Original subtitles

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love boat"]

Theme song: Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you, and love, life's sweetest reward,

let it flow.

It floats back to you.

Love boat, soon we'll be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

Bon bini, ladies and gentlemen,

which means welcome on the island of curucao, or korsou,

as it's pronounced by the inhabitants.

The city of willemstad with its neatly shaped houses

and orange tile roofs await you, so

enjoy your day on this picturesque island

in the netherland antilles.

Launches will be leaving from the port side of the ship

to the shopping center of curucao.

This should help you find your way around curucao.

Oh, thank you.

Do you have any suggestions of what I might see?

Well, um, actually, I haven't been there in a long time.

I was planning on reacquainting myself with the sites.

Alone?

Yes.

Do you want some company?

Well, isn't your wife going?

Well, she was, yeah, but she isn't.

I mean, she's not feel too well.

Anyway, I'm sure she wouldn't mind.

Well, ok, if you don't mind waiting while I change.

I wasn't really excited about spending the day alone anyway.

Great, then we can both be alone, together.

Ok.

Excuse me, but if you're waiting for the tour

into curucao, they're meeting in the terrace room.

Oh, thanks, but i'm going it alone today.

I was just waiting for my husband to bring

me some maps of curucao.

He's late as usual.

Haha.

Have you tried nagging?

It's probably why he's late.

Haha.

Ok.

You know, Isaac, what were you and that lovely lady

talking about?

Her late husband.

So young to be a widow.

Hello.

Ace Evans, ship's photographer.

May I help you?

Oh, thanks.

I was just waiting for some maps of curucao.

Oh, you don't need a map.

Why don't you let me be your guide?

Oh, do you know curucao?

No, but I have a map.

Why not?

All right.

Dad, I am so sorry.

This is the second and last time you miss the ship, vickie.

We'll talk about it later alone.

Right now, I'm happy you're both back safely.

Thank you, burl.

I can't tell you how worried we were.

From what I've been told, Helen, Curtis

really took charge of things.

I did, mom.

Well, now I'm taking charge.

We're going back to the ship.

You two are cleaning up, and we're

going to see curucao together.

Let's go.

Oh, I was worried sick about you,

but I'm very proud of you, Curtis.

Thank you.

I have something to tell you that will

make you even prouder.

I've asked Vicki to marry me.

Ace?

Yeah.

This day's turning out better than I expected.

Great.

I really feel alive.

Well, life is for the living.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I, I shouldn't have said that.

Oh, no.

It doesn't matter.

I was just thinking about my husband.

Well, I'm sure wherever he is, he'd be

glad you're enjoying yourself.

And wherever he is, I hope he's happy, but not too happy.

Adam, look.

Isn't that Diane?

Yeah, and with ace.

But I thought she and Jim were each coming into town alone.

I guess Jim didn't tell ace.

Hi, Mrs. Rolly.

Why, Vicki, how nice to see you back.

Oh, thank you.

It's nice to be back, especially after a hot shower and a sauna.

Wait a minute.

Aren't you going into curucao?

I thought you'd be sightseeing with the general and the kids.

Oh, well, I decided to take a day off for myself.

Uh, children can be a little tiring.

Well, you should know, with 15 grandchildren.

Uh, yes.

I should know.

You know, just between you and me, I mean,

the menudo kids are terrific, but I bet the general

would rather be with you.

I'm afraid that's one bet you'd lose.

I wonder why Mrs. Rolly didn't come with us today.

Well, I think she had other plans.

I think she misses her grandchildren.

Yeah, you're right.

I think she does.

All right, say cheese.

That's too fatty.

How about yogurt?

Haha.

That's great.

Hey, you want me to take a picture of you guys together?

Sure would you?

All right, yeah.

Yeah, we'd like to.

Look to your right.

Come on, closer together.

Come on, put your arms out on her.

I always said children should be seen and not heard, huh.

Kiss her.

Kiss her.

Kiss her.

Come on, kiss her.

Kiss her.

All right.

Oh, thank you very much.

Well, you ready for a little more sightseeing?

Sure.

No, no.

I will pay for the drinks.

No, don't be silly.

My treat.

Oh.

My husband left me plenty of money.

See, almost $50.

Um, finish you drink.

I'll go and freshen up.

I'll meet you by the street edge.

Oh, ok. I'll see you there.

Ok.

Thank you.

Hello, ace.

Oh, hi, Judy.

How are you? - Oh.

Oh, Jim.

This is ace, the ship's photographer.

- Hi, Jim. - Hey.

You alone. You want to join us?

Oh, no, thanks.

My date's waiting.

