Original subtitles

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love boat theme"]

Theme song: Love exciting and new come

aboard we're expecting you and love life's sweetest reward let

it flow it floats back to you the love boat

soon we'll be making another run the love boat promises

something for everyone set a course for adventure

your mind on your new romance and love won't hurt anymore

it's an open smile on a friendly shore

it's love welcome aboard it's love

[theme ends]

All right.

Everybody look happy.

The captain keeps a scrapbook.

Oh, that's a beauty.

Great. - Thank you.

You'll get that to us as soon as possible?

Right, sir.

Thank you.

Don't move.

Ah!

This will make an incredible picture.

I know-- the lighting is perfect,

and if I tilt my head a little to the left,

the composition will be exactly right

to immortalize me on film.

What are you, a mind reader?

No.

My father was a photographer.

Ah.

That was the line he used to meet my mother.

[Laughs] Good line.

All right-- - ace!

Ace!

Don't forget-- the chef needs a picture

of his welcome aboard buffet before we

let the passengers loose on it. Ok?

Right.

You got it. Well--

- ace! - Yes?

You know that family that won the "most happy family" award?

Well, they've waited so long for you to take their picture,

they're yelling at one another.

All right.

I'll be there as soon as I'm through.

Now, miss-- well.

Looks like I'm free now.

[Clears throat]

Frank, this is such a big ship.

How will we ever find her?

Don't worry.

She's here.

Why don't you look around for her while I go check us in.

Ok.

It looks like you're looking for someone special.

Oh, yes, I am.

I'm looking for my daughter.

Sandy: Mom?

Sandy!

Glad I could help.

Sandy!

Oh, my baby!

Oh, it's been so long.

So long.

Sweetheart, why did you ever go--

oh, mom, please.

Not now.

Ok?

I'm sorry.

It's just that I've missed you so much.

I missed you, too.

Hi, Sandy.

Welcome home.

How about a kiss for you dear old step dad, huh?

I thought you said that frank was in Detroit on business,

mom?

He was.

But the trip got canceled.

Anyway, isn't this better?

Now our happy little family is back together again.

Happy little family.

Doc bricker: Hi.

Enjoy your cruise.

Vicki: Hi.

Doc bricker: Welcome. - Hi.

Welcome aboard.

Hi.

The name is devlin--

Arnold devlin.

Stubing-- Vicki stubing.

Uh, that makes me bricker--

Adam bricker.

Doctor-- medical backup.

That's very good.

Excuse me, Mr. Devlin--

is that briefcase handcuffed to your wrist?

That's my job, miss.

You arrest briefcases?

I-- I am an international courier.

Really?

What's in there?

I'm sorry.

But for security reasons, I can't say.

Not even if you pulled out all my fingernails.

I don't think we want to know that badly.

Sometimes it's gold.

Sometimes it's diamonds.

Sometimes it's gold and diamonds.

Did someone just say "gold and diamonds?"

I didn't hear anyone say that.

Me neither.

Must be my ears playing tricks on me.

Would you happen to have a light?

A light?

Certainly.

You ever thought about giving up cigarettes?

You ever thought of carrying your attache

case like everyone else?

Wait-- my name's Arnold.

Arnold devlin. It was nice to meet you.

Bye!

[Horn blaring]

[Theme music]

Bartender: This is really a good picture of the ship.

Let me see.

Oh, yeah.

Look at this-- you made him look 10 years

younger and 20 pounds thinner.

Well, you see-- in the right hands, the camera does lie.

I wish I could take pictures like this.

But when I get behind the camera, I just get intimidated.

It's all in the approach.

Especially with someone of the opposite sex.

And that is definitely someone of the opposite sex.

She looks unapproachable, right?

Right.

Oh yeah.

I'd say your chances there are between slim and none.

Nay.

This is my key to a new relationship.

Look and learn.

Excuse me, miss.

But the light is just right, and the composition is perfect.

I've got to immortalize you on film.

Well, I thought you'd never ask.

You'll be my "Mona Lisa."

