Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪♪

Okay, ace. Now, remember,

when Ernie Jordan comes on board, first thing you do,

take a picture of him and Isaac and me.

Yeah, I want a picture with the champ.

Yeah, that's right. Hey, champ.

Woman: There he is!

[ Crowd murmuring ]

Guys, there he is. Go for it.

-Oh! -Hey!

All right!

No autographs, please, though.

All right! Ladies and gentlemen, the champ is on vacation.

Let's respect the man's privacy. All right?

-No pictures. -Thanks a lot, huh?

Uh, champ, could we have a picture with you?

Well, uh...Sure, why not?

Oh, thank you! Ace?

Okay, guys. Flash those pearlies!

Galen!

Ace, we're over here.

Ashley Evans, what are you doing here?

I work here. I'm the ship's photographer.

-You? -Yeah!

Lieutenant playboy actually has a job?

-Ace, come on! -Take the picture!

-Later, guys. -Right!

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

I hope we get to spend some time together on this cruise.

I'm sorry.

I'm taking Mr. Jordan to acapulco

for a charity exhibition bout that I've organized myself.

I'm gonna be terribly busy. -Mm.

And I imagine you're gonna be terribly busy,

now that you finally have a job.

Mr. Jordan?

Nice meeting y'all.

Right.

Thanks for the picture, ace.

Yeah.

Who is she?

Oh, she's just an old friend.

Well, for an old friend, she doesn't seem very friendly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See anything you like?

Uh...yeah!

Over there.

The guy with the bow tie, mother.

He's kind of cute.

-Him? -Yeah.

Margo, remember, we're on a shopping trip.

We're on a vacation, mother.

A shopping trip. And on a shopping trip,

you don't buy the first thing you see.

You look around.

Hi, i'm, uh, Dr. Milner.

Oh, a fellow m.D.?

Well, nice to meet you.

I'm Adam bricker, the ship's doctor.

And I'm Judy McCoy, the cruise director.

Oh, yes, that's aloha deck, cabin 119,

right down that hallway.

Ah, thanks.

Glad to have you aboard!

Enjoy your cruise, doctor.

A doctor!

You know, he's kind of cute, after all.

-Captain? -Yes.

I'm Malcolm bosworth.

This is my son, Justin.

Well, welcome aboard!

Welcome aboard.

Uh, you are on the promenade deck in cabin 348.

Justin, you're gonna have a great time

on this cruise. -Oh, you sure will!

We have lots of fun things for you to do.

-Really? -Mm-hmm.

Justin isn't here for fun things.

Has Ms. Abigail foster come on board yet?

She's to be Justin's tutor during the cruise.

No, not yet, Mr. Bosworth.

She's late.

Don't worry, dad. I can work by myself.

Mom used to let me.

Yes, I know, son.

That's why your grades aren't better.

Justin's mother and I are divorced.

She felt that he needed a stronger hand,

so now I have custody of my son.

Well, sometimes a boy really needs his father.

This one also needs a tutor.

Every time I see another father, I love you more.

Hi. I'm Abby foster.

-I'm supposed to -- -oh, Mr. Bosworth!

Ms. Foster's here.

Thank you. Hi.

I bet you're Justin. -Yeah!

Hi, Justin. I'm Abby.

I'm really glad to meet you.

Ms. Foster, I'm Malcolm bosworth.

You're late.

Whoops. I think I just lost my gold star.

[ Both laugh ]

Justin, why don't you run on ahead?

We'll catch up to you.

Ms. Foster, I thought I hired a tutor,

not a comedienne.

I'm sorry. I was just trying to put Justin at ease.

You don't have to worry about that.

He's obviously always at ease.

He's flunked out of two schools already.

[ Fog horn blows ]

♪♪

Ace!

How goes it with galen?

Ah, it's no use.

She doesn't like me because she doesn't think I'm responsible

or serious-minded.

Well, to prove you're serious-minded,

why don't you get interested in what she's interested in?

You mean, like, her charity?

