Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪♪

Pardon me, young ladies

-hi. -Hi.

I'm Leslie Campbell.

Ah, yes.

Mr. Campbell,

you're in cabin 156 on the fiesta deck.

Right.

Oh, those are sure lovely flowers.

Lovely flowers for the equally lovely

Ms. Shelley sommers.

At least, I hope she'll be lovely.

You mean you've never seen her before?

Not really.

You see, we were matched up

by one of those computer dating services.

[ Both chuckle ]

If my dear wife were alive,

she'd be having herself a good laugh.

[ Both chuckle ]

By the way, has Ms. Sommers checked in yet?

Let's see.

Nope. Not yet.

Well, thank you.

I'll just hang around and wait.

Oh, well, enjoy your cruise.

Thanks.

This must be the place

where guys with flowers line up.

[ Laughs ] No, no.

I'm just waiting for somebody.

If you want to check in,

those two ladies over there can take care of you.

Thank you.

Uh, how much did that cost?

$10.

Got a better deal than I did.

Oh, some lady's in for a pleasant surprise.

If you are Ms. Shelley sommers,

they're all yours.

Mm. I wish I were.

Even without the flowers.

All checked in?

Yeah.

Well, that was fast.

Oh. I'm Leslie Campbell.

Yeah. They already told me.

I'm shelley sommers.

What?

You're kidding.

What would you like to see, my driver's license,

the name tape on my shorts?

I guess that computer goofed.

Yes.

This definitely is not love at first sight.

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Thank you. Aha.

Looks like we've got a pretty good-looking group

this cruise, eh?

It sure does.

And it's getting better looking all the time.

Hey, gopher. How do I look? Is my mustache even?

Yeah.

Your lips are crooked.

Uh, excuse me. May I get a picture?

I'm the ship's photographer.

Oh, be my guest.

Great. Thank you very much.

Oh [ Laughs ]

Thank you.

[ Laughs ]

Hi, uh, welcome aboard. I'm Isaac Washington.

Oh, hi. I'm Lynda miles.

Pretty name for such a pretty lady.

Oh.

Uh, this is gopher Smith.

Hi. Have a fantastic cruise.

Well, thank you.

And this is ace Evans.

A pleasure to meet you.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, how wonderful of all of you to extend yourselves to me.

-Oh. -Oh.

Ah.

-Oh. -Oh. [ Laughs ]

You could be instructors of bos.

Bos?

Yes.

Being of self.

Oh, it's the ultimate in personal awareness.

Oh, you mean one of those self-help philosophies?

Oh, the self-help philosophy.

Bos believes that only through total honesty,

one can express one's self to its truest form,

and thus find fulfillment and happiness.

Here. This book will help to enlighten you.

Oh, uh, thank you,

but we're not allowed to read on duty.

Oh.

Well, then check it out in your spare time.

Thank you. We'd love to.

Oh, excellent.

Well, oh, it's been so wonderful sharing myself with you.

Oh. [ Laughs ]

♪♪

[ Sniffles ]

Excuse me, miss.

May we help you?

It's very kind of you to take an interest,

but nothing can help me now.

I'm just gonna have to resign myself

to being an old maid, that's all.

Well, you don't look very old to me.

22 tomorrow.

Oh. Get out the old rocking chair.

I have waited for Robert Edward allston

since I was 12 years old.

I've been engaged to him since I was 16.

I was hoping he'd come with me on this cruise.

But if he thinks I'm gonna spend another birthday

watching TV and pining for him

till he gets himself good and ready,

he can just bite a bug.

Excuse me.

A box this size should go in the hold.

Sorry, sir. It's for a passenger,

a miss emelyne namackere.

Oh.

I'm emelyne namackere.

Well, I see you don't travel light.

So thank you very much, gentlemen.

What on earth could this be?

Oh, perhaps this will explain.

"Have the time of your life, my treat, Robert."

He hasn't forgotten.

I wonder what he sent.

Happy birthday.

I'm Neil. I'm your birthday present from Robert.

Robert sent you another man as a present?

What kind of a guy is he?

As of yesterday, a married one.

[ Air horn blows ]

♪♪

Will you please stop following me?

I'm your gift.

My orders are to follow you wherever you go.

Well, I hope you come with a money-back guarantee

because I don't want you.

Who did Robert marry?

Uh, Carol Ann josephson.

You're lying. She's my best friend.

[ Scoffs ] He knew you'd be upset.

That's why he sent a replacement.

Well, you can tell him

I'm returning the merchandise unused.

