-deep-deep in their ass... 645 00:32:55,833 --> 00:32:58,067 Cool and ree-freshing. 646 00:32:58,100 --> 00:33:00,567 My, my, my. 647 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:04,500 Look who's makin' their tello-vision de-but. 648 00:33:04,533 --> 00:33:06,200 Look at you two. 649 00:33:06,967 --> 00:33:09,233 Uh-uh-uh. 650 00:33:09,267 --> 00:33:12,200 You aren't plannin' on drivin' with those alcoholic beverages? 651 00:33:12,233 --> 00:33:15,667 No, these are sealed. We were transporting them. 652 00:33:15,700 --> 00:33:17,133 ( Sniffing ) 653 00:33:17,167 --> 00:33:19,267 You boys smell like you've already been drinkin'. 654 00:33:21,767 --> 00:33:23,833 That's just piss. We went swimming earlier. 655 00:33:23,867 --> 00:33:27,367 Well--! You been swimmin' in piss? 656 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,500 Ain't that just sweet. 657 00:33:31,233 --> 00:33:33,500 Thank you, officer. Thank you very much. 658 00:33:33,533 --> 00:33:36,733 I wouldn't suggest drivin' unless you want a DUI. 659 00:33:36,767 --> 00:33:39,567 Oh, no... No sir. 660 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,267 We would not like a DUI. 661 00:33:41,300 --> 00:33:44,067 Between you and I, I would not like a DUI. 662 00:33:44,100 --> 00:33:46,133 Why, why, y... You see--u c... 663 00:33:46,167 --> 00:33:47,900 You can keep it with your G.E.D. 664 00:33:47,933 --> 00:33:49,667 ( Chuckling ) 665 00:33:49,700 --> 00:33:51,267 Let me use your phone, dog. 666 00:33:54,233 --> 00:33:56,533 ( Singing hip-hop style ) 667 00:33:59,300 --> 00:34:00,667 What? 668 00:34:00,700 --> 00:34:02,733 - What are you doing, man? - I'm doing the beat box. 669 00:34:02,767 --> 00:34:04,800 How long is it gonna take you to get the beat box? 670 00:34:04,833 --> 00:34:08,267 I got it. Where's the damn milk? 671 00:34:08,300 --> 00:34:10,833 I forgot it. 672 00:34:10,867 --> 00:34:13,333 How could you do that to me? I told you, my mom-- 673 00:34:13,367 --> 00:34:15,467 ( gasp ) 674 00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:17,800 Yike-- booties, dude. 675 00:34:18,167 --> 00:34:19,567 Like that. 676 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,467 Hey, check it out. 677 00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:23,000 Derrick: Look at that. 678 00:34:23,033 --> 00:34:25,067 I remember that school like it was yesterday. 679 00:34:25,100 --> 00:34:29,700 We were here talking to fatty yesterday. 680 00:34:29,733 --> 00:34:31,167 Oh, that's right. 681 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,867 I remember the first time I seen you, man... 682 00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:40,533 Fresh off the boat from Ireland, wearing a dress. 683 00:34:40,567 --> 00:34:42,700 No, no... It was a kilt. 684 00:34:42,733 --> 00:34:44,700 Chris: "It was a kilt". 685 00:34:44,733 --> 00:34:46,933 Stupid, you almost got yourself "kilt". 686 00:34:46,967 --> 00:34:49,067 ( Singing: ) I'm going to school in America... 687 00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:51,167 America, America... 688 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,300 Going to school in America, 689 00:34:53,333 --> 00:34:55,233 la-la-la-la-la. 690 00:34:56,633 --> 00:34:59,767 Hello, my name is Derrick. I'm in first grade today. 691 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:01,467 What is your name? 692 00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,067 My name is... 693 00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:06,433 Why you wearin' a dress? You little faggot. 694 00:35:06,467 --> 00:35:07,467 It's a kilt. 695 00:35:07,500 --> 00:35:10,533 Looks like a dress to me. Faggot. 696 00:35:12,667 --> 00:35:15,167 I'll let you kiss me for a dollar. 697 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:16,367 No-oo! 698 00:35:17,100 --> 00:35:19,267 I knew you were a little faggot. 699 00:35:19,300 --> 00:35:23,133 Derrick: Who would have guessed that sweet little girl, Paula 700 00:35:23,167 --> 00:35:26,667 would grow up to be a local skank-ass ho'? 701 00:35:26,700 --> 00:35:28,633 ( Hip-hop music playing ) 702 00:35:42,733 --> 00:35:44,367 ( Laughter ) 703 00:36:33,867 --> 00:36:35,267 That was fresh! 704 00:36:58,867 --> 00:37:02,333 Derrick: All the pretty black girls tried to get with me even then. 705 00:37:02,367 --> 00:37:04,633 Especially when they found out I could dance. 706 00:37:04,667 --> 00:37:06,833 ( Celtic fiddle music ) 707 00:37:54,433 --> 00:37:56,100 ( Applause ) 708 00:37:58,900 --> 00:38:01,133 Hey, it's cosmo. 709 00:38:01,167 --> 00:38:04,700 "Cosmo"? What kind of weird name is-- 710 00:38:04,733 --> 00:38:06,267 kids: Ooh! 711 00:38:06,300 --> 00:38:07,867 What did you do that for? 712 00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:11,433 Derrick: That was the first time I met cosmo, too. 713 00:38:11,467 --> 00:38:13,433 We became instant homies... 714 00:38:14,900 --> 00:38:16,967 After I whipped his ass. 715 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,233 ( Bell rings ) 716 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,000 Hey, you guys. Wait for me. 717 00:38:31,367 --> 00:38:33,500 Damn, man... Tryin' to drink back here. 718 00:38:34,900 --> 00:38:37,567 I thought you just wanted some milk and go home. 719 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,000 I do, but I gotta see Ann first. 720 00:38:42,633 --> 00:38:45,167 ( African-style rhythm ) 721 00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:47,967 Fire...! 722 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,633 Pain! 723 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,500 - See, all about the hair. - Come on, let's go. 724 00:38:55,700 --> 00:38:57,333 Woman: Flow like rain... 725 00:38:57,367 --> 00:39:00,933 Insane! Insane! 726 00:39:00,967 --> 00:39:04,533 Why? Why? 727 00:39:04,567 --> 00:39:07,700 Just kill a cracker... Why? 728 00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:12,200 ( Applauding ) Oh, my God, yeah! 729 00:39:12,233 --> 00:39:14,367 Why--why? 730 00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:15,700 Derrick: Why, girl? 731 00:39:15,733 --> 00:39:17,433 Thank you, ling. 732 00:39:17,467 --> 00:39:19,500 May I help you? 733 00:39:19,533 --> 00:39:21,333 ( Together: ) "Why?" 734 00:39:21,367 --> 00:39:23,767 Trapped-- inside my skin. 735 00:39:24,900 --> 00:39:27,633 Ann, listen... 736 00:39:27,667 --> 00:39:30,367 It was good to see you this afternoon, and... 737 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,433 Aw, please. He wants to do a poem. 738 00:39:32,467 --> 00:39:33,233 No. 739 00:39:33,267 --> 00:39:35,567 Trapped--inside... 740 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:37,500 My skin. 741 00:39:37,533 --> 00:39:39,333 "No"? Why can't I--? 742 00:39:39,367 --> 00:39:41,800 'Cause I'm white, huh? 743 00:39:42,367 --> 00:39:45,100 See? It's not fair. 744 00:39:47,100 --> 00:39:49,233 Thank you very much, Stokely Ungawa, 745 00:39:49,267 --> 00:39:51,467 and your lovely wife, Betsy. 746 00:39:53,433 --> 00:39:55,667 Next, we will be having a new contestant... 747 00:39:55,700 --> 00:39:57,633 Performing a piece entitled... 748 00:39:57,667 --> 00:39:59,567 "It's because I'm white." 749 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,700 ( Applause ) 750 00:40:03,667 --> 00:40:05,967 - Do your thing. - You're coming with me. 751 00:40:07,900 --> 00:40:10,500 - Yo, man, that poem was dope. - Dude, thanks a lot. 752 00:40:15,100 --> 00:40:17,167 Trapped inside my skin. 753 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:18,633 White boy! 754 00:40:18,667 --> 00:40:20,733 Honky! Cracker! 755 00:40:20,767 --> 00:40:22,000 Clearwater! 756 00:40:22,033 --> 00:40:23,467 He ain't pink! He's pink! 757 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:24,567 He's pink! 758 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,700 These are the names I hear... 759 00:40:26,733 --> 00:40:30,567 As I walk through my streets in fear. 760 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:34,133 I go pick up my girl, Ann, but her daddy don't understand. 