Yeah!

And maybe she'll show you some charity, hm?

Hi, doc.

I said, "hi, doc."

Oh. Hi, doc.

I meant to ask you when you boarded, are you a specialist?

Um, yeah. Brain surgery.

Oh, fascinating field.

Where'd you go to medical school?

Um, Princeton.

Then you did it the hard way.

Princeton doesn't have a medical school.

[ Sighs ]

Well, to tell you the truth,

i -- I'm not very good with the women, you see.

And this guy I work with, Jack Ackerman,

he tells all the girls in the singles bars

that he's a doctor,

and they seem to turn on right away.

So, uh, I thought I'd try it on the cruise.

Don't.

Just be yourself.

Right.

I guess I'd feel a lot better being

an unexciting hardware salesman than a lying brain surgeon.

Mm-hmm.

And you'll save a fortune in malpractice suits.

Thanks.

-There he is. -So?

So the doctor will see you now.

Mother, no, I --

why are you wearing this?

What?

He's a doctor!

Hello. I'm -- I'm margo bush.

Uh, c-could I sit down, Dr. Milner?

Oh, sure.

Please, sit.

Thanks!

I overheard your name when I was boarding the ship.

Ah.

Well, then,

there's something I should tell you about my being a doctor.

Oh, please do. I just --

I really love doctors.

I, um, I'm fascinated by them.

They're so interesting and so dedicated, and --

would you mind, um, rubbing this on my back?

Oh. No, sure. Sure. Love to.

Thank you.

That's okay.

Oh! You have a nice touch.

The sure hands of a doctor, mm?

Well, got to be sure when you're a brain surgeon.

A brain surgeon!

Justin, well, why don't you tell me what sort

of things you're interested in?

Go-carts, dirt bikes,

motorcycles, anything that has an engine in it.

That's great. You know what we could do?

We could go to the gift shop and get some motorcycle magazines

and practice our reading from those.

Um...nah, I don't need to read anything.

I already know everything there is to know about engines.

Go ahead, ask me anything.

All right. Um, spell the word engine.

Engine? Sure.

"E"...

"N"...

"J," uh...

Well, maybe I can't spell it,

but I sure can fix it.

I thought I left you two down in the cabin, working.

What are you doing up here wasting time?

Oh, we're not wasting time.

I just thought Justin and I should get to know each other,

since we're gonna be working together.

And from what I've learned so far,

you have a very bright boy here.

I know he's bright.

It's just that his grades don't reflect it.

Well, I'm sure I can help him.

It looks to me like all you're helping him do

is get a suntan.

Justin needs a teacher, not a playmate.

♪♪

So, how do you like your accommodations, Ernie?

This place reminds me of the 48th street gym.

Everywhere you look, there's a knockout.

Excuse me.

Ms. Conover, I'm afraid I've just received some bad news

from acapulco.

Mr. Jordan's opponent for the charity exhibition

has been taken ill. He can't make it.

Aw, what a bummer.

Now we have to cancel everything.

The -- the children's hospital will lose all that money.

I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do...

Thank you, captain.

I'm afraid there's nothing anyone can do.

-Ash, come on. Let's go. -No.

-Come on. -Hey, think charity.

Charity. -All right.

-Hi, galen. -Hi.

Champ.

Uh, listen, galen. You know,

I -- I really admire what you're doing for the charity,

and, uh...

Well, I'd like to give you a hand with the exhibition.

That's very thoughtful of you, Ashley, but there isn't

gonna be an exhibition.

Why not?

Ah, the guy I was supposed to fight got sick.

And that was before I even hit him.

[ Forced laughter ]

Well, listen. Can't you find a replacement?

I doubt it.

Who are we gonna get to fight the champ on this short notice?

Ace used to box in college.

-Me? -Yeah!

-Me? -Yeah!

Oh...ashley, would you?

I mean, it might be the only way to save the money

for the charity.

Oh, come on.

Nobody's gonna pay to see me fight.

