Original subtitles

[Music - Jack Jones, "love boat theme"]

(Singing) Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard, we're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow, it floats back to you.

The love boat, soon we'll be making another run.

The love boat, promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure your mind on a new romance.

And love, won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard, it's love.

[Music playing]

Hello.

I'm Annette Henshaw, and this is my daughter susie.

Um, is there an information desk?

Well, that's my department.

I'm Judy McCoy, the cruise director.

Well great.

So what does a girl do for fun on the ship?

That's actually my department.

I'm the purser, purser Smith.

I'm also the fun director.

Well, we're on the aloha deck.

Um, is that near the purser's office?

If not, I'll move it.

[Laughter]

Susie, I think it's time we got settled in our cabin.

I'll see you both on the cruise.

- Yeah, we'll be here. - Ok.

Thank you.

Bye.

Uh, darling?

Darling, I really think I should warn you.

Isn't he cute?

Yes, he's cute.

But you also thought your first husband was cute.

And he wasn't so cute in court, was he?

Yeah mom, I guess you're right.

You know susie, you've just come

through a very messy divorce, and I don't

want you to get hurt again.

So let's, uh-- let's keep a low profile with men, ok?

Ok, mom.

I'll promise.

Welcome aboard.

- Hello. - Hi.

Hello.

You are?

I'm Mr., um--

I'm Mr. Blatnick, Lyle blatnick.

Ah, the honeymoon couple.

We've been expecting you.

Honeymoon couple?

Oh!

Oh right, sure.

So congratulations.

We always try to make honeymoons extra special.

Of course, naturally.

So do I.

So where's the blushing bride?

Oh, uh, probably out blushing.

[Laughter]

Excuse me.

Uh, where do I check in?

I'm Barbara blatnick.

Oh, speak of the devil.

Uh, what my daughter means, Mrs. Blatnick,

is that we hope that you and your groom

have a wonderful honeymoon.

My groom?

Well, I hardly recognized you either without the veil.

[Laughter]

Vicki, why don't you show Mr. and Mrs. Bratnick

to the honeymoon suites?

Sure, I'd love to.

And after that, you're on your own.

Now wait a minute--

oh, isn't that typical?

The nervous bride.

After you.

Bye-bye.

There he is, the one taking the picture.

Thank you very much.

Enjoy your cruise.

What do you think?

Ah, he don't look like much to me.

Ace?

Ace: Donna! Ha!

Donna dresen!

I don't bel-- oh!

Oh!

Sorry.

That's, uh-- that's ok.

You rarely change, Donna.

Oh yes I have.

It's not dresen anymore, it's braddock.

This is my husband, Gus.

Gus, this is ace Evans.

Gus, nice to to meet you.

Oh!

[Laughter]

Kinda puny grip.

[Laughter]

Uh, Gus and his brothers are in the moving business.

I can see that.

You just moved a few bones in my hand.

Whoa.

Uh, this is Adam bricker, the ship's doctor.

Uh, Isaac does all my handshaking.

Ah, this is Isaac Washington, chief barman.

Oh, i-- I need all my fingers for my work.

This here is, uh--

I'm Kim Carlisle, the sports director.

I'll try one.

[Laughter]

I, uh-- I kinda took it easy.

Yeah, me too.

Gee Donna, this really is a terrific surprise

seeing you here.

Oh, well it's not a surprise to us.

We came aboard specifically to see you.

Me?

Gus: Yeah.

We'd kinda like you to do us a favor.

Oh?

We'll tell you about it later.

Come on.

See you later, ace!

Ok.

I wonder what kind of favor they want from me.

Do me a favor, ace.

Sure.

Whatever it is, say yes.

Lyle blatnick: That seems to be the story.

We're all in the same travel club,

and the blatnicks were obviously going on this cruise

for their honeymoon.

And-- and they must have broken up, so he sold his ticket to me

and she sold hers to you.

So that's why I got the ticket so cheap.

Yeah, same with me.

Well, what do we do now?

I-- I hardly know you.

I can't stay here, it wouldn't be right.

Well why not?

We're on our honeymoon.

That's funny.

Look, we can still enjoy the cruise separately.

You go your way, I'll go mine.

Nobody has to know.

Ok?