♪♪

Hi. May I?

Suit yourself.

Well, I must say you're the most...

Unusual blind date I've ever had.

You're not exactly Bo Derek yourself.

To think that I blew

a good chunk of my retirement pay

to end up with you.

Look, I spent my hard-earned pension money for this trip.

But I'm not gonna sit around here and sulk.

I'll bet there are plenty of interesting women

on this ship.

And I suppose you're gonna find one just like that?

Why not? I met a very attractive woman

when I was boarding.

Perhaps I can find her again.

Nothing comes to the man who waits.

Hi, Mr. Sommers.

I thought you might like to meet someone.

Joan philipps, this is shelley sommers.

Delighted to meet you, shelley.

Uh, yes.

Uh, would you like to have a seat?

Thank you.

Oh, if you see Leslie Campbell,

tell him "great things come to a man who waits."

[ Laughs ]

-Bye-bye. -Uh-huh.

[ Snaps fingers ]

Well...

♪♪

Hi.

I think I got it figured out.

I'll just bet you were Carol Ann's idea.

It would be just like her

to think of something like you.

Robert is not cruel.

That's true.

Robert didn't send me.

He wasn't even going to tell you that he got married.

Actually, he's a nice guy.

He just lacks guts.

Well, thank you Carol Ann for nothing.

Carol Ann didn't send me.

She didn't?

Just whose bright idea were you?

I was my idea.

Yours?

Yeah.

See, I've been wanting to meet you

ever since I first saw pictures of you.

Where'd you ever see pictures of me?

When Robert kept them pasted up in his locker.

We work together.

You mean, you saw pictures of me in his locker? Yeah.

And you took it upon yourself

to send yourself to me as a gift?

Yeah.

Did I look so poorly, so in dire need?

Well, you could just put a stamp on yourself

and send yourself right back.

Aw, emelyne.

Look at all the money that I've spent

and the trouble that I've taken.

It wasn't easy finding a box that big,

or two guys to carry it up.

Look, you can always throw me out.

But why not give me a chance first?

Kind of a trial-basis, huh?

And you won't be disappointed.

But I got to warn you. I don't do things.

So if you think I'd do things...

What things don't you do?

You know. Things.

Do you swim?

Of course I do that.

Well, it's a start.

You're a devil, you know that?

Oh, Isaac. That's beautiful.

So creative.

Oh.

You must be a sensitive man.

Oh, thanks.

You know, Lynda, I only had a chance

to glance at that book you gave us,

"being of self."

And I'm not sure I really understood it.

Oh, bos is really very simple.

Basically, each of us has two faces --

one inside we hide

and one outside that we put on for others to see.

And the one inside is the one we should show everyone.

You're very bright, Isaac.

Keep reading the book.

Hi, Lynda.

Oh, hi, gopher.

Oh, your friend Isaac is truly a beautiful person.

♪♪

Knights and ladies,

please join us to a special banquet

of beef Wellington, Yorkshire pudding,

Sherry trifle, fine ales, and a jolly good time

as our coral dining room presents British night.

Vicki: Dad, do you think it's fattening

to order beef Wellington, popovers, and Sherry trifle?

Merrill: No. Ordering's not the fattening.

It's eating part that gets you.

[ Laughter ]

Excuse me, captain stubing.

Yes.

Lynda: The harmonious aura

that emanates from you and pervades this entire ship

is truly a thing of beauty.

Thank you.

Merrill, she took the words right out of my mouth.

Who was that?

Once, after a fight,

I gave Robert his engagement ring back.

He pleaded, but I told him I was through

sitting around in that one-horse-town

waiting until he got a promotion.

I said "maybe somebody else

would appreciate what I have to offer."

Well, I do.

And so do the guys at the plant.

You mean I was a topic for leering conversation?

That picture, it looks like you don't have anything on.

It was a low-cut dress.

[ Chuckles ] It sure was.

I wish our dinners would get here. I'm hungry.

So am I.

My dear lady,

if only you knew the countless hours I have spent

trying to track you down.

Oh, did you?

Yes.

And all for the single purpose

of asking you to be my dinner companion.

May I?

Oh.

I already have a dinner date.

Oh, well.

My loss.

Wait a minute.

He's about 15 minutes late.

What if I'm being stood up?

Then it would be a shame for you to leave.

My sentiments exactly.

What kind of a fool

could ever stand up a lovely lady like you?

Joan, I'm so sorry that I'm late.

What are you doing here?

Playing badminton.