Are you kidding? People love to see a massacre.

It's just an exhibition. It's not a real right.

Well, this is a real nose.

Ashley, if, uh, if you would do this,

i would be grateful to you for the rest of my life.

♪♪

What's a little nose?

Okay. I'll do it.

See you at dinner.

-All right. -Thanks.

Yeah, see you at dinner.

-[ Laughs ] All right! -All right, ace!

-Ace, good show! -Okay!

Gonna have dinner with you.

She's gonna have to feed me because I can't move my arm.

Don't worry. After you fight the champ,

all your feeding will be intravenous anyway.

♪♪

Buenos noches, señoras, señoritas y señores.

Tonight is Mexican night in the coral dining room.

Enjoy a spicy fiesta of south-of-the-border specialties

while our mariachis serenade you.

Buen tiempo!

[ Mariachi music plays ]

Oh, I am so delighted that you and margo got together.

So am I.

So am I!

[ Both laugh ]

Oh, and margo has a wonderful background.

Finishing school did wonders for her.

[ Coughs ] Mother!

And my husband, Maurice, caterer to the stars,

he'll be so happy that margo met someone on the cruise

who is of equal station in life.

Mother, didn't you say you wanted to turn in early tonight?

Oh, well, in a minute, honey!

We can't be to be rude to Walter.

So, tell us a little about your background, doctor.

Well, uh, after four years of medical school

and all those sacrificial years as an intern,

I can honestly say I've never appreciated being a doctor

more than I do right now.

Walter!

Aww!

[ Mariachi music continues ]

I want to apologize, Ms. Foster, for my brusqueness today.

It's just that I'm so concerned that Justin

get ahead in his schoolwork.

Well, that's what I'm here for. Now, then.

Why don't we get down to some real serious business --

food.

Good idea!

What looks go to you, son?

Uh...

I guess I'll have the hamburger.

Justin, that's what you had for lunch today.

He always orders them.

What about this? That looks good.

Um, nah. I don't like that stuff.

I want a hamburger, or maybe a taco,

if they have it.

That's what I was pointing to, the taco special.

Oh, well, I couldn't see. Your finger was covering it.

He does this all the time.

You know what?

I always like to look at the desserts first.

What do you think, Justin? What looks good to you?

Forget it!

I don't want dessert!

I don't want a hamburger and I don't want a taco.

I don't want anything.

Justin!

[ Sighs ]

He just doesn't pay attention.

That's his problem.

Maybe nobody has paid attention to his problem.

Excuse me.

You know, Mr. Jordan, I'm a big fan of yours.

I'll never forget the night you fought two-ton Taylor.

I was sitting ringside.

Were you the one that caught him?

Oh!

You knocked a guy named two-ton clean out of the ring?

[ Chuckles ] What'd you get me into?

Hey, what are you worried about?

We're all gonna be in your corner.

Isaac and I are gonna be your managers.

And I'll be your medical advisor.

I won't need a doctor. I'll need an undertaker.

Ashley, it takes a special kind of man to climb in the ring

with Ernie Jordan.

How many fights have you had, Mr. Jordan?

Please, don't be so formal. Just call me Mr. Champ.

Uh, I've had 40 fights. -With 42 knockouts.

Wait a minute.

How can you have two more knockouts than fights?

Yeah.

Well, I also knocked out two referees.

-Did you hear that? -What are you worried about?

You're not a referee.

♪♪

Oh. Hey, this one's fun.

Why don't you read me a little bit from this one?

I told you, I don't feel like reading.

I'm getting tired.

Justin, you have a tough time reading, don't you?

No. I can read whatever I want.

Then why did you try to fake your way

through that menu at dinner tonight?

Okay, so I can't read everything.

That doesn't mean I'm dumb or lazy.

I just can't handle those words.

My dad doesn't think I try, but I do!

I know you do, Justin.

You've just got a problem reading.

And we are gonna find out what's behind that problem right now.

Can you read these cards?

Sure. That's a "y"...