Oh, who's the lucky lady?

Oh, just a poor lonely widow, and I mean poor.

Careful, that kind can be dangerous.

But worth it.

The only thing she is more than poor is pretty.

She as pretty as mine?

Well, I'd say you'd be a winner with either one.

See you around.

Yeah, bye-bye.

Ladies and gentlemen, we hope you

enjoyed your day in curucao.

The royal Princess is now ready to set

sail for the Panama canal.

Hi, general.

Hi.

I see menudo's given you a few minutes to yourself.

Did you have an enjoyable time in curucao?

Yes, it's very pleasant.

Thank you.

Ah, good.

I found Mrs. Rolly inside.

I'm sure she'll be out in a minute.

Oh, well, it's a bit tiring, all that sightseeing.

I think I'll take a nap before dinner.

Excuse me.

Maybe he didn't hear what you said.

Dad, since it was already dark and we didn't know our way

around, Curtis thought it would be safer

to spend the night on the beach rather than to try

to walk all the way into town.

You do believe me, don't you, dad?

Of course I do.

I just think you should have acted

in a more responsible way.

It was up to you to get back to the ship on time.

I know.

And I promise, nothing like that will ever happen again.

I know it won't.

Discussion closed forever.

Dad.

Hmm?

Were you worried?

Oh.

Dad, there is one other thing I have to tell you.

Merrill?

Oh, there you are, you two.

Oh, Helen.

Where's Curtis?

Oh, he turned in early.

I think he was tired after all his land travel.

I'm sure, uh, Vicki has told you about my romantic son

asking her to marry him.

Marry him?

That's what I was gonna tell you, dad.

But I didn't know if he was serious.

Oh, he thinks he's quite serious.

Thinks?

Curtis looks at life in a very simple way.

He's, uh, more direct and naive than most boys.

That's part of what makes him so attractive.

Yes it is.

It's also part of his condition.

You see, Vicki, Curtis was brain damaged when he was born.

He's slightly retarded, but with very

hard work and special schools and therapy,

he's made great strides.

He certainly has.

I'm sorry, Vicki, but I just thought you ought to know.

How did you all enjoy your day apart?

No, no, I mean in port.

I had a wonderful time.

Me too.

Sometimes being by yourself makes

you appreciate what you have.

I know exactly how you feel.

Oh, hi, Diane.

Great day, wasn't it.

Oh, hi, uh, king.

Ace.

Ace.

It's nice to see you again, Jim.

You too, Trudy.

Judy.

Trudy?

King?

And I gave her the best hours of my whole life.

So you were alone, huh?

I'm not blind,

so how come you needed a seeing eye blonde?

Ok, so I had company, and I had a very good time.

Well, I had an even better time.

Good.

Why don't we just keep it that way?

I think you two have got the right idea.

Adam, do you think we made divorce a little too

attractive to them?

Good morning, passengers.

Today is the day you've been waiting for,

the Panama canal, which links the Atlantic

and pacific oceans.

On November 18th, 1903, Panama and the United States

under president Theodore Roosevelt

signed the Panama canal treaty.

The canal is 50 miles long, and it will take us

eight hours to go through it.

So get your cameras.

You don't want to miss this incredible site.

Isn't this exciting, Curtis?

Yes.

I'm glad I'm seeing it with you.

It makes it even more special.

Curtis, I've been thinking about what you asked me.

I was afraid to bring it up.

Uh, I wasn't sure whether you had made your mind up or not.

Curtis, I care for you a great deal.

But I just think it's too soon to rush

into things like marriage.

But I love you.

I know, and it means a lot to me that you do.

But I just think that we both have a lot of experiencing--

mother.

My mother told you about me, didn't she?

That has nothing to do with it.

Yes, it does.

It's been like this my whole life.

Kids were always running away from me, making fun of me.

Curtis, I'm not running away from you.

I still want to see you.

Maybe in time, something could develop.

No, nothing will develop, because I'm slow.

Simple.

What does she say, retarded?

Hey, you guys, que pasa.

Where's general creston?

Mrs. Rolly, right?

You ok?

I don't know.

General creston and Mrs. rolly really like each other,

but all of the sudden, they just stopped talking.

Ah, adults.

Sometimes they're hard to figure out, huh.

You're not kidding.

I just wish we could get them together.

Well, maybe your group should sing them

an old fashioned love song.

Wrong, my dear, but almost right.

Maybe what he needs is a new love song, hmm?

Vaminos.

I've got an idea.

Adam and Nancy must be really sick

of another boogie at the canal.

Did, uh, did Adam say what was the matter?