What does it look like I'm doing here?

Stealing my dinner date. That's what it looks like.

You -- you two know each other?

Yeah.

Stealing my date.

It's bad enough you didn't turn out to be a woman.

What?

You don't want to know.

Right.

Well, since we're all here,

why don't we just try to have a pleasant dinner?

Come on. Sit down.

♪♪

♪♪

I'm dying to hear more about the insurance business, Leslie.

Oh, I'm sure you'll find it dull.

I couldn't find anything you'd say dull.

Besides, I was wondering if I had enough coverage.

I don't know.

But I like what your coverage is covering.

Oh, you are a smooth talker, you.

My turn.

Oh.

I've seen him dance.

I hope your accident insurance is paid up.

I'm dying to hear

more about the newspaper business, shelley.

Well, I was a pretty good reporter in my time.

Oh, I'm sure you were.

You know, I've always wanted

to get close to an exciting journalist

and discuss the famous five ws that make up a new story.

You know, the who, what, where, when, why?

You just make me think of another w.

Wow.

I've always been conservative,

though sometimes weak.

All those years with Robert,

we'd been together all that time,

and we never did it.

I mean, went all the way.

You get prettier and prettier.

My, how we restrained ourselves.

I mean, I give him the credit.

Sometimes I could just feel myself getting passionate.

Thank goodness Robert was always in control

as it turns out.

Good old Robert.

My, many times, he saved me from myself.

I mean, if I just let go, can you imagine what'd happen?

Oh, I can, and I do.

♪♪

This is my stop.

It's been a wonderful evening, especially the company.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

Pleasant dreams.

Good night.

See you tomorrow.

So, uh, what do you think of Joan?

Oh, I don't know.

She seems pretty ordinary to me.

Yeah.

Nothing to write home about.

Thank you.

Listen, why don't you sit down and relax a little bit?

I'm more relaxed standing

it's just that I don't know

if I should really be here or not.

Aren't you enjoying yourself?

Of course I am.

Too much, maybe.

I mean, who knows what a situation like this

could lead to?

You're right.

So let's drink to finding out.

Yeah, I guess one little night cap couldn't hurt.

♪♪

Oh, look. You can see the man in the moon.

Oh. Uh-oh. We better be careful.

He's looking right at us.

I have nothing to hide.

Oh. [ Chuckles ]

Isaac: You're right. He is watching us.

Oh.

You know, I think we'd have more privacy in my cabin.

Notice how bos has given you

the straightforward approach.

Does it give me a straightforward answer?

Lead the way.

Glad to.

Well, isn't this a nice surprise.

I thought you couldn't keep your eyes open.

It looks like I have to with you around.

Champagne, shelley?

I thought you weren't interested in the lady.

Don't you give me a hard time.

What are you doing here?

Me?

Just taking a little stroll.

[ Violin music plays ]

What is this? A musical stroll-by?

Flowers, violinists.

You don't pay more than 10 bucks for anything, do ya?

Ah, shelley.

What a nice surprise.

Leslie.

What a nice surprise.

Here.

Thank you.

Here.

Thank you.

[ Music continues ]

Attention, please.

Our delicious breakfast buffet

is now being served on the starlight deck.

♪♪

Robert always wanted to keep our relationship pure.

He said he didn't respect girls

who weren't pure when they got married.

And I was always so interested in having him respect me.

I'm a fallen woman now, that's for sure.

Fallen women have good complexions.

That's just a myth.

My complexion's always been one of my best features.

Let me see.

It still looks better than it did last night.

Oh, go on.

You're never gonna respect me now.

I'll always respect you, emelyne.

No, you won't.

And men don't marry girls they don't respect.

Would you marry me?

I mean, if I asked?

You never would.

Reach under your pillow.

Will you marry me, emelyne?

Oh, Neil...

Neil, I can't marry you.

What?

I don't even know your last name.

Bonhoff.

Emelyne bonhoff.

That sounds just fine.

♪♪

Joan, I am so sorry about that foul-up last night.

I just wish I could've been in your cabin alone.

Oh, and so do I, shelley.

Do you believe that Leslie and his violinist?

Have you ever seen anything so corny?

I never cared much for violin music,

but I adore champagne.

I knew you would.

[ Laughs ]

[ Clears throat ]

Could we meet, uh, later, uh, privately?

I'd love to.

Mm-hmm.

Good morning.

Good morning.

So I said to this cub reporter,

"when a man bites a dog, that's news."

Mm.

"But when a man bites another man,

that is even bigger news."