Well, all right.

What?

- What? - What is this?

You always keep a quarter in your ear?

[Laughter] Yeah?

Oh you like that, eh? - That's cute.

Well, thanks.

So are you.

[Knocking]

Who is it?

Isaac: Isaac Washington, your chief barman.

Ah!

To the newlyweds, compliments of the cruise line.

And don't worry, I'm out of here.

Well--

[laughter]

Well, we-- we can't accept this.

We've got to send it back.

What, and get us thrown off the ship--

Mrs. Blatnick?

Oh.

Ok.

Pop your cork, Mr. Blatnick.

[Laughter]

[Horn blowing]

[Music playing]

Uh, excuse me, ladies.

Can I take a picture please? Here we go.

Big smiles.

That's it.

Great.

Ah.

[Laughter]

Well, thank you.

Enjoy your cruise.

Ace!

Come on over.

Sit there.

Whoops.

Whoops.

I remember.

Used to be your favorite word.

[Laughter]

Do you remember what a great time

we used to have in your dad's luncheonette after school?

Oh, I had such a big crush on you then.

That was a long time ago, honey.

So fill me in, huh?

What's been happening?

Well, nothing real exciting--

till last year.

That's when Gus and I got married.

You've got a great gal there, Gus.

Yeah.

Let's arm wrestle.

Hm?

Oh, go ahead ace.

It's Gus's hobby.

Oh.

That must be a fun hobby, especially

when you're home by yourself.

[Laughter]

- Set? - Yeah.

Go.

[Laughter]

That was fun.

[Laughter]

[Whimpering]

[Music playing]

Mother and daughter.

Beautiful.

Oh.

It's you, gopher.

Please sit down.

Thank you.

We were just feeling lonely.

Oh, well that happens to be on my duty roster also.

I'm in charge of loneliness on the ship.

So how about having dinner with me tonight?

Oh, I'd love it!

Susie.

Don't think me rude, but susie's just gone through a divorce.

And we took this cruise so we could spend some time together.

I mean, i-- I hope you'll understand.

Of course I understand.

But I thought that the three of us would have dinner tonight--

and Mr. Henshaw if he's on board.

Well, I've been a widow for some time.

Susie: Come on mama, let's go.

We'll have a good time.

[Sighing]

8 o'clock?

Oh, that's perfect.

All right.

Well, all right.

He is so polite.

So was your ex-husband.

Mr. Blatnick?

I'd like to invite you and Mrs. Blatnick

to join me at my table for dinner tonight.

We have a special surprise for you newlyweds.

Well, thank you.

Thanks.

This-- this cruise is just one surprise after another.

- Well, we'll see you at 8:00. - Right.

Thank you. - Goodbye.

Being your husband is really cramping my style.

Well, we'll soon be in Mexico and we

can get a quickie divorce.

[Laughter]

Cute.

[Music playing]

Kim Carlisle: Three, four.

And one, two, three, four.

Up two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

Go up two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Go down and one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Take a break.

All right.

Watch out for that wet spot, hon.

Ho!

[Laughter]

Hi.

How's it going?

Great, until now.

I, uh--

I wanna try something new with you.

Ha.

Look, my hand and my arm are just

getting back to normal, ok?

Nah, it's got something to do with your mind.

Oh no, don't hurt my mind.

[Laughter]

It's just a riddle, ace.

Oh?

Ok.

Now, if an electric train is moving east at 50 miles an hour

and the wind's blowing south at 40, which way does the smoke

go?

There's no smoke from an electric train.

Yes!

He got it right!

Yeah.

Probably just a lucky guess.

[Laughter]

Let's go.

[Music playing]

Find out what they want yet?

No, not yet.

But whatever it is, I think I flunked the physical.

But I passed the logic.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

[Knocking]

Thank you.

Should I have tipped him?

These must be from gopher.

Then they must be trouble.

Here's the card, and it says they're from gopher.

And it's for the two of us.

Oh no.

What?

Something wrong?

First he includes mother in dinner.

Then he includes mother in the roses.

You think he's trying to soften you up?

Trying to?

I think he already has.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

Woman (on pa): Attention ladies and gentlemen.

Tonight is Chinese night in the coral dining room.