Plain old Lisa.

Lisa Baxter.

Coincidence made in heaven.

But you are hardly plain, and I doubt you will ever look old.

Ashley Covington Evans--

ace, for short.

Excuse me, ace.

Dad wants to see you on the bridge deck with your camera.

Thank you, Vicki.

Mm-hmm.

I hope you give rain checks.

For you, even sun checks-- in case it doesn't rain.

Bye.

[Sighs]

Ace, wait a minute.

Congratulations, ace.

Remind me-- if I'm ever wearing a hat again,

I must tip it to you. - Right.

Do you think that approach would work for me with a man?

Sure.

Uh, but I wouldn't tell him he's going to be your Mona Lisa.

I bet you've never even seen the Mona Lisa.

No.

But I've read the book.

You look so--

so good, honey.

You're so grown-up.

Well, I am a year older.

Having a job and being on my own helped, too.

Is that why you didn't come back?

Because you wanted to be independent?

It's because of frank, isn't it?

Is that the reason why you didn't come back?

What makes you say that?

Well, sometimes a stepfather is hard to accept.

Especially since you loved your father so much.

Yeah.

Dad was something special.

Frank could be too, if you'd just give him a chance.

He must have some good qualities.

After all, I married him.

Mom, i-- I really don't--

sweetheart, try to get to know him.

Please?

I'll try.

Ok.

[Jazzy music]

Arnold (voiceover): I made my way onto the lido deck.

The life of an international courier

is lonely and dangerous.

I had to be on my guard every minute.

Absolutely no one could be trusted.

At least I didn't have to worry about anyone

carrying concealed weapons.

Wow.

Hello, there.

My name is Ellen.

Do you remember me?

(Film noir accent) Oh, hi there, sweetheart.

(In normal voice) I mean--

hi, there.

Are you all alone?

Well, not exactly.

Do you have that handcuffed to your wrist for business,

or do you just misplace things a lot?

Business.

I'm an international courier.

[Gasps] An international courier!

[Shushing] I'd rather people didn't know.

Oh.

Ok.

My lips are sealed.

The only way this leaves my side

is if someone saws my arm off.

Does that happen often?

Only twice.

And then you run out of arms.

I like you, Arnold.

What does your evening look like?

A lot like my day, but darker.

Well, would you like to have dinner with me?

Say around 8:00 o'clock?

Oh, come on-- I won't bite you.

Well, I'm trained to withstand pain.

Ok.

Great.

Then I'll see you at 8:00.

Arnold (voiceover): Why was I falling for this doll?

It was one of those questions you can't answer,

like "how did the ocean fall overboard?"

[Theme music]

[Music fades]

Hi.

Well-- the ubiquitous cameraman.

"Ubiquitous?"

Let me guess-- high school English teacher from Chicago.

No.

A crossword puzzle fan from des moines.

Ok.

Where do you want me?

On my lap.

But let's take the picture first, huh?

Ok.

Here we go.

Uh-- yeah.

Yeah, that's-- that's about it, right there.

Ok.

Yeah--

ace, do you really think that's the best angle?

Oh-- sorry.

Just watching a professional.

Watching is fine.

But these are not talkies.

They're silent films.

[Clears throat] Yeah--

you know, I think we could get a much

better shot from the stairway.

Kim!

You know, she might be right.

Ok.

Ok.

We'll do the old stairway shot.

Maybe up just a little higher.

[Clears throat] Ok.

All right. Yeah.

A big smile.

That's it-- ah!

Are you all right?

[Groans] Yeah.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Hey, you're pretty lucky.

I don't even think you broke your camera.

Ah!

Oh-- we'd better get you to a doctor.

He may want to take an X-ray of that foot.

Yeah.

And Kim can tell him where to stand when he takes it.

What are you doing in here?

I, uh, take it you're not pleased to see me?

Who let you in?

I told the steward I was your father.

Stepfather.

We have to talk.

Don't touch me!

Ok, ok.

Calm down.

Now, look-- coming on this cruise wasn't my idea.

But I'm here.