-Mm-hmm. -And a "k."

That's good!

What about this one?

Uh, that's a "d"?

Okay. This one?

Uh, "b."

What about a word?

I want you to read a word for me.

How about that one?

Saw.

"S-"a," uh..."W."

Saw.

That's what I thought.

What is it?

Don't worry about it. You hop into bed.

It's time for you to go to sleep.

I'll talk to your dad about it in the morning.

Are you in?

Okay? Good night.

Got lipstick on you.

[ Door opens ]

♪♪

Walter, you know,

I really should apologize about my mother.

Sometimes she can be a little pushy.

She helped push us toward each other.

How bad can that be?

[ Song ends ]

[ Applause ]

Why does the music always stop at the wrong moment?

[ Both chuckle ]

I'll, uh, I'll get us another round.

Okay.

Mother, now that we're alone, could we talk, please?

What was all that stuff about at dinner?

The catering service, the finishing school?

Walter is a doctor.

I just want him to think highly about my daughter,

so I exaggerated a little.

A little. A little? You --

-shh. -[ Sighs ]

I never went to finishing school.

You finished school, didn't you?

Finished, finishing.

Oh, why quibble about one crummy little syllable?

Fine. Great.

Could we quibble about my father, your husband?

Remember? His name is Murray.

He owns a delicatessen.

He is not Maurice, caterer to the stars.

Do we have a take-out service?

So?

So, when those sandwiches leave the shop,

do we really know who eats them?

Can you tell me, beyond a shadow of a doubt,

that Burt Reynolds never, ever ate

one of pop's corned beef and Swiss.

Mama, I want him to like me for what I am.

I do too, sweetheart.

I'm just afraid to take the chance.

-Hi, guys! -Hey, champ!

-Hi, champ. -Hey, champ.

Ace, I think that's a nice thing

you're doing for the charity.

And don't worry. I'm not gonna hurt you.

There, you see? The man said he's not gonna hurt you.

The man doesn't know what hurt is.

You'll both be wearing gloves.

Uh, look, guys. I have a long life ahead of me.

I'm not gonna snuff it out for some girl.

I'm gonna go tell galen the fight is off.

Well, there goes our shot at the champ.

Yeah.

And we could have been a contender.

You know, I have to give ace credit.

Getting in that ring with that champ,

even though it's just an exhibition, takes nerve.

It certainly does.

I think I'm beginning to see Ashley's true colors.

[ Chuckles ]

I hope his true colors don't turn out to be black and blue.

Excuse me, sir, may I cut in?

Be my guest, champ!

Thank you.

Hi.

[ Lounge music playing ]

Listen, galen, I've been thinking, and --

so have I.

I've been thinking how very brave and wonderful you are.

What have you been thinking?

I've been thinking how very brave and wonderful I am, too.

♪♪

-Walter, I -- -margo, I --

[ both laugh ]

May I speak first?

Because after I finish,

you may never want to talk to me again.

I can't imagine my never wanting to talk to you again.

Oh, Walter.

Listen, um, a few of the things that my mother said tonight

about me and my family were not exactly true.

Well, first of all, we don't run a fancy catering establishment.

We own a delicatessen.

And secondly, I, um, I never went to finishing school.

-You didn't? -No.

I mean, I -- I couldn't stand having a relationship with you

that was based on lies, and I know you couldn't, either.

And you've been so wonderful, you've been so truthful.

I just hope you forgive me and mom.

And, well, I --

if we don't have truth, we have nothing, right?

[ Sighs ]

Well, I --

I guess we have nothing.

What?

♪♪

[ Vocalizing ]

Galen, the champagne is chilled.

I'm not!

I would like to propose a toast to a man

I never realized existed,

a man of character, a man of courage.

A man of impulse.

[ Chuckles ]

I think this is gonna be an evening I will always remember.

-And in case you do forget... -Mm-hmm.

...i hope I'm always around to refresh your memory.

Me too.

[ Knock on door ]

A-Are you expecting someone?