Join us for a tempting selection of delicacies

from the far east.

And don't forget the fortune cookies.

Everything looks so inviting.

Hm.

Hey, uh, aren't yo gonna look at the menu?

Oh no, I know what I want.

Look at the menu.

And, uh, read this right here.

Gus?

It's ok, hon.

Can you read this?

Yes.

Moo goo gai pan.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure.

And my hearing is perfect too.

[Laughter]

All right, look, will you please tell me what this is all about?

Hm?

You'll find out tonight.

Well.

Well hello.

Well hello.

I'm glad you're already here.

Where's your mother?

She'll be down in a second.

Gopher, the flowers were perfect.

- No kidding? - Yes.

Mm-hmm.

You're winning her over.

I'm glad to hear that.

She's a little bit worried, though.

She feels that i'm desperate to meet a man.

Are you?

Well, I want to meet the right one.

And if he happens to be here on the cruise,

then I'm afraid that man, whoever he might be,

is gonna have to do his pursuing without my mother around.

If someone said your mother was not around,

someone was mistaken.

- Hi mom. - Hi.

Good evening.

Good evening.

I think you should know I consider myself the most

fortunate of men tonight, dining with the two most

charming ladies on the ship.

Well thank you, kind sir.

Thank you.

And I thought that maybe later--

do a little dancing.

I love it.

Mrs. Henshaw?

Oh!

Well, if I'm going to be your dancing partner,

why don't you call me Annette?

Annette.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to offer

a toast to our newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Lyle blatnick.

Hear-hear!

How long have you two been married?

Six days.

Six weeks.

[Laughter]

Six weeks.

Six days.

Well, we-- we, uh--

we met-- we met six weeks ago and we-- we got

married six days ago.

Yes, yes.

I guess we felt married from the moment we met.

[Laughter]

That's beautiful.

But where did you meet?

Uh, San--

- San-- - --Diego.

--Francisco.

(Singing) Ah, yes, they remember it well.

[Laughter]

Well actually, we met in San Francisco.

Fell in love in San Diego.

Right.

How sweet.

And here we are.

Well, we didn't know if you two had a big wedding,

so we thought you should have a big wedding cake.

Oh, how nice.

Thank you.

Hey!

They're not even married!

I saw this guy last week on a different cake with a redhead!

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

That's the guy that's driving ace up the wall, captain.

He wants something from ace but he won't say what it is.

Well, couldn't ace simply demand to know?

Have you ever shaken hands with Gus, sir?

No.

Believe me, it's much better this way.

[Laughter]

So, uh, this guy's--

he's ok?

Oh, yeah.

He's wonderful.

He's-- well, he's kind and caring,

and he's very sensitive too.

Ok.

I just wanted to make sure.

[Cracking]

Sorry.

That's ok, i'm getting used to it.

But what I can't get used to is Gus testing me all the time.

Now why is he doing it?

Please trust me, ace.

You'll find out.

Mm.

And, uh, I know you've passed the test.

Oh, great.

I have all the answers.

Now I just need the questions.

[Laughter]

[Cracking]

Again?

Again.

[Music playing]

Ok.

We've, uh, had our dinner.

We had our dance.

And now we've had our little walk.

Now will you tell me what's on your mind?

Hm?

Gus?

Look Evans, I had to check you out, right?

You'll never make no moving man, but, uh, you'll do.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'll do for what?

Ace, there are five braddock brothers including Gus.

That's right.

And all my brothers got no less than six kids apiece.

Donna: Gus and I have been married

for a year now, and, uh--

and, uh, zilch.

Zilch?

Yeah, zilch.

Zip.

Numero none.

You know?

No kids.

And, uh, well, my family's starting to look at me like--

you know.

The, uh, problem seems to, uh, lie with Gus.

So, uh, we decided on artificial insemination!

Oh.

Well, it seems like, um, a-- a good idea.

Oh, we wanted everything to be right,

the perfect person to be the donor.

So I recommended you.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

Me?

Y-- you want me to--

Donna: Oh, yes.

We thought we'd all go to a hospital

where they do artificial insemination and then, uh--

me?

Donna: Yes.

Oh, but don't worry, because at the hospital they, um--

they-- Gus: Yeah, right.

It doesn't take that long.