Oh. [ Laughs ]

Is he boring you with the newspaper man stories?

Yeah.

It's so much more exciting listening to the romance

of mortgage cancellation insurance.

[ Laughs ]

Would you be a dear, shelley,

and get me some more coffee?

Oh, my pleasure.

Thank you.

My apologies for last night, my dear.

I wish that it had been just you alone

coming to my cabin.

My violinist playing outside your door...

Violins are so romantic.

Let's meet later, just the two of us.

I look forward to it.

I'll slip knock-out drops in his prune juice.

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to sunny puerto vallarta.

Known for its gracious style of living

and its old world charm,

this port has delightful memories awaiting you

around every corner of its cobblestone streets.

♪♪

Farewell to your radiant aura, my sweet Lynda.

Till our souls touch again.

Touch again.

I have the feeling your souls

weren't the only things that were touching.

Well, we did share each other's space.

But there's more to it than just that, doc.

Since I've embraced bos,

my entire outlook on life has changed.

It's the difference between day and night.

I don't know about the day,

but certainly the night seems to have worked out.

Doc, everything is changing for me.

And the next time you see me,

I'll be a whole new Isaac Washington.

A whole new Isaac Washington.

A whole new me.

That's nice,

but don't forget the old Isaac still owes me 10 bucks.

♪♪

Hello, gorgeous.

Where have you been?

We've got some sightseeing to do.

Robert called to wish me a happy birthday.

I told him "thank you," and then I said

"congratulations on your marriage to Carol Ann."

And?

And...then I hung up.

Well, that's over with.

Come on, future miss bonhoff.

The air is full of romance.

Then Robert called me right back.

How did you know Robert and Carol Ann are married?

They didn't get married until last night.

And he didn't decide to marry her until yesterday afternoon

when you called and told him you and I were getting married,

but I didn't decide to marry you until this morning.

I knew you would.

Did you?

How do you know so much about me?

Instinct.

Well, did your instinct tell you I was gonna do this?

Well, to tell you the truth, Joan,

I just don't know too many dames.

I -- I mean, women.

Uh, I -- I just never felt comfortable with them.

Well, you should, a charming bachelor like you.

Mature women are very attracted

to men who have never been married.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

I know I am.

Well, I'm glad.

It seems... Different with you.

As long as we're getting along so well,

we should get together back home.

Who knows where it might lead.

Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe you'd like to go to a -- a ball game with me.

With my connections, I can get great seats at the ballpark.

You like baseball?

You don't?

I find it... Rather boring.

Uh, but I'm sure that --

that we could find a lot of other interesting things to do.

Well I -- I guess, uh...

A man could learn to like indoor sports too.

[ Chuckles ]

Gopher, just because Isaac has changed his thinking,

there's no reason to condemn him.

Remember what Voltaire said --

"I disapprove of what you say,

but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

Voltaire was a lucky guy, sir.

He died before he met Isaac Washington.

[ Whistling ]

Hi, guys.

Isaac, are you on duty?

I sure am.

Then I hope you won't mind my telling you

that you're out of uniform.

Unless we should all be wearing flags like that.

[ Laughs ]

Gopher, that's funny.

You know, you have a wonderful sense of humor.

Merrill, a uniform is just a state of mind --

like a title --

a mask by which we hide our true selves.

Isaac, I don't want to discuss philosophy with you.

But if you're not back in uniform in two minutes,

you'll be out of it for good.

Thank you, captain.

I really appreciate you sharing

your true, inner feelings with me like that,

and I want you to have this.

And, goph, one for you, too.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Hi, gang.

Hi.

I'm glad I bumped into you.

I have presents for each of you.

"Being of self." What is this?

The key to unlocking the happiness

lying dormant in each of us.

I think I'll wait for the movie.

Uh, no, thanks, Isaac.

I'm happy just the way I am.

No, you're not happy.

Oh, yes I am.

No, you're not happy.

You just think you're happy

because you're having such a good time.

But this book will show you

how wretched and miserable your life really is.

You know what's funny,

I was thinking that very thing last night

as I was eating my caviar.

Here you go, Judy.

See you later. -Bye.

It looks like Isaac's been brainwashed.

Worse.

It looks like he sent his brain to the laundry

and they lost it.

♪♪

Oh, I can't tell you how happy I am, Leslie.

We didn't have much time in town.

It was short, but it was so sweet.

Sweeter than the time

you spent with shelley earlier today?

Oh, that.

[ Sighs ]

That...was a mercy date.