761 00:40:34,167 --> 00:40:37,567 Naw--he won't answer the door. Why? 762 00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:38,500 He thinks I'm-- 763 00:40:38,533 --> 00:40:40,033 ...five-o. 764 00:40:40,067 --> 00:40:42,867 I'm just a brother tryin' to get a little bit, y'know? 765 00:40:42,900 --> 00:40:44,133 Yeah. 766 00:40:44,167 --> 00:40:45,733 Yo, white boy! 767 00:40:45,767 --> 00:40:48,467 Why do you wish to sit behind me on this bus... 768 00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:51,467 White man motherfucker? 769 00:40:51,500 --> 00:40:54,367 You better take two steps back. You're about to get dropped... 770 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,633 Ding-ding-- ...Next stop. 771 00:40:56,667 --> 00:40:58,633 I'm walkin' now. 772 00:40:58,667 --> 00:41:01,600 Hey, white boy, how dare you walk through my park? 773 00:41:01,633 --> 00:41:03,367 You ain't from around here. 774 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,733 Leave him alone, Dee. He ain't hurtin' nobody. 775 00:41:05,767 --> 00:41:08,200 Shut the fuck up, I'm talkin' to the white boy. 776 00:41:08,233 --> 00:41:10,933 Pow! Pow! Stick! Stick! 777 00:41:10,967 --> 00:41:14,633 Darkness... Fell upon da white boy. 778 00:41:15,633 --> 00:41:17,533 Yo, white boy... 779 00:41:17,567 --> 00:41:19,733 Wake up. 780 00:41:19,767 --> 00:41:21,633 Yo, they fucked you up, white boy. 781 00:41:21,667 --> 00:41:23,233 Fucked you up. 782 00:41:24,433 --> 00:41:26,767 Cassandra, what you doin' talkin' to the white boy? 783 00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:30,167 Leave him alone, he's mine. I found the white boy. 784 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,800 What are you gonna do? Kick his ass here in front of the liquor store? 785 00:41:32,833 --> 00:41:35,467 Pow-pow! Stick-stick! 786 00:41:35,500 --> 00:41:37,500 And-- darkness-s-s... 787 00:41:39,500 --> 00:41:43,000 Fell upon... Da white boy. 788 00:41:43,033 --> 00:41:46,033 Fire, pain, my people. 789 00:41:46,067 --> 00:41:48,833 Slain... But my tears-- 790 00:41:48,867 --> 00:41:52,467 can't "flow like rain, flow like rain". 791 00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:54,267 We cannot cry here. 792 00:41:56,033 --> 00:41:58,833 And now, my girl... Don't love me no mo'. 793 00:42:00,833 --> 00:42:02,833 So, I'm out the do'. 794 00:42:02,867 --> 00:42:05,400 And, darkness... 795 00:42:05,433 --> 00:42:08,067 Once again... 796 00:42:08,100 --> 00:42:09,900 Fell upon the white boy. 797 00:42:11,733 --> 00:42:13,500 It's dirty, man. 798 00:42:13,533 --> 00:42:15,167 ( Applause ) 799 00:42:18,267 --> 00:42:20,867 Okay, we have winners! 800 00:42:20,900 --> 00:42:24,800 Third place... $250 dollars. 801 00:42:24,833 --> 00:42:26,367 Whoop! Paper! 802 00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,267 ...goes to... 803 00:42:28,300 --> 00:42:31,900 Stokely Ungawa, for, "I be a real black man". 804 00:42:31,933 --> 00:42:33,667 ( Applause ) 805 00:42:35,500 --> 00:42:37,000 Second place... 806 00:42:37,033 --> 00:42:39,400 $350 dollars. 807 00:42:39,433 --> 00:42:42,267 I need that money... Lord, I need the money. 808 00:42:42,300 --> 00:42:44,967 And the prize money goes to... 809 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:46,867 Milk money, here we come... 810 00:42:46,900 --> 00:42:50,900 Ling ling Liebwovaski, for, "why, why, why, why, why?" 811 00:42:52,533 --> 00:42:54,867 Great, ling ling. 812 00:42:54,900 --> 00:42:57,700 The winner-- is you, Derrick! 813 00:42:57,733 --> 00:42:59,233 Give me the loot! 814 00:42:59,267 --> 00:43:01,000 I'm so proud of you. 815 00:43:05,967 --> 00:43:07,900 We won, Chris. We won! 816 00:43:07,933 --> 00:43:10,200 Oh, hell, no! We didn't win. 817 00:43:10,233 --> 00:43:11,767 What is that, a big dick statue? 818 00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,167 It's an east African artifact. 819 00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,933 Oh, Ann... I love it. 820 00:43:19,567 --> 00:43:20,900 I was just wondering if... 821 00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:24,300 Maybe I could, um... Please... 822 00:43:25,300 --> 00:43:27,200 Please, see you later? 823 00:43:27,233 --> 00:43:29,567 You can call me later. 824 00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,000 Use the telephone, Derrick. 825 00:43:31,033 --> 00:43:33,300 All right. Well-- 826 00:43:33,333 --> 00:43:36,500 okay. I'll check you out later. 827 00:43:36,533 --> 00:43:38,300 Thanks, y'all. I love it. 828 00:43:38,333 --> 00:43:40,367 ( Applause ) 829 00:43:45,833 --> 00:43:47,167 Damn dick statue. 830 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:47,900 We won! 831 00:43:47,933 --> 00:43:49,167 Whatever, man. 832 00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:52,800 At least your girl's coming around. That's dope. 833 00:43:52,833 --> 00:43:55,900 That is dope. It's all about stickin' to it. 834 00:43:55,933 --> 00:43:57,867 I mean, you gotta follow them and shit. 835 00:43:57,900 --> 00:44:00,600 What's a restraining order? A piece of paper? 836 00:44:00,633 --> 00:44:02,667 Derrick: I ain't scared of a piece of paper. 837 00:44:02,700 --> 00:44:04,600 I'll kick the paper's ass, 'cause I... 838 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:13,700 Derrick: My dick statue! 839 00:44:18,667 --> 00:44:20,367 My motherfuckin' tooth! 840 00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,967 I'm gonna kill y'all motherfuckers! 841 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,700 You killed cosmo. 842 00:44:30,733 --> 00:44:32,200 No, I didn't... 843 00:44:32,233 --> 00:44:34,367 - You killed his ass, man. - Shut the fuck up. 844 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,600 Derrick: You shut the fuck up. You killed him. 845 00:44:38,567 --> 00:44:40,667 Excuse me, sir... 846 00:44:40,700 --> 00:44:43,067 This is very hard for me to part with 847 00:44:43,100 --> 00:44:46,167 but, if you'd like to buy an antique? 848 00:44:47,100 --> 00:44:49,133 "Antique"? 849 00:44:49,167 --> 00:44:51,133 Looks like a dick statue to me. 850 00:44:51,167 --> 00:44:53,600 No, no, no... 851 00:44:53,633 --> 00:44:55,333 Brother man, you don't understand. 852 00:44:57,867 --> 00:45:01,767 This is an antique, man! African warrior! 853 00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,633 I've got your "African warrior" right here. 854 00:45:07,067 --> 00:45:11,800 But when's the last time your "African warrior" stood up like this? 855 00:45:11,833 --> 00:45:14,967 Fuck you-- we got Viagra now! 856 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:16,600 "Vee-Agra"? 857 00:45:16,633 --> 00:45:18,567 Try the porn shop down the street. 858 00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,467 Man, this is some bullshit. I won this in a poetry contest. 859 00:45:21,500 --> 00:45:24,000 I was givin' it my all. I won first prize... 860 00:45:24,033 --> 00:45:26,067 I was like, "white boy, cracker..." 861 00:45:26,100 --> 00:45:28,833 Get out of here. The porn shop. 862 00:45:28,867 --> 00:45:30,633 Chris: "Why? Why?" 863 00:45:30,667 --> 00:45:32,333 Shut the fuck up. 864 00:45:32,367 --> 00:45:34,867 I told y'all I was going to kill y'all motherfuckers. 865 00:45:34,900 --> 00:45:36,033 Come on. 866 00:45:36,067 --> 00:45:37,300 ( Click ) 867 00:45:37,333 --> 00:45:38,967 Settle down. 868 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:42,000 Let's have those guns, s-s-stranger. 869 00:45:44,567 --> 00:45:46,767 Derrick: You shouldn't be tryin' to kill people. 870 00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:50,933 Hey, do you guys have dogs--? 871 00:45:52,033 --> 00:45:57,300 Man: My little pigs in a blanket, all lined up for daddy. 