And then after we're done, we, uh--

we?

No, we have a beautiful child.

Uh-- gee, I, uh--

I don't know what to say.

I mean, when most people ask for a favor, they--

they want to borrow money.

Oh, no, no.

It's not money we're after.

Yeah, I know.

Oh, I know.

Look, why don't we talk about this tomorrow?

Well what's wrong with right now?

Not tonight.

I, uh-- I have a headache.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

[Chatter]

Lyle, do you mind if I ask you something personal?

Shoot.

Well, maybe I'm a romantic, but it just

seems that on your honeymoon, shouldn't

you be dancing with your wife?

[Laughter]

Yeah, you're right.

Well, it's the lone honeymooner to the rescue.

[Laughter]

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Hi.

Excuse me, i-- I am the lady's husband.

[Laughter]

Thank you.

It's the least the groom could do.

It's hard to dance with a man who has six hands.

[Laughter]

It looks like we're stuck together again, Mrs. Blatnick.

Well, lead the way, Mr. Blatnick.

Ok.

[Music playing]

Yes.

Oh!

Look at those stars.

It's a lovely night.

Very romantic.

But a little chilly for me.

I'm gonna go get a sweater.

Mama, do you want one?

No thank you, dear.

Now, you keep a close eye on gopher.

I don't want him falling overboard.

I'll be right back.

She's a wonderful girl.

Yes.

Gopher, do me me a favor.

What?

Go easy on susie.

She wants to fall in love so quickly,

and I'm afraid she finds you terribly attractive.

Did she say that?

Oh, she didn't have to.

[Music playing]

That was fun.

I had a good time this evening.

Same here. Same here.

I haven't spent much time with a girl like you.

Oh?

Well, a woman like you.

Oh, thank you.

You're lovely.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

Getting undressed for bed.

Now wait a minute.

Pretending to be married is one thing,

but spending the night in the same room is another.

So what am I supposed to do, sleep out on deck?

Well, one of us has to.

I tell you what.

We will let the cards decide.

All right?

Highest card wins.

You're putting me on.

No, no.

I'm serious.

Now, if I win, then we both get to stay here.

And if I win?

Well, then I find someplace else to sleep.

Go ahead. - Oh, that sounds fair.

Ok.

[Music playing]

[Laughter]

Ok.

You can stay.

But you get the couch.

[Laughter]

Oh.

How nice.

Yes.

Let's see if this fits here.

[Laughter]

Oh, by the way, uh, sometimes I walk in my sleep.

Oh, that's ok.

I sometimes kick in mine.

[Laughter]

And then it took me about another five years

to make purser.

So I figure then I'll probably make captain

by the time i'm, oh, 89?

[Laughter]

- Thank you. - You bet.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, mama.

Goodnight, darling.

Goodnight.

Now not too late, you two.

Yes, mom.

[Laughter]

So, um, how about a little night cap?

Oh, it's getting a little late, I think.

I know.

You don't want to upset my mama.

That's right, yeah.

Goodnight.

I'll see you tomorrow, ok?

Until tomorrow.

Yes ma'am.

[Music playing]

Gopher.

Is something wrong?

No, no.

I just wanted you to know that I'm not

going to put the rush on susie.

Thank you.

I really appreciate that.

[Music playing]

Because it's you I'm crazy about.

[Music playing]

- Oh! - What?

What happened? What?

What happened?

You happened, that's what happened!

What are you doing in my bed?

Well, it's our cabin, so I guess it's our bed.

Yeah, but as of last night it was my bed, it was your couch.

It was cold there.

And you were so warm.

You, uh-- you looked so warm.

Actually, you were so warm.

I snuck a hug.

Just a small one.

Oh?

Just to take the chill away.

Well, um, if your body temperature is back to normal,

why don't we go have breakfast?

I hear it's nice.

They serve it out on deck.

Oh, no.

No?

No, you can't go out on deck.

Why?

Well, there's a terrible storm.

[Laughter]

I don't hear any thunder.

Well sure.

Listen to my heart.

You hear anything?

Yes.

And I think it's my own heart that I hear.

[Music playing]

Sometimes it storms indoors.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Woman (on pa): May I have your attention, please?

This morning's breakfast buffet is now

being served on the lido deck.