Oh.

I much prefer men who have been married.

They're more experienced in dealing with a woman.

Yeah.

I guess we are.

Would you believe it?

Shelley's idea of a good time is going to a baseball game.

What's wrong with baseball?

Don't tell me. You like baseball, too?

Sure, my late wife and I

always had season tickets every year.

Well, maybe you and I...

Will be doing a lot more exciting things

than watching baseball.

[ Chuckles ]

It's beginning to sound like a whole new ball game.

As we bid adios to beautiful puerto vallarta,

we'd like to wish all our passengers

a pleasant voyage back to our home port of Los Angeles.

♪♪

Oh, Vicki, that's so sweet.

Thank you.

Sure.

Have a nice night.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

"Before blowing out the candle,

please make any wish

that will please your sweetheart.

Your sweetheart, Neil."

[ Knock on door ]

Well, what'd you wish, honey?

Oh, Neil.

I wished that you'd come to the door

just like you have.

I knew it.

Instinct.

♪♪

Oh, don't take it so personally, Isaac.

But they didn't even want to read the book.

Well, it's their loss.

Yes, but they're my friends.

And I want them to share in

the same wonderful feeling I have inside

since I found you and bos.

Oh, Isaac.

I have to be absolutely honest with you.

The inner-self that deals with the heart

tells me that I love you.

And my self loves your self.

Oh.

Well, listen.

Don't feel bad about your friends.

Sometimes, it's hard for people

to have to deal with the truth.

You're right.

After all, before I met you,

i never would have been able to live a life of total honesty.

Oh...

[ Laughs ]

What's so funny.

[ Laughs ]

You'll love this.

When -- when you first told me about bos...

[ Laughs ]

...i thought it was ridiculous.

[ Laughs ]

You did?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I just pretended to go along with it

'cause I thought you were sexy.

[ Laughs ]

[ Chuckles ]

You pretended to go along with it

because you thought I was sexy?

But I was just being completely honest with you.

Oh, you were?

Well, I'm being completely honest with you.

I never want to see you again.

Oh. Good evening, Leslie.

Joan.

What are you doing here?

I'm with my lady-friend.

Your lady-friend?

She only went out with you because you were a mercy date.

Right, Joan?

Well...

Why don't you go and have a drink

with your corny violinist.

Joan hated that, didn't you, Joan?

Well...

You told me you liked it.

You told me you liked me, too.

You said that I was the one you were interested in.

Well, which one of us is it?

[ Sighs ]

I like...

Both of you.

Mm.

But not one any more than the other.

You were playing us one against the other.

Well, a woman does have to look out for her own future.

But you don't care who you spend your future with?

Me or the moth-eaten sweater here.

As far as I'm concerned,

you can stay with Mr. Ascot.

I've had it.

Well, I'm glad that's settled.

Well, you can be doubly glad.

I've had it, too.

♪♪

I've seen people change before, but never like Isaac.

Yeah. He's turned around completely.

The wizard of bos.

Hi, gang. Got a minute?

Uh, sorry, Isaac. I gave at the office.

Judy, I was wondering, could we talk?

Isaac, I would love to talk,

but I have to clean bingo balls for the game tomorrow.

Ace?

Ace: Sorry.

I have to take a picture

of the ship's anchor in the moonlight.

[ Clicks tongue ]

Doc.

I'd love to stay, Isaac,

but this is inventory night.

I've got to count my aspirin.

Gopher.

Isaac.

My man.

My main man.

Listen, I --

hey, you know what?

I got a date tonight.

You know what we're gonna do?

What?

We're gonna go down to my cabin,

and we are gonna discuss

how meaningless and wretched our lives really are.

Later, bro.

Looks like if I'm gonna be of myself,

I'm gonna be by myself.

♪♪

I came to apologize.

It wasn't right, doing what I did with that cake.

I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry.

It was bad manners.

Goodnight.

That's not why you came.

You want to be with me.

What makes you think that?

Instinct.

You and your instinct.

That's been the cause of it all.

Do you always act on instinct?

Always.

Ever since the first time

that I saw your picture in Robert's locker,

I knew you were for me

because I trust my instincts.

Well, I've been thinking about you and your instincts --

see, that's your problem. You think too much.

Some things you don't think about.

You know what's out there?

What, the ocean?

Turtles.

Turtles?

Turtles.

And you know what they're doing?

No. I never knew a turtle I could ask.

Swimming -- that's what they're doing.

See, nobody teaches them.

They don't think about it.