No, but they must be feeling bad enough,

so see if you can act civil in front of them.

Don't worry.

If I'm civil to you, it'll be really acting.

Come in.

Nancy, Adam.

What happened?

I don't know.

I think it's a reaction to something Nancy

insisted we eat in curucao.

He thinks.

Some great doctor.

Get me some more lotion.

What are you, helpless?

Get it yourself.

Hey, what's the matter with you two?

I thought you were supposed to be happily divorced.

I thought so too, but then I got over my amnesia.

The only thing she didn't forget

was how to spend my money.

Well, listen to El cheapo.

You never bought me one thing.

Go away now.

I'll buy you anything you like.

You know, all those years we were married,

we only went away one time.

I only took you with me then so I wouldn't

have to kiss you goodbye.

We'll be running along.

When I divorced you, I should have taken

you for every penny you had. - How could you?

You took it when we were married.

Do you think they fell for it?

I hope that we convinced them, that, uh,

divorced couples do not always get

along as well as they thought.

Well, we gave it our best shot.

Why don't you come here and kiss me, you crazy man?

I've got a better idea.

Why don't I just connect the dots on your face

and see if I win a prize?

Anne, hi.

Hi.

Oh, isn't this a marvelous treat?

Oh, this whole trip's been a treat for me.

And I made a couple of significant discoveries.

Which are?

I found someone who's very important in my personal life.

I love you.

Oh, I love you too, Larry.

And I found someone who could be

important in my business life.

Oh?

So you found the person you want for the job?

Absolutely.

Well, I can't make it official until I

clear it with my partners.

I'm on my way to make the call right now.

I'll see you later.

Sorry.

Oh, you don't look very happy.

What's the matter?

That louse Larry's gonna give the job to Andy.

Well, that's just what you wanted.

You should feel great.

Yeah, but I fell in love with the guy.

Hey, that's great.

Why is everything always great with you two?

It isn't great?

Sounded pretty great to me.

We are now entering the miraflores locks, ladies

and gentlemen, the final phase of the Panama canal,

the gateway to the pacific.

Merrill, I was wrong.

I shouldn't have interfered.

Curtis and Vicki could have taken care of the situation

on their own.

You're a mother.

You don't want your son to be hurt.

I want him to be independent.

On the other hand, I'm frightened to let

him go it alone.

Letting go and trusting your child to live his own life,

that's one of the most important things a parent has to do.

You do it so well.

Hmm.

For me, it's, it's a big struggle

knowing Curtis's limitations.

We all have limitations.

We've learned to live through ours.

Curtis will learn to live through his.

But it's been so hard for him.

Helen, Curtis is doing just fine.

Everything you wanted and worked for has happened.

Now it's time for you to get on with your own life.

I think I've forgotten how.

Let me try to remind you.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Andy.

Judy said, you were, uh looking for me.

You're a hard man to find.

Look, I'll, I'll get right to the point.

I know why a lot of companies are anxious to hire you.

You've got a lot on the ball.

Thanks.

I've decided to hire somebody else.

Oh.

Well, who's the lucky guy?

I am.

She's gonna make real contributions to my company.

She?

Yeah, I've decided to hire Anne Lester.

Anne?

Yeah, I think I was wrong about her,

and I think she deserves a chance to prove it.

She got all the qualifications, the background,

intelligence, integrity.

You were fine up until integrity.

Anne.

It's unbelievable.

Incredible.

You had me.

I was completely buffaloed.

Well, congratulations.

I got to hand it to you.

You've got spunk.

You gambled, and you won yourself a job.

But stay out of the rest of my life.

Good morning and welcome to another

beautiful, warm, sunny day.

For those of you who partook of the midnight buffet,

you can atone at our aerobics class on the sun deck.

And up.

To the side.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Now let's jog.

Oh, I can't get over it, Adam and Nancy sniping

each other like that yesterday.

Sniping?

It was like a full scale war.

There they were, needing each other, and all they could do

was needle each other.

They seemed to get along well.

[Inaudible] When thing's get tough.

Yeah, well, anybody could be happy

when everything's going right.

Like the short time me and you have spent together?

They didn't even make it through the cruise.

Well, there's no commitment in divorce.

There is in marriage, total.

Think we're losing ours?

Not if I have anything to say about it.

Well, say something, damn it.

Hold it, you two.

That exercise doesn't come til later.

Well, I'm sorry things didn't work out between you and Larry,

romantically, anyway.

Well, I have no one to blame but myself.

Wish there was something I could do to help.

Curtis, I know you're angry with me, and you're right.

I shouldn't have interfered.