Now, for your mother's sake, can you try to act

a little friendly toward me?

Like you acted friendly toward me last year?

[Chuckles] Well, i'm an affectionate man.

You-- you just misunderstood.

No, I understood perfectly.

And so will my mother when I tell her about it.

What's there to tell?

You went looking for it.

You're disgusting.

[Tense music]

I should have told her the minute it happened.

But you didn't.

And if you tell her now, I'll deny it.

I'll swear that her sexpot little daughter came on to me,

and I had to fight her off.

Get out of here!

Ok.

But remember-- before you start playing any truth games--

your mother loves me.

And you wouldn't want to make her unhappy, now, would you?

[Theme music]

[Music fades]

Ace: I really appreciate you guys stopping by to see me.

But I am fine--

honest.

I told them we could save the leg,

but they wanted to see for themselves.

I'm glad it was only a sprain.

Me too.

Ace, I'm sorry.

It's all my fault.

Gopher: You got that right.

It's ok, gopher.

Listen-- I'll be up and dancing in no time.

I know you're dedicated, ace.

But if you need more time, take it.

Oh, captain--

captain's orders.

[Knock on door]

Don't get up.

Surprise.

Just a little dinner for the ace who was shot down.

Good.

The patient can use some nourishment.

Mm.

And I got a feeling this is his favorite dish.

It's time for us to go.

[Sighs] Thank you.

Lisa: I can't stay long.

I'll be back later, so we can spend

the whole evening together.

I'm going to do everything I can to make you feel better--

like having your own personal nurse.

[Romantic music]

Bye.

[Blows kiss]

That's what I call one heck of a hospitalization plan.

Gopher (on pa): Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

It's Japanese night in the coral dining room--

Sushi, sashimi, tempura, sake.

And don't worry-- if we don't have your favorite,

we'll send out for it.

[Japanese music]

Now, let me see if I've got this straight.

After you paid off the damages that you caused on your job

at the crystal shop, and selling vacuum

cleaners didn't work out, you sold used cars for two weeks?

Right.

My boss was a neat guy.

When he fired me, he gave me a great buy on a '68 Chevy.

I still love that car.

I think of it every morning when I'm running for the bus.

And then?

Well, then this.

I figured that the qualities that made me a bad used car

salesman-- honesty, integrity, straightforwardness--

would make me a great courier.

I've got my fingers crossed for you, Arnold.

Thanks.

I really want this job.

I think it's right for me.

I'm trustworthy, i'm reliable, and I have wrists

that just don't come off.

Let's toast to your new career.

Oh, dear-- we need some more sake.

Well, we certainly do.

Uh, waiter-- [Glasses clattering] Uh,

waiter?

We could use another bottle of sake.

But this time, make it red.

You know, it's too bad about ace's ankle.

How'd it happen?

Just the way you might expect--

he fell for a girl.

Well, who's gonna fill in for him, sir, while he's laid up?

I don't know if that will be necessary.

He should only take a short time.

Sir, I could cover for ace.

I mean, it's the least I could do for him.

And we worked together my first day on the ship.

Remember?

Sure do.

We almost had a lawsuit.

Kim: I was a little nervous.

Besides-- those passengers looked

like they were happily married.

They were happily married, Kim--

to other people.

Captain?

Hm?

I know I can do this.

Please, sir-- I owe it to ace.

Ok, Kim.

You're acting photographer.

Oh, thank you!

Oh, I just love a captain that can make a "snap" decision.

Have you noticed the other passengers staring at me?

[Scoffs] You must be imagining things.

No, no.

It's true.

They're wondering how I wound up with the two most

beautiful women on this ship.

Well, that's pretty obvious.

It's your sheer animal magnetism.

Maybe I should try to control it a little.

Yes.

I'll tell you something else.

I think anyone would find it tough to figure out which

one of you two is the mother.

I think the salt air is getting to him.

Oh, no-- I agree with frank, mom.

You and I could pass for sisters.

Well, if that's true, there's a good reason.

My husband keeps me young.