No, of course not!

Galen.

Galen.

Galen.

Thought that we'd find you here.

And from the looks of things, we're just in time.

What are you guys doing here?

Are you going through with that fight?

Of course I am.

We're here to protect you. You're in training.

-No women. -Hey, guys --

ace, you'll thank us in the morning.

But I'm gonna kill you tonight.

Ashley, there'll always be other evenings.

Doc?

I better stay here in case ace comes back.

Doc?

Night.

Good night.

Good night.

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

Excuse me, captain. I have something in my eye.

Well, let me take a look.

Oh, it's out now.

But I have to learn this for my teacher,

and my eyes are watering so much I can't read.

Could you just tell me what this sentence says?

Sure.

Oh, "Robinson crusoe."

One of my favorite books!

Bet you're having fun reading this.

Oh, yeah, sure. Could you just read it, please?

Hm. "I let him know his name

should be Friday, which was the day I saved his life."

Thanks, captain.

Ah, you're up early today.

Where's Ms. Foster?

Haven't you seen her yet, dad?

No.

Me neither, and I'm glad.

I wanted to have time to work by myself.

Dad, she's the worst teacher I ever had.

She makes me do stupid baby stuff.

Well, I thought you liked her!

No way.

If I get a single word wrong, she acts like I can't read.

I can read fine. Listen.

"I let him know his name should be Friday,

which was the day I saved his life."

Oh, son. That is terrific!

I knew you could do that if you applied yourself.

So will you tell Abby to leave me alone?

I don't like her, and she doesn't like me, either.

Well, just try to get along with her for one more day, okay?

Okay, dad, but it's not gonna work out.

She really thinks I'm stupid.

♪♪

Margo, maybe you can still patch it up

if you just talk to Walter.

I don't want to talk to him, mom.

He's a snob.

If he can't accept me for what I am,

I have nothing more to say to him.

Okay, fine.

Just let an eligible doctor walk right out of your life.

Why is so important to you that he's a doctor?

Because I don't want you to have to work in a delicatessen

like I did.

I want more for you, sweetheart.

I know, mama.

I appreciate it. Really, I do.

But it's my life.

I have to do what I think is best.

And that's your final word on the subject?

Yep.

Okay.

Where are you going?

I heard there's a nice young dentist on board.

I figured I'll check him out.

[ Chuckles ]

-Morning! -Morning.

-Hi, galen. -Hi, Ashley.

Did you sleep well this morning?

-Unfortunately, yes. -Uh-huh.

Hey, champ. Want our guy to show you how to do that?

Be my guest! It's all yours.

Excuse me! I have to beat up a bag.

-[ Clears throat ] -All right, Ashley!

Show 'em what you got!

-Attaboy, guy. -Yeah, good, good.

Right in there! -I'm impressed.

You certainly are a fine physical specimen.

Yeah! Our man's pretty good, huh?

-Mm-hmm. -Hey, hey.

You're a lot stronger than I thought!

I guess I'll have to train a little harder!

Sure that's easy, after our man loosened it up for you.

This is some sandpaper that I got from the ship's carpenter

this morning.

What I want you to do

is to trace your finger along the letter.

That way you'll start to feel the difference

between the letters, okay?

Go ahead.

See, the "b" goes this way and the "d" goes that way.

I want you to say the letter as you trace it.

Aw, gee.

Come on.

-"B." -uh-huh.

"D."

That's all good.

Now try these.

-"P." -mm-hmm.

-"Q." -see? That's wonderful!

This is going to be real easy for you.

I didn't believe what Justin was telling me.

Sandpaper? Crayons?

Ms. Foster, this boy is 10 years old.

He knows the alphabet. He's not in kindergarten.

Justin, I want you to keep tracing these letters, okay?

I'll be right back.

Mr. Bosworth, I need to talk to you.

I would have spoken to you last night

about your son's problem, but I wanted to be certain.

Mr. Bosworth, he's dyslexic.

He's what?

He has dyslexia.