Well, there you are.

Good morning.

Good morning, darling.

I got up a little early.

I didn't want to wake you.

Did you sleep all right?

Oh, fair.

I had a few things on my mind.

Well, I hope you weren't worried about gopher and me.

Gopher and you?

Honestly, no.

Gopher: Morning, ladies.

Good morning.

I thought maybe after breakfast I might give you

both a little tour of the ship.

Well susie, why don't-- why don't you go along with gopher?

Ok.

Come on, let's go.

Uh, Annette, don't you want to go too?

She said she didn't.

We can go.

She's finally giving us her blessing.

We don't need to look for trouble.

[Music playing]

Artificial insemination?

Yeah.

That's what ace told me.

And they want him to be the donor.

Boy, when those people ask for a favor, they don't kid around.

Yeah.

He said he was up all night thinking about it.

But he hasn't decided.

Oh, poor guy.

Look at him.

He hasn't even touched his breakfast.

I think he's having morning sickness.

[Laughter]

Aren't you gonna eat, ace?

Uh, yeah.

Yep.

Uh, butter?

Ah, yes.

Thank you.

How about some syrup?

Yes, thank you.

But it's no thank you on the artificial insemination.

Oh.

Look, I'd like to do a favor for you,

but this isn't like rotating your tires.

[Laughter]

We were hoping--

ace: Look, I like you.

Even you, Gus.

[Laughter]

I think.

But when it-- when it comes to fatherhood, this isn't anything

I've ever thought of before.

You think it was easy for me to ask you, Evans?

I mean, knowing Gus braddock hasn't got what it takes.

Gus, you're wonderful.

It really isn't that important.

Gus: Yeah, it is important having kids.

I love kids.

I want kids.

I had to bend some to consider you, Evans.

But Donna thought over all the guys she grew up with

and decided it had to be you.

Ah, forget it.

[Music playing]

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Donna.

No, it's not your fault, ace.

It's nobody's fault. It's just--

sad.

- Hey. - Hm?

You awake?

Mm-hmm.

Let's go eat breakfast.

Better make that lunch.

How about just staying here and getting to know each other?

I thought we got to know each other pretty well this morning.

Come on.

I'm starved.

Ok, whatever you say.

[Music playing]

[Laughter]

You-- you fraud!

You singles bar reject!

You tricked me last night.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let me explain.

You know, I thought you were special.

I thought we were special.

But now I see you're just another guy with a good line

with his hormones in overdrive.

Barbara, will you please listen to me?

Barbara: I feel like a fool.

"Sometimes it storms indoors."

Well, you can turn off the charm.

You scored.

[Music playing]

Oh, you had a change of heart.

Yes.

You cheated, you leave.

No, no. No, Barb--

yes.

Bye!

[Laughter]

Hey, Barbara.

Barbara?

Don't Barbara me.

B--

[laughter]

Purser.

Purser?

Purser?

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

Captain stubing (on pa): Bienvenidos,

ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to fabulous puerto vallarta, the fun

capital of the Mexican riviera.

Glittering beaches, colorful shops, and tantalizing

seafood dishes await you.

Have a wonderful day.

[Music playing]

Gus?

We've talked about adopting.

We don't have to have our own.

Yes we do, doll.

In my family, you get married, you take a two-week honeymoon,

and then if your wife doesn't give you a baby in nine months,

they buy you sequin pumps.

[Laughter]

Well, then let me talk to ace again.

I'm sure I can convince him.

Well, why is he so important?

Well, if you can't be the father,

I think ace would be perfect.

Yeah, maybe too perfect.

Gus!

Ok.

But who gets the neck tie on father's day?

Oh.

[Music playing]

Oh, it's gonna be a beautiful day.

One for the books.

Honeymooners.

Oh, your wife went that way.

Thanks.

Sweetheart?

[Laughter]

Oh, they're so in love.

Will you give me a chance to explain?

Why should I?

You tricked me.

Guilty, but with extenuating circumstances.

Well I'm not interested.

All right, look.

Fate got us into the same room together,

now why not let fate decide?

- Fine. - All right?

Ok.

Now heads you let me explain, tails you don't.

Mm-hmm.

Just as I thought, two heads.

[Laughter]

Annette!