They just do it.

It's all instinct.

Well, I don't care about turtles.

Swimming thousands and thousands of miles.

And you know where?

No, I don't.

Neither do they.

But one day, they get there anyhow.

Where?

A tiny little island somewhere in the pacific.

They hadn't been there since they day they were born,

but one day they get there.

That's the most ridiculous story

I've ever heard in my whole life.

But it's true.

You know what they do when they get there?

They have babies,

just like their mommies and daddies had them.

It's all instinct.

Well, I'm not gonna have my babies

on a tiny island in the pacific,

you can be sure.

Like I said, you think too much.

You thought about love.

You thought about making love.

You thought about marriage.

And what did it get you?

Unhappy and lonely.

Neil --

see, the first time you acted out of pure instinct,

you fell in love, got made love to,

you got engaged,

and then you started thinking again.

And it got you unhappy and lonely.

Well?

♪♪

How many turtles do you want to have?

[ Knock on door ]

Merrill: Just a minute.

Hi, merrill.

What is it, Isaac?

Merrill, I am really upset,

and I need somebody to talk to

and nobody's talking to me except you.

You are talking to me, aren't you?

Come in.

Now, what seems to be the problem?

I just don't understand bos.

You're not the only one.

Well, Lynda is so gung-ho on it.

And the first time she faced a truth with me,

a truth that hurt a little,

she couldn't handle it.

Isaac, since the dawn of civilization,

greater minds than yours or mine or Lynda's

have been searching for the meaning of life.

And do you really think you're gonna find it overnight

in a paperback book?

It does sound sort of foolish, doesn't it?

Even if bos were the answer for your life,

that doesn't mean it would be the answer for everyone.

Yeah.

[ Chuckles ]

I guess I have some apologizing to do.

You know, captain, you are a very wise man.

[ Chuckles ]

And if you ever decide to go into the guru business,

I'm gonna be your first disciple.

Well, thank you.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna go search for life's meaning

the one sure way I know how --

in a good night's sleep.

Ah.

Thanks a lot, captain.

♪♪

Hi.

Oh, hi.

How about that Joan?

She was so anxious to wind up with a man,

she had us both on the hook.

Yeah, well, I guess I was a pretty easy Mark.

How come?

Well, I was lonely,

and we bachelors along in years, we get pretty lonely.

So do widowers.

I guess I was lonely too.

Seems that this cruise started off bad

and is ending up even worse.

What a waste of time

filling out all those questionnaires

for that stupid computer.

Oh, that computer didn't get one thing right.

Oh, I don't know.

We both like baseball.

I stand corrected -- one thing.

So maybe you and I, we can take in a game together.

I get free tickets, you know.

Sounds good.

Hey, maybe after the game

we could grab a bite somewhere.

Well, that's better than eating alone.

I don't suppose you like Mexican food, do you?

I am crazy 'about Mexican food.

I even put that in the computer questionnaire.

[ Both laugh ]

So did I.

And I know of this great little place near the ballpark.

You know that place?

Audrey and I went there after all the games.

They serve the best margaritas in town.

You like margaritas?

Oh, I am a regular Margarita maniac.

[ Both laugh ]

Then maybe later

we could go to one of those social clubs

and look for a couple of nice women, together.

Together.

It's a nice word, isn't it?

[ Violin music playing ]

[ Both laughing ]

♪♪

-Bye-bye. -Good-bye, captain.

-Oh, good-bye. -See you.

-Bye-bye. -Doc.

-Had a great time. -Bye.

I see you decided to keep your gift.

Uh-huh.

And I got another one to go along with it.

Oh.

Somehow, both of them look permanent.

What'd you do that for?

Instinct.

[ Laughs ]

-Bye-bye. -Bye-bye.

Lynda, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings last night.

I guess being of self just isn't for me.

I'm the one who should be apologizing.

I mean, there I was preaching honesty.

The first time I come face-to-face with it,

I fall apart.

But listen, I just want you to know

that I think that you're a beautiful person,

honest.

[ Both laugh ]

Thank you.

Good-bye, Lynda.

Oh, Isaac.

Bye-bye.

Good-bye, gentlemen.

Thank you, Vicki.

I hope the trip turned out better than when we started.

Oh, it did. It did.

I think our days of being alone are numbered.

Oh, good.

Good-bye, you two.

I hope you both find what you're looking for.

Sasha...

I wonder how long that'll last.

Till she sees the rest of the orchestra.

[ Both laugh ]

♪♪

♪♪