Evidence seems to show that dyslexia is a disorder

of the left side of the brain.

He's confusing one letter with another.

He's even reading some words backwards.

There is nothing wrong with my son!

Would you just listen to me, please?

Well, I've listened to you quite enough!

He doesn't need an amateur psychologist

or a kindergarten teacher.

You are through as of this moment, Ms. Foster.

Oh, Mr. Bosworth, I don't care about myself.

But don't do this to Justin.

Look, his disorder can be helped, only with training.

I mean, if you're gonna push him,

he is gonna end up frustrated

and he's gonna feel like a failure.

And I don't think you want that.

Please, think of him.

Oh, I am thinking of him.

Are you?

Yes!

I'm going to be the father to him

that I always should have been.

I'm taking over from here on.

Fine.

♪♪

[ Maynard Ferguson's "gonna fly now" plays ]

[ Maynard Ferguson's "gonna fly now" continues ]

Just knock on his door!

Mother!

Wh -- how are you going to make up if you don't talk?

Mother, please! I have my pride.

If he wants to talk to me,

he can come to me and he can apologize.

Margo, why do you have to be so stubborn?

-What? -For once, just once,

I would...Oh.

Mother? Mo -- mother!

[ Groans ]

Oh, lord. Oh, mother.

Just stay there. Stay there.

Walter?

Walter! Walter!

Walter, quick! -What?

-It's an emergency! -What happened?

My mother! We were arguing and then she --

she just collapsed.

Please, help her!

Uh, okay, okay.

Wh -- what are you doing?

Calling Dr. Bricker!

You're a doctor! Help her!

I can't! I'm not a doctor!

You're not a doctor?

-You're all right? -No, I'm not.

I think I have a hearing problem.

Did you say you weren't a doctor?

I'm a hardware salesman!

I'm sorry.

Not as sorry as I am.

I faked this whole thing to get you two back together!

You did?

Well, that was before she knew what a phony you were.

Please leave.

Please, just go.

♪♪

Join us on the starlight deck for the weigh-in

for tonight's charity fight between the champ,

Ernie Jordan, and our own ace Evans,

the Princess pulverizer. Don't miss it!

Not only would you be helping the children's hospital,

but it may be your last chance to see the champ on his feet.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

before the weigh-in, I'd like to make an announcement.

The exhibition bout will take place tonight

at 10:00 in the monterrosa arena in acapulco.

Tickets are now on sale in the purser's lobby.

Ms. Conover?

Thank you, captain.

As you know, all the proceeds

will go to the children's hospital of acapulco.

We hope you'll give us your support. Thank you.

-Hear, hear. -All right.

Uh, look. This is really embarrassing.

Why do we have to have a weigh-in anyway, huh?

Well, it's good PR.

It'll get more passengers to buy tickets.

Oh, great. It's always nice to have witnesses to a murder.

[ Chuckles ]

Will the fighters please get on the scale?

-All right. -No, one at a time, please.

Merrill, Isaac has written a poem

he'd like to recite for the occasion.

[ Both clearing throats ]

"There's lightning in his left and thunder in his right.

One punch from the ace,

and the champ will say, 'good night.'"

[ applause ]

Uh, m -- Mr. Champ, sir,

I want you to know that I had nothing to do

with the writing of that distasteful poem.

That's right! Ace does the fighting.

Isaac does the writing.

Hit 'em again, guy.

All right. Listen to this one.

"At the end of three, you're all going to see

our ace face the test and lay the champ to rest."

[ Applause ]

Folks, I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll take on ace, and Isaac, too.

[ Crowd "ooh"s ]

-What? -He'll be there.

-What? -Good.

And if you made any plans for after the fight,

you'd better cancel 'em for the next few days.

You wouldn't hit a man with contact lenses, would you?

You don't wear contact lenses!

I will by fight time.

Buenos días, ladies and gentlemen!

Welcome to acapulco, the Jewel of the Mexican riviera.