872 00:45:57,333 --> 00:46:00,467 I like to play racketball... Yes, I do. 873 00:46:00,500 --> 00:46:02,367 Shop owner: Gag the white boy. 874 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,367 Yes! 875 00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:05,867 Derrick: Hold up, now. 876 00:46:05,900 --> 00:46:08,400 You can still let us go. 877 00:46:08,433 --> 00:46:10,167 Oh, sweetie, it's okay. 878 00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:13,300 The only place you're going to is ass-land. 879 00:46:13,333 --> 00:46:15,167 Now, suck on this. 880 00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:17,000 That's it. What's that? 881 00:46:17,033 --> 00:46:18,467 ( Anxious garbling ) 882 00:46:18,500 --> 00:46:20,400 Oh, you're an Aries? Nice. 883 00:46:20,433 --> 00:46:22,867 Well, I'm a Capri-sorn. 884 00:46:22,900 --> 00:46:25,800 Cowboy... Get down here. 885 00:46:25,833 --> 00:46:28,200 You keep an eye on this tasty little treat. 886 00:46:28,233 --> 00:46:30,633 We're gonna take these little treats... 887 00:46:30,667 --> 00:46:32,867 Into the s-s-secret room. 888 00:46:32,900 --> 00:46:35,700 Yes! Come on! 889 00:46:36,767 --> 00:46:39,533 Have a salad--jeesus! 890 00:46:40,533 --> 00:46:43,400 Don't be afraid to do a sit-up once in a while. 891 00:46:43,433 --> 00:46:45,400 ( Disco music playing ) 892 00:46:52,267 --> 00:46:55,600 Man: Maestro...? Yes! 893 00:46:55,633 --> 00:46:58,033 All right, boys, hi. 894 00:46:58,067 --> 00:47:00,300 Hi, boys. Hungry? 895 00:47:00,333 --> 00:47:02,100 Daddy's hungry for some love. 896 00:47:02,133 --> 00:47:04,667 How about some snacks? Yes! 897 00:47:04,700 --> 00:47:06,833 Lovely snacks in the back. 898 00:47:06,867 --> 00:47:09,367 Yes, lookit... 899 00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,600 From snack king, I have some lovely snacks 900 00:47:11,633 --> 00:47:13,867 for a snack queen. Yes, I do. 901 00:47:13,900 --> 00:47:17,567 Some little fruities, and also sugar cookies. 902 00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:20,600 Yes, I love sugar cookies! 903 00:47:20,633 --> 00:47:23,533 Yes, and all of a sudden... Ohhh--! 904 00:47:23,567 --> 00:47:25,467 Oops! Where'd they go? 905 00:47:25,500 --> 00:47:28,833 Someone's gonna have to go get those...Hot. 906 00:48:01,100 --> 00:48:03,933 ( Howling ) Oww-ww! 907 00:48:07,733 --> 00:48:09,900 Oh, mama--! 908 00:48:24,733 --> 00:48:27,767 Help--! 909 00:48:29,633 --> 00:48:30,633 Loretha? 910 00:48:30,667 --> 00:48:32,567 Derrick? 911 00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:34,533 Oh, my God, girl! 912 00:48:34,567 --> 00:48:36,933 How you doin'? 913 00:48:36,967 --> 00:48:38,933 Look at you. 914 00:48:38,967 --> 00:48:40,733 - You look good. - Thank you, baby. 915 00:48:40,767 --> 00:48:42,733 I haven't seen you in like, years. 916 00:48:42,767 --> 00:48:44,367 I know. What's goin' on? 917 00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,300 Come on, let me catch up with you. 918 00:48:46,333 --> 00:48:48,267 Little--San--dals! 919 00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:50,300 These feel nice. 920 00:48:50,333 --> 00:48:52,100 I wish we had these in the other room. 921 00:48:52,133 --> 00:48:54,500 Yes! These are really excellent! 922 00:48:54,533 --> 00:48:56,467 Yes, they are. 923 00:48:56,500 --> 00:49:00,100 Say it, now... "Nice sandals, Sasquatch." 924 00:49:00,133 --> 00:49:02,433 Say it!! You boys... 925 00:49:02,467 --> 00:49:04,500 That's not good enough. 926 00:49:04,533 --> 00:49:06,067 Don't make me mad... 927 00:49:06,100 --> 00:49:08,233 I'll take my sandals off, and get my boots... 928 00:49:08,267 --> 00:49:10,900 And go for a little hike up your ass. 929 00:49:10,933 --> 00:49:13,733 That's right, say it. Say it! 930 00:49:13,767 --> 00:49:16,867 Or you're gonna get an ass full of me. You say it. 931 00:49:16,900 --> 00:49:21,033 Daddy's got some love butter, yes, he does... 932 00:49:21,067 --> 00:49:23,467 Here it comes, here it comes, boys. 933 00:49:23,500 --> 00:49:25,500 Daddy's gonna grease you up, now. 934 00:49:25,533 --> 00:49:27,067 ( Frenzied mumbling ) 935 00:49:27,100 --> 00:49:29,867 A little lubrication for you... 936 00:49:29,900 --> 00:49:31,900 And for you, too. 937 00:49:31,933 --> 00:49:34,033 The fun begins in just a minute. 938 00:49:34,067 --> 00:49:36,467 Oh, my God, look at you! 939 00:49:36,500 --> 00:49:38,233 You never heard about coo-coo? 940 00:49:38,267 --> 00:49:40,000 Coco. 941 00:49:40,033 --> 00:49:41,767 Coco! It was coco and coo-coo. I always used to call them up. 942 00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:43,533 - But you look good, girl. - Thank you. 943 00:49:43,567 --> 00:49:46,400 Look at you... Tattoos... 944 00:49:46,433 --> 00:49:48,167 Wearin' your tight stuff. 945 00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:49,833 I lost a little weight. 946 00:49:49,867 --> 00:49:51,333 ( Rip ) 947 00:49:52,100 --> 00:49:54,800 Smells like love. Yes! 948 00:49:55,633 --> 00:49:58,033 That's right... Yes. 949 00:49:59,467 --> 00:50:01,633 Nice, my little kernel. 950 00:50:01,667 --> 00:50:05,400 Daddy's gonna butter you up so you pop big. That's right. 951 00:50:05,433 --> 00:50:09,067 Lean back. Let me get the undercarriage. 952 00:50:09,100 --> 00:50:11,300 Yes, that's nice, daddy. 953 00:50:13,333 --> 00:50:15,833 Looks like you have enough cholesterol already. 954 00:50:17,100 --> 00:50:19,100 Ooh, yes...Nice. 955 00:50:20,967 --> 00:50:22,867 Where's my statue of love? 956 00:50:22,900 --> 00:50:25,233 One buttered dick statue, comin' up. 957 00:50:25,267 --> 00:50:28,100 Everybody's good. Mama's good... 958 00:50:28,133 --> 00:50:32,033 Shaquan, and Darryl, Kilolo, they're all good. 959 00:50:32,067 --> 00:50:34,600 That's good, my mom's good... 960 00:50:34,633 --> 00:50:36,633 My sister, everybody's doing good. 961 00:50:36,667 --> 00:50:38,600 You still hangin' with what's his name? 962 00:50:38,633 --> 00:50:40,167 That little short guy? 963 00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,933 Oh, little stubby-ass Chris. 964 00:50:42,967 --> 00:50:44,900 - Where is he? - He's... 965 00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,200 Oh, my God--Chris!! 966 00:50:56,233 --> 00:50:58,533 The statue of love. 967 00:50:58,567 --> 00:50:59,933 Give it to 'em. 968 00:50:59,967 --> 00:51:02,767 Yes, yes... Yes! 969 00:51:07,567 --> 00:51:09,367 ( Man gasps ) 970 00:51:11,767 --> 00:51:12,367 Yeah... 971 00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:13,967 Aw, man... 972 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:15,267 Ow! 973 00:51:21,367 --> 00:51:23,067 You are seriously sick, man. 974 00:51:23,100 --> 00:51:26,100 You are s-s-seriously s-s-sick! 975 00:51:26,133 --> 00:51:28,733 S-s-stop talking like me. 976 00:51:28,767 --> 00:51:30,267 Easy, easy. 977 00:51:34,333 --> 00:51:35,433 Back! 978 00:51:39,700 --> 00:51:41,067 Kill this motherfucker--! 979 00:51:41,100 --> 00:51:42,967 Don't kill him! Come on, man! 980 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,267 I'll butter your fuckin' muffin! 981 00:51:44,300 --> 00:51:46,167 Go, go, go! 982 00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:47,900 Be sensible. 983 00:51:47,933 --> 00:51:49,400 Where's my shirt? 984 00:51:49,433 --> 00:51:50,900 ( Muffled scream ) 985 00:51:56,433 --> 00:51:58,633 Come on Chris, sop up some of that butter. 986 00:51:58,667 --> 00:52:00,700 Here you go, s-s-seriously. 987 00:52:00,733 --> 00:52:03,000 Don't you fuckin' touch me! Get the fuck off me! 988 00:52:03,033 --> 00:52:05,167 What happened in there, man? 989 00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:07,367 Nothin' happened in there. Nothin'! 990 00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:09,467 You say something, I'll kick your ass! 991 00:52:09,500 --> 00:52:12,100 Hello, sassafras! 