Oh, thank you.

[Frank laughing]

[Melancholy music]

[Theme music]

[Lounge music]

Kim, are you sure you know what you're doing?

I used to have lots of photography

books in his dark room.

Oh, that's a good start.

Yes.

And tomorrow, I might get to read one.

Excuse me, Kim.

Can I borrow this for just a second?

I think I have a date with destiny.

Wait a minute, gopher--

you know less about photography than she does.

I don't need to know anything about photography.

As ace says, it's all in the approach.

All right?

Watch.

Oh, wow-- this light, here, is just right.

And this composition, here, is perfect.

And I would really love to immortalize you on film.

Ok?

Well, i-- I don't know.

Well, no-- listen. Please don't be shy.

All right? I know what I'm doing.

All right?

Oh-- oh, wow.

Your legs are great.

Listen, do you think that you could maybe just inch

your dress up a little bit, so I could take

a picture of those great legs?

You know, a little cheesecake?

Thank you, very much.

Thank you, very much.

My husband doesn't like cheesecake.

Ok.

Uh, well, then I'll just go see the chef,

and see if I can get you a piece of blueberry pie.

Nautilus.

Good.

Nice to see you.

Now-- which one of you two lovely ladies

is going to dance with me?

Oh, I don't feel like it right now, frank.

Maybe Sandy would like--

no.

I'm tired.

How's the family reunion?

Oh, just fine, Judy.

Can you imagine a good looking guy like me

can't find a dance partner?

Unless you're interested.

Is he that bad a dancer?

Why don't you find out for yourself?

Can you believe this?

My own wife throwing me at other women?

Don't talk about me while I'm gone.

I am the luckiest woman in the world.

Are you and frank really that happy?

I was talking about you.

It's so good to have my daughter back again.

It feels good to me, too, mom.

You know, if I were a little younger--

maybe, uh, two weeks younger--

I could really go for you.

You flatter me, sir.

You think i'm kidding, don't you?

Well, I hope so.

I had the impression you were a faithful husband.

Oh, I am that.

And a lot more.

I'd like to tell you all about it.

But in a more private place.

How about meeting me later?

Hm?

How about no?

Now, will you excuse me, please?

[Sighs] Let's see, here--

a little music.

[Spanish guitar]

[Knock on door]

Come in.

Hi.

Ace: Hi.

How are you feeling?

Oh-- [chuckles] Much better, now

that my night nurse is here.

What do you prescribe?

I thought a massage might do, for starters.

I can't wait for the finishers.

Oh.

[Groans]

Oh, I just love to rub silk.

I just love to have my silk rubbed.

[Knock on door]

Acey boy!

Hi, ace!

Hi, ace!

Doctor's orders.

We're here to keep our injured buddy company.

Look at this guy-- he put on his silk pajamas just for us.

Oh, wow.

Look, ace-- we got books, games, candy,

flowers-- all of this for you.

But I'm afraid we can't stay very long.

Oh, hey-- it's the thought that counts.

I mean, even if you guys could stay only one minute--

even 30 seconds--

I'd appreciate it.

Oh, we can stay longer than that.

Gopher: Yeah.

We're going to take turns so one of us will always be here.

Yeah.

Uh, where do you want us to put the chess game?

On the bed.

I won't be using it for anything else.

Great.

Good idea, ace.

Good idea.

So, how's the old foot?

[Guys chattering]

Arnold, where did you learn to kiss like that?

Well, I had this job once--

never mind.

I don't think I want to know.

Arnold (voiceover): I was falling for this dame hook,

line, and sinker.

Ow!

Arnold (voiceover): And those sinkers hurt.

Your briefcase.

Sorry.

Arnold, I don't know if you feel the same way,

but I really think we have a lot in common.

Yeah.

The difference in our heights.

We're both not redheads--

look.

Let's go down to my cabin.

I can slip into something a little more comfortable,

while you slip out of that briefcase.

You mean--

that's right, Arnold.

We need some rules, here.

Now, if we're going to continue this--

and I'd really love to, Arnold--

you're going to have to check your baggage.