Enjoy a lazy day of soaking up rays on a sun-drenched beach,

or for the thrill of a lifetime, try parasailing.

And tonight, there'll be some extra excitement

in exciting acapulco when our own ace

and Isaac take on the champ himself, Ernie Jordan!

♪♪

Doc: Okay. Justin, now try the last line.

"B," "h," "s," "o"...

"W."

Thank you, Justin.

Justin, would you mind waiting in the other room

while I talk to your father?

Thank you.

Okay. I'm sure you saw that on the fifth line,

uh, he got all the letters right, except some

were in reverse order.

On the sixth line, he got everything right except the "m."

He read it upside down, as a "w."

What does that mean?

In any of the schools he attended, did anyone ever

say anything about dyslexia?

Yes, his -- his tutor did.

But my son is not retarded.

He's a bright kid.

Mr. Bosworth, dyslexics are not retarded.

And with special teaching,

there'll be no holding Justin back,

at least no more than Nelson rockefeller,

Thomas Edison, or Leonardo da Vinci.

They were all dyslexic,

and I guess you could say they managed.

Am I okay?

Oh, sure you are, Justin.

You just have a bit of a problem.

Yeah, I'm stupid.

No, Justin.

This has nothing to do with your intelligence.

You have a problem, but it's only a reading problem.

Hey, that's just what Abby said!

Well, you see, Abby's a smart lady.

Looks like I owe her an apology.

And Justin, I think I owe you one, too.

I've been riding you pretty hard.

I was just trying to get the best for you.

I know dad, and I'm sorry, too,

about the things I said about Abby.

I was just afraid that you wouldn't want me

if you thought I was dumb.

Oh, Justin. I love you, no matter what.

♪♪

I shouldn't have pulled that stupid stunt.

It's okay, mother.

I know, in your own weird way,

you were just trying to help out.

I know that I've been pushing you to find a man

who's successful. -Mm.

I guess it's because your father and I had to struggle so much.

I wanted your life to be easier than ours, that's all.

Mother, I always thought that you and daddy were happy.

Weren't you?

Very!

Because we loved each other.

And I'd like to see you in a loving, happy marriage, too.

Money isn't everything.

What?

Do I believe my ears?

Is this my mother speaking?

Did you really say that?

Yes, and if you quote me, I'll deny it.

[ Both laugh ]

Oh, mom. Walter lied to me.

Maybe he did it to impress you.

Do you know what your father told me when we first met?

No.

That he was the king of Nova Scotia.

Later, I found out he meant the salmon.

[ Both laugh ]

Oh, sweet.

Merrill: Ladies and gentlemen,

our main event for the evening --

three rounds of exhibition boxing

for the children's hospital in acapulco!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Bell dings ]

Ladies and gentlemen, wearing the dark trunks,

weighing 221 pounds, from akron, Ohio,

the formidable and ferocious Ernie Jordan!

[ Cheers and applause ]

And wearing the white trunks with the red trim,

for a total weight of 334 pounds,

Isaac "the poet" Washington...

[ Cheers and applause

hey poet, I remember those poems.

Whoa-ho.

...and ace Evans, the Princess pulverizer!

Big deal, you pulverized a Princess.

Come to the center of the ring, please.

-Hi. -Hi.

So, are you all familiar with the rules

of the boxing commission?

Yeah, yeah. No hitting above the belt.

Yeah, hold it, uh, that's no hitting below the belt.

Oh, sorry! I always get that mixed up.

All right, gentlemen. Are there any questions?

Yeah, I have one for the champ.

How much do you want to take a dive?

Remember, I want this to be a good, clean fight.

When I say break, break!

Oh, I plan to break everything in sight.

All right. Now shake hands

and come out fighting.

-I slipped! -He slipped.

-I slipped. -He slipped.

Get in the corners. Let's go.

-Come on. -Okay, guys.

Let's get these robes off. -Okay. Here we go.

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Bell dings ]

Come on! Give it to him!

Don't give up!

Come on! Come on!

Keep going!