992 00:52:13,933 --> 00:52:16,333 Feeling lonely? Yes! 993 00:52:18,100 --> 00:52:21,600 It's the fucking dick statue! It cursed us! 994 00:52:21,633 --> 00:52:23,033 I'm going home. 995 00:52:23,067 --> 00:52:25,333 Will you take me to the store, please? To get some milk? 996 00:52:25,367 --> 00:52:27,333 I have something I need to take care of. 997 00:52:28,900 --> 00:52:30,867 Fuck you! 998 00:52:30,900 --> 00:52:33,933 Look at me--! I almost got raped! 999 00:52:33,967 --> 00:52:35,967 You talkin' about some fuckin' milk?! 1000 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,067 That's right, Chris, 'cause that's important to me... 1001 00:52:38,100 --> 00:52:40,167 And I saved your ass. I didn't have to go back... 1002 00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:42,433 But I'm your friend. I saved you. 1003 00:52:42,467 --> 00:52:45,400 I saved your ass. So take me to the store... 1004 00:52:45,433 --> 00:52:47,533 And get some milk so I can get back in my house. 1005 00:52:47,567 --> 00:52:50,300 Start the car. We are not cursed. 1006 00:52:50,333 --> 00:52:52,133 Start the damn car. 1007 00:52:52,167 --> 00:52:54,433 ( Motor whines, fails ) 1008 00:52:56,333 --> 00:52:58,300 ( Cranking ) 1009 00:53:01,167 --> 00:53:03,933 ...cursed. 1010 00:53:03,967 --> 00:53:06,100 Everybody runs out of gas, Chris. 1011 00:53:06,133 --> 00:53:08,533 Shut up and keep pushing, motherfucker. 1012 00:53:08,567 --> 00:53:10,333 You had a bad day. 1013 00:53:10,367 --> 00:53:12,567 You crashed your car... 1014 00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:13,867 You swam in piss... 1015 00:53:13,900 --> 00:53:17,133 You almost got raped, but you gotta say to yourself... 1016 00:53:17,167 --> 00:53:19,400 "Everything's gonna be all right!" 1017 00:53:19,433 --> 00:53:21,667 We gonna be all right! 1018 00:53:21,700 --> 00:53:23,633 Fuck you! 1019 00:53:23,667 --> 00:53:25,333 ( Siren ) 1020 00:53:25,367 --> 00:53:27,467 Hey--hide the shit. 1021 00:53:27,500 --> 00:53:29,967 Derrick: How are you officers doing? 1022 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,667 - How are you doin' today? - Doin' good, thank you. 1023 00:53:31,700 --> 00:53:34,700 Well, well... Looky what we got here. 1024 00:53:34,733 --> 00:53:36,767 Looks like the boy with the pretty little body. 1025 00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,633 A couple of two-bit pushers. 1026 00:53:38,667 --> 00:53:39,933 Told you we was cursed. 1027 00:53:39,967 --> 00:53:42,500 Goddamn Ann and the big dick statue. 1028 00:53:42,533 --> 00:53:44,267 Cop: Git in there, boy. 1029 00:53:44,300 --> 00:53:46,333 A little snug in there, boy? 1030 00:53:46,367 --> 00:53:48,267 ( Laughing ) 1031 00:53:49,967 --> 00:53:52,133 Ann--! 1032 00:53:52,167 --> 00:53:54,900 You are hurting me, officer. 1033 00:53:54,933 --> 00:53:57,600 I'm trying to come in here. So what, I got "two strikes"? 1034 00:53:57,633 --> 00:53:59,900 I want my apple, and I want my milk. 1035 00:53:59,933 --> 00:54:03,000 And the sandwich you're supposed to get. I know the routine, y'all. 1036 00:54:03,033 --> 00:54:05,633 This is some bullshit. I wasn't even drunk... 1037 00:54:05,667 --> 00:54:09,033 Point-oh-six blood alcohol. That's legal. 1038 00:54:09,067 --> 00:54:11,600 You were at two-point six. That's legally dead. 1039 00:54:11,633 --> 00:54:14,333 It don't matter, I wasn't drivin', I was pushin'. 1040 00:54:14,367 --> 00:54:15,867 You gonna give me a PUI? 1041 00:54:15,900 --> 00:54:20,000 You're being charged with public drunkenness. 1042 00:54:20,033 --> 00:54:23,133 You'll stay in here after you sleep it off. 1043 00:54:23,167 --> 00:54:25,867 That is, if you're able to sleep it off. 1044 00:54:34,467 --> 00:54:36,633 Can't believe I just killed a man... 1045 00:54:36,667 --> 00:54:39,867 Moments ago, with my bare hands. 1046 00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:44,600 You standin' in my spot. 1047 00:54:44,633 --> 00:54:47,633 I said, you standin' in my spot. 1048 00:54:47,667 --> 00:54:49,633 Kick the white motherfucker's ass! 1049 00:54:49,667 --> 00:54:50,933 ( Angry commotion ) 1050 00:55:01,433 --> 00:55:02,900 Kick his ass. Fuck him up for Rodney king... 1051 00:55:02,933 --> 00:55:04,867 Kill him for goddamn Kunta Kinte... 1052 00:55:04,900 --> 00:55:07,767 Kill him, kill the cracker... 1053 00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:09,633 "Why?" 1054 00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:15,000 Yo, man... 1055 00:55:15,033 --> 00:55:17,000 I'm gonna beat your fuckin' ass. 1056 00:55:17,033 --> 00:55:19,033 Dog... It's not your fault. 1057 00:55:19,067 --> 00:55:20,900 What the fuck you mean? What ain't my fault? 1058 00:55:20,933 --> 00:55:23,033 - It's not your fault. - You got to pay rent... 1059 00:55:23,067 --> 00:55:25,333 That's my spot... That's my spot... 1060 00:55:25,367 --> 00:55:27,233 It's not your fault, dog. 1061 00:55:27,267 --> 00:55:28,933 Look, you... 1062 00:55:28,967 --> 00:55:30,600 It's not your fault, man. 1063 00:55:30,633 --> 00:55:32,200 Derrick: I know... I know. 1064 00:55:32,233 --> 00:55:34,833 Hey, man, you-- 1065 00:55:34,867 --> 00:55:36,267 I know, I know... 1066 00:55:36,300 --> 00:55:38,600 - Look, man-- - it's not your fault. 1067 00:55:38,633 --> 00:55:40,567 ( Whimpering ) My father, he... 1068 00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,433 All I heard was, "it was your fault"... 1069 00:55:42,467 --> 00:55:44,900 ( Sobbing ) 1070 00:55:44,933 --> 00:55:46,933 Let it out, man... 1071 00:55:50,033 --> 00:55:51,767 ( Bawling continues ) 1072 00:55:52,900 --> 00:55:54,933 Dog, it definitely ain't your fault-- 1073 00:55:54,967 --> 00:55:57,033 get your monkey ass off me, bitch! 1074 00:55:59,367 --> 00:56:00,467 Hey... 1075 00:56:00,500 --> 00:56:02,000 You seen Derrick? 1076 00:56:04,900 --> 00:56:08,700 I don't care if I ever see the good-for-nothing again. 1077 00:56:11,900 --> 00:56:13,733 I don't think he's good for nothing. 1078 00:56:13,767 --> 00:56:16,267 I like him. 1079 00:56:16,300 --> 00:56:18,467 But I sure hope Mr. cosmo didn't kill him. 1080 00:56:18,500 --> 00:56:21,300 Why does cosmo want to kill Derrick? 1081 00:56:21,333 --> 00:56:24,700 Because Derrick made me give Mr. cosmo back his drugs. 1082 00:56:24,733 --> 00:56:29,167 And he gave me his last $20 to take a taxicab home. 1083 00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:31,367 Derrick did that? 1084 00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:33,967 Yep, he's my only, and best friend. 1085 00:56:39,433 --> 00:56:41,767 I'm sorry, but... 1086 00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:43,467 Little boy, Derrick's in jail. 1087 00:56:58,767 --> 00:57:00,633 First of all... 1088 00:57:00,667 --> 00:57:02,733 I didn't stab nobody. 1089 00:57:02,767 --> 00:57:04,633 Homeboy just fell on my knife. 1090 00:57:04,667 --> 00:57:07,167 ...22 times. 1091 00:57:07,900 --> 00:57:10,067 ( All inmates: ) It's not your fault. 1092 00:57:10,100 --> 00:57:11,700 Yes, it is. 1093 00:57:14,367 --> 00:57:17,700 Man: Hey, that boy's high. Put him in solitary. 1094 00:57:20,133 --> 00:57:23,800 Hey, it's the father and son guards. 1095 00:57:23,833 --> 00:57:25,800 How y'all doin'? 1096 00:57:25,833 --> 00:57:28,133 You guys have the same barber? 1097 00:57:28,167 --> 00:57:30,333 Derrick: Raheem does my face. 1098 00:57:33,067 --> 00:57:34,933 One time, they put alcohol in the water... 1099 00:57:34,967 --> 00:57:39,167 It stung, whoo! I was like, "ouch". 1100 00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:41,400 Hello, this shit is stingin'. Ow, you're hurting me. 1101 00:57:43,133 --> 00:57:45,733 Hey stupid, I told you not to smoke too much. 1102 00:57:46,900 --> 00:57:50,067 Master! 1103 00:57:51,133 --> 00:57:52,833 Master! 1104 00:58:01,433 --> 00:58:03,567 You're not the master. Who are you? 1105 00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:05,733 The man next to "the master". 1106 00:58:05,767 --> 00:58:07,567 Who wishes to speak to the master? 1107 00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:09,500 It is I, Derrick Clemons. 