Wait!

Gopher please, i'm on my way to town.

Just wait a minute, ok?

Where's susie?

She's getting a manicure.

I told her I had an appointment with the captain.

Ah, then you don't want to be late.

Wait a minute.

I said that because it was an excuse.

I wanted to see you.

Annette, I think i'm falling in love with you.

Oh, but you can't be.

It's impossible.

It is not impossible.

You are lovely and I want to be with you constantly.

And I think that you want to be with me.

Oh gopher, I like you as a friend,

but I'm not looking for a lover.

Is this about our ages?

Well, you are a few years my junior.

Oh Annette, come on.

These days an older woman and a younger man-- that's accepted.

I am not about to head into a serious relationship

simply because it's fashionable.

But then what is it?

Well, for one thing, susie has a tremendous crush on you.

And I am not about to steal a man away from my own daughter.

I see.

I thought you would.

That's good, Annette.

That makes perfect sense.

But what about us?

Whether you admit it or not, we have feelings for each other,

and we should at least explore what they are!

Now that makes perfect sense to me!

Purser Smith, my answer is final.

No.

No.

[Music playing]

[Music playing]

Need a shoulder?

He's arrogant, superficial, and devious.

That calls for three shoulders.

In spite of all that, I bet you still love him.

Yes.

The problem is, when he wants to explain why he tricks me,

he uses another trick.

He doesn't need me.

He needs a magician's assistant.

Captain stubing: But he does want to explain.

Even if it is a trick, I'm sure he's

doing it with good intentions.

But I don't know if he has any good intentions.

You'll never know unless you give him a chance.

[Music playing]

[Chatter]

Goph!

Hi, doc.

All this moonlight and alone?

I thought you had a girl.

Seem to have two.

Whoops.

Double oops.

Well, take it from a man who's lived, loved, lost, learned--

maybe-- and paid a lot of alimony--

level with both of them and let the chips fall where they may.

Tell the truth?

As an expert on falling chips, yeah.

- Gopher. - Hi.

I haven't seen you all day.

Yeah.

You must have spent a lot of time with the captain.

Yes.

No.

I didn't spend any time with the captain.

I didn't even speak to him.

What?

Susie, I think you're a terrific girl,

and I hope that we can still be--

friends.

I'm in love with another woman.

Oh.

Well, who's the lucky lady?

[Door opening and closing]

Susie?

Hi darling.

You're back early.

Yes I am.

Did you find gopher?

Oh, I found him all right.

But it looks like you found him first.

Darling, what is it?

Oh, as if you didn't know.

Mama, don't lie to me.

At least gopher-- he had the decency

to be honest about you and him.

What did he tell you?

You know, it all makes sense now.

"Don't rush into anything too quickly" you kept telling me.

And never-- never allow me to be alone with him.

All because you wanted him all to yourself.

Darling, that's not true.

[Music playing]

Woman (on pa): Ladies and gentlemen,

it's time to say adios to the palm-fringed beaches

of puerto vallarta.

May tropical night breezes speed us on our way home.

Next stop, port of Los Angeles.

Have you seen Donna?

She was headed toward ace's cabin.

How long ago was that?

Hours ago.

That's how long I've been looking for her.

Isn't that the guy that wanted a favor from ace?

Yeah.

And by look on his face, it's ace

who's gonna need the favor--

from doc.

[Music playing]

[Loud knocking]

Gus: Open up!

Yeah, just a sec.

Uh, come on in.

Oh.

Aha!

Just like I thought, stark naked!

No, I'm stark toweled.

I was just in the shower.

Where's Donna?

She's not here.

Yeah, she was on her way here hours ago.

Well, she never arrived!

[Laughter]

Yeah.

You expect me to believe that?

Yeah.

Yeah, i-- I do.

I know you're in here somewhere, Donna.

[Laughter]

I figure she wants you to be the father of her child,

uh, first hand.

Gus, I mean, that's ridiculous.

Come on, Gus.

[Faric tearing]

She's not in there.

If you had asked me, I could have told you that.

[Phone ringing]

[Laughter]

Yeah?

Ace here.

Oh.

You mean the guy from the wrecking company?

Yeah.

It's for you.

And listen, don't rip it out.