You know I won't do that, Ellen.

Then guess what else you won't be doing.

You'd let this come between us?

When hasn't it?

But it's not just my job--

it's my integrity.

Well, I hope your integrity keeps you warm tonight.

You're ruining my life.

I'd throw you overboard-- if it weren't for one thing.

I can't swim.

Thank you for meeting me, mom.

I really needed to talk to you.

Oh, it's good to be needed again.

What's on your mind?

Well, I really don't know where to start in telling you--

well, there you are, you two.

I'm getting lonely.

Is this only girl talk, or can a man listen in?

Frank, would you mind if I spend a few more

minutes alone with Sandy?

I don't mind-- as soon as we give her this.

I almost forgot.

Sweetheart, we wanted to give you this

so that you would know how happy we are to be with you again.

Sandy: Mother, it's beautiful!

Thank you so much.

It's beautiful.

Really.

The watch is also from frank.

Yeah.

I deserve a kiss, too.

Hm?

Go on, Sandy.

I'm going to my cabin now.

Goodnight, mother.

Something is really bothering her.

I've got to find out what it is.

[Ominous music]

[Theme music]

Judy (on pa): For you early risers,

there is a continental breakfast on the lido deck.

For you late sleepers, a breakfast buffet will be

served on the starlight deck.

You know, I have the feeling that I'm eating alone.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I think you should stop worrying about Sandy,

and let her solve her own problems.

Without any help from momma.

But it's just not like her.

You two haven't had words, have you?

No.

Why?

I just keep thinking about her attitude toward you.

It's normal to be a little resentful of a new stepfather,

but she has such animosity, such hostility.

I know.

I don't understand it, either.

I've always tried to be nice to her.

Judy.

Hi, Irene.

Frank.

Hi.

I must say, you look as pretty in the morning

as you do at night.

I guess that's something that just goes with naturally

beautiful women, hm?

Have you seen Sandy this morning?

Well, yes.

We had exercise class together.

Maybe she went back to bed.

I hope she's all right.

Oh, I'm sure she is.

But if I do see her, I'll tell her you're looking for her.

Thanks.

Bye-bye.

What a lovely girl.

Yeah.

I like that type.

I, uh-- I brought this on the off chance you'd accept it.

[Sighs] Well, um--

i-- I wrote a speech, on the off chance you'd listen to it.

I'm really sorry.

I guess I just brought down the curtain a little

early last night.

Well, there's still time to catch a matinee,

and perhaps a few curtain calls.

In fact, why don't you take me all the way to South America?

What?

Well, we could run away with whatever's in that briefcase.

I mean, there could be a million dollars in there.

A tax-free million.

Just think-- Brazil.

A man, a woman.

Sun, sand--

and blood hounds and wanted posters.

I suppose.

Well, we could still spend a day together in manzanilla.

I'd love to.

But we have to be back by 9:00 tonight.

A gentleman is coming by to pick up the briefcase.

Ok.

Well, what time is it now?

It's, uh--

I'm no dummy.

I moved the watch to the other hand.

It's 9:30.

Well, great-- that gives us about

12 hours to spend together.

Come on.

Let's make the most of it.

Ok!

[Theme music]

Judy (on pa): Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to sunny manzanilla-- one of Mexico's

delightful surprises.

From it's endless unspoiled beaches to it's modern hotels

with white domes, minarets and archways that call back

centuries of moorish architectural tradition,

you'll find every moment fulfilling and exciting.

Enjoy it all.

At the buzzer-- three, two, one!

No wonder I was a swimmer.

[Knock on door]

Uh-- (pained voice) It's open.

[Ace groaning]

Hello, ace.

Ace: Oh, hi, captain.

Goph.

How's the old battle extremity?

Uh, it's coming along.

Why?

Well, Kim has replaced you temporarily.

And I'm afraid her work leaves a bit to be desired.

Kim is doing my job?

Captain, I think I can go back to work.

No, ace.

Not until you're completely healed.

Or maybe sooner.