1108 00:58:09,533 --> 00:58:11,033 The master won't speak to you. 1109 00:58:11,067 --> 00:58:12,067 Why not? 1110 00:58:12,100 --> 00:58:14,333 Because you ain't down. 1111 00:58:14,367 --> 00:58:18,400 I am down. How down do I gotta be? 1112 00:58:18,433 --> 00:58:20,867 I'm down on my ass, I'm down on my luck... 1113 00:58:20,900 --> 00:58:22,900 Got kicked out the house today... 1114 00:58:22,933 --> 00:58:24,600 My uncle fired my ass... 1115 00:58:24,633 --> 00:58:26,767 Enough! You must pass the worthiness test... 1116 00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:28,367 To speak to the master. 1117 00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:31,233 ( Thunderclap ) 1118 00:58:36,267 --> 00:58:38,600 What's up, y'all? 1119 00:58:38,633 --> 00:58:41,200 Now, for the first question. 1120 00:58:41,233 --> 00:58:43,167 What was the most popular Afro pick? 1121 00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:46,333 That supposed to stump me? The fist. 1122 00:58:46,367 --> 00:58:48,233 What was the second? 1123 00:58:48,267 --> 00:58:50,233 The black-green-red convertible one. 1124 00:58:50,267 --> 00:58:52,767 It folded up so you wouldn't poke no holes in your pocket. 1125 00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:57,233 It's the end of the month, you ain't got no money. What are you gonna eat? 1126 00:58:57,267 --> 00:59:00,867 Give me a little baloney, fry that up real quick, right? 1127 00:59:00,900 --> 00:59:02,933 But you gotta pop the bubble before you flip... 1128 00:59:02,967 --> 00:59:04,967 Otherwise it won't cook right on each side. 1129 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,800 Put that with a little ketchup, and some wonder bread... That's good as a mug. 1130 00:59:07,833 --> 00:59:09,367 Made y'all hungry with that, didn't I? 1131 00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:11,533 All right, smart ass. 1132 00:59:11,567 --> 00:59:14,433 What was the most dramatic scene on television? 1133 00:59:16,267 --> 00:59:18,133 ...when penny got burned with the iron? 1134 00:59:18,167 --> 00:59:21,133 - Let's get down to business. - That might have been a tie... 1135 00:59:21,167 --> 00:59:22,900 It was real sad when James died, remember? 1136 00:59:22,933 --> 00:59:26,367 "Damn-damn-damn!" 1137 00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:28,600 All right, it's time to play. 1138 00:59:28,633 --> 00:59:30,500 The sister you most want to sleep with. 1139 00:59:30,533 --> 00:59:32,233 You 'bout to lose this game... 1140 00:59:32,267 --> 00:59:34,600 Halle Berry... Or Jada? 1141 00:59:34,633 --> 00:59:35,400 Halle. 1142 00:59:35,433 --> 00:59:37,133 - Jada or Janet? - Janet. 1143 00:59:37,167 --> 00:59:38,933 Janet or Toni Braxton? 1144 00:59:38,967 --> 00:59:40,467 That's a tough one, but I gotta go with Toni. 1145 00:59:40,500 --> 00:59:43,033 Wise choice. 1146 00:59:43,067 --> 00:59:45,200 Toni, or the girls in TLC? 1147 00:59:45,233 --> 00:59:46,933 Motherfucker, are you the devil? 1148 00:59:46,967 --> 00:59:48,433 Choose! 1149 00:59:48,467 --> 00:59:50,133 Toni. 1150 00:59:50,167 --> 00:59:50,900 Judges... 1151 00:59:53,067 --> 00:59:54,867 ( Thunder ) 1152 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:05,367 You are worthy. 1153 01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:06,433 Whoop! 1154 01:00:06,467 --> 01:00:07,867 You may speak to the master. 1155 01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:12,167 ( "Atomic dog" plays ) 1156 01:00:20,867 --> 01:00:23,033 How can I help you, my young--? 1157 01:00:23,067 --> 01:00:25,033 You're a white boy. 1158 01:00:25,067 --> 01:00:28,567 No, no, master, I'm just light skinded. 1159 01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:32,167 All my life I've been tryin' so hard to do the right thing. 1160 01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:35,733 All those around me are saying that I'm good for nothing. 1161 01:00:35,767 --> 01:00:36,933 They're all trippin'. 1162 01:00:36,967 --> 01:00:39,533 I'm beginning to think... 1163 01:00:39,567 --> 01:00:40,867 Maybe they're right, you know? 1164 01:00:40,900 --> 01:00:43,600 Has my life been for naught? 1165 01:00:43,633 --> 01:00:45,333 Can you... 1166 01:00:45,367 --> 01:00:47,300 Can you give me the answer, master? 1167 01:00:47,333 --> 01:00:49,433 No, I can't give you the answer. 1168 01:00:49,467 --> 01:00:52,000 But, I can guide you with the funk. 1169 01:00:52,033 --> 01:00:54,033 Word? 1170 01:00:54,933 --> 01:00:56,933 ( Shuddering ) 1171 01:00:59,100 --> 01:01:00,933 M-master...! 1172 01:01:01,967 --> 01:01:03,333 Dance. 1173 01:01:03,367 --> 01:01:06,467 * you've got to learn to help yourself * 1174 01:01:06,500 --> 01:01:08,500 * learn to roll, y'all 1175 01:01:08,533 --> 01:01:12,100 * don't need no one else 1176 01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:14,633 * shit happens 1177 01:01:14,667 --> 01:01:17,200 * get up... W-e-f-u-n-k * 1178 01:01:19,033 --> 01:01:20,867 * shit happens get up, try it again * 1179 01:01:20,900 --> 01:01:25,333 * we want some funk, we gotta have some funk * 1180 01:01:25,367 --> 01:01:27,533 * we gotta have some funk 1181 01:01:27,567 --> 01:01:29,900 * we gotta have some funk 1182 01:01:29,933 --> 01:01:32,167 * we want some funk 1183 01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:34,633 * we gotta have some funk 1184 01:01:34,667 --> 01:01:37,133 * we gotta have some funk 1185 01:01:37,167 --> 01:01:39,200 * we gotta have the funk 1186 01:01:39,233 --> 01:01:39,700 * we 1187 01:01:39,733 --> 01:01:40,300 * want 1188 01:01:40,333 --> 01:01:41,000 * some 1189 01:01:41,033 --> 01:01:42,033 * funk 1190 01:01:42,067 --> 01:01:44,167 we gotta have some funk * 1191 01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:46,333 * we gotta have some funk 1192 01:01:46,367 --> 01:01:48,500 * we gotta have some funk 1193 01:01:48,533 --> 01:01:51,200 * we want the funk 1194 01:01:51,233 --> 01:01:53,567 * we gotta have the funk 1195 01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:55,933 * we gotta have the funk 1196 01:01:55,967 --> 01:01:58,300 * we gotta have the funk 1197 01:01:59,867 --> 01:02:02,167 * funk 'em, just to see the look on their face * 1198 01:02:02,200 --> 01:02:04,400 * funk 'em, just to see the look on their face * 1199 01:02:04,433 --> 01:02:05,600 * funk 'em 1200 01:02:05,633 --> 01:02:06,900 * just to see the look on their face * 1201 01:02:06,933 --> 01:02:09,067 * funk 'em, just to see the look on their face * 1202 01:02:09,100 --> 01:02:11,267 * oh, funk 'em, just to see the look on their face * 1203 01:02:11,300 --> 01:02:13,567 * funk 'em just to see the look on their face * 1204 01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:14,867 * you, too 1205 01:02:14,900 --> 01:02:16,933 oh, man! Get me down. 1206 01:02:16,967 --> 01:02:18,367 Cop: Out. 1207 01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:20,133 Shut up, stupid. We're being released. 1208 01:02:23,700 --> 01:02:25,967 Get your ass outta here. 1209 01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,933 Hey, you--! That's the guy... 1210 01:02:27,967 --> 01:02:29,533 Get your ass outta here! 1211 01:02:29,567 --> 01:02:31,133 You'll be back. 1212 01:02:31,167 --> 01:02:32,900 I'll keep it warm for ya. 1213 01:02:36,567 --> 01:02:38,333 - I was framed! - Shut up! 1214 01:02:38,367 --> 01:02:40,067 - Framed! - Shut up! 1215 01:02:40,100 --> 01:02:41,600 It's your fault, man. This is not right. 1216 01:02:41,633 --> 01:02:44,067 How are you doin'? Got another one, huh? 1217 01:02:44,100 --> 01:02:45,467 ..Pig. 1218 01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:47,233 I smell bacon, don't you? 1219 01:02:47,267 --> 01:02:49,433 Officer, good day. Good work. 1220 01:02:52,967 --> 01:02:55,133 Anything weird happen to you in there? 1221 01:02:55,167 --> 01:02:58,533 No, but you got high, and they threw you in solitary. 