I shouldn't have told Vicki.

It's probably better.

She would've just found out anyway.

Dropped me later instead of now.

Oh, now you're being unfair to Vicky.

I mean, I, I was wrong.

Now I think you're wrong.

Wrong?

Not to give Vicki a chance like I

didn't give you a chance.

You've been changing in front of my eyes, becoming a man.

I didn't see it.

You're not my little boy anymore.

I'll always be your little boy.

I'm just grown up now.

Are you sure this is gonna work, gopher?

Just as sure as I know my name is gopher Smith.

Your real name is burl.

Dinner at creston.

Hi, Ricky, gentlemen.

Anything the matter?

Nothing to do with my [inaudible]??

Oh, no, no, no.

Nothing like that at all.

General, uh, menudo needs your help.

Robby says you're fluent in Spanish,

and I have a song that needs to be translated into English

so they can sing it at the concert.

Muy bien.

Ayudo con gusto.

All right, fine.

I'll be glad to help.

Hmm.

Oh, seems like a love song.

It shouldn't be too difficult.

Uh, sir, why don't you do it on this blank piece of paper?

That way it will be easier for them to see it.

All right.

Let me see.

I miss the hours I shared with you, your happy smile

and lovely laugh.

Doesn't rhyme very well, does it?

Well, they never rhyme when you translate it.

Oh, I see.

Your happy smile.

One moment, please.

- Mrs. Rolly. - Yes?

Oh, I'm sorry to bother you so late,

but gopher asked me to deliver this.

He thought it might be important.

The general left it for you at the purser's desk.

General creston?

Right.

Oh.

Shall I wait for a reply?

Uh, no, thank you.

No reply.

Not yet, anyway.

Mind if I join you?

Of course not.

I was pretty rude the other day.

Everybody can get mad now and then.

Vicki, I know now that when something doesn't work out,

I can't blame it on a disability.

Curtis, you don't have to apologize for anything.

I want to.

I need to be responsible.

Curtis, you are a very responsible young man.

Hearing that from you makes me very happy.

You make me very happy.

I guess we had what they call a shipboard romance.

A memorable romance.

I just know I'm not ready for marriage.

I don't think I am either.

You'll always be very special to me, my first love.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to acapulco, Mexico's paradise

by the sea.

Enjoy windsurfing, parasailing, bargain

hunting and gourmet dining.

We're sure this will be a day to remember, so be in tempo.

[Interposing voices]

Yeah, ok.

Guys, what, now what do I hold onto here?

Hey, now, smile.

Smile.

Good.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Great!

Whoa!

Oh, that was fantastic.

Come on, hey, let's go do that again.

That was fantastic.

You guys have got to try this.

That was great.

That was great.

Oh, perfect.

Isn't this a coincidence?

I told Mrs. Rolly here I wanted to take her

to my favorite spot, and look who's here.

Yes, it's quite a coincidence.

Well, [inaudible],, I think I'm going to go in the town.

You want to join me?

You bet.

Say, Mrs. Rolly, would you mind keeping

general creston company?

Well, i--

thank you very much.

That was a very sweet gesture you made.

I beg your pardon?

I missed the hours I shared with you, your happy smile,

your lovely laugh.

Oh, that, that's nothing.

I enjoyed translating that song for the boys.

Translated?

When I got the note, I thought--

oh.

I am sorry.

How could I be so foolish to think that you

would write those words to me?

You mean that you thought I, i--

you know, if I weren't such a monumental stuffed shirt,

I would have written those words to you.

Forgive me.

Hi.

Hey, tiptons.

Hey, brickers.

Glad you're feeling better.

Ah, it's just the doctor's magic touch.

So, still america's happiest married couple?

Yeah, thanks to you two.

Still america's happiest divorced couple?

Yes, thanks to you.

Yeah, you saved our marriage.

We saw you two fighting in your state room

when we thought you'd be pulling together.

Made us realize what we have.

And you saved our divorce.

We did?

Sure.

You were just so happy when we first met you,

we thought about getting remarried.

And?

Well, we decided remarrying would ruin our happy divorce.

We have worked too hard on this divorce to throw

it away just like that.

Well, I guess marriage isn't for everyone.

Neither is divorce.

But Liz, why did you make up such a preposterous story?

Well it wasn't so much a lie as a wish.

I always wanted children and grandchildren,

so I gave them to myself.

Loving children so, I used to babysit for my neighbors

as a favor.

They didn't know it was a favor to me.

Those pictures in my wallet are all those youngsters.

Well, now you tell me.

When did they become your grandchildren?

Well, it happened one day in the market.