It's the only phone I've got.

Yeah?

Gus braddock.

What?

Where?

The infirmary?

I'll be right there.

What's the matter?

It's Donna.

She's hurt.

Well come on, let's go.

I'm coming with you.

Damn.

[Laughter]

All right.

Call it.

Tails, you get a chance to explain.

Heads, you don't.

I can't win.

That's a two-headed coin.

No, no.

Look.

It's an ordinary quarter.

Then you were being honest with me.

Yes.

So why don't you be honest with me?

All right.

I-- I used the rigged deck last night because I

was afraid of losing you.

In my own strange, dishonest way, you're the first woman i--

I ever have been honest with.

I don't follow you.

I love you.

Well, that's a lot easier.

[Music playing]

Gus: Are you feeling ok, hon?

Fine.

I tripped on the deck.

You know what a klutz I am.

Uh, you didn't trip, Mrs. Braddock.

You fainted.

I ran some tests on you.

You're pregnant.

Donna: Pregnant?

Gus: Say that again, doc.

Dr. Bricker: Pregnant, as in expectant parents.

We're gonna have a kid!

Oh, a baby of our own!

Isn't it wonderful?

Oh, thank you, doc.

Don't thank me.

Thank Gus.

I'm just in charge of announcements.

[Laughter]

[Knocking]

Uh, may I, uh, come in?

Oh ace, wait till you hear the great news.

I'm gonna be a daddy.

Congratulations.

Oh, I guess you two don't need a donor now.

Nah.

We do just fine the old fashioned way.

Well listen, if you do have a baby boy, you

better name him after--

Gus.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

Oh susie, darling.

What happened with gopher came as a total surprise to me.

I never gave him the least bit of encouragement.

Oh honey, I was polite to him.

I mean, that's all.

Because I thought he liked you.

And most important, because you liked him.

He said he was in love with you.

Oh honey, that's the way he feels.

I told him I didn't feel the same way.

Didn't he tell you?

No.

Actually, I really didn't give him the chance.

But what you said about gopher, is it true?

You like him, don't you?

Does that matter?

And you were gonna let me have him.

Oh honey, I'm not going to try to take him away

if he meant that much to you.

Oh mama.

You know, maybe you have been worrying too much about me.

And goodness knows, I've been so busy

trying to put the right man in my life, that I have--

I have had blinders on.

But what about the right man in your life?

Well, I have to admit, I do find gopher appealing.

Right.

[Laughter]

You're gonna have to excuse me.

What is that saying, mama?

Uh, three's a crowd.

Evening.

Hope I'm not interrupting anything.

You've got quite a daughter there, you know that?

No, wait a minute.

No, I said that wrong.

Um, susie has quite a mother.

I like the sound of that, gopher.

I truly do.

[Music playing]

[Music playing]

Come see us again.

- Bye-bye. - Goodbye.

So long.

Thanks for sailing with us.

Thank you for a wonderful cruise.

Now, you're the most unusual honeymooners we've ever had.

Yes.

Well, i'm-- I'm real sorry about the little deception.

We really should've told you right from the start.

Well, you paid for your tickets,

whatever your names were.

[Laughter]

But someone owes $86.

Wedding cakes aren't cheap, you know.

Don't worry, Isaac, we'll pay for it ourselves.

And we really are gonna get married too.

That's right.

Well, congratulations.

And don't worry about the newlywed stage,

you've been through it already.

Yes.

[Laughter] - See you later.

- Bye-bye. - So long.

Take care.

Bye.

This has been an incredible experience for me.

Well, it doesn't have to end, you know.

I plan to see a lot more of you.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

And how often does this ship come to Kentucky?

I'll speak to the captain.

Goodbye Judy.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye

Kentucky.

[Laughter]

I am so glad everything worked out ok for you two.

Oh, thanks.

And thanks to all of you.

Especially you, doc.

Oh, I'm glad I could help.

And when that baby does arrive, don't

forget to send me a cigar.

Hey, the way they grow kids in my family,

I'll send you a whole truckload.

Sorry for all the trouble we put you through, ace.

Oh hey, it was no problem.

And listen, if you two ever want a favor again,

don't call me, ok?

[Laughter]

You've got a deal.

All right.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

[Music playing]