1222 01:02:58,567 --> 01:03:00,300 No, no, I mean, like... 1223 01:03:00,333 --> 01:03:02,433 Anybody try to, like, "visit" you? 1224 01:03:04,500 --> 01:03:06,567 What do you mean? 1225 01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:09,033 Like, did somebody try to fuck me in the ass? No, man. 1226 01:03:09,067 --> 01:03:11,767 - Why are you so sensitive? - Why are you touching me? 1227 01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:14,333 You play too much-- quit, quit! 1228 01:03:14,367 --> 01:03:16,233 What happened in that basement? 1229 01:03:16,267 --> 01:03:17,933 Damn, you play too much! 1230 01:03:17,967 --> 01:03:20,267 I probably got two strikes-- get the hell off me! 1231 01:03:20,300 --> 01:03:21,833 Be proud of it. You got a nice one. 1232 01:03:21,867 --> 01:03:23,700 Get the hell off me. 1233 01:03:23,733 --> 01:03:25,767 Yo, ain't that your car? 1234 01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,900 Let's pull this Liz-ick quick. Help me get it back. 1235 01:03:28,933 --> 01:03:30,867 Are you still high? 1236 01:03:30,900 --> 01:03:33,733 You must be high. I'm through fuckin' with you. 1237 01:03:33,767 --> 01:03:35,867 You've been getting me in trouble all day over this milk money. 1238 01:03:35,900 --> 01:03:38,000 I'm done. 1239 01:03:38,033 --> 01:03:40,833 Chris, come on, man. I seen the light, dog. 1240 01:03:40,867 --> 01:03:44,200 I'm a changed man, all right? 1241 01:03:44,233 --> 01:03:45,800 Some things happened in there. 1242 01:03:45,833 --> 01:03:48,200 Uh-huh... 1243 01:03:48,233 --> 01:03:50,467 I understand for the first time in my life what I gotta do. 1244 01:03:50,500 --> 01:03:53,000 - It's clear, dog. - It's "clear"? 1245 01:03:53,033 --> 01:03:54,833 Good--later. 1246 01:03:54,867 --> 01:03:57,333 You ain't gonna help me? 1247 01:03:57,367 --> 01:03:59,233 Fine, be like that. 1248 01:04:03,833 --> 01:04:06,300 "Be aatch"! 1249 01:04:06,333 --> 01:04:07,567 Yes. 1250 01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:15,100 ( Horn blows ) 1251 01:04:23,933 --> 01:04:28,200 Twenty-five, fifty, seventy-five... 1252 01:04:28,233 --> 01:04:29,867 Gotcha! 1253 01:04:29,900 --> 01:04:32,400 ( Barking ) 1254 01:04:32,433 --> 01:04:33,633 Stupid-ass... 1255 01:04:33,667 --> 01:04:35,600 ( Scratch ) 1256 01:04:39,700 --> 01:04:42,367 Stupid-ass white boy. Plain old fuckin' stupid. 1257 01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:49,433 ( Muttering ) 1258 01:05:01,233 --> 01:05:02,967 - Kick in the money. - Break yourself right now. 1259 01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,500 Come on, hurry up. 1260 01:05:05,533 --> 01:05:07,667 What's up, man? What happened to you? 1261 01:05:07,700 --> 01:05:08,967 Long-ass story... 1262 01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:10,933 Jamol? 1263 01:05:10,967 --> 01:05:12,900 What's up, dog? 1264 01:05:12,933 --> 01:05:15,333 Your sister still work at "drug dealer beepers"? 1265 01:05:15,367 --> 01:05:18,333 No, homie. Who is "jamol"? 1266 01:05:18,367 --> 01:05:21,167 "Who is jamol"? 1267 01:05:21,200 --> 01:05:22,867 Derrick: Last time I checked... 1268 01:05:22,900 --> 01:05:27,467 I knew a "jamol Johnson" at 1911 H south Crenshaw. 1269 01:05:27,500 --> 01:05:28,900 ( Gunfire ) 1270 01:05:40,800 --> 01:05:43,000 That's a new hat, jamol! 1271 01:05:50,633 --> 01:05:53,067 Jamol...? 1272 01:05:55,633 --> 01:05:58,267 ( Dramatic weeping ) 1273 01:06:01,433 --> 01:06:03,567 Damn! 1274 01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:15,233 Damn! 1275 01:06:18,400 --> 01:06:21,333 I'm gonna miss y'all, man. 1276 01:06:21,367 --> 01:06:23,967 Willie... 1277 01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,467 Nobody could hit the switches like your ass. 1278 01:06:28,933 --> 01:06:31,300 Whiskers... 1279 01:06:31,333 --> 01:06:33,000 You a bad motherfucker. 1280 01:06:39,033 --> 01:06:41,133 I'm not dead yet, motherfucker! 1281 01:06:45,967 --> 01:06:47,733 ( Sirens ) 1282 01:06:54,100 --> 01:06:56,000 Fuck! 1283 01:07:00,567 --> 01:07:03,467 I am done playing with the white man. 1284 01:07:03,500 --> 01:07:04,733 Yeah! 1285 01:07:04,767 --> 01:07:06,533 Violence is all that the white man understands. 1286 01:07:06,567 --> 01:07:07,700 Yes! 1287 01:07:07,733 --> 01:07:10,000 So, arm yourselves, brothers. 1288 01:07:17,500 --> 01:07:19,133 It is time for us now 1289 01:07:19,167 --> 01:07:21,233 to seek out whitey where he works... 1290 01:07:21,267 --> 01:07:23,200 And where he lives. Seek him out! 1291 01:07:23,233 --> 01:07:25,400 We have to go to the ski lodges... 1292 01:07:25,433 --> 01:07:27,000 The tanning salons... 1293 01:07:27,033 --> 01:07:29,600 Coffeehouses... And kill whitey. 1294 01:07:29,633 --> 01:07:30,900 Kill whitey! Whitey must die! 1295 01:07:34,800 --> 01:07:36,600 Die, die, die, die! 1296 01:07:45,433 --> 01:07:48,100 You mother fuckers! 1297 01:07:55,300 --> 01:07:58,733 How dare y'all have the "kill whitey" meeting... 1298 01:07:58,767 --> 01:08:01,100 And not invite me, y'all? 1299 01:08:01,133 --> 01:08:03,333 Huh? 1300 01:08:03,367 --> 01:08:06,000 How y'all think that makes me feel as a person? 1301 01:08:07,800 --> 01:08:09,333 Yeah, look away, Jesse... 1302 01:08:09,367 --> 01:08:11,167 Look your ass away, look away. 1303 01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:13,167 Who's the only one who supported your ass 1304 01:08:13,200 --> 01:08:15,367 when you wanted to open that paint your own pottery business? 1305 01:08:15,400 --> 01:08:16,533 - ...you did. - What? 1306 01:08:16,567 --> 01:08:18,233 - You did...! - "You did." 1307 01:08:20,100 --> 01:08:22,033 I did. 1308 01:08:22,067 --> 01:08:24,733 T.K., turn the damn gun the right way, man... 1309 01:08:24,767 --> 01:08:27,167 You gonna blow your homies up. 1310 01:08:28,367 --> 01:08:32,000 Who helped you carry the pies to the church picnic? 1311 01:08:32,033 --> 01:08:34,233 Oh, you definitely did. 1312 01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:37,200 'Twan, gene... 1313 01:08:37,233 --> 01:08:39,567 I helped you motherfuckers get in here. 1314 01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:42,533 Talkin' about, "help me out, I need your vote, Derrick." 1315 01:08:42,567 --> 01:08:46,200 You lucky I don't tell them what's really goin' on with y'all. 1316 01:08:46,233 --> 01:08:49,567 Whose idea was it to have a snack table? 1317 01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:50,867 Yours. 1318 01:08:50,900 --> 01:08:52,267 I came up with that idea. 1319 01:08:52,300 --> 01:08:56,033 Whose idea was it to have the "kill whitey" bingo night? 1320 01:08:56,067 --> 01:08:57,433 Yours. 1321 01:08:57,467 --> 01:08:59,533 How do y'all think that makes me feel as a person? 1322 01:09:01,133 --> 01:09:03,367 Shame on all y'all! 1323 01:09:07,100 --> 01:09:08,733 I need to borrow this. Is that cool? 1324 01:09:08,767 --> 01:09:10,700 Anything. 1325 01:09:10,733 --> 01:09:13,100 Would you do me one last solid? 1326 01:09:13,133 --> 01:09:14,833 Sure, man. 1327 01:09:14,867 --> 01:09:17,867 ( Meeting resumes ) Kill whitey! Whitey must die! 1328 01:09:35,733 --> 01:09:40,967 Mom and dad are always busy with their work... 1329 01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:43,867 Never have time for me. 1330 01:09:43,900 --> 01:09:46,333 Well, mom and dad... 1331 01:09:46,367 --> 01:09:48,400 Hope you can make it to the funeral. 1332 01:09:48,433 --> 01:09:50,267 Hey man...! 1333 01:09:50,300 --> 01:09:51,967 What the hell you doin'?! 1334 01:09:53,567 --> 01:09:55,400 ( Bang ) 1335 01:09:56,333 --> 01:09:58,233 I said, what the hell you doin'? 1336 01:09:58,267 --> 01:10:00,133 I was gonna kill myself. 1337 01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:03,833 Why, "Urk"? 1338 01:10:03,867 --> 01:10:05,867 Nobody ever has time for me. 1339 01:10:05,900 --> 01:10:08,833 My dad won't even hang out with me. 1340 01:10:08,867 --> 01:10:12,533 Only on Sundays. If he has time. 1341 01:10:12,567 --> 01:10:16,400 I wish I could see my daddies. 