My wallet was lying open, and the clerk asked me

if they were my grandchildren.

And I said, yes.

I felt so happy and proud, and then people started

to look at me differently.

And they would ask me advice about their children.

And that's why you became the expert on this ship.

Well, I wasn't really hurting anyone, was I?

No.

You know, half my life is wrapped up in this old wallet.

If I ever tossed it overboard, I'd sink with it.

Do you know what you need, darling?

A life preserver, me.

Enjoy.

I'm sorry.

I didn't follow you here.

Judy suggested that--

Judy?

Yeah, well, she's the one who sent me here too.

No, please sit down.

Wouldn't want all Judy's hard work to go to waste.

Larry, I need to get something off my chest.

I knew I didn't get the job because I'm a woman,

and I thought the only way that I

could prove sex discrimination was to pose as a man.

Guess it was an extreme thing to do.

Yeah, to say the least.

All right, so long as we're baring our souls,

I guess I've always had a preconceived notion

that women just couldn't do the same job as men.

The minute you walked in in your skirt and your high heels,

you didn't have a chance.

Thanks for being honest.

Remember, Larry, when you said I could have the job

but we'd have to forget about the personal relationship?

Yeah.

You can keep the job.

Personally, I'd rather keep it personal.

I'm sorry.

You're just gonna have to settle for both.

To my equal opportunity employer.

Ladies and gentlemen, we hope you

enjoyed your day in acapulco.

I know you've enjoyed our show so far tonight.

[Applause]

And now, the royal Princess has a spectacular treat for you.

As a special favor to us on our maiden voyage,

we are proud to present those international young superstars

who are dedicating their song tonight to their two

special friends, general craston,

their chaperone, and Mrs. Elizabeth rolly,

their honorary grandmother.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, here they are,

the exciting menudo.

[Music - menudo, "like a cannonball"]

Menudo: (Singing) See the lightning cross the sky,

makes me wonder why can't I move that fast

to get you where I'm going.

I just can't wait to get to you, cause

girl you know just what to do.

So much love for you it's all but flowing.

I gave you a license to drive me up the wall.

I just can't shake this spell that your love leaves me under.

The way you weave your magic, your brown eyes say it all.

I look at you and feel the thunder.

Ooh, it hits me like a cannonball.

Like a cannonball.

Hits me like a cannonball.

Like a cannonball.

Hearts beat at the speed of sound.

That's why I'm so glad I found someone

who makes loving feel so right.

There's a detour up ahead.

I'll take another road instead.

Nothing's keeping me from you tonight.

I gave you a license to drive me up the wall.

I just can't shake this spell that your love leaves me under.

The way you weave your magic, your brown eyes say it all.

I look at you and feel the thunder.

Ooh, it hits me like a cannonball.

Like a cannonball.

Hits me like a cannonball.

Like a cannonball.

Hits me like a cannonball.

Like a cannonball.

Hits me like a cannonball.

Like a cannonball.

Hits me like a cannonball.

On deck, everyone.

Acapulco is sending us off with a bang.

Next stop, the port of Los Angeles.

Ladies and gentlemen, two of our young passengers

have fallen so madly in love, they

can't even wait to get back to Los Angeles to get married.

So join us on the aloha deck as these two

youngsters exchange their vows.

[Music - Richard Wagner, "bridal chorus"]

Would you like to get married again,

or would you like a burial at sea?

What's the difference?

Pay attention.

You're next.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

There's a rule in our company about married couples.

Only one member can work there.

Oh, don't worry.

You'll find another job.

We are gathered here to witness

these two lovely people being joined

together in holy matrimony.

Do you, Elizabeth rolly, take this man

to be your lawful wedded husband, to love

and Cherish til death do you part?

I do.

And do you, Thomas creston, take this woman

to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold

till death do you part?

Indeed I do, captain.

Indeed I do.

By the authority vested in me, I now

pronounce you husband and wife.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining

us on this incredible cruise.

I hope it will be as memorable to you as it will be to me.

Now, on behalf of myself and my crew,

I invite you to gather on the decks and witness the royal

welcome to the royal Princess as we enter Los Angeles harbor.

Come on, ace.

I got them all lined up.

This is one picture I really want,

the perfect souvenir of a memorable crew.

Ok, captain, but give me a minute.

You're right.

This is gonna be one great shot.

Yes.

Excuse me.

Well, you two got married so fast

I didn't have a chance to get your wedding gift.

Well, I could use a new wallet,

with lots of room for photos.

What for?

I don't have any grandchildren.

Who knows?

Maybe you two will start your own family someday.

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love boat"]