I got him, ace!

Ah! Ah! Ugh!

Hold it.

I'll save you the trouble.

One! Two!

-Ashley, get up! -Three!

Four! Five! Six!

[ Bell dings ]

End of round one!

You're doing great, kid! Great! Come on. Come on.

Saved by the bell. Come on. Get up.

All right, kid. Crawl. You can do it. Come on.

Two more bells and we made it.

May I sit down, Mr. Milner?

Sure.

Oh, Walter. Let me ask you a question.

Why did you do it?

Well, I never have any luck with women.

So I just figured that if I said I was a doctor,

at least there'd be something attractive about me.

Walter, you have to have a little confidence in yourself.

You don't need a medical degree to be appealing.

You know, even before you said you were a doctor,

I thought you were very, very cute.

Me, cute?

And I don't lie.

Well, from now on, neither do I,

especially when I tell you...

I love you.

I -- I love you too, Walter.

[ Bell dings ]

Haven't even kissed you yet, and already I'm hearing bells.

Turn around. I'll be right behind you.

No, not this time!

There's no way I'm gonna be the first one out there.

Did I do that? -One!

Two! Three! Four!

Five! Six! Seven! Eight!

Nine! Ten!

[ Bell dings ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Maynard Ferguson's "gonna fly now" plays ]

♪♪

Abby! We've been looking all over for you!

You're gonna be my teacher again!

What? What is this?

We would like you to be, if you still want to.

I know I've been impossible, pigheaded.

I should have trusted you from the beginning.

Doc confirmed your diagnosis.

You know, with work,

Justin can become anything he wants to be.

As long as he gets professional help,

and if he has someone like you to help him,

to work with him, someone with Patience

and understanding enough for both father and son.

So, Abby, can you forgive the way

I behaved and come back and help Justin and me?

I'm good with children,

but, um, adults are a lot harder to teach.

But then, I have always loved a good challenge.

-All right! -Come here. All right.

We've got some work to do, you know? You ready?

Gopher: Ladies and gentlemen,

we are now saying goodbye to delightful acapulco.

And we'd like to say thanks to all of you

who attended the charity fight last night

between our own ace Evans and Isaac Washington

and the gracious Ernie Jordan, the ex-champion.

Ashley: Ex-champion? Are you crazy? He's gonna kill us.

Gopher: Don't worry, he's a cream puff.

See you back in our home port of L.A.!

I am so proud of you for fighting the champ.

Mm. -Aah!

Ow!

Ooh.

Ooh, baby.

Where does it hurt?

Y -- well, it -- it hurts right here, a little sore.

Would you like me to kiss it and make it better?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

But it really hurts right here, a lot.

I'm beginning to feel better already.

Me too.

♪♪

♪♪

Dr. Bricker, thank you for everything.

Oh, please don't mention it.

How's my patient doing?

I'm fine, thanks.

Not really. He's in bad shape, doctor.

He's developed an incurable crush on his tutor.

Maybe if it's contagious, dad, you'll catch it!

You're right, he is a bright boy!

-Goodbye! -Bye.

Bye!

Judy: We hope you enjoyed your cruise.

I think "loved" would be a better word.

Aww!

Well, I'd say you came in with the right prescription,

Dr. Milner. -Oh, please.

I've retired from practice.

Oh, Walter. You're still a young man.

It's never too late for med school.

Mother...

[ Both laugh ]

Okay. Flash those pearlies!

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

-Got it! -Hey!

Well, champ, I'm sorry if my fighters

spoiled your perfect record.

Hey, for a charity, one little k.O. Is okay by me.

Just one.

The charity is very grateful to all of you.

I'll never be able to thank you enough.

Oh, I think you'll be able to thank me

when we see each other in a week.

I'm looking forward to thanking you.

Yeah.

-Bye. -Bye.

Okay, champ.

-Bye-bye. -Bye-bye. -Bye-bye.

-Later, champ! -So long, champ!

You're lucky it wasn't a title fight!

♪♪