Take care, ace.

We'll see you again.

Ok, cap.

See you, goph.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi, Lisa.

Listen.

I--

listen up later, ace.

I'm going into town to buy something very special

to wear for when I come visit my patient tonight.

Oh.

[Romantic music]

See you later.

See you later.

I should go back to work.

But first, there is tonight!

[Exclaims]

Sandy?

Hi, Judy.

Are you ok?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

No.

I'm not fine.

I wish I wasn't an only child.

I could really use a big sister right now.

Well, I'm up for adoption.

It's my stepfather.

You don't like him much, do you?

I hate him.

I despise him.

Those are strong emotions.

Well, last summer, just before I left home, he--

oh, never mind.

Hey-- you talk to your big sister, remember?

Well, late one night, he came into my bedroom, and he tried--

you poor kid.

Hey.

So-- when am I going to see what you bought in manzanilla?

- Later. - [Groans]

Unless you think I should change into it right here.

[Door opens]

Oh.

Hi.

Take a look at these and tell me what you think, ace.

Well-- looks like you were experimenting

with light and shadows.

But you're supposed to be taking pictures of people, Kim.

I did!

Look-- here's somebody.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a, uh-- that's a definite human being.

Who is that?

Gopher?

Close.

It-- it's Judy.

Well, they're both crew members.

Yeah.

Kim: Maybe you could look at a few more of these for me

and give me some suggestions.

A few?

I think I'll go back to my cabin and change.

What about this one?

[Theme music]

[Music fades]

Judy.

Hi.

How are you doing?

Why don't you come over and join me?

I'm gazing at the moon.

I've already seen it.

Thank you.

You know, I have the very distinct feeling

that you're trying to avoid me.

If I were you, I would trust that feeling.

I'm glad we had this time to spend together, mom.

Frank wanted to try his luck at the casino.

Oh, no.

What is it?

Come on.

We're grown-ups.

We don't have to play games.

Mr. Patton!

I am an officer of this ship.

And if there's one more incident,

I will request the captain prefer charges against you.

Now, do you understand?

Mom, I never meant for you to find out this way.

[Sighs] So that's what you were trying to warn me about.

Ellen: We've locked the door.

And we're all alone.

There's nobody under the bed.

So it's, um-- safe to take it off now.

Well, I suppose I could take it

off for two or three minutes.

Or maybe four minutes.

A year.

They could shove food under our door!

What am I saying?

I can't.

But on the other hand, nobody likes a fanatic.

But my integrity.

How could I face myself?

Wouldn't you rather face me?

I'm sorry you did that, Arnold.

Wha-- what do you mean, "you're sorry?"

I'm an inspector for the courier company.

They sent me to see if you could be trusted.

And the Mexican client?

Senor Juan Miguel De Joachim Ortega

Sanchez De castellato III?

He doesn't exist.

And there's nothing in that briefcase.

The only thing you were protecting,

Arnold, was your job.

[Sighs] Took me all day to memorize that name.

Well, I hope there's a promotion in this for you.

Arnold, please--

no, no, no.

You deserve it.

It's not often you see a woman who

is willing to-- to sacrifice so much for her work.

I'm sorry.

(Voiceover) Of all the cruise ships in all the world,

she had to walk into mine.

Shut up.

Hi.

Have fun tonight?

I missed you.

I didn't do too great at the casino.

What's wrong?

What happened?

How could you do a thing like that?

Sandy and I were--

hold it.

Wait.

Wait just a second.

Whatever she told you is a lie.

Sandy is telling you lies.

I never laid a hand on your daughter.

What?

All right.

I'll tell you.

I'll tell you exactly what happened last summer.

Your so-called "innocent daughter" came on to me.

You-- you think I wanted to touch a kid?

I tried to fight her off, but--

stop!

Just stop it.

It wasn't my fault, Irene.

You-- you were out playing cards.

I had a couple of drinks.

I went to bed.

And she came into my bedroom with hardly any clothes

on at all, and-- and threw herself at me!

You're lying.

I'm not!