1342 01:10:16,433 --> 01:10:18,067 Even for one Sunday. 1343 01:10:18,100 --> 01:10:21,333 - Why can't you? - 'Cause they're dead, "Urk". 1344 01:10:21,367 --> 01:10:23,300 My first daddy blew up. 1345 01:10:23,333 --> 01:10:25,300 How? 1346 01:10:25,333 --> 01:10:28,100 He was building a bomb in Ireland... 1347 01:10:28,133 --> 01:10:30,300 To blow up the Russians, 'cause they stole the land 1348 01:10:30,333 --> 01:10:32,467 a long time ago, and wouldn't give it back. 1349 01:10:32,500 --> 01:10:34,700 I thought that was England. 1350 01:10:34,733 --> 01:10:36,300 Where? 1351 01:10:36,333 --> 01:10:39,800 ( Irish accent ) Why do ye have to do that here? 1352 01:10:39,833 --> 01:10:43,167 Where should I do it? Me fancy lab in Buckingham? 1353 01:10:43,200 --> 01:10:46,400 Don't smart off, horse's ass. Ye know what I mean. 1354 01:10:46,433 --> 01:10:47,900 Shh, woman! 1355 01:10:47,933 --> 01:10:50,133 Ireland needs to be free o' them English bastards. 1356 01:10:50,167 --> 01:10:53,067 And this is the only t'ing they'll understand. 1357 01:10:53,100 --> 01:10:55,267 Derrick: My childhood in northern Ireland 1358 01:10:55,300 --> 01:10:57,900 was carefree and fun. 1359 01:10:57,933 --> 01:10:59,833 I had plenty of toys to play with. 1360 01:10:59,867 --> 01:11:03,367 But my favorite thing to do was to fuck with the pigs. 1361 01:11:05,367 --> 01:11:07,733 I hated "the bacon" even then. 1362 01:11:11,233 --> 01:11:14,067 - The lad stole your helmet. - Ye little bastard, come back! 1363 01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:25,300 Derrick: After I stole the helmet from "the man"... 1364 01:11:25,333 --> 01:11:29,133 I couldn't wait to get it home to my dad. 1365 01:11:29,167 --> 01:11:31,167 He always liked surprises. 1366 01:11:35,433 --> 01:11:37,100 Freeze! 1367 01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:45,433 My bad. 1368 01:11:45,467 --> 01:11:47,267 I'm going to America. 1369 01:11:47,300 --> 01:11:50,133 My next daddy was a kindly old sea captain. 1370 01:11:50,167 --> 01:11:51,800 - Shut up! - I'm going to America! 1371 01:11:51,833 --> 01:11:54,433 We had a great time on the way to America. 1372 01:11:54,467 --> 01:11:57,767 We would sing and dance, play games... 1373 01:11:57,800 --> 01:12:00,233 It was lots of fun. 1374 01:12:02,433 --> 01:12:04,833 He used to give me toys and presents. 1375 01:12:05,667 --> 01:12:08,800 One day, he was shooting fish for dinner. 1376 01:12:10,367 --> 01:12:12,700 I slipped and fell off the boat. 1377 01:12:13,967 --> 01:12:16,800 You know what, "Urk"? I never found out what he caught. 1378 01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:19,333 But my next daddy was a fisherman. 1379 01:12:19,367 --> 01:12:21,133 And he caught me! 1380 01:12:21,167 --> 01:12:24,600 And he took me to live in Compton, where we are now. 1381 01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:29,300 Red snapper. 1382 01:12:29,333 --> 01:12:32,833 It's hard, sometimes, you know? 1383 01:12:32,867 --> 01:12:35,500 The answers... 1384 01:12:35,533 --> 01:12:38,333 They ain't always gonna be right in front of you, "G". 1385 01:12:38,367 --> 01:12:41,467 Sometimes, you gotta look around a little bit... 1386 01:12:41,500 --> 01:12:43,567 And find things, you know? 1387 01:12:43,600 --> 01:12:47,267 I learned a lot today, that it's about the struggle. 1388 01:12:47,300 --> 01:12:52,433 And I learned that I gotta do what I say I'm gonna do... 1389 01:12:52,467 --> 01:12:55,300 And that I gotta be a man. 1390 01:12:55,333 --> 01:12:58,333 That's what's important to me. 1391 01:12:58,367 --> 01:13:00,233 You're learning things, too. 1392 01:13:04,600 --> 01:13:08,733 Derrick, I ran away. 1393 01:13:08,767 --> 01:13:10,733 I wanna go home. 1394 01:13:10,767 --> 01:13:12,467 How long have you been a runaway? 1395 01:13:12,500 --> 01:13:14,500 Two weeks. 1396 01:13:18,700 --> 01:13:20,367 Okay... 1397 01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:23,700 Okay, let-- hey, now, come on... 1398 01:13:23,733 --> 01:13:25,600 Get off me... Hey... 1399 01:13:25,633 --> 01:13:27,500 You'll get me arrested. 1400 01:13:28,933 --> 01:13:30,567 I'm gonna call the police... 1401 01:13:30,600 --> 01:13:33,500 I want you to stay right here until they come, okay? 1402 01:13:35,067 --> 01:13:37,367 It's all good, "G". 1403 01:13:41,233 --> 01:13:42,533 Charles: Derrick? 1404 01:13:42,567 --> 01:13:44,167 It's all good. 1405 01:13:44,200 --> 01:13:46,333 You know it is, "G". 1406 01:13:46,367 --> 01:13:47,733 All good. 1407 01:13:54,033 --> 01:13:55,967 Yeah, 911? 1408 01:13:56,000 --> 01:13:59,133 I want to report a runaway kid. 1409 01:13:59,167 --> 01:14:02,000 He's over at 43rd place, the park. 1410 01:14:02,033 --> 01:14:05,900 My name? Oh, no... You don't need my name. 1411 01:14:06,967 --> 01:14:09,133 I know how that works... 1412 01:14:09,167 --> 01:14:11,800 Try to be a good citizen, and give you information... 1413 01:14:11,833 --> 01:14:13,367 I leave my name... 1414 01:14:13,400 --> 01:14:16,833 Next thing you know, brother's a suspect. 1415 01:14:16,867 --> 01:14:20,600 Oh, yeah? What about the time you told me I won super bowl tickets... 1416 01:14:20,633 --> 01:14:23,533 And I got nothing but handcuffs and fruit punch? 1417 01:14:24,500 --> 01:14:26,767 Okay, let's play it like that. 1418 01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:28,500 Why don't you just... Say goodbye? 1419 01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:33,900 Yo, dog! Stay there, don't-- 1420 01:14:40,233 --> 01:14:41,967 that's the guy who stole my camera! 1421 01:14:42,000 --> 01:14:44,800 Hey, y'all, what's happenin'? 1422 01:14:44,833 --> 01:14:48,500 Nice cars, nice tint. 1423 01:14:48,533 --> 01:14:51,367 My homeboy does tint for free. He'll--oh, shit... 1424 01:15:00,400 --> 01:15:02,167 Ann! 1425 01:15:02,200 --> 01:15:03,867 - Look at you. - Hello, Mrs. Clemons. 1426 01:15:03,900 --> 01:15:06,467 What are you doing here? 1427 01:15:06,500 --> 01:15:08,500 I came to talk to you about Derrick. 1428 01:15:08,533 --> 01:15:12,000 Has he been acting kinda strange lately? 1429 01:15:12,033 --> 01:15:14,133 What kinda "strange"? 1430 01:15:14,167 --> 01:15:17,400 I don't know, like... Responsible? 1431 01:15:17,433 --> 01:15:21,900 Girl, come in, we need to talk. You know I put him out. 1432 01:15:21,933 --> 01:15:24,200 - No... - Um-hmm! 1433 01:15:25,467 --> 01:15:26,900 ( Kung-fu sound effects ) 1434 01:15:30,100 --> 01:15:31,267 Yo, yo... 1435 01:15:31,300 --> 01:15:33,400 Back the fuck up. I got this. 1436 01:15:37,067 --> 01:15:38,900 Just make sure you kick his ass! 1437 01:15:39,533 --> 01:15:41,933 You lucky, motherfucker. 1438 01:15:45,067 --> 01:15:46,633 I'm sorry, dog. 1439 01:15:46,667 --> 01:15:49,000 We was gonna go back for you, we tried... 1440 01:15:49,033 --> 01:15:51,500 ( Whimpering ) 1441 01:15:53,133 --> 01:15:55,333 It's okay... 1442 01:15:55,367 --> 01:15:57,933 Just gimme a hug. 1443 01:15:57,967 --> 01:16:01,167 Let's just bond. I wanna bond with you. 1444 01:16:01,200 --> 01:16:04,000 It's okay. I'm here for you. 1445 01:16:04,033 --> 01:16:06,200 Hug me, hug me. 1446 01:16:06,233 --> 01:16:10,900 Hurry up, sweetie. Scurry over to my s-s-scooter. 1447 01:16:10,933 --> 01:16:13,967 Just stop it. 1448 01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:16,833 I'll be with you in s-seventeen s-seconds. 1449 01:16:16,867 --> 01:16:19,433 Cool your engines, Jesus. 1450 01:16:19,467 --> 01:16:21,833 One...Two... 1451 01:16:23,400 --> 01:16:25,833 Thank you, Derrick. You're so sweet. 1452 01:16:29,733 --> 01:16:32,100 Coming, sweetie. 1453 01:16:32,133 --> 01:16:35,267 Let's go to San Diego for the Streisand concert. 1454 01:16:35,300 --> 01:16:37,300 Bye, Derrick. 1455 01:16:40,300 --> 01:16:42,767 ( Chanting ) Kill whitey, kill whitey... 1456 01:16:44,533 --> 01:16:46,533 Kill whitey! 