I know you're lying!

Besides-- Sandy never mentioned anything about that.

What?

I was about to tell you that I saw you trying

to force yourself on Judy.

By the way-- the casino is closed in port.

And since we're still in port, you'll

have time to pack your things and get off the ship.

I never want to see you again.

I don't want a shot, doc.

I hate shots.

Really, I'm feeling much better.

Let me just get up and walk, and I'll show you.

No, ace. No.

Don't try to be a hero.

Come on, ace--

a big boy like you, afraid of a little shot?

I gave you a sedative so you could get some sleep.

And this is just an intramuscular

anesthetic for pain.

Haven't you've forgotten something, Adam?

Huh?

You didn't give the man his lollipop.

Gopher (on pa): We're just lifting

anchor, ladies and gentlemen.

We've arranged to have all the bumps cleared in the ocean,

so you'll have smooth sailing all

the way back to Los Angeles.

There's plenty of balmy night left.

Enjoy it.

I came to give you the briefcase back--

and to give you an apology.

I was working on the wording of an apology, myself.

My wording is easy.

I'm an idiot.

I shouldn't have yelled at you.

At least you were doing your job.

Yeah-- a hatchet job.

You don't know how miserable I've been

doing the company's dirty work.

You were so loyal, I wanted to kick you.

And on top of that, they lied to you.

What?

They told you this case was empty.

I found these two suspicious looking objects.

I thought you'd like to examine them.

Well, you were right to bring this to my attention.

As a future ex-employee, I believe I am

entitled to clean out my desk.

Well, what shall we drink to?

To-- the briefcase.

And a burial at sea?

What a great idea.

[Glasses clink]

You know when I was pretending to be crazy about you?

Yeah?

Well, I'm not crazy.

And I wasn't pretending.

Arnold (voiceover): And that's all she wrote.

So, now we can put the whole shebang to bed.

Let's go, shebang.

I mean, Ellen.

How could I have picked a man like that?

What happened to you was all my fault.

Oh, no, mother.

The only person to blame is frank.

I just don't know how I could have misjudged him so.

Well, he happened along when you were at a very

vulnerable time in your life.

You know, there is a bright side.

What bright side?

Now, there's no reason for me not to come home to live.

Oh, sweetheart-- oh, that is a bright side.

I missed you.

Oh, I missed you.

[Sighs]

[Theme music]

[Spanish guitar]

[Sighs]

Right on time.

Come in, come in, whoever you are.

It's locked.

I'll be right there.

Hurry up.

This is no time to keep a lady waiting.

I'm coming.

Don't leave.

[Groans]

Hi, there.

Come on in.

Oh, ace, you poor baby!

You've had a relapse!

No, no-- I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Look.

Look. See?

I'm in perfect shape.

That makes two of us.

Let me just, uh--

hang this up.

You know, I can't believe how relaxed I am.

[Theme music]

Thank you for your support.

Well, that's what adopted sisters are for.

And I hope you have nothing but happiness

the rest of your life.

Thanks, Judy.

I'm sure that's all there will be.

Come on, sweetheart.

Bye!

Good bye.

The name is devlin--

Ellen devlin.

Well, give us a week.

Oh, well, congratulations.

Off to look for another job?

Well, I've got one.

Arnold completed his assignment so well,

I'm recommending the company kick him

upstairs to a supervisory position.

And the new job is going to be a little tough on Ellen.

How so?

Well, you thought the briefcase was inconvenient--

wait until i'm chained to a desk.

See you.

Both: Bye bye.

Good bye, Lisa.

You're the best nurse I've ever had.

Well, I'm glad we finally found the right medicine.

If you could bottle that, you'd win the nobel prize.

Oh, this is perfect.

Stay still.

What's wrong with this thing?

Kim, why don't you try the focus?

Turn that little knob right there.

Yeah.

Sometimes it's the automatic timer.

Are you sure you have film in it?

Or maybe you need a new battery.

No.

What it needs is the old photographer.

And he's busy.

[Theme music]

[Music ends]