1457 01:16:55,033 --> 01:16:56,800 Mama: Derrick, is that you? 1458 01:16:56,833 --> 01:16:58,833 Yes, mama. 1459 01:17:01,100 --> 01:17:03,333 - Are you all right? - Yes, mama. 1460 01:17:03,367 --> 01:17:04,900 - Are you sure? - Oh, yeah, mama. 1461 01:17:04,933 --> 01:17:07,400 What happened to you? 1462 01:17:07,433 --> 01:17:08,867 You know, same old-same old... 1463 01:17:08,900 --> 01:17:11,033 Just another day in the hood. 1464 01:17:11,067 --> 01:17:13,433 I got something for you. Would you like to see it ? 1465 01:17:13,467 --> 01:17:16,067 M-m-milk! Milk, mama! 1466 01:17:16,100 --> 01:17:18,600 M-I-... 1467 01:17:18,633 --> 01:17:19,633 Milk! 1468 01:17:19,667 --> 01:17:21,233 Right there! 1469 01:17:21,267 --> 01:17:23,433 You said I couldn't do it... But I did it, didn't I, mama? 1470 01:17:23,467 --> 01:17:27,033 ( Singing ) I won the bet with my ma-ma... 1471 01:17:27,067 --> 01:17:30,600 Oh, Derrick... Stop it. 1472 01:17:30,633 --> 01:17:33,400 Humph... This is whole milk. 1473 01:17:33,433 --> 01:17:36,400 You know we don't drink nothing but nonfat. 1474 01:17:38,100 --> 01:17:40,100 Mama, hold up. 1475 01:17:42,533 --> 01:17:43,900 You ain't gonna kick me out, are you? 1476 01:17:43,933 --> 01:17:45,933 I should. 1477 01:17:45,967 --> 01:17:48,267 But your uncle called and told me 1478 01:17:48,300 --> 01:17:50,967 about the brave thing you did with that gangster. 1479 01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:55,333 And Ann told me what you did for that little boy. 1480 01:17:55,367 --> 01:17:56,867 Ann called? 1481 01:17:56,900 --> 01:17:59,600 No, she's here. I'm having her over for dinner. 1482 01:17:59,633 --> 01:18:01,333 Ann...? 1483 01:18:04,433 --> 01:18:05,867 Hello. 1484 01:18:06,367 --> 01:18:08,033 Ann... 1485 01:18:08,067 --> 01:18:11,033 Girl, I didn't think I was ever gonna see you again. 1486 01:18:11,067 --> 01:18:12,133 Shh. 1487 01:18:12,167 --> 01:18:14,633 I've been thinking, Derrick. 1488 01:18:14,667 --> 01:18:16,833 And... 1489 01:18:16,867 --> 01:18:18,733 If you don't mind. Maybe... 1490 01:18:18,767 --> 01:18:21,733 You and I can... Try to work things out? 1491 01:18:21,767 --> 01:18:24,700 Oh, my God. That's all I ever wanted. 1492 01:18:24,733 --> 01:18:27,467 That's why I've been hanging out in the bushes and stalking you and stuff. 1493 01:18:27,500 --> 01:18:30,533 I'm gonna make you so happy, I'm gonna take you places... 1494 01:18:30,567 --> 01:18:31,933 I'll buy you things... 1495 01:18:31,967 --> 01:18:34,033 I'll buy you the rest of that sweater... 1496 01:18:35,400 --> 01:18:37,233 Just shut up and kiss me. 1497 01:18:39,833 --> 01:18:42,033 Who let all these flies in here? 1498 01:18:42,067 --> 01:18:44,433 ( Constant chatter ) 1499 01:18:52,733 --> 01:18:54,467 Mama: Derrick, say grace. 1500 01:18:56,500 --> 01:18:58,533 Shut up, Tiki. 1501 01:18:58,567 --> 01:19:01,400 Lord, thank you for this food we are about to eat... 1502 01:19:01,433 --> 01:19:03,933 Thank you that we can all be together as a family. 1503 01:19:03,967 --> 01:19:06,000 God bless daddy, and my other daddy-- 1504 01:19:06,033 --> 01:19:07,000 mama: Amen. 1505 01:19:07,033 --> 01:19:08,733 But, mama... I wasn't even done. 1506 01:19:08,767 --> 01:19:10,400 ( Bickering resumes ) 1507 01:19:15,033 --> 01:19:17,033 Derrick? 1508 01:19:17,067 --> 01:19:18,900 That's the little boy that you helped today. 1509 01:19:18,933 --> 01:19:21,133 ( TV ) After several weeks of being a runaway... 1510 01:19:21,167 --> 01:19:22,933 Young Charles is safe with his family. 1511 01:19:22,967 --> 01:19:25,333 Tiki, turn that up. I want to hear what they say. 1512 01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:33,467 Now, this was a well-publicized case... 1513 01:19:33,500 --> 01:19:36,800 Partly because of the reward, $500,000. 1514 01:19:36,833 --> 01:19:38,100 ( All gasp ) 1515 01:19:40,933 --> 01:19:43,400 There was a man who called the 911 operator... 1516 01:19:43,433 --> 01:19:45,000 But he didn't leave his name. 1517 01:19:45,033 --> 01:19:47,567 According to my son he helped him a great deal. 1518 01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:49,967 That's why I'm trying to locate him... 1519 01:19:50,000 --> 01:19:51,400 So that I can see that he gets his reward. 1520 01:19:51,433 --> 01:19:52,633 ( More gasping ) 1521 01:19:54,967 --> 01:19:56,933 Can you tell more about the man so that we can find him? 1522 01:19:56,967 --> 01:19:58,467 We're gonna be rich! 1523 01:19:58,500 --> 01:20:00,467 He called me, "little gay Urkel"... 1524 01:20:00,500 --> 01:20:02,800 He do look like a little gay Urkel, though. 1525 01:20:02,833 --> 01:20:05,000 He told me everything would be all right... 1526 01:20:05,033 --> 01:20:05,967 And it was all good. 1527 01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:08,967 Aw, baby. I'm so proud of you. 1528 01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:10,900 Can you tell us what this man looked like? 1529 01:20:10,933 --> 01:20:12,033 We're gonna be rich! 1530 01:20:12,067 --> 01:20:13,867 I can't see very well... 1531 01:20:13,900 --> 01:20:17,933 But I think he had a hat on. And his name was Derrick. 1532 01:20:17,967 --> 01:20:19,900 ( Yelps and screams ) 1533 01:20:23,333 --> 01:20:25,200 And... 1534 01:20:26,033 --> 01:20:27,000 And... 1535 01:20:27,033 --> 01:20:28,067 And... 1536 01:20:28,100 --> 01:20:29,900 And he was a black guy! 1537 01:20:33,067 --> 01:20:35,100 That's why it's over! 1538 01:20:35,133 --> 01:20:37,533 ( Yelling ) 1539 01:20:41,767 --> 01:20:46,733 Derrick: Every day begins and ends the exact same way for me. 1540 01:20:46,767 --> 01:20:48,500 Only, this day was a little bit better... 1541 01:20:48,533 --> 01:20:51,200 'Cause I found Charles' daddy and told him the whole story. 1542 01:20:51,233 --> 01:20:53,067 He decided I wasn't bright enough 1543 01:20:53,100 --> 01:20:55,733 to think up a story that crazy. 1544 01:20:55,767 --> 01:20:57,667 Now, I've got the money 1545 01:20:57,700 --> 01:21:00,633 and opened up my paint your own pottery business all over the hood. 1546 01:21:00,667 --> 01:21:02,700 And you know what? It's all good. 1547 01:21:23,033 --> 01:21:25,033 God-damn, ho'. 1548 01:21:25,067 --> 01:21:27,900 It's about time you got here, motherfucker. 1549 01:21:27,933 --> 01:21:30,033 Next time your mouth opens, 1550 01:21:30,067 --> 01:21:31,833 I want you quoting a price, or sucking a dick. 1551 01:22:04,933 --> 01:22:06,900 Damn, you look like you been in a car wreck. 1552 01:22:06,933 --> 01:22:08,467 I can't be sellin' this pie lookin' like that. 1553 01:22:08,500 --> 01:22:11,067 You couldn't sell crack to an ass. 1554 01:22:11,100 --> 01:22:12,600 Watch out now. Look at you... 1555 01:22:12,633 --> 01:22:14,633 You're supposed to be in cars, not chasing them. 1556 01:22:35,500 --> 01:22:37,667 This is how you tell a real pimp. 1557 01:22:37,700 --> 01:22:39,433 A real pimp, when he's talkin' always moves his hands... 1558 01:22:39,467 --> 01:22:40,867 So he can show his jewelry. 1559 01:22:40,900 --> 01:22:42,867 'Cause ho's like shiny shit. 1560 01:22:42,900 --> 01:22:45,700 Talkin' to one there, and one there... 1561 01:22:45,733 --> 01:22:47,367 A fake pimp, though... 1562 01:22:47,400 --> 01:22:49,400 You can tell a fake pimp. 1563 01:22:49,433 --> 01:22:51,833 A fake pimp's always laughing at shit that ain't funny. You know... 1564 01:22:54,767 --> 01:22:55,767 Whoo! 1565 01:23:53,200 --> 01:23:54,300 This is bullshit, okay? 1566 01:23:54,333 --> 01:23:56,167 Ho's ain't ho's like they used to be. 1567 01:23:56,200 --> 01:23:57,400 Ho's used to be the shit! 1568 01:23:57,433 --> 01:23:59,633 I remember ho's used to stay in bed so long... 1569 01:23:59,667 --> 01:24:01,867 You had to teach them how to walk again. 1570 01:24:37,367 --> 01:24:39,567 A real pimp never buys his ho' no watch. 1571 01:24:39,600 --> 01:24:41,100 'Cause the ho' don't know what time it is. 1572 01:24:41,133 --> 01:24:42,300 It's time to make some money, ho'! 1573 01:26:09,267 --> 01:26:10,300 Ha, ha, ha... 1574 01:26:10,333 --> 01:26:12,000 That's all. 104426